Red Scare - Pod the Patriarchy

Episode Date: September 17, 2021

The ladies review the Met Gala.

Hello. Hello. I'm back yet again. What's up, Anna? Nada. I'm just scrolling. I'm just scrolling through Instagram, looking at best of Liam Gallagher. I always start recording and then start looking for my jewel.

Yeah. And jingle my keys. Sorry. No, it's okay. It's fine. I don't need to jewel. CumWizard69420. Another great account.

Yeah, look at this Russian. Any good infographics? No. On the feed today? No. That's where I get all my, all my news. On Instagram? Just like if I, that's how I take the cultural temp is like seeing what people are posting

info. I see. I see. Yeah. Because that's what, that's activism. Yep. That's what I'm getting active about this and that. I wanted to tell the story of my 9-11.

Okay. Oh, I found my jewel. Great. Perfect. Never forget. Cause we recorded our last episode before 9-11. I had, it was a beautiful day. Much like the real 9-11.

It was very clear out. And I got together with Maddie and a friend of the Podnick Pinkerton and we watched YouTube videos all afternoon long. I watched a documentary about Muhammad Ata. My doppelganger. Yeah. And I thought about how you said that and it's really true in that pic. Yeah.

And, and he wasn't, he wasn't some chicken coop peasant that was educated and credentialed. Yeah. He was an architect. Yeah. So he knew all that. He was brought into this world to build things and instead he tore them down. Yeah. Anyway.

Well, that's how he knew where to hit the tower. He knew all the stress points. I listened to the, to the Howard Stern from like the day that it happened. Yeah. Incredible artifact. Yeah. I haven't heard it. Amazing.

Cause they're like riffing. They're, they're doing their like, I don't know what they're even talking about. It's like, I don't listen to podcasts. They're always talking about like Pamela Anderson and like, you know, their normal like blue humor. Yeah. And then someone that they're on the phone with is like, the world trade center is on fire and then they're like, they slowly are like realizing what's going on.

They go back to, to their show, to their like regular programming and then it like dawns on them that like a plane's been flown into the world train center and then the second plane hits. I mean, that's to me, the craziest part about 9-Eleven, two planes. Yeah. It's like, I'm a real second plane head. Like that is so shocking and it really, it was just such a crazy thing that happened. Yeah.

I think people don't fully appreciate the awesome magnitude of that act. Well, 9-Eleven's a wonderful day to reflect and stock house and point, which I'll repeat for a third time on this pod or maybe a fourth time, there's, that it was like the greatest work of art of the 21st century. We love saying that on this, on this pod. That sounds cruel, but it's not, it was truly an awesome and sublime thing that happened to be monsters and tragic, but that was the intended. I don't think that's a disrespectful thing to say, you know, yeah.

So then we went down to the memorial to pay our respects and then we went to this bar by the World Trade Center where we got proceeded to get really drunk and then these first responders showed up and they were really vibing with, they loved Morrissey and they loved Oasis and you know how Maddie and I feel about Oasis and we got wasted and like sang with them and had this really like incredible night and it made me really grateful to be an American and really like, they did have haunted ass looks in their eyes. Like they made a sacrifice so they saw their friends die and stuff that day like just firemen are so brave and I have so much respect for them.

Yeah. I mean, like, like I just told you when I got hit by an ambula and it refused to take me to the hospital and they had to call another ambulance like this is five years ago. It happened across the street from a fire house and the guys all like stopped what they were doing and ran out and like lifted me on a gurney and like, ma'am, don't move your head. Oh my God. And I was just like, oh my God, I could die like this because they were all so hot and

like calm. Yeah. Yeah. Rescued by a hot fire fire. Yeah. And they were like big burly men with big burly mustaches. Yeah. They've seen so much shit.

Yeah. Like, like sometimes they don't save people's lives, you know? Oh yeah. And they have to let they like, it's so heavy. Yeah, they have to live with the fireman's burden. The, yeah, the awesome toll of watching, having watched people perish. Yeah. I'm, I'm very much with Vincent Gallo about 9-11.

They should have rebuilt those towers like in exact replica. I think what replaced it is a hideous monstrosity that is the memorial, the freedom tower. Oh, the freedom tower. That thing is, you know, it's supposed to be a monument to the twin towers and to 9-11, but it's just the monument to global homo. It's really tall. It is impressive and it's, it's huge. It's huge.

Yeah. I think that Mike Bolandek actually says, but I think we need three towers. Fine. Done. I think two is done. I think we need two exactly the same and a fucking third one. Yeah. And that one, make it in fucking Iraq.

No, in Saudi Arabia, that's where most of the hijackers were from. Oh yeah. Right. Right. So I don't know why we were in Iraq or Afghanistan because apparently they had something to do with 9-11 and da-da-da, but like, yeah, this was a, a, a salafi, Iraq makes no sense at all. Yeah.

That was just Bush-era antics. Yeah. Well, that sounds like a beautiful God bless night. This country and God bless New York city. No, seriously. Amen. What a night. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Um, I also agree with Vincent Gallo's take on, I'm not going to the podcast, we agree with Vincent Gallo, um, about Norm MacDonald. I think. Oh yeah. I love how he took the opportunity as this man's death to insult another man.

To say, learn Michael should burn in hell. Yeah. So sick. Yeah. Norm MacDonald, another American tragedy, though actually he's Canadian, so my condolences to Canadians everywhere. He's the only thing that you guys had going for you and now he's gone. He was so great.

Yeah. I was really touched by his. He was like. Yeah. One of a kind. Yes. What? Absolutely.

No. He was one of a kind. There was nobody. I just, I went over there asking for a job. I said, we need to talk about women and stand up and he put his hands down my pants, like a meat hook. I froze. I would be so honored and flattered to be groped by Norm.

I know that would be a dream come true and he would know that's the thing is he would never do that. He wouldn't do that. We all know it. We all know it. He's like the only person with any integrity in comedy. Yeah. He's a totally weird, bizarre guy by the looks of it, but he actually seemed to operate.

He was like, Omar from the wire. He seemed to operate according to his own internal moral code. If some allegations come out that prove to be true, I completely take that back in advance, but he had like, you know, that classic thing where he's like in the car with with Seinfeld and Seinfeld's like, the thing that bothers me about the Cosby stuff is the hypocrisy and music. Well, what bothers me is the rape. Oh, yeah, not me.

No, he was really one of a kind. I was sitting there like struggling to figure out because I watched a bunch of Norm clips obviously after he died. The Hillary Clinton ones make me bring me so much like peace and joy. Yeah. I mean, there's so many. Conan moth monologue, of course, all those, yeah, all great heads, all the SNL stuff, the SNL monologue when he comes to fire and such a G lost all his money three times.

Yeah. I love one of my the other one that I really like is with Dennis. I think he's talking like Dennis Miller about how he's not gay, but if he was, he'd want to be with a guy with a really small cock. Truly like a terrible loss. Yeah. Truly an unfunny and terrible comic. It wasn't even funny.

It was really funny. You should just acknowledge this. We need the space to talk about comedy, which is my workplace when I first saw that unsafe workplace tweet. I was like, whoa, this chick is like the greatest living sadist of all time. She runs laps around Norm MacDonald and this is a woman. And then I realized she was being fully unironic. Yeah.

I like almost couldn't believe myself. And then there was that New York Times obit that I screen capped to and tweeted about that was like, we need to talk about Norm MacDonald is anti trans late in his life. He made anti trans remarks that he later apologized for. He made fun of people with Down syndrome. It's like what Kenny's dad says to him, 10 pounds of shit and a five pound bag and friends with faggots. A lot of the criticism that like was circulating about Norm that day just sounded like a norm

bit. I know. It had that quality to it. And I was thinking like, what makes norm so great and magical as a comedic wit? Like aside from his obvious strategy of taking corny and unfunny things and delivering them in a funny way. Well, he has this like impish mischievous. It's like something ineffable and charismatic about him.

Yeah. In the voice. I was like, too many people are talking about how funny norm is and we're not acknowledging how hot he was. He was so hot and then there's some pics of him on weekend update. You know why he was hot that I can answer with certainty because he was like a classic generic nineties man totally like Harrison Ford. Well style has a lot to do with that as well, you know, Norm never, I don't think I've ever

seen him in like a bad outfit. You know, he's very like restrained and neutral in his hot way. Just like a leather jacket and some dumpy blue jeep. I feel like the only guy holding the torch for norm style these days is Adam Corolla. How is he dressing nowadays and probably like a leather jacket and t-shirt and like dumpy blue. Good. I'm glad he's staying true to his words.

Yeah. No, but I was trying to figure out like what it is that made him funny because like all great artists, he had that thing that he was able to take his highly idiosyncratic and personalized idiom and translate it into a canon. Like I think he inspired just like watching those clips over again. He inspired so many comics. Yeah. Definitely.

Like I was thinking of all the comics that I like and he, and they all have shades of him, but he also like all great artists. He was like the definitive one who also inspired a lot of bad. Like he gave rise to that whole detached and ironic Twitter idiom that I loath so much. Yeah. It's not his fault. I'm not saying it. You know, I don't mean it in a critical way.

It's his influence. Yeah. It's his influence, but like the problem with being influential is that you spawn a lot of good, but you spawn a lot of bad too because everybody, but no one's ever done it like nobody can do it like no one can do it like Norm. And also like what a class act. Not talking about how he had cancer. Yeah.

