Red Scare - The Wolk Agenda w/ Ivy Wolk

Episode Date: November 11, 2023

Actress and comedian Ivy Wolk joins the ladies to discuss zoomers, #MeToo, Matthew Perry, Morrissey, and more....

Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Music What's it about? Something you want. But it's not a lot of things. Your UN problem is crazy. It's not a problem. It's a solution. You love the fucking UN. Yeah, I really do.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Now is a riddle and the solution is that you want. Yeah, more than ever. We need United Nations. I need to unite the nations. I just love, like, I started following them on Instagram when they had goods. They post all these, like, just, like, very diplomatic platitudes just being, like, we can damn suffering. It's like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:59 You're like, yeah, it's so true. Oh, my God, I do it. You're like, what's wrong with suffering? It's wrong with suffering. I do it. I do it. I do it. Oh my god, I do it. You're like, what's wrong with suffering? That's wrong with suffering.
Starting point is 00:01:09 I mean, that's a good question. I need to suffer actually. The headphones are so big. You need to suffer for your art. We have an amazing guest. Our youngest guest ever. The youngest woman to ever live the very very talented triple threat yeah wait for a singer dancer comedian writer right go like retarded retarded dick sucker
Starting point is 00:01:47 Skip second dick from the back I'm a massive fan I stand with Ivy Woke Woke Volk I call you woke Yeah I know I'm mad woke
Starting point is 00:02:01 Ironically Not so woke Okay on the spot right away Yeah well you're a bit of a little Nazi Um, that was... Ironically, not so well. Okay, on the spot right away. Yeah, well, you're a bit of a little Nazi, but being Jewish. On the damn spot. I mean, you're like, wait, how old are you? Nineteen. Okay, so only Dosh and me are drinking wine.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Yep. Yeah. I'm drinking my cranberry juice that I got from the Deli to the cranberry. So you're literally half my age, that's crazy. I could be your mother. Mm-hmm. And you are too many. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:32 But I guess you are a mother. Yeah, you are. You are. I ate nothing wrong with that. Well, you've left x. Yeah, I'm just, you call, you not denaming her. I'm just, cut that, cut that, cut that. I y'all cut that, cut that. Ay yo cut that cut that.
Starting point is 00:02:45 I yo cut that. Um, but yeah, you are a zoomer. I'm zoomer. Yeah. Probably 2004 represent. What's going on with, uh, with zoomers? They're not having sex. They're, they're, they're fucking, but it's like a trepidaceous sort of fucking.
Starting point is 00:03:08 I was talking about this the other day. I went to, so me, my sneaky link, they're mentally ill. They're mentally ill and miserable. They're heavily medicated. heavily okay. I want to get into this because I post... They're physically unfit. Or being held to unconventional beauty standards hard to say hard to say
Starting point is 00:03:26 yes and their fat is shit or fat is it amhouse or recceed on or the right wing had a moment a couple of months ago where they were claiming that zoomers are based but I'm like a moderate centrist on this and I think they're probably like no more less based than any other generation. Yeah, I mean, the thing is like, based isn't the eye of the beholder, right? Like, when the right wing says, zoomers are based, but what was that coming from? What was, what, what, what, what was the example they were citing? I think it was one of those sexual revolution type things
Starting point is 00:04:05 where they were making the case that Zoomers were rejecting, like... Oh, we're not fucking because we tried. Yeah, yeah, like exactly. That's not what it is. Rejecting the debauchery and licentiousness. I do want to talk about that. Or over-sexualized epoch,
Starting point is 00:04:19 but I think it's like literally because, no offense, you guys are heavily medicated mentally, and therefore delving into the deeper and more esoteric forms of neuroticism. Oh, absolutely. I was talking about this, so I was at nowadays, the other day, which is like a cute little bush on the floor. I've even moved to New York recently.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Yeah, I'm exploring all the hot and I'm exploring all the hot and deep but I think you're girl. I know I think it's just like something about my my sensibilities are just so east just so far east but I was talking about this because I was with my sneaky link his friend and then we met a public defender at the bar and we were just like talking and drinking and smoking whatever and I was just like I Started going on my my sort of I do this kind of Polymick that I do want to talk about here about why?
Starting point is 00:05:18 Why men aged 18 to 27 are neutered Yeah, it's one. Number one, ding. Post me to cockshame. Two, SSRI prescription at an early age. Three, juvenile porn addiction. Yes. Four, mother's voice in ear.
Starting point is 00:05:45 But that's, yeah, that doesn't go away when they get older. Yeah, true, but. And that's true of all men for a time. True, but the thing is now your mother can text you. Now your mommy can track your location. Yeah, and she knows when you, you're getting your dick wet. She knows when you, when you five and a half inches deep
Starting point is 00:06:03 in a bisexual girl from fucking Ridgewood, okay? In a tranny. Yeah, she knows, she ner, okay. But yeah, so. All interesting factors. All interesting factors. I think that, yeah, men these days are like, I think like, okay, so the Me Too movement.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Let me just go. Okay, okay. Let me just go off. The Me Too movement was started by Gen X women, right? But because- Perry Metaposal. It's the drugs that we can. What?
Starting point is 00:06:38 Don't. No, no, boop. All this stuff you describe about like, Z or men, which also kind of applies to zoom or women, the fact that people identify as NB or like whatever, what's the other one? I think that's it. There's just so, welcome to the old podcast. Welcome to the old, please. What pronouns are you get using these days?
Starting point is 00:07:05 What pronoun is? Back in mind. It's so weird that I should pronoun news you. Back in my day, we were bogging at the balls. At the psych ward. And you kids now at age. The house of extravagans. Okay, but what I'm saying is that they're like literally just like functionally biologically envy.
Starting point is 00:07:27 But the thing is they're neuter. No, they're pumped full of SSRIs and seed oil. Actually, okay, not too much on the seed oil is like just ate a pop tart in your home. It's okay. I eat seed oil every day. I'm a seed oiled fruit there. All of the like queer people I know are fucking more than like Gen Z heterosexual. fucking more than Gen Z heterosexual males, like straight men are not fucking it away.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Non-binary people of our same age are at all. Because the thing with the queer community, especially in New York, is it's insular and they're all kind of, it's like family tree a wreath. Like, they all fucking each other, but like, they fuck a lot. They're virile. They are committed to their art. It's very, I like it. I like being around them because like, especially in like Brooklyn, they're very like, some of them can get a little woke school D, which I mean, but that's part of the course for any zoomer group, you know, is house of us still standing? Yeah, I think so, but I've never been. I've driven past it though.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I've like, I've acknowledged it, but I've never. But, um, you know, they're fucking and they're like making their art and they're like, it's very, they're very bohemian in a way that like, I feel like Gen Z men are really uptight. Like it seems like- Does it have a Y-mark kind of feeling would you say? Like as in like come to the cabaret. Yeah. A little bit, but like in a sheet way.
Starting point is 00:08:56 That's why I'm on the Nazis. I'm on the Nazis made it. It's sheet. But like Gen Z men like straight guys are really like that sort of past them by like this sort of the way that like young queer people have sort of like Rejoiced and found solace and just like fucking and sucking and like kind of being nasty. It's like The guys that I'll like go on dates with their hook up with are very like shameful and worried dates with their hook up with, they're very shameful and worried. They fear a lot. The thing is, it's so night and day, because the Gen Z queer people are like, the whole
Starting point is 00:09:29 thing is like, and this is what bothers older people are, people who are not sympathetic to this, but they're so proud about it. They're so proud about who they are and they're so proud. They're so proud about who they are, and they're so shameless, you know? And it's like, and people cast their gaze to them. They're like, oh, that's degenerate. It's your two, whatever you do to this, that I would much 100 fucking times over rather be with those people than a guy
Starting point is 00:09:59 who's like, I can't let my friends know I'm fucking you because you're four years younger than me. Yeah, yeah. That is so annoying. Well, okay, but that's the big issue with the quote sexual revolution. It didn't lead to more debauchery and degeneracy as conservatives like to claim it actually led to sexlessness.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Yes, absolutely. It's, yeah. We did pass the point where there was the free love. Yeah, past free love, but right now we're in a place of just total like kind of Sexual uptightness Had a resexuals are really bearing the brunt of it. I mean the women. It's like this is not how we're meant to women are not meant to be like A man that you're hooking up with should want a fucking parade you around the bar in front of all his friends Yeah, yeah, you're hooking up with should like want to fucking parade you around the bar in front of all his friends. A man that you're hooking up with should want to grab a lesson public. Women want to be flattered actors and guys.
Starting point is 00:10:51 And I guess the big problem is that with degeneracy and debauchery isn't that it's bad or sinful or un-Christian. It's that it literally yields an asexual, easty blob situation where people are too scared to fuck. Yeah people are too scared to fucking in my generation. People are really like I mean they are fucking it's like if you go to like like liberal arts college for example that's like a hot I mean partially it's because everybody there is queer or like some sort sort of secret third thing where it's like, you are straight and you are like fat.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Yeah. You're not trans, you're not gay, but you do have hormonal birth control upper arm. You know, or it's like, okay, maybe... Wait, what that means? You know when you're on hormonal,, women's on hormones, birth control, and the upper arm kind of collects some fat when the upper arm gets a little fleshy and weak. Yeah, that's not known that.
Starting point is 00:11:53 That is taking liberal arts colleges by... Uh-huh. That is killing these heifers, okay? But okay, but what you're saying is that like, people want to fuck and they'll always find a way But the problem is that now they're doing it with all this like annoying Has a tation and ritual that like takes the fun out of Yes, people are always gonna fuck but it's like there's so much kind of looking over your shoulder and kind of just like a hesitancy to like fully lean into the fun and the the debauchery of sex that is so annoying and tacky.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Can you just write my ass say for me? Yeah, I would. I totally would because I have a lot to say about it. Okay, well like I was saying earlier, it's like the me too movement was made by... Paramanopausal women. Paramanopausal Gen X women. Yes, many of whom we made this point before, many of whom like traded on their sexuality and looks like Ashley Judd, Ozzie Arhento, Rose MacGowen, all of the Aramani, yes, a lot
Starting point is 00:12:53 of these women were, you know. A list of Milano. Oh yeah, how could we forget? Yeah, a lot of these women were off. Mabami too, from the House of Times Up. Coming to the stage, Mabami too, Milano from the house of times up Coming to the stage mother me to Milano from the house of times up Milano extravaganza Let's serve cunt, but let's say no But yeah, they of course they were all like
Starting point is 00:13:19 Sex up little starlets and now are you know hitting the wall the wall, hitting the wall aging. And so they cooked up me too, so they could weaponize their sexuality once again, but in this like, it's interesting. So they could punch men and also younger, hotter women who can still leverage their sexuality to get roles and. I never thought about it through the lens of celebrity like that. That is very, that is quite interesting, because like I said, I am you know Been reading a lot about celebrity culture and sort of notorious celebrities and like Women who have been sort of kind of excoriated and like the pop cultural court of opinion
Starting point is 00:13:53 Yeah And that is interesting that is an interesting read and I will think that one well isn't it isn't so funny and like queer the Me too was all about Hollywood and actresses Yeah, it was sending me like too was all about Hollywood and actresses. Yeah, it was sent to me. Not at all about women who actually run the risk of being the victim. But here's my sex right into my point.
Starting point is 00:14:15 So it started as that, right? And then Gen Z, we have the tools and the knowledge to be able to spread these victim narratives and these testimonies, like the testimony is currency. As we have the, we know how to spread it better than the people that started this because people that started as bumbling on their iPhones, you're assisted as typing out your tweets.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Now it's like, it's transferred over to people who are canceling people who are not famous, who have not really transgressed against people in any sort of like institutional or powerful way. Some of these, you know, offenses are that I've seen people post like IG stories about, you know, they're, they're bad and I'm like, yeah, that's a shitty guy. Some of them I'm like, okay, like being uncomfortable is not the same thing as being in danger mama, but that's neither here nor there Mm-hmm, but like Now it's transferred down so it started in Hollywood with like women who are older and now it's like because Gen Z Has the tools and the knowledge to be able to spread these stories better than those who started it now
Starting point is 00:15:21 It's like a kind of on the ground who started it, now it's like a kind of on the ground, proletariat kind of like person to person type thing. And so people are able to sort of share these stories that once were shared about like directors and executives and whatever, about just like a guy that goes to your school or something. They've weaponized it as like a weaponry
Starting point is 00:15:42 against a civilian populist, which it wasn't really intended to be used again. When it's now, it's not like, I mean, I guess time's up was Hollywood. Me too was sort of just like correlated, but it's genuinely sharing like general, sexual assault stories, but now it's like. But time's up never really popped off.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Yeah, yeah, it was also like a fake, like auxiliary hashtag. For richer men, but me too. But yeah, it's like I think that a lot of men now are sort of in the fallout of me too, and then the fallout of me too, and still experiencing it, me too is transfer on to Gen Z and the power that that gives us. Yeah. Because it's you, the girls have the power now to sort of like have their victim moment in the sun and sort of like get the eyes on them while also not really it's just sometimes I look at these things and I go is this the best way we can deal with that? I don't doubt that these people are genuinely traumatized
Starting point is 00:16:38 by whatever was transverse against them, but I always think it's like top down, even from like the beginning of this, the genesis of this with like the celebrities to now, I'm like, is this the way that we should be dealing with this? To me, it seems like it's just the way we know how to deal with this. The mind reels. Yeah, with the tools that we've been giving. No, I feel like my feeling always was that like, this is bad, not because it's like unjust or like a witch hunt, but because it teaches young women the wrong lesson, which is like, we know that people are meant to move on from
Starting point is 00:17:13 trauma. And the other thing is like, we've said this on the pod like many times over. My feeling is that women have to make it, have to build it as being mad at the fact that men are like aggressive and hostile, but really they're angry at the fact that men are oblivious and indifferent. So I think the attention that you get from being a me too victim is like a surrogate activity for the attention you would get from a man who would parade you around town and slap your ass. Or a man in the care that he hurt you. Yeah, it's so it's sort of bringing the eyes on you. And it's just, it's interesting to me because like, I mean, it's, I don't know. I'm like, I was on one the other night and I was really talking about this and now I'm sort of blanking on like my general blanking
Starting point is 00:17:59 and general and make so severely brain dead. I'm just gonna be like the mute Indian from one floor over the cook is now. Well, also you think that pornogue, the young exposure to pornography has had deleterious effect. Oh, yes, well, yes, absolutely. I'm inclined to agree. I absolutely. Dachie, you made this point like many pods ago that like porn addiction is different when we're talking about men who had like a normal sexual upbringing and then got into porn at a later age versus people who are born into that life. Exactly. I make this point all the time. It's like, listen to like Jen X and Millennial men speak about like early kind of Mr. Beto or your sexual experience experience. And it's always like, yeah, I have this picture of like, like a woman in a magazine and she had a
Starting point is 00:18:49 or a ghost on the leg. She was showing her ankle. Yeah, it's like I dropped it. And it's like, that was eroticism. And now it's like a boy can be but of 12. And he can literally just watch like, he can go to like, And like watch a video of a woman having exactly that happen.
