Reddit Stories - Betrayed Family Confessions and Hidden Truths ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 8

Episode Date: February 8, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayal #familydrama #confessions #hiddentruths #emotionalstoriesSummary: In Episode 8 of "Betrayed Family Confessions and Hidden Truths," listeners are immersed in over three hours of compelling narratives. The episode explores deep-seated family betrayals, revealing hidden truths that challenge relationships and perceptions, ultimately prompting reflection on trust and loyalty within familial bonds.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, familysecrets, emotionalconfessions, hiddentruths, storytelling, familydynamics, trustissues, personalnarratives, lifechallenges, relationshipadvice, podcast, drama, confessions, truthrevealed, emotionaljourney, familybetrayalBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse sought a child to salvage our relationship while being unfaithful, prompting me to depart and initiate legal proceedings to end the marriage. However, he and his relatives are incessantly contacting me, begging me to come back. My husband, Theo, and I have been together for five years and married for three. Theo and I met in college and we started dating in our final semester and since then,

then, we had been together. We have had a fairly normal relationship with ups and downs like any other couple. Recently, after our third marriage anniversary, he told me that he wanted to start trying for a baby because he thought that it was the right time to start a family. And he was right, we were both in pretty great places career-wise and were in our mid-20s and have already been together for quite a long time, so it's a pretty good time to have a baby. I agreed and after trying for a couple of months, I finally got pregnant two months ago. I was overjoyed and he seemed happy as well, but it wasn't until a week ago that I found out that it was all for show. Until now, the only people who know about the pregnancy are our families and a couple of close

friends, but we haven't made any announcement yet. So last week, when I saw a notification on his phone from a co-worker, asking if he was really fine with the pregnancy, it caught my interest. because Theo himself had told me that he wanted to keep the pregnancy under wraps for a couple of months, so I didn't know why he had spoken to his co-worker about it. And he was on his phone when he received that message, so I could have just asked him about it, but I had a gut feeling that he wouldn't tell me the truth. So later that night, I decided to go through his phone. I had to snoop because it was just my gut feeling that told me that I confronted him about it.

I was never going to get a straight answer and he might even delete all the messages. So I never would have been able to find out either. And I'm so glad that I decided to go through his phone secretly instead of just confronting him because of the things that I found in that conversation with his coworker, I'm pretty sure he never would have confessed to it himself if I didn't already know the truth. I had to scroll up quite a lot to find out the context, but here's the deal. Theo had been talking to one of his co-workers about a new employee who had joined recently, and they had become quite close friends since he had been training her.

Let's call this woman Natasha and Natasha happens to be quite attractive since I met her at a party and I did not suspect anything off because my husband's behavior with her had been quite cordial at the party. They seemed to be good friends and nothing more, so I had no reason to doubt him. But after reading the texts he had sent his friend from work, realized that he was just putting on a front so that I wouldn't suspect anything but in reality, he was quite attracted to her and he had talked about it to his friend in detail. It was quite gross because he had said things like he couldn't stop thinking about her, even when he was with me, and even though they hadn't exactly done anything yet, he had confessed that

he wouldn't be against the idea if she tried to make a move on him. And if you think that that's the worst thing that he could have said, it actually gets even worse. He had also spoken about how he had started to find me very irritating and I had been getting on his nerves recently. In comparison, the time that he spent with Natasha seemed to be a lot more pleasant for him, so much so that he would end up finding himself waiting to go back to work every time that he would come back home to me, and he didn't feel like speaking to me at all, but he had to because I was

pregnant and he didn't want me to suspect anything. He had said that he hated even having to sleep in the same bed with me, but he had no other option. His co-worker has been trying to reason with him and had called him out on his strange behavior because it was really wrong of him to be leading me on like this, especially when he knew that he had started to lose feelings for me. The worst part was that Natasha had joined their workplace about eight months ago and I knew that because he had told me about how he had to help train a new employee and how annoying it was for him around that time. And if I'm not wrong, we celebrated our wedding anniversary two months after Natasha joined. So by the time that he had suggested the idea of starting a family,

