Reddit Stories - ARROGANT Grinder INSISTED on being present in the BIRTHING chamber during my labor.

Episode Date: November 16, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #pregnancy #laboranddelivery #familydrama #boundariesSummary: An ARROGANT Grinder INSISTED on being present in the BIRTHING chamber during my labor, causing tension and discomfort. The situation escalated as boundaries were crossed, leading to a heated confrontation and a difficult decision.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, pregnancy, laboranddelivery, familydrama, boundaries, confrontation, decisionmaking, personalboundaries, childbirth, laborpain, difficultsituation, tensemoment, uncomfortable, heatedargument, challengingdecisionBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Arrogant Grindrins insisted on being present in the birthing chamber during my labor. Upon my refusal, she barged into my infant celebration with unwelcome visitors and later appeared at the event. Hospital anyway and got kicked out. I'm a 28F and my husband is 30M. We've been married three years and we're expecting our first baby in a few months. My mother-in-law, 56F, has always been a bit much, but lately she's.

on another level. I could really use some outside perspective or advice on how to handle her, because things are getting worse. For some background, my mill, I'll call her Linda, has never been great with boundaries. A few greatest hits. One. Early in our marriage, she still had a key to our old apartment and would let herself in when we weren't home. I'd come back to find she had reorganized my kitchen or snooped through our mail. We finally had to get the key back from her. Two, she has a habit of overstepping on decisions that aren't hers. When we bought our house, she insisted on coming to every open house and even tried to negotiate with the realtor without us asking. Three, if we don't answer her calls or texts immediately, she group

texts other family to check if we're alive. It's embarrassing and we've told her to stop, but she just jokes that she worries. Now that I'm pregnant, Linda seems to think this is her event. The moment we announced, she went into overdrive. She started calling the baby my little grandbaby and talking about when my baby is here at my house. She's already set up a fully furnished nursery at her place without asking us. We have no intention of letting our newborn stay over there anytime soon. The biggest issue, she wants to be in the delivery room when I give birth. I am a fairly private person and I don't want anyone except my husband there. We told her this immediately when she started with the I can't wait to see my grandchild-born comments.

We tried to be polite, the delivery will just be me and husband. Linda either didn't take it seriously or think she can wear us down, because she keeps bringing it up constantly. She'll say, oh, I cleared my schedule for the due date so I can be there for our big day. I've repeated myself that it's not happening. Last night was kind of the final straw that led me here. We were at my sister-in-laws, husband's sisters, birthday dinner with family. At the table, out of nowhere, Mill says something like, I hope you're ready for me to catch the baby. In this jokey voice. Then she goes on about how back when she gave birth, it was a family affair and how times have changed but she needs

to be there to support her baby, meaning my husband, while I'm in labor. I was mortified and also angry. I responded, we already talked about this. It's a medical procedure and I'm not comfortable with extra people in the room. She started going on about how I'm depriving her of this experience and she won't forgive me if she's excluded. It got awkward, people changed the subject. Later in the evening, when my husband was across the room, she came up to me quietly and said,

You know, I have a right as the grandmother to be there. This is my grandbaby. She had this smug tone like she just knows she'll get her way. I just kind of froze and then walked away. I told my husband on the drive home and he was pissed on my behalf. He wants to talk to her ASAP and make it clear she is not entitled to be at the birth or make these decisions for us. I'm on board with that, but I'm also dreading the confrontation because she likes to play the victim. She might start crying or call other family members to paint us as the bad guys.

I'm posting this because I'm honestly at a loss on how to enforce boundaries with someone who doesn't listen. how do we make her understand no means no here we want our privacy and to start our lives as new parents without her meddling in every moment but she's acting like we're cruel for not including her in the delivery and every plan any advice on how to set her straight kindly or not so kindly would be appreciated we plan to talk to her in the next couple days i'll take any pointers or scripts to get through to her because logic sure isn't working update one Thank you to everyone who offered advice and shared their own mill horror stories. It really helped my husband and I feel less alone and more confident about standing our ground.

