Red Scare - Springtime Loveline w/ Dan Allegretto

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

Dan Allegretto is back to answer your burning love and sex questions. Subscribe to Dan's podcast here.

Okay. Testing, testing. Hello. Hello. Welcome to Red Scare, Dan Albrego. We're live, okay, it's great to be back. We're live. Thank you for having me.

Back. My favorite guest, honestly. Are we keeping a tally of- And I'm not just gassing you up. That's true. And the most requested guest. Wow. Eat your hearts out, Patrick Sandberg and Glenn Greenwald.

But are we keeping a tally of like the gay guys that have been on the- Some might, not me. It's probably like that right? It's not a contest. You guys are like neck and neck. I think Dan's been on the most. Well he does, he's the one that introduced us.

That's kind of true. Hell yeah. There would be no Red Spade. That's Spain. Without Dan Alagretto. Yeah, so. So blame him. Yeah. You're welcome.

Yeah, I remember I was with, I think if I remember correctly, I was with Anna at the now closed bar soft spot in Williamsburg and Dasha just moved to town. Yeah. I was like, this Russian whore is having people over. You might like each other. And the rest of the society.

What the fuck is this other Russian bitch? Yeah. Oh, nah, nah, nah. And now Donald Trump's the president. And also I was just thinking, because I was just in LA, and it's been 10 years since Dasha, you and I met for the first time in person.

In 2015, we met in LA. Oh my God, that's so sad. Dating the first guy I ever hooked up with in college. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, I was dating a bisexual guy. We were friends online before that on Twitter when I had like 86 followers. We really go back.

We really do. Yeah, we met up at some like, I feel like it was like a Frito pie restaurant. It was some like corny bar. Because you were in town for the art book fair. Wait, they have one too? I didn't go there for that reason, but I did end up at the art book fair.

Well, it was a scene. You couldn't miss it. I can't remember that at all though. Dan acts like he doesn't get out much, but he's always like jet-setting to LA to go to art book fair. I've been to LA three times in my life. And I really like LA now. Me too.

I can actually see myself there in a few years. I just remember your horror story of like burning all your clothes by accident. Yeah, I went that 2015 trip. My travel bag was like a Nike vinyl gym bag. And I know that people had heat in LA because it was in February and it was like, for me, it felt very hot.

So I left it on an open heater grate and I was sitting on the couch in a living room in Echo Park and my bag caught on fire and was smoldering and set off the fire alarm and it was melted plastic and all my clothes got burned. And I was living like a dog then and still. Still living like a dog. Not out of the dog house yet,

but all my good stuff got burned. And there was a white dashiki I had there. I was like, I'm like a white dashiki I had. I really wanted to bring this to the west coast and really mince around Echo Park Lake. Was there a marijuana thing back then? I don't think it was. I hadn't heard of it then, but I ate every breakfast there this last trip.

2015, I think maybe it was around, but I wasn't going there. I think I was going to Lassen's. Yeah. I went to LA with like $300 and no credit card. So I was like, who was hosting you? My friend, Signe. Oh, okay, right.

I remember her. She was like an early feminist artist. Yeah. And she was dating a woman at the time. Actually a really funny story. Okay, go off camera. One of my classic like dial down stories. I went to the Chateau Marmont for the first and only time.

And I think that I was like, you know, kind of not welcome at the table because it was like these men wanted like two hot blonde chicks to be sitting with them and then like I was tagging along. And I realized I was sitting next to the director of Girl Interrupted and I don't remember his name. That's okay.

But I was pretty drunk and I was like, you ever think about calling it Chica Interrupted? Yeah. And then he told me to leave. Yeah. Yeah. But like, come on, that's funny. Yeah, that's mad fun.

Do you find that funny? Yeah's funny. Yeah, that's mad fun. Do you find that funny? Oh, God. We're so old. I know. Oh my God. It's crazy. I'm assuming there's a lot of young listeners calling in today.

There's people. I was thinking about this because it's like really bad to have us offer advice. Cause we've like, yeah, we've like settled down, given up on our dreams and ambitions. Oh yeah. I mean, these deal with themes like that. There was some good calls. I feel like it's, there's a good swath of like different callers.

Having Dan is here is good. Yeah, well I'm drunk. I wish there was like a geriatric caller though. I'd love a geriatric caller, but I'm assuming it's gonna be mostly There's people who are 18 and they've been listening since they were 14. I know they're like in high school. Yeah Maybe the reach is too far. Yeah, you know like oh, yeah, I feel like a pedophile Like grooming children grooming a new generation. Yeah. of Demented Twinks and frantic skanks. Sometimes there's like tradwives

and weird Catholics that call into, it's like, it's fairly diverse. Yeah, sometimes you feel distinctly that you're being trolled. They don't really mean it. How many calls did you get in total? I'm just kind of curious. Maybe like 100.

Oh, that's not bad. I was gonna say 200. Maybe two, like I don't list. Our stock is down. On Google Voice, they give you a little transcript so you can see. And then if the transcript seems good, then I'll listen to it.

And then if their voice doesn't sound so bad, then I'll listen to all of it. But sometimes I'm immediately like, there was an interesting D transition, like ex trans person, but their phone kept cutting out. So I was like, this is- That's so trans though. Yeah, they didn't pay their cricket mobile bill.

They're just like, I'm waiting on invoices. Here's my GoFundMe. A lot of the people who call in do have distinctly trans coded voices, whether or not they're actually trans. Yeah, it's hard to tell who is gay or not, honestly. Yeah. Well, we'll get to the bottom of it, I think.

Yeah. Shall we? Should we just dive in? Yeah, let's do it. I don't have anything to say about much of this. Let's do it, yeah. Hey, Red Scare, I need help because I'm actually boy crazy I don't have anything to say about much of this. Let's do it. Yeah. Hey, Red Scare.

I need your help because I'm actually boy crazy and it's ruining my life. I have so many goals and dreams and aspirations, but it's hard for me to focus on anything. I'm literally 24-7 hours of the day. I'm thinking about my current talking stage of which there is always one. I'm running through guys watching in Healy's quiz. I don't know how to stop. Please help me, thank you. I called this one boy crazy Chica.

She's boy crazy and it's- Chica needs to be interrupted. Infrared on her hopes and dreams and aspirations. She's an intrigue addict. That's why she's always having a talking stage. I think she hasn't found that people aren't really that intriguing. Yeah, she sounds young.

She sounds young. I don't wanna like pathologize her and suggest like sex and love addicts anonymous, which is something I only learned about like two years ago basically. I was probably, when we met in 2015 learned about like two years ago. Basically. I was probably when we met in 2015 That's where I learned about intrigue addiction yeah, I mean I guess just keep spinning your wheels in the mud and you'll like

Maybe get out of the rut or I mean you'll just grow old Yeah, and you'll become fed up with people and their bullshit. And also being boy crazy is like a good inspiration from which to make art and follow your dreams. Yeah, I think you should use it to drive yourself forward. You should never like fight too hard against your natural state. Because then you're gonna become neurotic and you don't want that.

I get like a talking stage, you know, you're kind of your best self. What's a talking stage? It's like when you are talking to someone to see if you want to fuck them or date them. That can go on forever in this day and age. Yeah, but like, you know, the banter, you know, I feel like you are honing skills through like

running through math. Running through run game. And that'll serve you well. Yeah, she's developing social skills she might not know. It might help in her career. Yeah. If you know how to manipulate men, it could help in the workforce. If you learn how to manipulate men, life is like a free ride

because then you can manipulate gallerists and producers and creative director and whatever. I mean. You need to manipulate gallerists now because they don't have drinks at openings anymore. So you have to like know the gallerists and be like, can I get a fucking. Can I get a Modello?

I love a Gallo. Hey, I noticed you had a Modello. Back when we all started hanging out, Can I get a Modelo? Hey, I noticed you had a Modelo. Back when we all started hanging out, they had the dumpster full of PBRs. They don't even have that anymore. Recession indicator. There's no reason to leave the house anymore. Well, besides coming on Red Scare podcast.

Here's a good follow up on that. My question is more so for Dasha. She's been written much like me. How do you find love? Obviously I'm high, I'm slavik and blonde, but I hate leaving my fucking apart. I paid $3,000 for my mattress. I'm getting my mileage out of it. I'm just wondering, like is it possible

to find a rich, educated, well-read, non-Indian man from my bed? Let me know, love you guys. She sounds like Sherry O'Terran, that old SNL. When she was like, where did you run into Will Smith? Where did you run into him? And then Chris Farris is like, over the weekend, you stupid bitch.

You should consider getting your mental illness addressed before you find the love of your life. Also, I'm sorry. Any kind of love. 3K for a mattress, yes, it's a little pricey, but your first-year mattress is like $15,000. I thought she said a master's. No, no, her mattress.

Well, I understand now why she doesn't wanna leave her bed. My mattress costs $17,000. Oh, you can lowball that. Okay, wow. But I believe I got a little bit of a discount on it by being like. It was used. No, I wrote a really like,

the most annoying email I've ever written where I was like, I'm not a publicist, though I play one on HBO's succession. And I would love nothing more than to lie my head upon your exquisite mattress. And I thought they'd be like, here you go. But they were like, we'll give you like some percentage off if you like post about it. Yeah, I'm gonna squeeze a mattress. And I thought they'd be like, here you go. But they were like, we'll give you like some percentage off if you like post about it.

I'm gonna suck my life. Is it made out of tortured horses? No, no, no, no. I was thinking of like, didn't like Caitlin Phillips give you her old mattress. I was subletting her apartment and she had one. And so I started sleeping on it. And then I was like, well, I'm not just gonna get

a fucking Casper now. You can't go back to Casper, yeah. I just need this, I guess. But I remember when I was dating Mike Pepe, he had a Casper and it was so janky and weak and it just sagged on the side that he was on because he was a large and heavy man. I would just roll off.

I'm gonna push back on you on this. I've had two Caspers, one one I just kind of left behind. Like I like the normal one. And when I moved to Greenpoint seven years ago, I bought the like college freshmen, like they made like a really cheap one that's like kind of thin. I've had it for seven years and I'm, you know,

perhaps like a touch overweight. And it hasn't like- That's the slobber of you Dan, that you're sleeping on like the military bed. Yeah, it's it's it's you know, maybe Half the size of a normal mattress, but it hasn't like made a dent in Right like a twin it's full That's why there's not a second person in the, so it's just, yeah. That's why.

There's not a second person in the bed, so there's not an uneven distribution of weight. I do kind of rotate. I flip it around a few times for a couple years, but I'm telling you. Hastings comes and these guys come and put little booties on and jump up and down on them, flip it over and jump up and down on it for free for For every six, four, six months, they come and fluff it. Every four months? If I want. I have to like schedule it.

So I don't always. That seems like a job for Doge. I could do that job. That would be great. That's what you get. That's when you're paying top tier prices for a bed you're not leaving. If you're allergic to horses,

can you still get the horsehair bed? Who's allergic to horses? I think I am. Cause when I was like growing up in rural upstate New York, like my friend's mom had like a horse farm, but like riding horses where I grew up wasn't like, it is in like Westchester or like the Hamptons. It's like a little more podunk.

Like Yellowstone. But we were like playing like hide and go seek and my throat closed up and I had to like have my mom pick me up and like go use my grandma's inhaler. I thought I was gonna die. So maybe there's like a hay or, you know, I'm not sure I'm the market for a $17,000 mattress. I don't know.

Me neither. Okay, but I'm gonna bogart this question and give advice to this girl. Yeah, yeah. She's like, you need to leave the house. Just make a point. To find love. Yeah.

I don't know. It's actually really easy to find love if you leave the house. You know, I wish that people didn't wear headphones at the grocery store, because I, you know, yes, you can meet someone like at a bar or something, but I do feel like there should be a little bit of daytime

horniness and a little bit of fantasy. But everyone's wearing their fucking AirPods at Trader Joe's and I see a cute guy and I'm like, they're not. They're just listening to like- Red scare father. Red scare ass. They're listening to the Adam Friedland show. They are, listening to me being like, I went to LA once and I had a good time.

I like it there a lot. I think you don't have to get out of bed that much. You can find love online. Yeah. That you can, but you have to, you're right. You fundamentally do have to get out of bed a little bit. You just have to have the will to force yourself to take some initiative.

Yeah. And then everything will fall into place. And then you're gonna be sorely disappointed, but that's okay. Yeah, I mean, it's not gonna fall into place, but you do still need to get out there, regardless. And that's a good talking point with future men that you meet, because you can tell them that you have a $3,000 mattress

You can't get out of bed. You usually don't get out of bed. But when you do you're looking for love How often do you guys wash your sheets? That's a good question. You go first. Me? Yeah I'm not answering until you guys answer. I'm gonna be honest, like two months. That's not bad. Probably three. I don't know, I actually don't know. It's hard to strip your sheets.

Only if I only change my sheets if I think that someone might be coming over and then it ends up like not going well and then they never come over. So I'm like, well, I guess that's when I, every three months. Two weeks, but not the duvet, but the flat. And I change, sometimes I'll change the pillowcases

more often, because I'm acne prone. That's good of you. Miss Anna, what are you clocking in on? I don't change my sheets. She doesn't change her sheets, yeah. Well, I feel like women don't sweat the bed like. No. Yeah. Like I do. Well, I have a life partner.

Oh yeah. By the time this episode comes out, he'll be my husband. You're gonna be married. I got really excited today when there was like an email that came out kind of detailing the wedding. Oh yeah. And I heard, I saw the words,

pasta station. Yeah station and open bar. And I smiled for the first time in days. Since 2015. I can't wait to fall over on top of the pasta station. We're gonna be so drunk. The drinks are really stiff. I'm gonna keep drinking for a few days. I can't finish a martini there.

It's, they're strong. That's why I did the, because I'm not doing a dinner because no one likes it anyway. No, and people like to stand. But like a pasta station. We want to specialize in Dan's. Being seated at a table so like charity event or something

and like no one even wants to eat Dan's that they're wearing. I have one suit. It's a black Brooks Brothers suit that I got for 50% off at the Long Island Deer Park Tanger Outlet Malls a couple years ago. So it's good for weddings and funerals. And I went back again and bought a white button-up shirt

and a black tie. So I, and I'm gonna wear my Doc Martin Oxfords. They don't have yellow stitching, don't worry. I'm not worried. So you have to keep it real a little bit. But yeah, I'm gonna look my Doc Martin Oxfords. They don't have yellow stitching, don't worry. I'm not worried. So you have to keep it real a little bit. But yeah, I'll look like a limo driver, like I always do when I wear a suit. I always look like a fucking limo driver.

Like a silly, just kind of like bald. You're gonna look great. Skimming Lux Friedman. Yeah. Don't know who that is on top of my head, but I. You'd know him if you saw but I'm familiar with the name. You've seen his face. Yeah.

Okay. He's kind of hot. Eww, Anna. Again, I don't want to know what Dasha's wearing, but Anna, you're going to wear her wedding dress. Yeah, white. I'm just going to wear a white wedding dress. I already told you guys I might recycle my new criterion gala dress

Right. What is the new criterion? Is there an old criterion? No the new criterion is a conservative leaning magazine that was founded by two art critics Called roger kimball and james panero And they write books such as the rape of the masters and Speak in Purple Prose, but it's interesting and fun. We go every year. I just started thinking about Campbell's Soup in Panera Blast. Sorry. Happy for them.

Looks like a, you know, lush evening. It's a fact. I hope I go every, I hope they keep inviting me. It's, I love it. I love it. I can't say anything bad about it. I mean, I- I love a hot over, I hope they keep inviting me. It's, I love, I love. I can't say anything bad about them. I mean I. I love a hot meal, you know. It's that, when I saw The New Criterion

at my friend Janine's house, I said, what is this beautiful magazine? And she said, my dad sends me this subscription. And I said, I want to ingratiate myself. Never read it. With these people. But I own it. I crack it open sometimes. But last time I did, I got scared.

There was some article that quoted Camp of the Saints. And I got scared about migrants and really upset. So, love it to death. But it's beautiful. It's a nice object, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't read, so I don't have room. I like feeling like we're the youngest people there. Yeah, it does look like a bunch of old people. Yeah.

I saw one Asian woman in the crowd photo. It's an older crowd, so that's fun for us because we get to feel young. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna wait a sec. Are there any colognes that you guys like for men to wear on dates, thank you You don't want to hear my answer to that question. Why?

