Reddit Stories - BETRAYAL at the Altar_ DEFYING My Mother's Secret AFFAIRS on My Wedding Day_

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayal #altar #mother #affairs #weddingdaySummary:A gripping tale unfolds as a Reddit user recounts the shocking events of their wedding day, filled with betrayal, secrets, and affairs involving their own mother. The story unravels the heartbreaking consequences of defying family expectations.Tags:redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, betrayal, altar, mother, affairs, weddingday, family, secrets, shocking, consequences, personalstory, drama, relationships, marriage, emotional, heartbreakBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My marriage ceremony is not a suitable setting for my mother's casual relationships. I will not allow her to invite a new partner to spoil it. I, a 33-year-old individual who identifies as non-binary, do not have a strong bond with my mother, who is 55 years old. All. She divorced my dad, 60, when I was seven and almost immediately married my stepfather, Mark, whom despite everything I was close with, they remained married until,

I was 16. I was upset when she divorced him and went to live with my dad and stepmom. In my adult life, I've chosen to remain close to my stepdad and even attended his wedding to his current wife, who is a very nice woman. My dad and my stepmom are great people. Since her divorce to my stepdad, my mom has been in and out of relationships, each time claiming this guy is the love of her life until they do something she doesn't like and they aren't the love of her life anymore. Both divorces my dad and my stepdad were for very petty reasons. Dad, I think because he wouldn't allow her to get a new car because the budget was tight. I think the one that lasted the longest was six years and I think it's the current guy she's with, according to my sister. After I left home,

she never did anything with me without her boyfriends. When I was 25, she broke up with her boyfriend and tried to cry to me about it. After working with my therapist, I set the boundary with my mother that if she wasn't willing to do anything with me without her boyfriend to not bother and I didn't want to talk about her love life. She was very hurt and we fell out for a while, but she came back around about a year later and has respected my rules since, but we only get together about three or four times per year. I understand that my mom's relationships and love life are important to her, so I respect that we don't get together often. Fast forward to this year. I'm getting married to my partner, 35M, of a decade in October.

It's a small intimate backyard wedding and reception slash barbecue. We live in a rural area and our backyard wedding will have roughly 40 people. My dad, stepmom, stepdad, and his new wife have all been invited. My mom asked if she could bring her boyfriend. I said no because I don't know him. My mom asked if she could bring him to meet me so I could meet him before the wedding. I said no and that I still had no interest in meeting her boyfriends. She said she understood, but she felt it was unfair that I wasn't allowing her a plus one to my wedding

when my dad and my stepdad were allowed to bring their spouses. I told her that the difference was that I knew their spouses. She wanted to know why I was so adamant about refusing to get to know her boyfriend. I explained to her that I saw no need since she'd just break up with them and move on to someone else eventually as she has always done before. She started to cry and told me I was being unreasonable and treating her as if she's a W.H. Both my fiancé and my sister feel like I should suck it up for one day and let her bring her boyfriend so she can be comfortable there. I'm seriously considering it but I wanted

to know if I'm T.A. here for sticking to my boundary at my wedding and what your thoughts are. Update 1. After reading everything here, I've decided to email my mother and invite him. I was already leaning towards telling her that he can come when I posted. I decided to set some ground rules for my mother. One, he is there as a plus one to my mother only. I made it clear to her that he is not my family and he is not my stepfather so I will appreciate her not telling other people at the wedding he is my stepfather. Mark is my stepfather and he will be there. Two, he is not to be in any family photos. In fairness, my stepdad Mark won't be in any family photos either, only my mom, dad, stepmom, and my siblings. Three, he is not to approach a lot of

me at any point during the wedding and reception. 4. This does not change my previous boundaries. I'm only allowing him to come for her own comfort and to create a sense of fairness. I respect the fact she is in a relationship but that her love life has nothing to do with me and I wish to keep it that way. 5. I told my mother that these are my terms for him being at my wedding and my terms are final and that I hope she can respect the fact that I'm trying to be reasonable. I used this opportunity to remind her the reasons I put the boundary up in the first place.

These reasons included forcing me to do activities with her shorter-term boyfriends in the past, forcing me to only discuss her love life while showing no interest in my life, and putting her relationships above her own children. If she responds, I'll let everyone know. Update 2, my mom called me within 10 minutes of getting the email. She thanked me for allowing him to come and said they would abide by my terms. She said she felt really hurt that during her actions during her midlife crisis are why I'm refusing to meet her current boyfriend, who she says she's been with for 7.5 years, and that she thought things would eventually calm down enough where I would be comfortable meeting him. She said she now realizes that it will never happen. I told her that I'm firm on my stance. I think she started to cry, but she said she understood and only wants him there because being around my dad and stepdad and their new wives.

