Reddit Stories - BETRAYAL in the Shadows_ UNCOVERING INFIDELITY Amidst a Decade of Devotion and Cancer Recovery_

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayal #infidelity #devotion #cancerrecovery #relationships Summary:In the shadows of a decade of devotion and cancer recovery, a tale of betrayal and infidelity unfolds. Dive into the complexities of relationships tested by secrecy and deception.Tags:redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, betrayal, infidelity, devotion, cancer recovery, relationships, secrets, deception, trust, marriage, love, heartbreak, loyalty, honesty, forgiveness, communicationBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Following a decade of companionship, I discovered my spouse being unfaithful during my recuperation from a medical procedure for cancer. However, she refuses to acknowledge any wrongdoing or engage in conversation about it. It appears that now it is my opportunity to address the situation. To share heartbreaking story happened to me recently.

Please apologize me for grammar. I am not a native speaker by any means, however I'll try my best. The marriage, we were a great family with two lovely kids for a ten wonderful years. As any marriage on the planet we had our ups and downs. We went through thick and thin like lack of money, no vacations for a long time, we worked a lot, but still we loved and valued each other and were a good friends to each other. We had plans, we had dreams, we wanted to get old together.

We are now have a great, well-paid jobs, we can have a good, everything we want, we can go everywhere we want, all those bad times and lack of something is far behind. I loved my beautiful wife so much, I appreciated every moment we spent together, any memory, any kiss, hug, her smile, the way she looked at me. I've been thankful to God for giving me such a great person by my side. I believe she loved me too until something has broken. Our kids is the best that ever happened to our family. I love them more than anything. My wife loves them more than anything and they know it. They feel that they have best parents in a whole universe. The story, back in February 2022 the full-scale war started in our country.

We were scared, we were stressed, our city was under constant missile attacks and we took a quick decision to move into western part of the country for our safety. Few weeks later the situation started to escalate and my wife's good friend, female, told us that there is an apartment waiting for them in Europe, so they can stay there and wait until this over. We didn't have much time to think under such extreme circumstances, so I bought a ticket for a bus, put my wife, kids and mother-in-law there and they fled to Europe. Unfortunately, men in our country are not allowed to cross the borders due to martial law, so I had to stay in home country.

Month later I returned back to my city, where my parents stay, they refused to leave their house and told us to save the kids no matter what back in those hot days. I felt tired all the time, I felt dizzy, exhausted. I visited doctors many time and all they say that this is war, everybody tired, everybody exhausted, you work so much, your family is far away, so you miss them and feel stressed. Here, take these pills, try to relax and live your life. They were right to some extent until that scary day in August 2022 when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. It was found by accident, during another visit to another doctor.

I was devastated, I was depressed, everything stopped, I've reached the bottom, the darkness, the emptiness. I cried a lot, cried few times in my life, my wife cried with me, everybody was shocked, and confused. Anyway, thanks to my wife and support of my family circle I've found some inner strength and started to prepare for surgery. Thyroid cancer in my particular case required the removal of all sections of thyroid gland. The treatment in my case was successful, but I have to change my lifestyle to the core. Less stress, more rest and healthy stuff. The first few months after the surgery in late August 2022 were pretty tough. First it was a wound on my neck that hurts as hell and I barely can eat or swallow. Second it was my depression that had been

waiting for me around the corner. The enormous hormones level and overall loneliness made me feel depressed and vulnerable. I've started to lose ground, I've been missing my wife and my kids even more. You may ask, did they have a possibility to visit you? Yes, they did. And my wife came to me in September 2022 for a few weeks to take care of me. Once she left I felt completely broken, like this is my life now. The war, the distance between us, how long I should take those punches. Eventually, I put my crap together and went to therapy. It was tough at the beginning but now I started to return back to my previous life.

Still, there is so much things to work on, but I smile again and even can see my future with my beautiful family. But in December 2020 it all started to fall apart. My family currently lives in some sort of social apartment with other refugees from our country, mostly women and kids. She knows most of them very well because all of them came from her home city and most of them are connected with the same people who invited my wife. So fast forward, when the winter came my wife started to become distant and cold. She became close with most off young women at that place and they started to partying here and there, bars, cafes, restaurants. I know that she doesn't get along very well with her mother,

they often have fights about every tiny thing. Her mother also didn't like her parties. Sometimes she was very abusive and controlling saying that she must stay at home with her kids, and even though she was right to some extent I didn't want to keep my wife inside the cage, and I've always tried to protect her against her mom. She is very emotional person and I thought that her mental state is related to the atmosphere in their house and that's why she needed hangout sometimes. In the meantime I had a feeling that my wife stopped to care about me anymore.