Starting point is 00:19:06 It's like the immediacy of the intent, the what you can watch is now is so intense and it's so accessible, whereas like back in the day. And men aren't anymore any less misogynistic or whatever than, or violent than they were than that they are now. But it is just interesting and I, well, they might be less violent. I think they and I I think they're less violent because they're fucking
Starting point is 00:19:27 neutered, but you know, but also it's like I feel like down the line. I mean, we already see it. The guys that I engage with are so like sort of porn sick and like they're very they're kind of formed by early experiences with pornography and having I just burped into the mic, having that be like your, too much of juice. Yes, juice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Having that be like your first experience with any sort of like eroticism or sexuality is so that it's so it must fry you. I was lucky that I only ever watched porn for the first time because, literally because in my eighth grade Spanish class, I had a friend who was like, I'd been jacking off to porn, and I was like, I had no concept of my own sexuality
Starting point is 00:20:13 at that time, I wouldn't for a while, but I was just curious, and I used to sort of watch it as if it was TV or a movie. Like I provided me no sexual gratification, I didn't even have that within me. But maybe that's how a lot of these boys feel too, because they're not even. They're not even.
Starting point is 00:20:32 So it's like they are watching porn in a more voyeuristic kind of curious way at like 10, 11 years old, whereas I was like 13, 14, and I was like, this is funny. I can't believe people take this seriously and are laughing at this. But like he was like, this is funny. I can't believe people take this seriously and are laughing at this. But he was like, Gently was like, dude,
Starting point is 00:20:48 I watched the hottest fucking, like whatever. In eightth grade Spanish class, and I was just like, that was kinda, I realized I was like, oh my God, like dudes be jacking it, like and y'all young,
Starting point is 00:20:59 y'all won't stick yo dick in a wet ass pussy for many a year. And it's just like, and there's no, like men used to have to like really seek it out, you know? You had to get a porno tape, you had to get a fancy. And if you had some weird fetish, it was even harder to go to the bill and all that much more satisfying.
Starting point is 00:21:17 And now it's like men are starting with fetish. It's like the similar argument they make about a music streaming versus like collecting record. Right. You had to really have a refined palette and seek out the things. And a lot of your like early like formative experiences were accidental, which made them more pure. Yes. Yes. And now it's more formative. And now it's like even if it'll start accidentally, like many young men stumble or in women to stumble upon pornography, just because it's like on the internet and it's easy.
Starting point is 00:21:49 But then, you know, you kind of it syncs, it's so weird. Well, and just as our bodies are primed to move on from trauma or minds are primed to seek out sexually explicit material, not on the internet. We're trying to retry trigger ourselves. And that's also what I think about the whole thing of the victim testimony as social currency thing
Starting point is 00:22:11 is like, it can't be the right way to deal with it. It's the way we know how to deal with it right now, given the technology that we have and given the popularity of it. But I wonder if it'll get worse or if in like 20, 30 years, we're gonna look back and at the way we spoke about sexual assault and we're gonna be like, well, that was harmful
Starting point is 00:22:32 for all of us. It's definitely gonna get worse before it gets better. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And I hope the pendulum swings the other way, but I feel like collectively we just like, we don't know how to really address it. This is the way we figured out. How to address it. This is the way we figured out how to address it.
Starting point is 00:22:46 This is the language that my generation has sort of adopted. But it's like, I look at it and I'm just like, this can't be healthy for any, on all sides of it, for the girl, for the guy, for the bicep, for the people watching it, for assuming these stories. And you're like, ruminating on your trauma is unhealthy for any individual.
Starting point is 00:23:06 That's such a slow life. Then you're so slow. First slow is love. But being preoccupied with it as like an entire culture is just pathological. Yes, yeah. And like when I look back on me too, I think like, what did this campaign actually really solve?
Starting point is 00:23:26 Well, look at Hollywood now. Yeah. I think it's a two- shall-eally, it sort of restructured a few things, but it's like barely. Barely, because like men are not any less, at least I don't know what it happened. And it wouldn't have even happened if the Weinstein company was still profitable. Yeah, true. That's the real truth.
Starting point is 00:23:41 They was going damn under. But like, Tulip Fever was a flop. They didn't make hairspray too. All right, it's over. It's dead in the damn water, all right? But when feminists talk about these buzzwords, like rape culture, toxic masculinity,
Starting point is 00:23:56 that actually, you don't really hear about much anymore these days, because I feel like they're so embedded in the lid that people think. The assumption is they must exist because there's no way of proving otherwise. It's a set or series of unfalcifiable beliefs, which seem to make sense of what we think we see
Starting point is 00:24:15 with our lying eyes. Both data and experience can be interpreted according to the socially constructed buzzwords. It seems plausible who would argue with it, but if you actually really look at it, things don't add up. But when the 2016 Buzzfeed was using those now, and then that's what my generation was,
Starting point is 00:24:36 I mean, I remember watching those Buzzfeed videos about I tried man spreading on the subway as a woman for a week. I was watching those videos in fifth grade. How old were you? It was also depressing and unhealthy for young people, such as yourself, to grow up under that paradigm. Yes, definitely.
Starting point is 00:24:50 We were miserable and wallowing, but at least we were old enough to understand what was going on. Back in my day, I had one CD. When Elliot Smith's CD, I just listened to that. Between the bars. But that's why I think, and I was talking to my friend about this the other day, it's like, now men, they're not, my,
Starting point is 00:25:11 men of my generation are not any less, are more misogynistic than they would have been in past generations, but they now expect the woman to initiate and the woman to lead and the woman to guide in a relationship. Which women don't want? Which women don't fucking want. Because the men are scared that, oh, if I, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:28 act on an impulse or if I try to press forward or whatever, if I try to initiate anything, then that's gonna be that's a big, a go-ex-slight. Yeah. When you have to make the first move. And fucking blows. And men are like, they're just,
Starting point is 00:25:43 they're not any more, or less respectful they're not any more or less respectful of women or any more or less potentially violent. They're just like fucking scared and they're not making any effort to fix why they're scared and to kind of grapple with any of it. It's just it's like, and so now women have to do the heavy lifting in a relationship and it's like it fucking, it's a bummer and it's a slog.
Starting point is 00:26:06 And it's like, I shouldn't have to fucking, I shouldn't have to convince you that fucking me is okay. I shouldn't have to convince you that touching me is okay. It should be shy to hold my hand in public because of like what people are going to think. And in a way, it also, this model also selects for actually fucked up and creepy men. Because if most men are too cocked and brow-beating
Starting point is 00:26:33 to make a move, the men who do are those who are not risk-averse because they're like driven anti-social and anti-social and pathological kinks. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I literally don't care what happens to them because they have a sexual compulsion in them. Yes, exactly, exactly.
Starting point is 00:26:50 It's just like, I've seen good come from it sort of, and I've seen a lot of women in my generation feel liberated in some way by it, but to me, it reads as just, it's sad on all front. To me, it's just like, are you really liberated by kind of having an IG story post about a guy grabbing your ass? Like, is this really freeing you or is this like a way for you to ruminate on a situation where you, for once, felt powerless and then you post about it to try to regain the power
Starting point is 00:27:22 that you lost in the moment that you felt was so- An uncharitable, unflattering read on it would be that like, women will often talk about about it to try to regain the power that you lost in the moment that you felt was so bad. An uncharitable, unflattering read on it would be that like women will often talk about situations in which they were like cat-called or groiped or whatever to sort of humble brag about the male attention that they're getting. I'm fucking, okay, when I was like- Because they're not receiving male attention to healthy, normal, pro-create way. And I think if you actually publicize
Starting point is 00:27:48 that you get a lot of male attention then other men give you more attention. I think for, I don't think for like something like rape, bisexual, assault, maybe, but for like half-cult, stuff like that. Oh yes, yes. Oh, 100%. Like low level, like low level, misdemeanor. Like misdemeanor, not even misdemeanor, but like faux-paws. Yes, yeah. Oh, 100%. Like low level. Yes, like low level misdemeanor. Miner, misdemeanor.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Yes. Not even misdemeanor, but like faux pas. Yes, yeah. Oh, 100%. When I- I even love to humble brag about this. When I was like, I mean, I used to like make TikToks about this when I was like 15, 16. I was like, I felt like Titch and Ugly Duckling.
Starting point is 00:28:17 I felt so neglected by men. And all of my girlfriends were constantly just like on their, like, on Snapchat or on TikTok being like, God, just call me sexy at the wind of his car and fucking sick and Okay, so for the rest of us you fucking cut Yeah, and it's all I think it's all sweet. He said and nephew by me a cigarette Talking to me the same way they tuck in a you me ha like that's not my truth I was very jealous and so I totally understand that. It's designed, I think.
Starting point is 00:28:47 It's designed to provoke men by sexually irritating them and also designed to punish and discipline other women by making them jealous. Yeah. And nobody's really willing to get into these honest truths about how female psychology works and it's very frustrating. And it's... We live in a culture where it's like believe somebody off of their word right away.
Starting point is 00:29:10 And it's like, even me saying that, I'm like, that sounds so like rape, apology or whatever I'm going to say. But the whole female psychology is designed to avoid responsibility for its own provocations. Believe women, believe victims, it just completely erases the issue of credibility. It makes you, yeah, it makes you, yeah. It makes you, yeah, it makes you, yeah. I mean, I was talking to a friend about this the other day and she was, and it brought up a good point where it's like,
Starting point is 00:29:37 when we say sort of like about somebody who has transgressed against a woman or been sort of violent or, you know, been sort of sexually and appropriate with a woman or been sort of violent or you know been sort of sexually inappropriate with a woman or whatever. We sort of like out of anger we're like what's wrong with you but really it is a question of what's wrong with like it's about to me it's not about the vitriol and the animosity that comes from the witch hunt and the cancellation and the tearing down somebody's life. To me it comes comes from like, how can we understand where your motivations came from and what is going wrong in your life in the, the, the, the enacting life?
Starting point is 00:30:12 Yeah, that the way that you would seek to, um, I don't know, the way that you would seek to kind of like tie yourself to the destruction of somebody else. Yeah. And it's like, like, that would never occur to a normal person. Yeah, and how I want to sort of, what I want to pivot to is like, when we think of a person, oh, sorry, and you go off.
Starting point is 00:30:35 But we do, I do want to talk about that. We will pivot to a massive parent. No, no, I'm very interested in this topic. When I, like what I want to think about is like, when we sort of, a guy grabs your ass at a party, you cancel him on Instagram. It's like we sort of were quick, we're angry at the man and rightfully so it's a shitty
Starting point is 00:30:52 thing to do, but it's also it's like we should also be thinking what is going on with him, what was the impetus for something like that. He's horny. Well not even just that. He's working class. He's horny. Well, not even just that, it's like. It's working class. He's hot. He had a ton of kids. He had a tough down the constructions site.
Starting point is 00:31:11 He worked that. But it's a thing of like, you know, it's like I've had friends who were like a guy that sort of fucked them over was like at the time he was an addict or he was really severely mentally ill. And it's like when something like that happens and it's not an excuse for that behavior but it can be an explanation or it can be sort of context behind it. So we hear these stories and these testimonies so devoid of any sort of like character analysis
Starting point is 00:31:38 or anything on the other person's side. Well it's so schizophrenic because people want so much of their own victimhood affirmed by things like this, but being like mentally ill, or like having various like problems. Yeah, people have demanded like that victimhood being affirmed. People have demanded that I become some sort of victim for things that I don't believe were, you know, things I don't feel victimized by,
Starting point is 00:32:04 because those people, well, yeah, like it didn't occur to you to feel victimized by because those people... Well, yeah, like it didn't occur to you to feel victimized by certain things. Which is healthy, a normal one. And those people who want to prescribe me a victimhood, because they felt it's dead. They felt victimized, did it come back to life? You guys, I might be bad in smoke, a cigarette, but... That's fine, I would do one too.