No, because I like disgusting cheap sons The little Drakkar noir which is hard nor are I wasir, that was what I was gonna go with, yeah. Do you like how I smell? Yeah. Just to- Very much, yeah. That's nice. It's calm. It's like, it's calm, yeah, of course.

To me it's like, equal parts like goth, nightclub, fog machine, and like church. It's my nighttime fragrance. It's kind of- I have a question. I like an oud, I like the calm my nighttime fragrance. It's kind of slutty and serious. I have a question. I like an oud. I like the calm wonder oud. And you can't go wrong with calm.

You can. I'm sick of the auvignon. That's the one that really sounds like a church. Yeah, I've had a sample of that. It reminds me of being an altar boy too much, but that's just my bad habit. It's really, yeah. Were you ever molested?

No, but I'm kind of mad I wasn't, because I was so beautiful. And my priest ran off with a 16-year-old girl when I was an altar boy and never came back. Well, at least he wasn't gay. Well, the Ukrainian, Dan is a Byzantine Catholic, much like myself. The Hutt has been trying to be me for years.

I know, I've copied Dan, actually. But dog has been trying to be me for years. I know, I've copied Dan actually. But their priests are allowed to be Dan. I'm not as new to this as I'm true to this. I mean, hopefully they'll find out eventually. I've been pounding the pavement for years with no recognition whatsoever. But they have married priests. Oh, okay.

In the Eastern right. So they're not gay. So they're not homos of Irish. Okay, so that's why you didn't get molested. I have married priests in the Eastern right. So they're not gay. So they're not homos like the Irish. So that's why you didn't get molested. Because there wasn't a drunk Irish celibate guy. Well, we only had one priest that was married my entire tenure.

I think I left the church quote unquote when I was 16-ish. I was like, I can't do this anymore. I'm trying to get fucked up on a Saturday night with my friends. I can't go to church. It's like seven in the morning. Yeah, to make it to fulfill the Sunday obligation. I get it.

I've been drinking wine since I was like seven years old. It was like a cube of bread on like a little tiny gold spoon. Yeah. And I was like an altar boy standing next to the priest with like the rapidea, the like metal. And I would just like look into every old person. The rapidea? The rapidea.

And I would just look into every elderly person's mouth. And I'm like, this is actually fucking disgusting. This is like the new criterion getting on. Yeah. Immigrants with like barely any teeth and lots of plaque. I think men also don't even need to wear cologne because we're all boy crazy and we like the natural body odor. Yeah, I agree with that.

If you like someone. I work for me. It gives me a little more pep in my step. It invigorates me a little bit. Same, same. It gives me a little more pep in my step. It kind of invigorates me a little bit. And makes me feel less like a slob. So we had this comedian on the last pod called Charles Carroll who's involved with MDE and he brought his wife and she said that spraying yourself

with perfume causes estrogen dominance, which I don't even know what that means, but it's bad. It's bad. Yeah, perfume is estrogenic allegedly, which I don't even know what that means, but it's bad. It's bad. Yeah. Perfume is estrogenic, allegedly, but we don't care. I don't. No, life is all about trade-offs, and it does really put a little pep in your step

and make you feel better about yourself. It makes me feel more presentable for the world. Professional. But I'm feeling like shit, that's why I'm wearing like a collared shirt today. I'm like, oh, so despondent and like miserable. I have to like put something on that makes me. Wait, Dan, what's your shoe today?

Not the Teva. No, they're the black dogmars and oxfords that I'm gonna wear to the wedding. Nice. I only have like one pair of shoes that doesn't smell like my feet. And I was like, you know what I have to take my shoes off? Cause the dog warrants are so like full of micro plastics

that they defy like human odor. Okay. Do one more and maybe. Hey, do you all think it's a red flag if a guy listens to Red Scare? Like would you date someone who was a listener? A gay guy? Kinda.

Yeah. Yeah. He's a gay boop. It's a red flag. Yeah, it's just like not, you know, I know men, straight men listen to the pod. God bless their hearts and souls. But it's too like, I think the listening experience for them must be like a little too like horny and they're probably attached to both of you. And so they're like, by nature, cheating on whoever they're dating by listening to the pod. If my, if there was another podcast like Red Scare and my boyfriend listened to it, it would piss me off.

I agree completely, yeah. So true, I've never even thought of that, but yes. I would def, I, yeah, I'd be so bitter. Yeah, you'd be like, why are you so parasocially invested in these other women who you don't even know and have nothing in common with? What's wrong with you? Even a casual listener, I'd be like, what are these?

Who wants to listen to women talking for two and two hours plus? There's something wrong. But on the flip side, we do be dispensing good life advice. So I feel like that any man who listens to the podcast really knows what he wants in a woman. I think a smart man would listen to the podcast

but not show his cards. He would use it strategically. Men are not that smart. This is what women think. To gain insight into the female psyche, but never telling anyone you listen to it, be like, oh, what's that? This is something we would do,

but that would not occur to men. Well, there's some advice. You guys are like Barstool sports fans. There's probably some crossover. I'm like, who is that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just know lots that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I just know lots of sports stats. What about a gay guy? That's fine. That's fine. It's different. The rules are different. Yeah. Yeah.

I would, if he's gay, I've encountered it often where gay guys are like, it's kind of like a secret, they're like, I listened to Retscare and I heard you on the pod. I'm like, oh, now I'm locking in because you get it. There's a frame that you can. And I'm open to like, I guess anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a certain edge you guys have.

I don't know if you knew that. Yeah. You might watch, ooh, watch out. So I do appreciate when the gay guys like, I don't like your hand skin, but not too, they can't like it too much. I'm just saying like a straight man should not wear perfume or cologne and he should not listen to podcasts, period, unless it's like Joe Rogan or something.

Men have podcasts. Yeah, they don't. They have like Theo Von. Yeah. Right. Maybe Jordan Peterson, but not even. I don't mind if they listen to like historical podcasts or nothing that's like entertaining. Harder made. If they're laughing at a podcast, I think it's gay. It's gay, yeah. You're gay.

It gives you the ick. I kind of think if, yeah. I actually think straight men who don't listen to Rogan are a little bit of a red flag. Now you're right, yeah. Cause it's kind of like, oh, what do you, you know, where do you get your information? True some esoteric source

Last one I only listened to Rogan because a man put me up to it in the car Like I would that's not a podcast that I'm naturally inclined to listen to as a woman No, I've only listened to the Miley Cyrus episode. Some of the UFO guys I like. He needs to get a dinosaur tooth around there. Well, you're looking at him right now. I think I know. No one. Joe, come on. You guys would get along. Yeah. But he loves the bones.

I think he's probably hostile to that position. He believes in dinosaurs. I would be willing to bet he does, yeah. I find that most people do. However, people have been wrong over the course of history about a lot of stuff. About everything. There's a new Jurassic Park movie coming out

and I saw the trailer for it and I was like, yup, I'm like, it's made up shit for kid. Like how do people think, like everything people think they know about dinosaurs? Charlie XCX. Some female. Oh Scarlett Johansson. And she's a little, she's like look, she plays like a kind of bulky character. Which is brave. So ScarJo's eaten good lately. I didn't see the trailer.

No, she doesn't look fat. She just looks like, you know, like she's got, she's like strong and she's willing to go into the dress. It's like that movie Civil War with a late career Kirsten Dunst where she looks unlike her usual self and people were commenting. Because she's like a weary, you know,

photographer journalist or whatever. I love that movie. I didn't see so long. I've never seen it. I mean, that was like a weary, you know, photographer, journalist or whatever. I love that movie. I didn't see it. I mean, I was like a kind of my perception was like a zombie movie, but like had like a tense like political edge. And most people were upset that it like didn't like take size. And it wasn't like, like, well, we don't know like what this is really about. And that's smart.

It's just like thrilling and like about. I'm like, it's actually not that smart. It's just thrilling and scary. And I loved it. I like that Kirsten Dunst looked like a normal person. But then she kind of got snatched right after that, I think. Yeah. Oh, Zambik was rolling out. And her husband too. Yeah, I'm sure she does.

She's gorgeous. I have never noticed them. Yeah. There are photos going around on the internet. You can see that online. And she has depression, which I always liked. I mean, you can tell. She was playing herself in melancholy.

She tapped into the- She had an AD home tour, and she was giving it to her house, which seems so morose. And I was like, I can love her more. Yeah. Yeah. I get served a lot of Kirsten Dunst content on Instagram.

It's like her in like a low rise skirt. Yeah. Like Jake Gyllenhaal smoking outside of like glassens or whatever. And you can really tell that she's leaning into the depression. She's one of us. She is. Yeah, really.

Yeah, we would all get along. Totally. Slavic excellence. OK. Dunst sounds like German. German. But I think she but she looks like OK, I'm going to spurg out. She looks like a Baltoid. She does. What's a Balto? Like someone that looks like a Baldwin family member. Baltec. A Baltic person. She does the back down. What's a balto? Like someone that looks like a Baldwin family member, but like, prince-hearted?

A Baltic person, yeah. Okay, got it. So I've been watching the Baldwin reality show. Her father is German from Hamburg, and her American mother is of German and Swedish descent, and she described herself in a 2001 interview as Aryan, like a Swedish milkmaid. She is.

Based. There we go. Self-described Aryan, Gersten Dunst. But I would so not be surprised like a Swedish milkmaid. She is. Based. Self-described Aryan, Gerson Dunst. But I would so not be surprised if she had some like Latvian or Lithuanian blood. Yeah. Just putting that out there. Cause she looks so Slavic. I bet she veers Central European.

Yeah. She might be Ruthenian even. Okay. Someone's phone is very loud. It's my computer. Oh Trump's texting me. Like Dasha, you're getting married. To offset the terrace I need five dollars. Okay. Hi ladies. My name is, well not going to give you my name, but long time listener, first time caller. I have a question for you about having a baby. Me and my husband have been together for eight years now. He's 32, I'm 27, and we want to have kids. But we have a little bit of confusion on it. I'm wanting to adopt because I think it's wrong for two gay people to create a baby through retro-fertilization without having a mother in his life. That's selfish and also I think it goes against God to create children in a tube. I just don't think it's natural and I'm also worried about the whole like having soul thing. He wants to do surrogacy

because where we live there's in Canada in our province 80 adoptions a year and that's a fairly limited number and those adopt are only like late term pregnancies from women who don't know. And they're coming from pretty awful situations. And yeah, long story short, he doesn't want to have a croc baby. Like, that's not. So, I'm sympathetic to that.

So what do we do here? Because we could do international adoption to the US, but that's like $100,000. And not that money's a problem. But like $100,000 for a kid, come on. We can't really adopt anywhere else because we're gay so like I could go to China and like with one of my girlfriends and like you know Secretly adopt the baby through there, but like Yeah, I don't know what to do

Love you guys. Lots. Please. Give me some good advice. Bye. Can't you just knock up one of your fag hugs? Just like get a pack of dogs to take care of Yeah, why is he opposed to surrogacy? It's I mean no I mean in like the tradition in that sense But like technically getting one of your gal pals, whatever is a type of surrogate Yeah, but then she's like kind of a de facto mother She's a mother. Can you imagine, but like that, imagine like the expectation that like a woman would just

like know that she's going to give birth and like not be attached to the baby and want to give it away. Like I don't think you can like expect that from someone. No, I know. That's why I'm such a surrogacy hater because it's so bizarre. Like if you carry a kid for nine months, like there's no way that you're not attached to it. And then you have to go back to your normal life, but like with a distended gut

and all these health problems from giving birth, but you don't even have the kid, like you don't get the payoff. There's gotta be some fag hag who'd be willing to do it and like be, who doesn't wanna be a full-time mother. But I don't even think he should have, he shouldn't even have kids because he's like pricing

the life of a child at $100,000. Well, money's not an issue. I know, but he's being so transactional about it. I'm a little old school in the sense that I forget that gay guys even have an intuition to have children. Yeah, what's that all about? I went to Provincetown last summer and I got out of the car

and next door there was like two affluent gay guys and they had two kids getting out of the car and next door there was two affluent gay guys and they had two kids getting out of their Audi station wagon. I was like, I almost clutched my pearls. I was like, wait, y'all are doing that? How do you even know? I just don't. Well, I don't know. I get it. I'm not condemning it totally, but I am always like.

Well, because they want. They want kids. Something, like people want something. Yeah, people have like a primal urge to replicate, but then adoption doesn't really solve for that. I'm surprised that gay guys have that. Cause I see like. But I'm also very like. The gamut of gay guy behavior is so decrepit and crazy.

I know. That like, the like baseline for gay guys that you're just like a fucking piece of meat slam pig. So when they're like advocating for their rights as parents, I'm like, oh, I kind of forgot. We're doing that. That's like the whole right wing talking point that like gay guys shouldn't have children

because they're all pedophiles who are grooming the kids into molestation. I don't even think it's that. Yeah, I don't think so either. It's not that. It's worse than that. It's not, they're not, they're not pedophiles. They're narcissists. They're narcissists. They're unfit to be parents. Or they might be

like too fit and then it's like helicopter vibes. Yeah but it's but on the other hand I don't know what advice to give this guy because on the other hand I think there's a lot of children who need parents and two dads is better than no parents. I think adoption would be the way to go. It's the most ethical. Canada only having 80 adoptions a year is since weird. But the thing with adoption is like you really, truly never know what you're gonna get

because everything is so genetic. Right, you might get an adult dwarf pretending to be a child. Isn't like, do you not get to meet the kid before you adopt it? No, of course you don't know what the kid, I mean, arguably if you even have the kid, biologically you don't know what the kid is gonna be like, but it's like a real crap shoot.

So it's like a thorny issue, how to advise gays. And they don't really let them foster. Can't you enjoy your friend's kids in a non-sexual manner? Sorry, that's not really a cut. Yeah, why not be the gay uncle? Again, get some dogs, cats, maybe barnyard animals. You could fuck those. Chickens, frogs.

They don't really care. I mean, one of you's, yeah, it's either adoption, which is the most ethical, one of you's, yeah, it's either adoption, which is the most ethical. One of you knocks up a willing female who's not financially coerced. Yeah. I would not go the surrogacy route. But also I do know gay guys who have like children

through surrogates and they seem like fine. It could be fine. I mean, if they have been in a relationship for eight years, that's all right. You know, they're already. Wait, now hold on. Let's do the math, because like the color was like. 27. 27.

They've been in a relationship for eight years. It was 19. Uh-oh. You are the child. You're being raised by. I mean, that's not a bad life for a kid. Having a nice, like, affluent, gay, two gay dads, cultured, you know, they'll have, they can live in New York City. They can have a nice life.

I'm going to be skewered. I want that for me now. I don't think that the vast majority of gay guys who wanna have a kid are pedophiles who are trying to groom their kid. That's obviously not true. That's, yeah, that's a fact. Yeah, no. I don't even think there's that much evidence.

You're right, he's gonna have a, or she is gonna have a great life. So why not, yeah, why not? If money's not an option, shell it out for, the shell out the $100,000 and make some kids' fucking dreams come true. Make a wish foundation. Get a nice Russian orphan and make-

Well, they're gonna get like a Chinese baby. Well, he was saying- They're gonna go to China and maybe try to find one. He was saying he would go with one of his female friends to pretend to be, because they don't hand Chinese babies out to gay people. Oh, right. But basically, it's so ethically fraught,

because no matter what you do, you lose. If you do the surrogacy, that's questionable. If you do adoption, that's questionable. There's no easy way for gay guys to reproduce. I think adoption, if you can afford it. Isn't adoption like, it's not free? No, it's extremely expensive. Why is it so expensive?

I thought there was like, trying to get these kids out because we're gambling with lives. Well, where are the money go? Where are the children physically at? To random Chinese people. Where are they adopted? Are they in an orphanage? Orphanage.

Yeah. But you do have to think of what your life is. If you're a Chinese kid who's plucked from poverty and given to two affluent gay men in New York City. Or Canada. Or Canada, true. You go to like little openings and happy hours and stuff and have a full-time nanny and probably a dog friend

that you grow up with. That's better than growing up in abject poverty. In Wuhan. Yeah. Yeah, just walk by Klando and wait for an unattended baby. And you can have my baby wet market. They probably have something. Get a bat.

Make a nice pangolin. Get a dire wall. They're literally cloning those now. But I know Dasha doesn't like the dire wolves. I have like the real. They're not dire wolves. They just look like dire wolves. Dire wolves surfaced in the northeast corner of Utah two years ago on Skinwalker Ranch. Excuse me?