Natasha had already become a part of his life and they had been friends at the time. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he would suggest starting a family with me if he had started to lose feelings. He could have still changed his mind a few months after our anniversary, but he continued to actively try having a baby with me, and all the while, he was falling out of love with me. It was a betrayal of the highest degree and I just couldn't figure out why he would do something like this to me. That night, I spent half of the night reading the messages and scrolling up as much as I could, and after I had read everything, I just kept his phone beside him and tried to go to sleep on the couch because I couldn't stand to lie beside him. But I couldn't bring

myself to go to sleep, no matter how hard I tried, and when he woke up in the morning, he was quite shocked to see me on the couch. I was honestly in a daze, but when he came to me and hugged me in the morning, I was so disgusted that I ended up pushing him away and I immediately told him that he didn't have to act like he was in love with me anymore because I knew about Natasha. I had read all the messages that he had been sending to his co-worker and now. I was going to leave him. When I pushed him away, he seemed surprised, but my worst fears were confirmed when he did not even try to deny any of it. He just kept looking at the floor after my outburst, and that was even more frustrating for me because the least he could do was at least give me some

answers. I had spent the entire night thinking about what I would say to him, but honestly, when I had the opportunity, I couldn't do anything, but just cry on the couch beside him. because unlike him, I was still in love with him and I wanted to make things work, but it was clear to me that it wouldn't be possible because I didn't think that he wanted to make it work. After crying for a good couple of minutes, I just asked him why he had decided to have a baby with me, especially when he knew that he was falling out of love with me. Because I knew for a fact that by the time he had suggested starting a family, he had already

started developing feelings for Natasha. And finally, that got him to talk, and he told me that he had suggested having a baby with me because he thought that this was just a phase and it would become easier for him to feel reconnected to me again once we had something to bond over, like a baby. So basically, he had thought that having a baby was going to solve everything. But unfortunately, it hadn't solved anything. He had still continued to fall out of love with me and he was falling for Natasha instead. I don't know if it was or if he was infatuated with her because he was bored with our marriage,

but all I knew was that he did not love me anymore. And because of him, I was not pregnant with the baby of a man who did not even love me and it was just heartbreaking. After he told me that, he started to apologize to me, but I didn't even want to hear it. At that point, all I wanted to do was get away from him, so I packed a few of my things and left. He kept apologizing but did not try to stop me, so I ended up going to my parents' place, and once I was there, I finally just had a complete meltdown. I told them everything about what I had found on his phone, what he had said, and I told them that I did not want to go back to him. My dad was furious, but he kept his temper under control and he told me that I was going to be living with them now and whatever I needed to be

brought back from my place. He would get it for me, but I didn't have to go back to see him again. My mother called up my uncle who has a law firm and asked him to put me in touch with a competent divorce attorney as quickly as he could so we could start the legal proceedings because there was no going back after this. I had the good sense to take a couple of screenshots of the conversation between him and his co-worker and just for good measure, I had even taken a couple of screenshots of his conversation with Natasha. Although I have to admit, his conversation with his co-worker was a lot more incriminating than his chats with Natasha because even though he would flirt with her occasionally, and she would flirt back, they never took it too far and mostly talked about work,

but there's no telling what they got up to in person. Either way, I was not mad about what whatever had or had not happened with Natasha, I was upset because he had actually said that he wouldn't be against the idea of cheating on me if Natasha wanted to make a move on him and I didn't even care if it was a hypothetical situation. It was bad enough that he was even considering it. For me, that was as good as actually cheating on me and let's not forget the fact that he had also talked a bunch of crap about me, like how he had started to find me annoying and how he had been pretending to be in love with me, and suggested that we have a baby because he thought that would be the solution to all our problems.