Starting point is 00:32:21 I mean, what? But the, you know, you can smoke. Yeah, 19 year olds can smoke right. I think so. What was I saying? We were talking about being a victim. Oh, yes. People prescribing me a victim hood that I don't want is because they in the moment, whenever they were victimized by a, or felt victimized by a similar situation, those people felt powerless. And so they can regain, again,
Starting point is 00:32:53 back to like regaining the power, they can by giving it to me because they don't have maybe the courage or it's not their way of dealing with it to publicize it. They can then pass that victimhood that if they were brave enough to, if they had the balls to, would do an IG, or get so IG story post or whatever, an infographic about this is the time that I felt like when an older guy fucked me, I was wronged. And so they give that to me because they think that if you prescribe somebody else victimhood,
Starting point is 00:33:23 then that is sort of lifting the pain of the situation off of the your shoulders. But it seems like they only want to take that on. I understand. They just can only look at things through that. And I think a lot of people, it's not even that they've thought about it or identify with it. It's precisely that they haven't thought about it.
Starting point is 00:33:42 And it's just like, that's the paradigm now. So they just kind of follow along blindly. I've been forced't thought about it. And it's just like, that's the paradigm now, so they just kind of follow along blindly. I've been forced to think about it. I've been because of all of this in my generation. It's like, and talking, and people re-contextualizing their experiences are people sort of being like, I didn't know that this could be considered that until I heard this.
Starting point is 00:34:00 So it's kind of cultural now to kind of, because of the publicization of this and the sort of like skits So whatever about of this. Well, that was sort of the way I did feel about me too Which I was like I felt like I had an understanding as someone who was trying to work in an industry where it's like Yeah, you let a producer like Paul because it might be like It might help you later on and then like me too popped off and I was like, oh, I was that was wrong. Yeah, it's like, but we all were Operating principle that we all understood you do like a You do like a very like
Starting point is 00:34:38 brief but searching and fearless moral inventory where you say like I'm willing to go to bed with this disgusting loser for this role. Victim, who doesn't the eye of the most holder? Or I'm not willing to do it and I'm willing to, and then I have to like sacrifice the role. Right, yeah, things like this. You make the, as a woman of competence and agency. But it does everyone a disservice to take that like,
Starting point is 00:35:02 process away and just make it like they get an objective flat rate Like here are the things that are wrong here is how you should react It's like that really is different for everybody. I may not agree the thing is I may not agree with the way that somebody reacts to their own trauma But I don't even with a when a woman Publicizes it in a way that I don't agree or the man who's being Accused comes back in it in a way that I don't agree or the man who's being accused comes back in a way that I don't agree about or even The whole entire situation. I'm like that was ski that was gross. Still it's like Even if I don't agree with it
Starting point is 00:35:35 It like it is up to everybody individually on how they choose to react to it And it's like if you can choose to feel victimized by it and make an infographic about it I can also choose not to feel victimized by it and to reject your prescription of victimhood onto me. Period. Period. Period. Sis. The whole thing is like totally in line with female psychology and it's denial of the
Starting point is 00:36:03 about the truth around like sexacks and desire because like the feminists have basically created a situation now where men are cocked and browbeating and where women have lost respect for them. Yeah. And they react to this by cocking and browbeating them more. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Simple as. And things are bad. Matthew Perry did it 54. Yeah, because it's not in our nature to empower men who we don't respect.
Starting point is 00:36:36 We can't. So it's created like, what's that gives us the, it's like a rat king or one of those ant deathmills. When all the rats get their skin. Girl, you're doing trap math. I don't know about none of that. I don't know about that puzzle mode shit. No, the rat, it's a rat king is when all the rats
Starting point is 00:36:51 get their tails tangled together. And there's a bunch of rats and it becomes one big like or like it's like the ant death spiral where they all start following one and they like gradually like die of exhaustion. Right, right, right. Like that's like I feel like where we're headed. Yeah, and that's a thing.
Starting point is 00:37:09 It's a never ending circle of accused and victimized and accused and victimized. And in turn, we're all just like fucking hurting each other. And it's like, I look at it and I'm like, this is not the way that we should deal with it, but it's the only way that right now we know how to. And that makes me sad. Yeah, and it's always like the people calling for, quote, more empathy and compassion
Starting point is 00:37:28 who are the biggest sociopaths. Exactly, exactly. And I think through all of my, like, cancellations and sort of observations of other people's kind of, you know, the sort of excoration or whatever of other people on the internet. I have learned to actually, even though all of it was so painful, and I wish I could- You did a lot of negative attention. I did a lot of negative attention, but I'm saying it has made me so much more of an empathetic
Starting point is 00:37:58 and understanding person. Like a wise person. Yes, absolutely, even though it was so painful, it's like, I now, when somebody on the internet refuses to hear me out and is so cruel to me about something I've said or something they think I've said or whatever, I'm like, I always have to remind myself, it's like our set of values, like our intrinsic, like moral, like character, like values, are, are, are, are just diametrically opposed. You and I, the person sending me hate who refuses to listen to me when I say
Starting point is 00:38:30 I was 15 and stupid and that's not an excuse. Who refuses to level with you? You're like, entertaining you. Exactly, your refuses to just listen or have dialogue. It's like, to me, I'm like, I don't even want you. I'm glad you fucking hate me because our souls are completely different. We have completely different set of members.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Like I just want to know that I'm operating like on the same plane as other people or something. Like I am. But like you're not, you're not. And, and that well, and the sad thing is like then you have to be really honest with yourself. If you're like a person who's prone to honesty and self-examination and be like what did I do to bring this dynamic on. You're skin is so amazing. What? Thanks. You're glowing.
Starting point is 00:39:11 You're glowing. I smoked like a pack of cigarettes a day. Are you the past week? No. I want to get pregnant so bad. I'm like drinking a bottle of wine. People are gonna burst and fuck down. People are rusted fuck up. People in red are going to freak out about this episode. I used to be a red scare bug commenter. Oh yeah, it's a vibrant community. Yeah. I'm interested in people who are ambitious leaders.
Starting point is 00:39:35 I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders.
Starting point is 00:39:43 I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. I'm not interested in people who are ambitious leaders. But I have to say like the best thing, I've said this before, the best thing that came out of the Israel Palestine conflict for me Personally is that I really like lobbed off and stopped reading that shit just because I forgot Because I was so like frazzled and adult It's been frazzling. It's a frazzling time for all of us in culture But the thing is like this is like the nature of this essay that I'm writing now where I like yes, how do you even reason or argue with people who want to like buck break you with like emotional terrorism?
Starting point is 00:40:16 They're never going to respond to quote facts and logic. And that's when I've had to learn that. And you're a doop and a loser for even trying to meet them on that level. Exactly. And that's when I've in moments of crisis where I'm really like doing the keyboard bongos and really trying to fucking fight my way out of hell to get people to understand me. I do have to like kind of check out that my state. You'll be vindicated.
Starting point is 00:40:34 Yeah. And people tend to think I have to remember that like these people and I are so different morally that I don't even want them looking in my direction if they can't even. Yeah. And you're certainly not going to persuade them. And people tend to think of like the big crises like rocking liberalism or whatever like I don't know like the gender war or the racial reckoning to be like outside of their day-to-day lives because their day-to-day lives are so fundamentally different. But actually they're not because when you think about dealing with outside of their day-to-day lives because their day-to-day lives are so fundamentally different, but actually they're not because when you think about dealing with people on a day-to-day
Starting point is 00:41:10 level, that's what it comes down to. Well, it sounds like especially on the liberal arts college campus. And the liberal arts milieu, it's in my fight. It's a real fight in the mud for a breath. You're going to choke and you're gonna drown. If you have any sort of opinion or any sort of idea that is not in line with the institutions, ultimately like performative kind of neoliberal ideology, gerk shit at a lot. Well, I was thinking about that when David Velasco, the editor of Artform, got fired from
Starting point is 00:41:42 his job for his pro-Palestinian comments, which I have not read, so I don't know whether they were like even handed or genocidal or whatever. And of course it's like I thought about this myself because it's satisfying to watch people who also hate you fuck around and find out, but also I'm of the mind that like nobody should be fired from their jobs for expressing a political opinion because I'm such a lib tart at the end of the day. But yeah, I just don't believe it like goes both ways. Like I think you there have to believe in free speech for absolutely.
Starting point is 00:42:18 For people who are your political enemies or opponents, especially for those people. Yeah. But also, you know that it really functionally doesn't work that way. That's the crisis of liberalism, because those people would not hesitate to cancel you or even kill you and your whole family if they could. I know, but you can't, yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:39 You can't go down that road and then you start to think about like, the high road, the low roads too crowded, can't be a fair out. That crazy, crazy That crazy bitch. You're like crazy crossed out bitch. The fucking bind that you're in because it's also true that people who express their political opinions when they're not being paid for it, such as ourselves,
Starting point is 00:43:01 are probably fundamentally unfit to do their job. No, that's what I'm saying. Shut No, I just want to say, shut up. That's what she means. And it's going to be a main episode of a page. This is a free one. Hell yeah. Let's get the people listening. We got more eyeballs.
Starting point is 00:43:13 We're here to do Ivy propaganda. Shut up to my ex-lesbian situation shift from college. I know she tuned in. Shorty, I want you back. Shorty, I still think about you. I still think about you. And when I showed you a million dollar extreme and you were wearing your red scare shorts,
Starting point is 00:43:31 I still think about you. A beautiful moment. It was beautiful. Contemporary. Yeah, she didn't understand million dollar extreme though. She was like, I don't get why it's funny. And I was like, he's saying Jews rock. I was like, no, it's because he's not,
Starting point is 00:43:47 he's actually a white guy underneath the makeup. That's my first one. I'm like, no, his name's peanut or buckle. That's why it's funny. Matthew Perry did it. Matthew Perry did it. He did it 54, that is 54. I will be honest, I thought it was a joke.
Starting point is 00:44:08 I thought my friend calls me in Snooki makeup, Pasha, Julia, she calls me in Snooki makeup, and I'm putting on my wig cap for my Madonna costume. I'm halfway through my makeup, and she picks up, she's in a fucking wig, and her whole face is done up, nails on, and she goes, Matthew Perry, 10 at 54. and I was like what I start laughing I'm laughing I'm going yeah I'm going she's making some shit up on the phone she went jacuzzi and suddenly she's revealing too many details where I'm like this bitch is not crafting the narrative on the
Starting point is 00:44:37 spot she's not yes-ending me on the phone right now Matthew Perry really be dead at 54 I went on the Wikipedia and it was still not updated. So it said Matthew Perry is an American actor and entertainer. I was like, okay, he's not dead. I was like, Julia, you're pulling my damn leg. And he's such a kind of like esoteric figure that like I thought it was some stupid like meme. Matthew Gasewood. I'm gonna get it.
Starting point is 00:45:02 I'm gonna get it. Matthew Gasewood. I believed it because I have known some girls who have met him on Raya. I need to get on my line. I need to get on my line. My friend match with Dr. Miami on Raya. I was like, I need to get on my line. Who's Dr. Miami? Um, we went to Miami just to meet Dr. Miami.
Starting point is 00:45:23 She said she want, she ain't like her titties fuck you get her new boobs. We went to Miami just to meet Dr. She says she want she and like her titties fuck you get her new boobs We went to Miami just to meet Dr. Miami He's a plastic surgeon Plastic surgery. Wow He'd be doing the best baby meals in the damn business You will not die face down on a massage table in a hotel room The dinner of plastic surgery that reference may be before your time I figured okay Jewish guy from on cut gems who's like the jake of the jeweler of plastic surgery that reference might be before your time I figured okay Jewish guy from on cut jams who's like yeah, yeah, yeah, but before he was the
Starting point is 00:45:51 Jewish jeweler from on cut jams he was The Jewish jeweler to the stars and he's like a very specific Niquen or any who's like it's like a booharan, I use back to, which was like a Russian empire. Girl, I know about who's back. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I know about Demu Uzbeks.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Then weegers. Then weegers. Then weegers. And they just like. I say Wiggers and Camps. My sneaky like loves to make that joke and I'm like, I heard it the first time. He's always like, he's always like,
Starting point is 00:46:24 they have Wiggers and the camps in China and and I'm like it was funny the first three times Yeah, I mean just eat my pussy not to toot my own horn, but I made the funniest joke about all that the wigger genocide Yeah, I think the opiate epidemic It's pretty good what do you mean by it being the opiate? This wigger is the real wigger it's like white guys dropping from opioids. It was a thinker about that. But everybody wants to talk about Chinese Muslims and camps. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I know. We need to talk about the Opie and the fat bitches and cookie monster sweatpants who are a big dog. Not in the boxy coat. No, I know. I know they do be loving those like plushy fleece sweatpants and it's always Tweeie Bird or Cookie Monster. Yeah, I thought about buying a pair of Cookie Monster sweatpants
Starting point is 00:47:12 because I'm kind of right now right now I'm dressed gorgeous but you know how you going out? No. If y'all try to hit the town after this then yeah, but I dress up tonight, but literally, like usually I dress in just shit that makes me laugh, and I was literally looking on like for a few days. You love a XXL T-shirt. Yes, I was wearing my whale-smoking-of-blood T-shirt the other day. I actually almost went as the whale for Halloween. Wait, I be, what's your shoe size?
Starting point is 00:47:42 Six and a half. Oh, fuck, never mind. You won't give me some shoes? I mean, you can take them, but they're size eight. I could double up on the doctor's shoes. I could double up on the shoes. You had them little feet. You had some Lebuke.