So, we talked to Linda two days after my original post. We figured it was better to do it sooner rather than let her keep thinking everything is her way. We invited her over to our house. We sat her down and my husband basically led the conversation. He told her we wanted to clarify our boundaries regarding the baby, and the birth. Only my husband will be in the delivery room with me. This is not up for discussion. We will let family know I'm in labor after the baby is born, so we don't have people invading the hospital or blowing up our phones while I'm pushing. Once we're home, we'll let her

know when we're ready for visitors. No surprise drop-ins. We tried to keep it straightforward. As expected, Mill did not take it well. She immediately went on the defensive, saying she was being cut out of her own grandchild's birth. She actually said, this isn't just your baby, it's my family's baby, which honestly left both of us stunned for a second. My husband reiterated that yes, the baby is family, but we are the parents and this is our decision. Linda's volume started rising at that point. She accused me of shutting her out and even accused my husband of not having a spine because apparently if he did, he would insist his mother be present for the birth. I stayed mostly quiet during her rant to keep my own temper in check, but when she started

insulting her son, my husband, in front of me, I cut in. I said, look, this is getting out of hand. You are important to us, but this decision is ours to make in its final. We need you to respect that, even if you're upset. She kept sniffing and muttering about how you'll regret this when you need my help and I'm not there, which felt a little like a threat. Not sure. My husband said, we'll ask for help when we want it, but you can't just insert yourself. In the end, the conversation went in circles for a bit. She never actually agreed or said she understood. It was more like she begrudgingly went quiet.

We didn't exactly get an okay, I will respect your wishes from her. Instead, she mumbled something like fine, do what you want in that tone that clearly says she's not fine with it. We did also ask for her house key back during this talk. We gave it because in the worst case scenario when my husband and not available my milk could drive me to the hospital. But some commenters had strongly suggested we do that before the baby comes. Surprisingly, she did hand it over.

After she left in a huff, we immediately changed our door locks that same evening just in case she had copies or tries to get another key. I'm not sure she realized we'd go that far, but we're not taking chances. Thank you to the folks who gave us that wake-up call. So right now, things are awkward, but quiet. She's been sulking and hasn't really contacted us since the blow-up. Aside from a brief group text where she acted overly cheerful like love you guys less than three. We haven't reached out either, giving her some space to cool down.

I have a feeling this calm won't last once the due date gets closer, but at least we think she knows we mean business now. Husband and I are on the same page and he's been amazing at backing me up. It sucks that it had to get a bit ugly, but I'm glad we drew a line clearly. We'll see what happens next. For now we're focusing on getting things ready for baby and enjoying the relative piece. I'll update again if there's any more excitement, for lack of a better word. Update 2. Hi, I'm back.

I wish I could say that setting boundaries once was all it took, but if I'm course not. It's been a few weeks since the last update. I'm about eight months along now, in the home stretch. And as some of you predicted, the quiet didn't last. At first, Mill did keep her distance for a couple of weeks after our talk. My husband would text her short updates like Dr. Appointment went well and she'd reply with a thumbs-up emoji or something. No more big confrontations. Until we hit a new snag, the baby shower. My best friend and my sister offered to throw a baby shower for me. It was going to be a casual co-ed barbecue at my sister's house, just family and close friends.

We invited Mill, of course, and my husband's side of the family. We did not invite a bunch of Mill's friends, some of whom I barely know, because, well, it's our baby shower, not hers. Apparently, that was a grave offense in Mill's world. About a week before the shower, she asked why her church friends weren't invited. Mind you, I've met them maybe twice. I explained gently that we were keeping it small. She got all huffy, saying, well, I already told them about it and now it's awkward. I was annoyed because she had no business announcing our shower to random people. I told her, sorry, but we aren't having a big event. She dropped it. Or so I thought. The day of the shower comes.