She asked how I feel less and less, she rarely told me back that she loves me. When I lost my patience I started to ask pretty direct questions like, is everything okay between us? Do you still care for me? Do you miss me? The answers were always positive, of course, I miss you, I care for you, everything is fine, I'm just tired. In the same time she told me that I became an alarmist, that she's too tired and can't give me and her mother what we want from her. But all I've been asking is her attention as she had so many excuses why she can't provide it.

I was scared, this is not my wife anymore. I felt guilty all the time because I became alarmist and contribute to overall pressure that my wife is. experiencing. So I stepped down. The affair, few months later my oncologist told me that I have a chance to make a document which may allow me to cross the border. This is it. My exact thoughts. I can finally visit my family, I can kiss my wife, I can hug my kids, I can take them to the sea coast, I can everything. The closer to my documents readiness the more distant my wife became. No matter what I've asked, it was always fine and I have nothing to worry about. And finally in May 2023 I am here.

My kids are crying and smiling, they are happy as well as my wife, but something is not there. She didn't even cook any dinner, just a bunch of dirty dishes and mess around the house. Our first night and no sags. Like what the F, you didn't see me for almost a year, those three weeks in September 2020 doesn't count, and you don't want any intimacy.

I've tried to initiate something but she felt tired and wanted to sleep. One week passed and we hardly had one time. No kisses, no holding hands, no hugs. I've sat with her and started a conversation if everything is fine between you and me. And you guess what? Everything is fine, honey, I just waited for so long that I am not so segs addicted anymore. But it's not about you, we are good, I'm just tired and I also need some. space. My suspicion started to grow exponentially. Yes, we had tough times in our marriage when we

were so tired that we had SEGS a few times in a month, but FFS the year in space. A few days later I noticed some stranger's message on her phone, but I didn't saw a context as the screen was locked. She told me then that this is one of her new bosses. I was a bit worried and the next day found that this new boss liked her photos and social media. I immediately started another conversation about her feelings and who is that guy. And she told me that she doesn't know what she feels for me, and that guy is just a friend. I was ruined, but tried to stay calm. I understand we've been separated by distance for some time, I agree that it was hard for both of us, so I decided to give her some time and space even though I wasn't a fan of that decision. So, I've been nervous

all the time but as I mentioned I decided to take my family to the sea coast and try to relax. We spent a great week together, we talked so much, we drank so much, we had segs, we kissed, everything was fine. And finally, the regular night with the girls. I wanted to sleep but I can't. I opened that post page and here we are, he is checked in at the same place where my wife and other girls was partying. I approached her laptop, we don't have a seat, and we don't have a secrets, so I had touch ID in there, opened a few messengers and found bears, digital flirting, texting, I love you, I miss us, with another guy from that so-called boss company. I felt down, my heart was broken. I ran away from that home and met her in the night, she saw

my eyes, she understand that I know. It was hard, I was hurt. Yes, she confessed, but only after I caught her. She thought she deleted everything. I spent a few more weeks with my kids and her, I was so shocked that I tried to put all the blame on me, I was looking for some reasonable explanations. We slept in one bed, we had SEGs all that time and I tried to get her back. But she was stone cold. Their affair was a few months long, so while I was getting all documents she started new life behind my back. After I came back to my home country I've started to analyze the situation, I tried to have a conversation with her, but she just asked for more time to figure it out.

I suggested to go to marriage counseling twice, but she just ignored that like I never said it. It was her choice, it was her decision to ruin everything. I lost her forever, I lost myself. She betrayed me while I was battling cancer and needed her the most. I am devastated, I am ruined, I feel unworthy, miserable human being. She tried to put a blame on me for her adultery, but instead I confront her. her and told her to shut up. Why on earth you never talked to me about your feelings? I never

saw that coming. I've been thinking that we are finally happy and can relax after chasing our dreams for so many years. If she ever told me that she is unhappy I would have fixed everything or at least try to fix it, and she was dead silent. I believe things like this never happens within one day, I just don't get why she never openly communicated her feelings and needs to me. Last summer I've got a paper letter from her where she expressed how she loves me and miss me and that she counts the days when we can be together. I am going through our text messages every night and I swear I can't believe it was all her lies. I am trying hard to start a healing process now, but seeing her every time I see these disgusting texts between her and him. These photos she never sent me, these love words she told him in me every single day of her affair.