I know. Not telling my story. He did not tell his story till the day he died. Like a good Irish man. Oops. Sorry. The baby's sad about Norm too. Yeah.

He's crying. Yeah. That's like, I don't know, it's like cool and upright and dignified that he was essentially like aside from his tremendous fame and once he was like a totally like private and unknown person. Yeah. I mean, he had, he wasn't like a mega star, you know, even he was, in a lot of ways, he's was sort of like underrated, like the Norm show wasn't really like a thing, a hit.

And he like, I mean, I guess the last decade or so, since he's had cancer, he hasn't really been stepping it up with the fluctuating in weight. With the car. Yeah. He was looking. It's so sad. Yeah. Oh, Norm.

It's so Irish also to suffer for a decade with cancer and not tell anyone about it. I know. It's like Irish Catholic abnegation. God. Wait, how old is he? Like 61. Well, that's the thing with also, he's like a truly comics comic because he's like a walking tragedy that makes light of himself.

Like comics are such sad and ill fated people. Yeah. Well, yeah. Like they're doomed. The best ones are. Yeah. Yeah. There's no other way about it.

One of my favorite things Nick Mullen ever said was like, if you want to hang with the clown, you have to drink his tears. Oh, God. We're not even 20 minutes in. We've already blown our load. Norm. Yeah. I'll just repeat our favorite, our favorite norm is also, you know, like I've done this

bit on this pod many times, but he's also proof that Irish comics are funnier than Jewish comics. Yeah. You that's a big controversial thing that I say again, that's a hot take of yours. I agree. I agree. I think it has to be said at my own expense, at the expense of my people, I just want to pull up.

I'm going to pull up. I'm literally on you going to go on YouTube and just pull up a norm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's beginning to look that way in an interview on last night's 2020 intended to promote her new book. It takes a village.

This is Clinton folded under tough questioning by Barbara Walters and admitted that in fact, it does not take a village. And furthermore, that she was aware that it does not take a village when she wrote the damn book, meanwhile, President Clinton is hard at work on Tuesday's State of the Union address in which you'll focus on crime, education, and the economy at the request of the First Lady. Part of the president's speech will be huge lies. Yeah.

There's another one where there's like a photo of like very like walking ahead of Bill Clinton. He goes, slow down, you bitch. He just calls her like a bitch and a liar. It's amazing. It's so cool that he saw right through her. And the O.J. jokes. I mean, yeah, that's what he got fired for allegedly, allegedly, that's why he got fired. But O.J. also murdered his wife in cold blood.

I posted that clip of him on the view, Bill Clinton's a murderer. And his like, just, it's, the impishness really does like, he can get away with so much. And everybody's like, he seems so innocent when he says it, but it's so true. And like the ladies are frustrated and annoyed, but they can't do anything. They can't do anything. He's too powerful. And they can't like accuse him of being like, a bad thing because he's being so like, what? You didn't know?

Yeah. Yeah. Clinton, he killed a guy. But yeah, I think like just like his talent also comes from the fact that he like refused to traffic in generalities in a way. I don't know if that, I'm just, I'm going to struggle to articulate what makes him so special other than his kind of like deliberately corny stick and hilarious delivery. It's like he was very kind of specific as a comedian, like a lot of comedians traffic

basically in tropes and archetypes. Yeah. And he's uncompromising, which as you have said, is a euphemism for like autistic. He's maybe a little, he's definitely not autistic, but he's like, has a fun, spurgy energy too. That's really hard to pin down. Yeah. Yeah. Tim Dillon said something like unrelated and off topic who, by the way, I think Tim

Dillon actually takes a lot from Norm too. Yeah. It's like a grand tradition of Irish comics, but he was talking about how like he's an unadaptive person. Tim or Norm? He is Tim. Yeah. And how like when you make money, you basically buy yourself the ability, the right to be

unadaptive. Like you can say no to things and turn things down. And like, I think that that's beautiful, like I can, I very much relate to that because I'm a very like unadaptive, inflexible person. And like, you know, I feel embarrassed and suffer about it. But then I realized like, no, that you, you should be unadaptable, like the whole problem with like the neoliberal paradigm is that everybody's too flexible and adaptable and always conforming to different scenarios and assimilating and Norm was like his own person.

Well, he much like me didn't know how to drive. That's great. Wait, who? Did he have a chauffeur? I can't imagine he did. I think he had like an assistant. I think he had like an assistant or something that he was probably close to him and he was really private.

Where did he live? Was he in LA? Oh, I don't even know. He wasn't in New York because people would probably like see him around, but yeah, maybe LA. Yeah. I guess he has the texture of somebody who like once drove a cab. So I'm surprised.

I was really shocked to learn that also. Yeah. Cause he does seem like kind of like, yeah, like blue, like he blue collar. Yeah. Like he would be able to like drive a truck if he needed to, but I think he. So he's really mentally ill because men who don't know how to drive her. They are. Anna.

It's true. It's like a psychological blog, but yeah, driving. Yeah. I mean, I understand not driving if you're a woman and I understand not driving if you're like a city kid, but yeah, I don't think he was either of those things. Yeah. Right. I don't know.

I, he think he's very, he's kind of his details of his personal life are very opaque. Like, you know, he has like a memoir, but it's all like funny little like essays that aren't true and stuff, you know. Yeah. I'm sure like all Irish comics, he was born of incest and rape. Yeah. Something ain't right with that boy. Wait, let's look up a sign.

That's what I'm curious about. Oh, good. I feel like he could be the elusive male Pisces. I know what you mean, but I doubt it. I bet he's something. Okay. And I guess, Libra, you guessed right. Really?

Yeah. He's October 17th. That's Libra. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Damn. His birthday was right around the corner too.

Yeah. I wish I met him. I wish he had come on the phone. I know. He probably would have, honestly. You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take. I know. I know.

We fucked up. I know. I want Nicki Minaj to come on the pod, but that's never going to happen because she's like too damn famous. She's way too famous to come up in your apartment. We'd have to get a studio or something, which we would do. You think maybe she would. I doubt it.

I doubt it, but yeah. I don't think she would. I'm just like, oh, you're anti-vax and you have a son too. What's your sign? She's like, shut up, white girl. Yeah, Nicki Minaj, anti-vax, did not attend the Met Gala. Well, she's not anti-vax, right? She's just saying like, draw your own conclusions from the information available.

Anti-vax, I'm using it in sort of like the liberal way where you just say, yeah. You just use it as like an umbrella turn for someone who's not like universally pro-vax. Yeah. Yeah, she's at her cousin's friend's testicles swelled up. Yeah, and the girl called off the engagement. Yeah. I was like, this doesn't sound quickly. Whatever, do your research, you know.

That's why Twitter is just a place for people to give you information and you have to draw your own conclusions. Exactly, which is what she's saying. Exactly. Yeah. And she's not wrong. She didn't do anything wrong, but then she claimed she was like kind of like in Twitter jail.

Like people were piling on her? No, no, she like on the back end of her account was like suspended for a period of time where she couldn't like speak her mind. Yeah. I thought that can't happen to you if you get verified. I mean, I just assumed it couldn't happen to Nicki Minaj because she's like so astronomically famous. Yeah.

Like what would she have to do to get truly canceled? Yeah. I mean, yeah, kind of. She's kind of in the clear. Yeah. She can't say the N word and get canceled. What if she went on an anti-Semitic rant? I mean, I think she'd make it out alive because she's made a lot of juice in the music industry

a lot of money. But yeah. I don't know. Okay. I'm sympathetic. Happy Yom Kippur, by the way. Yeah. Thanks.

Shana Tovah, Anna. I'm Shana Tovah, Dasha. I was just telling you before we pressed record that I don't know anything about Jewish holidays. I don't know what the hierarchy of importance is. I don't know what the significance of each particular holiday is. I know that there's some horrible plague locust stuff on Passover, but I know that because of you. Yes.

Because you told me about it. Because you asked me which one is the plague I said Passover. Yeah. And Yom Kippur is a day of atonement. Okay. Where you fast. Yeah. Okay.

Don't threaten me with a good time. I know. Well, actually a friend of the pod, Ava, who modeled our merchandise, she's pretty hot. Incredibly hot, but also a very good Jewish girl, very devout. And so she wanted to observe Yom Kippur. Maybe I shouldn't. I don't think this is like a personal story. I hope not.

I'll check in with her. I don't think it is. Well, so she asked a rabbi. I just thought it was very interesting that she asked a rabbi what to do if she like, if fasting wasn't like, because you're supposed to be afflicted, it's a day of penance, you know? Yeah. Everyone fasts like to suffer.

That's ridiculous. Jews are afflicted 365 days a year. They don't need a special holiday. Exactly. Every day is Yom Kippur. But so she asked a rabbi like, what should I do if like fasting isn't afflicting me. Yeah. If I enjoy it.

Yeah. And they said you should eat three meals a day and three snacks. Ouch. Ouch. You have to pay penance. I would kill myself if I had to eat three meals a day and three snacks. You've got to notch all day long, but that's the only way that God forgives you, I guess. That's so cool.

And writes your name in the book or whatever. You see, this is why Jews are, this is why Irish people are funnier, but Jews are the superior race at the end of the day, because they come up with like litigious and convoluted. Exactly. It's so contractual. Workarounds for everything. Exactly. It's like impossible, you know, you can't get, you can't get around them.

