Reddit Stories - ADVISED my sibling against CONCEIVING a child during a CHALLENGING period with her

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familyadvice #parenting #challengingtimes #siblingrelationship #lifechoicesSummary: I advised my sibling against conceiving a child during a challenging period in her life. I expressed concerns about her emotional and financial stability, fearing it would add unnecessary stress. Our conversation sparked a debate about timing and readiness for parenthood amidst life's difficulties, leading to mixed reactions from family.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familyadvice, parenting, siblingrelationship, lifechoices, emotionalwellbeing, financialstability, stressmanagement, decisionmaking, personalgrowth, supportsystems, challengingtimes, motherhood, parenthood, lifeadvice, relationshipdynamicsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Advise my sibling against conceiving a child during a challenging period with her spouse, but she proceeded nonetheless, and later requested financial assistance for housing. However, I declined and now my whole family hates me. So I declined to help my sister and her husband out with money a couple of days ago and right now, literally, my entire family is upset with me because of that. But I honestly can't figure out what I did wrong, so I'm here. The reason I decided not to help my sister and her husband was because I had initially advised them against something that they proceeded to do and so, I don't think I owe them anything since they had very blatantly ignored my advice.

She and my brother-in-law have been together for eight years, they're both 23 and got married about a year ago. Neither of them was particularly interested in college and the only real plan that they had for the future was that they were going to get married after they graduated and had found a job. after both of them got hired by the same company as accountants, they got engaged, and soon after, they got married as well. Now, I've never really said anything about my sister's life, but every time that she would talk to me, I would always try to advise her to save for the future because she and her husband had a reckless lifestyle. But she always kept blowing off my advice and continued to live the way that she wanted, constantly going out for dinner and partying, buying expensive clothes and other things that they couldn't afford. She and her husband liked to live beyond their means and

honestly, if that was how they wanted to live it up then that was their personal choice. I could only advise them, but I couldn't prevent them from doing what they wanted. But from what I had observed, with most other people who had a similar lifestyle, it was bound to blow up in their faces one day, and the day that it backfired. I knew that I wasn't going to help them out because I had always advised her against this kind of life, and yet, she had always ignored it. So when she casually told me that she was planning on having a baby, I thought it was really risky because she was really young, I didn't think they had much savings and you had a kid, you could not continue to live the way that they did.

I told her to think it through several times, but she told me that she would be fine, she had thought about it, and even though she was struggling with money at the time, she knew that she would have saved enough by the time the baby was actually born. She claimed that she had started to get bored of her life and she knew that her baby was exactly what she needed to complete her family right now. Since she was young and healthy, there was no better time to get pregnant than right now, so she went ahead with her plans and actively tried to get pregnant until she did. For context, even when she had told me that she was going to try and get pregnant, I had advised her against it because I knew that they were

struggling with money. My parents had told me that she had been borrowing a lot of money from them since her husband wasn't on good terms with his in-laws and said that they were worried about her. and that's why I had felt like it was my duty as her older brother to warn her against getting pregnant since I knew that she was not in that position financially. So that's what has made my parents stand on the situation right now even more confusing for me since after I declined to help my sister out with rent, they have stopped speaking to me. Anyway, I even congratulated and was very happy for my sister and her husband when they announced

that they were pregnant because I thought that they were finally going to clean up their act and start saving for the future, but even after that, they can be able to be. to live extravagantly. In the initial months of her pregnancy, I kept reminding her that she had to save money for after the baby was born, but after a while, she got really sensitive about it and told me that I didn't need to worry and that she had it all planned out. So that was signed to keep my mouth shut because she clearly didn't want to hear my advice anymore and after that, I would only speak to her about safe topics, but wouldn't try to advise her. And recently, exactly what I had feared is what happened to them since they were running short on money