My dad has been married for 23 years and my stepdad for 12 makes her anxious and he helps keep her calm. She said she respects my stance and said it's her own fault I feel this way. I felt this may be the start of a guilt trip so I politely ended the call. Update 3. I don't want to be around my mother but I want to be around family. I've decided to estrange myself from my mother. We haven't gotten along since I was 16 and the last several years have been really bad. We only get together about two to four times per year and it always ends with us fighting. I'm tired of it.

I'll be honest, I've considered many times cutting contact with her, but the one thing that's preventing me from fully severing ties is her parents, my grandparents. I love them very much and they are still hurting from my brother choosing to sever ties with her and keeping in low contact with that side of the family. My brother had valid reasons for doing this to her and he will get together with my grandparents if my mother isn't there, but it's hard because they want to see him at the holidays and during special moments. I'm getting married in October and this will be the first event where my mom and brother are in the same area. I've told both of them to stay away from each other, but I'm anticipating

there will be drama because my mom doesn't like to hear she can't do something. I want to make it so we can see each other and be cordial at family events but not hang out otherwise. My youngest brother does something similar. I don't want to write her a letter because I fear that will cause more drama, but I expect she'll eventually call and want to do something with me but I want to say no unless it's at a larger family function. How should I do this? Update 4. My mother thinks she's entitled to alcohol at my wedding. My fiancé, 35M, and I 33NB are getting married in two weeks in our backyard. We will be having a catering speed for our reception afterwards. We decided to have a dry wedding for two reasons. My mom is an alcoholic who is known for making a scene when she gets

drunk and my fiancé has a brother who binge drinks and is at alcohol poisoning on more than one occasion. He doesn't drink all the time but if he starts he can't stop until he either passes out or someone physically restrains him from getting more. I also have an uncle, mom's brother, and a stepdad who are in recovery and don't need the temptation. Neither fiancé and I are big drinkers so we decided to just avoid any problems and just have a dry wedding. We will have a less dry reception party slash honeymoon with some our friends later on, all of our families have. Been supportive, my uncle was especially grateful to us for doing this

since he takes his recovery very seriously and has been seven years sober. I sent out wedding invitations four months ago and said it would be a dry wedding and asked people not to bring alcohol. Now today I get this call from my mom, who also sent an invitation to four months ago. Mom, is it true you're not having alcohol at your wedding? Me, yes, fiancé and I decided we didn't want alcohol during our special time. Mom, that's so silly, it's going to make your wedding boring. Me, well, I'm sorry you feel that way but, fiancé, and I have made our decision, we want

everyone to feel comfortable at our wedding. Mom, clearly, you don't care about my comfort. What if I want to have a little drink to pass the time? Me, like you did at, a different uncle's wedding where you got so drunk and made a horrible scene calling, Uncle's wife a gold digger? Mom, it wasn't my fault. They made the drinks they're too strong. Me, right, I really wish you would address this need to have alcohol wherever you go.

Mom, I don't need to have alcohol. I just think your wedding will be boring without it. You want to have a fun wedding, don't you? Me, it will be a fun wedding, we don't need alcohol to have fun. Mom, this is so stupid, why should everyone else be punished just to make it comfortable for a few people? It seems like you care more about, uncle, and, stepdad, than anyone else. Me, or maybe I just want to avoid any scenes. Mom, I just told you, that wasn't my fault.

Me, just like your DUI isn't your fault? Mom, how dare you bring up that difficult time in my life? I was going through a lot emotionally. What the hell is wrong with you kids? You need to mind your own business. If I want to drink, that's my business. Me, well my wedding is my business, we do not want alcohol there, that's final. I can't stop you if you decide to pregame my wedding, but I've already made it clear to,

uncles and brothers, that if you cause a scene, that you are to be made to leave. Mom, starts crying, why do you kids hate me so much? What did I ever do to deserve to be treated like this by my children? Me, are you really ready for me to go down that list? Mom, none of you understand, none of you will ever understand. I'm the mother of the bride, I should be treated better than this. Me, I think I've treated you pretty well during this process. I've acquiesced to your boyfriend whom I don't even know coming to my wedding,

I've even given in to some of your other demands, so please tell me how you've been mistreated. Mom, you didn't invite me to go dress shopping. The mother of the bride always goes dress shopping with her daughter. I barely know, fiancé, because you never bring him around me. How do I know that you're marrying the right person? Me, that's because, aunt, made my dress. Mom, sarcastically, well, isn't that just special? Me, sighing, as for the rest, I think you know why,

we aren't really close enough for you to have any say in whom my significant other is. Honestly, Mom, I'm done with this conversation. If you really feel that strongly about this, I'll understand if you don't want to attend my wedding. Mom, oh, I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? One way or another you will respect me as your mother. Me, sure, Mom, I'm hanging up now, bye. Guys, I'm so livid right now. I have half a mind to un-invite her.

