Reddit Stories - Betrayed exposing my toxic mother s sabotage of my family and career leading to her uninvitation from my child s life

Episode Date: May 24, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayal #toxicmother #familydrama #careerissues #parentingchallengesSummary:A Reddit user shares the heartbreaking story of being betrayed by their toxic mother, who sabotaged their family and career. This led to the difficult decision of uninviting her from their child's life.Tags:redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, betrayal, toxicmother, familydrama, careerissues, parentingchallenges, familyconflict, personalgrowth, motherissues, relationships, mentalhealth, emotionalpain, support, advice, copingstrategies, healing.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my unhealthy mother ridiculing my relationship and occupation in secret. Consequently, I rescinded her invitation to my pregnancy celebration, but she is currently portraying herself as the wronged party and is gossiping. Lies about me. So around three days back, I had my baby shower and my mom showed up, uninvited. I'll tell you guys why she was not invited, it's because my mom is just crazy. There is no better or more polite way to put it, that's just how it is and it has been like that

for quite some time. I guess it happened when she and my father got divorced and my dad started dating his co-worker two years after that. I am 26F, my mom is 49F, and my dad is 52M. His girlfriend, Sally, is 38F. I know it must sound like my dad and Sally are the people who are in the wrong here, but they are actually the good guys. My mother just hates them both because she thinks that my dad has been cheating and has been

emotionally involved with her since before the divorce, which is definitely not the case. To be honest, I don't even know why she was so torn up after the divorce because she had initiated it in the first place. My parents had always had a very troubled marriage, I had never seen the two of them happy together since I was a child, and when they got divorced seven years ago, I was actually relieved. Because I thought that finally, both of them would have an opportunity to get ahead in life and actually be happy. It had become very evident to me throughout my childhood that maybe they had been in love at some point,

I can't deny that, but they were not in love anymore. My mother was a particularly difficult person to live with because, on some days, she would be in a perfectly good mood and would be all sunshine and rose, but on the bad days, she would turn into a raging monster and constantly look for an opportunity to get mad at somebody. Most of the time, it was my father that she's started yelling at the most tiniest and insignificant of things. She usually avoided screaming

at me if she could help it because I stayed out of her way, and she knew that if she started yelling at me, I wouldn't hold back either because I was just as outspoken and loud as she was. And whenever we did end up fighting, I always kept screaming and yelling right back at her until she gave up so, she kind of knew better than to mess with me. And that's me as a teenager, so you can only imagine how bad it must have been if she tried to pick a fight with me as an adult. That's why all her anger and frustration ended up getting taken out on my father. He'd put up with it for a long time and even though he would fight back occasionally, he would mostly just ignore it and try to get on with his day whenever she had her little

rage outbursts. He knew that she would go back to normal in a day or two and apologize to him, so he never bothered to get mad. Both of us are familiar with the pattern that my mom followed and weren't really bothered whenever she would start screaming about something. I would usually stay out of this and would only consult my father when the fight was done, or rather when my mother was done screaming at him. It was a difficult time for all of us.

But then out of the blue, one day, my father called me up when I was in college, and he told me that my mother had filed for a divorce because she was not happy with him anymore, and after I had left for college, she had realized that all these years, she had only been with him because of me. But now that I was gone, the glue holding the family was gone, and I was grown up, so she did not feel the need to stick with him in an unhappy marriage anymore. I remember telling him that I was thankful that was happening and even he sounded pretty relieved that day. The reverse was an amicable one and they wrapped things up pretty quickly. I was happy that they were separated now, even though it meant that it would be.

be very awkward for them to be in the same room after that. I did keep in touch with my mother because she was mostly pleasant, except when it came to matters regarding my father. I guess you could say I had a complicated relationship with her, but I never thought about cutting her off anything of the sort because I think that would be a little too extreme. She was there for all of my birthdays after they divorced, even though it was kind of awkward for her, and my dad would be in the same room, especially after he had started dating Sally. The two of them were. The two of them also attended my wedding and for my sake. My mother would keep her mouth shut during the pits, but as soon as she and I were on our own, she would start ranting about how much she hated Sally.