for rent this month. My sister could have just as easily borrowed money from my parents, but she had already borrowed so much from them that this time, they had to put their foot down since both of them were retired and couldn't afford to keep throwing away money after her. She already owed them a lot and so, she came to me to ask for help. My sister visited me a couple of days ago and told me that ever since her baby was born two months back, all her money went into raising him and she barely spent anything on herself so she was very confused as to why she and her husband were still struggling to come up with enough money to cover rent. I was confused as to why she was confused since the reason why they were struggling to cover rent was very

clear to me, they had never bothered to save enough money for the future and had lived carelessly. In spite of my constant warnings and reminders to save, they had never bothered to pay me any mind and had decided to live on their own terms. They had spent all their money on themselves, and now, they had nobody to count on. My sister tried to ask me to help her out with rent this month and said that she would pay me back as soon as possible, but I declined and I said that I already knew that she owed a lot of money to our parents. So she couldn't even afford that right now, it was very unlikely that she would be able to return the money to me anytime soon, and I knew that just like she had done with my parents, she would make a habit out of this as well.

Maybe my parents could support it since they had retired and had earned enough money in their lifetime to be able to give it away to her when she needed it, but right now, I couldn't. I'm just 26 and I'm planning on starting my own business in a couple of months, so I've been saving for that all along and I don't want to throw all of that away. Besides, I always warned her that her lifestyle would backfire one day and that's exactly what happened. So I really don't feel obliged to help her out and I told her that she had to think of some other solution since this was definitely not going to work. Obviously, she and I got into a really bad

fight that day, and she called me all sorts of names. She said that I was selfish, I was a miser, and I was just jealous that she had been living better than I had even on her income, which happens to be less than mine. She also went on to tell me that the reason that I would never be able to find anyone is exactly this, the fact that I don't even know how to live in the moment and I'm too self-centered to care about anyone. I had been expecting her to be quite nasty after I declined to help her and she had lived up to those expectations, so I was not surprised. But I was also not going to take it quietly, so I hit right back and the argument went on for about 15 minutes before I asked her to get out of my house. After she left, I blocked her phone number so she

wouldn't even be able to call me anymore and she didn't, but my parents did. Later that night, when they called me, I had honestly been expecting them to tell me that I did the the right thing and that they had also reprimanded her and asked her to apologize to me. Instead, they started yelling at me and said that I was a terrible human being for treating her this way and the least I could have done was help her out. I thought it was very unfair of them to say that since initially, they were the ones who had insisted that I speak to her about her ways and tried to get her to fix her spending habits. I found it very confusing and I told them that I had always warned her against spending so recklessly and I had even told her not

to get pregnant right now since she was not doing well financially. But in spite of that, she had done exactly whatever I had advised her against and ignored me entirely. That clearly meant that she did not respect me or my opinions and if she didn't even respect me, I didn't understand why I had to spend my hard-earned money trying to help her out. It would be a different situation if she had fallen on hard times in spite of doing everything in her power to prevent it, but that was not the case here. She had created the situation on purpose, and now, she had to suffer the consequences of it. I did not see anything unfair with what was happening to her, especially regarding my behavior towards her. But instead of trying to see where I was coming from,

my parents doubled down on what they believed and said that they were shocked that I was refusing to help my sister when she was in such a tough spot. I got really upset that they were trying to villainize me and I had already had a really bad argument with my sister earlier in the day. So I told them that I didn't have time for this and that if they wanted to paint me as being the bad guy and they were welcome to do so. But I was not about to help her out with any sort of financial assistance and that was my final decision. Then I hung up on them while they were still in the middle of their sentence and went to sleep

after turning my phone off. When I woke up in the morning, I hadn't exactly been expecting any apology from anyone, but I definitely hadn't been expecting them to still continue to harass me. Anyway, when I turned my phone back on, my sister hadn't texted me or tried to contact me, but my parents had left me a message saying that they couldn't believe that I was being so heartless and said that I could either help my sister out at this time and apologize to her for being so mean or they would cut me out of the family. I actually had to read that message two to three times to realize that they were not even kidding.