Starting point is 00:47:55 You little. I got some Unif Mary jeans that are like mad cute, but they're too small for me. Unif had me by the balls when I was like 13, 14. Like, I was fully spending any birthday check my Jewish family on a damn Unif. My girlfriends in middle school and I used to like I've had me by the balls when I was like 13, 14. Like I was fully spending any birthday check my Jewish family on a damn unit. My girlfriends in middle school and I used to like show up
Starting point is 00:48:10 to school and like. You can get the unit for free now, I bet. True. You're up and coming. You're up and coming, a girl. You got true. I could get the unit, but you literally had me by the damn bottles.
Starting point is 00:48:20 I had these like yellow gobo boots. I had this. And so good. And she's one of ours Your home she's a home girl She's you know, I mean she's kind of politically based Yeah, nice very cool But like yeah, you know if I made by the balls and there was like hot girls that like went to my school who were like Ended up being unit models like because I went to like a middle school. Yeah, you're from LA
Starting point is 00:48:43 Yeah, yeah, I went to like a middle school. Yeah, you're from LA. Yeah, yeah, yeah I went to like a six through two. Oh, I was gonna ask you for from Boston because you seem to know so much about She went to Emerson college For a year but dropped out best decision ever made. I think amazing choice Amazing choice, and that's how I know I can do anything. It's like bitch. I moved to New York on my damn own it Yeah, pay for all my own shit bitch like college dropout But in a way the best thing about this like annoying and gay like cancel culture moment It said it also is good for people like us who are like mentally ill bohemian lay about some spiritual dropouts People are looking for this people they don't want the fucking like The you know, obviously this is not a new thought but it's like people
Starting point is 00:49:25 and people are they're getting tired and growing weary of the the cultural you know the popular cultural consensus it's like they need people like us. But also everybody is so like cocked and unimaginative that you can really exploit some opportunities if you have even a minor appetite for risk. That's the thing definitely and people will gasp and gawk at anything. People are a gawk at just about anything now. Like I do my comedy shows and like, I never think I'm doing anything.
Starting point is 00:49:54 I mean, I like to do crazy shit in my comedy, but it's like, I do shit that I'm like, this is run of the mill, this is garden variety. And people are gasping. And I'm like, you're gasping, you live in Manhattan. Why are you gasping? You should not be gasping at anything anymore, honey. You should be your poker face all the day.
Starting point is 00:50:11 I'm time, poker face down. So I just, I live for that shit, you know? The thing with me is like, I, it's not that I ever, well, I do. Well, you assume that things that are obvious to you are obvious to other people, and they're- Yeah, exactly, exactly, exactly. I always assume that the things that I'm not disturbed by are not gonna disturb other people,
Starting point is 00:50:31 but true, I guess I just have a high-paying tolerance when it comes to being offended. Because really, what? So you should become a mom. Exactly. Don't even tempt me, bitch. I actually will beg somebody to bust in me into minus two minutes, but like
Starting point is 00:50:47 No plan B between following plan a gods plan. That's right But like with me it's like when I get offended by something if I feel that in myself Instantly I'm moving to I'm going okay. Why do I feel sort of disquieted or unsettled by this? And what can I do to work through that? What about what's in it? You're doing the searching in fearless moral inventory. Yeah, and then what other people, the thing is like, give us an example. What's the last thing that offended you? It's really nothing, but it's like sometimes it will sneak up on me.
Starting point is 00:51:20 You know, it's like I don't have any examples to cite, because I started doing that where I look inward and I'm like, why do I feel sort of uncomfortable or itchy at the sound of that? What is the impetus for that? Like what in my mind is like making me feel shifty about that? How can I push forward? But people nowadays, as I experienced this a lot when I was trapped in the liberal arts milieu. People like really anything that they're sort of unsettled by, it is instantly it's just like we have to shut this down. It's just a visceral amount of research. It's like immediately weaponized against other people whereas my philosophy has always
Starting point is 00:51:56 been to like blame yourself first. Like even if you're actually not in control and have no fault in the matter. It's like look inward cis, look inward cis. That's yeah. And so because you can typically glean some valuable and important lesson from. 100%. And so that's what I try to do.
Starting point is 00:52:14 But like, yeah, at college, I noticed a lot of people were like, we just like can't platform you right now. It's just like people are uncomfortable with you being platformed right now. Platformed. This is a black box theater in the basement of a right now. I'm like, platformed, this is a black box theater in the basement of a dorm building. I have, I have had,
Starting point is 00:52:29 this couldn't be less of a platform. Well, that's like, it has 700,000 followers on all social media platforms combined in five years of my life. It's like, and I've been on television. It's like, this is not my platform. No, I know, that's like, that's always secretive. We got when we had like Steve Bannon
Starting point is 00:52:44 or Alex Jones on people who were like like you're platforming these evil bad men. It's like look at it. No, they're platforming us. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. It's like people that get a little lucky to have you in that black box. Exactly. You be doing them a favor. Bitch, I was working over time. People at college were so just very like, it was just a thing of like, well, if you know, the people in the student body are uncomfortable with jokes you made at this improv show or about the things you post or whatever.
Starting point is 00:53:13 And it's like, maybe they should, I don't know, from their like $80,000 a year fucking bubble where you know, you're taking a class about like, polyamory and ethical non-monogamy, which I literally was in a class where we had to sit in small groups of the professor What was talk about ethical non monogamy and that was like you being 80,000 a year for that It was love and I didn't pay 80,000 because you know shout out fast up But like nice and shout out my rich on uncle shout out y'all love y'all will ride by y'all till the wheels fall off, but um
Starting point is 00:53:44 Yeah, it was a class love and I love about Jewish people they always be paying for the education of their offspring and often not even their offspring. Yeah, yeah Exactly, but like it was love and a rod, it's been a Western culture, which I thought could be an interesting topic given I don't know everything we've talked about tonight thus far. I was like it's gonna give that Welcome to RedScare universe For 80,000 dollars we will teach you this How to stick from the back and how to be an anon how to be an anon that books How to fuck like an anon.
Starting point is 00:54:25 But um, yeah it was love and oxygen in the plastic. We all teach you how to creepily not have sex. Yeah exactly. Just teach you how to have a spare. Read, break this pdf's and play online chess. Exactly. Did you how to have a Bronze Age mindset? But um, it was love and oxygen in the culture.
Starting point is 00:54:42 And literally like we were getting, were getting this professor who would drink Ruiboast he out of a mason jar and he had like he would wear like a cowl next sweater and he was a straight guy who was constantly like but I am an ally though and I was like okay for sure twin whatever And like the whole our class would just be we would get in small group we would listen like Dan Savage And like the whole our class would just be we would get in small group would listen like Dan Savage podcast Literally one of my Listen to Dan Savage talk for an hour. They was paying to listen to podcasts Was and I got kicked out of that class because I never I stopped showing up I was like fuck you kill yourself, but like literally one of our assignments was like let's listen to a dance savage pod about ethical mon monogamy and talk about it in small groups
Starting point is 00:55:27 I had to be with like fat bitches in KN 95 masks down like in a small group these bitches who are like Even though they're like queer the thing is like people in New York when they're queer They're queer right like they will fuck and they will fight it out and they will make out and they will like Come all over the place. A lot of the New York queers are still hot and sexy. That's the thing, yeah. But the exact, but liberal arts college queers are like, they're just like, um, do you want to see my squish malo?
Starting point is 00:55:56 Yeah, they're like, they're so pussy. And like, both and shape. Exactly, they're all shaped like, it's like the trans masks with big titties that they just like have hanging out and like blue hair down like your thing's down. So it is as bad as they say. It's bad and some of them don't have your thing. So I mean, T-Chat basically said as much when we had them on.
Starting point is 00:56:18 I know, but I was so skeptical. I know. I'm so out of touch. There's no way that's really going on at this moment because there's so much conservative hysteria that you like learn to not believe anything people say. Like when people talk about the migrant crisis, I'm like drag queens.
Starting point is 00:56:34 So this is the all-er making this up. Come on. But I think it's kind of real. I think all the drag queens censoring it actually really does upset me because I think performance should be celebrated in all context. Yes, but I think that drag queen used to be more of an artistry and it's become more. A political movement.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Yeah, much like that. And also like when many of these norma cons start talking about it, they actually make the genderqueers double down. Digress? Like when they're like, oh, this is like a pet of feeling and satanic and they're grooming our kids, they make their enemies like double down on their like philosophy and their.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Yeah, it's like it's circular. It's the argument that we're talking about. It's what we were talking about. Yeah, the victim, abuser, dialectic. Exactly, it just goes... Everyone wants to be the victim. Exactly. And no one wants to be...
Starting point is 00:57:36 But everyone is the victim. But everyone is actually the abuser because part of victimhood is making other people pay. Yeah. The thing is, what I think about the drag Queen'surya was, is like, I think, and also- She needs to talk about this. Here's what I think.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Okay, I was also, because, you know, this YouTuber that I loved when I was younger, this woman, Colleen Ballinger, was canceled for, like, grooming or having inter-proport relationship with fans or whatever. But on top of that, people were sort of looking back at, like, clips from her old comedy shows where she would perform as the Miranda Singh's character Shows that I went to a few times as a child and people are like it was weird that she was doing sexual stuff on stage when she had an audience That was young. It was weird that she was you know Make doing comedy with like in you and no or whatever and it's like it's odd that people look back on that
Starting point is 00:58:21 That are my same age and feel victim about when people look back on that, that are my same age, and feel victimized. When people look back at Shane Dawson videos, and they're like, he was gross for making this joke about fucking a kid or whatever, it's like, they look back on that, and they feel victimized in hindsight over a video that was posted 15 years ago, a show that was staged seven years ago, whatever. That nobody cared about at the time. Yeah, exactly, but when I look back at the things,
Starting point is 00:58:43 I think God isn't it great that I was consuming all of this kind of gutsy and balsy and sort of like, even if it was tacky, even if I look back on it and I'm like, it was bad. It was bad, even if I look back on it and I'm like, well, that wasn't even funny. It's like, at least I was consuming some form of video or like live stage work, and that I look back on it, and I'm like, that inspired me to be a comedian, and those were the building blocks that showed me the kind of work I wanted to make when I was younger,
Starting point is 00:59:14 and the kind of work I want to make now. It's like, I don't feel victimized by those things in hindsight. I feel like, isn't it great that I have this like, recorded history of all these things? Yeah, but I don't even think that they truly and genuinely feel victimized. I think that they think that's how they think they should feel. Yeah, they think that's what's right to feel.
Starting point is 00:59:33 Yeah, but I look back on those things and it's like I look at the Miranda things shows that I went to in like 2014, 2015 when I was you know, but a fucking come drop in my dad's balls and I think, and I'm like, yeah, maybe I look back on it now and I'm like, I wouldn't laugh at the Miranda Sings character in YouTube videos now, but it's like, you know, I got to go see like live comedy shows and I got to laugh at something that felt a little racy. Well, what do you think? Well, what do you think about the sort of the status of comedy today seeing as how there is such a prohibition
Starting point is 01:00:09 against transgression of any kind? Here's the thing. I think that there is a lot of interesting work always being done in comedy. Yes, a lot of it's kind of been all in boring. But what I find interesting is the people who are like, we're clapping back against the fact that there's, we're being censored and they're posing on the tapes, like on the covers of their Netflix specials with caution tape over their mouths.
Starting point is 01:00:32 And they're like, you know, they're like, but that's also always been a part of like, well yeah, but it's like a lot of those people that are like, we're pushing back against cancel culture. It's like the people who are like, you know, they now live in Austin and they're like, I call them the Rogenites. Like the, the, the, the Dave Chappelle, like, what's up with Tranny's?
Starting point is 01:00:50 Like, free canceled, like Netflix, comedy, special. Yeah. Chappelle will, to me, will always be somebody who I'm like, I will hear him out. And it because, yeah, but he is, no, no, he's, he is. But he is one of those people where he's like, I'm clapping back at cancel culture, but not to the extent, not to the extent that like Rogan and like Thompson girl and like for Crusher like all of those like Austin, Texas comics who like left LA left New York to move to Austin To like you know, we're gonna start until a clap back at cancel culture
Starting point is 01:01:20 But it's like but like you can never canceled You guys are actually people who are really favored and loved and have audiences all over the world and you tour all over the country, all of the country, like all of the, I'm so different. I'm turning into dark brand and you turn, like they, they, they tour all over the world and like, you know, they do shows in Asia. They do something like that.
Starting point is 01:01:42 It's not like that. It's not like that. Yeah, exactly. And it's like you guys aren't the people that are being deployed from you guys aren't actually saying anything. I know that we said we weren't going to talk about Israel Palestine, but one of the interesting consequences
Starting point is 01:01:53 of this last round of conflict has been that, like, for the first time ever, public opinion has shifted decisively against Israel. And people were asking why that was and offering lots of opinions. A lot of people were speculating that in America particularly it was the result of demographic change. IE America becoming less white and non-white people being less sympathetic to Israelis or Jews who they see as broadly white, but for me it's just like a function of the rise of social media and with an independent media
Starting point is 01:02:31 So you have like lots of like counter narratives that you can seek out independently because the major news networks are Along their legitimate. Yeah, well the major news networks are no longer a jimit They're also all provincial becauseindustrial because it's the opinion of the government and it's the opinion that you know favorite is like favorable to them to keep the machine running yeah but yeah definitely it's because people can seek out sort of up they can kind of like podcast and take talks like long-winded-ass Twitter threads yeah or like you know independent journalism and things like that. Yeah, sub-stacks Yeah, it's like we we can now yeah, we can access it
Starting point is 01:03:08 It's also do you want some peroni? Yeah, like it's beer. I don't like beer tastes like monkey piss to me It does for all soul drink that garbage You know I'm down bad when I'm drinking beer She down my head so Did you not watch friends because you're too young I mean, plenty of people in Gen Z love Friends, like as a kind of look back on it thing, but I would didn't. Wait, I've never watched Friends. I've seen one episode of Friends and it was because I had an audition in like, like many
Starting point is 01:03:40 years ago that was like, I think the character was, they were like, it's a Phoebe of a Faye type and I was like, who the shit is that? So I think I watched it as a friend. I'm quirky. Yeah, but I never really enjoyed it. I love her too. What's that show she has or she's playing like,
Starting point is 01:03:55 like a film about me. Yeah, one of the greatest things. I was talking about this with Patrick, Mr. Patrick Sandberg, shut up Patrick Sandberg. How like the- The second youngest person to come on them. It's not true at all. He's 16.