Basically, everything that he had done was unforgivable, and I had no intention of going back to him. But neither did I have any intention of giving up the baby or terminating my pregnancy, just because the dad had turned out to be a jerk. I was ready to be a mother, with or without a husband. So along with the divorce, I also decided that I was going to file for full custody of my child, at least until my baby was old enough to be left alone with his father. Worse comes to worse, I would agree to visiting rights, but there was no way. that I was going to let him have partial custody. And these are the terms that I told my divorce

lawyer so he could start the process, prepare the paperwork, and file for the divorce and custody of my child. If you asked me, I thought I had been more than fair because it's not like I had asked for any alimony since I was also a working woman, and I made the same kind of money that he did. Neither did I ask for any settlement money. I just wanted a fair and equal division of all our joint assets. The only thing that I was demanding was child support because whether he liked it or not, it had been his idea to have a baby. Even though he had already fallen out of love with me at that point and it was just a last-ditch attempt by him to find a point of commonality so we could still be together because he was too much of a coward, to be honest with me and himself. He definitely

owed me child support, and in my opinion, the terms of the divorce were completely fair. I had blocked him the day that I left home and within a couple of days of that, he had been served. That had been around two days ago, and since then, his family has been blowing up my phone with calls and texts, begging me to come back. I guess by now, both his parents and his siblings have found out what he had been up to. Strangely enough, he told them what had really happened and even more strangely, they think that it's still reasonable enough to ask me to come back to him. I haven't answered a single phone call from his family, but they still keep texting me relentlessly from several social media accounts since I started blocking them.

They believe that he and I can still make it work because even though he had been thinking about somebody else, it's not like he had actually done anything. And until he actually physically acts on his thoughts, it's no harm done. I don't think they understand the concept of emotional cheating, but it's not my responsibility to explain it to them, so I haven't said anything about it. I know, for a fact that no matter how hard they try to convince me, it's not going to work and I'm definitely not going back to him. But the only reason that I'm here right now, doubting myself, is because they think that,

even if I don't come back to him, it's still unfair of me to demand full custody of the child because he wants to be a father as well and the child is not mine to claim, the baby has his genes as well. So even if I don't come back for the sake of our marriage, the least I can do is at least entertain the idea of partial custody because he deserves it. And right now, I'm in a dilemma about whether I should actually consider it or not, or whether I should stick to my demand for full custody. So I'd have for demanding full custody of my future kid because my husband had been emotionally cheating on me with a coworker? Update 1. Hi. So I have spoken to my parents about what my in-laws

have been saying and they have told me that it's my body, my baby, and at the end of the day, it has to be my decision what I want to do. Besides, it's Theo, who's screwed up, not me, so if somebody has to make any sacrifices, it has to be him. If they want to contest my decision for full custody, they are definitely free to do so. I'm not going to stop them or try to argue with them, but it has to be fought out in court.

And I'm not going to allow them to make me feel guilty about what my gut says. I believe that it would be better for the baby to spend the initial few years only with me and I don't think that at the moment, I will be fine with co-parenting my child with Theo. I absolutely hate him right now and I can't even stand the sight of him. So co-parenting is out of the question and that's why I've decided that I want full custody. But of course, we are going to have to speak to a mediator first and if we are not able to come to a conclusion there, this is going to go to family court. I think that's the only fair way of deciding what's right. I think they should let the legal proceeding

take their course and then, we'll see what happens. That's what I texted them, so they would stop bothering me relentlessly. Because honestly, his parents and his siblings, his two older sisters, have no business telling me what's right for my baby and what's not. I had a normal civil relationship with his family for so long, but if they are going to pretend I am the bad guy for wanting to leave him, I don't want anything to do with them. And I definitely don't need advice about marriage or kids from them because they decided to support Theo. They have been trying to convince me that what he ordered was not all that bad because at least he did not actually cheat on me. Like I said, it's not my responsibility to explain to them that emotional

cheating is still cheating and honestly, I'm just too exhausted from having to deal with all of this to speak to them about these things as well. I just want them all to leave me alone, if I'm being honest, and the only reason that I responded to them with my message. I have also told them that the way they have been harassing me online by texting me constantly from various accounts, even after they have been blocked, only reflects badly on them when this goes to family court because I'm definitely going to be bringing it up. I don't know if it's going to stop them from texting me again and again because it's only been a couple of hours since I sent that message, but I'm really hoping that it does because it's already very difficult for me to cope with what's