They were serious about cutting me off if I did not help my sister out. Then, I called my parents up to talk about that message and they told me that they were indeed quite serious, that if I did not send my sister money and apologize to her for my behavior, then they would never speak to me again. I was very upset, and I actually started crying, in spite of myself, but those were more angry tears rather than sad. I accused them of favoring her over me, and I told them that if they wanted to cut me off, then I would be happy because at least I would have the satisfaction of knowing that I did the right thing and I didn't have to bend my principles. They tried to turn it around on me and make it seem like I was the bad guy because my

principles were more important than my family but honestly, here, they were just being unreasonable and that's what I still believe. Anyway, a couple of days have passed since then and I blocked my sister and my parents blocked me. So I haven't been in touch with any of them and I keep thinking about what has happened, trying to figure out who was actually in the wrong here. For me, I personally still believe that it was my sister's world and that my parents are spoiling her by letting her feel like she's justified and trying to borrow money from me. My parents are well aware of the fact that I'm saving money for my own business, but even then, they did not think that it was reasonable enough for me to decline to help her. And from what I've noticed,

most of my other relatives have also either unfollowed me on social media or have started blocking me. It feels really lonely because I don't have a lot of friends since I'm a bit of an introvert and even though it wasn't like I used to stay in touch with my family every day, at least I knew that I had the option of speaking to them when I wanted to. Right now, though, I feel really numb, empty, and lonely. And that's more of a reason why I've been wondering about whether I did the right thing by refusing to help my sister out because even though it would have compromised everything that I stand for, at least I still would have had my family by my side. It wasn't even like my sister and I had a terrible relationship. We used to speak pretty often on the phone and would meet a couple of times

every month as well. I was also close enough with my parents, so I really do miss them right now. And apart from her relationship with money, my sister was a nice person and we got along really well. In fact, I would say that the way she used to live beyond her means at all times was the only bone of contention between us, but apart from that, we were always the best of friends. And as for my parents, it wasn't even as though they had always favored my sister over me and she had been the golden child or whatever. We had been treated quite equally while we were growing up and so, that's why I guess I'm so shocked by this turn of events at the moment.

Maybe it's because she has a baby right now, that things are so different and I don't know for sure, but I guess everyone had expected me to go easy on them since she had just given birth a couple of months ago and that's what has gotten everyone even more upset with me. So what do you guys make of this? Ida for telling my sister that I'm not going to help her out with rent because it's her own fault that she can't afford to cover it.

Update 1, hi, so a lot of people took issue with the kind of tone that I had in my post. I'm sorry if it came off like I was being arrogant, but I honestly didn't mean for it to sound like that. While I was typing it out, I was obviously kind of annoyed with my family and I think that translated into the kind of tone that I had. Most people have said that I sounded like one of those people who would say I told you so and maybe I think I'm one of those people, but I am so exhausted with all of this drama that I couldn't be bothered to put on a nice front.

Anyway, regardless of my tone, people have agreed that I don't need to help my sister out because it's my money so I don't really owe it to her. It might have been a different situation if she had genuine reasons to spend money and maybe then I would have helped her out, but not right now. So I guess I'll have to continue missing my family

since I don't think they're going to apologize to me or try to at least make things right. I'm pretty sure that they have spread this story among other relatives and that's why nobody wants to speak to me, but that's fine, I wasn't close to them anyway. It just feels bad knowing that the entire family is standing against me at the moment, even though I haven't exactly done anything wrong. All of them just want a scapegoat, and I guess I'm the one right now. It's fine though, they can blame me for now, but at some point, they're going to have to face the facts,

and soon enough, they'll be turning on each other. My parents are finding it easy to stand by my sister right now because currently, she's busy blaming me for not helping her out, and all her anger is directed towards me. But from what I know, I'm sure that pretty soon, she'll start getting upset with our parents as well and will start demanding that they give her the money that I couldn't. Because one way or another, she will definitely have to come up with a way to pay rent

