Reddit Stories - BETRAYED_ Blamed for BEDROOM DISSATISFACTION as Spouse's Affair Unfolds_

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #marriage #betrayal #infidelity #dissatisfactionSummary: A Reddit user is unfairly blamed for their spouse's affair due to bedroom dissatisfaction. The user seeks advice on whether they are in the wrong for feeling betrayed and how to handle the situation.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, marriage, betrayal, infidelity, dissatisfaction, spouse, affair, blame, advice, wrong, feelings, handle, situationBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

Spouse had an affair with a colleague and pointed fingers at me for not being satisfying in the bedroom as I was still mourning the recent loss of my parents in a tragic vehicle crash. Wife Gigi and I have been together for the past four years. Our relationship has been pretty much perfect, or so I thought. We share similar interests like playing video games and going camping whenever we get a chance. We both have good paying jobs and we both never want kids. Gigi is extremely independent, which is the primary reason why I fell in love with her in the first place. We dated for ten months before we moved and together. Gigi and I have talked to each other about our past, and she knows that I strongly dislike people who cheat.

She expressed the same sentiment also and told me how her ex-boyfriend broke her heart when she found him cheating with one of his exes. I was glad that we were on the same page regarding this. I like being loyal and available to my partner, and Gigi was the same way in the beginning. However, after we got engaged, something changed in her. One day while we were drinking, she broached the subject of whether we could get one free pass in our relationship. At first I didn't understand what she was talking about, but then she went on to explain how a free pass is basically when you are allowed to sleep with a celebrity or someone whom you find extremely attractive, and your partner won't consider it as cheating. She asked me if I would ever consider having a free pass in our relationship. I laughed and shook my head as this thought had never even crossed my mind.

I told her a free pass is nothing but cheating, and if she ever wanted a free pass, then I would rather prefer that she left me. Hearing this, Gigi went quiet and we continued to drink. I didn't think much of this after that day, however, I think this was the first red flag in our relationship. months later, Gigi approached me saying how she had a colleague who was extremely attractive and had been incessantly asking her out for quite some time, and one day during their office party. She had given in and kissed him just to shut him up.

She told me that she had felt extremely guilty about it and wanted to tell me, but her friends had dissuaded her from telling me the truth since they thought that I would not understand. My first thought was that what this guy did was basically coerce her, so I told her that she needed to immediately report him and that she could file an HR complaint against him because this is a really serious issue. However, Gigi tried to brush it off, saying that it wasn't a big deal, which made me a bit suspicious. I asked her why she did even tell me this if she thought it wasn't a big deal to begin with. Gigi told me how she thought she wanted me to spring into action and perhaps take matters into my own hands by confronting the guy, just like all her exes have done,

and that she found it unattractive to see that I wanted her to go to HR instead. She then grumbled that I didn't love her enough and how she would have confronted the woman if I had ever kissed someone else. At this point, I could not fathom why Gigi was twisting the situation like this. It felt like I was being manipulated into a scenario that made no sense. How could she expect me to react the same way as her exes? It was as if she couldn't handle the idea of me handling the situation in a rational and responsible manner. Her insistence on making it a test of my love for her left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I told her firmly that if she didn't report this to HR, then I would assume that she had kissed the guy out of her own free will and not because she was coerced to do so, which means it was cheating, and I could not marry someone like that. Hearing this, Gigi's expression shifted from frustration to disbelief. She asked me if I was serious, and I nodded, reiterating that I couldn't handle cheating. We did argue for a bit where she kept saying how everyone would look at her differently if she complained against the guy and outed him, but I didn't care, and I reminded her that she should not care either if what she had told me was true. In the end, she reported to HR, and apparently it was a big deal,

just as anyone would expect. They ended up firing the guy and assured Gigi that she did the right thing. I was glad that Gigi stood up for herself. However, a week later, I received a message from a stranger. He claimed that he was the guy who Gigi had kissed. In his message, he had written how Gigi had kissed him out of her own consent and that he never did anything wrong. He alleged that Gigi apparently never wore the engagement ring in the office, so he had no idea that she was even engaged, nor did her friends ever bring it up, which is why he had thought it right to pursue her. He told me that he wanted nothing from me but to just inform me of the truth and apologize for kissing my girlfriend. Obviously, I never replied back to his message because