It started off really nice. Mill showed up early, at least she rang the bell. She doesn't have a key anymore. She was kind of oddly cheerful, which I took as an improvement. She even brought a bunch of food without asking, just showed up with like four extra dishes. We already had catering and snack sorted, so it was excessive, but I chose not to make it an issue and thanked her. Well, about an hour into the party, guess who shows up? three of Mill's church friends, whom we did not invite. They walked in looking a bit unsure,

saying, Linda told us to stop by. I was standing there extremely confused, and pretty annoyed. My husband went over to politely talk to them. He basically said, I'm so sorry, there must be a misunderstanding. This is a private shower for close friends and family only. The ladies looked embarrassed and one of them even showed a text on her phone from Mill, inviting them. Before my husband could respond further, Mill swoops in loudly, don't be rude, I invited them. The more the merrier, right? She then literally starts grabbing extra chairs, trying to usher these women further in. From across the yard I could hear her going on, it's a celebration. There's plenty of food and cake, and I wanted my friends to share the joy.

My husband looked over at me and I could tell he was waiting for my cue. I walked over, probably with a not-so-happy expression, and said, I'm sorry, but this is actually a small planned gathering. We aren't really equipped for extra guests. I tried to be nice about it, but essentially I was asking these ladies to leave my own baby shower because Mill decided she runs the show. They were polite, thankfully. They apologized and said they didn't realize it wasn't an open invite.

One of them even said to Mill, I wish you'd told us it was just family, we don't want to intrude, but Mill just patted her arm and insisted, nonsense. You're practically family to me. I was fuming inside, but I didn't want a huge, ugly scene at the shower. My husband told his mom quietly, this isn't your event to invite people too. We talked about this. And Mill started arguing that I was being inhospitable and these ladies are important to me, they should be important to the baby too.

Um, what? At that point my own mom came over and sort of defused things by suggesting we move on to cake and gifts, basically to create a natural end to the party soon. It was a tactful way to shut things down early before Mill's meddling ruined the whole vibe. After the shower, I knew we needed another serious talk with Mill, but honestly I didn't have the energy to handle it that exact day. The next day, my husband and I went over to her house. figured maybe she'd behave better on her own house.

It was basically, don't ever pull a stunt like that again. We explained that we host events for our life milestones, not her, and she needs to ask before inviting random people. She kept trying to defend herself, claiming the shower was lacking and needed more people to be festive. It was insane. We told her point blank she owes us an apology for overstepping. She sort of mumbled a half-hearted sorry you felt that way non-apology, which we called out as

not good enough. The conversation got heated again when we brought up the delivery, since this all ties back to her not respecting boundaries. We reminded her we haven't changed our stance, if anything, her recent behavior made us more determined to keep things private. That's when she dropped a bombshell, she said she had talked to her friend who was a nurse at the hospital to find out what the visitor policy is and make sure she can get in. She basically admitted she's been plotting to show up at the hospital when I give birth, despite

all our prior discussions. I saw a red. I literally asked, are you serious? You plan to just ignore everything we've said and show up. She got flustered and backpedaled like, it's just in case you change your mind and need me there. Right, sure. I told her, we are not changing our minds. If you try to come when I'm in labor, we will have hospital security escort you out.

She started crying that I'm threatening her and being so cruel to the grandmother. My husband was furious too and told her this was her last warning. I've never seen him speak to his mom in such an icy tone. He was so angry. I was proud of him for drawing that line. We left with things very tense. Mill texted later that night a long message to my husband basically playing victim, saying I only wanted to make your lives easier and be there for you,

but I'm obviously not wanted. And then the classic I guess I'll just wait until you're ready to include me. I'm so hurt, but I love you anyway. Definitely a guilt trip. He didn't bite. So that's where it is now. She's on an unofficial timeout. We aren't engaging with her except for very surface-level contact.

I'm doing a few weeks and honestly I'm anxious she might actually try something when I go into labor, given her little inside connection comment. We informed our hospital about the situation and set up a password on our info, etc. They assured us no one can barge in if we say no. Thank goodness our hospital takes security seriously. To be honest, I'm exhausted by all this drama on top of being super pregnant. The plan is basically to not tell Mill I'm in labor until after the baby is born, and even then possibly delay a bit if we need to.