going on, especially since I'm pregnant. I definitely don't need more trouble on my plate from his end right now. Neither he nor his lawyer has responded to our petition yet, so I guess it's going to take time. If they just had to agree with whatever our terms were, they probably would have responded sooner, but now I'm guessing that they don't agree. I've been very stressed out about all of this, but I'm really happy to have my family by my side. So far, only a couple of people knew about the pregnancy and I'm going to keep it that way because the last thing that I need right now is a bunch of people texting me and trying to talk to me. Only my parents and my close friends know what's going on in my life regarding Theo and they have all been there for me to the best of

their abilities. It has been a little over a week since I left home and a couple of days ago. I told my dad that I wanted to go back to bring everything that I had left and wasn't able to pack before I left. But true to his words, he told me that I didn't need to go back and see Theo. He was going to get it all done for me. So he and a couple of my friends went over to Théo. He and a couple of my friends went over to Theo's place this weekend since we knew that he was going to be home. They managed to get all the stuff back to me without any trouble, and my friends told me that Theo steered clear of them the entire time they were there, as if he was scared of what they were going to say or how they were going to behave with him.

Lucky for him, my dad and my friends did not even acknowledge his existence while they were there. They were only there to collect my things, and once that was done, they left. I asked my friends if he had been acting any differently because it was really curious to know how this was affecting him and they told me that he had only been around them for a couple of minutes and he just seemed apparently. It was very clear from the way he had completely given up on his appearance that he was not doing great right now. He had bags under his eyes and he hadn't shaved for quite a couple of days. Having been with him for almost five years, I know that he takes great care of his appearance so I know that he is not doing well.

And I don't know how to feel about it, but I'm trying not to think about it at all because it's only going to hurt me. Whatever has happened cannot be undone, and I have to look out for the future now. Update 2. So Theo and his lawyer finally responded to her petition and surprisingly, they are not only contesting my demand for full custody of our child, but they are also contesting the divorce itself as well. I will be honest, I definitely expected him to contest the custody, but I really didn't think there was any reason for him to contest the divorce. After all, I thought that that's what both of us wanted. He had started to fall out of love with me and had even claimed that if Natasha tried to start

something with him, he would be open to it. Obviously that meant that he was no longer interested in being with me anymore, and after being betrayed like this, I was not feeling very inclined to continue our marriage either. So if neither of us wanted to be with each other, that obviously meant that the only way out was getting a divorce. I thought it was a relatively straightforward solution, but I don't think that's what he wants. I know that he's not doing this because, he's still in love with me, he's definitely doing this because he wants it to be easier to get custody of his child. It was probably his families because if he had still been in love with me, he would have at least tried to contact me or to apologize. I'm not saying that I would have

accepted or I would have gone back to him, but that's literally the least that he could have done. And honestly, contesting the divorce is just going to be a waste of both our time because I don't think there is any court in the world that is going to be able to force me to stay with him, and I don't think that's how it works either. All it is going to achieve is just making the process of getting a divorce longer and more expensive, and I don't know what he's hoping to gain from that, but I can assure everyone that it's not going to work. I've already spoken to my lawyer,

and he thinks that the most that he can get out of this is a couple of mediation sessions and maybe couples counseling at most, but if I stand my ground and make it clear that I don't want to go back to him, then we will have to be granted the divorce. And to top it off, I also have proof of him wanting to cheat on me, so I don't know what he's been thinking. Anyway, they had taken me by surprise, but I'm prepared to fight now, both for getting the divorce that I want and also for full custody of my child.

