Reddit Stories - ARRIVED back home ahead of SCHEDULE to shock my spouse with their PREFERRED

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #surprise #marriage #communication #loveSummary: ARRIVED back home ahead of SCHEDULE to shock my spouse with their PREFERRED.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, surprise, marriage, communication, love, homecoming, spouse, preferred, surprise gift, thoughtful gesture, relationship goals, happy marriage, romantic surprise, thoughtful partner, marriage surprise, lovinggestureBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. We have two kids, our son Ben, 8M, and our daughter Lily, 5F. My husband also has a daughter Emily, 16F, from his first marriage, who lives mostly with her mom but visits us regularly. For context, our marriage always felt stable if a bit routine. I never thought routine was a bad thing, we both work, raise the kids, and try to have date nights when we can. Yesterday, I decided to surprise my husband with his favorite homemade lasagna.

He'd mentioned a stressful week at work, and I wanted to do something nice. I left the office early, picked up groceries, and headed home. I wasn't trying to snoop, but he was speaking loudly enough and I heard my name. He said, I regret marrying, my name. She's just so boring and predictable, Mom. I feel like I'm living with a roommate. and she's a dead fish in bed. I froze just out of sight in the hallway.

My heart was pounding, and I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I kept listening, unable to move. He was talking to his mother of all people, basically unloading about me. He went on, I've been talking to this woman at work, she's everything, my name's not. Fun, spontaneous, she actually understands me. It's not physical. not yet, but emotionally, I haven't felt this alive in years. We have a plan to be together once I leave, my name. I just can't do it anymore. But I don't want to cause a scene before the

holidays. I'm waiting until after New Year's to tell her I want a divorce. I know it's awful, but I can't stomach living with, my name, for another year. I shouldn't have married someone so, safe. I thought that's what I needed, but I feel suffocated. I must have made a noise or something, because he suddenly stopped talking and I heard him say, I'll call you back, Mom. Next thing I know, he comes around the corner and sees me standing there. I was holding the grocery bag, I think I dropped a box of pasta from it. He looked shocked seeing me home.

I just asked quietly, is that really how you feel about me? He turned beat red and started stammering, what are you doing home? I told him I got off early to make him. dinner, but clearly I interrupted something. He didn't say anything, just ran a hand through his hair, looking guilty. I repeated what I'd heard, you regret marrying me? I bore you that much? You're having an affair? At first he tried to downplay it. He said, it's not what you think. I told him I heard enough to know he's essentially planning to leave me for this co-worker. He didn't deny that. Instead, he flipped to being defensive.

I wasn't going to do anything right now. I didn't want to ruin Christmas for the kids. Can we just, not do this yet? We'll get through the holidays, and then, we can talk. I was stunned at his audacity, he wanted me to quietly play happy family through Christmas and New Year's, all while knowing he's checked out and planning his exit. I could barely look at him.

I said I wasn't going to pretend everything is fine. I asked who this coworker was. I asked him how he could say such cruel things about me, especially to his mother. He rolled his eyes and said, Well, it's true. You've been an amazing mom and partner in all the practical ways, but I don't feel a spark. I haven't in a long time. We immediately went silent. My husband gave me a look and said under his breath, we'll talk later.

Then he went to greet our son like everything was normal. I felt like I was going to explode, but I didn't want to have a meltdown in front of my child. I tried to pull myself together and managed to stay composed through the evening. It was absolute hell acting normal during dinner. I was quiet, just listening to my husband cheerfully asked Ben about school and chatting with Lily about her drawing. He acted so ordinary, like we hadn't just had that conversation. I was simmering, replaying his words in my head, boring, dead fish, regret marrying me.

After we got the kids to bed, he wanted to talk again. He said we should be practical and discuss how to handle things with minimal disruption. He actually had the gall to suggest we continue living together for a few more weeks for the kids' sake and to not make any rash decisions. I told him he made the decision when he decided to start an affair and when he decided I was too boring for him. I said I'm not interested in any arrangement where I have to look at his lying face every day pretending to be the happy wife. I asked if his precious co-worker knows he's delaying their grand romance until after the holidays. He got angry and said, there's no grand romance, we just have feelings. I never meant for it to happen, okay?