and if she doesn't, that's not going to end well for her. Eventually realizes that not even our parents are going to give her the money, even though they are standing by her right now, things are going to get ugly, and I know that for a fact. Then, I'm only going to sit back and watch the drama with popcorn. Update 2 so recently, one of my cousins decided to reach out to me and tell me exactly what my parents and my sister had been saying about me and well, it's not good. I had assumed that they had only been spreading the story about me and the story

itself had been enough to turn everyone against me. But apparently, they twisted and distorted some facts to make me seem like an even worse guy. And I really don't understand why they would do such a thing because I can't imagine that they will stand to gain anything by ruining my reputation. as it is, I don't really have a close relationship with the rest of my family. It's a relief that my cousin decided to contact me and asked me what was going on because he had heard from his mother about me, what my parents had been saying behind my back. It was so out of character for me that he couldn't bring himself to believe it and just had to talk to me about it. If he hadn't approached me to discuss this, I probably wouldn't

have been able to set the record straight at any point and people would have just continued to believe my parents and my sister. Anyway, coming to what they had said, they had made it seem like I was the one who had encouraged my sister to start a family when she had come up with that idea and had even promised her that I would help her out any time that she expected me to. For the record, obviously no such thing had happened and I can't even count how many times I've tried to dissuade her from actively trying to get pregnant. And so naturally, my sister came to me to ask for help when she realized that she was going

to have a hard time covering rent this month. But when that happened, I pulled a complete 180. and decided not to help her out, and that's why she was upset because I had promised her something and now I was going back on my word. Not only did they lie about this, but they also said something worse about me, that apparently I had borrowed money from her a couple of months ago while she was pregnant and had promised that I would return it. Apparently, I had borrowed that money to repay some personal debts, and she suspected either alcoholism or gambling. She claimed that even though she was pregnant, and she knew that she would need the money in the future, she hadn't thought twice before

giving it away to me, and in spite of that, I was being so ungrateful right now. The claims of alcoholism and gambling aren't that hard not to believe because, like I said, I'm a bit of a loner and I think anybody in my situation would find it very easy to get addicted. But I only drink at parties and even then, I try to restrain myself because I hate getting hung over. And I have never gambled in my entire life, so for her to say something so horrible about me, it's just cruel at this point. These are the rumors that she has spread, but along with that, she has also been telling everyone that I'm just jealous of her lifestyle and that's why I refuse to help her out. Once again, I think people would find that very easy to believe because I live on my own.

I haven't had a steady girlfriend in a couple of years and I don't really go out that often and neither do I have a lot of friends. So I have heard from my cousin that most of the people who had followed me or blocked me did it out of loyalty towards my sister, since she gets along pretty well with the rest of our family. And all of them have been making fun of me behind my back for years now. At least earlier, I had my sister to stand up for me, but now she's joined in on the mockery. Most of them think that I'm a humongous loser and I think a lot of them were glad to have an excuse to remove me from their socials. Something like this might have bothered me when I was in high school but right now, I honestly don't care. I think it just speaks voluble.

about their character and not mine because at least this is the lifestyle that I have chosen for myself. People might not approve of it, they might not think that I am doing all that I can with my life and they might even think that I'm a loser, but I really don't care. I never have and I'm not going to start changing my lifestyle right now to impress a bunch of nobodies. The few friends that I do have mean the world to me and I know that they would say the same for me. I don't even need to meet them every other day to make sure that we are still friends. It's just to give them. And I don't mind not having a partner right now, I have been out on a couple of dates, but right now, I just want to be on my own. I know what my goals are and I'm working towards them, which is more

than what they can say for themselves. Most of them still rely on their parents for money and I guess the reason they hate me so much is because they're so unhappy and insecure about their own lives that they can't help but mock me for being content with mine. I just expected my sister to be different, that's all. But that'll teach me to have any sort of expectations from my family at all. Anyway, after learning these things, I don't feel sorry about what I did at all. I'm really happy that I refuse to help her out. She definitely doesn't deserve it and I hope that my parents continue to stay out of my life. I'm also really thankful to my cousin for telling me about all of this. I'm guessing he is the only normal person in this family of weirdos. Update 3. I really