Starting point is 01:04:10 He's ageless. Yeah, I was talking about this with Patrick Sam Burke. I was like, the comeback is truly like one of the greatest things ever put to tell. It's an masterpiece. And Lisa Courageous Performance in it is just so painful. And it took me almost six months to watch just the first season of the comeback because it was so emotionally resonant
Starting point is 01:04:29 and like it's so hard in my fucking soul. Like her pathos and desperation. Yes, and her just need to be seen. Like a failed working actress. And I've never watched friends again, but Lisa Kudro is always my favorite character on friends. This is amazing. She is such a star. She is such an amazing actor.
Starting point is 01:04:49 And she was kind of like the one that was my favorite character on the front. Yeah, because you had that really good tweet about who he was like the brando of... He's an incredible sitcom actor. He's very... I also recently watched a movie he's in called Fools Russian, where he plays a Manhattan night, who's in Las Vegas building nightclubs and impregnates Salma Hayek. And then they have to, it's like a rom-com, very like 90s-era Vegas, very at my alley. She's like, channeler Bing.
Starting point is 01:05:15 She's like, put your dick in me. He's just acting like Chandler and she's like, I am pathanique, I can't tell. I must have the baby, you know, and then he has to meet her Mexican family. It's very, it's an inter-racial, it's very, like, do you like Dia de los Muertos? No, he's like, these tamales are the fenton. Because these tamales be any better. I play Frida Kahlo in Next Movie.
Starting point is 01:05:34 I give a me and a bikini go viral on Twitter every week, but y'all seem to give her her own record. They say I look good for 50 years old. She's incredible. And she looks great in full version. Highly recommend. But I, yeah, I, Chandler, I did watch Friends. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:51 As it was airing. Yeah. Because we moved to America. It was like the most popular show in America. Did you make a lot of fun? Yes, I think. I think all of like American culture and like- Is four-watt-
Starting point is 01:06:01 And her sex friend, Shix. Was having five white friends. Or six friends? Yeah. Chandler, Monica, Ross, their siblings. Rachel, Joey, Phoebe. I'm not even like a friend. Wait, Chandler, Monica and Ross are siblings? No, no, Monica and Ross.
Starting point is 01:06:17 Chandler ends up getting married to Monica. And I've watched, I've seen every episode of friends. Because I watched it growing up. It is how I learned English. It was how I like assimilated into some kind of American culture. Chandler I was always very fond of because he was the first kind of, because he's he's very like Jewish coded he's kind of like sarcastic and rye he was like the first kind of. Wait why Ross not Jewish code.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Ross is Jewish coded but in a different way. Like Chandler is... And Chandler, the one who's the actor? That's Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry's Chandler. Joey's the actor, played by Matt LeBlanc. Who nobody thinks about? Even though he had a spin off because he was kind of the... Who ordered Matthew Perry play?
Starting point is 01:06:58 Matthew Perry play Chandler. And he's the guy that passed. The guy that passed, yeah. And I feel like I And he is a very Yeah, as I said consistent and charismatic like he is he's a very very very good at what he does Which is a very particular kind of sitcom acting. He was also choking down and pills. Yeah, midway through Friends he got a crippling pill addiction. He's struggled
Starting point is 01:07:26 with his entire life. Very popular. He unfathomable well of pain. That he was in from carrying the cast. I'm not opened up for being in something. He was all on pain from carrying that whole damn sitcom on his back. He kind of did. He did kind of carry the show and... He did it in a fancy patch and... Holly was the dark place and... Period. I read an anecdote about him today that he once told Diane Soyer that he once prayed to God to make him famous and that he regrets that. Have you tried that? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I went to N.A. meeting once where there was a guy qualifying who actually in retrospect
Starting point is 01:08:14 looked surprisingly a lot like Matthew Perry, AK, Chandler, Chandler, Chandler, Chandler Chandler Chandler Chandler Chandler Gary Chandling. All right, I'm going to be Chandling too. I was talking about how he would hope and pray that he could become a famous person in his creative field which I will not dox. Of course it's anonymous. And I remember thinking like this is why you're an alcoholic in a drug addict. Yeah, because you have a boy that you feel
Starting point is 01:08:49 that you thought being famous would fix. And it never did. It's never the answer. And actually being... At the height of his family, he dated Julia Roberts. He was like, I don't remember, but. Do you think she's like smellin' her pussy like, damn I missed that dick?
Starting point is 01:09:04 No, no. I don't think so. She put her finger down there and she's like damn I missed it. She's like issuing an anus on liberal comment on Instagram. We condemn the death of Matthew Perry. I was right now I can tell you suffering in the death of Matthew Perry. But I liked what you said a last night at our The handsome Thursday's rapist friend's birthday. Yeah Matthew Perry died as he lived on
Starting point is 01:09:39 Pills in a jacuzzi Here's a cryptic, sorry. I'm, here's a note, sag after actually tweeted, a message of condolences. Maybe, maybe Mt. Karay can be the George Floyd of sag after. And finally, right now into this fucked up strike that's been going on for way too long. Let's do it.
Starting point is 01:10:02 Let's figure it out for Matthew. Oh my, as Matthew's dead, he killed himself because of the strike was going on for way too long. Let's do it. Let's figure it out for Matthew. Why is Matthew's dead? He killed himself because of the strike. What's going on? He couldn't take it. Anyway, he wanted to dress his Barbie for Halloween. And he wasn't allowed. And he killed himself.
Starting point is 01:10:17 Wres the piece, Wres the piece, Wres the piece. Anyway, in this, it's as a kind of some statement he made at some point in which he cryptically alludes to his own death But he talks about the work that he'd done He created something called the Perry House in Malibu, which was a sober living facility for men He was kind of like because he so publicly struggled with his addiction He had the people magazine profile where he talked about dealing with his addiction.
Starting point is 01:10:45 It's low-row, but high-row at the same time. At the time, even though I'm not a person who thinks of Matthew Perry much in the course of my day-to-day life, I remember having a very like, doomer feeling that something bad was around the corner because when people... When you do a people magazine profile, like Hayden Panettere, Hayden Panettere did a people profile about her pill addiction,
Starting point is 01:11:09 and she was like, I'm recovering, and my mom, I get a people subscription like back at my place in LA. My mom hands me the magazine and looked at the cover and went, no, the fuck she is not. Wait, Hayden Panettere, I want to hear her,
Starting point is 01:11:21 I want to hear it with Dawg, she has to say, but before we get to that, I have to say that one of my favorite things about Hayden Panattera was that she was married to Vladimir Klitschko. So that is named the guy who was like a boxer and became the mayor of Kee or something like that. And like she was his like, hot Yeah, he was like his hot aspirational American wife,
Starting point is 01:11:49 but like if you really think about it, well, he married her because she looks so slavic. Yeah. She's such a like perfect Ukrainian or Belarusian beauty. A drunk Japanese business man wants in Tokyo told me I look like Hayden Panadier Bitch, what do you be getting up to? Literally was I was with Adam. We were waiting outside like a ramen restaurant And he told me I look like Hayden Panadier and Adam that he looked like super Mario He's like you look like Howard Stern He's like, you look like Howard Stern. Private parts. Anyway, I'm going to just read, I don't even know why.
Starting point is 01:12:30 I just want to share this message from Matthew Perry. She has a statement. Because I have a platform. And this is how I found out about his play because he says, I wrote my play, The End of Longing, which is a personal message to the world. An exaggerated form of me as a drunk. I had something important to say to people like me and to people who love people like me.
Starting point is 01:12:51 When I die, I know people will talk about friends, friends, friends, and I'm glad of that. Happy I've done some solid work as an actor, as well as given multiple people chances to make fun of my struggles on the worldwide web. We can all relate. But when I die, as far as my so-called accomplishments go, it would be nice if friends were listed far behind the things
Starting point is 01:13:09 I did to try to help other people. I know it won't happen, but it would be nice. And did it happen now? Matthew Langford Perry. No, he didn't. It's a totally over. That is chilling, though. I know.
Starting point is 01:13:19 I was talking to you. He gave me chills. I was telling a story the other day. Well, he has that classic attic thing of like, well, he wants to be of service. Yeah, yeah, of like concealing his anger and resentment. I was an active service. I'm sorry I'm being cynical, but it's really hard.
Starting point is 01:13:39 It reminds me of I was telling a story the other day. And I said, when I die, I want my mom and everybody started laughing because they want you're implying that your mother is gonna outlive you and I went oh what and they were like They didn't even occur to you. Yeah Literally like I was like oh yeah when I die my mom's probably and then they were like what what you're gonna Die before your mother and I went huh like I didn't even register it I really just like I kind of spoke he spoke that into existence. So let's hope a card don't clip me on the mom No, no, no you're a divinely how you'll be fine. Yeah God's not gonna let nothing bad happen to you child stars famous layla forever
Starting point is 01:14:16 Well, and you don't set up Dana player Alcoholic or a drug addict. No, I'm not. Yeah, that's important some some else wrong Alcoholic or a drug addict. No, I'm not. Yeah, that's important. Some else wrong I can I ask you a personal question go ahead mama Were you molested as a child? No, but I always wanted to be I was kind of Yappy I was too. Yeah, I was kind of just like like if you if anybody ever tried to finger my clan I'd be like what the fuck are you you were too annoying for molesters? I was so You weren't giving molesters. I was so annoying. You weren't giving prey vibes.
Starting point is 01:14:47 I was not giving prey vibes. I miss you, it was giving predator. It was giving, I'm gonna rape you right back, Kenny. That was what it was giving. Like it was giving you, take me into your van and I'm gonna be like the leather interior is tacky. So what drew you to the stage? What drew me to the stage?
Starting point is 01:15:03 If not the trauma of molesters. I guess just like knowing from the time I was born that I had a star power that many were not privy to yet, but I was going to make them know. I was going to make them know. But that's an icing to acknowledge about yourself because very few people do. And I think a lot of addiction is about not acknowledging that feeling. The feeling of needing to know people to know yours. Yeah, like taking up space.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Yeah. Yeah, I've never been afraid of you sublimated and yeah. But then that comes with its own. A comp. Com. My comp struggle. My comp, you're comp. We all get some comp.
Starting point is 01:15:44 You got a comp we all get some calm Which is that when you do that of course you annoy and irritate people Who is that you for oh yeah that for doing what they wish they could do? Oh absolutely, and that was the story of my fucking life I think even still it's the people that's I think partially why people present me so much because even if I Things people on the internet say that are like when people say that I'm so offensive and salacious when like the things that I say I don't even consider to be at least publicly I don't consider to be that offensive or salacious but I think it's like the confidence and gumption with which I say them. It's like when you say something with enough conviction and it sounds like a slur, like if you say like horse,
Starting point is 01:16:27 and it sounds like whoa, whoa, whoa, that's their word, you know? It's like, that's kind of anything I say, I say with just so much hutspud that it's like, people interpret it as if I'm saying something sort of, like, derogatory, but it's like really, it's totally innocuous, but it's because I back it up because I give a fuck. I back it up because I give up the... Wow.
Starting point is 01:16:53 So you don't feel like cynical or nihilistic? I think I'm definitely like, I have tinges of cynicism, but I think mostly I am an optimist. I feel cynical about myself a lot of time. Like I am sort of just kind of a, I get in these rats where it's like, I don't leave the house, I kind of just like convalescent my apartment
Starting point is 01:17:13 and I'm just like, God, I'm such a fucking piece of shit. But like, I'm just like jacking off and eating chips. Fuck, I'm gonna kill myself. I'm hitting the vape, like I'm gonna fucking kill myself. I'm hitting the wall at the tender age of 18. I'm hitting the wall and I'm hitting the damn vape while I'm hitting the vape like I'm gonna fucking kill myself. I'm hitting the wall at the tender age I'm hitting the wall and I'm hitting the damn vape while I'm hitting the wall, but like I think like Even though I get in those kind of spells for the most part I am actually very optimistic Yeah, because I know what my values are and I know who I am and I'm like I just expect that other people will find me
Starting point is 01:17:42 Who feel the same way and who have similar hearts to mind and it's like the world's sweetest. That's the inspirational Ivy. I think it's true. It might be naive, but it doesn't get sweet. I think you do have raw star power and I am a big fan of yours. I love you, bitch. I got a tote bag at the Morrissey concert that says don't bet against Morrissey with
Starting point is 01:18:04 the pair of playing cards on it with like a bullet hole in them. Oh yeah. We kind of a little rock ability coded, but still very cool. And I guess we should talk about Morrissey. Yeah, we all win. So I'm wearing the Morrissey.
Starting point is 01:18:18 I went on the 20th. But don't bet against that. Oh, I don't bet against that. Don't bet against that. What a weird piece of merch it like makes no sense. It's really cute. I should have no sense. It's really cute. I should have got that. It's really cute.