Well, this is like. Did you hear this on a road? No, I watched the History Channel show, Secret of Skinwalker Ranch. Religiously, I think it's a fantastic show. So basically, there's a lot of Native American lore, and there's so much paranormal activity in every kind of different area you can imagine.

They've basically been testing. Why do they call it Skinwalker Ranch, just real quick? It's because the Ute tribe like calls these like shape shifting kind of shadowy figures like Skinwalkers. It goes back like hundreds of years. Oh, I have goosebumps. So I can go on and on for hours. Like in pertaining to dire wolves,

they're during the filming of this latest season, there was a dead wolf in a stream that had been like kind of like decomposing. And they noticed it was like much bigger than like wolves in the area by far. And they like took the jaw and they like this is all on the show. And by the way, when I Google like just this episode, like Candace, hey, again, out of the game. So they took the jaw to a scientist or whatever. And the jaw is so much like this part listeners can't see.

But it's twice the size of any normal wolf. Yeah, it's huge. OK, we haven't seen this type of jaw in 10,000 years. So it's like a prehistoric wolf. Yes. And so my thinking is that it kind of traversed. So it's like a prehistoric wolf. Yes, and so what my thinking is that it kind of traversed time. There's like a portal.

Yeah, I know it sounds a little out there. Okay, so you don't believe in dinosaurs, but you believe in time traveling wolves. That is correct. 100%. They're fake, I'm sorry, like the first dinosaur bone was discovered in like the late 1700s in like England You don't like the Maya Mayans Incas Aztecs. They're like digging into like the sides of mountains all the time

They didn't find a fucking bone. It's like there's bones but like big dinosaur is lying to you Yeah, like even if there is some truth to dinosaurs Like the charade the veil that's been pulled over our eyes That it doesn't It's it's all lies And you know once I I made like I started you know, this is like over ten years ago I was applying for like an art grant I was like I want to like make a one-minute video about yourself

I'm like I'm gonna pretend to be like a gay dinosaur truth or the first ever, I think. And it started off as kind of a joke, but then like every time I saw a news article, there was about like a new dinosaur thing. I'm like, hold on, this is actually so fucking fake and random and like quite frankly retarded that like, I can't get behind this. Maybe Donald Trump should take on big dinosaur next.

I hope so. Not to mention. You should gut that federal bureaucracy. I don't mention them in the Bible, so. If we took all the earnings from like Jurassic Park, we could probably fix this economy. Oh, so yeah, my last piece, just to circle back, is they should get these gay guys very high maintenance exotic pet, like a monkey.

A parrot or a monkey, okay, yeah. Or like an ocelot. That's not gonna be satisfying for them because they wanna mold somebody in their image. I think a monkey could be really good for them and like they can make content with the monkey. And you know, like- It might take them out of their province in Canada.

A monkey, just think about it. Cause like, what do you want a baby for? Well, have you guys seen the TikToks of like, you could have a monkey that goes on children's playgrounds. I was talking about this a few episodes back and it wears like a snow suit and goes down the slide, but it's super agile, it has superhuman strength. So you think it's a toddler, but it's actually a monkey.

Right. You've been drunk at the playground, accidentally taking a monkey out of the slide. Right. Like, oh, I have to go back now. I see the monkeys wearing clothes, yeah, and I'm... Yeah, you guys should have to go back now. I see the monkeys wearing clothes, yeah. Gay guys should have to start with a Komodo dragon. They can tame that and then they can like-

A python? Yeah, they have to have a very vicious wild animal and if they can pass that test, if they don't get mauled to death with their face clawed off, then you get a human baby. All gay guys should start life in prison. Yeah. Yeah, Kind of.

Until they can prove that they're. Yeah, we'd make prison too nice then it wouldn't be the same thing. That makes sense. Yeah. I've been watching that somebody like added me on that like old Lil Nas X song where he's like, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay.

And he's like in prison. Well. And it's so amazing. Why did we hate that? I didn't hear the song. I was hoping he was straight. Yeah, he's like beautiful. Thought he was handsome.

He's very beautiful. What happened to him? Well, he's still making music, but it just like really sucks. Well, his career started off with like Old Town Road, which is like such a... Such a banger. Brand, it's great, but it's so not,

where do you go from there? Yeah, he didn't know where to go. So he leaned into the heavily gay content, which was kind of like two on the nose. Then he was like, oh, I have to go be like the devil in a music video. You really don't, like don't have to insist on how gay you are, we get it.

Yeah. But I love that shot of all the naked, gay, black guys dancing in the prison shower. I liked, he had a song called Call Me By Your Name or whatever. Oh yeah, yeah. That was like pretty good. There's some decent imagery coming from him,

but musically I'm quite a little too old. Yeah. I was listening to Marvin Gaye a lot today because I just heard so many. Really? That's so interesting. Well, because I saw the Terrence Howard quote where he's like, I won't play Marvin Gaye in a movie because I won't.

Because I can't kiss him. Because I would cut my lips off and I'm like, I didn't really know Marvin Gaye was gay. Like honestly. Also, his name was. Nominative, determined. I know, he added the E to make his name less gay. But then also there's so many other things like I didn't know that his father

shot him to death. You didn't know that his father? No. That's like the Russian and Black. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Only Russians and Blacks. I didn't know that either. Wait, what is it? His dad shot him? His dad resentfully and jealously killed him. There was a family argument.

I think his dad was beating up his mom and Marvin got in the middle and then his dad shot him twice in the chest. He died. But his dad was a Christian minister who was also like a known cross dresser in I think Mississippi. I'm kind of just guessing,

but like I think it's down there somewhere. Which is shocking and a little funny. Wait, I assumed everybody knew this, but that's crazy. It is crazy that his own father. We don't know. I mean, can you, I think there's probably a lot of cocaine. And tensions are high.

Yeah, a lot of pressure. Yeah, and then you're like getting a fight and then you kill your son. You guys know, you know the famous painting by Ilya Repin of like Ivan the Terrible grasping his son after he killed him? You would know. If I saw it.

Yeah, you'd probably know. Not the Jupiter or whatever eating his son. No, no, not the Saturn. That's like Saturn. Right, totally. This is the lost time for me and Dasha don't know shit. But Anna, thank you for letting us. But it's actually, it's so crazy. I bet it feels so bad.

Yeah, yeah. I think I might maybe know. You guys know. But like, yeah, killing your own son who's more famous and successful than you is an insane thing to do Because why wouldn't you just like ride his coattails when Lenny starts a podcast of 44? Sorry, that's too dark. It was too dark. He's gonna kill me for this. It's late. We're drunk. It's just my child be wailing on me Oh, yeah, we like chipped a tooth recently, right? He chipped my tooth. He like beats the shit out of me He's a little tyrannical. He has a strong personality. Yeah, he does Aries. It's a good sign though

Yeah, it's good. It's a little life. Vitality exactly Yeah Should I play one? Yeah let's move on from the really sad story of Marvin Gaye getting killed by his son. with my boyfriend. We've been dating for a few years and I really love him and I wanna get married forever. I haven't been totally honest about my past yet and I do feel it way in on me. When I was younger, as the encouragement of some seedy fellows that I knew, I got into doing some sugar daddying stuff and it was mostly fine. I was just

going to dinners and lunch and like having you know fun conversations and getting money for it and I really did like talking to them. However, there were a few that I did sleep with in exchange for some more money. Considering optics, I am nervous about having this conversation with him. He is very smart and he's a really good listener, so I think it's gonna go okay. But there's always the potential that he is disgusted or put off by it.

It's also worth mentioning that while I was doing this, I was young and poor and on a ton of drugs and unless I'm forgetting about something it's probably the worst thing I've done in my life so that's kind of why I want to get it off my chest. So I'm just wondering what you think about me bringing this up to him and maybe how you would go about it. Also, other people in my life do know about this and so I want him to know that way like if it's ever randomly brought up he isn't blindsided or like he isn't hurt by the fact

that I didn't tell him. They don't know about,'t know about me having sex. They just know that I got paid to have lunch and dinner with these guys. So that is all, thank you, and I hope you guys are doing well, thanks. I'm gonna bogart this question and say, under no circumstances ever mention it to him.

Just keep it under wraps unless you're trying to blow up your future marriage. Or like- It's not a big deal. It's not worth mentioning. It's not that big of a deal. It's not worth mentioning if other people in your life or you lead with the like soft escorting.

Yeah. And if somebody says something to him. Then say, oh yeah, ha ha. I didn't think it was worth mentioning. And thankfully you found a man that doesn't listen to Red Scare podcast. Yeah. I hear this question.

I've already found a winner. I know people get mad at me because they're always like, oh, you're always examining other people's ulterior motives when there are none, but like, why would you ever want to bring that up to a man that you love and hope to marry? It's just not worth it. I think it's fine to know everything about someone.

Yeah, I'm sure. To me, when I was in Bushwick, going to Bushwick University, a lot of my girlfriends did this. It was always terrible. Everybody did it, yeah. They would have a dinner in Midtown before he got on the train back to Westchester.

That's really the thing is it's so ubiquitous. It's like, ooh. But she's been dating him for years and she hasn't thought to bring it up until now. Yeah. Just forget about it. So that leads me to wonder how invested, committed she is to the relationship.

Maybe she's trying to stir some drama, create some chaos. That's all I'm saying. That's what I think. That's my hunch here. Because otherwise you simply just like would not bring it up. Because it's not worth mentioning. Of course the fact, which I appreciate the calls,

but if you're gonna call into a radio show and talk about it, you don't feel that bad about it. Yeah, you don't. The things you feel really bad about, you don't talk about on the radio. You wouldn't ever mention, yeah. And you definitely don't tell your boyfriend and you just don't tell anyone.

Yeah, when you think about all the rumors that are flying about various people, it's like very clearly people keep the things that they want to keep concealed close to their chest. Nobody ever reveals the most embarrassing aspects of their lives, which is why Kanye's so brilliant for doing the whole like, I suck my cousins. Yeah. Incredible.

But I don't know if you have any future hopes for this relationship, if you hope to get married, if you have any sort of like long-term perspective, I would simply not bring it up and I would roll the die and risk other people maybe mentioning it to him. And then downplaying it. But she said no one even knows that she did. Yeah, so. Exactly.

Literally exchanged sex for money. Press the issue. Exactly. It's already kind of barely worth mentioning in the first place, I feel like. It's kind of like a given that like, I'm assuming she's like attractive and like, you know. Obviously, yeah.

But like you have to identify then what the real core issue is. Which is possibly that you feel smothered and stifled in the relationship. Exactly. That's my read on him. She can't be herself around her partner. Yeah. And if part of her does feel guilt for it,

then she needs to just move on. She needs to repent and let go of that. You can't live with this as part of your identity. You have to transcend it and just get over it. People don't understand like the essence of guilt. The whole point of guilt is that it's something that you live with and that you take on and that you cannot transfer onto other people because then it becomes shame and it becomes like a collective thing.

And obviously any man worth his while, if he finds out that his girlfriend was an escort who was literally having sex for money will not be down with that. I mean, I don't think that's true. I think again, it's so prevalent that you're hard pressed. And if she's like, you know, what if she's a great, she's probably got a great way. She's probably a great lay or like maybe she's a read thing where like she got married and had a baby and people were really bashing her and her husband. They were calling him a cock for like marrying the most famous porn star in the

world and being like a loser. And they were calling her a whore and whatever. I'm actually just like happy for them that they had a happy ending, but. Well, she still does porn. Oh, interesting. But I think in her case, there's a heterosexual female porn star, Dan, if you don't know.

I think I'm- She's very famous. I log onto New York Post and then TMZ and then Page Six every morning. And so I think I've seen her name in the tabloids. But I feel like with her she's like such a... She's achieved such great heights in her career that she's like not it's almost not even she's not having sex she's like she's transcended porn. She's an athlete She's like doing something else Well, it's like the whole like I think Chris Rock had a bit about a certain black athletes and celebrities transcend race Like Eddie Murphy or like Michael Jordan or something and she's like really one of those figures who transcends gender Yeah, she transcends like everything

But she's not the one that slept a thousand guys in one day. No, no, she's more, she has been around for a long time. Okay. Even in porn, there's a hierarchy of legitimacy. Yeah, well, okay, so there's two women that, I don't know their names, but they're kind of going toe to toe of- Lily Phillips and Bonnie Blue.

Yes, okay, thank you. I know this. Exactly. Yeah. Dasha and Anna are- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're trying to sleep with as many Jewish men in one thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's exactly like that, yeah. Okay, now I get it. Mm-hmm. Well, you know, I just think it's, I don't think that like, she's going to rock the boat that much. But like, unless, no, I think she will. There's so much more information that we don't really have. And it seems like she knows that it would rock the boat. But I personally don't think that like something like that in your deep path.

He's going to feel betrayed and devastated. Maybe he'll take her back, but it's going to be artsy and he doesn't care. Maybe they're in a Bohemian mill. You and that kind of thing is finance partner. Not. Yeah. If he was artsy, he would have, that's probably how we would have matched. Oh, actually no. Okay. No. Well she would have spilled the beans already. If he was, if she could sense that he was open to that she would have already told him. Mm-hmm These women be flapping they mouths

women yapping So I just personally wouldn't mention it even though there's now a record of you going on Red Scare podcast and revealing your previous escorting career. Okay, get married then, tell him. Yeah. Yeah. Just forget, what is it? Like, is it Don Draper says that I think on Mad Men? He says like, it'll shock you how much it never happened.

Sometimes you gotta just go Don Draper mode and, you know? You gotta forget about your dark and twisted past and you gotta forge forward. To air their darkest secrets. It's over. It's in the past, you've moved on. Thank God I don't remember most of my past. But also tell him, tell him now. Tell him now.

Let us know. Yeah, let us know. Call him up. Call us back. Call us back, we'll call him. Let us tell him. Okay. Hi, Anna and Doshra. I'm a 29 year old gay man who is politically moderate and generally what you would call a gay who doesn't play. Two years ago, I started a really gay work

from home job that has kind of ruined my life. Me starting this job seems to coincide with any dating prospects on Tinder or hinge to totally dry up. And I felt a very palpable stagnation in my social life, because I basically don't do anything that naturally exposes me to new people. I forced myself to conjure up hobbies, but it really just isn't me and it's gotten nowhere. I have approximately four friends who I love dearly. I'm privileged enough to live alone with my cat in a rank-controlled apartment that my

old teacher used to live in anyways. I recently have started to think that I should get a real job where I have to actually go work, but as pathetic as it is, a large motivation for me doing this other than to procure a higher salary, which is something I seriously need to do, is for me to make friends. Am I crazy to equate labor with a social and love life? How did you guys do it in the past? Anyways, I know this isn't the most direct question, but I thought it would trigger some interesting talking points. Maybe I'm wrong Other details. I'm generally okay looking uncut quite introvert and

Really hate non-binary people Thank you so much. Bye. What's the question? I can take this I think he like thinks getting a job is gonna somehow make him get friends and Romantic or sexual partners. There's nothing I'm sore. It's like not even like Fuck your co-worker boss anymore. It's like a little work at Trader Joe's where it's like illegal or something. Unless you work at Trader Joe's. My advice was like. Yeah, you should get a part-time job at Trader Joe's

to suck and fuck your coworkers. After work, you go to a gay bar for happy hour and like, gay guys are very social. You can like talk to people and meet them. It's like very easy. I made so many friends and lovers, quite frankly. In like the day, like the after, like the after work happy hour at a gay bar is

he doesn't even have a job this is great exactly that's what you're saying he's a work from home no i'm saying you oh yeah yeah i can wait till five to have a drink yeah even seven p.m sometimes it's wine o'clock uh yeah it's wine o'clock but it'clock. But it's so casual and so easy to just go to a gay bar. That's kind of what they're for. Yeah, they're literally like me. They're designed for them. Well, all the gay guys, like your friends are your lovers. No one's happy, no one's fulfilled.

You just gotta put yourself in the arena and see how it works out. And you can go with a friend or not. I just feel like Gabe our happy hour even for straight people. It's really easy to meet people at bars Totally in that position just get out there and do it get out of your horse Intro I get it Introvert, I get it. He's introverted. But it sounds like he's creating mountains of code.

That's also not true. No one's actually that introverted. No, no one is. No one's introverted. If you're introverted, you would never hear their voice on a pod. They're like on my 600-pod life. Like I'm an introvert in that I need a lot of solo time

to decompress and like digest. To recharge, yeah. Yeah, recharge. To recharge. Yeah, recharge. But ultimately, like, I derive all my pleasure in life from hanging out with my friends. I like to yap in a public forum. It gives me joy, pleasure.