I tried to resist it, but I just feel so unhappy with us. He kept trying to justify himself, how he felt lonely and unappreciated, how I never want to go out or try new things, which is rich coming from him, he's the one who's always too tired to go out, and I can't recall him suggesting any wild adventures. It turned into a circular blame game for a while. Finally I'd had enough. I told him to pack a bag and get out of the house. Go to his moms, go to his mistresses, I don't care. But I wasn't going to sleep under the same roof as him that night.

He started arguing, why should I be the one to leave? This is my house too. I shot back, because you're the one who decided to fuck someone else maybe. He looked upset, maybe more at the situation than at actually hurting me. As he walked out, he said, I'll call to check on the kids tomorrow. Then he was gone. I spent the rest of the night just, numb. I didn't sleep at all.

This morning I had to put on a brave face for the kids and get them to school and daycare. They were confused that Daddy wasn't there for breakfast. but I said he had to go help Grandma with something. So here I am now. It's a week before Christmas. Instead of baking cookies and wrapping presents as a happy family, I'm fielding calls from my mother-in-law accusing me of overreacting. Yep, she called me today.

Apparently my husband went straight to his parents' house. According to Mill, he's devastated that I kicked him out and I'm blowing a small problem out of proportion right before the holidays. She literally said, men have needs, dear. All marriages have rough patches. Couldn't you two have waited to sort this out? Part of me wonders if I should have handled it differently, for the sake of the kids having both parents at Christmas. My husband and his mom clearly think I should have just played along through the holidays and dealt with divorce later. So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not waiting

until after the holidays to confront my husband and effectively blowing up our marriage right before Christmas? Update 1. Hi everyone. I didn't expect my post to get so much attention. I've read a lot of the comments and messages. I'm honestly overwhelmed, in a good way, by the support. The general verdict is that I'm NTA, not the asshole, for refusing to put up with this crap, and I appreciate that validation. I needed to hear it. Some of you had really good advice too. Sorry I can't respond to everyone, but here's what's been happening since my original post. It's been a few days. We're now only two days out from Christmas.

After I kicked my husband out, he's indeed been staying at his parents' house. True to his word, he's called each day to talk to the kids. I keep it strictly about the kids, I put them on the phone and let them chat, but I don't really speak to him beyond necessary stuff. The morning after the blow up, he texted me a long message basically apologizing for how I found out, but not really apologizing for what he said. The text read something like, I'm sorry you heard those things in that way. I was just venting. I never meant to hurt you like this. He even floated the idea of him coming back home for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, for the children's sake,

and after that he'd stay elsewhere while we figure out separation or divorce. Basically, he wants a temporary truce or something. I haven't agreed to anything. I told him I needed time to think. Ben got quiet and asked if we're going to divorce. I guess he's heard that word from a classmate or TV. That about broke my heart. I told him we haven't decided anything like that and no matter what, we both love him and his sister. It was hard to get those words out without crying. Little Lily is thankfully too young to grasp any of this. Speaking of Christmas, the current plan, if you can call it that, is evolving. After I didn't agree to his initial suggestion, my husband asked if we could meet in person,

without the kids, to talk. I said fine, and we arranged to meet yesterday at a local diner for coffee. Our talk at the diner was, tense. He started by saying he was sorry for how I found out, and that he never wanted me to be hurt like that. I pointed out he wouldn't have been hurt if he hadn't been saying those things and having an affair behind my back. He didn't have a great answer to that. He said the word affair is harsh because it never got physical. Eventually, we agreed on a tentative holiday arrangement. On Christmas Day, he can come over in the morning to watch the kids'

