Reddit Stories - BETRAYED_ EXCLUDED from Meeting My Own Niece, Then CONFRONTED by Sibling_

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #betrayal #siblings #confrontation #relationshipsSummary: A Redditor shares how they were excluded from meeting their own niece by their sibling, who later confronted them about their reaction. The situation has caused tension and hurt feelings within the family, leading to a difficult and emotional confrontation.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familydrama, betrayal, siblings, confrontation, relationships, exclusion, hurtfeelings, familyissues, emotionalconfrontation, siblingrivalry, familybond, familysecrets, familybetrayal, familyconflict, familycommunicationBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

My sibling had a newborn but didn't include me. When I eventually met my niece, my sibling yelled at me for not keeping in touch despite my efforts. Multiple times. I, 34, F, have two younger sisters who I'll call Sally, 31 F, and B. 28 F. I've always thought we were pretty close, especially since we all became adults and got past that sibling rivalry phase. For some background, Be got married a few years. ago to this guy who's actually pretty decent compared to some of her previous boyfriends.

They'd been struggling with fertility issues for what felt like forever, and after multiple failed attempts, they finally went through IVF. It was a long, emotional journey for them, and by extension, for all of us watching them go through it, but they finally conceived. When be called to tell me she was pregnant, I was absolutely over the moon for her. I remember I remember crying happy tears because I know how desperately she wanted this baby and how hard the road had been. Looking back though, there's been a pattern I didn't fully piece together until now. Several times over the years I felt like I was purposely excluded from family events.

For example, when we graduated college, everyone else in the family got an invitation to the ceremony, my parents, Sally, aunts, uncles, cousins, but not me. When I casually mentioned it to Sally a few days before the event, I had just assumed my invitation got lost in the mail or something. She seemed surprised and said, Oh, I thought you knew about it. I called me immediately, and she said she didn't think I'd want to go because I was always so busy with work, I'm not any busier than anyone else in the family. She said it like it was no big deal, but I was honestly hurt.

Who wouldn't want to see their sister graduate? I ended up going anyway, but felt awkward about the whole thing since I clearly wasn't expected to be there. Then when our grandfather passed away a couple years back, there was apparently this big family get together at my aunt's house a few days after the funeral. I only found out about it when I saw the photos on Facebook, everyone was there except me. Again, when I asked why nobody told me, the excuse was they didn't think I'd want to attend, which is complete bullshit because who wouldn't want to be with family after losing a grandparent.

My grandfather and I were really close. He taught me how to fish when I was little and used to take me camping every summer. I was devastated when he died and finding out I was excluded from a gathering to honor him just added to the pain. I tried not to make a big deal out of these incidents because I don't like confrontation, and I've always been the peacekeeper and the family. I just swallowed my hurt feelings and chalked it up to miscommunication or whatever. My partner has told me multiple times that I let my family walk all over me, but I always defended them. Family is family, right? Fast forward to B's pregnancy. When she planned her baby shower,

she scheduled it on literally the only weekend I couldn't attend because of this work conference I'd committed to months before. She knew about this conflict because I'd mentioned it several times in our family group chat when I was stressing about preparing my presentation. Still, that's when she decided to have it. When I asked her about the date, she said it was the only time that worked for most people. I suggested the weekend before or after, but she said the venue wasn't available. It was at my parents' house, so I'm not sure what venue availability had to do with anything. I felt like shit about missing it, but what could I do? Cancel a work commitment I'd had for months? My sister knows I'm not the type to flake on professional obligations. Even though I was upset about

missing the shower, I still went all out with gifts. I dropped off this really nice hamper at my parents' house with all the baby stuff I'd been collecting. I even included this beautiful hand-knitted blanket my aunt, who passed away last year from cancer, had made for my son when I was pregnant with him six years ago. It was really special to me and hard to part with, but I wanted B. to have it for her baby because I thought it would be nice to keep it in the family. Throughout her pregnancy, B was pretty specific about her wishes for privacy after the birth. She mentioned multiple times to everyone that when the baby came, only our parents and her husband's parents would visit at the hospital. Then they wanted a full 24 hours at home with just them and