It gives you something to look forward to. It gives you something to do. As much as I like hearing what other people have to say, I like to talk out loud too. It's just a give and take. Just go to the fucking bar, you idiot. I mean, can you say where he lives? The real fact of the matter is that he's afraid

to go to the bar because he fears that rejection or failure, that's what it comes down to. And he's in like, yeah, kind of a haunted loop, I feel, of the working from home and the teacher's apartment and the cab and it's all like, yeah, kind of a haunted loop, I feel, of the working from home and the teacher's apartment and the cab and it's all like, you know, it's like you have to kind of break that. Yeah, but also, yeah, I was like, were you groomed? Yeah, it's like, oh my.

Yeah, the teacher. The trauma teacher from middle school gave his apartment. But also, rejection and failure is so overplayed. When you go out socially, you very rarely get rejected or fail. That's just how it is. Actually, the sad thing that people wanna cope about

is that most people get along and like each other and are just happy to be there. And getting rejected in person is so much easier than kind of like this ghost, unlike an app talking to someone and they just like stop talking to you. That's like so annoying because it's so unintuitive and so like, you're just like thinking so much

about like this stranger like wondering where they're at, what they're texting you and it's like, why do I even wanna, I don't wanna do this. Go to the fucking bar. And you can probably bet that the stranger is living a double life. I have so many girlfriends who are on the apps and they're like, well, this guy ghosted me

after a productive week of banter. Because his mom came home. Yeah, his mom came home, or his wife came home, who's also his mom. Yeah. Yeah. And it's fake. I have to pee.

It's fake. We have to pee too. Okay, great. Go pee. We have to pee too. Great. We'll take a bathroom break. I'm so drunk. No, I'm like super wasted because I'm with Eli's album release. It's not sober. He's already had the title HQ. It was Elmwood. I thought it was just like a weird talk. It was a weird talk.

He was the best. We were talking. He didn't bang on the pots and pans then. He should've worn like a bed like thing. I love to smoke a joint and go to a Eli Kazza concert, honestly. This is so conceptual. When he had the drawing show and played drums, I was super stoned and I was loving it.

But yeah, I had to go through the love lines, sorry. A lot on my plate. Okay, I mean, now we're back. Do we want a short one or a long one? Whichever, I mean, we're gonna get to them anyway so. Hi Anna and Dasha. Recently my boyfriend asked for two weeks of space to reconsider our relationship due to feelings of overwhelm. Saying that we might have moved too fast or too confidently into this. And for reasons I'm a little ashamed of, I did agree to back off for the period he suggested, mostly because I like him so much

and because of this one possibility that he's genuinely for me overwhelmed and not just trying to prolong a breakup, even though this is exactly what it feels like. When I asked a little bit about the logistics of this break, he mentioned that he won't be seeing other women but that I could, quote, do whatever I wanted to. I felt really offended by that in particular because it does come off as very unprotective, very cold. And I don't know whether him saying that indicates an attempt on his part to alleviate some guilt for spraining the idea of a breakdown or if it's indicative of like, a lack of true romantic feelings for me. Honestly, all this leaning out and reaching for space

feels pretty unromantic. But I guess my question is, if a guy you're in a committed, monogamous relationship with isn't disturbed by the idea of you sleeping with other people, is it over? Yes. Yep.

Next question. He's breaking up with you. 100%. And you should really hate him because he's too cowardly to do it. He's a coward. I agree. That's bitter and awful.

There's no way he's feeling overwhelmed and needs a little space. There's no such thing as a break in a monogamous relationship. Especially that she's gone even further to say that it seems like he's excited for her to hook up with other, move on. So he's resentfully entertaining some cock fantasy. I think he's probably maybe cheated on her plans to and like is saying he won't be seeing other women but obviously he's like taking some space cuz yeah, you're better off not seeing other women. He just like My intuition is telling me he's already fully in a committed

Another woman he's like no you should move on now. And actually, we'll take a break, but you gotta move on and start fucking other people. And then you'll meet my girlfriend in three months. And then it'll sound new and crazy. Yeah, I just wanna say I'm sorry, girl, because this man is no good. I'm so sorry also. You are getting broken up, girl.

And even if we're totally wrong, she's better off taking our advice. Yeah. No, it's not. We're not wrong. There's no way we're wrong. It's not, Yeah. No, it's not. There's no way we're wrong. It's not, and it is, it's not. There is really no such thing as a break. Either way, he's either break up or you don't.

A cuck or he doesn't care about you and both are bad. And you like literally do not wanna ever be in a relationship with a guy who doesn't care if you fuck other guys. That's psychotic, yeah. Yeah. That's like a gay guy thing. It's not for women.

Yeah. The break is just. Break? So brutal. You pour it, yeah, and then you're waiting the two weeks to check back, circle back and see how the break's going. If he wants to reset the break. Like no no no.

Like leave him in the dust. Move on. Yeah, he's dating another woman and or like wants to date another woman is like caught on another one pregnant. Actually, I would know like no, no, no, no, no, there's another woman and she's pregnant. No, I think he like I bet it's not. I bet to get into pregnancy. I bet he's had an emotional affair. Yeah, true, and has not consummated.

Yeah. He's an even bigger cuck than we think. Because even to say, I'm not going to see other women, it's like, what are you going to do? I'm literally not seeing other women. I'm just talking to them on the internet. I'm in the talking stage. What are you gonna do?

No, he's Canadian. He's with another woman and they've adopted a child and this bitch doesn't even fucking know it yet, which she's gonna find out soon. Three months, she's gonna find out. Hey, I hate this guy on your behalf. Yeah, we don't like him. He sucks. We like you though.

Yeah, we do like you. Well, this was- Sorry that happened. You have the endorsement of Red Scare Podcast. Yeah, I feel for you. Well, this was the endorsement of Red Scare podcast. Yeah, I feel for you. Um, okay. So that one was dumped parentheses female. This one's dumped parentheses male. We like this. Hey ladies, love the pod. My girlfriend and I have been together for six years.

We just got engaged to be married back in September, but this last weekend while on vacation at her dad's house, she ended our relationship and said she needed a break. So I'm moving out for a while and we're going to see what happens. Do you think there's a chance we're going to get back together? And what would you say are the do's and don'ts of taking a break with your long-term partner? Also, if you play this, her and all of her friends will definitely hear it, but that's okay.

Okay, thank you, bye. Okay, you should get together with the previous caller. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah. That's a love connection. Let's connect them. I don't believe in getting back. There's no break.

There's no getting back together. There's no break. And if you do get back together after a break, one of yous ran through and full of regrets. Like resentment. And is coming back around, and then the other one's gonna resent them for whatever transpired during their break.

It's Ross and Rachel shit. Yeah, I think a break only works like, maybe you'll get back together in like 20 years. And maybe hold off for that. Yeah, when you're like old and feeble, yeah, but you don't want. The best thing you can do when somebody hits you with the let's take a break

is to just forget about them and move on. So that they're jealous of you. Yeah. That's like literally the only thing you can do. You gotta get that upper hand. Vacation at her dad's house sounds like she's got some money. So I'm imagining a lake house,

so I'm sure it's hard for him to leave that lifestyle behind. He's moving out for a while. For like where? It seems like a men's shelter. Why is she taking him on a vacation with her family if she's not about to? I think they got engaged.

Sometimes you get engaged and you realize that you made a horrible mistake. We'll circle back. You have to bail or, you know, there's a- You be like that sometimes. There's a Japanese proverb I read that's about if you're on the wrong train, like get off the fuck, it doesn't matter.

There's another Japanese bullet train that'll take you to your location swiftly because they have clean air conditioned transport system. Yeah, and they'll give you a note if you're late for work. But it doesn't matter how long you've been on the train, how much money you spent on the train. Like if you're on the wrong train, you have to get off.

That train's going not where you need to be. Yeah. Yeah. So no matter what. You need to get off in Kyoto or Osaka, buy some pottery. Exactly, taking the sights. But you took a detour. I feel for this guy too, fuck that bitch. I mean, at least she had the decency of breaking up with him in a more conclusive way.

Well, no she didn't. No she didn't, she said break. No she didn't, she took him on vacation with her dad. And I was like, we're on a break now. Well, they live together engaged. I imagine they do most things together. And things may be, who knows? But that's wrong.

No, she didn't break it off. She said, we're on a break and he's living again in a men's shelter, probably down the street from me in Greenpoint. She said she ended the relationship and he's moving out and they're gonna see how that goes. But. There's no seeing how it goes, you guys.

It sounds like she was more conclusive than the previous caller's significant other former. Slightly more. Slightly, I hate these people. Still talk, it's not good enough for me. Don't hold out hope, either of you. Exactly. These people are betraying you.

Yeah. You have to really. They're rotten. They don't care about you. They've already made a decision that they're just not brave enough to declare it. I think that's pathetic and embarrassing. Which is the ultimate red bug.

And we have limited timeless earth and wasting people's time, I think, is an egregious- It's the worst sin. Yeah. Well, it's like the famous land shark Twitter thread. It's worse when a man does it. True. Well, because we women are working

against a biological clock, yes. Yeah, yeah. And the worst thing that you can do with a woman is like lead her on indefinitely. You should go to jail. 100%. If you date a woman for over a year, every additional month that you date her without marrying her,

if you break up, you have to go to jail. What are those things called where they put you in like, you know what I'm talking about? I just thought you were gonna use that, sorry. When they would put you in like the weird wooden headlock thingy. Like a medieval torture kind of vibe? Yeah. There's a pillory. When they would put you in like the weird wooden headlock thingy like a medieval torture kind of vibe. Yeah

A pillory Well, I have like people throw things at you and you're like a good idea for like a kind of you should be pilloried if you Lead a woman on like this It's actually like not the worst sin to not lead a woman on and to just tell her that you're not interested Way better. Of course noble I think there should be a steam room and it's like a medieval torture thing, but it like slowly stretches you out. You get raped by Lil Nas X.

No, it's just like, it's just like a very nuts and bolts literally kind of thing you go to, it's hot. And you get stretched out. And it's like maybe half an hour and it's like 20 bucks. And no one has like really. I mean I. Why don't you just go to Pilates? Come on.

I know I'm being such a bitch. I'm being such a bitch. Here's another question. Why don't you just do a grueling workout in a hot room? With a culture surrounding it. Okay but like why are people waiting six years to get engaged? Exactly.

You either get engaged in the first two years of dating. Exactly. And or have a baby, like you do something like definitive or you don't get engaged. She probably lost respect for him year four. Yeah. And then two years, then you get attached. You should not be getting engaged like six, eight,

10 years into the game. And then yeah, how long are you engaged? Obviously like as someone who's just, there gets to be a point where you don't not get married. Yeah. So they're not in that stage. The woman having the vacation house probably, you know, calls out some stuff. Well, I don't know.

We don't know. They might split their time between their families homes. He's better off without her, and the other caller's better off without him. She's probably found someone else too already. Maybe they, I know, maybe they could connect. Another man on the lake. It's giving him lake life.

She just doesn't, yeah, she doesn't want it, she doesn't, it's not gonna happen. There's no do's and don'ts. The don't is don't take a break if you don't want to break up. Yeah. And then, you know, good luck. OK. Hey, ladies. So I've been talking to this guy and for context, he's kind of a public figure, like Internet famous. Honestly, you guys probably might know him and he loves porn like just loves porn red flag I know and we sexed a lot but he's always just asking me

for porn like just asking me for links like I'm his own personal porn curator how do I get him to want to have sex with the IRL more often and also he has a cock fetish, like pretty strong. And it's not just like, he wants to get cocked. It's specifically black guys. Like it's like black, like he wants specifically me to like fuck black guys. And also like I guess also the context that he's very red pills, like he's very altright. And I usually date like wanky fucking like liberal hipsters, so this is very new to me. And I guess just what you make of that too, like him wanting me to fuck black guys in front of him.

Thank you. Well, I assume this was Hassan Haikler. I think we kinda know who we're talking. Welcome to Red Scare Podcast. Welcome to the All Right. Should we name some names? I don't know. Yeah, I know who she painted as.

It could be any number of men that we know. Okay. Anyone coming to mind? You should never be in a situation where you're doing extra work to see somebody. Sending porn links to a man? You should not. He already has the links.

Yeah, what do you, yeah. He's like leading you on, girl. He's not interested. That doesn't sound fun. He's gay. He's gay. He's almost like destabilizing to hear this. I don't even know where to enter this,

like that's very strange. If it's not Kanye West, it's not worth it. Yeah, no, no, no, so true. He's the only cuck worth wasting your time on as far as I'm concerned. And even he's not worth it because you know that man is exhausting. I mean, I wouldn't.

I wouldn't. Well, because you don't like black guys. Oh, wow. I like talented artists. But yeah, the skin is a bit dark for me. And I think that's okay. So her thing is that like her kind of love interest is like taunting her.

You're talking stage. Talk to other people. With a minor right wing. Keep on the back burner like fuck him if you want to. You know what's so depressing is that everybody like now just talks to people on the Internet and it's so fake. The talking stage. Yeah, it's like an eprenial. Everlasting talking stage where you're just like, yeah,

you get the dopamine of attention from some gay guy with a meth addiction. He's like, I need porn, porn, porn, porn, porn. It's weird when straight guys. It's Nick Fuentas. It's probably, yeah. Can you get the links for me? Send us the links once you. I don't wanna see the links.

I mean, that's how she baited us. Also, I just assume everybody's trolling us and when people are talking to somebody like internet famous they're lying and he's not that internet famous he has like 80 yeah followers he makes edits yeah on JDVAM he's a popular account with over 1000 followers yeah and when you're young you think like anyone is internet famous. It doesn't amount to anything practical whatsoever. Or spiritual. It's not a good, it's not a virtue. So this guy has a cuck fetish. So he's dying for you to cuck him by saying no.

Just be a fucking bitch to that guy. Just stop talking to him. When people are leading you astray and leading you on, just use them as your own personal guinea pig. I think maybe she could turn it into like a Fendom thing. Yeah, run some game, girl. Honestly, just get some money out of this shit. Yeah. This guy sounds like a loser.

If he's even real, this question is even real. It's this question's even real. It sounds realistic. It's like, you know this will be a good topic for the fucking thing. I know you're gonna. I know you know him, but you don't. I was playing.

Amazing topic for the Red Scare. Riley was up in the home while I was listening to him. He was like, don't take that bait. And I was like, but. Don't, don't. I was like, but. I wonder. Yeah, I find myself wondering and I'm now upset that I'm like, but, I wonder. Yeah, I find myself wondering

and I'm now upset that I'm wondering because like, this lying bitch has got me. It's someone definitely like a minor that we wouldn't even probably know about. It's easily could be someone we vaguely know or someone we don't know at all, either is possible. But I don't think they're that prominent or else they might be a little more discerning.

But probably not either. Yeah. Regardless, we don't care, we're over it. They wouldn't be fucking around with a girl with that voice. Well, they probably haven't even spoken. Okay, which one you pick? Well, I thought I said Halal pianist, but it says hotel pianist, but let's just do that one.

Because I love hotels. It's a little long, but it's pretty interesting. Great. pianist who works at my dad's hotel. It's not like a bougie hotel or anything, it's a pretty like small hotel but anyway he comes every Friday and Saturday and plays in the lounge and my friends would just go we'd get drinks and like we'd chat a little. One thing led to the other and we hooked up and now it's just kind of a regular thing and but here's just kind of a regular thing. But here's where it gets a little complicated. So it turns out that he's married to one of my dad's ex-employees, a woman who worked at the hotel when I was growing up. I lived in the hotel

as a child and I knew this woman very well. I had no idea that he was married to her, obviously. And apparently things ended badly. And now he's just like around. And I just I don't know what to do because he started acting a little distant last week. Like we're still texting, we're still making plans. But I feel like there's this like a shift. And I can't help but wonder if she's pulling away because she's worried about me being like the daughter of the hotel owner. He's just trying to protect me from like all the messy stuff that went down with his ex. I don't know what's happening but I just am I a bad person for like fucking a guy who used to be married to a woman who played a

very big role in my childhood. I was very close with this woman as a child and now I am hooking up with her ex-husband. And is that ethical? I don't know. Also, should I confront him about the distance? I don't know what to do. I don't even know if this is sustainable. I don't know.

Please help. Thank you. Oh my God, okay, all these young people need to identify what they want. I think fucking the hotel at Piano Way is so cool and so hot, I love that. But you fucking guys, it's so depressing. Yeah, but like, no, do it twice and then move on. You live in the hotel and your dad.