She was convinced that my dad had been emotionally involved with her from before they got divorced since Sally had been quite an old friend of his. But I can assure you guys that it was not possible because I know my father, and he would never cheat. Even though he was miserable in the marriage, I know for a fact that he would never do this to my mother. mom, or anybody else, for that matter. Also, he and Sally had started reading two whole years after the divorce. If they had really wanted to show that they had been cheating, they probably wouldn't have waited that long. Anyway, my point is that my mother was not right about the things that she believed, but no matter how much I tried to convince her, she would just not listen to me and

tell me that I did not know anything. That was kind of frustrating, but I would understand that she was upset and did not let it get to me. She essentially believed that my father had traded her in for a younger model, even though Sally was just younger, but not exactly young. Even though she was in her late 30s I don't think that qualifies to be young, to be honest. She would pointedly ignore my dad and Sally every time they had to meet and make rude remarks about her to me in private. I did not find that nice because, to be honest, Sally was a really nice person. She and I had always had a very cordial relationship and I guess that's what annoyed my mother about it because she could not stand the fact that I liked her. I tried my best to strike the right balance

between them and so far, I have been able to have a good relationship with both my parents. I have been married for almost two years now and at the beginning of the year, my husband and I found out that I was pregnant. We were overjoyed, and we even threw her party to announce our pregnancy. Both my parents were incredibly happy for me and have been very supportive so far. But about two weeks ago, I was visiting my mother because my aunt had come over and I wanted to meet her. She lives in London and comes to visit us all once a year, so I thought I would pay her a visit and we were all sitting around and having a fun time. But at one point, I had to get up and leave because I had to go to the restroom and since I'm pregnant and quite big right now, it took me a total

of six minutes to get up, do my business, and then come back. It used to take me three minutes, but pregnant women can understand the struggle. I had left my phone in the room and had accidentally started recording before I left. I had been clicking photos of myself, wearing a necklace that my mother had said I could borrow, just to see how it looked. And after that, I left the room, so maybe that's how I accidentally ended up recording. But when I came back, I stopped recording but forgot to delete the video. It was not until I got back home that I remembered about it and I was about to delete it, but But I thought that I might play it, just for fun.

I did not expect anything outrageous, but boy was there a surprise for me. It had started recording from the point that I had kept my phone down on the couch, where I was sitting, so the faces were not visible, and the video had only captured the ceiling, but I was lucky enough to have a good microphone and it caught the entire conversation that my mother and my aunt were having was while I was not in the room. As soon as I was out of earshot, my aunt made a comment about how big I was and asked my mother how many months I was along. She told her that I was seven months along, to which my aunt said that she did not expect me to be this big and almost expected me to be close to my delivery date.

It was not a genuine conversation, and there was not even a bit of concern in their voice. I knew that she was making fun of me, and my mother actually joined in, which came as a huge surprise to me because she knew that I was kind of insecure about all the weight that I was gaining and how big I had gotten during the pregnancy and she had been telling me that it was no big deal. But behind my back, while talking to my aunt, she started joking about how she thought I was going to give birth to triplets because of how fat I was now. Then, she started making even worse comments about me, saying that she hoped that the baby did not get my face or my nose and was going to suggest that I start saving up for a nose job because that would be pretty necessary in the future.