this guy had been fired anyway, and at that time, I believed Gigi over him. Two months later, Gigi and I got married at our dream venue. It was a beautiful ceremony, and we took our vows in front of our parents and the rest of our families. The start of our marital life was pure bliss. Everything was going smoothly until I discovered something incriminating in her laptop. One day while she was out grocery shopping, my laptop was getting charged upstairs, so I opened her laptop to check our flight details since our trip was in Safari, under Frequently Visited, I saw a Reddit account page that got me curious, and I clicked on it without thinking much. This is how I discovered that Gigi had this Reddit account, which she had never told me about, where she would exchange

inappropriate pictures with a random stranger. I went through the pictures, and in all her pictures, she had cropped out her face, and he had done the same. Their messages were not lovy-dovey either and were purely sexual, but what struck me was how she had shamelessly discussed our sex life with this complete stranger. I was at a loss for words. When she came back, I confronted her, and she went pale as a sheet when she realized that I had found her account. I asked her to explain herself because I was so disgusted by the pictures.

She hesitated for a moment, her eyes darting nervously, before finally meeting mine, and then slowly, hesitantly, she began to speak. She confessed to finding it exciting to send her pictures to a stranger and to engage in conversations with him that she knew were forbidden. She told me how it was basically like porn and that it meant nothing to her. She tried to justify, saying how she had never confessed any love for him and that sending pictures with her face cropped out wasn't a big deal because he would never find out who she actually is. I struggled to comprehend her reasoning, to understand what would make her behave this way. I asked her why would she even need to do this,

if it was because she wasn't satisfied in our marriage. But Gigi shook her head vehemently, her eyes pleading for understanding as she tried to argue that it wasn't like that and that this was just a stupid thing that meant nothing to her. She kept saying that she loved me and pleaded with me to let this go as this is nothing more than an embarrassing incident and promised me that she would delete the Reddit account immediately. I wanted to scream, to lash out in fury and frustration, but instead, I remained silent as I tried to process this new information. There was nothing left to say, no words that could undo the damage that had been done. I have to admit that after this, our sex life did suffer because I felt so betrayed and hurt.

I struggled to find the desire to be close to her, to let down my guard and allow myself to be vulnerable again. The thought of being intimate with her filled me with a sense of dread. Gigi sensed my hesitation, my reluctance to bridge the divide that had grown between us. She tried to reach out, to mend what was broken, but her efforts were not enough. Every time I looked at her, I could picture her messages with the guy in my head, and it really did not help. Just a week after this, I received even worse news. While I was at the office one morning, my parents had met with a car accident and were critically

injured. I could not believe it, and it was as if the ground had suddenly disappeared beneath my feet, leaving me suspended in a void of shock and despair. I raced to the hospital to check on my parents as fast as I could. I was informed by the doctors that they were on life support because their organs were failing. The doctors told me honestly that the chance of them surviving this was less than 50%. I remember just sitting in the waiting room for hours on end, hoping that they would miraculously wake up. Gigi did come and sit by my side in silence, holding my hand. I kept praying fervently for a miracle, for some sign of improvement, but my parents' condition never improved. My mother was the first one to go, and she was quickly followed by my father.

The only thing that reassured me was that even in their death, they could be together. I collapsed on the ground, just crying until my tears ran dry. My heart was shattered into a million irreparable pieces, and I did not know how to go on living after this. The funeral was really difficult for me because I just didn't know how to maintain my composure in front of others. I have to admit that during this time, Gigi took care of everything. She allowed me to mourn over the loss of my parents while she made all the arrangements. In the aftermath of their funeral, I withdrew into myself, cocooned in a shell of numbness, unable to articulate the magnitude of my pain. I found myself trapped in a suffocating embrace of grief and depression. I did not have the

energy to even complete simple tasks and would lie in bed the whole day morning my parents and my childhood. My parents had been my rock, and losing them felt like I had lost a piece of myself too. I did meet up with my parents' lawyers, who told me that my parents had left behind everything that they owned to me, which was not surprising honestly, but what did surprise me was that the collective asset amounted to $2 million. I was shocked, but then it made me even sadder, realizing that my parents had worked hard their entire lives, yet they didn't live long enough to enjoy it. I never told Gigi or any of my family about my inheritance because I didn't even have the right state of mind at that time to think about the money. However, I did decide to

take a long leave of absence from my company, now that I didn't really have to worry about money, and since I had been a loyal employee for a long time, my boss graciously agreed to give me the break I needed to grieve my parents. However, just two weeks after my parents had passed away, Gigi approached me one evening and told me that she wanted to talk to me about something really important. We sat down in the living room where she started to tell me that she had enough of seeing me mope around and that I needed to get my ass up and go to therapy.