Lounge. It's like a bond boy. A jazz man. I know. Yeah. You fuck around. She's fucking around and finding out what happens when you fucking. I'm like, this is my type of guy.

Sounds piano. He sounds like a loser. Oh, yeah. It's not a boutique hotel. Likes the track likes. It's a dump and he's playing lounge piano on Fridays and Saturdays. But isn't that so nice?

There should be more. And he's getting pussy from the hotel owner's daughter? Clock that type of tea. That's, he's playing an important role in society. He's providing music and a beautiful, that's what I revere that kind of man. People don't do that anymore. Yeah. Maybe it's a little sleazy, you know, nailed to the fucking cross.

That sleazy, but like you really can't expect anything from this guy. Yeah. No, I accept. No great sacks all the time. And fun, fun, fun at the hotel. We an age disparity happening. We're like, oh, yeah, yeah. and fun fun fun at the hotel. There's really an age disparity happening where her- Jazz means- Oh yeah. He's like, her, sounds like this woman,

his act was like a maternal figure to her at some point. Yeah, it was like her aunt or something. Yeah. And like she can't acknowledge it, but she has some kind of like a- Electra, complex. Ventral fantasy against this woman. I think it's a secret affair.

But it also maybe like a proxy for her dad, you know? Like the father and his, the dad's employee. There's a lot of power dynamics happening. Yeah. Young people are so retarded and sweet. Dunstan Jackson, kind of Titanic a little bit too. Kind of Eloise. And also like the rehearsal with Nathan Field is like normal people. It's way more intriguing than the minor

right wing celeb, honestly. I'm like, what's going on at this hotel? Yeah, I love. Upstairs, downstairs, the owner, the daughter. Are we staying there anytime soon? The piano player. I've been transfixed by piano players in my lifetime. Oh, have you?

Well, of course, they're very romantic. They're a Lynchian. Yeah. They tickle those ivories. Was a very old man. It was a restaurant in a very sleepy town in Connecticut that I've been to a few times called. Is he gay?

No, but just an old, old man. He plays for a restaurant that's wooden and it's like a tavern kind of. And I just like was completely enamored by just the whole, I was like eating a fucking salad next to this guy playing a piano. I'm like, I will have sex with you. Dan, do you know who Terry Waldo is?

No, he's not the guy in the books with the stripe. He's like the friend of Eli, who's like the last living ragtime pianist. Ragtime? Girl, don't invoke ragtime right now. Anna, come on. You're not invoking ragtime. He was the guy playing the piano at Elena Velez's.

Oh, that guy. That old man. I wish we had a lounge pianist to play ambient music for us on the pond. We should have Terry Waldo on the pond. You should. That's what the pond is really. Ragtime's a little goofy.

Ragtime's a bit much. But a lounge pianist is a, you know... But like, I'm telling you, a pianist? Okay, you go. When I was a child growing up in New Jersey, the Nordstrom and the Bloomingdale's had a lounge pianist who physically played piano, but they don't have that anymore.

Did you ever encounter that? I remember the piano that played itself and being enchanted by that as a child. You try to fuck with piano. Yeah, they had that. Like grinding up on it. How do they do that? There's a great piano player at Mimi's,

that restaurant in Midtown who's neurodivergent, and Vish always gets him to come and play piano at his Christmas party, and it's always really really fun. I heard fish and I'm like wow that's a really good band. I mean there are plenty you can if you want a piano player they're out there. There should be more there should be a piano player every fucking bar. Vish is like the exception that proves the role of Indian guys being hot. Oh he's the guy that's in all the movies you're in. Yeah, he's the real estate agent turned actor

turned real estate agent. Yeah. Yeah. He's still an actor. He'll wear a lot of hats. Yeah. I think that like, keep fucking the piano player. Mm-hmm.

Don't tell your- Just like keep the expectations low. Oh yeah. Because that man ain't gonna give you what you want. No. Do you think he's drowning in pussy or not? No. I so the ex-wife and more so that he's an alcoholic annoying Showing of our friends like bitch. Well that her dad is his boss. Yeah, I want to botch Chill, you know, he needs to do he needs this gig She wants it to be like a flattering narrative with where there's some other woman involved and they're like locked in competition,

but it's like really that he's just trying to keep his job. Yeah. And it's a very important job. If he loses that job. It's his one lifeline. Then the hotel's suffering. Then this could set off a chain of events.

So keep it going, keep the flame alive as long as you can and then try and taper off his gracious. My one advice to all the callers calling in is like reclaim the narrative and be the dominant bratty one who gets what you want by nagging. Well, she sort of asked, she said, should she confront him? No, never, because then you're laying

your cards on the table. I think that's a way of getting the upper hand. If you, you know, you can do it, you can play it right. Only if you're willing to slide out. Mm. Mm. Mm-hmm. You have to be willing to be withholding and to disappear.

I agree that she should keep her expectations low. I bet him being older, his libido is diminished. So he, though he probably loves having sex with you, he isn't as motivated by it as like a younger pianist or man might be. You know, he's probably he's probably he's probably not drowning in pussy now. I am like this close to just leaving the podcast and going to the townhouse on the upper east side and like fucking the piano. I love pianos. The piano is such a sexy instrument to play

because it's so complicated. I tried like a French. It's so sensual. And so much character. 10 years ago. Was just trying to teach me the most basic thing. I was like hot cross buns or some bullshit. And I couldn't do it.

She's like, no, just do it. I was like, no, I actually can't. I have like, I don't have like a musical bone in my body really. Same. And I almost like broke down in tears. So it was after like 20 seconds, I'm trying't. I don't have a musical bone in my body, really. And I almost broke down in tears. After like 20 seconds of trying to play the piano, I'm like, I can't do it.

So when someone really is like, possesses their whole body. It's sexy. Tamangelo tried to teach me how to play bass. Oh, God. Which is the easiest instrument ever, and I couldn't even hang. Even though your fingers are so calloused

from giving hand jobs to anyone. I mean, those little piano players and et cetera. Dimescore, Dex-I-Des. Musicians. Yeah, anyone, yeah. I don't. That's too bad. Historically, not having my type musicians, but I could be, you know. My type is musicians, it really sucks, y'all.

Wait, quick detour, who are the most famous people you invited to your wedding? They want it, the listeners want it now. She can't say that on the podcast. We're gonna find out anyways. No one like that. It's very friends and like that. Okay. It's very friends and family vibes.

Right. I wanted Ann Coulter, you know, she's got an open-ended vibe. Well, see, that's what I was gonna get. I'm like, are there any kind of? But no, Steve Bannon's not gonna be. Tucker coming? No, I wish.

No way. I don't think he would. He doesn't like New York. And it's like, I don't wanna do the, you know. There's people who are my friends who can't even come, so I can't be just. Well, they're gonna miss the pasta station. I tried to invite Ann Coulter,

but we were in a gauntlet of homosexuals, so I couldn't invite her without excluding them. She was surrounded by the homos. Yeah, I can imagine. We really just will like, at all. I mean, it's like, we're really easy to please, but also impossible at the same time. It's, yeah, it's alchemical.

Yeah. You know, what really clicks with the gay community. The sound of ice cubes and a plastic cup of coffee. Or. A vodka soda. Yeah. Like there's just, yeah, the right tone. Okay.

Let's do some more calls. How many do you have left? I'm just like soaring with you. I'm calling as a mother of six kids who are all pretty young. And I'm curious how you would handle iPhone use and social media and the internet for your child, Anna and Dasha, if you were to have kids, how to expose them in a healthy way to the internet. Thanks, bye.

Wait, sorry, she's the mother of six kids. She's got six kids. That's right. And she's calling in to ask us for advice. About screen time, yeah. That's hilarious. I don't know by the way why I obscured Dan's, I don't, you know.

Yeah. I could, I should have just been like, with Dan I'll get out, but for some reason I was like, no, it's good. I was gonna make a subsequent post that did mention Dan to evoke maybe different kinds of callers, but then I just got wrapped up. Oh no, I like the surprise element, yeah.

No, true, I didn't even think about it. Can we really give her any advice as women who don't know what it's like to even have- Is someone who's raising six kids, she knows more about life than we can ever confirm. Six kids? That's insane. One is close to six, but-

Well, they say threes is easier than one. No, it's not. Six is easier than three. Well, after two or three, they start to socialize each other. Yeah. And then they kind of keep themselves busy. But I don't fucking know. Well, I wouldn't trip about screen time. It's screen time. Here's my advice.

Only Asians care about screen. Do whatever you can. You're the mother. Your kids are going to resent you no matter what you do. So just give them the iPad at age three and let them go. And because they're never going to like you. They won't ever. It's not like an only child and you're just like tossing the cocoa mill in their way. Yeah.

They are inevitably going to be better socialized and like have their own distinct experiences. And like, yeah, they'll they already are having an interactive life due to the amount of children you've had. Yeah. So like if you need to put on, if someone of them needs to watch TV a little bit to relax, don't fire up the screen. It's fine. Let it rip. No, yeah.

If she has the time to listen to Red Scare podcast, her children can watch like Dora the Explorer. Yeah. May I recommend like Dora the Explorer. Yeah. May I recommend Masha and the bear. What's the dog thing? What's it called? Like the paw? Paw Patrol.

Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol sucks. Oh no. I know. What if Lenny's listening? Lenny, he loves Paw Patrol. He's an only child and he's a brat and I'm a weak disciplinarian so I let him do whatever he wants.

I think the zero screen time is admirable. It's not. If you have been only it's like okay sure like yeah you can devote yourself to interacting with your kid but it's not that important. No. And like it's fine. No and if you deprive them of screen time, they're just like losers in their school

and they get bullied. Right, yeah. Because they don't understand the context of like the memes and the jokes. Of course, this is the time we live in. I think that like, you know, if you feel bad about giving them too much screen time, like they need nature.

Okay, you have to tailor the screen time. It's all about balance. You have to show them constructive. Planet of grounds or some shit, I don't fucking know. You have to show them porn. To initiate them into adulthood. Find them a really troubled cousin. And then see what happens when porn is in the closet and you know, leave them, you know.

Well, that's a great point because it's like Kanye's trauma, if you wanna call it that, predates the screen. Yeah, everybody, yeah. Like, the image is not always going to shock you, and like, children will be exposed to things, you can't keep them protected forever. May as well start them young.

Yeah, you just have to show them, what was Athena Carroll on about? Little Bear, Little Bear. Show them Little Bear. And Masha and the Bear. Anything with a bear. Anything with content with a bear involved. Make them gay.

You think Dunstan checks in made you gay? Well no, but in hindsight, I didn't realize at the time, but when I rewatched it years later, by the way, I'm not a person who watches children's movies. I'm not an adult. It's like, ooey, look. You're not a Disney adult.

Yes, but also, okay, here's the thing. It's a monkey movie. Dan, I have a question for you. No, no, no, can I just like really get this out really quickly? Faye Dunaway's in it, Paul Rubens made his return to cinema in that. Like Pee Wee Herman.

Yeah. Robert Everett, who was like, I didn't realize he was like an out homosexual and like never got roles for like 20 years, but he was like back in Duns and Checks and there's like a fat gay guy, the dog who's like very flamboyant. So it's a triumph of queer deco like it takes place in a hotel and it's

very magical. And I was I bought the VHS and I would watch it over and over and over. And I oh, it's a gay as I love hotels. I love it's a gay and I love really random gaga. It was so cool. And it doesn't get talked about because it's a children's movie, but I love Paul Rubin so much.

It's a very untalked. It's not talked about enough. It's underrated. Underrated, thank you. But what were we talking about right before I went on? Well, I have a question for you. Do you think homosexuality is genetic? I don't know.

I remember feeling like from a very young age. But like I have, okay, I remember someone's like three or two years old, or even like one year old. No, six months old, I have a memory. I remember, it came to me in a dream a few years ago. I remember I had a dream that my brother picked me up in our dining room and I threw up all over him.

I texted my mom or we were talking, I was like, I had this weird dream. And she's like, wait, that actually happened. It was the first time your brother ever picked you up, your crib was in the dining room and you threw up all over him. And I was like, oh, well, how did I know that happened? She's like, well, I don't know. I've never taught. It wasn't like a thing, but I had like a vision of like that. I'm not saying I'm like a special kind of like psychic kind of person, but I do

have like a lot of memories. You are very special from very early age. And you know, I think the first crush I had was like watching General Hospital, my grandma and Antonio Zobato Jr. Okay. Hey, hey. Interesting, well there was that tweet going around today

that was like, what was your first celebrity crush? Yeah, it's Eli's art. Uh-oh. I'm losing my voice, you guys. Sabato Jr. male, born on Leap. He was a Calvin Klein model, and he was also a soap opera actor, and was an actress. So you had a formative homosexual memory.

Yeah, I just was like, oh, no, but yeah, the black and white one. Well, that just was like, oh, no, but yeah, the black and white one. Well, that's very handsome to say, yeah. And he's Italian. Oh, I mean, come on. I know, I know. He's dimples and that smile. I don't think he's Italian.

Oh no, he's from Rome. Oh, interesting. And born on leap days. But his mother's Czech. Yeah, no shit, guys. I'm not playing around. And Jewish, and her mother was a Holocaust survivor. Oh.

Mischling Italian. So I remember being like five and being like, I don't like it. I'm gay. Well, just kind of drawn to. I like what you do. You have the famous story about how your mother bought you the Barbie Jeep because she thought you were into cars, but it was because you were into Barbies.

It was a Barbie limo, went to the Sy Syracuse mall and I couldn't wait to get We would drive two hours to the Syracuse malls you back to school shopping and I was four and my mom I'm saving the image to use for and I sat on and broke mom bought me a big Barbie limo. And I sat on it and broke it in the mall because I just ripped it out of the package and I was like, I want this limo so bad. I sort of soft came out to my mom and I was like 19. She's like, you would have played with dolls and you're a kid, I don't understand.

I'm like, did you buy me the Barbie limo? Did you not like, am I retarded or are you? I think we both are in our own right, but there's just like, you're kind of locked in at four. I think you're locked in at four. With four. Well, that's when Freud says the formative memory starts. Yeah, that makes sense.

Which is why you want to keep your child away from weird, errant, criminal men. And are you the youngest? Which is why you want to keep your child away from weird, errant, criminal men. Are you the youngest? Yeah, I have a brother who's six years older. Which is kind of possible. There's a theory that the kids get gayer. The younger brother's gay.

Yes. Yeah. That part, all the straight. I met a gay guy last night who was one of eight. And he has a twin brother and his brother's straight, but he's gay. Interesting. Oh, interesting.

I know a lot of gay twins. Yes, you would assume that the gay gene or whatever. So it must not be that tragic. But it has to be somewhat genetic. Yeah, probably. I mean, that's the whole. I don't know. I don't know either.

I just don't know. But then it opens up a minefield because it's like, what is homosexuality for? Because it's not procreative or whatever. But like, I think another thing I do think that has a strong genetic component. Yeah, that might be true. It's also kind of like the least unimaginative thing when you know there's like traversal wormholes on this planet, there are,

you know, dire wolves are being brought back to life. Once you learn dinosaurs aren't really, really turned gay. Suddenly, uh-oh, uh-oh. Uh-oh, oops, did we make another dire? No, we did it. That's so true, Dan. Girl, I'm telling you, there's a lot of stuff going on up there.

It's all in the ocean too, sorry. So screen time is okay as long as you're watching General Hospital Dunstan checks in or Inside Skinwalker Ranch. Period. Or porn, or pornography. Hardcore pornography. Those are the four things that are appropriate

for children to watch. You wanna maximize the screen time to get the kids ahead of the curve. To learn about the world. Yeah. And maybe a Yellowstone spinoff. Yeah. If they've got the time. And maybe a Yellowstone spin-off. Yeah. If they've got the time.

Okay, there's four more. You gotta wonder why a woman who has six kids is listening to Red Scare podcast and calling you. She's probably got downtime. She's doing chores, who knows. She'll fall asleep though. People tell me, they tell me, is it a common, they're like, I fall asleep listening to your podcast.

That is a compliment I think. Well, yeah, I guess I'm, in my mind, I feel like I'm just stressing every part of my life out constantly, so like when people are like, comforted by my voice, I find it alarming and strange. Yeah, maybe not right now, but I don't know. It's different, but it's also kinda like, oh, I'm boring. We can just.

No, it's not that. I think it's... Because if you're too engaging, you're stressing people out. Right. You're like Candace Owens. You're lower. Yeah. No one's falling asleep to Candace Owens.