Yeah. There's always like, there are like born lawyers, which is why so many of them are literal lawyers. That's why the Torah is so important. Yeah. Because we read it and talk about what it means and talk and talk. Yeah. It's really like litigious, good word for it.

Yeah. It's not even, growing up, my mom would be like, well, you know, Judaism is the superior Abrahamic religion because there's skepticism and questioning baked into the cake. And I was thinking like, yeah, but it's not enough. It's that it's a particularly aggressive and persistent brand of skepticism, aka litigiousness. Like they have to break everything apart, which again is why their humor suffers because it's too solipsistic and too concerned with the particular reality of their being. Yeah.

But in that way, I think many Jewish comics and artists are also very gifted in that they can like. Yeah, totally. Speak to some universal through that still. It's just, yeah, it's, it's a different, it's interesting because both Jews and Irish have like self-loathing. Yes. But the ways in which they, they're, they're different.

Is are very significant and meaningful. Yeah. Exactly. I'm always, I'm trying to think like, who are the top three funny, funniest races? It's clearly Jews, blacks and Irish, but not necessarily in that order. Um, yeah, for sure, 100%. And then Italians are like a far, a far fourth, but there are a lot of like famous, if not great Italian comics.

Like who? Uh, Microsine. Yeah. No, he is funny. Sure. Yeah, just they don't, the Irish don't stick out in my mind immediately, but you're, I mean, I mean, Italians. Yeah.

But you're right. You're right. They're, they're up there somewhere. Um, anyway, they're a little too sensual to be as funny as like Irish people, you know? Yeah. They're, they're a little too dumb. Yeah. I was being polite.

Yeah. What I really love about the Italians is that they're like not that bright, but they're also very, um, they're clever and they're lyrical. Yes. They're artistic. They understand beauty. A hundred percent. A nice pasta, a nice hourglass.

I can't wait to get back to Italy. Honestly. Yeah. I had such a great time there. Loved getting groped. Cuomo should go into standup now that his political career is over. Interesting. He can be like an unironic, nor McDonald's.

Like doing dad jokes with his like weird nipple piercing. I watched a lot of his like COVID transmissions and did find him like, definitely not funny, but weirdly kind of charming. Yeah. He has like, uh, you know, I'm a Cuomo sexual if you give me a, I mean, he's just like, there's no contest. He's so much more likable than Bill de Blasio. And I don't even like Cuomo that much.

Yeah. And I hate Chris Cuomo. I kind of like Chris Cuomo. I'm a Mario Cuomo girl. Okay. Classic. Yeah. Classic.

Um. Anyway. Talk about the McAllen. I've been dreading this moment. Me too. I have so, such extensive notes, but it was actually so painful to, to make them. I logged on to the Vogue slideshow of Met Gala looks and was like 182 looks. I didn't even, 182 people attended the Met Gala.

It's probably way more actually. Yeah. I mean, that's a lot. And it's too many. It's too many. And like as predicted, it was a bunch of like literally who astroturfed as celebrities who no one's ever heard of. And Jane Levy's son.

Yeah. Dan. Levy. Who's, he's, he was on Roseanne, right? Or no. Am I mixing him up as a child? Hold on. Let's, I'm going to fact check this, but in the meantime, yeah, it was like a bunch of

literally who select like fake celebs and then like gender warrior, like political athletes. Like the worst people that you see Simone Biles's dress, by the way. Yeah. It weighed 88 pounds. What? She weighs 88 pounds. Exactly. And like people weren't really talking about her fit because it was really trash.

It was really bad. I mean, I think she looked like a bedazzled job of the hut. She looked horrible and it was so heavy. And it aged her and also shortened her. It was terrible. Yeah. And what's just symbolically even to burden her with, after she's already been through so much with her mental health in the Olympics to put her on, like that's, I'm like, girl,

why did you go? Cause I've been thinking, cause I, if I was Simone Biles, I would never fucking go. If I can't handle the pressure of like, you know, my celebrity and the Olympics and like, I would not be like, oh, the cool, the Met Gala is inviting me, I can collab with like, she was dressed by someone so brand, it's a brand called area, area combined with Athleta, who's one of her like sponsors to make like this horrible travesty of a dress that is so heavy. That's literally burdening her.

Yeah. It's like an Emma Salkowitz mattress of a dress that she has to like carry through life to remind her fucking fame ways and get out there and like parade it for us. You know, it's like, oh, it was something about it was so morbid to me. I couldn't deal with it. Well, it's just like literally what the Met Gala this year was about, which is like white liberals salivating over like the, the weight and burden of the oppression, both contemporary and ancestral of like minority athletes.

It was like Naomi Osaka was there in some like quasi Japanese get up. Like she looked like Bjork on that one album cover. And then like, I mean, the Williams sisters, of course, because they're bona fide celebrities. Yes. I think Serena looked beautiful. I thought Venus looked like a. I have to log lgbt like Big Bird or something. It was like one of those like big feathery capes.

Oh no. But like, remember that like, um, Democratic can take cloth moment? The Met Gala had that energy about it. Big time. Yeah. This season, I was going to say this semester, but there was so many like the AOC thing, which we'll get to obviously, but that was like people being like, um, oh, you're just like jealous because you, you're not there.

And I was like, why would I honestly don't think I would go to the Met Gala ever even if I achieved some level of prominence where I was invited. I think it would make me really tired and sad and no part of me, yeah, wants to make this bizarre spectacle of myself and then have didn't like, I would go to the Oscars. I would go to like, you know, but the Met Gala is the most like cynical random, like it just doesn't mean anything anymore. Yeah. And that's why it's full of like YouTube celebs and literally who's.

Yeah. And I think arguably back in the day, it also didn't mean anything, but at least people looked great. Yeah. And it was aspirational. Yeah. And now it's like they're, they're letting like YouTube streamers, somebody made a joke that like next year, Hassan Piker and Brianna Joy Gray are going to be like attending the

Met Gala. And I was like, yes, this is where it's going. Totally. Like ContraPoints. I could see that. On the red carpet. I could see that happening. Yeah.

I mean, like literally unironically and, um, yeah, and everybody just like look, like it was the MTV awards and music awards, like, like straight up like vaccinistas with like reusable tote bags. And then it's a, and you know, we'll, we'll get to this too, but like as Glenn Greenwald pointed out, among many others, this is the most blatant and egregious in a chain of such events featuring like celebrities and wealthy donors partying it up maskless while the help stands around totally masked and carries like they're the train trains and I could, I would never be invited to the Met Gala.

Never say never. I'm like too old and on the wrong side of history, but I would, I would work as a caterer at the Met Gala in my podcasting career, but, um, but basically like, I like imagine being one of these celebrities, like I really could never, I don't think I could ever put myself in the position just like morally spiritually could not go there where there are little masked minions holding the train of my dress. I know. Like, I've said this before on the pod, but like, I don't even like going to like stores

where employees are masked or like coffee shops and stuff. Yeah. They offer customer service, but like even worse than finding yourself in a subordinate position is finding yourself in a dominant position. That's even more morally sickening. I agree. And like nauseating. Yeah.

We have to like lure it over. People order them around where you have a team of people who like does your hair and makeup, um, having been in, you know, I can count them on my hand, but like little photo shoot and fashion show scenarios. I always like just like I truly low that experience of like people fussing over you. It makes me want to die. Yeah. It's like a spiritual death.

I mean, it is there. People fuss over me a lot in my line of work. That's true. Yeah. But they're doing their job, you know, no, they are. And I'm sure actually that you are probably very gracious and friendly with them. But they're not my slaves, like, and the Met Gala is ultimately about like, um, publicity you know, it's like a PR event because the tickets are so expensive.

So they're like sponsored by and they were more expensive this year than ever. Right. And they, it didn't happen last year because of COVID. Oh yeah. I guess not. Should they should have made the theme coven 19. They should have really like, come on. It's right there and, um, Mika tweeted this, but I agree is that they should like Alex Jones

should have been there. They should invite people across the political spectrum. It would be more interesting. Yeah. Yes. Hosbola. Hosbola. Alex Jones.

Lana Del Rey. Yeah. What? Menchus Moldbug. Camp Pot. No, but they should, you know, I don't know. Clint Eastwood. Yeah.

Wait. I had the same thought. Where is Clint Eastwood? He's not invited because he's a weird, like, deplorable. He has a black wife and he's into vaccination. He made a documentary about jazz. Yeah. But he's done like some other stuff since then, I guess.

Is Clint Maga? Um, I don't know if he's Maga. I think he kind of has, where's Paul Schrader? I mean, they're both like 93. Yeah. Yeah. We're like, let's get more old men than that gala. 1130.

That's the theme. Just a bunch of old guys suck each other off. The theme of next year's Macgallan's lemon party and we've only invited the oldest celebs to suck and feel it. Only old white men allowed. Yeah. And they have to, but they have to suck each other off. To get to go.

You need to show proof of vaccination, two negative COVID tests, and you have to blow everybody else in like a human centipede style. Yeah. Situation. Why? Why aren't Hassan Piker and Vauche at the Macgalla? It was so funny. By the way, watching.

I could see Hassan Piker at the Macgallan. Yeah. And his like little tax the rich or whatever make the rich pay. God damn it. Like paint splatter Williamsburg. Submediate of tugs. I love when you say media. It's true.

