Reddit Stories - Became PREGNANT while in a casual ARRANGEMENT and had no desire for CHILDREN,

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #pregnancy #casualrelationship #noregrets #unexpectednews #lifechangingSummary: A woman became pregnant while in a casual arrangement and had no desire for children. Facing unexpected news, she navigates the complexities of her situation and grapples with the life-changing consequences of her pregnancy.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, pregnancy, casualrelationship, noregrets, unexpectednews, lifechanging, parenting, relationships, decisionmaking, unplanned, challenges, emotions, personalgrowth, responsibility, communication, supportBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Became pregnant while in a casual arrangement and had no desire for children, but his relatives pushed me to have the baby. Now I struggle to feel any affection for my daughter and want to give up my parental rights. I know this will make me seem bad in all, but above all I really just need a place to vent. I can't talk about it with my friends or family nor do I really want to. I'm 27 and I've had a FWB situation with a guy I went to. to college with. Let's call him Mark. We were both young and not ready for a relationship.

Then I got pregnant. I told Mark about it since I wanted to discuss our options. Abortion, adoption, or even giving him custody if he wanted to. I never wanted kids, so I'd be fine with any compromise. However, Mark didn't take it well. I remember him insisting we could make it work, especially since we were both in our last year old college. He wanted to get married and for us to be a family. I refused. He got his family involved. They called and texted me all the time, even showing up at my part-time job.

I know I have no one to blame but myself, but I gave up. I had too many things going on at that time like the loss of my mother, the stress with the rest of the family and some stuff going on with my best friend that I won't get into. I remember feeling horrible, but I relented and agreed to keep the baby although I still refuse to get married to Mark. Now we have a five-year-old daughter together. I'm a mess. I never wanted kids and although I'm trying, I can't feel any motherly love for her. What makes it worse is that she's genuinely a good kid. She doesn't throw much tantrums, she's always kind and she doesn't expect much. I feel guilty for hating her. I feel bad all the time. I only get to have her on

the weekends and Mark has her every other day, but that doesn't make me feel better. She talks about wanting to see me and her dad together, but I just can't. I screamed at her once when she drew a little picture of me and Mark holding hands. I apologized after, but I still felt so guilty. I don't know what I'm doing. I just needed to write everything down and get it off my chest. I know I'm a bad mother, I know it. But I don't know how to be better. I don't even know if I want to be better. I just want to give up my parental rights, but even the thought makes me feel even worse. I'm stuck in a hell of my own making. I know I should have fought harder and probably just abort her. Damn me for being weak, I guess. Update 1. Some things have happened and I need to write

them down, maybe even get some insight. I'll call my daughter Abby for the sake of this post. I ended up telling Mark about my desire to change the custody arrangement and maybe even removing my parental rights. Many people here agreed that it's the best choice, both for me and for Abby. He didn't take it well and actually texted me about it through the week. He insisted we could work out whatever was bothering me. We agreed a while ago that texting is okay, but calls are for emergencies only. So when he called me on Friday evening and pleaded with me to come see Abby, I agreed.

This is what I really need to talk about. I've seen Abby cry before, but this was something else. She had a complete meltdown, screaming and crying once I got there. She just clung to my leg and screamed at me not to leave her. Why did I want to leave her? What did she do wrong? I cried. I was honestly horrified with how badly she reacted.

Mark's mom ended up telling Abby that I was planning on leaving her and she's not going to go to my house this weekend. I had to take Abby to my place sooner than expected and Mark actually spent the night over as well. He said he's too concerned with Abby and with me to leave us alone. I'm completely lost. Even with the way I said that I want to give up my parental rights, I just can't do it now. The image of Abby crying and pleading with me not to leave is just stuck in my mind.

I feel hopeless about the entire situation. Currently, I'm laying with Abby on the couch and she's watching TV. She hasn't really left my side since yesterday. I'm used to her pointing at the TV while talking about her favorite characters of whatever cartoon is on. Right now, she's just laying by my side and staying quiet. I can hear Mark moving around in the kitchen. He called in sick to work and said he's staying here for the weekend.