I've also... And she's not interested. Tim Dillon, though, who I love. No one's... Then Tim... I mean, we love Tim, but nobody's falling asleep to Tim Dillon. I am, though. In a very low volume. Yeah. though, and I very love all of you.

Yeah, no, there's nice people like, I don't, but a lot of people are soothed by chatter. Yeah, no. It's just something other people like. All right. Hi, big fan of the pod. So, me and my boyfriend we live together I think we're gonna get married someday we're very happy but ever since I have gotten if that makes sense I feel like I don't want to

have sex I don't feel sexy I would rather goon by myself when he's at work I'm so serious it's horrible we still do have regular sex. I just don't Feel sexually attractive and it's not his fault. He tells me I'm beautiful every day but Should I get a new form of birth control? I'm not ready to have a baby Should I just track my cycle? Because I'm turning 26 and I'm losing my medical insurance. And I think I should just get this thing ripped out. But I don't really know what to do about it.

Hey, newsflash birth control is evil. It's poison. Yeah, right. Get that thing out of you. Get the thing out and track your cycle. Your body's rejecting it. You don't want to, you don't feel sexually attractive because you're not fertile. Because your body already thinks you're pregnant because you had a thing inserted into it that. Yeah, not my will, my intuition's like, get it out. Get it out, track it.

Hell, you implanted something in yourself. Not even like an alien didn't do it, you did it. Exactly. And also like this is, okay, I understand people will push back on me, but if you are in a happy monogamous relationship, why are you on birth control? No pushback here.

Getting knocked up would be a blessing potentially. And it's so- Mostly. It's- Right? That's how things happen. Yeah. It's not- Like what else do you have going on? But it's also not hard to track your site like this, like sex ed myth.

The people are like, I remember the first time I had sex being like, we have to get condoms because I might get pregnant because I've only been on birth. I went on birth control because I wanted to lose my virginity. Yeah. And I had only been on it for two weeks and they said, you have to be on it for at least a month To fully be infertile. So I was like we got to get the condoms. Yeah, I was like There's a pianist at the Hyatt in Los Angeles

Like I can get pregnant at any moment my question which is very brute and cruel is like if you are already locked into a Relationship, why would you even be on birth control? Why are you postponing the inevitable? Like if you are already locked into a relationship, why would you even be on birth control? Why are you postponing the inevitable? Well, she's not ready to have kids. I get it, but like also- It's not that hard to avoid. Yeah, but why would you then roll the die?

Shake the dice, steal the rice, get knocked up, do it now. Yeah, if you track your cycle and get pregnant anyway, it's a miracle. And it's with the will of God. And it's worth keeping it. And, but you will find that it's, you know. I just think about how crazy we all are because I spent like 10, 15 years postponing my

fertility and having a baby, which is mentally ill. I mean, it doesn't like having a child is like the worst thing could ever happen to someone. Millennials really think that like a child. Yeah, well, because they think that'll burden their lifestyle. Challenging and I'm sure very difficult. But again, it's just like sex ed, like You're told from a very young age that's the most tragic thing that can happen that you must avoid it at all costs And you're never told about like if you're with someone for a long time you love them Like my question is like what else you exactly gay people aside? What is in that being in a relationship if it's not procreative?

Literally no point yeah What's the point of being in a relationship if it's not procreative? I mean, I've never been to one. There's literally no point. Yeah. I mean, the companionship. Yeah, but I do smell what you're stuffing in. I hate to be so black and white about it, but it's like, true. No, if you think you're gonna get married.

Yes, if you're locked in, if you have made a commitment, if you are gonna walk off into the sunset with this person, why not just get pregnant now? Or not, you're not gonna get pregnant by the way. Or don't try to get pregnant, but like. Don't go out of your way, but like don't intervene. Obviously your body is telling you that you don't, that having non-procreative sex is wrong.

It seems like her intuition is like barking very loudly and she's not putting the dog down. Get it out. Get it out. And she's gonna ruin her relationship with her boyfriend that she loves and that she's happy with. She's gonna get fat and be a bitch, which is also a side effect of birth control. Is that you become more depressed.

Yeah, your libido's lower, you resent your boyfriend, it changes your body chemicals. Yeah. How fat do you really get though? You gain like five pounds, 10? I, my tit, I went on birth control. Oh, my tear tit. When I was with Adam because I wanted my tits to get big.

Okay. And they got like pretty big, but I was low-key, not fat, obviously, but like. Yeah, you'd never be fat. Well, I've been, you know, whatever. But yeah, my tits were swollen, but I was bloated all the time. Yeah.

You know? So it's like, and they kinda hurt. They look cool. But it wasn't worth it. You can literally just naturally track your cycle. It's not rocket science It's really not and if you get pregnant that that's like God's way of telling you that you should just have the baby Yeah, your fertile really like five to three days of the month is like the way it's very minimal Yeah, and like if he's pulling out that's also

Pretty good. Yeah, that also is gonna lower your up. It's very minimal, yeah. And like if he's pulling out, that's also pretty good. That also is gonna lower your chances. So. We're going back to like OG Red Scare talking points, which is that the pull out method works. 100% of the time. Probably. Yeah.

Mostly. Yeah, with tracking your cycle, it's like basically pretty good. Yeah. Wait, going back to classic Red Scare talking points, I've lost like 30 pounds since last summer and no one's noticed. Oh.

You guys are like, oh shit. I haven't seen you that much. Yeah, no, I know. Truly. When you're like- How'd you do it? I think I stopped eating fast food when I was hungover and just got the Polish hot bar next to my apartment.

I would get a cabbage roll and green beans and frozen potatoes. So, listen. Doing intuitive eating. Exactly. Eating what your body craves, which is Slavic foods. Just slop. Just like.

Yeah, but that's what, you know. From Kashma Polish restaurant. Not Kachma, it's called Bake Stone Bakery, but I love Kachma and it's. I wish I had a poem. Have you been there with either of you? No, I don't make it out to a green point though, no. Well, yeah, and not many people do.

There's a Burmese restaurant in my house that I like. I mean, living on the Isle of Manhattan must be so nice. It's not that nice because we're being poisoned by our takeout. I cook. But there's no trash. Yeah, we have to cook at home. No, I, yeah. No, there's not, my neighborhood's not great for restaurants.

Like anything, yeah. You make it work. No, my neighborhood's not great for restaurants. Like anything, yeah. Yeah. You make it work. I just go to the Italian farmer's market in New Jersey and buy food for like three weeks. Well, I go to the malls and I go to the Roosevelt Field Mall in Long Island to like walk and shop and-

You get your steps in. Yeah, in the winter I go to the mall. I go, it's called the dining district. It's not the food court, but you know, there's fabulous Indian food and other stuff. After you guys leave, I'm gonna eat some kielbasa on German Flux Bread. Oh yeah, I've loved your food poster.

They literally make my mouth water. That's amazing. Yeah. I love the sardine. Okay. We got three more. Yeah, I am. Hi, Anna. Hi, Dasha.

Longtime listener. I've been listening to you guys since I was in college and I'm 26 now. First time caller. They're all 26. But I had a question first time caller. Um, but I, I had a question because I'm afraid I'm being a total bitch to my boyfriend because of

subconsciously mimicking everything I see online to go back. Um, I think thing I see online to go back. Um, I think since I turned 26, I've been really obsessed with getting engaged and this isn't something that I like normally thought I would be like, like I thought I would be someone who like wouldn't want to get married until like 34. I don't know, but I am from the South even though I live in New York and I constantly

see people online either getting engaged, getting married or having literal children and I just see it constantly and I don't know if that is getting into my head or if I genuinely want to get married. Like, I'm just on my Pinterest board like, pinning rings. And if you knew me, you'd know this isn't like a normal thing for me. Am I like, I do love my boyfriend too. It's just like, how do I know I like genuinely want to get married? And maybe this is more of a question for Dasha. Oh damn. Versus me wanting, this might be going on too long.

But me just mimicking the world around me. Like how do I know it's like my own decision? You don't? Anyway. I was actually thinking the other day about how if you're not religious, there's basically no incentive to get married because you don't like,

I literally had to sign a document that said, I'm want to be in a Christian marriage that is exclusive, permanent and open to children. And like that the these are the parameters of what it meant to be married. And I don't think that really exists in secular marriage because divorce rates are so, it's like there's just no. There's no incentive and it's very hard to, I think about this a lot because how do you restore belief? I'm not even talking about marriage, I'm talking about religion. How do you believe in something

when we've all been taught to not believe? And it's actually correct, like there's nothing to believe in, objectively speaking, so you have to find your own belief, which is challenging. And there is- Agnostic institution of marriage is like- Yeah.

Doesn't, it wouldn't make sense. Yes. If you're not rich or religious, I should say. Yeah, if you're not trying to merge assets, there's no- If you don't have a dynasty that you are trying, if you're not- Yeah. No don't have like a dynasty that you are like trying, if you're not. Yeah. No, and also like, not to think about me,

but as a gay guy, I would be like, do you wanna get married? I'm like, I don't even like think, I'm like, it could happen. I don't even. I don't understand the institution of gay marriage. I don't even earn it. Except for, as like an asset merger.

In fact, this stresses me out. Yeah. I'm like, I could. But I think like believing in God and getting married and having children are probably the right things to do and The fact of the matter is it didn't occur to people to not do them Beforehand and there's no easy pathway to like restoring that level of faith. It just doesn't exist. That's true, but also like as, just witnessing the life around me as like people, like I grew up in a very like Catholic, Ukrainian,

Eastern European, a lot of people were married and completely miserable and like very dysfunctional. And like, you know, it would be nice to have a defined lifestyle that's like this we should strive for. And we did have it and it's broken and gone. It's actually gone. I know, I know. And it isn't the worst thing, but it's also still kind of sad.

It is sad on a collective level that you don't have that. isn't the worst thing, but it's also still kind of sad. It is sad, but like on a collective level that you don't have that anymore. Like my grandparents, they were married till they died. And it didn't occur to them to ever separate. They met in like a Nazi work camp and were taken from their families. And they immigrated to America and they worked side by side in a glass packaging factory in Elmira, New York.

They'd walk home for lunch for 40 years. They were tired and they never complained. I've never heard them complain once in their fucking life. Meanwhile, I make a living off of like complaining. It's like disgusting. They never took a break because they were overwhelmed. They didn't have anxiety. You know, they're carrying like the heaviest trauma I could ever imagine.

They would be like uniquely disrespected if they knew how you made a living. I mean, I had that tweet back in 2015. I'm like the descendant of like Armenian genocide survivors, Holocaust survivors, Stalinist purge survivors. And I make my living gossiping and complaining on a podcast. That's what they made it for. That's the American dream. To be touching lives. But it is really depressing because it's very hard to,

I think about this all the time because a lot of people will say that we're nihilists. Well, what they really mean is that we don't agree with them politically, which I think is wrong because I do have political convictions, but I am a nihilist fundamentally in that I don't believe in anything. And having a kid to believe in something.

Yeah. Like I don't believe in religion. I don't believe in marriage. Like it's a very dark place to be as a person. Yeah. I can accuse of being a nihilist also. The thing is I believe in a lot of things such as dinosaurs never

An annoying red-pilled bitch but like that children should not be Transed at a pre pubertal age like you believe in stuff like that. And that's not even like a that's a very extremist yeah thing to believe. And on the left, people are like, if you don't suddenly get on board, then you're stolen or moved somewhere. It's like, whoa, okay. Let's figure a way to sell something.

But nowadays, it really does not make sense. I understand why you're getting married, because you're a person who's not only religious, but you have an intact family. Both of your family parent sets are married and alive. My grandparents, much like Dan's, couldn't. There was just no, you know, I don't get divorced. And then my parents, in part due to their immigrant experience,

I feel like that really tethers you to a person. Yes. Because you start a whole new life together in a new place and you're not going to remix and do a third one unless you're really damaged. My parents, it would never have occurred to them to get divorced, even though they threatened it all the time. Like it would never have happened.

My mom tried to divorce my dad for years and years, but he would like kidnap my brother and like disappear. So it was like, it was dark as fuck. But you know, and I still like, I resent my mom still to this day. I'm like, why didn't you like divorce him sooner? And I know the reasons why I saw it. Of course. Well, you don't.

It's just the thing about being Catholic is not. You're a kid, you're just ramped up. Obviously Catholic marriages get un-nulled or they find ways to separate still, but you enter into a marriage not, most people who enter into secular marriages don't have the ideal of not getting divorced. You're not trying to.

It's like it's like divorce and on demand. It's like divorce and demand. Like the marriage is already kind of null and void because you always have the option of casually getting divorced because you're not like to me marriage and religion go hand in hand. Well, it's a sacrament. So you have, if you are religious,

you believe that a sacrament is something real that like a priest gives you and that that changes something in yourself and it like bonds you in a real way. And just a secular marriage where you get your friend to be ordained and sake, you know, it's like, it's all nice and sweet and like, I'm pro. It's nice. It's nice. But like, yeah, there's no real reason to do it.

And I don't know enough about the collar, but it sounds like she's feeling a lot of like ambient social pressure. And she's on Pinterest too much. Well, she's just going online and seeing people. It's like everybody online, but especially women, suffer from social contagion where you see other people doing stuff. I'll give you an example, which is like, when I see people have a handbag or a shoe

that I didn't even think of before, I'm like, oh, I need that. I have a whole Pinterest board for the brown New Balance Miu Miu sneaker. Yeah, I have those sneakers. No. I do. Anna, they're so expensive. I got them on Vistare Collective.

Oh, I'm on that. Same size. Whose foot's bigger? Anna's. Mine, even though I'm shorter. I bought fake ones and you can really tell. They look like dog shit. I got one. I was like.

His foretoe knuckle hair, I'm like, probably Anna too. I had mine lasered off. But I love, yeah, I have a whole Pinterest board of all of those sneakers, but I can't spend $1,000 on a sneaker right now because I have these other. You have a board of pickers of the same shoe. You have a plate. It's mentally ill because of pickers of the same shoe. They're like, you're gonna get flayed.

It's mentally ill because you don't really need the shoe. Pinterest crazy. I bought the shoe. Pinterest make you crazy. At a discount price and I've never worn the shoe. Pinterest has a whole spiral laying up in the air. And now I'm like, I need the Comde Garcon's Nike Colabo high heel shoe

because I saw Amalia Ullman wearing it at some movie Q&A and my friend Veronica really wants them and I'm like buying Supreme at 40 years old. Yes you are. That is hot. Yeah you sure are. I did buy the gay race communism fleece

with like the, it was like a jazz scene of like black people partying. How much was that? I'm happy for you. So much money. I don't know why I bought that. I can probably sell it for higher. Yeah. I have the Supreme Transformers.

Like Dan, look at this thing that I bought for the baby. It hurts my neck to even move. I'm just so old. When I have to like turn around, I'm like. Picture a plastic truck that says Supreme. Oh my God. Are you fucking'm like. Picture a plastic truck that says Supreme. Oh my god. Oh my god. Are you crazy?

Get him a Hess truck. Well no, I'm gonna resell it for like twice the price. It's gonna accrue value, especially when you smoke all these cigarettes around it. That's gonna really drive up the price. I need my baby to have the Supreme Transformers truck right now. Wait, so the Supreme Transformers,

how much did you spend on that? 98. $98? That's not so bad. It's not so bad. That's like a toy. Transformers truck right now wait, so the supreme transformers, how much do you spend on that? $98 yeah, that's not so bad. It's not so bad. That's like a toy what? Now it's going for twice the price second. I would have already resellers 500 oh no, I would never I would never I would never but the freeze sounds like you're getting a taste for how much the please God, it was like 348 so much money, I Mean the music much the fleece costs. That was like 348. So much money. I mean the musicers. Why did I do that? The musicers are like a thousand, 1400 dollars.