Starting point is 01:18:27 You can still get it on Emporium. Oh yeah. Oh. But that shit sells out really quick because I bought a bunch of life is a pig. Do you want a life as a pig? I sure. It is the blue one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:39 I have that. Okay. It's big. I have my big one. I got it. We all got the exel leg as a pig deer on it. I feel like one of those cookie monster sweatpants girls when I wear it because it's like that color. I know I always wear it with like my pants and I'm like walking around my house in my big t-shirt looking cigarette.
Starting point is 01:19:05 like walk around my house and my big t-shirt looking cigarette. But Morris, he is really impressive because as my sister had it, is someone who is... Look, it's like Matthew Barry. Controversial in part of what Ivy described because he has like the confidence of his convictions. Yeah, but ostensibly, supposedly very little confidence in himself. But my sister put it really well.
Starting point is 01:19:26 She was like, he's really impressive because he's the only guy who's managed to monetize his covert narcissism. Like most covert narcissists are like sitting there at their keyboards, seething about grandiose narcissists, like Trump derangements syndrome comes to mind. But he's really made like an empire out of it And he's so beloved. He's a star. I just like I cried. I cried. I literally I was feeling so depressed and down And like I was in like a really bad place and then I went to the concert and I literally feel a new yeah Like every day since then I've been like like when I got home from the concert I was like I can't believe I get to get in my warm bed
Starting point is 01:20:05 and eat a snack. Like I literally was like, he's the only celeb that I've ever had a parasocial relationship. It's him and it's Amy Winehouse for me. Yeah, me too, but she's dead and gone and he's still trucking and like, he's very, I think he's just like very relatable
Starting point is 01:20:24 to people because everybody feels like misunderstood and persecuted and he's very, I think he's just like very relatable to people because everybody feels like misunderstood and persecuted and he's like made in his friend. And also like that thing that what he's like a person who started out as like a shy and definite young man. And then that calcified into arrogance and standoffishness with age. And he does things like and standoffishness with age. And he does things like make his fans trek to 175th Street in like a quasi-religious pilgrimage, just to torture them because it's a historic theater and he won't play like some like
Starting point is 01:20:56 wrong neoliberal venue or whatever. No way. He gets the stage he deserves. I always said I was like in high school, I would always say the two people that understand me the most my mother and Steven Patrick Morris. I actually started getting...
Starting point is 01:21:08 She has a Morrissey tattoo. I do, how you do? I actually started getting into his, I was a fan of the Smiths from middle school because this guy had a crush on in middle school was like you need to check out this band, the Smiths. And I was obsessed with the Smiths but I actually started,
Starting point is 01:21:21 this is not happy not sat in his hand right now. I started getting into his solo stuff because of you guys. Because you guys were talking about his solo stuff and I was like, I had heard like a little bit of it, like just very surface level. And then you guys were like raving about his solo stuff and like I had been a disciple of the Smith for so long
Starting point is 01:21:37 and I was like, why haven't I, I like remember listening to low and high school when it came out and like really liking it and hearing spent the day in bed on like serious XM and I was like, love this damn long. Because I started like listening to all of his albums, like I think like a few years ago because of what you guys said. And I was like, it literally blew my shit wide open.
Starting point is 01:21:57 Because I was like, it's so much more personal than the Smiths. Yeah, I have no patience for people who are like, oh, the solo work is like shitting in the snow. I think they're like they rival each other. Yeah, and it's a little less different. There are apples and oranges. Yeah, but not really once you like break through. Yeah, and it's so spits like his unadulterated voice and it's so it's so special. Well, the reason I got into the Smiths is because of tattoo. All the things you said. Yeah, because I heard when I was like 16 or 17. The reason I got into the Smiths is because of tattoo. All of a sudden?
Starting point is 01:22:25 Yeah, because I heard when I was like 16 or 17. Their house in the now cover. And I was like whipping my ride down the highways of South Brunswick, New Jersey, and that song came on the radio. And I remember listening to like these two Russian girls singing it and thinking like, there's no way... When you say it's going to happen now. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:44 There's no way some Russian people came up with a song and I remember like looking up where the song was. Yeah, but like, yeah, I this guy had a huge crush on me. He was like a skateboarder and like a drummer and seventh grade. He was like a stoner already and he used to get boners all the time and he would tell me every time he had a boner. He'd be like, this is number 70 for the day and I was like, you're so fear-al-king. I haven't even, like, I can't even figure out how to put a finger in myself, you know.
Starting point is 01:23:11 It was like I was so shocked by how he felt so advanced. He was like, you need to listen to the Smiths and then I got into the Smiths really heavy in like seventh grade and then I cut all my hair off and I had like a bleach-blown bob and I was like wearing American apparel and I was like wearing American apparel. And I was like just like listening. I was like everybody like let me play a song like at like Bar Mitzvah's day would be like this charming man. Like I mean I still do that when I was at this birthday party last night.
Starting point is 01:23:36 I was like can you put out what I wish blood English are? Like the most off. England for the English. National Front. Yeah. I got into the Smiths because some pedophile on the internet. I told me I was in the middle when I was like also like 13 and I own like some message boards and he was right.
Starting point is 01:23:59 Change my life. I blew my shirt open. Sure. And then like as I got kind of older and lonelier, I like really like when I started sort of reckoning with the fact that I was like kind of in in cell and was really like very sexually dysfunctional compared to all of my peers, like his music was just so much more than it.
Starting point is 01:24:15 And the real voice for that. Yeah, and the incredible thing is like his music is so like queer and left coated. So the other thing I have no patience for is when people are like, yeah, okay, the Smiths are a great band and yeah, okay, Morris, he's a great artist, but you have to take it with a grain of salt because this political opinion is like, no, no, I love his political opinions. That makes him more attractive in my eyes.
Starting point is 01:24:38 The most interesting artist to me, the reason why even through all the scorn and all of the hatred that I have experienced is the reason why even through all the scorn and all of the, you know, the hatred that I have experienced is like the reason why I am ultimately grateful for it is because like all the artists that I love are people who have been so just like demonized and torn apart for their opinions or for their, you know, how they dare to be themselves. And it's like, I know I'm not worshipping at the altar of anybody fucking boring who does not have a persona outside if they're banal or. Yeah, I mean, I think I would still love the Smith slash
Starting point is 01:25:10 Morrissey if he was a giant lib tart, but the fact that he's not. It makes it better. It makes it so much better. It's like when people found out that Brigitte Bardot was like, and is a lot of a bobe. And they were like, well, she's a beautiful woman in a great actress, but you should endorse her political opinions.
Starting point is 01:25:28 And I was like, make sure a little, a little more delicious. It's like a little dangerous, it's a little counter culture to be like, actually I stand by. Also an animal rights activist much like, of course, yeah. It's like, ma's, ma's. I think that's what you were talking about how he does wear leather shoes. Yeah, we got, we got the tax to not wear leather jackets to the first show because we were supposed to go backstage.
Starting point is 01:25:53 What? Which we didn't. We did go backstage and we saw mirrorpaces from Stephen Patrick, but he like walked past us coquely in his like, spoiler outfit. They could say we're going to get back. Mm-hmm. Yeah. but he like walked past us coccally in his like Scaler outfit Yeah, but He doesn't care about
Starting point is 01:26:13 You should have him on the pod. I mean we would love to We would love to that would it's he's on a dream. Yeah, there's no like value proposition for him Good day New York like morning show. I know it was so funny because that one was like, you're a little shy, you're a little awkward, aren't you? And then she was like, you're gonna be touring a lot more, aren't you? And he went, well, as long as I don't get assassinated. And she went, oh. And he, at the first show, he was like, did everyone like my TV appearance?
Starting point is 01:26:41 He was like, he was being very playful. He was being so cute during the show. I saw he was like, I love being in New York because everybody's just so smart here. Don't you just get to like feel so good about yourselves that you live in New York City where there's art and culture rather than some other place in the US?
Starting point is 01:26:58 Woo! And everybody was like, yeah! Another thing I find very touching about Morrissey is that maybe 10 or 15 years ago he was diagnosed with Barrett's esophagus. What is Barrett? Who is Barrett? Who is Barrett?
Starting point is 01:27:13 Some weird guy in Twitter. He's an Rowing Aino. Which is like... Morrissey's diagnosis having a few thermal-dove and citizen... Central? Yeah. They're like, you eat too much Papa Jollins. which is like... Morrissey's diagnosis having a few thermal-dovan citizen... Central? Yeah. They're like, you eat too much Papa Jollins.
Starting point is 01:27:30 No, it's like a precursor to one of the worst most terminal cancers of all time, a misophageal cancer, which Robert Kardashian died from. And it is... It's not black-um-OJ. It's, but it's like the... The cancer of a rassable and billious men who are like always like seething. Yeah, because it's like it's acid reflux.
Starting point is 01:27:54 Yeah. It's acid getting acid reflux. Definitely. And I love that about him. And also in that it was like good morning, America or good morning York or daily York, whatever. Faggot ass, little new show.
Starting point is 01:28:13 He said a thing that I also found very endearing where he was talking about how in the course of his multi decades career, he's met everyone who's ever mattered to him or who he admired. And that really brought a tear to my eye because that's how I feel. Yeah, like truly, like I feel like I've met all the people who were formative influences on me. We've met well back over Zoom. Yeah, Paulia. I met Paulia at a book signing with my sister and she was like very sweet and favorable toward us.
Starting point is 01:28:38 I've met Braddistan Ellis who's like my favorite American novelist. Oh my God. We've got hij my god, Brad G. Jack. Slavoy G. Jack. Brad G. Jack. Yeah. Some of these people via Zoom, we had this video. Dr. Drew, who like, Dr. Drew, celebrity rehab is everything. Really, like, rewired my brain.
Starting point is 01:28:58 Like, literally, I would just like stay up until like four or five in the morning at night listening to Morrissey and or Loveline on my headphones. Yeah. And hoping I wouldn't be discovered. But also like young people such as yourself. The youth. So sweet. No, it's true.
Starting point is 01:29:17 It's true, yeah. Like I think of all the people that I've met like after the pod started, who like kind of came up like Jack and Monica and other people whose views and friendship I really value, I'm sorry, I'm getting so sentimental. I'm not really, I'm living. The Rose I got me smiling.
Starting point is 01:29:33 I'm watching it. I'm really happy. And that's what happens if you like stand behind your convictions and like know who you are, you literally just organically, like even Chloe. Oh God. Yeah. For me, like even Chloe. Oh God. Yeah. For me, like really going to like a Morrissey show
Starting point is 01:29:49 with Chloe 70, who I have worked for so long. Well, the first, I can't believe this is my life. This is incredible. It's so stupid. Yeah, and like absurd, but the first Morrissey show I ever went to was in Asbury Park, New Jersey, and she's stage invaded. And I have this vivid memory of her jumping on the stage and like getting repelled by his security.
Starting point is 01:30:13 And you know, it became the subject of this back and forth they had in the media. I don't want to tell the story wrong. He didn't do stage invading in this. Yeah. I could someone told me that in DC, someone stage invaded and pulled his hair in Boston Only one person went on the stage and then instantly they were thrown out of the
Starting point is 01:30:31 But that's pot oh But I think that he's Invading they were nervous now because didn't invading and get attacked recently That's what that's up apparently would happen yeah, and on this last tour, which is why they weren't doing it but Going to a morrisy show just to attack the old man I wore my somba's night one because I was wanted to run up run up on there. I was ready Well, he wasn't it was impossible this this round anyway because they barricade there was I saw them boss and I was second row and there was a fucking barricade in Vegas there
Starting point is 01:31:07 was a ton of stage invaders but that's part of the fun is that they run up they get to give him a hug and then the security guards like kind of it's all it all feels very performative and kind of like a nice and it's like his like weird Gemini like game of chicken with fame. Yeah, he's like, I don't agree, but I don't refuse. Yeah, you can touch me, but then you'll be like, carried off. And yeah, it's also like this very like fascistic ritual of like, his guards, like, teasing on the serfs
Starting point is 01:31:38 who dared to touch him, but he'll touch them a little. Yeah. He's so special to me. And there was, and maybe it wasn't, not in Vegas, but in his last tour, and when we saw it, was it in Brooklyn? Yeah, because he did Brooklyn last. King's theater, yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:55 He did it right after you did Boston. There was like a very sweet like boy who like, got up there and Morrissey, like was very gentle with him, and then they placed him back down into the crowd. He wasn't like, yeah. Have you guys bringing up buddies and all of you guys read the shards? No, I haven't.
Starting point is 01:32:10 I have. It's tea. It's tea. It's good. It's really good. He's the best. I fucking love him. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:19 I love him. But I love all prickly and particular homosexuals. He's been to my two. His BF had been turned on.F had the turn on his back. Brett Man's Todd had signed a postcard with Brett's name on it. Like, Brett give his signatures as to Ivy from Brett and I have it on my wall. Oh, cute. It's very, very special.
Starting point is 01:32:38 You're well on your way to the Bratisella show. I know, I'm going to know him. If we can do it, it's well within your age. I'm going to know him. know I'm gonna know him. If we can do it it's well within your age. I'm gonna know him. When I did his podcast it was like very early in the podcast and like Eli was driving me to this condo and I literally thought I was gonna get like catfish. It's a good campy real. I can't be the man who wrote less than zero. Roles of attraction is my favorite book. Oh yeah, you have that big Roles of Attraction t-shirt too.
Starting point is 01:33:13 I like no, you're a wort of. It's my favorite book. It's seriously like I read that, I read that right before I went to college. And I was like, is it going to be like this? But you was. It's to a fucking tee. Did you want to go to Bennington? What crazy. Did you wanna go to Bennington? What? Did you wanna go to Bennington?