I can't believe how someone who promised me to go through all this nightmare together six month ago can betray you so hard. She won't even try to talk about reasons of why and how it happened. She is not remorseful. I only talk to my brilliant kids and thinking about filing a divorce soon. I just so afraid that they may think that Daddy betrayed them and ruined our family. I am not looking for any advices. I don't know why I am here.

I am completely lost and just cried my eyes out. Her betrayal hurts as hell as well as thoughts about my cancer which may return if I'll surrender. Thanks for reading till the very end, I am trying to stay strong for myself and my kids and not let the cancer beat me again. Edit, get evidence and tell a kid-friendly version of why you are divorcing. You got a second chance at life, don't waste it by not living your life to the fullest. Be there for your kids and start the healing process. Thanks. Unfortunately my lawyer told me that even though I could have collected evidences like screenshots

of their texts the courts in our country never ever consider them when taking a decision. And that night I was literally paralyzed, so I just put the laptop aside and ran away with the pictures tattooed in my mind. I understand that I'm losing so much more than my wife, but I just can't realize how I can continue to live together after such a betrayal. File for the divorce. But where will you live? Where will the kids live? What if she alienated the kids from you in the process? I am not sure whether she has any plans to return, most probably they'll stay in Europe for a few more years.

All I know for sure is that wherever they live I am ready to visit my kids and even take them home for summer holidays. That is the best I can do and this also breaks my heart each second I think about it. Why don't you move to Europe so you have access to your kids all the time? Let divorce happen, but move there. I worry with the distance she will also try to replace you as their father as well. So move there. That way custody will be 50 to 50. Don't give up your children.

Time will tell. If they stay, I'll consider a relocation for sure. As for replacement, this is just a matter of time and there is nothing I can do here. unfortunately. I mentioned in my story that she so easily found some random pause, so sooner or later she will introduce a new daddy and these thoughts are so traumatic for me but I should focus on healing myself and on staying in contact with my kids. Can the children stay in contact with you without her interference? Are they old enough to own phones? I really hope things work in your favor and that you don't lose your children too. Definitely worried for you. Yeah, my seven years

old son calls me every day via face time before he wake up to school and get sleep. The way he tells me how he loves me and miss me tear my heart apart for tiny pieces every single time. Whatever the outcome, he is a smart kid and I believe that someday he will understand me and forgive and so is his little sister, my tiny precious which I love with all my heart. Anyway, I'll be the best dad till my last breath. Thank you for your kind words, I guess I need all support in the world now. Update 1. Let me be clear about myself. I am not a perfect husband and partner by any means, like no one. I am not saint either, we all sinners to some extent. But I truly loved my wife, I choose her over dozen of women every single day, I only dreamt about getting

old with her by my side. I cherished every single moment staying with her, I told her about my love every single day and these words were my sincere feelings I never doubt about. I wasn't abusive, I wasn't controlling, sometimes I was rude, but I have feelings in bad days too. I always apologized first, I always tried to protect her, I just wanted to make this woman a happiest person in the world. I love my kids, I wanted these kids, this was my perfect family, my safe place, my own universe. No one is perfect, as so is my wife, but I fully trusted her and never saw any red flags which may signal about cheating. from her side. She is not good at communicating about her feelings and I guess this is where it came from. Did I miss something by myself? Probably yes, I was so depressed because of my diagnosis,

that she may feel neglected even though I try to communicate the best I can. This is how I reacted, this is how I maintain disease. Still, I believe if you love your spouse you'll never leave him slasher in the darkest hour no matter what you're going through right now. This is our crap and we made vows to each other that we will support each other till death tear us apart. Was I tempted to fell in love with other women within these ten years? Never, she is my son in my sky. There were a few women who tried to seduce me, who tried to step closer, but I have my own moral compass, my principles, my walls around my safe place. My dad cheated on my mom many years to come, and they divorced when I was a small kid.