their dog to get the dog used to the baby before having any visitors. I thought these boundaries seemed totally reasonable. Having a baby is a huge life event, and she deserves space to adjust. I told her I completely understood and was fine with waiting to meet my niece or nephew. The pregnancy wasn't smooth sailing. B had high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, and some other complications I don't fully understand. Her doctor eventually decided she needed an early C-section. The day before it was scheduled, I texted her that even though I was working, my schedule was pretty light that week and I could be available if she needed anything, child care for the dog,

food delivery, whatever. I was so excited to meet my new niece or nephew, they had kept the gender a surprise, but I was also nervous for be given all the complications. So on the day of the birth, I'm at work trying to focus but constantly checking my phone for updates. Around 1 p.m. I get a Facebook video call from B. I quickly ducked into an empty conference room to take it. She and my dad are on the screen and they introduce me to my beautiful new nephew. you. I was so happy in that moment, smiling ear to ear, getting all teary-eyed. The baby was all wrapped up in a hospital blanket with just his tiny face visible, and he was absolutely perfect. I was asking questions about his weight and if the delivery went okay when he handed the phone

to my mom because a nurse came in to check something. That's when my mom casually mentions that Sally is there too. My joy instantly evaporated. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I could actually feel my face fall, and this sick feeling spreading through my chest. I asked my mom why I wasn't invited to the hospital too if Sally was there. My mom just said, well, you were working, so we didn't think you'd be able to come. I told her that was for me to decide, not them. If they had just asked, I could have easily gotten permission from my manager to leave for a few hours for something this important. I've been at my job for eight years and have tons of goodwill built up, they would absolutely understand something like meeting my newborn

nephew. Instead, they all got to share this beautiful family moment together, holding the baby and celebrating, while I was the only one excluded. Again. I was so upset I just hung up on my mom mid-sentence. I immediately removed myself from the family group chat too. I couldn't stand seeing their happy hospital photos knowing I was deliberately left out. I was in tears at my death. I was in tears at my desk, which was humiliating because I'm not the type to get emotional at work. My coworker noticed and asked if I was okay, so I went to talk to my manager about what happened. She was actually really supportive and said she absolutely would have let me leave work to meet my nephew, and she thought it was pretty shitty of my family to do that to me.

I sat in my car during lunch break just crying and trying to process everything. It wasn't just about missing the birth, it was this realization that there's been this pattern of exclusion going on for years, and I've been making excuses for it the whole time. It made me question whether my family actually wants me around at all. After I calmed down a bit, I messaged my mom telling her how hurt I was by being left out again. Her response, I'm sorry you feel that way. Not I'm sorry we excluded you or I'm sorry we made an assumption without asking you.

Just that non-apology bullshit that puts it all on me like I'm being oversensitive. My manager looked at the text when I showed her and said that's textbook gaslighting and that my feelings are completely valid. I didn't hear anything from Sally or Be All Day. My dad sent one message asking why I left the family chat, but when I explained he just went silent. I went home feeling like absolute garbage and cried on my partner's shoulder. He's never been my family's biggest fan but has always been supportive of my relationship with them. Even he was shocked by this level of exclusion. I don't know. Maybe I am being dramatic. I've always been the one who keeps the peace in the family. The one who organizes birthday gifts and remembers anniversaries and plans holiday get-togethers.

I'm tired of being treated like an afterthought when I put so much effort into these relationships. Was I overreacting by hanging up? Ida. Update. So after Thursday, the day of the birth, I didn't hear a peep from any of my family until some. My phone was completely silent, no calls, no texts, nothing. I figured they were either giving me space or, more likely, waiting for me to crawl back and apologize for making a fuss. Well, I wasn't going to do that this time.

On Sunday afternoon, I was stupidly scrolling through Facebook, probably shouldn't have been, but I was curious and saw that my brother-in-law had posted a whole album of hospital photos. out all of his family was at the hospital that day two, his parents, his sister, his grandma, even his cousin who lives like two hours away. So literally the only people not invited were me, my partner, and my son. Seeing those photos felt like being kicked when I was already down. I messaged my mother after seeing this and flat out asked what I had done to deserve being excluded from everything. I wasn't even angry at this point, just deeply hurt and confused. Her response was that I've done absolutely nothing wrong, not to my sister or anyone.