I have no idea what to do. And I'm sorry, but I no longer want to leave Abby, that's not an option anymore. Update 2, I'm not sure if people are still interested in what's going on here, but here goes. Writing everything down helps me keep track of things and I also want to hear people's thoughts. For anyone wondering how Abby is doing, she seems to be doing okay. She's still a little clingy with me, but she's back to her happy self. We've been observing her behavior closely and Mark decided that a therapist is

needed. I'm not sure I agree with that, but Abby really does seem to be feeling all right. And for anyone wondering about Mark's mom, she's had no contact with Abby since what happened, though Mark has been talking with her. I've been trying to read all the comments people left on my last posts. What was written about Mark got me thinking? I haven't actually mentioned it before since I didn't think it was important, but back in college we were both using protection with me also being on birth control. I do believe the pregnancy was a genuine accident, though I became a bit paranoid after some of the things people wrote. Mark has dated some girls for the past few years as far as I'm aware. We haven't had too much

contact though. We would mostly talk about Abby when we did text. Still, the past month had been more than weird for me. We've been talking more. He apologized to me a lot. I can't tell if those apologies were real or not. My best friend told me to keep Mark at arm's length, but it's been hard to do that with him coming over more often on the weekends to spend time with Abby and me. He's been inviting me to his home too, and I went a few times when Abby really begged me too. I'm trying to make sense of the situation, but it's hard. I'll be having my first therapy session tomorrow, so there's that too. Online? I guess I'm hoping for some help in the comments. I don't know. I don't know what to expect. I'll try to answer any questions people might have for me.

I know this post is probably kind of a mess. Update 3. Hi. I don't know if anyone is going to read this, but I have been getting some private messages with people asking about me, so I figured I could make an update. I've been going to therapy. It's been difficult. Everything was all right at first, to be honest. Me and my therapist got to grow comfortable around each other. I think she's nice. We've been talking about my issues way more recently.

Safe to say, it's kind of sad to realize how shitty my life has really been since the start. I've been taking my new medication for a few weeks, but I'm not sure it's making a difference. For anyone wondering, yes, Abby has been seeing a therapist for about two months now. I put my foot down about it for once. Felt weird. Abby's been happier, I think. Me and her therapist occasionally chat about her progress and he's been giving me some tips about what Abby wants. We've been spending more time together.

I have alternative weekends with her now. She's good at solving puzzles. She likes octopuses for some reason. When I walk around the house, she'd attempt to trip me by walking around my legs. Like a cat, I think. It doesn't work, but she keeps trying. I'm doing the same thing with her that my mom did with me. Cooking is an important skill.

For now, she gets to watch me in the kitchen. and see how I prepare things. I think I'll let her start giving suggestions and start asking what the proper steps are to making a meal. We're going to wait a bit before she starts helping around. I'm sure that some people wonder what happened with Mark. Nothing, to be honest. I stopped opening the door when he came by. He hasn't really been bothering me. We only really talked when we changed the custody arrangement a bit. We text mainly about Abby again. From what Abby, Abby says, Mark's mom has been around again. But I think she's on her best behavior around my daughter since Abby hasn't been asking any weird questions. I'm not sure what else to say.

Things are fine otherwise. Maybe I'll update again if anything interesting happens or to tell people how things changed. Thank you for the people that have been reaching out. Comment where OP has replied. Comment, I've thought about you a lot, really happy to see an update. I'm glad you and Abby started therapy, the best decision that could have been made. I'd like to ask, how are you feeling right now about Abby after starting to get professional help for the both of you? How is she feeling now, that you can tell? Hugs, Opie, I wish you and her the best. Oop, my therapist explained that I don't hate Abby, not really. I've had a lot of resentment bubbled up inside due to the circumstances and timing of her birth. I've been officially diagnosed

with PPD, so that certainly didn't make things better. She encouraged me to take things slow and not feel pressured into immediately becoming an attentive and loving mother. I've been spending time with Abby now more out of my own choice and not because I didn't see any other option. It's been helping. And as far as I can tell, Abby's doing mostly all right. From what her therapist told me, she feels like my protector. She's been seeing for years that I'm sad all the time. When she was being taken care of by my best friend, he'd tell her I'm just having a really bad day slash week. She's never really seen me truly happy, so she decided to be the hero that makes me happy. Apparently, she was scared of losing me and the opportunity of

making me happy when her grandma told her I was going to abandon her. Still can't really wrap my head around it. Her therapist has been working with her to let go of that mentality and it seems to be going all right. Update 4, I've thought a lot about whether or not I should write another update here. My best friend said that Reddit is the reason my life took a different course, so this feels important in a way. I don't know if anyone is going to see this, but it doesn't really matter. Writing here feels like screaming into a black hole. Abby is six now. She's had her birthday only two months ago. She's happy. I'm happy she's happy. I'm happy she's happy. I got her an octopus plush. She's been sleeping with it every night and carrying it everywhere