Gigi told me that my behavior wasn't normal and that nobody mourns so much over the loss of their parents. She asked me to man up and stop crying. I was shocked by how cruel her words were, so I tried to reason with her how my grief was not a choice and that grieving for my dead parents for a month is perfectly normal for any human being. I reminded her how she had grieved for her childhood dog for months on end, and I had never questioned her, so she had no right to behave with me this way. She was pissed and grumbled about how unattractive it was to watch me cry. There was more back and forth, but eventually she let it go,

So I thought this would be the end of it. Recently, my cousin Joseph messaged me asking if I was doing well. Joseph and I have been pretty close growing up, so it wasn't unusual for him to check up on me. However, he then went on to ask if my wife and I were currently separated. I was confused by his question, and I replied back that my wife and I were still together. I didn't think much of his inquiry at the time, chalking it up to curiosity or maybe even concern, But he then called me immediately. So I picked up his call.

Joseph went on to tell me that he had just spotted my wife coming out of a hotel with a man and that the man and my wife had hugged each other tightly before walking away in opposite directions. He told me that the way they hugged each other was not like the way friends do, which is why he had questioned me as to whether me and Gigi were still together. I reiterated again that she and I were very much together, and I assured him that when she came back home, I would ask her about it. However, my cousin, being the more paranoid one, dissuaded me from asking her. He told me that it was better for me to go through her phone and check if she was cheating

on me because, according to him, if she was already sleeping with this guy, there was a chance that she wouldn't even accept it. I hate to admit it, but his words did make sense since Gigi did kiss a coworker and had even shared inappropriate pictures with a complete stranger, so I thought it was better for me to investigate a bit before confronting her, and that is exactly what I did. I went through her laptop and her phone, but I found nothing. There were no inappropriate messages or calls to anyone. I was starting to doubt my cousin and thought maybe he had mistaken someone else for Gigi.

However, that weekend, while me and Gigi were sitting on the sofa watching TV, I heard a phone vibrate. I looked around and noticed that neither my phone nor her phone had received any notifications. Gigi must have seen me looking around because she suddenly excused herself to go to the washroom. I racked my head in confusion as I was positively sure that I had heard a phone vibrate, and this is when it struck me that maybe Gigi had another phone. When she came out of the washroom, I noticed a phone-shaped bulge in the side pocket of her sweatpants, which pretty much proved my suspicion. The fact that my wife had bought another phone and had not even informed me was suspicious to begin with, but now that I knew she had received a message and rushed to the

washroom, I had even more reasons to believe that she was, in fact, cheating on me. However, like last time, I didn't want to just confront her. This time, I wanted to catch her in the act and confront the guy so I could find out his side of the story as well. I talked with my cousin, who immediately agreed with my plan. He told me about the hotel where she had met with this guy, so throughout the week, I waited around the hotel patiently to catch her in the act. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday passed, but she was not seen, so I assumed maybe she was meeting up with the guy at another hotel. On Thursday, things worked out in my favor. I saw my wife

entering the hotel during the afternoon, which was supposed to be her lunchtime, and immediately behind her was another guy who I felt like I had seen somewhere, but I just could not place him. I waited 15 minutes before entering after them. I informed the receptionist that I was waiting for a guest. He offered to call the room, but I chuckled and told him that it was not needed. Forty minutes later, I saw them exiting the elevator together, their faces flushed with excitement and anticipation. My heart sank as I watched them, knowing what I was about to confront. Summoning every ounce of courage I had left, I approached them, my hands trembling with anger and betrayal. My wife's eyes widened in shock as she saw me, and she stopped dead in her tracks.