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out in my favor and I don't care how long it takes, but I'm definitely going to try my best to make sure that it does. Update 3, so it's been almost one month since I left home and we have already started our mediation sessions. We have a court-appointed mediator and we are going to first try to sort things out here and in case it doesn't work out, which I'm trying to ensure it doesn't, we are going to head to family court. In my honest opinion, I think that's the only way to deal with this

because mediation is just a waste of time. Mediation is for people who think they have a shot at coming to a common ground and avoiding court, but I really don't think that is going to work out for me and Theo. It's very obvious that we want very different things, like he wants to cheat on me and I want a happy and healthy marriage. See, it just doesn't work out because we are so different. Anyway, things have been hard because I've had to see him in person a couple of times now and it's difficult for me because the pregnancy has been messing up my hormones and every time that I see him or think about him, I just feel like breaking down. So it's been very difficult for me to hold myself together, especially when I have to sit through the mediation sessions

and stare at his stupid face. I've tried my best to keep my cool because that's what my lawyer has advised me and that's what I've been sticking to. He would try to avoid even looking at me. He would try to avoid even looking at me during the first couple of sessions and that suited me just fine but recently, he had started trying to at least talk to me, but then we had to terminate those sessions early because I didn't want him to address immediately and I only wanted him to speak to me through my lawyer. The last time that we had a mediation session, a couple of days ago, he kept quiet throughout the session, and yet another day was wasted, but while I was leaving, he stopped me in my tracks and told me that he wanted to speak to me in person. I tried to dodge him and leave,

but he just kept standing in my way and told me that he just wanted to apologize for everything and that he really didn't want things to end this way. It was just exasperating, so I told him that if he really was apologetic for everything, then he could show me that he was sorry by accepting my terms of the divorce and the custody arrangement and leaving me alone. That's the only way that I would accept his apology and if he wasn't ready to do that, then he should at least just let this go to court instead of wasting my time and money. Then, I pushed him aside and I went back to my car and I made sure to mention what just happened to my lawyer as well. A few days have passed since then and today, my lawyer told me that he had received an email from Theo, saying that

he was ready to accept the terms of the divorce, but he wanted partial custody of our child when our baby was born. So now, I'm going to have to think about what I want and decide if that's a deal worth my time or not. But I'm glad that at least he has put this option on the table because I'm sick of fighting. I just want to be done with this. So who knows, maybe this is a good thing. Update 4, hi, it's been a few weeks since I last posted and I've been quite busy since I've gotten along and there were a few complications regarding the pregnancy but they're all sorted out now. Anyway, my lawyer and I decided that we were going to agree to his terms. He gets partial custody and we go through with the divorce. So that's why we have decided and we have communicated

to his lawyer as well. So all that's left is for the divorce to be finalized and all the paperwork to be done. Then, we stick to the arrangement that we have decided. It's a fair enough deal and honestly, I just wanted everything to be over. He reached out to me shortly after my lawyer contacted him and told him that I was willing to agree to his terms and send me an email, thanking me for everything. Once again, he apologized for putting me through all of this, but that doesn't really mean anything to me anymore. I'm just glad that I can move on with my life now and I don't have to have anything to do with him anymore. It's going to hurt, but I'm strong enough, I can deal with it. And I have my parents and my

friends by my side, so I'll be fine. Update 5, hi. So it's been a little over six months since I last posted an update here and it's about time that I fill you guys in on what's been going on. Last week, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, and my life has suddenly become all about her now and I couldn't be happier about it. Theo really stepped up as a father and tried to be there for me as much as he could, and since we were going to have to stick to a co-parenting agreement, we tried to be civil to each other. We don't talk about anything apart from our daughter and that's fine with me. I have started my healing process and I'm trying to move on from him.

I think I'm almost there, to be honest, because nowadays, when I see him, I don't have really feel anything. From what I know, he has started dating Natasha, probably after the divorce was finalized, good for him, I guess. Right now, dating is off the table for me, I just want to be a good mother to my daughter and I'm completely devoted to that one job. Theo and I are still trying to figure out a way to make sure that both of us get equal time with her, but until then, is going to have to keep visiting me at my parents' place if he wants to see his daughter. My parents have been kind enough to open up their home to him and his family, and his family because all of them want to see her and we are all trying to keep it civil, for her sake.

Hopefully, someday in the future, things will be okay, but for now, this is good enough for me. I hope you enjoy this story. I won a language competition and my birth parent came across me via a publication but mentioned I was only for resolution. Many years afterward, her children learned of my existence, and when we met for dinner, my biological parents called me a liar in front of them. My bio-parents were college sweethearts. My mother got pregnant with me accidentally. Neither of them was ready to be parents, and they didn't know what to do.