They started making fun of all my insecurities and were really laughing it up behind my back. And then, they started to talk about my dad and Sally. My aunt was the one who asked her how that was going, and my mother started telling her about how annoyed she was that I always seemed to suck up to Sally as if I was her minion, and called me one of my dad's cronies. Then, my aunt started speculating that maybe I was sucking up to my dad and Sally because I wanted them to invest in my business, which is so wrong because I was. I had already presented my business model to them and they liked it, I did not need to suck up

to them, they liked me for who I was, and they believed in me, which is why they were investing. Not because of any other reason. I expected my mother to jump in and defend me at some point, but they just kept going on and on until I came back. So not only were they making fun of my looks, they were also underestimating my talent and I could not tolerate it. I wasn't that upset about my aunt saying these things because I knew that she was a vapid gossip, but I was just very disappointed that my mother was partaking in this, especially after I had tried to pretend that she was a good person, all my life, even though everybody else seemed to dislike her. I had come up with excuses for her all my life, but that one video just ruined everything. After that video, I was really

pissed. I had always tried to defend my mother, but that video proved everybody else right and showed me just how wrong I was for trying to keep in touch with that woman. The only reason I had been trying to have a good relationship with her was because at the end of the day, no matter how she was as a person, she was still my mother. But after that, I decided to cut her off and I didn't even send her an invitation to my baby shower. I also told everybody else who was invited to make sure that they did not breathe a word of this to her, but somehow, she found out. I guess it must have been somebody who did not understand the gravity of the situation and decided to be loose-lipped around her.

So on the day of my baby shower, a couple of days ago, after everybody had arrived and we were having a great time playing games, she decided to storm into the venue and demand an explanation as to why she had not been invited. I knew that she was really relishing the opportunity to create drama and draw attention to herself since that's what she is most used to. But I was not going to give her the satisfaction of getting me all riled up, so I decided to keep a cool head and instead of yelling at her or fighting with her or having any sort of confrontation, I decided to just play the video on my phone. I put it on loudspeaker and stood up so that everybody who was present at the party could see what was going on. Everybody was quiet,

and there was nothing much to actually watch in the video. It was just the audio that mattered so everybody was dumbstruck at what they were hearing. I know that nobody had particularly high expectations from my mother, but even then, this was shocking. After playing the video, I decided to just stay quiet and wait for her to speak up because she was the one who had stormed in here and was trying to stir up drama. I thought that maybe she was going to start apologizing or at least defend herself, but to my surprise, she went the opposite way and started yelling at me, accusing me of violating her privacy and saying that she was going to call the cops on me and sue me for what I had done. I was too shocked to say anything because I didn't

even understand how she came to that conclusion, and thankfully, my husband decided to step in at that moment. And he told her to leave or he would be forced to call the cops and unlike her, we had genuine reason to do that since she was crashing a party that she hadn't even been invited to. Anyway, after she was threatened by the cops, she finally left, but not before she told me that I would have to pay the price for this. Since I had humiliated her and she was not going to let this go. My dad and Sally were also really upset by the comments that my mother had made and right now, nobody from the family is speaking to her. Not even people from her own family, since some of my relatives from my mother's side of the family were present

at the baby shower and they heard everything. And they passed that information on, so now everybody from her side of the family also knows about the things that she said, and they don't want to talk to her. And she's blaming me for all of it and claiming that she's going to sue me for invading her privacy without her consent. I'd offer playing a recording of my mom talking crap about me at my baby shower. Update 1, hi, thank you so much for supporting me and making me realize that I had nothing to feel guilty about. I also don't have anything to feel scared about because obviously, my mother does not have a case against me. It's not a crime to accidentally end up recording somebody on my phone and it's not like I'm using that for anything illegal, so it doesn't matter.

at least in our state, I don't think I'm going to get into any trouble for this, and I'm sure that no self-respect and lawyer is even going to fight this for my mother unless a huge amount of money is offered to them and I would love to see that happening. Since my mother wouldn't have that kind of money either. And even if she somehow managed to find a lawyer, I can't imagine any judge entertaining a frivolous case like this. That's just my opinion. I don't really know what's going to happen. But I know that she can't contact me after this. I have blocked her and now she can go on talking about how I have invaded her privacy, it's not going to matter to me.