She tried claiming that Sally just showed up at the hospital on her own without an invitation, which is complete bullshit. Sally is the type who needs explicit permission for everything. She wouldn't have just turned up unannounced at a hospital. She would have asked first or been invited. My mom said they assumed I couldn't get time off work because I'm always so dedicated to your job. I explained that how I manage my work schedule is up to me. If they'd asked and I declined, that would be different, but they never even gave me the option. They decided for me, just like they always do. Then my mom went on about how exhausted B is and how we should all be focusing on her right now, not on petty disagreements. As if my feelings are just some trivial drama I cooked

up for attention. She also threw in some guilt trip about how disappointing it is that I'm making B-E-A's special time all about you. That's when I decided I've had enough. I've told my mother I'm going low contact for a while. This isn't the first time I've been excluded, it's just the first time I'm standing up for myself about it. I'm deeply hurt by their actions and I need some time to figure out what kind of relationship I want with my family going forward. So that's where things stand for now. I'm focusing on my little family, my son and partner, and my in-laws, who I saw over the the weekend and were actually supportive about the whole thing. My mother-in-law offered to come over and watch my son so my partner and I could have a date night to decompress from all this stress,

which was really sweet. I'm also thinking about starting therapy again. I stopped going last year because things were going pretty well, but maybe I need some professional guidance on setting boundaries with family. This pattern has gone on for too long, and I don't want to keep feeling like the family outcast. Again, thank you to everyone who took the time to read and comment. It really meant a lot during this shitty time. It helps to know I'm not just being over-sensitive like my family seems to think. Update 2, a lot of you asked for another update, so here goes. Sorry it took a while, I've been trying to sort through my feelings and figure out what to do. B finally contacted me last night out of the blue. It had been almost two weeks of complete size,

from her, then suddenly my phone lights up with her name. I almost didn't answer, but figured we needed to talk eventually. The conversation started off awkwardly. She asked how I was doing in this overly casual way, like nothing had happened. When I didn't respond with the same fake cheerfulness, she immediately got defensive. She claimed she never told me that no one was allowed at the hospital and that the plan was always for all her in-laws to go. She said she'd also already had a conversation with Sally about her going too. She said I must have misheard her or misunderstood. I gently reminded her that my partner had been sitting in the same room that day when she specifically said no one at the hospital other than parents, so it seemed unlikely we'd both misheard.

I told her the first thing my partner said when I told him Sally was at the hospital was, but she said no one other than yours or her husband's parents. Then she shifted gears completely and said she'd been upset that I hadn't reached out to her after the FaceTime call. to check on her and the baby. She said she'd refused to chase me when I was the one who hung up and left the family chat. I explained that I had no idea what had been going on with her, whether she'd been discharged or anything, and that as a new mom I figured she wanted space with her baby, which seemed reasonable to me.

I certainly didn't expect her to chase after me when she had a newborn to care for. She then told me they've had to go back to the hospital daily since discharged because the baby's been having some health issues with jaundice and feeding. I told her I was genuinely sorry to hear that and hoped the little one would get better soon. I mean, regardless of our issues, I don't want my nephew to be sick. There was this awkward pause, and then she asked when I was planning to see the baby. I said I didn't know and that it would depend on getting an invitation given what happened last time. She said the invitation was open but that she's feeling really sore and bruised from the C-section,

understandable, and doesn't know how she'll feel day to day, so I need to set aside some time and check with them first if we wanted to visit. The conversation went around in circles for a while. She kept making these passive-aggressive comments about me making everything about myself and how she expected more support for me as her sister. I kept trying to explain that I was trying to be supportive but felt hurt by being excluded. We weren't really getting anywhere productive. I left it at that since it was past 10 p.m. and I needed to sleep. I hadn't even had dinner yet because the call went on so long. I talked with my partner afterward, and he thinks we should go completely no contact with them. He says life's too short to keep trying with people who clearly don't value me.

