Reddit Stories - Agreed to the MARRIAGE contract with my spouse's RELATIVES when I had FINANCIAL

Episode Date: July 18, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #marriage #financial #dilemmaSummary: Agreed to the MARRIAGE contract with my spouse's RELATIVES when I had FINANCIAL issues. Now facing a dilemma, seeking advice on Reddit. Am I the A-hole?Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, marriage, financial, dilemma, advice, community, discussion, opinions, help, support, conflict, decision-making, moral-dilemmaBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Agreed to the marriage contract with my spouse's relatives when I had financial difficulties, and later they insisted that I nullify the agreement when she was unfaithful in order for her to claim a portion of my assets following our separation. Came into money. All right, this is going to be long. Needed a place to put this down, get it out. Not looking for comfort or advice. When I met Melissa, I had very little.

entry-level job, student loan debt, renting a small apartment with roommates. Her family, on the other hand, had money. Not private jet every week rich, but comfortable, established. They owned property, ran a successful local business, lived in a large house in an affluent neighborhood. There was a clear disparity in our financial situations. We dated for about a year. Things seemed good between us. When we started talking about marriage, that's when the other elements entered the picture.

Melissa's parents, particularly her father, were very involved in her life and decisions. They weren't immediately hostile, but they were direct about their concerns regarding my financial state relative to Melissa's and their families. The word broke wasn't used to my face initially, but the implication was clear. They expressed that Melissa was accustomed to a certain lifestyle and that they had built their wealth through careful planning and protection. Marriage, they explained, involved merging lives and assets, and they needed assurances regarding their daughter's financial security and the potential impact on any future inheritances or family business interests. Their solution was a prenuptial agreement.

This wasn't presented as an option or a suggestion. It was a requirement for the marriage to proceed with their blessing and financial support for the wedding itself. They provided a lawyer, or rather, they insisted I use it. a lawyer they recommended to review the document, emphasizing fairness. I understood this lawyer's primary loyalty was likely to their interests or at least to the family's overall desire for the agreement to be signed without significant resistance. They did state I could consult my own independent counsel, but the clock was ticking on wedding plans, and there was a lot of pressure

wrapped up in the process. I was in my mid-20s. Didn't have much experience with legal documents of this magnitude. I certainly couldn't afford to hire a high-powered lawyer to negotiate against their representation. The lawyer they provided seemed competent, but primarily explained the clauses without suggesting I push back or negotiate terms significantly. The agreement was straightforward in its purpose. In the event of a divorce, I would not be entitled to any of Melissa's premarital assets, any inheritance she received, or any increase in value of her separate property. Crucially, and a point they emphasized repeatedly, I would also not be entitled to any share of future assets I acquired during the marriage that could be traced back to my income or investments beyond a very limited specific set of conditions that were difficult to meet. Basically, what was hers remained hers.

What I earned was primarily mine and remained separate, and I had no claim on marital property distribution in the traditional sense if the assets were traceable to my efforts or investments. Alamone was also addressed, it was either waived entirely or capped at a very low amount for a short duration, specifically designed for a situation where Melissa might need minimal temporary support, not a long-term claim on my income. I read the document. It was clear in its intent. My financial position at the time meant I had no assets to protect. The idea of accumulating significant wealth seemed distant, a long-term possibility not an immediate way. reality. The pressure to sign was immense. The wedding plans were advancing. Melissa seemed to accept it as a necessary evil for her family's peace of mind, and I felt like I had no leverage. My options were

to sign and marry Melissa with her family's approval, or refuse, potentially end the relationship or Mary without her family's support which would have created significant conflict from the start. I signed the prenuptial agreement. It was duly witnessed and executed. The first few years of our marriage were financially tight, as expected. I continued in my entry-level job while starting to explore other avenues to increase my income. Melissa worked part-time initially, then transitioned to managing the household as my career began to demand more time. The pre-nup wasn't mentioned again by her family. It was a signed document, filed away.

My focus shifted heavily to building something of my own. I wasn't happy with the pace of advancement in my corporate job. I started working on a side project in the tech sector. It involved long hours, evenings, weekends, reinvesting what little disposable income we had. Melissa managed the home, and we maintained a relatively modest lifestyle despite her family's background. We lived in a small house, drove older cars. There was no financial assistance from her family beyond occasional gifts, and certainly nothing that constituted significant joint assets.