My husband even warned the rest of his family that will share news when we can, and please do not tell Mill if they somehow find out I'm in labor. Everyone agreed, though I suspect Mill might be stalking us for any hint. Fingers crossed things go smoothly. Update 3. Hello again. This update took a bit longer because, well, I had the baby. Our little boy arrived, healthy and perfect.

and dad are alive but running on very little sleep. But you're here for the Mill Saga, and oh boy, did things go down. Firstly, labor and delivery, I went into labor a bit earlier than expected, about a week before my due date. We had a whole plan to avoid Mill interference, and I'm happy to report it mostly worked. We didn't tell a soul we were heading to the hospital, just quietly drove over when my contractions got regular. My sister was our backup support person, so we let her know to be on standby, she was the only other person we were okay with being around for the birth, if needed. She met us there but stayed in the waiting area, just to be another set of eyes in case Mill somehow showed up. We had informed the hospital about Mill, and they had a

note on my file and a password system in place. I was in labor for nearly a full day. After the baby was born, healthy baby boy, by the way, we took a couple hours to ourselves to rest and bond. Then my husband started sending out the announcement texts to family, including Mill, basically baby is here, mom and baby are healthy. We'll let you know when we're ready for visitors. Apparently, Mill was at the hospital within an hour of getting that text. She just dropped everything and came. I'm still in the delivery room, like two hours postpartum, exhausted in holding my baby,

when a nurse comes in and says, there's a woman in the waiting room who says she's your mother-in-law. She really wants to see you. My husband and I just exchanged a look of disbelief and anger. We told the nurse no visitors, please keep her out. The nurse nodded, said no problem, they'd handle it. From what I heard later, from my sister who was still in the waiting area, Mill caused a scene. She apparently freaked out when they told her she couldn't come in. She raised her voice, saying she was the grandmother and had a right to see the baby.

The nurses told her it was our decision and hospital policy to follow the parents' wishes. At one point she tried to slip past when a door opened, and a security guard had to step in front of her. My sister could hear her yelling things like they're keeping my grandchild from me. And this is a violation of my rights. What rights, I have no idea, ultimately, security escorted her out of the maternity ward. So, yeah, that happened. When my husband found out, my sister was texting him updates from down the hall, he was livid. He wanted to go out there and personally tell his mother off, but I begged him not to

leave us. I did not want him abandoning me and our newborn to deal with his rampaging mother. He agreed, albeit reluctantly, and stayed with us. By the time we were moved to a postpartum room, Mill was gone from the hospital. She did, however, blow up our phones with texts. We did not respond. The baby and I had to stay two nights at the hospital, standard procedure. During that time, we allowed exactly two visitors, my sister and mom, both of whom were on strict instructions not to post anything on social media or breathe a word to anyone that might get back to Mill. Meanwhile, we kept telling Mill she could not come yet. My husband sent one single text to her, so we'd have it in writing, stating, your behavior at the hospital was unacceptable.

We are not ready for visitors because of the scene you caused. We will let you know when you can visit after we're home. When we got home, we actually put a sign on our front door. No visitors unless arranged in advance. Do not ring bell, new parents resting. Just trying to cover our bases. Sure enough, the very next morning after we got home, guess who comes knocking? Yep, Mill.

knocking is an understatement, it was frantic pounding and the doorbell ringing over and over. The baby started crying from the noise, I was upstairs and just broke down in frustrated tears while holding him because it felt like we couldn't even have one peaceful day. My husband went to the door and opened it, with chain lock still on. He kept repeating that she needed to leave, that she was told no visitors yet. After a couple of minutes of her refusing to accept that, he warned her if she didn't leave, he'd call the police for trespassing. That finally seemed to get through. We realized this was beyond a normal family dispute. It had escalated to harassment. My husband was extremely upset. Not only

did she disrespect our wishes, she disrupted our first day home and stressed out his recovering wife, me, and our newborn. So, we decided to talk to a lawyer. Specifically, we consulted a family attorney about our options if she kept this up, and about that grandparent rights threat she had thrown at us earlier. The lawyer basically told us that in our state, grandparents have no standing to demand visitation if the parents are together and the child isn't in any danger. So her threats were empty, which we suspected, but it felt good to hear officially. He also advised that we document everything and suggested sending a formal cease and desist letter to Mill, instructing her to stop the harassing behavior, unannounced visits, trying to force contact, etc.