It's true. Yeah. Shaving off that beard to show off those gels. Um, let's see. Oh, um, well, no one followed the theme at all, obviously. Some people did. No, that's not true. I went through all 182 looks.

Two people follow the theme. A$AP Rocky. Wait, how is he American? I guess he's like, he and Rihanna went as Charmin Bears. They're wearing, they're like, yeah, the quilt, the quilt, it's nothing more American than that. I think Rihanna is pregnant. Was my thinking because she didn't disrobe and they've been dating for all they seem

really in love. I love that she wore that beanie. Yeah. Yeah. Great. They looked really good to me. I think the quilt he was wearing, oh my God, I hope she's pregnant. I hope she gives birth to a Pisces baby.

Oh my God, that would be crazy. And like A$AP Rockies baby and they would be really beautiful, really amazing baby. Anyway, I'm not, yeah, I'm not Perez Hilton up in here. I just was like, I saw her and I was like, interesting. Yeah. No, that's a great call. I think she's looking maybe knocked up. I think you nailed it.

Yeah. She would, a beautiful woman like that, not show off her body. And I have to say like, to Kim Kardashian's credit, she and Erica Badou did white and black Sharia respectively, like they hid their faces. Kim Kardashian is so shockingly vain. She puts other Armenians such as myself to shame. I'm surprised she went for it and didn't show her face. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. I, that's making a statement about the American occupation of Afghanistan and the return of the Taliban. I mean, it is, I don't know, something about it feels like too late. You know? Well, it's uncool because she's trying to compensate for like overcompensate in the

aftermath of Kanye by being overly stylish. Kanye dressed her was my assumption because I seems like he's still a sort of lording aesthetic control over her life. And you know, she did the whole Berka thing at his album release. And I think she still feels very like, um, her identity is still feels very tethered to his, you know, because she doesn't really have a strong sense of identity, which is why her outfit is interesting for a lot of, you know, there's a, you could write a really great like MFA fucking, yeah, paper about like the void and celebrity and like notoriety

and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Natasha Stagg could write a good essay about that, but it's probably beneath her at this point. She could. Yeah. Like obscuring and yeah, like that, you know, like the red bouncy aga boot thing that was

really good, but like a sharia law. And Natasha could really do something good with it. She should. I would, I would commission her if I was an editor of something to write that would maybe be because of my observations about it are seem very surface besides like, it just seems too late. Like it's the sort of thing that would have been a successful stunt. Maybe like, I don't even know, like eight, 10 years ago.

Yeah, something like that. I mean, and in the context, the whole vibe of the Met Gala is so chintzy and like in a way I respect her for hiding her face because it's like shameful to be there. Well, yeah, but it's, it's just weird and out of character for her, but I agree with you, but it does feel like her look sort of, I don't know, epitomized to me that like shame up because when people were like, you're just jealous of AMC because you wish you were at the Met Gala. I was like, no, the thought of attending the Met Gala, like I empathically tried to imagine

myself there and I'd be like, who the fuck would I talk to? I'd be like, you'd probably go insane. Yeah. Like I'd probably get really scared and feel really empty and like afraid and bad, like looking at all these like, I don't know, what I always do about it. I don't know. Which is like get wasted with the staff. Yeah.

I would have to like smoke weed beforehand and then I'd be all like confused. And I just, yeah, I don't. But Pharrell and Maluma were on theme because they wore very Wild West inspired looks. Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez. She loves a dramatic hat. She looked great actually. She looked pretty.

And she did follow the theme. And wore an American designer. She was Ralph Lauren, right? Yeah. Lord wore Bodie, which is an American brand and like kind of, it looked good. She looked fine. Well, so did Leon Bridges. I noticed that he also wore Bodie and he looked fantastic.

Yeah. I have no idea who Leon Bridges is, but he looked great. I loved. Yeah. That was Bodie as well. Yeah. Um, but even yeah, okay, where was Marc Jacobs? No one wore Marc Jacobs.

Undergoing a transition. I don't know. I walked past. There's a new Marc Jacobs storefront in Soho and I walked past it and was very disappointed because I rate Marc Jacobs highly as a designer. I actually think he's a good designer. Uh, that is moments. Definitely.

And he's another like a famous doppelganger. So I scan. However, he would, all he was selling was like athleisure. Hmm. Like splashed, you know, splattered with the Marc Jacobs logo and it's just like literally everybody does athleisure now. This is so boring and depressing. Like you invented the grunge look where you co-opted it, but you effectively, functionally

invented it for like a mass audience, the grunge thing. Which grunge thing? Like Marc Jacobs. He had the famous runway show in like 92. And now he's doing this throwback, like teen angst, like I did, um, through no agency did like a selfie campaign for Marc Jacobs and they sent me like a PDF of like stuff that I could have like sent to me and yeah, it was like t-shirts that said like teen angst and stuff.

And I was like, I'm not going to model this like I'm like 30 years old. Yeah. Your tax the rich moment. Exactly. Yeah. I'm just, I'm a teen on a shirt. I'm in high school. God.

Yeah. Where was he? That's a good question. I think maybe here's another bit of unsubstantiated gossip I have. I think that him and Anna Wintour are maybe on the outs. On the outs. Okay. That's just.

Because she's transphobic. Yeah. Um. There. She's definitely not. Bitch. Anna Wintour. Bitch.

My, my thing is also people used to always gush about Anna Wintour style and I always thought she had the most gross and annoying like Ms. Havasham dusty ass style. It was like that calcified Bob and that kind of like Manolo ladies who lunch duster jacket thing that I hate. I shouldn't be talking about but I mean, I know, but there's just no denying it. Yeah. I respect Vogue. So I can shit talk.

I don't really. I mean, God, I guess if I'm being honest, I don't really, I don't really respect Vogue either. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing to respect. It's like, I remember being like 21 or something or 16 reading Vogue and like, they could turn it around and not at this point probably, but yeah, I think that the Met Gala is never going to be every year, it gets more like vague and dystopian and like just a parody

of like, yeah, this elite spectacle. And then the elites are getting worse and worse. Yeah. I mean, there is something really disgusting. It's like the emperor's new clothes. Like there is something like really gross about elites frolicking while the help stands by. And it's not okay.

Like to be fair, most of the help, it's not like we're talking about well taken care of there. I mean, they're like editorial assistants and interns are not like Uber eats like Senegalese people or anything. Oh, no, no, no, but it's still kind of like dystopian and depressing. Yeah. I mean, it all is, but we should go through the best looks, the most annoying looks. I remember a year ago, this time Paul was teaching us how to pronounce Lou Avae.

I know. And I never forgot it. I haven't either. Um, so that was, um, the son of Eugene Levy, Dan Levy, God, he looked horrible. Like what is that look? Like how do you rationalize that look when you're walking out of the door and you like snap a selfie and look at yourself in the mirror as a man, one of the definitely maybe worse for me.

Probably the worst look of the whole night. He was like, that was bad, but that wasn't as bad as Dan Levy look like an abortion. Yeah. I see what she did. She's making a political statement dressing like a little portion to draw attention. And Timothée Chalamet looked like the pad that they used to soak up the excess, the clotting, mixing designers. Um, but Dan Levy, he looked like one of those, um, like fake cakes that they use.

Yeah, I'm looking this guy up. This is not adding up. I'm so sure this is the first time I've ever seen him or heard of him and he's on the cat walk wearing to Norm Macdonald. He's 38 walked. So you should run. He's on Schitt's Creek. Yeah.

Um, which I don't watch, so I don't know if I don't know him. Why did I think he was on Rosie? He hosted SNL last year. Okay. Okay. I guess he's like a big star. I mean, that's major. Do you think I'd ever host SNL?

Totally. I think you could do it. I think Lauren Michaels should burn in hell. Uh, well, you know, Lauren Michaels is an old man. I feel like the, the, is Lauren Michael still producing SNL? Yeah. Yeah. He's very old though.

Um, I was like making Eli look at Matt Gallup pictures and he was like complaining about how nobody was un-themed and I was like trying to like ham and ha and justify. Um, I could kind of, the theme is so meaningless in their defense that you could kind of really warp anything into like America. Yeah. Like, ah, it's America. I think, but I think why wasn't Lana Del Ray there? That's the big question.

Cause she is like America personify. She probably doesn't want to go because she legitimately has a fraught relationship to her celebrity. She just got off social media. So she's too fat and self-conscious. She doesn't want, she doesn't want the spectacle. Yeah. I get it.

You know, which I respect her form. But Eli was like, these people hate America. And I was like, you know what, you're right. They do hate America. I think people have this impression of our relationship that I'm just like droning on about like neoliberalism and critical race theory and he's like, uh, sitting there twiddling his thumbs, but usually it's him being like, these people hate American Israel and I'm just like, no, no, no.

Well, you said a long time ago that your boyfriend should be older, richer and more conservative than you. And that's really the recipe for a successful relationship. And so, yeah, of course. Yeah. But you should have a more conservative. Sometimes I'm, sometimes I feel like a woke person cause I'm scandalized, but some of the shit he'd be saying, I'm just like, that's not, it's too harsh, way harsh.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'm going to Brandy Melville tomorrow and getting that Boston athletics. You simply must. You simply must. Um, if I ever went to the Met Gala, if I was ever invited, which I would never be, I would just wear brandy. I would wear brandy.