Once I grew up I found how hard it was for my mother to move on after the betrayal. I promised myself that I will never ever cheat on or hurt the person I love. Update 2, we are living in a different country's now due to war and I have calls with my beautiful kids daily. What bothering the most is that how my wife acts like nothing has happened. It is three months past since I discovered her affair with some random guy and we still didn't have any conversation on what the hell is going on. She talks to me like we are good friends, she complains about some random stuff I don't really care, she shares a photos of our kids to both grandmas, they still don't know, she talks about her upcoming vacation with kids. I shared my plans to be at my son's birthday and she asked me if I'm going to celebrate a new year with them because she was thinking that I will. I feel so awkward and disrespected.

It's like her affair means nothing for her and my feelings means nothing. I've been sleeping for a few hours every night since the D-Day and she asked me why I feel so tired. She is like an alien, like some other person I don't know and it hurts like hell. She looks happy without me, like I was some dead weight. I feel like crap and can't move on no matter what I've tried. Edit, was her AP staying at the hotel where your wife and her friends were? Or was that her boss you were concerned about? Don't know anything about her AP except his social media profile.

She refuses to talk about that man and how slash where they met. One month ago I found out that she followed back her AP on Instagram, and confronted her again telling that I've made a decision and filing for divorce. She tried to convince me that she's been following him all that time and that social media means nothing. I am not agreeing on this, especially when you follow the guy who effed you for a few months. Anyway, she didn't make any single attempt to talk to me since D-Day. I may not be good at understanding the cheater's psychology, but from my point of view when you hear that your SO is talking about divorce and you are remorseful, then you should pick up your cowardly crap and try to fix everything at least by start talking. Update 3. I must admit that I was fooled and manipulated and as some of you commented in my previous post the affair still goes on. Long story short, my son called me yesterday and while we've been talking my two years old

daughter came into his room showing that her diaper is full. I asked my son to call mom to change the diaper and he told me that she's out and will be at home in two hours. My first thought was that she just went to her AP and I've sent her a message that her little sweetheart might be crap in her pants. She read my message but didn't reply, but once she came home I called her and confronted about situation. She lied to me that the affair is over all the time.

She didn't say a word while I was talking to her. She just told me that she doesn't want to have this conversation now and that she is not obligated to explain this situation to me. My God, she left two small kids at home to F around with that guy. How could this be the woman I married ten years ago? So my initial plan has changed and I am going full and see except my kids. I don't need that closure conversation anymore. I am finally going to tell about her affair to our families and friends.

I don't want to play those mind-effery games and being manipulated. If she doesn't respect me and my feelings, then I shouldn't respect and protect her. I am here in Europe again, drove 2,500 kilometers to spend Christmas with my kids, celebrate my son's birthday and discuss our inevitable divorce. I've been thinking about the final conversation for a long time since there is not any signs of her being prepared to file for divorce. I must admit it was much harder than I expected, we both cried a lot. She is still with the AP, it's been nearly nine months since they started to see each other. She can't and won't explain anything. I've been simply erased from her life and replaced with another man.

I am so disappointed that she can't admit it was a betrayal and still trying to manipulate my feelings saying that I understand the situation in a wrong way. My wife blames me that I've become after my diagnosis, and I was, since I've experienced a deep depression and needed support, and she felt unwanted and unneeded for too long. On the other hand, she told me that I am the best person she ever had in my life. Some time ago she even admitted that AP can't match me in every single role. Unfortunately, the saddest outcome of her affair is that I don't trust her anymore and don't believe all those tears and lies. So, I've finally made a hardest step in my life and tell her that it's officially over.

It hurts, it sucks, but this chapter of my life must be closed. My feelings to her are slowly fading day by day. My priorities for now are self-love, my health, and my kids who I'll be missing every single day while long-distance tear us apart. I can't hate her or wish her to be miserable for the rest of her life. Instead, I would like to reach indifference and simply don't care about her anymore. She's just a stranger for me now and I am letting her go. Thanks everyone for reading this and my previous posts.

Thank you for all of your advice is and support. One more soul is ready to start healing. No one knows what the future holds but I am sure it is much brighter without a liar by my side. Edit, I postponed all talks with grandparents till today to have at least a tiny chance for some closure. Now I feel free to some extent and once I come back home I'm. I am going to have a serious conversation with everyone. Me and my soon-to-be ex-wife had a conversation about me visiting kids, and she promised me I can take them for summer,

which is a great opportunity for me and my parents to see kids.