Before she could utter a word, I held up my hand, silencing her protest. I didn't need to hear her excuses, I had seen enough. Turning to the man beside her, I asked him if he knew who I was. He nodded and told me that he had seen me at the office Christmas party last year and that I was apparently her ex-husband since she had told him that we were currently separated. I stared at him blankly as he went on to tell me that he would have never gotten involved with her in any way if he knew that she was still married. I asked him if he worked with Gigi, and he nodded, telling me that they were co-workers. Anger surged through me like wildfire as I realized that my wife had once again cheated on me with a

co-worker. Without a word, I turned on my heels and walked away, leaving them standing there in stunned silence. As I drove home, the weight of what I had witnessed settled over me like a suffocating blanket. My marriage was over, shattered beyond repair by the betrayal of the woman I had loved and trusted above all others. When I reached home, I began to pack my bags immediately. I was so pissed and heartbroken with everything going on in my life. Gigi had apparently driven after me, so she walked into the house huffing and puffing. She found me packing my bags upstairs and immediately confronted me. She told me that she had made a terrible mistake and begged me for forgiveness. She went on to say how lonely she had felt, and in her desperation, she had decided to

lie to this coworker about us getting a separation since she didn't want to be known as the cheating wife around her office. She told me that she had wanted to come clean to me for a very long time but was afraid of my reaction. I yelled at her to get out of my face as I just could not bear to hear any more of her lies. I knew with certainty that had I not caught her red-handed that day, she would have continued to sleep with him. Gigi then changed her tactics and started telling me how I could not blame her entirely for everything and I needed to accept that this was my fault also. I stopped packing and looked at her because I could not believe the audacity she had to even suggest such a thing. She went on to tell me how I hadn't slept with her for months on

end after I found her messages on Reddit, and this had continued even after my parents passed away. I was so angry that I yelled at her that she had no right to blame me for her betrayal and that her actions were a choice she made regardless of the circumstances. I couldn't believe she was trying to shift the blame onto me as if my grief and pain was somehow responsible for her infidelity. But Gigi persisted, her words cutting through the air like a knife. She accused me of neglecting her and of failing to fulfill my duties as a husband. She told me that I had become too boring while grieving my parents' death and went on to suggest that instead of walking out of the marriage, I should instead understand her perspective. She even went on to demand that

we should think about opening up our marriage and that I was welcome to date other people if that was what I wanted. Hearing her words, I simply scoffed because I was so done with this woman. I packed my bag, and before leaving, I informed her that I would be sending her the divorce papers. Currently, I'm staying with my cousin, and Gigi has called me a million times. Her messages range from apologizing to blaming me for ruining everything. She keeps saying that I should see things from her perspective and forgive her since she was just lonely. So here I am, Reddit, wondering if I'm the a-hole here. Am I to be blamed for pushing my wife to cheat on me just because I was mourning? Update 1, wow, when I posted this, I thought this post would not even track.

But seeing 300 plus comments under my post has been mind-reeling. I didn't think my story was even that interesting, but watching you all fight in the comments has been entertaining. To all the people who are blaming me and saying I pushed my wife to cheat by not sleeping with her, well, I hope for your sake you never find yourself in a predicament like I did. I loved my wife and thought that she would never cheat on me, so when I saw her inappropriate messages with a random stranger, it did affect me emotionally and mentally. I could not just forget everything and sleep with her as if everything was normal.

Two weeks later, when my parents passed away, sleeping with my wife was the last thing on my mind. It's like some of you have never gone through grief because if you have, you will know that everyone reacts differently, and losing my parents has been so crushing throughout all this. If my wife can't stay loyal to me and would rather sleep with someone else, then this is no way my fault. Yes, I did feel a bit guilty initially,

but after talking to my cousins and reading some of the comments, I am convinced that this is 100% on my wife. She decided to sleep around because that was what she wanted. I have no regrets that I ended this marriage, and I have already talked to my divorce lawyer about everything, so we will be going forward with my decision. I have also had a conversation with my in-laws, Gigi's parents. They had no idea that she had cheated on me since she had conveniently left out that part

and just told them that I had walked away because I was still sad about my parents. I informed them about everything that had happened, and they were just as furious with Gigi as I was. They have since assured me that they trusted me to make the right decision. Update 2, it's been five months since my last update. Sorry I could not update earlier as I had been quite busy going through all the legal proceedings for my divorce. I'm here to finally share a happy update. Gigi and I are finally divorced.