I would wear head to toe brandy. I would also wear head to toe brandy. Like that. St. Moritz tee, but like in a kind of PC early 2000s, sweat dress thing. Ooh. With like a boost. Yeah. Yes.

I love that. I see that for you. For me, I would just, what would I do? I don't know. Um, like a swastika bodysuit. Well, I would, I would follow the theme. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the fun. That's the whole fun part of it. It's like, that's the constraint that makes it enjoyable. Yeah. Exactly. You don't get to just like wear whatever the fuck. Maybe they'll do grunge. Yeah.

Wait. I think they've done that already. Like. Oh, okay. But grunge is kind of different. Camp was a good theme and they just totally botched it and seems like some people did camp this year and some people were still doing like heavenly bodies from two, three years.

Yeah. Like Hunter Schaefer. Exactly. Yeah. I saw lots of like ornamentation and like. I'm on with the halo. Yeah. What was that?

That was heavenly. What does that have to do with America? I don't know. Besides America's. Yeah. America's. Absolutely nothing. Lupita Nyong'o or the, one of the only people who are denim.

Oh. And she looked like a kind of wild west wench prostitute from like a saloon. Like denim bodycon like long. Yeah. Very Sergio Leone. Yeah. I mean, Zoe Kravitz. That's my favorite look of the whole night.

She's so fucking hot. She's so hot. I have a polemic about the Zoe Kravitz thing. because it's a good polemic. I think she's so beautiful and I think she pulled it off and my mom actually DM'd me and my sister and was like,

Zoe Kravitz the only beautiful female celebrity who's not mentally ill. And I was like, wow, that's an interesting take. I mean, I don't know. I actually have no opinion on that. We have no idea what's going on with her personally. But yeah, she has a dignity. Yes.

And about her, that is very hot for sure. But that dress, it was Saint Laurent, which I can't pronounce, but whatever. Beautiful dress. I really love the look. And I think she really nailed it because she wore like a rhinestone crystal song with the look.

And the thing that I hate, hate, hate about the see-through dresses is when they wear the nude like commando panty. I hate that. It makes it look so dumpy and it like immediately cheapens it. Did Kendall do that? I think so.

Kendall looked really pretty though. Yeah, she looked like a pretty princess, but I think she had like a nude thong. And it's like, I know, I understand you can't go without one, but you gotta get that nullification surgery. So the... I mean, Zoe just looked so fantastic.

I just, I think the thong was the little, this was the cherry on top that like really like tied together the whole outfit. And like, remember that look that Rihanna wore to like the CFDA awards several years ago? It was like a crystal see-through dress with the durag with the fur bow, I think. Like that look was really good.

Yeah. And I think she also had like a matching thong and not like a nude thong. That's my polemic. I heard, I'm hearing you, yeah. Just think on that for a moment. But that was my overwhelming favorite look of the night, Zoe.

Yeah, Zoe was up there for me. Um, Kaia Gerber I liked. I love that too. It was very pretty. And I liked, yeah, how broad her shoulders looked. I'm not being, I'm actually saying that. Like she had her silhouette was very beautiful.

Nice. And I like how she held her hands. Yes. Kind of like up below the corset and this like very like dignified and elegant body. And it was like a reference to like the older thing. You know, I was like, Oh, Kaia Gerber really stepping up.

She looked great. Yeah. I've always found her to be like kind of whatever. Me too, yeah. Because of Cindy Crawford obviously. But when I saw her at the Maccala, I was kind of like, Me too. I had the same thought.

I was like, you really, All right. Turned up. Yeah. Yeah, I thought she was really beautiful. Cause she's not doing like a Cindy Crawford like wind blown like sporty supermodel thing. She's doing like an Audrey Hepburn.

People were comparing her to Bianca Jagger cause they wore like a similar dress, but I think it's more Audrey Hepburn. No, it was very, it's, I think it's like, it's almost exactly the same dress that Bianca Jagger wore. And I liked the,

like the bodice and the kind of slightly slutty see-through boob and that thing. Yeah. Very low. But it wasn't raunchy. Very interesting. I liked the Iman Hamam vintage Versace star thing. It was very like stripper and showgirl.

She looked cute. A showgirl is like an appropriate look. American thing. Yeah. What did you feel about the Gigi Hadid Prada look with the gloves? That was the kind of like futuristic Jessica Rabbit. I felt like it was almost there,

but there was something, it was too much, like overdone. Megan Fox did a weird bang. So did Kristen Stewart. Did these kind of like Blade Runner bangs? I hated. Everybody was like, yes, Megan Fox. Megan Fox is like the last seriously beautiful actress

left in Hollywood, like in a slutty old Hollywood way, but the clip on bangs were horrible. Like people have to like stop confusing beauty with style. They're not the same thing. Yeah. And like Megan Fox has a total absence of style. Completely never has.

Like she's, she always looks bad, no matter what she does in spite of being like an 11 out of 10. Yeah. Stunning. Yeah. But the bangs were horrible. She looked like she was like a Bushwick sex worker like this. They were clunky.

Yeah. They did not have good like shape to them. I just like she looks like she works at pumps and cries about white men on the internet. And the dress itself was also very ugly and trashy. Yeah. It was bad. Yeah.

Bad, bad, bad. Billie Eilish, what do you think of Billie Eilish? She wore that big like beige pink gown. She did like a Marilyn Monroe thing. I liked it. I was okay with it. It was a little, I mean there's something always off about Billie Eilish,

but I like her more than most people. I really liked the dress. I really liked the color of it actually. I thought it was a really special muted tone. Yeah. And it drew the eye in an interesting way, but her hair looked really nice. Her hair is bad, yeah.

It looked wiggy in the wrong way and not like whiten, I don't know. She, the makeup, the hair and makeup needed to be a little tweaked. Yeah. That's a fair assessment. It's hardly the worst look of the night. It was like somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.

Middle. Yeah. Yeah, people were really gushing about it. Did you see Jeremy O'Harris in doing Tommy Hilfiger? Aliyah? Yes. I thought it was clever.

Wait, what was the premise? He wore like a Tommy Hilfiger, like yellow, like long capy jacket. Okay. That was like sort of reckoning back to like, in Aliyah moment. Okay. Like Aliyah, the ill-fated R&B singer.

Yeah, yeah. There's a picture of her wearing like. And I thought that was like nice. That's fine. You know. I'm on the, Jeremy O'Harris freaks me out. I'm on the fence about that guy. I'm gonna say that right here.

I know this is like maybe not. It's okay. I think, I feel like he's. What freaks you out about him? I mean, he's scary. I think he's not an honest actor. And I didn't like that. Well, I'm scared cause he's gonna like, you know.

I can edit this part out. No, you can. It just, cause he does get messy on Twitter. And he's like dragged us before, you know, and then it was like, it's not you. It's the culture around the podcast. Yeah, I don't like that. That was bad faith and dishonest.

And he and I both know that. Of course. Yeah. And if I ever, you know, see him in the street, I will be nothing but polite. Of course. But you know my position, I'm a little tipsy. And like, I'm like Roseanne.

Well, he's, yeah. In her macadamia farm or whatever. Yeah, you're on ambient right now. Like you're gonna start. In a golf cart. Sings slurs, yeah. But this is my personal problem, but I've just always been freaked out

by like these kind of like liberal cultural elites. I just think they're all around. All of them are dishonest and phonies. And until like the burden of proof is on them until they can prove to me otherwise. But you look cute. You, I won't call him that. Yeah, well, you have to make a lot of compromises

to be truly elite, I think. Not saying that he, I don't know, you know, what it's been like for him, but I also think when you receive a lot of praise, when you're very young at the game, it's very challenging. Yeah, it's very challenging to like have any integrity and to operate within that ecosystem

without angering the kind of people who propped you up if you want to do something of your own. And you're all trying to, we're talking very abstractly now, I guess, but you're, everyone's trying to just like capitalize on the resources that are like. That they are like scarier to, yeah. Yeah, I get it.

I also like truth be told in all honesty, I commend anybody who's done anything with themselves. That's commendable. Also, you know, if he has a J store login that he wants to give me, I will retract all of my negative comments. Yeah. Anyway.

Well, he did go to Yale, so. Yeah. Anyway. Anything. Sips, Rosé, well, I was saving it, but I guess we can just get into it. Cara, Delevingne's, Peg, the Patriarchy, Dior. Oh, okay.

So, okay. In addition to AOC, there were multiple other people wearing. Slogans. Like over the top on the nose slogans. Yeah. There was also the other Congresswoman. What was her name?

Sorry. I just wanted to say Sienna Miller looked fantastic. Yeah, she looks great. I don't know who this is, bitch. She's like in her third, like late thirties, maybe. She looks fantastic. She looked pretty good. She's a beautiful girl.

I want her beautiful girl. I want the hammered Moroccan belts to come back. Yes. Yes. I just, I feel like that's gonna come back next year. You're calling it now. Yeah.

It's, yeah. As Maralda Gypsy Corp. Yeah, yeah. Gypsy Corp is coming back. And I think that girl's fan would look great in one. I feel like she should be the one to bring it back. Yeah, she wears those low rise pants already. So she can really draw attention to her pants.

I think that look should come back. I'm not gonna be the one to bring it back. Anyway, Sienna Miller looked beautiful. What was that, like Chanel or something? Gucci. Gucci, okay. Just radiant. Yeah, she looked great.