My venture was purely my effort, my time, my risk, and whatever small capital I could scrape together or borrow. This side project started gaining traction. It was an overnight success. It took years of consistent effort, learning, adapting. I eventually left my full-time job to pursue it completely. This was a risk we discussed, it meant a period of no guaranteed income. Melissa supported this decision verbally, though her family expressed concerns about the lack of a steady paycheck.

I persisted. The business grew slowly at first, then accelerated. I found a market niche, built a team. Profits were reinvested to fuel further growth. Around the five-year mark of our marriage, the business reached a significant valuation. It wasn't just revenue, we were profitable, expanding and attracting investor interest. My personal equity in the company, combined with other investments I made with the profits, started to represent substantial wealth. This was wealth generated entirely through my efforts and the growth of my business, post-marriage. The scale of my financial standing began to surpass Melissa's family. I had become, by most measures, a millionaire. air. This fact became increasingly apparent through our lifestyle creeping upwards, although we still

maintained a degree of privacy about the exact figures. We moved to a larger house in a good neighborhood, albeit not the exclusive enclave where her parents lived. We traveled more. Melissa no longer worked at all. She focused entirely on running our increasingly large household. The shift in dynamic was noticeable. Her parents, who had once viewed me with a degree of financial skepticism bordering on disdain, became more interested in my business and its performance. Their attitude towards me changed. The man who was broke when he married their daughter was now demonstrably wealthy. They started including me more in their financial discussions, asking about investments, praising my business acumen. The pre-nup,

the document they had insisted upon to protect their daughter for my lack of wealth, remained unmentioned. Our marriage, however, began to show strain during this period of growing wealth and my demanding work schedule. My focus remained heavily on the business. Melissa enjoyed the financial benefits but seemed less connected to the person who had built it. Our paths diverged. She had her social life, her interests centered around managing the new house and lifestyle. My interests were still very much tied to the business world, to innovation, to business, to building further. Communication became transactional, often revolving around household management or social obligations. Affection and shared goals diminished. Then, about 10 years into our marriage,

events took a turn. I began to notice changes in Melissa's behavior. She was often distant, secretive with her phone, unavailable at times she usually wasn't. When I tried to discuss these changes, she became defensive or dismissive. It was not a sudden dramatic revelation but a creeping suspicion based on accumulated small observations. The full picture emerged later, not through a confession for Melissa, but through information that came to my attention indirectly. Melissa was having an affair with another man. He was someone she had met through the social circles she now occupied. He also came from wealth, established family money, which seemed a significant factor in her perception of him. This affair had apparently been ongoing for some time.

The situation escalated rapidly after I became aware of the affair. Melissa's family, who had previously been focused on my wealth in a positive light, suddenly shifted back to their original protective posture, but with a new agenda. They learned about the affair, and their immediate concern was Melissa's financial future, particularly in the context of a likely divorce. The man she was involved in her. The man she was involved, with was not, from what I gathered, someone looking for a second wife or a long-term commitment beyond the affair. He was married himself, and his primary residence was in another state. This likely contributed to her family's alarm about her position if the marriage to me ended.

Their approach was not subtle. Melissa's father contacted me directly, requesting a meeting. He stated it was urgent and about the family's well-being. I agreed to meet him and Melissa's mother at their house. The meeting was not pleasant. They brought up the state of my marriage with Melissa, acknowledging they were aware of the difficulties in Melissa's relationship with the other man. They expressed concern for both of us but quickly pivoted to the purpose of the meeting, the prenuptial agreement. Her father spoke first. He acknowledged the agreement existed and that he had insisted upon it years ago. He then stated that circumstances had changed dramatically since the agreement was signed. He referenced my success, the wealth I had accumulated.