open presents and maybe stay for a couple hours. But he will not stay overnight Christmas Eve or or play happy husband. But it seems like a compromise that focuses on the kids. I did lay down a few conditions. One, we keep things polite and cordial in front of the kids. Two, no gift exchanges between us. I honestly don't want a gift from him at this point, and I'm certainly not shopping for him. Three. He leaves by early afternoon to go have dinner with his own family or whatever. I plan to take the kids to my parents' house later on Christmas Day anyway, so that will be my escape. He agreed without any fight. He's been oddly agreeable about whatever involves the kids, which is good, I guess. The lawyer said since he left the house voluntarily, I'm under no obligation to let him move back in,

and that I shouldn't leave the house either. It could affect who gets to keep it. Basically, sit tight and don't let him push me out of the status quo until legal steps are in place. Two. Living situation, he's still at his parents and has taken more clothes and personal items over there. It looks like he doesn't plan to come back to live here, period. Fine by me. I changed the locks the day after he left, the lawyer said it's a gray area to do that since its shared property, but at the time I did it for my own peace of mind. She did send a passive aggressive text about praying for our family during these difficult times. whatever. My own parents are supportive, my mom is furious at my husband, and my dad offered to

drive over and have a talk with him. I told them I have it under control and will come visit them on Christmas Day so the kids can feel some normalcy, and I can be with people who actually love me. I'm still a mess but holding it together for the kids. Nights are the worst, I keep running through everything in my head. It's weird, one moment I'm heartbroken, the next I'm just angry. I'll update again after the holiday chaos if anything significant happens. Update 2. I've been meaning to update, but dealing with real life took priority. This community has been incredibly supportive, and I feel like I owe it to everyone who's been following along. First off, Christmas. It actually went okay, all things considered.

True to our arrangement, my ex-husband came over on Christmas morning. I was anxious as hell waiting for him, but when he arrived, we kept it very civil. I think we were both in perform for the kids' mode. We managed to smile and focus on Ben and Lily unwrapping their gifts. The kids were thrilled to have both of us there, and I don't think they picked up on the tension. We kept it light. He stayed for about three hours. I made coffee and set out some cinnamon rolls we exchanged basic polite conversation about the kids' excitement, etc. At one point, I caught him looking around the living room with this nostalgic expression,

like maybe he was realizing this was the last time we do this as a family. Who knows? I didn't ask him what he was thinking, I honestly didn't want to know and risk getting emotional. When it was time for him to go, I told the kids beforehand that Daddy would be going to grandmas for Christmas dinner and then we'd go to Nana and Papa's later. The kids got a bit upset. Lily wanted Daddy to stay and play with her new toys. That was heartbreaking.

He promised her he'd come visit in a couple days to play. After he left, I took the kids to my parents' house and we spent a few days there. That was a much-needed break for me, my mom and dad doted on the kids and let me just be. I might have had a small breakdown crying on my mom's shoulder Christmas night after the kids were asleep. But by the next day, I pulled it together. My parents didn't push me to talk more than I wanted to. They did encourage me to see the divorce through and not let him try to wiggle out or slow walk it. Fast forward to New Year's, we were back home by then.

My husband, I'll just call him my husband for now, though mentally I'm already thinking excess to see the kids on New Year's Day. We went over everything, finances, assets, kids, etc. It's going to be a bit complicated. We have a house with a mortgage, some savings, retirement accounts, and two cars. Also, we both work full-time, but he earns quite a bit more than I do. The lawyer said I could file on grounds of adultery or irreconcilable differences. Either way, it likely won't affect asset division or custody unless I want to push the adultery angle to get more leverage.

I decided not to make it messier than needed by slinging mud in legal filings, I just went out cleanly and what's fair. We officially filed for divorce about two weeks ago. He is He, on the other hand, is asking for a true 50 to 50 split in terms of time. That surprised me because he's never been the primary caregiver type. Don't get me wrong, he loves the kids, but I've always been the one handling school, doctor appointments, PDA, playdates, etc., especially given his long hours at work. I suspect his push for 50 to 50 is more about reducing child support payments, which, yes, the lawyer confirmed, with his income, if I have primary custody, He'll be paying a significant amount in child support.