And she was like, I just like love and celebrate a generic conventional conservative dress or talks. Totally. Like I thought Channing Tatum looked pretty good. A lot of men. He has that low IQ squint, but he looked very handsome and like not gay.

I bet he's very deep. Yeah. You know, I bet he doesn't have like book smarts, but I bet he has, he's very emotionally intelligent. Yeah, sure, maybe. He's an actor, yeah. He has access to some like emotional core, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Why would Zoey Kravitz be with him if he was just some idiot? That's true. She really has her head screwed on straight. Yeah, okay. I don't know. Let's see, who else? Oh, Cara Delevingne in a peg the patriarchy corset.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said, may I quote her? Yeah, yeah. Can you do it? And she said, if someone doesn't know what this means, you're going to have to look it up. It's about women. I don't know how to say empowerment in a cockney accent.

Empowerment, gender equality. It's a bit like, stick it to the man. Cara Delevingne said in a statement about her. I'm a lesbian. I'm pickpocket. Pickpocket. I'm a rung monster. The patriarch.

Pickpocket, the patriarchy. Pickpocket, the patriarchy. I saw some guys on Twitter looking up, by which I mean they went on Wikipedia, looking up Cara's parentage. And she comes from like a Sir James Goldsmith S, British aristocratic, but Jewish family. So she's like rich as hell.

She's like a literal noble. But she's like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I'm like a literal noble in as much as Jews can be nobles. But I think she has some titles in her family, et cetera. But I was like, she has the chaviest face of any high-born person I've ever seen. She looks like Brooklyn Beckham. Yeah.

She does. I've always found her a scent to be surprising. So that doesn't, that sort of confirms. No, it's not surprising at all. She's just like from money. She's from the upper echelons. There was no scent. She just like kind of landed in place.

Yeah, right. And her sister is Poppy Delevingne, who's like older, but used to be like a kind of like fashion blogger girl. Poppy is such a one-percenter name. Yeah, it is. Totally. It's like Pippa. Pookey.

Yeah. Yeah. They're like, it doesn't matter. We can name you something so stupid, because you're never going to have to worry about money. Yeah, exactly. So I'll name you Pookey. So Cara Delevingne, I like, I mean, just,

I don't need to, what is there to say? And so it's so heinous. I think we made fun of Cara Delevingne. With Paul? Yeah. Yeah, we did. We all did our own concomitant. I mean, she's, it's embarrassing.

Yeah, every time, every time I think of Cara Delevingne, the song Food Glorious Food plays in my mind. I'm sticking my tongue out. Sorry, I'm just being a little silly, a little goof, a little different. Well, I'm not like all the models. So when I look. I'm a clam crusher.

I was googling Peg the Patriarchy before I came over here, and I read a BuzzFeed article from the woman who claims to have coined the term Peg the Patriarchy, who is like a queer women, women of color of some sort, who runs like a, it was like, she runs like a BDSM workshop. She's kind of some like Instagram, kink merchandise grifter, who, yeah, was like, I think selling stuff that said like Peg the Patriarchy on it,

like pencil cases, and she like shilling this like crap, or whatever like we do on BreadScareMerch.com. Just a guess. BreadScareMerch.com. If you haven't gotten a pair of our socks or toe bags yet, we don't have any advertisers, so you have to buy our merchandise. What was I saying? This woman who coined the term Peg the Patriarchy.

Let me get my phone, because I took a screenshot of her statement about it. And in her statement, she put a trademark sign behind Peg the Patriarchy. OK. She's like a fashion dole as all. Exactly. I think, yeah.

She said, while I'm giddy that Peg the Patriarchy trademark symbol made it to the Met Gala at Car Delveen, tried to pull it off as their own. No credit to me, the creator and owner of the trademark. This happens to small artists all the time, so much so that I have an assistant whose job includes finding and tracing people, printing and selling Peg the Patriarchy.

Remember that as a fat queer POC, I'm working twice as hard just to do what I'm already amazing at. From censorship to patriarchy to racism, all biz barriers specific to my social location. Enter sex shop co-owner at Met Gala with a custom designed vest with Peg the Patriarchy on it. What's grossest for me is the media interviews, with Cara blatantly owning it as if it wasn't already owned.

Sound familiar? Then in, like, asterisks? Coughs in colonialism? She said it was appropriation in colonialism, basically. I coined Peg the Patriarchy in 2015. Peg the Patriarchy is about subversion, not about an anal sex act and not about men. It's a metaphor for subverting the system that requires

subservience with an agenda binary. I have met so many cool people through this art over the past five years. It has brought me joy, livelihood, giggles, hate, and connection, a pretty good mixed bag. Giggles, hate, and connection? That's such a chaotic string of words. You can support me by buying my art at pegthepatriarchy.com,

continuing to share in hashtag, hashtag Peg the Patriarchy, and mentioning me where you see the Met Gala pic. Thank you for making it easier to protect my piece by feeling like I belong in a community with you. Wait, this bitch has an assistant that trolls the internet for any mention of Peg the Patriarchy? Isn't that crazy? That's crazy.

But I guess she coined it. Yeah, but. So Dior did steal it. It's not something, so get your bag, girl, but. What? What? But what are you people even talking about? Like, what a fat, queer, bi, what is she talking about?

Like, all these people do is like panhandle on the internet. It's like, ask for credit. By trademarking phrases and printing cheaply made merchandise that says it on them. And selling it to people. Selling it to liberals who are, it's just so. At least I never try to sue somebody who stole one of our designs. Well, we steal our designs from other people.

I know, but. Not the ISIS design, which is available in Redbubble. Yeah, well, of course, yeah. It's really hard to sue Redbubble, I think. Yeah, but I would never like ask for credit. Like, please take anything. Fuck off. Yeah, I don't give a shit.

But if you're hawking, peg the patriarchy mugs, and then you see it on the Met Gala carpet on Cardelvie, and you probably will want some part of compensation. But I mean, it's also possible you're not the only person to come up with peg the patriarchy. It's like literally not that. But what does Cardelvie know about pegging anyway? She's a lesbian.

Well, lesbians. It's not called pegging if lesbians do it. But it's the same mechanical process, right? She's also a totally fake lesbian, and it's not a lesbian at all. And by the time she hits 35, she's going to be having a baby just like every other affluent white woman.

I wonder if she's pegged somebody. Probably. Yeah, but in an awkward and performative way. I mean, how else is that? What other way is there to do it? Yeah, that's true, I guess. You're literally putting on a deal. I would never ever do something like that

for all the simps out there. Don't get your fucking hopes up, OK? And that thing, it literally looked like a fucking anti-natalist baby carrier in that it was empty, but it has like a suicide vest. It was literally like a suicide vest. It was a very nihilistic garment all around, yeah. It hideous and bad.

And I hate a kind of white pleated pant. It just looks cheap. You look like an Aldo employee. Yeah, yeah. And well, it does that thing that confused liberals to do all the time where they get their wires crossed and do homophobia on accident when they were talking about Trump and Putin are probably having anal sex with each other.

It's so disgusting. It's like in Peg the Patriarchy is also like, yeah, wouldn't it be so fucked up if we fucked men in the ass instead? It's like, ah. And it's like all of these people, too. It's funny because they literally, they have to believe that all of these gay rights and women's rights

battles that have been long one and that they had nothing to do with are still raging so that to avoid. Wasn't Dan Levy's thing about like marriage equality or they have like two guys kissing on it? It was like, and it was something about like AIDS or like. Yeah, it's like uncontroversial, incontestable stuff that's already, everybody agrees with even conservatives. Yeah.

That's been in circulation for at least a decade and they're like fighting for it as if they're like on the front lines of some like Afghanistan style battle. And it's like, they have to believe that to avoid confronting that they're the problem. They have to believe that America is a giant red state. And Carol Levine's not even American. This bitch is British and from like an affluent,

like not beyond affluent from like an aristocratic family. Right, right, right. It's like the bitch who designed AOC's dress who's literally married to a Bronfman. She's an immigrant POC, Anna. Yeah. An immigrant woman.

Yeah. OK, so should we get into AOC? Yeah. We can, who was the woman? There was also the woman with the sashes that said like both her women. She's also a congressperson or something? Yeah, she's a congresswamin.

Wamin, yeah, she. Huma Abedin looked cute, surprisingly. Oh, let me see. I find her to be very beautiful. I do not. Really? Yeah. I know a lot of men who find her attractive

and I'm always shocked by it because she seems like very dry and turgid. Yeah, I mean, I don't find her to be like sexy. She's sculpt, statue-esque. But she is like dignified. Yeah, but the dress is. Yeah, the dress is not bad. It's like the TJ Max version or like the Nordstrom Rack

version of like a Gwyneth Paltrow dress. Yeah, I hate it somehow, but it's like it's the Anna Miller. Oh, yeah, very cute. Yeah, what a cutie. OK, should we get into the? Yeah, let's talk about AOC's dress. Dress, joke, dress. AOC wore a white strapless gown that said,

tax the rich on the back. People were mad about the back. I was mad about the front. The tuxedo double-breasted pocket thing. The dress was so fuggly. It was just a fuggly-ass dress. It was chick-filet font. Everyone was right.

Yeah, it looked like dog shit. And the dress was ugly. And at the end of the day, that's the worst thing about it. OK, here's my hottest take ever that I will get canceled for. It's worse than what I said about Michelle Obama. It's worse than what I said about women having autism. I think AOC looked pretty. I think she looked cute.