They're a thousand dollars like retail value, but they're going for like 1800. Cause they're sold out, which is insane. My God. They're not, the real thing is they have like two different sets of laces and I'm like, I bought these Adidas that I'm just gonna put different laces in. But now I'm like, that's, no, it's like everyone's gonna know

what I'm doing and that I can't afford them. And I'm fucking broke and I can't have the Miu Miu sneakers. Because I can't afford them. Because people are barely looking at you and they don't care, everyone's a rapper and shit. Well this is also, this is. You know what's true, it's like, the way that people make you feel,

not how you look. But going back to the marriage thing. That's why I have so many friends, I have such an award-winning personality. It is, but it's psycho because so many women get married because they want like a party and a wedding and like a photo shoot and it's not their fault. I actually don't blame them or fault them for that. That's my least

Misogynist opinion I get it But it's the wrong reason to get married. Absolutely. Well much like dinosaurs There's a whole industrial complex that like encourages this and I get I also Agree, I like understand why because most people don't have I agree. I like understand why because most people don't have like this is for most people like their wedding day is the day where they get a lot of attention. Yeah. And they get to kind of produce something that's catered to their tastes because they're not artistic. You know, if you, I never wanted, I didn't really ever wanna get married because I never felt that like need to, you know, I was like, I'll probably go to like a movie premiere or maybe I'll like play someone

that gets married in a movie. And like that probably feels pretty good too. Why are you getting married? Well, because I'm religious. Okay, wait, what? Yeah, because I believe in it as, because I want the sacrament, and I'm in love with my husband,

and I want us to be, when we share the same values, and the same faith, basically, and we want. Where did you meet him, by the way? Through Matu. Oh. They were talking for years, they were like, he has- what's the upstate connect? Is there an upstate connection? He was no he's from the Pacific Northwest. Okay

He seems like he's coming here and met you were like this guy they've been trying to set me up with Riley And then finally I've been knowing about this And it's actually a beautiful thing because it was like a crapshoot because she could have met him. I've been knowing about this. And it's actually a beautiful thing because it was like a crap shoot because she could have met him and been like, whatever, T-socks and he could have been like T-socks. He's so handsome. He's what?

I mean like, what's very attractive. No, that was like, it's not a given, you know? Of course. I've been like shaking hands twice, we've never really spoken, but I'm like, I'm transfixed. Gay guys love him. We've never really spoken but I'm like, I'm transfixed gay guys love them Because he's so straight Yeah, he's just like nondescript and he's like truly a good Christian seems he's a good

Yeah, oh He's gentle not being a fag that is so true. Yeah, which is like what you really want. And, well, yeah, I was in, okay. And he's down for all the Catholic stuff? Yeah, dude, I mean. Is he like a? When I met him, he was a catechumen to Russian orthodoxy. Oh.

So he's similarly religious, but in a slightly different way, which gives us a nice frisson. But I, okay, wait, can I just say? Okay, so I was in Paris in late January of last year, and I went to, I was like by myself, and I was going a lot of, I was doing a lot of last year. And I went to, I was like by myself. And I was, I was going a lot of, I was doing a lot of Catholic tourism. You were going to a lot of McDonald's.

I was eating at McDonald's every day exclusively because I was too scared to go to a French restaurant. That's what he mean to you. Because I didn't want anybody mean to me. And then just going to churches. And then I went to this spree of the Holy Spirit and I was praying and I was like, you know what? I was like, maybe you don't want me to get married, you know, and that's fine. I'll do your will on earth.

I'm here to do what God wants me to do. If he wants me to go crazy, I'll go fucking crazy. If he wants me to sell the coin. He wants me to go crazy, I'll go fucking crazy. If he wants me to sell the coin. If he wants me to sell cryptocurrency to build the ancestral wealth, he wants me, you know, whatever, I'm in tune with God's plan. So I'm like, you know, being, I'm on my Marianne Williamson, like mindful prayer.

I'm like, you know, like, I'm not asking for a husband, but like, if you want me to get married, just like, you know, like I'm not asking for a husband but like if you want me to get married just like Give me some indication and then three days later I'm ready. I came back to New York. I met Riley at my choose opening and he was like I'm a Orthodox catacuman religious guy handsome as hell Carpenter Carpenter. He looks so adagio. Carpenter. Like Joseph.

And Mary is my patron saint. Because you're a. Because I'm so virgin. Magdalene or the. No. Technically any Mary, but the virgin Mary. Yeah, okay. The virgin Mary.

Okay, great. Okay, I Virgin Mary. Okay. But it really boots any all the Marys. That's very sweet. But then, yeah, then I ran into my Riley and then I was like, I had a feeling very early on that we were getting married. And look at me now. There's no if you don't really if you're not religious, there's no, if you don't really, if you're not religious, there's no real point.

And like, unless you wanna have a family, unless you wanna finance a financial, like there are reasons. I think that if you meet somebody and you feel like so compelled, you should do it, but. Yeah, so don't have to do it. And you should not be like, sissified by Pinterest into pursuing some path there.

Even if you're with someone for like 10 years, doesn't the law, the government be like, oh now you're common law married. You're just married now, they place it on you. I said to my priest, my priest came to bless my apartment in January of last year again. Oh, you're in it. No, yeah, I'm a practicing Catholic.

So yeah, he came to my apartment. You're really. I go, yeah, and that's a normal thing. But some people is like more casual. Yeah, they're called cafeteria Catholics. And I respect them and it's fine, but whatever. Yeah, so he came to my, he was in my apartment, we were having Georgian takeout that I ordered and

he like gave me some book about like Art and I was like honestly, I was like I don't I was like I don't care I was like I was like if I don't get married I said I'm gonna have a baby on a wedlock and you're my priest that's gonna be your problem Oh, you're gonna have a single mother in your church with a baby and you're that's you're that's not that's gonna be your problem. You're gonna have a single mother in your church with a baby and that's gonna be on you. So yeah, he doesn't have to worry. He doesn't have to worry about that now. But yeah, I didn't really think,

but really this question to me was really about Pinterest. There's no way I remembered the question that was asked. I don't either. It was like, does she really wanna get married or is she just on Pinterest too much? No, she doesn't. Oh, get married. Yeah, do it. I mean, she should, but she doesn't.

You can get divorced. Yeah. Sorry. That's what I'm talking about. But that's bad. You can't. You shouldn't. You shouldn't enter into a marriage with the thought that you can get divorced.

You should at least have the idea. These things should not be casual. No one really. The best line the Clintons ever had You shouldn't enter into a marriage with the thought that you can get divorced. You should at least have the idea. Of course. No one really... The best line that Clintons ever had was that abortion should be safe, legal, and rare. Tea. Like a marriage. Like a marriage.

It should be sacramental, permanent, open to children. You shouldn't enter into a permanent life decision unless you know what you're doing. Yeah, but people do be changing drastically. I've been listening to a lot of Eminem, and he's really bad-pilled on marriage. His whole thing is like, you take mushrooms and get in a kiddie pool and freak out. His whole thing is like, I wanna kill my wife.

Yeah, and my daughter. No, he loves his daughter. But his daughter, Haley Jade, just yet? No, he loves his daughter. But his daughter, Haley Jade, just had a baby. It was his granddaughter. And she seems to be, he's like the youngest grandpa ever and they seem to be doing well. No, like I'm telling you, I'm 36 years old

and there are, I like to go on Facebook a lot, check in with my high school friends. Are you on Pinterest? No, I'm not on Pinterest, but I'm on Facebook. Yeah. And, you know, a girl in my class is a grandmother now. And she's 36. It's like, you know, hoes have ho daughters.

And the cycle repeats itself. 16, 16. It's kind of. There's something to it. It's like you have a kid young and then you're happy. You're well, because you're like, well, we have a beautiful big family now. And when your parents. I'm a 36-year-old grandmother. You are gonna hate me for this,

but this guy, Carmelo Anthony, who stabbed the white teen at the track meet. Oh, yeah. Okay, so his mom went on TV to defend him, which any mother would do, regardless of what your kid did. And she looked about his age. She looked like 17.

And then they wheeled out the grandma and she looked 17. I was like, oh, everybody in your family is 17. Yeah, they're all 17. But that's the thing is you have kids young and your parents have you young and then their grandparents are young. They can take care of their kids because they're, you know, it is, there is like a logic to it

and a way that things used to be done. And people complain that this is why feminism occurred because women were like milked at a young age and they grew resentful of it. But in a way that's beneficial because when you have a kid and you're like 36 and your kid's 17, you have your whole life ahead of you. Whereas all of us geriatric pregnancy moms

are like looking at the wall. Well, it depends on how you define yourselves. Like a lot of, most Americans like don't care about like, their job is just like what they do my life is their family and so like having a big family is like their whole life though yeah I think so yeah I think that used to be and so like you just paid the bills but you like your life is when you get home from work. It's not like, oh, no, is the nanny. It's like you're just you have a fucking huge family doing all the shit. And it's nice. It must be nice.

Well, it sounds like I'm almost I'm a COVID truth. Or I'm in the sense that I'm pro-COVID. We need to bring it back because during COVID, all these people who wouldn't have ordinarily, including myself, just had children. Cause there was nothing else to do. And we could postpone our lifestyle choices and do the right thing. To gestate.

My mom was 39 when I was 18. Yeah. That's crazy. She was my age. My age. And I was my age. It's the same age difference as me and Anna. That's crazy.

My mom was 39 when she had me. Wow. She had a lot of, I'm not gonna air my mom. Don't, please. There were some miscarriages between my brother and me. Can you just air the tea? Well, whatever. But I mean, also like hello, like that's part of life.

Yeah, yeah. I'm ashamed of that. No, no. that's part of life. Yeah, I am ashamed of that. No, no. Well, did you hear the statistic that I saw on Twitter that more women over 40 are having children now than teen moms? Oh, wait, for real? I mean, I'm- Having babies? Yeah.

Damn, that's crazy. I can kind of believe that. I believe it. Are there numbers supporting that? Where'd you find these numbers? No, there are. It's all over Twitter. That's my Bible.

Whatever they say on Twitter is true. No, I believe that that's true because it's all like women who are millennials who like postponed getting married and having children who are now doing a job and a career for us before you do anything. God forbid, use like welfare or social services. The other crazy thing is like everyone else.

Like I'm on, I'm on Raya, sorry. I'm also on Medicaid. You can be gay on Raya. Incredible dual, sorry. I'm also on Medicaid. You can be gay on Raya. Incredible. Duality, oh yeah. They all are. They kind of let everyone, there's a little Bushwick style, they're still doing the tiny sunglass thing

and they think they're God's gift to Earth. But it is, going back to like, You're like, I'm on Medicaid. I mean, when Anna did that debate with Grimes in LA, and you were espousing some pronatalist talking points, Ben Burgess, that socialist, who's overweight, said, he like cornered me and was like, don't you think it's really a class based, like we can have, we can't be natalist until we have like total

class equality, whatever. And I was like, look at what about Catholic Catholics are constantly having kids and they're poor. Poor people who are constantly, it's like, well, it's like the Steve Bannon mostly Catholic social. Remember the famous Steve Bannon line? And he was like socialism exists in America for the extremely poor and the extremely rich, so shrewd thing. Probably because all the middle class drivers such as myself were like brainwashed into postponing.

Well, you didn't postpone it that much. No, but like- You had a kid in the normal, like that's as if my kids were- It was in the normal range, but like you could have done it younger and I postponed it. But it's not-

But even- You could have done it younger if there was a single income family unit that was intact, that where a man was gonna provide for you and get you pregnant and give you a life. You couldn't have gotten pregnant when you lived in fucking Bushwick with... I mean, you could have. Black girls do it all the time.

I know, but it's just not... I sound like Ben Bird right now, which I'm not. Poor people have kids and they should, and it doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, you should reproduce. But it's not solely up to the individual. That's my most lived hard opinion there's a tweet going around which was like what's your most lived hard opinion and There's like this right when you're talking point that like actually aborted because the right wing is generally against abortion They're like pro-life, but they're typically they actually like make a carve out for abortions because it like Affects minorities like minorities be getting abortion. So they're like it's good that like these

People who we don't like who are like dysgenic whatever there's Yeah, I Actually think that like, it's good when people across the board be having kids. Yeah, of course. That's not Leptarta, that's Pro-Life. Which again circles back. To the dinosaur.

To the dinosaur. Could we take a bathroom break? Is that okay? Let's take another one. We have a couple more calls, but like. We have two more, let's take another break. I'm kind of. Please, please, please.

This is a really remarkable evening because I'm usually the one who has to go to the bathroom all the time. This might cause all the cars blown out. But you're so dehydrated from all the alcohol. Okay, I'm pausing. We were. We're back.

Oh, we're back, okay. Okay. All right, we got two more questions, I think. Hey ladies, mom, would you date someone you didn't find physically attractive? Thanks. you didn't find physically attractive. Thanks. Is that SNL Pat?

Was that like Melissa McCarthy? Who was that? Ladies, what do you think? You don't want physically, I mean, no. Honestly, no. I went on a couple dates recently with someone who was like not on track at all. Mm-hmm But to find physically attractive

Like someone, you know, I'm a tall man with a certain build and he was just Smaller and slightly or we had a lot in common and stuff, but I just wasn't fawning Yeah And it's not common and stuff, but I just wasn't fawning. Yeah. And it's not his problem. Sure. But, you know, it did come down to like, I'm not fantasizing about this. There's no fantasy.

Also there's no like, I just don't wanna do it. So yeah, I think there has to be a sexual component. Like, I mean, come on. That's very gay. Can I say an evil thing? Like, I think that sexual attraction is not the same thing as physical attraction. I think you,

Well, maybe. Someone can be objectively, physically unattractive and can have a charm about them. Oh yeah, I possess that too. There's there's men that I think are probably objectively fudgly that I would fuck like easily. But no, like this guy in front of me was conventionally attractive. Yeah. But I just like wasn't feeling the vibe. For sure. In that way I I agree, yeah. I wouldn't date someone that I had no, couldn't muster. How could you? But there have been people in my past

who maybe I wasn't super attracted to but who won me over, became more attractive to me through their personalities. Stand up comedy and other. Yeah, through them consistently holding you hostage. Badger you enough. We're describing Stockholm syndrome. Yeah.

But women will date anything. But it is really nice to be in a relationship with someone that you are physically attracted to. Yeah. I will say, that's, I, that is, You're like, this is rare. This is ideal, that's, I see why people do that. Yeah.

And that is ideal. Yeah, I think, you know, you can be maybe, because this is what my friends were talking about, oh, you have to like give it time. I, like, oh, you have to give it time. I'm like, listen, I'm middle-aged. That's the opposite. That's like people who are like, oh, we're taking a break. I know what intuition is telling me.

It's like, fine, I don't. I'd say the opposite is true, that you have to be so attracted to someone that, because with time, you lose attraction to people. Absolutely. So you have to start off. Even extremely hot people. Exactly, you have to start off. Even if you're really hot people, you're like, you're stuck in your mundane.

Exactly, you have to start off with such a high base level. Dates not mid, and chances are, you're probably mid too. Everyone's mid. Everyone needs to lower their standards. Everyone is mid, yeah. If you're calling to a podcast, you're absolutely mid.

Probably. And you know, that's fine. Or maybe you are. I'm too, I'm mid. Maybe you have something that's wrong with you. I'm like your New York five No, la6 Rochester New York like eight point five

Good skin Think you're hotter in LA. Yeah. No. Oh, no, the men love me in LA. They're clamor. I don't know what the gay I don't know the men love me in LA. They're clamor. That's why I'm moving here. I don't know what the gay scene is like in any of these cities. They just are captivated by my candor and like, I've spoken there.

Right, right. They're all fucking conformist liars in LA. They're just like silent and like annoying. I'm like, oh, I'm talking. They're like, oh, okay, we like that. You're not a New York five. I'm not a five, no. I really, okay, so what number am I?

Don't tell me, tell me. Seven. Six. Seven? I? Don't tell me. Tell me. Seven. Six. Seven. Seven. I was gonna go with seven. Seven at most. I'll take seven.

Seven's good. Seven's good. It's above average. Seven's an upper medium. I'm not like mincing on the cobblestone treats of Soho going to Equinox as a male model. That's a 10. But those, is that a 10 though?

Like. My question is like, is your rejection, Oh, go into Equinox as a male model. That's a 10. Is that a 10 though? My question is, is your rejection, not your personally, but is one's rejection of conventional attractiveness a cope? I don't really understand the question. What is cope? In a partner? Yeah. No.

Well, cope is like a Twitter thing that I never really got. I don't know. Well, Cope is like a Twitter thing that I never really got. I don't know if Floyd. You can't do better, so you convince yourself that you're attracted to people that are less attractive. Oh, no. By the way, for the record, I've hooked. I've done way outside of my league so many times. Same.