she goes. There's been an incident of her losing it at her grandparents, but she cried a lot and her grandpa found it and gave it back to her. Feels like a part of me might be with her for as long as she keeps that plush. I'm pregnant again. This can come across as a shock to people. It did to me too. I know that anyone who reads this will be disappointed with me. Me and Mark ended up sleeping together again. I don't remember it. Abby had her birthday party while staying with Mark. We had a few drinks and talked a lot that night. I don't remember drinking enough to black out, but it's what happened. We haven't talked about it since. I haven't told him I'm pregnant. My best friend says I need to get an abortion ASAP, but I got to be honest. I don't even care

anymore. It's one bad thing after another in my life. Since I started therapy, so many things started clicking into place for me. There's so many things I've repressed just because of how terrible they were. My meds aren't making a difference. They just numb the urge to scratch my skin raw. That's all. The urge is still there. Hopefully, this is the last update I ever make on this account.

It may not have meant anything to anyone here, but some comments really felt like a lifeline for me. I have read everything and I hope all those people live happily. A goodbye here feels very grim. So maybe this is a see you later kind of thing? Who even knows? Next story, girlfriend never gives me real feedback on my music even though I keep asking for honest criticism so I tricked her into listening to one of my songs

without telling her I made it and she called it boring garbage. So let me start off by saying that I know this was slightly manipulative. I deceived her my omission, and it speaks volumes about my communication skills. I understand that, and I actually feel really guilty about it. But here's what happened. I, 28M, and my girlfriend, 28F, is very critical about music. I make music on my own, but I never felt like she ever gave me real criticism of my music,

despite me pleading with her to give me something blunt and real. She always said it was great, and never had anything to say about it. But when she would critique other music, she would get extremely detailed with it, critiquing music down to the very last detail. I really admire her thoughts on music, and all I really wanted was for her to do that for my music as well. But she would always just say it was great without saying much else, and I never believed her due to the stark differences in how she would frame these opinions.

So one day, I had her listened to some music, without telling her it was mine. I just said, hey, check out this track. without saying it was mine. She went in. She said it was the work of someone who had no idea what they were doing. The composition was all over the place, and it didn't flow together. Sections of the song were much too long, there was a rise without a climax, and she said it was all around just a boring song. When I told her it was my song, she got really, extremely upset. She said I was an asshole for lying to her, I manipulated her, and that she can never trust me again. She took a bunch of things and stayed at her parents' house last night. I feel terrible, but at the same

time, I also feel a bit vindicated. Also, I feel like she's overreacting. I don't really know where to go from here, because I don't want to lie to her about how I feel about what I did, feel sort of bad, but then again not really. Did I do the right thing? Comments where OP has replied, comment one. Regardless of the specifics, she very clearly told you I don't want to do this thing, and you tricked her into doing the thing she clearly told you she didn't want to do. If you want to get it all mixed up in feelings around music criticism, that's your business, but the plain facts are as above. And people are allowed to feel that's it not cool to A, not have their own decisions about what they don't want to do be respected and B, be tricked

by someone they trusted. If the vindication about her opinion is worth doing A and B to her, her, then I guess it was worth it and you'll just need to live with the fallout from it. Oop, she didn't tell me she didn't want to critique my music. While I agree with most people here that I did something manipulative, and I feel horrible about it, I think it highlights a bigger issue of communication in this relationship. I value blunt honesty, and she knows this about me, yet continue to placate me and tell me it's great with no real comment. I felt that was condescending.

I totally regret not grilling her on this kind of thing. but I didn't think it was fair for me to force her to tell me something she obviously didn't want to tell me, but I also don't think it's fair that she kept lying to me, telling me that my music is great when I have to manipulate her into admitting she was lying the whole time. This was a breakdown in communication in a huge way, and while neither of US are saints, I don't believe I was the only bad guy in this situation. Comment two, one, I hope you don't feel bad. She's your girlfriend and not someone who's expected to love everything you create. You do appreciate her criticism and she gave it to you.