I don't think it's going to matter to anybody else either because everybody is on my side here. The things that she said were really mean, and I can't imagine any other mom saying these things about their own daughter. My family has been great to me, they have been keeping a check on how I'm doing and are trying their best to be there for me, which I really appreciate. So far, things have been good, even after the fiasco. at the baby shower. I just wish that whichever relative of mine blabbed to my mother about the event

would fess up so that I would be able to let them know how disappointed I am in them because they ruined a very special event in my life. Update 2, Hey, guys. So apparently there has been a new development here and I have gotten to know from a couple of people that my mother has been spreading absolute lies about me behind my back, to make up for the fact that she had said such horrible things, and I had caught them on camera, and then exposed her reality to the family. She probably realized that taking the lawyer route was not going to help her, so she resorted to this. And since I have blocked her, she can't exactly bother me in person anymore, so she is going around talking crap about me to everybody else. She has been telling people that the reason she was

upset with me, the day that she was talking behind my back and I caught that, is because I am fake and I am nice to my mother to her face. Apparently I never try to be there for her when she really needs it. She cooked up some story about how she needed some money a couple of months ago since she was stranded at a restaurant, and her cart was not working for some reason, so she called me and she even told me that she would return the money to me as soon as it was possible for her, but she just needed me to bail her out in that instance. Apparently, I just declined and told her that I was not comfortable doing this for her and then hung up the call. This literally never happened, and if it had happened, would still not have appreciated the fact that she was talking behind my back.

Anyway, apparently she has been telling people this story and then she has said that, even after that incident, she tried to confront me and talk things out with me and I was just extra nice and sweet to her and told her that I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but she could tell that I was being insincere and fake. She had a lot of problems with me, but she did not want to bother me discussing them because I was pregnant, so she just kept them to herself and came out while she was talking to my aunt. None of this ever happened and this entire incident is made up and I can't say that I expected any better from my mom. The relatives of mine who have told me about the lies that she's been telling people want me to confront her, but I really don't have the energy to do that. I am seriously heavily pregnant right now and everything is exhausting, so this is the last thing that I need. My husband also thinks that I should confront her and put an end to this,

but I honestly don't know if it's even worth it because that's just going to lead to another fight and we're already not on speaking terms anymore. So what's the point of all of that? I just want to live peacefully and not have any drama with anyone. I seriously don't think that it's too much to ask for. Update 3, hey, so it has been close to a month since the day of my baby shower and from what I know, my mother is still trying to do. My mother is still trying to to save face and telling people about what a horrible daughter I was to her, which is why she was talking crap about me. But this is not about that, this is about the guest whom I had invited, and then they decided

to talk to my mother about it, in spite of my very specific instructions not to do that. It's actually pretty surprising who it turned out to be because the person who blabbed was my father. Yeah, I could not even believe it when he confessed to me a couple of days ago and told me that that this had been weighing on his conscience for the last few weeks, so he felt the need to tell me. I was so shocked that I didn't even scold him, I just wanted to know why he would do that. Granted, I hadn't explained the real reason as to why I did not want anybody talking about the event to my mother since I did not want to stir up any drama, but I thought that my

instructions were clear enough. I know that people would have been curious about why I did not want my mother attending, but I planned on telling everybody at the party. In person, instead of leaving a paper trail and mentioning anything about what had happened between my mother and I in the email. But apparently, my dad could not understand why I had not invited my mother, and he had even asked me and my husband about the reason why, but we were really busy so we had not been able to respond to him on time. We had just told him that we would discuss it with him later, but then we forgot about it. He wasn't able to wait and so, he decided to take a leap of faith and forwarded the email to my mother and asked her what was going on. In the invitation of the invitation of the

itself, I had mentioned that I did not want this to reach my mother in any case and I wanted everybody to keep their mouth shut about it and not mention this to my mother because I did not want her attending the baby shower. So that's how my mother was able to find out and ended up showing up at the party, because of my father. He apologized to me profusely for it and I think that I am fine with it right now, but I'm glad that he did not tell me about any of this a couple of weeks ago because back then, I was furious and I definitely would have yelled at him if he had told me just a few weeks ago. Anyway, he has told me that he is really sorry about what he did, and he told me that he just hadn't been thinking things through. He should have known that there