As that could help if we ever needed to pursue a restraining order. We took his advice. We had the lawyer draft a very straightforward letter outlining her specific actions and clearly stating that she must stop interfering and harassing us, or further legal action would be taken. We send it via certified mail, so we have proof she received it. To be honest, it felt sad to escalate to a lawyer against my husband's own mother. But at this point, enough was enough.

She left us no choice to make it clear we were serious. After the letter was delivered, about a week ago, we got a short email from Mill. Surprisingly, it was polite and concise. She wrote that she received the message and that she understands we need space. That was literally it. I suspect the combination of being confronted by security at the hospital, getting threatened with police at our house, and then a lawyer's letter, finally broke through that denial she was in. My husband also ended up having a long talk with his

dad, F-I-L, about everything. Phil, who usually stays out of this stuff, was furious with Mill when he found out about the hospital scene. According to Phil, he had yelled at her, which I have never heard of him doing, and told her she absolutely embarrassed herself and him. I think hearing her own husband say he was ashamed of her behavior was a huge slap of reality for her too. So as of now, we have had zero in-person contact with Mill since the baby was born. And honestly, it's been a relief. The stress level in our house plummeted. We finally got to enjoy our first weeks with our baby without her chaos. Update 4, final, it's been a couple of months now, and I wanted to give a final update to close this out. Things have settled into a much calmer state,

I'm happy to report. Mill has been keeping her distance. After that lawyer letter and my Phil basically taking our side, she essentially withdrew. We did not hear from her at all for a good while, which was honestly a godsend. In the meantime, we soaked up time with our baby, established our own routine as new parents, and generally recovered from the whole ordeal. About a month after the baby was born, Mill reached out via email. She seems to know to keep things in writing now.

In the email, she actually offered something resembling an apology, or at least an acknowledgment. She said she was sorry for getting carried away and that she only wanted to help, but realizes now she went about it the wrong way. She said she misses all of us and hopes to be forgiven eventually. It wasn't a perfect apology, there were a few justifications like I didn't know how else to show my love, but she at least admitted her actions caused us stress and that she regrets the outcome. We took our time to consider how to respond. My husband and I talked it over. We decided to give her one cautious chance at being involved, but under very strict conditions. We replied, also via email, to keep everything documented, that we appreciate her

reaching out and are willing to have a conversation about moving forward if and only if she can accept our rules and boundaries without argument. Then we listed those expectations clearly again, for example no unannounced visits, respect our parenting decisions, no means no, etc. She agreed in writing. So, we arranged a short meet-up for her to see the baby for the first time. I have to admit I was anxious, but it actually went okay. She cried when she saw her grandson. She didn't try to snatch him or anything, and she asked permission to hold him.

We let her, and she was gentle and careful. She only stayed about 30 minutes. We kept the conversation light, mostly about how the baby is doing. When she started to veer into self-pity territory, we quickly steered it to another topic. Overall, she behaved appropriately during that visit. Since then, we've allowed a handful of supervised visits, always scheduled in advance and kept short. Either we invite her over when both my husband and I are home, or we meet at my in-law's place

when my sister-in-law or Phil is also there. Mill has not stepped out of line in these visits. In fact, she's been trying to show that she's respecting our rules. She'll text and actually wait for an answer instead of just showing up, she asks before picking the baby up, stuff like that. It's a big change from how she was before. I remain optimistic but still on guard. I think she knows that if she messes up again significantly,

we will cut contact without hesitation. My husband made it very clear to her that this is essentially probation. And it seems the fear of losing access to her grandchild for good is keeping her in check for now. Anyway, I'm signing off now. I'm going to go enjoy a rare moment of quiet while the baby naps.