He's pretty pissed about how they've treated me, but said he'll support whatever decision I make. I'm still not sure what to do. I've been a doormat for too long, always making excuses for their behavior and putting their feelings above my own. Update 3, I messaged B and told her that when she was feeling up to it, to let me know a day and we would come visit. I figured I'd be the bigger person and make the first move. She left me on Reed and never responded. Whatever, I'm just letting her get on with things. She's a new mom with a potentially sick baby. I get that she has other priorities right now. My mom's been constantly sending messages and trying to FaceTime me. Most of them are about random stuff like recipes she tried or things my nephew is doing,

completely ignoring the elephant in the room. I've barely been responding to her messages. Haven't heard anything from Sally or my dad in the last couple weeks. This evening my mom facetimed me again. I wouldn't have answered, but my son was next to me and got all excited when he saw his grandmother pop up on my phone, so I had to pick up. She tried to act all normal and nice like nothing happened, chatting about the weather and asking my son about school.

I was pretty blunt with her, giving me. short answers and not engaging in the usual small talk. I could tell she was annoyed that I was still being off with her. She made some comment about how I've always been one to hold grudges, which is rich coming from her. After the call, I messaged her, probably shouldn't have, but I did, and told her that until I got a proper face-to-face apology. This is how things were going to be between us. I said I wasn't asking for much, just an acknowledgement that they hurt me and a genuine apology. She messaged back saying she's apologized loads. She sent that I'm sorry you feel that way non-apology and one message that did include the word sorry buried

in a bunch of other crap and nothing face-to-face. I reminded her that she tried to gaslight me the first time and only attempted to apologize once over text. She FaceTimed me again and said she had not tried to gaslight me, that she was sorry that I felt that way, and, I shit you not, you just let your feelings get the better of you. I told her again that no, that's not an apology and that my feelings are valid. I'm not letting my feelings get the better of me, I'm having a normal human reaction to being repeatedly excluded and then dismissed. She then said she was sorry, turned on the waterworks,

told me she couldn't do this anymore, and hung up. My mom has always used tears as a way to shut down conversations when they're not going her way. It worked when I was younger because I hated seeing, her cry, but I'm too old for that manipulation now. So, yeah, that's where things stand now. It's fucking exhausting. Other than all this drama, I've actually been okay. Just focusing on my son, my partner, and my work. I've been trying to be more present with my son. I've kind of come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to have that close-knit relationship with my family that I always wanted. But that's okay. I have my part.

partner, my son, and my in-laws. They're the ones who need to be the important people in my life now. I've started therapy again too. Had my first session yesterday. It was mostly just catching my therapist up on everything that's happened since I stopped going last year, but it felt good to talk to someone objective. She suggested setting clear boundaries with my family rather than cutting them off completely, which makes sense. I doubt there will be another update, but thank you to everyone for taking the time to read and comment. It's really helped me feel less crazy about the whole situation. Okay. I honestly didn't think there'd be another update, but here goes. This just happened today and I'm still feeling unsure about everything and pretty upset.

Over the last few weeks, a lot has happened. My mom and dad both apologized properly, like actual, real apologies where they acknowledged what they did wrong and how it hurt me. We're working on rebuilding our relationship. Whether you agree with that decision or not, it's what I've chosen to do. There's still my parents and I want my son to have grandparents in his life. For the record, my dad admitted that my mom was the one who told Sally she could come to the hospital.

Apparently she didn't think it would be that big of a deal since I was at work. He said he should have spoken up, but didn't want to cause drama at such a happy time. At least he owned up to it, which I appreciate. Sally also came to see me last weekend and we talked through the whole situation like adults. She brought coffee and actually listened to my perspective. She admitted she didn't consider how it would look to me when she got to go to the hospital and I didn't. She said she just assumed I'd been invited too, but couldn't make it because of work. We both apologize to each other for the misunderstandings and hurt feelings and things had been okay since.