I disagree. You have to keep in mind that all female politicians have bad style. So we can't appraise her on her style because it's not her fault. It goes without saying that she's going to have shitty style. And also, she's in a room full of the most beautiful women ever, like the top models, like Irina Shake, who, by the way,

looked like she was wearing a fashion Nova Alibaba-esque dress. There was a lot of very chintzy looks. Yeah. She, that dress looked like shit. But anyway, nonetheless, an AOC measured up pretty well. She didn't look insanely out of place or bad. I think she looked actually cute.

It's just the dress itself was hideous and corny. And also, a lot of people were saying they felt betrayed. That's crazy. By the statement, it reminded me of the convo that we had on last episode about the show The Activist, which has now been retooled from a competition show to a documentary series. Not too interested anymore.

Sorry. Exactly. I was very gutted because I was looking for a draw. Tank your show. Yeah. But that show was basically, again, saying the quiet part loud, like activism is already essentially commodified and performative.

So that show was not doing anything particularly horrible by making a competition show out of. I was excited to tune in. And the same with socialism. Like it's already a purely aesthetic larp. One of the criticisms that you hear the most when you deign to criticize AOC is that, while your critique is purely aesthetic,

you've said nothing substantive or material about her political involvement or political action. It's like, well, there's nothing material or substantive about her politics. She's purely aesthetic. She's an avatar. She's a vector. She's literally.

She's proposed some bills. Yeah, like once in a while, sure. But she's already like. What about the Green New Deal? I forgot about that. What about all the great work she did on the Green New Deal? Yeah. And unlike not being present when important bills were

coming up and like, you know, like. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what she gets up to. Politics actually, like, I think a lot of people get, think politics is like what's going on on the internet. But really politics is like partly that. It definitely like the aesthetic realm. But I think there's so much that like people do in DC

and so many weird meetings and shit that they think. Yeah, do all this like to actually do politics. Yeah. And so I think she's, yeah, she's like introducing bills and ostensibly. I don't know. But she does nothing. She exists to inflame people.

She makes conservatives a horny and angry. And she makes liberals horny and enthused. Like she does nothing of any material worth or weight or substance. And she's a purely, you know, democratic player. And she, you know, it's like also AOC walked so Cory Bush could run as predicted. She unleashed a new generation of even more repugnant female

politicians that literally make you miss Hillary Clinton. Who at least was like above board in her nefariousness. That bitch. Yeah, that, that. Boop. Damn. And so like her wearing some corny-ass dress to a corny-ass event is not at all.

No, no, no. Yeah, that's like, I was surprised to see like everybody on Twitter was melting down at how horrible and treacherous this was. And then everybody on Instagram was like, well, actually, I like the dress and she didn't wear it. It's a bold display of feminism. There was, yeah, then there was like backlash to that

because everyone had the initial response was obviously one of like repulsion. Yeah. Because to wear something like that at the Met Gala, there's the cognitive dissonance is like, you know, impactful. So the first wave, I think, of like response was people being like, you know, and then people

started like kind of warping and defending and being like, well, she's, and then she posted something where she was like, look how much Google searches have gone up for tax the rich. Like because people were looking up her dress. Like then she had to like double down in this sick way where she, you know, made it about like women like her and like how she's being policed and like criticized all the time and like for a woman of like a POC woman in politics, blah,

blah, blah, blah. Yeah. We're too drunk to do hardening. We're too drunk to do political analysis. Yeah, she claimed that she was somehow like creating and citing political commentary by breaking the fourth wall, as she said, to like evoke inner fear. She broke the glass ceiling and all the shards

shattered on her head. And she was left bleeding. But I think if she really thought it was a innocuous thing to do, she wouldn't have doubled down so much on it. Right. I mean, there's two options. She knows what she's doing is all I'm saying. Either you attend and you wear an austere LBD

or you don't attend if you have any integrity as a politician. Like I don't think politicians should be going to the Met Gala. No. The one criticism of a OC to her credit that I really don't like is when people are like, well, she's wearing like a $5,000 dress to $35,000, whatever. It doesn't occur to them that if you're

like a celebrity that these things are paid for, you don't pay a cent of your own money, of course. The problem is that politicians shouldn't be celebrities. And that's essentially all they are. And AOC more than anybody else other than Donald Trump is responsible for that in this day and age. I mean, Don was really the first to do it. Yeah, he was the first to do it.

But she wouldn't exist without Don. No, completely. Yeah, she's courting the same. Yeah, so like you fuck your Peg the Patriarchy bullshit because. Peg the Patriarchy. This new generation of like POC whammin' politicians exist thanks to Trump.

And all they do is whip up votes for the Democratic Party. They are Democratic establishment. They're like in the belly of the beast. Yeah, yeah. No, of course, she's a foot soldier for the Democratic Party. Her like fake mythology about being an underprivileged woman of color bartender, it's all a lie. It was a lie from the jump.

And the point is like, again, not to malign AOC as like a person or I'm sure like a bunch of people are going to, after this, well, Anne is just shell sort of, we're talking about politics and this woman. Well, we're talking about aesthetics. Yeah, but as they relate to politics, which is mostly what politics is. But we're talking about what has happened to politics,

which is that it's like a purely aesthetic game. I've come around to Steve Bannon's view, which is that she is incredibly savvy. Well, he's so obsessed with power, of course, he would recognize it. Well, she's energetic and tenacious. I mean that in the meanest way possible. And she is a stupid person's idea of a smart person.

Is she? And that's who thrives and prospers. Yeah. I mean, she just gives off such theater kid energy. Yeah, but this is the thing with. It's not even like intelligence. It's this kind of like performative, enthusiastic, like she's hitting like the emotional notes.

Yeah, it's like. It's percussity, but this is what appeals to affluent white liberals, because they are afraid of actual POCs like Nicki Minaj, who are like unmanageable and don't play by their own rules. Right. But, you know, as far as the AOC look went, I feel like people will be disappointed by my view of it,

which is, again, that she looked pretty. She looked like she belonged there. It was fine. She definitely looked like she belonged there. I do think the dress was just truly an abomination. And just the, I don't know, it should have just been a little black, I would have, a little black dress. Yeah.

And I wasn't even going to, I wasn't even going to chime in. I wasn't even going to say anything. Did you chime in? Yeah, because then she used that little sociopathic emoji that has the little hands, like, at the end of the statement that she made. Let me find it. She said, before haters get wild,

flying off the handle, New York elected officials are routinely invited to and attend the Met due to our responsibilities overseeing and supporting the city's cultural institutions for the public. I was one of several in attendance this evening. And then this little blushing emoji with the hands out. Yeah. And that really made me sick.

So then I just had a sickening emoji. I mean, but it's crazy. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, I saw that. No, that's good. That's true. It's like, it's crazy also what cultural events. It's like, New York is culturally guided.

Go back to the office, bitch. I don't want you at cultural events. You're my congressperson. I didn't elect you to go to the Met. I mean, I didn't elect you when I went on fucking vote, I didn't elect you to go to the Met Gala for me. Yeah, I mean, it's a crazy bitch. You crazy bitch.

Sorry. It's just that Norm MacDonald spirit. Yeah, I feel like Norm MacDonald just feels good to call a woman a bitch. It just does. I mean, I concur. Just feels good. We can move on from AOC.

We can, yeah. What did you think of Lil Nas X? The look I thought was cool, like the tripartite nesting doll. My favorite look was the middle look, which was like the night look, the armor. Yeah. What did you think? I like the first look.

They were sort of the queen look. Yeah. Yeah. Totally has nothing to do with the theme whatsoever. I couldn't even, I can't do enough gymnastics mentally to justify it. But I liked, at least he did look like a little prince. Like if you are going to parade around in front of people,

and like, I like when there's no trace of false, weird, humility at least. That's why Rihanna is always so good at it too, because she really is like, yes, I'm like royalty. And you're here to look at me and like, cast your eyes. And so like when he was all bundled up in that like princely little get up, I thought that was, I liked that.

And then the second one I liked too, the armor. The armor, yeah, was my favorite. And then the third was whatever. But it's about the performance, I think, of like, he couldn't just do two. Yeah. No, two would have been weird. But the armor reminded me of Chloe 70's Halloween costume

from like, I don't know, 2005 or 2010, which was like my favorite Halloween costume of all time. It was Joan of Arc carrying a Walkman, because it was like a Smith's tribute. Oh my god. And it was really good. And I feel like nobody got it. It's a really good.

But it was like, yeah. I haven't seen, yeah, I've seen those pics, but that's brilliant. Yeah, it was a really, really good Halloween costume. I listened to that song when I went to Sacre Corp in Paris. I was really like vibing out of control. But yeah, I think that the whole like sweet trinity of looks was Versace, right? Yeah.

Versace may as well be American. Yeah, they may as well be. They're tacky and uniquely American. They're Russian, American, and Italian all over. Yeah, at the same, like cool. Unlike Philippe Plein, which is Belgian and Russian. Spiritually, I don't know what Philippe Plein is, he's French. But yeah, I just like, I have a bone

to pick with Lil Nas X too, because like, I really, I have to break my silence. I really want to like him. But he has this like spiteful, woke energy, like of a person who hates you for liking him. There's something that is off about that guy. And I really wanted to like him, because I think Old Town. I know that you like him, and I know this is like.