Starting point is 01:33:28 I don't even remember if I applied, but I think part of me did, but like I read it right before I went to school and it was so, it's so precious, and even though it was written in 87, it's like it literally just with sand, social media, it literally every sentiment is the exact same. I mean, I feel like I'm in a Brett,
Starting point is 01:33:46 Eastern Ellis novel every time I hang out with Cameron and Jordan Kyle. I feel like I'm in a, you're like in a, in like a fancy townhouse, or like, Odeon restaurant. Yeah, if I'm like tweaking a little bit and I like kinda start to look over my shoulder,
Starting point is 01:34:00 I'm like, I'm in Glamour, I'm in the camera. Yeah, and they're like talking about like raping women, but then like flipping around being like, but we condemn all suffering. Why haven't they adapted glamoram? That one seems. There was an effort to adapt it, but I think it's like so ambitious.
Starting point is 01:34:17 You know, it's like it really is. I want somebody to adapt camp of the scenes. What's camp of the scenes? Oh, Ivy, you don't wanna know. What the fuck? Who's book is this? That's this guy, Jean Raspé. Is that how you...
Starting point is 01:34:33 Never heard of the name. Jean Raspé. It's a race of fuck, fam. It's, it's fam. It's one of Anna's races, fucks. It's like a... I've actually never read it. I've read like portions of it.
Starting point is 01:34:42 And it's about like migrants migrants invading the West. I think it's from the 70s or 80s, and it's basically a fiction novel that's very long about a migrant crisis of refugees from the Indian subcontinent washing up on the shores of the Mediterranean. They were swimming and they like in in a fleet of ships. Okay, like that like that cuba kid on the raft. Exactly. Oh my god. I forgot about it. I learned about that Ruby and and what was his name?
Starting point is 01:35:13 What was his name? Okay, like I can't remember something funny. He was a real phenom, but Ruby and bug main, because I guess he's ain't on, but Ruby and Ruby and bugman talking about that and I was shaking to my core. I don't know. Elliot Gonzalez is that? Allion Gonzalez. Allion Rogers. God bless all your guys. You like Tesla or Gonzalez? You like Tesla or Gonzalez Roger. Cute cell allion Rogers. Yeah, and he was like the face of the migration.
Starting point is 01:35:47 He was, yeah. I really, I wish better for him. I really wish somebody gave him some pitha. I wish somebody gave him a bread eastern Ellis novel. If he read less than zero, you know how like change, she would have, like, seriously, every in cell needs to be equipped with a cop. Like when I read rules of a truck, when I started like reading breadies and LS
Starting point is 01:36:07 and I was like deep into my like nobody's ever gonna fuck me, I'm gonna kill myself. Like I read that and I was like, I'm free. I'm gonna, I'm one day I will be free. You're gonna end the thing that'll do. I was like, young people don't realize. It's actually beautiful. Is that like, it's so easy to seduce anyone.
Starting point is 01:36:22 Yeah. Simply by asking intrusive and inappropriate questions, such as how much do you hate your dad and where you molest it as a child. To rewire their brains, to seek attention. That was always my modus operandi, and I would always pull shit like that. And many people, again,
Starting point is 01:36:40 the post me to Gen Z cocktail more resistant to it. But then eventually, eventually one either you wear them down enough or two you find the right fucking needle in a haystack who's gonna be like, no I wasn't molested, but actually here is the status of me and my father's relationship. And have I thought about bisexuality? Maybe a little bit. And the answer. The right one, the right one will pick up the phone. If you keep dialing, the right one will pick up the phone. And I've had some people pick up the phone. I've been lucky to have people pick up the phone. And I feel like I've had buddies in Ellis's work guiding me because it's like it made spiritual and it's not just like solipsistic and kind of
Starting point is 01:37:28 bubbly. Young people but all people want to make want to believe that there are certain factors outside of their control that are like contributing to their on-wee and malaise when it's really mostly factors that are totally in your control. Exactly. Exactly, exactly. And then I read Lesson Zero. Was the first book I read from him. I think the first thing I read of his was either Lesson Zero World's Retraction. And it just blew my fucking mind, because like I said earlier, it was so accurate to,
Starting point is 01:38:01 it's kind of how I felt when I watched kids where I was like this is so kind of these feelings Even if the circumstances change and the tools change that we have to feel these things It's like the feelings are still always there. What was your impression of watching kids for the first time because this is like a movie That I saw when I was like 10 or 11 years old and suburban New Jersey and honestly it made me think I want to be just like them Yeah Kids was scary. I don't care if I get AIDS. Because it reminded me a lot of some of the kids that I knew in L.A. who were at friends giving parties
Starting point is 01:38:34 in 11th grade would crush up pills and snort them off of toilet seats and kids who were going to the UCLA and patient or the ghetto sister of the UCLA and patient, which was BHC, L. Hambra, which is where Trisha Peta actually went, which is to find out Trisha Peta has went to the same psych ward as a girl that I was sexting in 10th grade was major. That felt like really like I've always been
Starting point is 01:39:01 exactly where I'm supposed to be. But like, yeah, when you unravel the connections. Yeah, it's huge, it's huge. When you unravel the rat king, and you're like so many beautiful rats are around me. I know, I know, I know. I had the thought we'd be talking about. I was really into that era of New York magazine, which
Starting point is 01:39:20 is before both of your times, that was prepschool gangsters. I knew like rich kids in North Face Jack and you could hung out with poor kids from the project. Yeah. And like, caused a lot of ruckus. And then I'd be friendedly a McSweeney, the real housewife, who was like part of the world because she was like a Chelsea girl. And it's like so funny how it works. Is she the one who has a face always wearing like a crop jacket? Anything can happen. Yes. Yeah, she's mother. I've always wearing like a crop jacket. Anything can happen. Yes.
Starting point is 01:39:46 Yeah, she's mother. I've only seen like a very little of Real Housewives because I feel like I've had- You got a lot of life ahead of you. I can zoom in and clips like on the internet mainly because like gay guys highlight the messiest drama. But most people are like, no, like you have to watch like all of it to really understand
Starting point is 01:40:04 like the feeling. You the feeling and the thing is I know I need to but my I love reality television But my type of reality television is not the kind of publicly, you know favored one I like Fat and poor reality TV. Yeah, I like reality TV where it's like yes I must love and have no feet and I can still fuck your man That's what I do you watch you watch 90-day fiance? I used to, like when I was like, you know, way too young to be watching 90-day fiance, I was really into it.
Starting point is 01:40:31 I'm a fan of the TLC franchise. I love TLC. That's where the my 600-toned. My favorite reality television show of all time is intervention. Yes, oh my God. And there's that glittering image of like, the scroll with bleached blonde blonde hair like jumping on her bed
Starting point is 01:40:47 Which is like strewn with like makeup and garbage With wearing like a life as a pigstied type tall tea Well her like hapless and well-meaning dad looks on in her Yeah, I like quarters too. Yes. I used to watch a lot of quarters because they reminded me of my childhood. And wasn't there a show about like financial addiction where people would like spend too much money? There was my strange addiction which probably included cheap skates which was people who would pinch damn pen who won the
Starting point is 01:41:28 Jew the Jew epidemic yeah a lot of overlap with hoarders yeah hoarders is really good I remember showing the girl I dated in college hoarders and she was like I'm terrified by this and I was like really I really like it and would love to like lay on that pile of trash I relate to yeah I relate to this and you hoarder like lay on that pile of trash. I relate to, yeah, I relate to this. Are you a hoarder?
Starting point is 01:41:47 I used to be definitely. My dad is a hoarder. Well, we're all digital hoarders. I don't know if my father still is a hoarder. I haven't been to a place that he's lived in many years. Shut up, my dad. But I'm not coming over to your place, motherfucker. There's bags of trash up to the ceiling, King. What's going on, King?
Starting point is 01:42:06 Let's get it together, Twin. Come on. He needs, yeah. Well, I like any show where the show intervenes, like, intervention or in order. They help them get their life to. Yeah, for a time. Wait, I don't take this the wrong way, because I mean it as a supreme compliment, but you remind me of like, Eminem from the Slim Shady days when he first came on the map. And he was, wow. I don't mean that in a mean way at all. In what way? Bush dress.
Starting point is 01:42:38 Well, as he was like Bush dress and like, charismatic. And he had an overactive mind. and like, here's Maddie getting in. I really like it and charming. And he had an overactive mind. That was like prone to fantasizing about violence. Oh yeah, definitely. Whenever I see like an attractive young couple
Starting point is 01:42:55 like holding hands on the street, I literally imagine myself like doing solo Columbine. Like I'm like actually, the fantasies that I've had, they're always pertaining to like other people's access to sexuality that I feel somehow deprived of or have like inside. Insign. Virgo. Oh, of course. Yeah. I got it. I'm also avert what day?
Starting point is 01:43:17 August 24th. We're a day apart. Okay, we're a day apart. Yeah, sick. Yeah, but in many years a day apart and many I'm not sure what's your rising I'm a Sagittarius rising and Sagittarius man. Okay. But I don't know what any of it means I don't care to know. It evades me and it's not a problem.
Starting point is 01:43:50 Sag is kind of a random one. But you have the classic Virgo desire to defend truth and justice. 100%. Yeah. 100%. One thing about me is I love the truth. I'm so addicted to the truth that it's actually like people often are like you need to stop and you have to constantly check your own moralism. I need to be in tap with my values all the time and I have to do like a very literary kind of analysis on my values and my standards so that I can just always be wherever I am. You know, it's like, and the problem with moralism is that it's obviously a cope, but it's also the truth.
Starting point is 01:44:29 And actually you're like discussed in revulsion at what other people permit themselves. It's probably pretty accurate. I think so, because I always lead with like a, I'm very empathetic and very understanding and very nuanced and very forgiving of people in a way that culturally we are not. It's not the moment, yes. And I also wouldn't appear to be that way from outside looking at it.
Starting point is 01:44:54 Well, on the other hand, when people like experience me, they probably think that I'm like a condescending and unemphathetic kind who like doesn't really care about the outcomes of other people. Exactly. Yeah, I feel like it's similar for me. Like, people are always like, I'm so intimidated by you, like upon meeting you and I'm like, there's nothing intimidating about me at all. Like literally when I was like 15 I used to like, a birch from my like, a grorafo be a cave and I would go to parties and I'd be like, you want to hear about how one of my tits is bigger than the other because of my birch and Inairxia. Like I would literally go up to people at parties and say shit like that. I'd be like, one time I hear about how one of my tits is bigger than the internet because of my by burgeoning anorexia.
Starting point is 01:45:25 Like I would literally go up to people at parties and say shit like that. I'd be like, one time I spoke so much with it. Wait, is that an anorexic trait? I thought it was just genetic. I always assumed when I was slightly bigger than an anorexia. And one of my tits was much smaller than the other. It's just so weird. Okay.
Starting point is 01:45:38 But when, but I would all like walk up to people at parties and like people who had like such an interesting idea of who I was in their heads and I would just be like you want to hear about how one time I smoked so much weed I fell asleep changing my tampon like I would just like try to I be my I'm myself so hard and I try I think it's Disarming but honesty but mostly it's people are that's actually yeah people People find it off putting it but you're you're just like me for real and that you're like a Virgo with Leo tendencies I can't be you you want to be the center of attention but you resent yourself for it yeah I'm learning not to resent myself for it but at one
Starting point is 01:46:14 point for many many years I really I was like fuck like why I would like go into the bathroom at a party and be like why the fuck did you just like looking myself in the mirror and be like why the fuck did you say you didn't need to say that and then I would go back out and I would say the same shit, you know, but now I'm at a point where I'm like There it does not do me any service and it's so unproductive to like waste my time by being like shame Yeah, I know I agree, but that's why That's why when people are like sucking and fucking like when I see on my like Twitter timeline people being like Full some street fair is so disgusting these gay guys are fucking and sucking in the street
Starting point is 01:46:46 I'm like actually like they are living their truth. They've been doing it for so long Because he never got past that adolescent phase I am gonna I'm petrived like a bussy and I'm gonna be myself regardless of what you think I'm like nursing a persecution Complex wouldn't like actually all data and evidence He said at the last show that we went to He had a funny quip where he was like some people think I'm quite weird But it's okay because many more people know that I'm weird
Starting point is 01:47:24 That is like a hot topic ST shirt. I love him. Sometimes the shit he says, I'm like, you're so hot topic. And like you are so hot topic. I love him so fucking much. I love him so much. I love the same thing I love about Amy Winehouse is how committed she was to just being all out herself.
Starting point is 01:47:42 It's like she was very kind of, I think at a certain point in her career, she was kind of seeking out, like kind of trying to shock people by being so real, and trying to kind of seek out experience. But I think she probably historically felt very ugly and in love. Oh, definitely.
Starting point is 01:47:57 Even though she was actually a beautiful woman. One of the, I truly think Amy Winehouse is one of the most sexually appealing women to have her lives. Me too. I've tried to make that case to people and they're like, what are you talking about? She's like covered in picking scars and like acne. It's like, no, there was something just so raw.
Starting point is 01:48:10 I think about her all the time. I, you know what I've been thinking about lately? I'm like, I bet the sex that she and Blake had was like, absolutely off the charts. Totally. And I know that's like Taboo to say because he's like a bad guy and he got her hooked on heroin.
Starting point is 01:48:22 But it's like, the way they was fucking like, paintpillet off the wall. Yeah, because he's like a bad guy and he got her hooked on heroin, but it's like the way they was fucking, like, paint peel it off the wall. Yeah, because she was wrong curling. Because she was like a truly like, sensual woman who was in touch. Well, it was her sign. I don't know. Oh, okay, I'm already.