If it's 50 to 50, no one pays or it's minimal depending on income disparity. This custody discussion has been the first real battle. When we talked, through lawyers initially, I flat out said I don't think 50 to 50 is feasible with his job. He works 50 plus hours a week and often travels overnight for work. How is he going to do school drop-offs and pick-ups on his weeks? He seemed annoyed by that, saying we can how. hire nannies or he can have his parents help. His parents? The same in-laws who think I'm the

devil now. I told him I'm not comfortable with our kids being essentially raised by a nanny or shuffled around just so he can claim equal time. He retorted that I'm trying to cut him out of their lives, which is not true at all. I offered generous visitation, basically any time he's free and wants to see them, outside of their routine, I'd accommodate within reason. But having an official 50 to 50 schedule when I know he realistically can't stick to it is just inviting chaos for the kids. We're still working that out. The kids enjoy seeing him, but afterwards Ben gets moody with me. I think he's processing some anger or confusion. I have them in a couple of sessions with a child therapist, another great suggestion I got from comments. That's ongoing, but the therapist said

so far the kids are doing as well as can be expected and advised us to keep routines as stable as possible. The co-worker, a fair partner, many of you asked what's happening there. Well, as far as I know, they are still involved. We haven't had the when to introduce the new partner to the kids' discussion yet. I dread it. I'm hoping he has the sense to wait a good long while. Legally, I can't prevent him from introducing her unless she poses some danger, but I plan to talk to him, calmly, if I can manage, that it would be damaging to throw that at the kids too soon. They're still adjusting to us living apart. Interestingly, I got a Facebook message from someone at his office, an acquaintance of ours,

one of his co-worker friends I've met at holiday parties. She basically said she was sorry to hear about our split and that I deserve better. We agreed to sell the house, because neither of us can afford to keep it on our own, unless I got massive alimony, which I'm not banking on. I'm sad about that, it's the home my kids have grown up in, but realistically it's too big for just me and the kids anyway. We'll likely list it after the school year ends so the kids don't have to move mid-year. In the meantime, I'm staying here and paying the mortgage, with his financial help as ordered by a temporary arrangement. Splitting assets is a headache,

but, thankfully we aren't at each other's throats about every little item. He let me keep the car I primarily drive, and he kept his. We divided most of the bank accounts already, I moved half of the joint savings into my own account per lawyer advice, he didn't contest that. Where we differ is he's trying to say some of his annual bonus from work shouldn't count as marital asset because it was awarded after our separation. My lawyer is pushing back because it was earned during the marriage this might be something the lawyers negotiate. Throughout all this, my soon-to-be ex and I have been communicating mostly via email or lawyers. There have been a couple of times we spoke in person when exchanging the kids, and it's civil, just awkward. He actually

apologized again one of those times. He said, I'm really sorry for everything, I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't have much response. I just said, it is what it is. Let's just focus on the kids. He looked kind of sad, but then the kids came running out and that conversation ended. I wouldn't say he's fighting the divorce at this point. It's happening. But he is fighting to get as much time with kids as possible and to not get screwed financially. Understandable, I guess. I'm trying to be fair but also stand up for myself and the kids' best interests.

It's a fine line. One more thing, I did end up chatting with his first ex-wife, Emily's mom, briefly. We'd only interacted a handful of times in the past, ex-wife lives a couple states away now. She called me after she heard through Emily about what happened. To my surprise, she was very kind and even offered to help if I needed any info on how his last divorce went. I took the opportunity to carefully ask why their marriage ended, because I only ever heard my husband's sanitized version.

I figured one day he'd realize what he lost, but by then it's too late. That gave me some weird comfort. It's not me, it's him. If I'm boring and predictable, well, so was wife one eventually. and likely any stable partner would be once real life sets in. Divorce is in progress, things are civil on the surface but tense underneath. I'm trying to keep busy, still working full time, taking care of my munchkins, and leaning on friends and family for support.

It's hard, not going to lie. Some days I wake up and for a split second I forget all this happened, I think he's next to me or I plan something for us. Then I remember I'm basically on my own now. Other days I feel strangely hopeful about starting fresh once this is all behind me. I'll continue to update as things progress.