hadn't expected my last update to blow up the way it did, but I'm really happy that so many of you resonated with me and it's been a hard couple of weeks, but I'm doing okay. It has been almost 15 days since I last spoke to my sister or my parents and even though I haven't bothered them, something happened last night that I will come to later. Anyway, in the beginning, it was really extremely lonely, but then I hung out with my friends a couple of days back and I feel like I'm going to be fine. I told them all about what happened with my family and they told me not to worry about it, that I'm better off without them and I really do agree with it. I have indeed been feeling a lot better without them for the last couple of days.

The initial sadness has worn off and I have also blocked each and every member of my family from all forms of social media. I've also blocked their numbers, so none of them can reach out to me even if they want to. It's not likely that they will want to, but it brought me some sense of closure that I really needed. And I'm really happy that I removed all of them, not just from social media, but also from my life because they just keep sinking to new lows every day. So what happened last night was that I had just come back home from work and was about to go freshen up when I heard somebody ring the doorbell and when I went out to check, I saw that nobody was there, but I still opened the

door and realized that somebody had left a bag of stuff on the porch. When I lifted it, I realized that it was pretty lightweight, and when I opened it, I was actually genuinely shocked to find a bunch of gifts that I had given to my sister during her baby shower. It was mostly just baby clothes, couple of toys, and a few baby books. She had returned all of them to me, no note or anything. I thought that was completely unnecessary because even though she and I were fighting, I didn't say any reason for her to discard the things that I had bought for my nephew. I was furious at first, but then I just got really sad because this was so petty and low. low. I couldn't imagine anyone else doing this but well, that's just how she is. And I'm pretty

sure that when she had talked about this to my parents, they must have signed off on it. I found it very disheartening and I didn't even feel like throwing it away, so I just stuffed it into a corner of my cupboard where I wouldn't have to see it. Because it belongs to my nephew, and the poor kid hasn't done anything wrong, he's just caught up in a bunch of unnecessary family drama, and it would have felt wrong to throw his things away. Anyway, that's how I dealt with the situation and I'm really hoping that after this, she doesn't do anything because it's just becoming really hard for me to respect them as human beings anymore. Update 4

Almost a month has passed since my last update and I take no pleasure in sharing this with you guys but things went exactly the way I had predicted they would go. Since my sister no longer had me to blame the situation on, she turned on our parents, and I guess they had a fight or something because from what I heard, even they are bad-mouthing each other now. At least my sister can be excused because she's young and stupid, but I don't think my parents have any excuses for screwing up their relationships with both their kids. That's just really pathetic, in my opinion. Anyway, from what I've heard from my cousin, I know that my sister has been telling everyone that our parents are just as bad as me because even they have not been

helping her out and my parents have been saying that they have spoiled both of us rotten, which is why neither of us are grateful for anything. Well, it doesn't bother me what they are saying about each other anymore because at least I have managed to set the record straight by telling my cousin the truth, and he has told his mother about it. A couple of people from the family have apologized to me, but honestly, that doesn't really mean much because it doesn't affect my life in any way whatsoever. I just didn't want anyone to get away with lying about me, which is why I had bothered to tell my cousin the truth. At least now, I'm done with my family and they can keep fighting amongst themselves. In a way, I'm really glad that I had that fight with them because it revealed their true character

to me, and even though I really don't want to be the jerk who says I told you so, I can't help it if they are so predictable. I don't even mean to be cocky right now, it's just how the situation has turned out that's really funny to me. Anyway, I have saved up enough money and now, I think I'm going to switch to working from home so I can focus more on building my business model and speaking to investors so I can start soon. Wish me luck, you. you guys.