was a valid reason as to why I did not want my mother in attendance, and I would have told people in a while anyway since this is something that people deserved an explanation for. He should have trusted me instead of taking matters into his own hands, and I forgave him since he accepted his mistake and apologized for it. Update 4. Hi, it's been almost six months since my baby shower and I can't believe that I'm still talking about that incident. Anyway, here goes. So a couple of weeks ago, my mother sent out invitations to her birthday party that was supposed to take place this week. My husband and I were obviously not invited, which is not something that we care about since we are pretty busy being new parents, and also,

I'm not interested in having any sort of contact with my mother anyway. So I had heard from the rest of my family that she had sent out invitations, but I didn't know that literally nobody from our family had accepted that invitation. And when I say, nobody, I mean, nobody. Not a single person, that's got a sting. And it did, since my mother was very upset about it and a day before the party, she showed up at my house. I did not let her in when I realized that it was her and I told her that whatever she had to say to me, she could say it from outside the house, because frankly, I did not trust her. And more importantly, I had my baby sleeping in the room. I did not want her to come in and have any access to my son.

She told me that I was insulting her and I told her that yes, I was, and I didn't even feel bad about it, especially after everything that she had said about me to other people and the way that she had been treating me for the past few months. I think everything came to head that day and I ended up telling her what I thought of her. I guess I just needed some sense of closure because I had been keeping my distance from her, so I didn't have the opportunity to actually retaliate for everything that she had been doing. But that day, when she showed up at my house, I couldn't hold back. I told my husband to take my son into the nursery and keep him there until my mother had left.

And then, I started telling my mother about how much she had hurt me. In spite of me constantly being there for her and trying to maintain a relationship with her, she did not seem to value any of it and thought that it was okay to talk behind my back and then actually tried to justify her actions by making up lies about me. I didn't even realize when it happened, but I had started screaming at her and she was just standing there quietly, on the other side of the door, hearing me shout at her. Once I was done, she just said that she understood where I was coming from, and that she was not going to bother me again, but she just hoped that I would talk to her family and tell them that she was not the villain, so they

would stop avoiding her like she was the plague. She told me that nobody had accepted the invitation to her birthday party, and she was really hurt, so she wanted me to talk to her family. It was an outrageous demand. After everything that she has done, I don't think she has the right to ask anything of me, let alone something like that. I told her that I did know anything to her, and I was not going to do anything that she was telling me. I reminded her that she had not congratulated me or even shown up for me after my son had been born, so as far as I was concerned, we did not have any relationship. And since I did not consider her to be my mother anymore, I did not need to do anything for her or try to think and care about her feelings. She hadn't cared

about mine or anybody else's, so I don't understand why she would expect the same from everybody else. It's the peak of entitlement. She tried to argue with me for a bit, but then I told her that I wanted her to leave because it was quite late at night, and I had already made up my mind that I was not going to help her. So after that, she left, but she did use a few choice expletives to describe me before that. Anyway, she ended up canceling the birthday party that she had planned and just ended up going out to dinner with a couple of her friends, from what I heard. I haven't told my family to do anything, I haven't even told them not to talk to her, like she believes. I don't have any sort of hold or influence over these people, but they are good people, which is why they are avoiding

her. When she came to meet me that other day, she did not apologize to me for anything. She just told me that she understands where I'm coming from. Like, what does that even mean? She can understand where I'm coming from but she can't apologize to me? If her ego is really big, I think she can handle a few relatives and not attending her birthday party, especially since she is a grown woman with a grown daughter and not a high school girl. At least my husband and I are happy with our lives and are too busy to care about any of this. All our focus is going to be on raising our sun now.