You should be glad if you respect her opinion. Apologize for manipulating her and thank her for her honest feedback. Let her know that her opinion of your song does not hurt your feelings and then in the future, you don't have to play games like that to get her opinion. Good luck. Oop, I really do appreciate the actual opinion she gave me, but I lost respect for her as a person, just because I frankly feel infantilized by her desire to lie to me in order to protect my feelings

when I was bluntly trying to tell her that I really want her real, blunt opinions on my music. Comment three, good people don't enjoy insulting or hurting their partners. It's not fun, it's painful. If you so is anything like me, then critiquing the creative work of someone you love is bad as the same as insulting that person. It's taking something she knows you worked hard on and telling you your effort was worthless. That is not an enjoyable experience. It's painful and it's extremely unkind of you to put her in the position. She wants to keep your relationship positive.

You've ruined that and it will be very hard for her to forgive you for that. Update, hi everyone. I didn't get a whole lot of well-wishing words for me on my last post. Most people felt that I was manipulative, took away her agency of choice by deceiving her, and that I deserve to have my relationship fall apart. well, you guys were right. You win. She hadn't officially broken up with me, but I could tell the relationship had been in its final stages. Long story short, the day after I wrote my post, i.e. the day I responded to most of the comments, a few hours later, I called her, told her to stay

at her mom's place, that we were fundamentally incompatible, and that this obviously wasn't going to work out. I wanted to provide some background to our relationship, to clarify what I believe to be a few misunderstandings in the responses to my previous post. I had been asking her for a long time to provide me with honest critique to my music. I've approached her before about why her answers are so vague and placate why when it comes to my music. I told her I can obviously see the contrast between that and how she critiques all music, whether she likes it or not. She outright denied that she was just placating me, and that there's nothing to worry about, and all my music is great, and that I'm being crazy about it.

The last time her and I talked about this, I was not subtle in my communication. I directly told her that I would value her critiques and take it to heart, whether the critique was positive or negative. I just really wanted her opinion, particularly considering that she's been a primary inspiration to some of my best work.

I had made it clear that I really just didn't want to be placated, because music is so, so important to me, and the same goes for her, and I'm not in it to get people to suck me off and tell me how great I am. I want to be the best possible musician I can be. And I also feel incredibly disrespected by being placated, like I'm some child who can't take criticism. I've never given anyone, let alone her, reason to believe that I would need placation. Beyond this, she still denied it all, but I could tell it was pretty much BS, and it was driving me crazy.

So months and months later, I've gotten nowhere with communicating with her, and I still have the nagging suspicion, to the point where I'm not even asking her opinion anymore, because it just makes me mad. A few days ago, it just popped in my mind like it was no big deal, to play her one of my pretty okay, pretty me emo, but still had pretty okay responses from the general public songs. Basically just throw away instrumental I did when I was bored, and kind of dug it at the time. And I didn't tell her it was me. We finished listening, and I asked her what she thought of that tune. She goes off on it, basically hating it. See, my previous post.

I said, okay, thanks so much, I'm so glad I could finally get it out of you, I agree with a lot of what you said. She goes, wait, that's your song. I said, yeah, it's an old one. And she gets mad and says, what the fuck, and we get into an argument about it. She thinks I went out of my way to manipulate her, like it was sociopathic and premeditative. I'm telling her, it's not even that big of a deal. Why were you lying to me in the first place? And she said, because I just don't like your music. Are you happy? And we continue to fight. It escalated to the point where we started swearing, so she said, you know what? I don't

need this, and walked out. She's been there ever since. Fast forward to the breakup conversation. She said she felt guilty about not liking my music for two reasons. One because she thinks it was fucked up that she simply didn't like her so's art, and she was ashamed of that. The other reason is that, a lot of the time, she feels like she doesn't know what she's talking about, and didn't want to rip my music apart like she does with most songs, because she could totally be wrong, and then she'd be an asshole.

I was really upset by this. I feel like I called her out on her lying months ago, and she kept lying to me, instead of, just saying that. I tried so hard to tell her months ago that it's okay if she doesn't like it, but she just clammed up, thinking I was going to fly off the handle and end our relationship over it. After months and months of telling her that I didn't want to be placated, she kept trying to placate me, and wouldn't communicate the real reasons. How am I supposed to expect her to be an adult and communicate what she really feels,

instead of lying to avert imagined conflict when we have relationship issues in the future? Music is such a huge and important piece of our lives together, and this situation probably wouldn't have gotten to where it is if it weren't. It may seem silly to those of you on the outside that what appears to be just a stupid, petty argument lead to the complete breakdown of a relationship. And now I'm just left confused, and lonely. She was also my best friend in the entire world, and there's a void inside of me, and a voice telling me I'm making a huge mistake. And I'm confused, and pulled in multiple directions. Thanks for taking the time read this.