I spoke to my dad and her brother. My uncle thinks her drinking is getting really bad again and has been wanting to hold an intervention. I told him I'm focused on the wedding right now, but that I definitely agree this was out of line and something needs to be done. What do I do? I don't want her ruining my wedding, but I'm so tired of dealing with this. Sorry this is probably above Reddit's pay grade, but I just needed to vent. Update, I sent a text reiterating the rules. She said she knows where she isn't welcome and said she won't attend. My dad told me not to worry about this anymore and that he'll see to it she doesn't ruin my wedding. Small update. I sent a little bit. I sent her to me.

this text to my mom. Mother, at this point I'm going to officially un-invite you for my wedding, I'm not going to allow you to change your mind and I'd prefer it if you not come to my wedding at all given your poor behavior. At this point, I've decided I don't want any further contact with you unless you decide to curb your toxic behaviors in drinking. I wish you the best. I hope you can find a way to heal but I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry if this hurts you but I can't handle you in my life anymore. If you try to force the issue, I'll be forced to take legal action up to and including contacting law enforcement. Please don't contact me again.

I went to delete her from my Facebook page only to find a post that she had just written saying how being a mother is a thankless job and how she doesn't understand how she raised rude and judgmental kids. She ended it by saying she hopes her kids get over themselves someday. I'm done, this sucks, but it's been a long time coming.

My head hurts. Small update two. Firstly, I want to thank everyone for the support. You have no idea how much your love and constructive comments mean to me, I'm glad I'm not alone. It's not a huge update, but I guess my grandparents and uncles have had enough. They've decided to stage an intervention next weekend. If she refuses to get help, she will no longer be welcomed at family events and she will no longer be part of the family. They told me not to worry about it. My sister will go as she's the only one of her children that even

has a real relationship with her, but even my sister said that if she doesn't get help, she will cut her off too. I'm hoping and praying this works, but given that she spent one year in rehab and the second she was off probation chose to drink again doesn't give me a lot of hope. My dad told me he's hiring the local biker gang to act as security. We live in a small town and the nearest big city is about an hour away so it would really expensive to have a security company come out. I don't have a problem with that. This is the type of gang that helps out abused kids and animals and they do a lot of good where I live. The worst I've heard about them is they doled out some rural justice to a guy that was beating up the sister of one of the members and ran him out of town. When my mom got her DUI,

she ran into someone's house and car, when she tried to back out, no one was hurt, thank goodness. And I guess it was the house of a relation of someone in the gang so they agreed to help and my dad is paying them to be security just in case. They know my family, one of my dad's cousins is a member, and they know my mom, I think she dated a guy in the gang at one point, and what to look out for, it may be moot if she ends up in rehab. I'm not stressing about her anymore. I have 13 days until my wedding, I'm going to focus on the final touches and just enjoy myself. My biological mom made her choices. Now that I've stood up for myself, I feel nothing but relief. My stepmom will be there and I see her more as my real mom so it's all fine. I've been through a lot of therapy

already so I've had to make peace with how my actual mother is. Update 5. I'm officially estranged from my mother. Well, it happened yesterday. I got into a fight with my mother and officially estranged myself from her. It sucks and I had a gnarly headache when I was done. Her drinking and behavior just proved too much and I had to univite her for my wedding. I feel sad it came to this, but the most powerful feeling I have is relief. Update 6. My mother thinks she's entitled to alcohol at my wedding. I didn't think I'd be back so soon. But it's my mom's world and we all just live in it. My mother got 911 called on her for domestic violence on Tuesday. She apparently started throwing wine bottles at her boyfriend who locked himself in the bathroom and called the

cops while she destroyed their place in one of her temper tantrums. She wasn't making any sense when the cops got there so they restrained her and took her to a hospital. She's been stuck in the psychiatric ward ever since. My sister was listed as a contact for her and she got the call about mom on Wednesday. The doctors at the hospital spoke to my sister and they think she may be showing signs of alcohol-related dementia and some sort of psychotic disorder like bipolar disorder. They currently have her an alcohol detox and from what my sister was told, it's pretty bad, they won't allow her visitors until she's out of detox, not that anyone really has a desire to visit her anymore. My sister and I decided enough was enough and we've petitioned a