That selfish woman tried to come after my assets during the divorce proceedings, but thankfully my lawyer was able to prove that she cheated on me, which allowed me to safeguard my assets, including the $2 million inheritance from my parents. Gigi, who had no idea previously that my parents had left me behind such a huge amount, tried to argue that she rightfully deserved half of it. However, the judge wasn't having it and refused her point blank. I have wasted no time in moving on with my life. Soon after I moved out, I met an amazing woman named Sarah on Bumble.

She is a single mother who is absolutely amazing and has a lovely son named Jerry. Sarah lost her husband a year ago. so she understands the pain of loss and grief that I've been going through. We have connected on a deep level, bonding over our shared experiences and our mutual desire to create a happy, loving home for our families. Sarah is extremely hardworking, and her resilience and strength inspire me every day. I also admire the way she single-handedly takes care of her son. Jerry is a wonderful boy, full of energy and curiosity, and it's been a joy getting to know him.

I am lucky and extremely grateful that both of them have accepted me into their lives. Meanwhile, I have moved out of my cousin's place and found a nice condo for myself. I've also returned back to my job since I like working there, and I don't want to sit around the house doing nothing. It has taken me some time to get used to living alone, but I have to admit that I don't hate it. Yes, it does get lonely sometimes, but I would rather be alone than be with a cheating partner. I've also been talking to a therapist so I can heal from my parents' death as well as my past with Gigi so I can work on building a better future.

I do miss my parents every day, and I hope that they are proud of me for walking away from a toxic marriage. I know my mother especially would have been furious with Gigi for cheating on me. Also, several of you had messaged me after my first update urging me to get an STD test, which I did, and thankfully the results came back negative. It was a relief to have that peace of mind, knowing that I hadn't been exposed to any additional risks due to Gigi's infidelity. Since the divorce and even during our divorce, Gigi has made several attempts to reach out to me, telling me how sorry she was.

I have made it very clear to her that I have forgiven her for her past mistakes since there's no point in holding on to the grudge anymore. However, she has also tried to initiate meeting me after the divorce, and I immediately shut her down, telling her firmly that I have no interest in rekindling our relationship. I've told her that it's time for both of us to move on. I hope she understands that and stops bothering me. Update 3. It's been three months since my last update, and since a lot of you keep asking me for an update, I wanted to let you know that just recently, I took the next step in our relationship and asked Sarah to marry me. To my delight, she said yes, and we're now planning our future together

as a family. I couldn't be more excited to embark on this new chapter of my life with Sarah and Jerry by my side. But this isn't the only update I have. Apparently, Gigi has been stalking me and Sarah on social media after our divorce, which I had no idea about because the very evening that Sarah posted our engagement pictures, Gigi tried to get in touch with me multiple times. I refused to pick up her call, so she then sent me several messages asking me if it was true and how Sarah was just a gold digger who didn't really love me. I blocked her because her messages pissed me off, and I didn't see any reason to stay in touch with her.

However, this woman then ended up sending me a long email where she wrote about how I had tricked her all this while and that I was to be blamed completely for destroying our marriage. She wrote about how she had loved me so much, but I had broken her heart by not trusting her enough. She blamed me for divorcing her without even trying to make things work out with her and begged me to not marry Sarah, who was apparently very wrong for me. She wrote how she could not believe that I was back on my feet and that Sarah was going to get a much happier version of me.

According to her, I was the one who got away. I felt exhausted reading her email since this woman sounded crazy, reiterating the same thing over and over again. I have blocked her on Gmail, so hopefully she doesn't create another email address just to bother me. Looking back on everything that happened, I realize now that I wasn't the one who got away. I was the one who escaped. I'm grateful that I could escape from a toxic relationship that was built on lies and betrayal, and now I'm finally free to live my life on my own terms with a partner who loves and respects me for who I am. With Sarah, I have found a love that is genuine, unconditional, and built on a foundation of trust and mutual respect. Together, we're building a future filled with love,

laughter and endless possibilities, and for that, I am truly grateful. To anyone out there who may be going through something similar, my advice is simple. Never settle for anything less than you deserve. Trust your instincts and never be afraid to walk away from a situation that no longer serves you. Life is too short to waste on people who don't appreciate you.