Like, actually more often than not. We're looking at Antonio Sabato and who are these? These actresses. Dan can you back me up on this? Have you ever been with a guy this attractive? You've never dated a fugly guy. No I just be having the hot boyfriends. Yeah. You ever been with a guy that looks like that? A guy that looks like Antonia Sobovich Jr. in the Calvin Klein era? No, but like honestly, when I was like 25 going to like the gay bars in Williamsburg,

I mopped up, I had a full head of hair, I was thin, I was wearing a little leather jacket. Deep V. It's so easy, by the way, it's so easy to convince people that you're attractive if you just like act the part. You don't easy. Oh, dear. By the way, it's so easy to convince people that you're attractive if you just act the part. You don't even have to be like. No, but I lost my looks, you know, and then I had to replace it with.

Wrong. I didn't completely lose them, but like, you know, I'm maybe better at chatting than I was back in the day. No, the gays are. The laurels have been lost. The gay community is sick and twisted. They're uniquely neurotic because they're so hung up

on youthfulness and looks. And that's all wrong. You're so hot. No, I mean. You are. I think that too. Actually, if you were straight. I'm not totally distraught.

We all suffered from auto-gynophilia or we think we're way hotter than we are. If you were straight, maybe I wouldn't be walking down the aisle two days from now, you know? Maybe. You would make a really great couple. Maybe I'd be holding out hope for Dan Elagretto.

For Elagretto. Well, unfortunately. Unfortunately. I was built differently. Wrong. It's ships in the night. Lord. Unfortunately, unfortunately built differently wrong Ships in the night Lord This is the last one

So one final question It's a male question, but it's something I've been thinking about a lot recently What do you think a Roman Catholic who is a male homosexual is to do? Should we become priests? Or should we be celibate lay people? Or should we keep having sex and live in mortal sin and just feel really bad about it? Or should we do that and not feel bad about it? I don't know. Jack Mason says one thing and Pariah the doll says another and it really stresses me out.

So I would love your guys' input. Congratulations on everything. You guys always do a great job. Bye bye. Well, you know, I, you know, Matthew Davis was a guest on the podcast. I don't know why he has to call in now. Nothing.

Sorry, I was, Dasha, again, this is your fault. You created this man from a test tube and now he's like concerned. He's like, what do I do? He seems to, he's in Jack and blah blah blah. Jack Mason and try that out. Oh, I don't know what to say, Dasha, Jack and blah blah blah. Jack Mason, try that out. Oh, I don't know what to do. I have no backbone.

I have nothing. I can't possibly be my own person. These other people on the internet said a thing. What did I do? This is wrong. Why are you a Catholic? Well.

I mean, like, you can just be one from birth, but like, it seems like there's no conviction. It's just kind of like, well, what do I do? And like, do you like me? No. No. Stop listening to other people. We like you, we like you, we like you, we love you.

Hey, you're fine. You're so great. You were born in the. You were, God elected you to be born this time. I hate these gay and annoying sexual hangups people be having. They're fake. You shouldn't be like a unrepentant sinner

if you are gonna be Catholic. You shouldn't be like. But there's a natural conflict between being religious and being gay. But there are gay people in the church. And I don't think- All the priests of the Catholic church. Of the Roman Catholic church.

But it's not- It's true. I don't think, like, when Christians get on their like homophobia tip, it's like you lose sight of the fact that we all are like, bound to like, we all were born in sin. Well, we're all mundane, fallible beings. Yeah, like.

This is like a new thing in the last like, 10-ish years though, 15. It's not a new thing, it's like fundamental. We're like, oh maybe like, gay people are. No, I feel like this is an ongoing thing. It's a a new thing, it's those fundamental... Oh, maybe gay people are... No, I feel like this is an ongoing thing. It's a trend in people's consciousness. We've put enough pressure on the forces at large that maybe...

But you have to ask yourself as a gay guy, why do you seek to be religious? Well... I don't know. And if you are truly religious, then you have to recuse yourself. Because they listened to Dasha, and she got in their head. She's like, and Jack, and all these other people,

hey, listen to podcasts, and now I'm this person. You should screen time. Don't send checks in, only. Check out. Don't check in only check out Um, I Mean you can be gay and Catholic many such cases. I think I technically am you are yeah I would like to you know Go into a church and like light a candle and say a prayer. You can absolutely do that

I'm probably not going to masses but like in 20 years maybe they'll be different. I would love to be a- Andy Warhol was a Eastern right Catholic I don't know why. Who went to masses. But he was asexual. Exactly, he lived his truth in his own celibate. I would love to be a true conservative right wing person

who under no circumstances permitted people of aberrant sexualities into my faith, which I don't have but I Like the gay guys I wonder if like Tim Gunn and like Bill Cunningham are Catholics to because like they're to me they like the very talented Yeah, interesting gay guys like the very talented, interesting gay guys. Yeah, Tim Gunn is a guy. Well, you were talking about how you were watching Project Runway. I've been watching Project Runway,

and then I was at a trivia night. Project One Way. At the place I was drinking five beers. Oh, you had a flight. At my flight of beers, they had a trivia night, and they had some prompt that was like, "'Under the Gun' is a spin-off of what show?" And I had never seen Under the Gun, didn't really know,

but I immediately, I was like, holy shit, of course Tim Gunn had a spin-off of Roderick One-Way and this is exactly what they're talking about and I was right. I just rewatched making the cut, the Amazon show with Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn, the prize is like one million dollars. Tim Gunn is like a classic.

It's not even that much of a project. What do you mean? Sorry, what? Tim Gunn, he's like a classic repressed homosexual. Oh yeah, totally. He reminds me of my wine mariner. When I first moved to New York, I was like week one in New York City,

I was in the Flatiron neighborhood and I was standing behind him. Whoa! Pinstripe suit and a jacket. I wanted to just grab him and be like, you are the most important person in my life. He is so informative. You guys.

Wait, Daja, what's happening on your phone? She's on the phone. Tim Gunn's father was in the FBI. He was an FBI agent and then was a ghost writer for J. Edgar Hoover. But though he identified as gay, he was raised in an intensely homophobic household. And he made a video for the It Gets Better project

that said he attempted suicide at age 17 by swallowing over 100 pills. Tim Gunn? Yeah, and he did not come out until he was 29. I Don't know how he's correct. He's a repressed. Well, he's yeah, I mean, he's probably not I don't know It's hard to say different time. He's like probably 70 years old now. You know, you know can't really compare I can't really compare. I get it. But.

He describes himself as Christian. I think he had like a big love and then it was lost and then he just never tried to bound back. Right. He wrote a book called Guns Golden Rules in which he discusses his faith and he has publicly stated that he's celibate, which some associate with his religious beliefs.

I would love to have him. Oh my God, I would love to have him go on the podcast. Holy shit. All I do every day all day is watch Project Runway on the Amazon Prime. They have the channel's Project Runway. I started watching Project Runway because Elena Velez making my dress for the reception

sent me to Mood to get fabric. Thanks, Mood. And I was like, Mood, like make it work? Like I have to go to Mood and I have to look at the fabrics? Wait, why did you have to do that? Well, there was a specific like stretch and type of fabric that I needed to get. And Well, there was a specific stretch and type of fabric

that I needed to get. And she wanted me to pick it, because whatever. Okay, sure, yeah, I don't know how this works. I've never been a bride. Me neither. Me neither. But I went to Mood and then I was like, I gotta go home and wash my project wrong way.

Thanks, Mood. And there's a dog, the dog that lives there is like this old pug in its name. Oh god. What's the name? It's like See the pot. I didn't see a dog. It might be dad sassle. It's like Whatever Walking there was as spectacular as it was? It felt very, some of the other fabric stores I went to were more inclusive. And this had, there was like, there was two trans people in the elevator discussing how

tall they were from Long Island, they were like, I'm tall, but I'm not that tall. And she's like, well, I'm tall for a model. And they were like tranny models that were there getting fabric for something. And it was very, it felt very mood and it was very chaotic. But it was like, you have to ask someone to help you and if you're not. You don't have to ask a middle-aged man, you have to ask someone to help you if you're not.

Or you don't have to ask a middle-aged man, golly golly, to help you. Please, I can't even lift the, you know. Whereas some of the other ones, they're like bringing them a swatch and they kind of take care of it for you. But mood doesn't do you any favors because they have the reputation.

Right. But if you're a gay guy, yeah, just as long as you don't deny the sin in your life, you can be Catholic. What do you mean if you don't deny the sin in your life? As long as you're not like, it's not a sin to be gay. But if you say, I struggle with the sin of homosexuality and I like want to be participate in over-lives. And that's a huge thing, that's something you can't really

prescribe or tell anyone how to figure that out. Okay, here's my question. But we all have a sin in our eyes. Is homosexuality a sin if it's a natural phenomenon? How could it be a sin? It's Catholics. I would say get to the bottom of whether homosexuality is a genetic thing or an environmental thing. I don't think we're going to crack that case. But if it is a genetic thing, then that's not a sin. I think some portion of the population has to be homosexual by definition.

But I would say so many things are sins. Yeah. Including homosexuality, including like aberrant sexual urges, non-procreative straight sex, basically everything besides praying and like lighting a candle is a sin. Yeah. You know. Are you going to wear white on your wedding? Hmm, well that's probably a sin too. That's like a made up thing. But it's not, yeah, people, it's ironic.

Right. It's not a sin to be ironic. But it is a sin to have tons of pre-marital sex, you know? Which, obviously, yeah. But yes, everybody has this, including straight people, so. Yeah yeah, it's not I don't make a special distinction for Homosexuality is like a unique sin. I think like it's one of many wait I do Know and you say you you're taking the genetic I mean, I'm a huge fag hag, but if I mean, I'm a huge fag hag, but if.

OK, wait, I'm so drunk, I can't. We're all sinner. That's the point of being Christian is that every single person is a sinner. Yeah. Yeah, but some people except for Jesus and Mary in a distinct way called having gay sex. It's not that distinct from because having anal sex as a normal person. Just by definition also implies only procreative sex, which God knows we don't always have. Some Catholics think oral sex is sodomy. Yeah.

Oh my God. Can you like- I see myself- Lord have mercy. I feel like life is like kind of like the Ren fair. I always just, I think that life probably got stuck in like the 1800s. And the role of homosexuals is like,

you're kind of like hiding behind a tree, waiting to like suck a straight guy off. And it's like, there's all you should ever hope for is like you get to like true blow a guy. Yeah, and and now we're at the point I mean the calls we were like I'm in Canada. I'm trying to go to China and like find a baby We've been together for eight years When we have guests like Dan Oleg Rado You gotta like just stay behind the tree and suck. When we have guests like Dan Alagretto. So true.

They're singing the gospel being like thin and fertile and Republican. I'm very thin. Why are your tongues, that's, you know. And being a straight woman with kind of a gay or a half-man's orientation is amazing. The role of homosexual in life, I'm always questioning or I'm just like, what are we?

Where are we? What is? Well, that's kind of what this guy's I like to be like, I want to be hiding in a tree. Generally, I'll pop out, suck someone off, and that's it. I pop back out tree and I don't know if there's like This is even translating on but in practice Dan you will hate to hear this but in practice you were more

Christian like person than most people. Yeah, probably cuz I was raised right my fucking head You know also hated it the entire time mostly. I know, but it's like a formative part of your character. Not a priest, but like someone above a priest. Bishop. Bishop, he came to, this is like also when all the like sex scandals came out in like the Catholic church.

My family never once asked me, were you ever molested by a priest? Well, why would they? Well, because everyone was getting touched. It wasn't a problem in the Ukrainian community. It sounded like Putin now. It was an Irish issue. But a bishop came to town.

I'm telling you, the Irish are a problem. It was a Roman Catholic issue. A bishop came to town and he put his ring out and all the older boys had to kiss his ring. I kissed an elderly man's ring. And that was the only time. That's straddling. That is how you're a me too, love it.

A brief conversation at breakfast in my grandparents' house. They're like, yeah, we don't know if we liked that so much. That like, our little boy kissed a man's ring. Because you hear that, it's like, oh, I'm not gonna kiss the ring. I'm never gonna kiss the ring. But I literally kissed the ring,

and I was like, this is icky, this is like very bad. It just felt like awful. You know what I mean? But that wasn't a sex thing. That's just a traditional not not a sex thing, though. That is a kind of camera. Sex or anything from it's so true. That is, yeah, just the there's a power. Play and I mean, of course, the mortificate Catholicism

is very erotic on many levels. I'll kiss your ring at your wedding. We don't need you to do that. I'll do it. I'll do it again. No, no. No need. This episode is also going to come out

two weeks after she's married. Oh, that's great. Yeah, but like, but imagine the image of, I mean, a little boy kissing a grown man's ring is like, maybe it's not aging well. I'll say it's not aging well. People are still doing it. Yeah, well I did it.

They're out there. Kissed the ring, I kissed, I was like, You should be happy you weren't molested. I remember being like, I wanna do this. It felt like, honestly, it felt like a slight molestation. Don't you think it's good to do things you don't wanna do? It depends.

It builds character. It's led me to this point in my life where I'm a middle-aged man hosting a podcast that no one listens to. That's not true. No, people do, I've actually. People do be listening to your podcast. And you're a beloved character.

You're an amazing podcaster. I'm really so impressed by the stamina. It's just, you know. The strength of character. To do a, if I had to say, if Anna goes to the bathroom, I'm like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,, I can't talk like that. You are able to do a podcast mostly by yourself. You're able to.

It's 95% by myself. That's like a genius. Thank you. I mean, in the olden days, if you were if God elected you to be born in a different era, you'd be making like spoken word No, you would have been like a covert homo and like a wild, you know, like some books gesture or a hybrid tree Yeah, it's just like that's how I feel even in this current day. I'm like I don't mm-hmm I like to look kind of normal, passing, but I'm kind of covert.

I like to be covert. Yes, encrypted. But I'm not saying that people shouldn't be out and proud, but for me. No, they shouldn't be. That's my big issue with gay rights. No, no. It's like everybody's too out and proud.

I love gay guys, but they shouldn't be that proud. Well, pride is one of the biggest sins, actually, and we're all guilty of it. You should literally never be proud of of it and the gay guys are the only ones who made it Pride weekend and I also think it used to be we can do a long week we do a long weekend for black has your month and Pride we do one day for women a weekend for gays Day one day for gays and give her, women get a day, one day.

I think you guys are fine, we don't need a. A month for what? We don't need a weekend for women anymore. A month cheapens the trauma. Exactly. It's too long. One day. How is there to know? People forget it's Pride Month.

Pride used to be a week, yeah, it used to be short. Give it a, well, I'll take a weekend, long weekend, though. Like. Four days. Thursday to Tuesday. Hmm. Come on Monday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday, that's five days. That's that's like 20 something gay guy. It's a normal weekend That's a normal weekend Working a full-time like PR job. Yeah, right. Yeah

Yeah, actually don't give them a month to give them like five days off in a row. Yeah from there like email HR jobs To go suck off straight guys And that would be way more LGBTQ a plus positive than like a whole month of like ambient rainbow stuff. Yeah. I couldn't agree more. Let's just give them some days off. Like the Jews, give them some special holidays. The Jews do be having like so many holidays,

which I love because like as a car owner in New York City, sometimes like a random Jewish holiday hits you. It's like, oh yeah, it was Tuesday and I have to move the car like, oh okay. I don't want a free Palestine. I want a free parking spot. What about a free parking spot? Anyway. Well, guys.

Let's call it. Are we calling? I have to go to... I'm so drunk. I have to go to... Oh, I know. I feel calling? I have to, I have to. I'm so drunk. I have to go to. Oh, I know. I feel like when I stand up from this chair. Uh huh.

I might fall over. No. Oh no, but we wouldn't have for a while. I know it's a hard job, but someone's gotta do it. There's like skin contact wine, the Anaball. Skin contact, kombucha, hard kombucha, red wine, orange wine. Esoterico. Oh my god.

Yeah, I don't know. Cigarettes. I love that vibe. I like parent wine, just like shitty red wine. Me too, I hate orange. Why'd you buy this crap? Because it's like, what was the name? Orange?

It's what you buy, it's what you do. It's just what, so like getting married, it's just something you do. You drink the orange wine, you. Well? We'll see you in hell. We'll see you in hell. Wait, no, hold on. You drink the orange wine. You. Well. We'll see you in hell. We'll see you in hell. Wait, no, hold on.

Well, guys, if you like this, if you've made it this far, please subscribe to my Patreon. Definitely. If you're at two hours and 51 minutes, you're gonna love. There are also free episodes on Spotify and iTunes. Thank you. See if you can get a taste. See if you like it.

Thank you, Dan. Thank you so much. I love you like it. Thank you, Dan. I love you to death. Thank you so much. And see you in hell. See you in hell. you