guardianship for her yesterday at the request of a social worker who interviewed my sister, my uncles, my grandparents, and myself, a guardianship means they can hold her while it winds through the system rather than her being released after 72 hours. My grandmother's upset as she thinks all of the issues should be kept in the family and the state shouldn't step in. My uncles and grandfather are on the side of having a guardianship. As far as they're concerned, she's not welcome in the family anymore and they won't allow her to continue to take advantage of anyone in the family anymore. My sister and I say let her be a professional's problem and let them figure out what to do with her. My brothers don't care and have effectively washed their hands of her years ago so their stance is

whatever keeps her as far away as humanly possible. We can't deal with her anymore and why should we? With the guardianship petitioned, I'm working on washing my hands of this situation entirely. I'm sure I'll be interviewed about why a guardianship is necessary but other than that, I don't plan to have any further contact with my mom unless she apologizes and makes amends for her behavior, if that's something she's even capable of anymore. I just don't see that happening in any compassion or understanding I had for her in the past is gone. Whatever state her life is in, she brought it on herself. I just want to move on with my life without her in it and be done with her for good.

It doesn't look like she'll be released from the hospital anytime soon so there's no risk of her attending my wedding. I did talk to her boyfriend yesterday after Sister and I filed our paperwork and we decided to invite him to lunch. He's decided to break up with her for good and we learned just how bad things were with her. He's a real nice guy who's been caught up in a bad situation and had no clue how bad she could be. I feel really bad for him. I did decide to invite him to my wedding as I can tell he's a lonely dude who's been to hell and back, not sure he'll show but the offer is there. There was a time I'd have allowed an event like this to ruin the run up to the wedding but I'd been able to separate my mom. behavior from the wedding, it hasn't put a damper on it. Now that my mom is squared away,

I can enjoy myself. I just put the final touches on the catering order and I'm expecting the last of my supplies. My aunt wants to put the final touches on my wedding attire, if I haven't mentioned, both fiancé and I are huge steampunk fans and so we're wearing steampunk attire and encouraging everyone else to dress in steampunk, not required, though, my wedding dress is actually more of a suit situation but it looks badass. I don't think I'll update a again as I want to put all of this behind me and I don't plan to have any contact with my mother going forward. I'm looking forward to a bright future with my husband. My mom can stay in the past and as cold and heartless as it sounds. I'm glad she's not going to be my family's problem anymore. Update 7.

Post wedding. I just signed into this account again with a lot of people begging for updates. I don't have a lot. I guess my entire story is now in the best of Reddit. Thanks, I guess. I never knew dealing with my alcoholic mother was worthy of a best of post. I just wanted to rant insanity check myself. Only news on my mother is she's out of detox and currently in a catatonic state refusing to speak, eat, or drink water. They may install a feeding tube if she doesn't let up. I think she's trying to be dramatic and get attention. So do my uncles, I could be wrong, but honestly I don't care anymore. We're not sure she has dementia, but she definitely has something going on but doing any kind of evaluation while she acts like this is difficult,

She also has liver disease, needs dialysis, and possibly even a transplant. If she qualifies, the doctors made it very clear if she doesn't quit drinking. She will die within the next five years and it may even still be too late. I think I'd feel more sad but I've had to realize that I lost my mother long ago. I did invite my mom's boyfriend but he chose not to come. He's decided to get help for his own alcohol issues, according my sister. I wish him the best. As for the wedding. I'm now happily married and on Wednesday I took a pregnancy test that came back positive. We're super excited but haven't told anyone in our family yet. The wedding was fantastic and the day went off without a hitch. We had a blast and are heading out on our honeymoon on Wednesday to Costa Rica.

My brothers and stepbrothers very sweetly hazed my husband during the at-home bachelor party and made it clear they're excited to have another brother. My stepmom did all of the mom's stuff during the wedding that was already planned before all of this. No one snuck in alcohol. There weren't any scenes. The worst that happened was my sister crying due to all of the stress she's been under. I do have some sympathy but most of it is self-inflicted, though because she enables, but all in all, it was a great day and I was surrounded by those I love most. I know a lot of people asked for picks on my wedding suit. I will see if there's some way I can crop identifying stuff from it and post it here once I get my wedding pictures back. Otherwise, I'll figure out a way to post the

outfits themselves. That's all I have. I'll try and update after my honeymoon. Now it seems like baby is coming so no promises.