No, it's OK. A shitty opinion, whatever. But like, I feel like the Old Town road thing was like super cool and inventive. And when he came out as gay, it was super cool. But now I think he's just like. Wish he was straight. No, he's like a vindictive little wraith.

There's something like mean and hostile about his energy. I can't quite put my finger on. Yeah, I can understand what you're saying. I think he's, he has a chip on his shoulder, because I think he is, it's, Doja Cat has a similar thing, I think, where it's like. And the reason I like Lil Nas X, and I like his music, I'll be interested to hear his album,

and I'll listen to it objectively. You know, I'm not like, I'm not a fanatic. I don't have like the level of reverence that I do for him, that I do for like Lana, where I'm like, great, another spoken word poetry album. Of course, I'm here for it. He's just a very like abrupt star, I think, who has like a shitposting pass.

I think he's just, he's very new to celebrity, and he's reacting to it very like viciously. You know, I think things happened for him very quickly after Old Town Road. And so I think that it could be, yeah, vindictiveness, but it is a kind of like, he is pursuing celebrity with this kind of bite that is weird. He's a beautiful and talented young person.

Mostly I like him because I think he's gorgeous. Yeah, he's a very handsome, again, like not a talented young man. The problem is that he feel like, I think you're right, he got catapulted from being a shitposter into being like an A-list celeb, maybe an A-list. I mean, it happened, no, no, no. I think it was, it was kind of, it wasn't,

because he hasn't really had like another hit until recently. Yeah, and he hasn't proven himself. He hasn't made the album yet. It remains to be seen whether he can and there's probably a lot of pressure on him. But I will say, I think Jeremy O'Hare has also a lot of pressure on him after a slave play and that's why he also has this kind of like aggressive

like energy. Well, no, I can tell you exactly what it is. It's that you are catapulted into this position and you are tokenized and you resent these people who want to use you and tokenize you and then you resent yourself for caving to it. So you lash out at others. It's a lot of like, it's a lot of self-hatred.

It's like, you know, I read this piece that I, that's all up in my stories by Steph and March about like Sally Rooney and her cohort of writers and it's the same thing where they kind of distance themselves from this position that they craved, that they then earned or didn't earn and realized that it was actually hollow and meaningless. Well, I read, I did read that piece.

And I think it's a fair critique of Sally Rooney, but of her, but of her novel, because I read her new one or whatever. And it's like, I don't think she's like a genius or anything, but I think it's like a totally serviceable good novel. But the art that piece you posted did this thing where it conflated like the character in the novel with Sally Rooney.

Yes. Which I don't think it's unfair because she does do that, but I think you, if you read it kind of without conflating those two things, it's not like, I think, yeah, the insights that that character has are interesting. I mean, it's not, it's just, it's a novel, you know? It's like.

Yeah, but I think there's a lot of young. It does its job. I don't think it's like a masterpiece or anything. Yeah, no, I haven't read it and I will give it a shot. But like, actually, I wonder if I like have that quote that like really spoke to me. Also, I want to talk about Elliot Page. Obviously, we have to do that.

Okay. Yeah. Like the slouchy suit and big sneakers. Bizarre. I have a take on that, but I don't know if I feel like unleashing it. I wonder if I can find this is it. But for these writers, they want to say

what they are expected to say. I thought that was beautiful. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like all of these young millennial writers, artists, whatever are rewarded for playing by the rules, essentially. Yeah. I think the rules for Sally Rooney are like having a tumultuous

relationship with her own success. Yeah. Or like. But I think she's obviously a lot more nuanced and sophisticated and smarter than her characters. Her characters are like, sure, facsimile, simulacra, whatever. I'm sorry to use those $10 words. But like, they're very like dissociated.

I think that when you're not right with yourself, like when you set out on a path and then you allow yourself to be gradually co-opted by these forces, you really do start to hate yourself. And again, it's very hard to look at yourself in the mirror and be like, my God, I hate what I've become. So you have to lash out at other people. Totally.

And I think that that's partly what's going on. And I say this, like not in a mean or critical way, but that kind of subjectivity is in the novel. So I think it describes sort of that condition actually well. Yeah, sure. I mean, I will read the novel and see for myself. It's fine. It's totally good.

Like I was like, I'm enjoying this. But it's like, I mean, she writes books for like lonely women. Young women, yeah. No, no, I understand like her. But this is another thing that I thought about. And it's like you read like a Sally Rooney or a Tessa Mosh fag novel and not because you want to transcend yourself or feel sublime, but because you want to be reminded of yourself.

Like these are not transcendent authors. And then that gets into like this whole other critique that I'm too drunk to articulate about like the purpose and function of art and how it's changed. But that recently, I mean, I would say, I mean, we're definitely way too drunk. We're too drunk to get into book club stuff. But we should read the book and talk about it.

Yeah, let's do that. We should burn some books. Let's burn the book on them. On the pod. Fuck, I forgot what I was going to say. It's OK. I totally forgot what I was going to say, too. Oh, no, I was going to say, OK, that there's

been like that's why I read like Anna Karenina or House of Merth. Like there have been these like it's not. It's just that there now this type of book has become exceptionally popular because probably because media is and marketing and everything is like a very effeminate profession and culture in general as we say all the time is becoming more effeminate.

So they're just more like prominent, I guess. But there's always been that genre. Yeah, I think. And lots of it is like canon. I mean, bell jar. Yeah, you know, the awakening. It all goes on and on like these like sad girl novels are like timeless in a way.

I think I don't know. People really seem to hate Sally Rooney for sure. I don't I don't hate her. That's another thing. It's like I feel like I'm such an old hag. I don't hate anybody. And I like I love people and I and especially young people. I like wish them the best.

Like I don't I'm not like I see that no. I know you're not like I don't like hate that she's successful. I like wish wish her personally like success and prosperity. And I think she's like it and whatever. But I find the kind of overarching narrative to be stifling and suffocating because everybody is constantly lying to themselves, you know, and we have to like pretend that certain things are like empowering and liberating

and whatever. Yeah. I'm just like David Hasselhoff right now, like drunk in a corner like eating a burger. We should really I mean, we've done an hour 45. So we can really. Yeah, we've been talking for a long time. All right, we can end on Elliot Page and speaking.

You said it, not me. I agree with you that like the whole culture is feminized, which is not a dig in any particular woman. And not at all. Someone else said really smartly that like, well, feminizing is psychologizing. Men don't really have a psychology. I mean, but also men invented psychology.

So the whole framework is is wrong. But women are more attracted to psychologizing. Yeah, they just have more. Yeah, like inner monologue. Yeah, exactly. But anyway, on that note, Elliot Page, that look. Just kind of, I think, confusing. Like I don't really understand why.

Yeah. Seems like infantilized. Yes, like a lost child. Yeah, like that's what's weird about it is it's very like childish. And Elliot Page, my dad called it when we went to go see Inception. He was like, that girl's a lesbian.

Wait, what? Because he could tell the way she was like shuffling around. And like she had this like masculine. Yeah, he was like, she's very boyish that actress. And I was like, that's crazy. Because yeah, she in Inception, she's like hustling around in little suits and stuff. And like, yeah, he was like, she seems.

So he called her a lesbian, but he meant like she's like masculine. But she is like, he is boyish. Yeah. I didn't mean to misgender. I was talking in the past tense in reference to Inception when Elliot Page wasn't he then. Also, if you were a boy, what would your name be? Maybe I'd like dash like that.

I do like a dash snow. Dash snow, like I'm crazy. I'm a crazy art guy and art bro now. And maybe I'll like that, like said something on fire. I'd become like a reckless art bro. And I'm like, dash. Yeah. Sick.

Yeah. Like a cool little mustache or something. Yeah, I'm into that. OK. I'd be a hot. I could be. I think I would be hot as a hot guy. I'd be a hot guy.

Yeah. I think you would look. You would be like a River Phoenix guy. Exactly. Exactly. Leather jacket. Totally. New jeans.

Totally. Yeah. Yeah, no, it was I was I was thinking about that look. And I was like, this is vagina, vagina, like Buck Angel. No, you're right. It was like a lost child look. And I was thinking like, oh my god, this is so manipulative. It's designed to make us feel like sorry for you,

which is a female trait. True. Yeah. And I felt really bad about myself for having that thought. But also much like how Kim's outfit underscored the overlying shame and her lack of identity around the context of the event and her costume and stuff. Yeah, that's beautiful.

I think Elliot Page also seems lost and is communicating that in an aesthetic way. People make these choices to dress themselves seemingly subconsciously, but they refer to, you know, there are a lot of like, a lot of looks at the Met Gala were a cry for help. They were, yeah. For sure.

There was, to quote a friend, there was a lot of pain on display at the Met Gala. I would not ever go to the Met Gala even if I wasn't invited, which I wouldn't ever be. I think I would have a nervous breakdown. Yeah. But if I did go, I would. Should I get a bob again?

Should I get a bang? Should I bang or not? Should I bang or not? And then I'd have like a meltdown. And I'd never recover from it. I would love to be like Mishima and commit Sipuku at the Met Gala. Beautiful.

That's the only way to go. Yeah. And then the blood would say tax the rich. But on the front, not the back. Yeah. The theme that year will be shame. Yeah, my fupa. Shame and honor.

See you in hell. Music playing.