Not back to normal, but better than before. While Sally was visiting, she suggested I be the bigger person and reach out to be again. She said B's been struggling with postpartum stuff and is overwhelmed with the baby's health issues. Apparently he's still having problems. After thinking about it for a few days, I messaged B and told her I would be taking my son to see our parents today and that she was welcome to come by if she wanted to see us. I figured a short visit with other people around might be easier than a one-on-one meeting. My son, partner, and I got to my parents' house this morning around 10 a.m.

My dad made his famous pancakes and my son was showing my mom his new video game. We had to leave by 11.30 since we had other commitments today. My son has a birthday party to go to this afternoon. We were having a nice time, and I was starting to think B wasn't going to show up after all. But about 45 minutes after we arrived, B. showed up with her baby, now five weeks old. She looked exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes. She barely said hello before sitting down and starting to fiddle with the baby's blanket. My mom asked B. to let me hold the baby, but be refused and said we needed to talk first,

which was fine. I wasn't going to push her on it. I tried making conversation, commented on how cute the baby was, he really is adorable, asked how they were all doing at home with the dog and everything, and even gave her a gift that my partner and I had picked up recently. B. gave me one-word answers while my mom filled in all the details about the baby's feeding schedule and doctor's appointments. It was awkward as hell. At one point, Bih handed the baby to my mom and left the room without saying anything. She was gone for about 10 minutes. My mom asked me to go check on her, but I refused because she'd barely acknowledged any

of us since arriving. When she came back, she still barely spoke. She just didn't. She just took the baby back from my mom and sat there staring at him. As we were getting ready to leave, B suddenly said she was sorry for being quiet, but that she was feeling awkward after five weeks of not talking. She said I'd upset her by not contacting her to check on her and the baby. I explained that I knew she had a lot going on, being a new mom, exclusively breastfeeding, not getting much sleep, and recovering from surgery, and I hadn't wanted to bother her. That's when she lost it. She started shouting at me, calling me ridiculous and saying, that's not what sisters do. Sisters are there for each other. And that I'd hurt her feelings. She continued

yelling, while holding her baby, which made me really uncomfortable, that she never said I couldn't go to the hospital, that I'd misconstrued what she said, and that she didn't know how this would ever be fixed. My partner, mom, and dad tried to defuse the situation by saying they could see both sides and that even though we were frustrated with each other, she needed to calm down and just talk. B then started shouting at my parents, saying she was sick of them taking my side. At that point, I couldn't even speak. I was so shocked by her outburst. My son was in the room and picking up on all the anger from B and asking to leave. My son hates conflict and gets really anxious when adults argue. I told everyone we were going.

I wasn't going to have my child witness this kind of behavior. My parents followed us outside, my mom asked me to go back inside, but I couldn't. The last thing I wanted was to get into an accident because I was upset. He came to the door with the baby and said she didn't want me to leave like this. I told her tough shit. I'd tried to be civil, and all she'd done was shout at me. My partner tried to get me to turn around and go back, saying we should clear the air once and for all, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was so upset I just wanted to go home and

process everything. My mom called when we got home to check if I was okay. I broke down and said no. I told her I'd tried, but all B. had done was yell at me and tried to make me out to be a liar. She'd taken zero accountability for what she'd said to me and my partner all those weeks ago. My parents actually commended me for staying so calm while B. was shouting. I explained that I refuse to be a parent who loses it in front of their kid, and in order to stay calm, I needed to leave. My mom suggested that maybe Bee is dealing with postpartum depression or anxiety, which might explain, but not excuse, her behavior. She said B's been having a really rough time with the baby's health issues and lack of sleep. I understand that, but it doesn't give her

the right to scream at me in front of my child. My mom and partner both think I should contact be again once I've calmed down, but I honestly don't know what to even say at this point. I feel like I've tried everything. I've reached out, I've explained my feelings, I've wrought a gift, I've tried to be understanding of her situation. Nothing seems to work. So that's where things stand right now. I'm torn between wanting to fix things with my sister for the sake of our children growing up together and feeling like I've already done everything I can. I don't want my son to grow up without knowing his cousin, but I also don't want to subject him to that kind of toxic environment. I've got another therapy session tomorrow, so I'll talk it through there.

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