Starting point is 01:48:35 Okay, I'm already. Okay, I'm already. Interesting. Yeah. Eminem's a Libra. She has the same birthday as Nas. I always wanted her and Nas to get together. But I think they had a kind of song together.
Starting point is 01:48:48 Yeah, they did two songs together. So maybe. But I think they had a kind of brother sister relationship because Nas was in a relationship while he and Amy were friends. And he was a little older than her. And I think he always was kind of like, that's my little sister. And I want a protector from the world.
Starting point is 01:49:01 But I look at them and I'm like, if Amy Winehouse was with, and I tell my mother this all the time, I'm like, mom, you need to get with a black man who worships you. Yes, I know. Like, that's how I feel about Amy Winehouse. You took the words out of my mouth.
Starting point is 01:49:14 That man would have been simping. Like if Amy Winehouse had a black man who just worshipped the fuck at her. You took care of her. You would be like, you can get fat. You would find her whole life for it. Like you would be like, you can get fat. It would turn her whole life around. You would be like, you don't have to be fucking 90 pounds in Belamick.
Starting point is 01:49:29 You can get fat and just be comfortable and just seeing and- You don't have to appeal to these indie rockers. Exactly. Exactly. If anyone has had a black man who just was like, I give so much of a fuck about you. It's like, that would have been perfect. She would have been alive today.
Starting point is 01:49:43 She's still being with us now. But I had this thought about Christopher Hitchens who I think also Possibly died of a softy-yield cancer Because I was Christopher Hitchens. Oh Christopher Hitchens, no Christopher Hitchens. He's the atheist. He's like an atheist Yeah, yeah, the polyades scandal, but like He was a prominent atheist before it was like a super cringey, like Reddit.
Starting point is 01:50:09 But I think he's like so hot and captivating and mad at me. Like in a way that like transcends his physical presence because physically he looks like a whoopee cushion. I mean, I was watching videos of Chris Farley the other day and I don't like fat guys. I would have fucked the dog shit. Yeah, bro.
Starting point is 01:50:26 Oh my god. There was something so, don't look at me like that. I was saying. I'm not, I'm not looking at that. I used to, when I was in high school, I had a really big crush on John Belushi. So you said that I would go, I would go to the library and rent out like books
Starting point is 01:50:41 about like SNL history and cut pictures of John Boulouchy out of public library books and he's social and he's a folder Dasha you would have loved my dad. I know I know I really have a guide when I was a teen I had a big crush on Horatio San from SNL and then And then he got like snobby day be doing surgery and lost a ton of weight and then he looked much worse. He got me to because he used to like, annoying sex pats.
Starting point is 01:51:09 He used to bring like 15 year old girls to the SNL after parties and he and Jimmy fell and would like fuck. Yeah, he's like, there's something off about that man. Yeah, I know, he's a, but it took a funny, a fucked up twisted self hating sex pats.
Starting point is 01:51:21 A funny fat guy like kind of like, I don't, I have a friend who's like a disciple of funny fat guys and she's fuck so many funny fat guys, like that is really her type, like down to a T. I'll tell you who off air. Shea. We can guys. Yeah, so like a funny fat guy like never really does it for me. I respect it from afar.
Starting point is 01:51:42 I'm like, okay, you got what my friend Miran, I respect it from afar. I'm like, okay, you got one my friend, Miran, I call Fat Guy Swag, where I'm like, you know, Fat Guy Swag. Like, that is your thing, that is your lane. But like, when I saw Chris Farley, I was like, I was like rewatching, like, I was watching a documentary, like a vice documentary about him, because vice has the show called
Starting point is 01:51:56 The Dark Side of Comedy. That's so funny. Chris Farley is like a guy who you can picture being like buff. Yeah. I saw pictures of him like he's classically handsome I saw I was looking on blonde guys. That's my big issue. Yeah, I was looking on find the death calm Which is like a forum about like death He's a rare high teacher
Starting point is 01:52:23 I've seen those yeah, they're, I wouldn't have fucked him like that I saw my dad dad so I don't need to log on for that We've got that part too. I've seen some bodies. Yeah, yeah, we've all seen some bodies. I haven't you've never seen a dead body like up close not Well, you're in for a treat. I've ever been to an open camp What a met it. Oh, no, I have yeah, I've seen a body in a a treat. Have you ever been to an open camp? What a met it. Oh, no, I have. I've seen a body in a casket. I've seen like dead bodies in the street.
Starting point is 01:52:52 I've never seen dead bodies in the street. I have living in this neighborhood. Do people, are the people who look like they're asleep or have they had? Sometimes they're dead. They're usually dead. Sometimes those are dead. I'm like, and people just walk past them and no one calls the cops.
Starting point is 01:53:10 But no, I've never seen all it takes is one Chinese person. I mean, like, I've seen, let's see, who have I seen dead? I've seen, well, I like actually up close and personal. It's like, my mom took me at a school one day when I was in like fifth grade, because my great grandfather was like dying And by the time we got to the nursing home he had literally we walked in and they were like oh actually He just died and he was like laying on his bed and we wait for you. He ain't even wait for me What are my two could it hold on?
Starting point is 01:53:39 Oh IBs on her way Like 20 minutes, motherfucker, goddamn. But like we walk in, my mom went, oh, and I went, oh, and we looked over and we were like, oh, he's past, okay, yeah. We're just like, okay, we're just gonna like go into the other room and they just like had him in there. Working in a nursing home must be so stressful. Yeah, I know, I see dead bodies on online daily. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:54:07 but it's different when it's a close in person. No, no, no, I've never seen anyone. Yeah, I'm kind of like I'm really obsessed with death. I when I first moved out here and even in Boston I was applying for like jobs at morgues and like funeral homes and like okay I really wanted to be like I mean what from the and they would they didn't hire you know from like in seventh grade like my dream job in middle school from like seventh grade to like sophomore year of high school I was they saw your choker and they were like you know this bitch eager you can't act too eager to work in the morning yeah they were they were like, hi, I'm here. I saw you guys were hiring online and they would go, oh!
Starting point is 01:54:49 Um, no! Because I just came in, I was like so chipper to be around the dead. But from seventh grade to like tenth grade, my dream job was to be an autopsy technician to like perform autopsy. That's also such a vorego trade. Yeah, because I love the like, the dissection and the puzzle of it. But also it's like, for me, it's also a thing of like,
Starting point is 01:55:11 taking care of people after they've died and like having like, giving people like the dignity to like, be sweet to them and like, be ginger with them, even if they're dead. Sure. I like that idea, but. I don't even know. I'm putting on like makeup tutorial makeup
Starting point is 01:55:26 Even the e-girl Okay, when you're gonna be a bronze age of mindset rosy cheese When your ex has been sees you he's gonna come in his pants bitch and she's like I've died That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to make these people look beautiful I wanted to take their guts out and be like And let me transfer this over to the table really gently because you matter and I love you Yeah, and did it like I wanted to like brush their hair and like just like they were little dolls But then I couldn't get hired
Starting point is 01:56:01 In New York the the um standards for like a job like that is much higher because it's state-by-state what you can do in Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, license, no like give a presentation, nothing. In New York, it's like four years of school, four years of an apprenticeship, two years of training. They're gatekeeping, they're the dead bodies. And so I literally, also the thing about, like so I couldn't work in a morgue here. I didn't get any, the thing is in Massachusetts because I think because the standards were so low,
Starting point is 01:56:41 there was constantly lawsuits in Massachusetts all the time where it was like, more more getting pregnant by death. It was like more gov. Seer steals arm like I would see that in like the local news and I would be like, Oh, I wouldn't steal. I'm sorry to bring this back to Israel and Palestine again. But did you see like these stories of like Israel harvesting sperm from dead idea of soldiers?
Starting point is 01:57:10 So their widows could get pregnant with their children. What? Yeah, that's a thing. Because they're so invested in them. Yeah. This why I'm like free-palcentaled backwards because they ain't doing no fuck shit like that. Yeah!
Starting point is 01:57:21 Sorry, but that's crazy. Sorry, but that's crazy. The Jews are really into immortality. That's why they have such high rates of hypokondria. Yeah, I'm gonna like forever. My spur modality is gonna be a lot. I'm scared. But also obsessive. Yeah, with that, the duality. Yeah. But mainly with living forever. A boy, a boy. And my Oscar Nazi great grandmother is 104 now. Wow. Are you a Belarusian Jew?
Starting point is 01:57:57 We have we we find each other. Yeah. I need to but the thing is my family has been in America for so long where it's like I really have no connect like direct connection to it, you know, sure Yeah, that's also kind of how I feel about Israel where it's like was anyone in your family in the camps? No, we all were in America before then So it's like nice. I have no alignment or any ties to Israel So whenever people are like Israel's our home like even American Jews, they're like, Israel's our homeland. I'm like, kind of the upper west side is my mecca. Yeah. I'm like, that's where I am.
Starting point is 01:58:31 So you didn't go on birth, right? No, I wouldn't go on birth, right? So like, first of all, imagine how canceled I would be if I went on fucking birth, right? I mean, honestly, part of it would be funny to like lean in them. To do like a Sam Hidespeck. They have, like, a friend.
Starting point is 01:58:44 So we can do like, man on thepeck. They have. They're from Jerusalem. They do like men on the street, interviews, and on birth, right? And like like my sister did birth, right? Really? Yeah, and she said that they were really trying to get people to like, apparently. Yeah, that's what it, that's why it's called birth, right? So if it's birth, right.
Starting point is 01:58:58 Mm-hmm. That's what it is. It's like they try to, they can procreate correctly. They try to make you, but like they really, it's the whole thing is just, it's a fucking sex tourism. Honestly, I'm gonna come out and say it, trafficking. We're trying trafficking.
Starting point is 01:59:14 Epstein, Jewish. We also wanted to live forever. Also wanted to live forever and didn't. Watch scary 64s on shot or now. Well, he loves on in our memories. Yeah, of course. Twinum. Thwarted.
Starting point is 01:59:28 We need our own Gillain. We look like a lane of dime square. That chick who runs Midlands. What's Midlands? The modeling agency that she was implicated in a post-Ebasy and kind of like QAnon because they cast like weird looking models that often look well all models like young right all modeling agencies are also trafficking agencies but yeah they there was there was like a
Starting point is 01:59:57 mid-end catalog like floating around on QAnon accusing her of being like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, No, no pro big plane big plan bowing What if I read the black book of my name wasn't it? What if you read the black is out in the black book really? Night his me two scandals my favorite yeah, I was all being like at night. I fuck a Cambodian teenager I'm sure he was in emperor in sedental reasons, honestly. Honestly, Jim Perry was Jim Perry. A lot of people were in the black book. A lot of people were in the black book.
Starting point is 02:00:50 It was Matthew Perry. No. In the black book. No, it wasn't. I would know. And that's why he used to be alive today. Courtney Love in the black book. Any kind of, you know, he had a lot of,
Starting point is 02:01:00 he was a very well connected guy. I wonder if any of our mutuals are in the black book. You take color and color, are you in the black book? I have five books in the black book. And yeah, no one I personally know. Pas de la Huerta, are you in the black book? She's not. She's got her own struggle. She's got her own mutual struggles.
Starting point is 02:01:24 Hashtag her too. her to her to where she at I do stories wish her well. Yeah, I'm always making new Instagrams Always posting and he touched me to I do stories. I loved uh when I let her take over my Instagram and she posted all this When I let her take over my Instagram and she posted all this photos of it one of the law very long captions start up with Listen up geniuses So how Harvey Weinstein raped her and she's a teenager. I hope she's okay. Yeah, we wish her well I wish you all thoughts prayers Love kisses. Mm-hmm. Well, is there anything you want to plug, Ivy?
Starting point is 02:02:06 I ain't got shit going on. We're on strike. Yeah. When my Instagram is unsuspended, which hopefully we'll be by the time this episode is out, follow me to come see me do comedy at various places in New York City. I have some random ass. You're off acts. I'm off acts.
Starting point is 02:02:23 I have some random ass shows at bars. Yeah Coming up Girl god, I'm not I should do fucking fighting mom's. Yeah, I want to just funny mom still exists Mm-hmm come on everybody in what you're doing bellhouse. Oh, no, that's where we used to do our live show Yeah, I'm on my friend's show up all house in December We used to do our live show. Yeah, I'm on my friend's show up. I'll house in December, singing that. And then yeah, just like when my IG's back at IVC will follow me on the
Starting point is 02:02:51 Graham. And when the strike so we're all be able to Carol. Should I make a podcast? Yeah, good. Why not? You got the gift of gal. Yeah, you do. Yeah, I'm thinking of making a podcast.
Starting point is 02:03:01 You just be our third mind. We need the perspective of a summer. It feels like a lot of I'm making a podcast. You just be our third mind. We need the perspective of a humor It feels like a lot of work to do a podcast But like you've been buying the technology like you plugging all this shit in. Oh, yeah, I can do that I can't surprise Adam Friedland figured it out for us Yeah, you can get a man to show you how. True, I need a man on second mic, but his mic is off. And so it's just my mom hug.
Starting point is 02:03:31 Yeah, it's just a little quaint. You're just giving him a foot job. Yeah, under the table. I'm sucking dick from the back. Yeah. Well, I love you, Ivy. Thank you so much. I love you, I love you. I you so much for coming on the show. I love you to hear like such a little genius. You really are, you're brilliant.
Starting point is 02:03:52 I love you guys. We stand. We'll see you in a second. you

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.