He argued that the intent of the pre-nup was to protect Melissa from marrying someone who was broke and couldn't provide for her. Now that I was more than capable of providing, and in fact had accumulated significant assets during the marriage, he argued that the original premise of the agreement was nullified. He claimed it was no longer fair or relevant in our current financial reality. He then proposed a course of action. He wanted me to agree to mutually terminate the prenuptial agreement. He suggested we sign a new document or simply destroy the existing one and proceed with a standard divorce if that's what Melissa wanted. His rationale was that without the pre-nup, Melissa would be entitled to half of our marital assets under standard state divorce laws.

He framed this as the right thing to do given my financial position and the years Melissa had spent as a stay-at-home wife supporting my career implicitly by managing the home. He did not mention the affair as a factor that might complicate her claims. His focus was solely on my wealth and the perceived unfairness of the pre-up now that I had it. Melissa was present during this meeting. She didn't say much, mostly letting her parents speak. When prompted, she stated that she felt the agreement was outdated and didn't reflect our lives now. She didn't express remorse for the affair or concern for the marriage itself, only that she believed she was entitled to a portion of the assets I had built during our marriage.

The implication was clear. She wanted to leave the marriage, be with the other man, or at least free to pursue that, and take a substantial financial settlement from me based on my current wealth. My response was direct. I listened to their arguments. When they finished, I stated clearly that the prenuptial agreement, was a legally binding contract. It was drafted by lawyers, reviewed, allegedly fairly, by counsel, and signed by both Melissa and me with full knowledge of its contents and implications at the time, including its application

to future acquired assets. I reminded them that they were the ones who had insisted on its existence and its terms, specifically because I was broken to protect Melissa from any claim I might have on their wealth or her premarital assets. The agreement, I pointed out, was designed. designed precisely for a situation where one party accumulated wealth independently during the marriage. It did not include clauses that invalidated it if I became wealthy. Its terms were intended to cover all scenarios, including the one that had now come to pass. I stated that I had upheld my end of

the marriage by working and providing, and I expected the legal agreement we both signed to be upheld. I informed them that I would not agree to tear up the pre-nup, nor would I agree to a settlement outside of its terms. I stated that any divorce proceedings would proceed with the prenuptial agreement in full force and effect. The reaction from Melissa and her parents was one of disbelief and anger. They had apparently expected me to buckle under their pressure, perhaps out of a sense of obligation, fear of conflict, or some misguided notion of chivalry. Melissa's father's tone shifted from persuasive argument to veiled threats. He mentioned potential lengthy court battles, public embarrassment, and the cost of legal fees, implying they would

tie me up in litigation trying to invalidate the pre-nup. I reiterated my position, the agreement was clear, I would defend it, and I had already consulted with my own independent legal counsel who specialized in defending pre-up agreements. I stood up, stated the meeting was over, and left their house. Following this meeting, the situation deteriorated further. Melissa initiated divorce proceedings. Her legal representation, no doubt guided by her parents and their resources, immediately indicated their intention to challenge the validity of the pre-nup agreement. Their arguments were along the lines her father had used. The agreement was unconscionable due to the change in circumstances, my wealth acquisition. I had somehow coerced Melissa into signing it

to spite her having counsel, a difficult argument to make given it was their idea and the recommended lawyer, or that the terms were simply unfair now. They sought significant alimony and a large portion of my assets as if the pre-nup did not exist. My legal team was prepared. We filed our response, asserting the absolute validity of the prenuptial agreement. We provided documentation from the time it was signed, including proof she had access to legal counsel, statements from her parents indicating their insistence on the agreement, and the agreement itself with signatures. We argued that the change in my financial status was exactly the type of scenario the agreement was designed to address. It allocated risk and expectations regarding

future earnings and asset accumulation. We highlighted that Melissa had been fully aware of the terms and had signed voluntarily. We also pointed out, factually and without excessive detail, the circumstances leading to the divorce filing, including the affair, not as grounds to deny her based on fault, which isn't always relevant in divorce settlements depending on the state. But as context for the breakdown of the marriage occurring while she was attempting to position herself for a financial gain contrary to the existing agreement, the legal process took time. There were filings, motions, mandatory mediation attempts that went nowhere because Melissa, guided by her parents and lawyer, refused to acknowledge the pre-nups binding nature.

My lawyers systematically dismantled their claims. They showed that Melissa had independent representation at the time of signing, that the agreement disclosed our financial situations accurately as they were then, that the terms regarding future assets were explicitly included and understood, and that the change in my financial circumstances was a result of my efforts and investments. Not anything Melissa contributed financially or in terms of business effort. The argument of unconscionability due to changed circumstances rarely succeed simply because one party became wealthy. The bar is very high and usually involves preventing the other party from having basic needs met, which was not the case here given Melissa's family's resources.

The court eventually scheduled hearings on the validity of the prenuptial agreement as a preliminary matter before addressing asset division or alimony. It became clear during these proceedings that Melissa's case for invalidating the agreement was weak. Her own past statements and the actions of her family and demanding the pre-nup years ago contradicted her claims of coercion or unfairness at the time of signing. My legal team presented a strong case for upholding the contract as written. Facing likely defeat in court on the pre-nup validity, Melissa's legal team shifted tactic slightly but still refused to settle according to the pre-nups terms. My lawyers advised me to remain firm. The pre-nup was my defense and, as it turned out, a very effective one. The judge ultimately ruled on the validity of the prenuptial agreement.

The ruling was unequivocally in my favor. The court found that the agreement was validly executed, both parties had legal representation, or opportunity for it. There was full disclosure of assets at the time, and the terms were not unconscionable at the time of signing. Crucially, the court stated that the subsequent accumulation of wealth by one party, especially when explicitly addressed by the agreement's terms regarding future assets, did not render the agreement unconscionable or invalid years later. The prenuptial agreement was upheld in its entirety. This ruling determined the framework for the rest of the divorce.

According to the upheld pre-nup, Melissa had waived most of her rights to my future acquired assets in significant alimony. Her legal team tried to argue for some exceptions or minimal support, but the agreement was very restrictive. The final divorce decree reflected the terms of the prenuptial agreement. Melissa received only her premarital assets, which were modest, the personal property she brought into the marriage or acquired with her own separate funds, and a small, limited duration sum for transitional alimony as specified in the agreement.

Far less than she or her family had sought. She received none of my business equity, none of my investments, and none of the increase in value of my assets acquired during the marriage. The wealth I had built remained mine, protected by the document her family had forced upon me. This outcome had significant consequences for Melissa. As a stay-at-home wife for many years, she had not maintained a career or developed independent significant income earning potential during the period of my financial growth. She was accustomed to a high standard of living funded by my wealth, but she had no claim on that wealth after the divorce due to the pre-nup. The assets she left with were minimal. Simultaneously with the divorce proceedings reaching their conclusion, or shortly thereafter, Melissa's relationship

with the man she had the affair with also ended. From what I gathered through the people, he was not intending to leave his own marriage or integrate her into his life beyond their affair. When her divorce from me became final and she did not secure a large financial settlement, her situation became less appealing to him. He ended contact. She was left without the affair partner and without the financial security she had anticipated from the divorce. With no substantial assets of her own and no income, she was left with limited options. The large house she had been living in with me was mine and remained mine.

The lifestyle she had grown accustomed to was gone. Her family, who had pushed this whole situation and the challenge to the pre-nup, were wealthy but their assets were also protected. While they could, and presumably did, provide her with a place to live, she was essentially starting over with very little of her own. The outcome of the divorce left her, financially, back where she was before marrying me, arguably worse off because she was older and lacked recent work experience. The reports I received through mutual acquaintances were that she moved back into her childhood bedroom in her parents' large house.

She had no independent means, no job, and her attempt to leave the marriage for financial gain and another relationship had failed on both counts. As for me, I had the wealth I had built, the business, the assets. But the marriage was over. The decade-plus of my life spent with Melissa, the shared history, however flawed it became, was concluded. The process of the divorce, the legal battles, the confrontation with her family, and the realization of her actions had been draining. The marriage ended. Melissa was left penniless relative to the lifestyle she had, living back with her parents.

I was left with the wealth I had built, alone. That is the sequence of events. From signing a pre-nup because I was broke, through building significant wealth, facing a challenge from the very people who insisted on the pre-nup to having that agreement upheld and the subsequent fallout for everyone involved. It happened. It is done. No real emotion attached to writing this now, just stating the facts of what transpired. Needed to write it down somewhere.