So they talked with their families and decided to give me up for adoption. That is how I ended up in foster care. Living in foster care was incredibly tough. I had no real family of my own, no one to turn to or lean on, and it felt like I was constantly alone. It wasn't just the lack of a family that made it so hard, but also the bullying I experienced. I was always picked on by older kids, who seemed to target me for being shy and different. I wasn't the kind of kid who could stand up for myself easily, and being more introverted made me a perfect target for them. They would mock me for being nerdy, for not fitting in,

and for being so quiet. For many years, I had no idea where I came from, who my real parents were, what my story was. I didn't know anything about my birth parents or why they chose to give me up. That part of my life felt like a mystery that no one ever spoke about. Eventually, I was adopted by a family, and at first, it seemed like things might finally get better. I was excited, hopeful, and thought this new family would be my chance to start fresh. But quickly, I realized this new life wasn't as good as I had hoped. The family who adopted me seemed more interested in the money they would receive for taking care of me than actually caring for me. They treated me as if I were just another responsibility to be handled. I was made to sleep in a

small, crowded room with several other kids they had also adopted. We were all crammed into the same space with no room for privacy, and it felt suffocating. It was hard to feel like a part of the family when I was treated this way. The only thing that kept me going was school. It was the one place where I could focus on my studies and try to build a future for myself, even though everything else in my life felt so difficult. At least in school, I had a chance to escape for a little while and dream of something better. When I was in high school, something amazing happened that I'll never forget. I won the school spelling B, and it felt like one of the biggest achievements of my life at that point. I was so proud of myself, and I still remember that feeling of joy and

accomplishment. To make it even more special, my name, photo, and the name of my school were published in the local newspaper. It was the kind of recognition I had never imagined I'd receive, and it made me feel like I was finally getting the attention and acknowledgement I deserved. But little did I know, that moment would end up being a turning point in my life in a way I never expected. It turns out that the newspaper article was how my biological mother found out about me. I never knew this, but after giving me up for adoption, she had always been curious about me. She had tried to find me before, but for years, she didn't have any luck. However, after seeing the newspaper and seeing my name, she finally had the lead she had been

hoping for. It was like a twist of fate that allowed her to reach out to me. She took the first step by contacting my school, somehow finding my address through their records, and sent me a letter. To this day, I'm not sure. sure how or why my school gave her that information, but they did, and that's how she was able to get in touch with me. The letter she sent was completely unexpected and overwhelming. She called herself my bio-mom and asked me to reach out to her. I had to read the letter thrice.

The words on that paper felt surreal, and I was in complete shock. I had never, ever imagined that the woman who gave me up for adoption would finally reach out to me through a letter, of all things. but what really got to me were the pictures she included with the letter. There were photos of her and my biological dad, both of them looking so happy and in love. In those photos, they seemed like they had everything together, and I could almost feel their joy radiating through the images. Looking at them, I could see a bit of myself in my mother's smile and features.

It was an odd feeling to recognize that connection and realize how much I resembled her. My heart ached as I saw the pictures and finally got her. a glimpse of who my mother was, someone I had only wondered about my entire life. After thinking it over for a few days, I decided to write back to my biological mother. I had so many questions, especially after the shock of receiving her letter. I wanted to understand why she gave me up for adoption all those years ago. In her reply, she explained that she was young and naive and wasn't prepared to take care of me. She wrote how she had made that choice because she felt unready for the responsibility

of motherhood, and that she regretted what she did. I also asked her why she was reaching out to me after all this time. Why now, after so many years of silence? In her next letter, she told me that she had always thought about me and had been curious about how I was doing and where I was living. She said she had never forgotten me and had wondered how I turned out. Her words seemed sincere, but there was something in the back of my mind that felt uneasy about it. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate her reaching out, but I was still unsure about her. After weeks of exchanging letters, things took another unexpected turn. My biological mother asked if she and my biological dad could meet me in person. I was taken aback. Why would they want to meet me after all these years?

What would we even talk about? I wasn't sure I was ready for that kind of meeting. Part of me wanted to decline because it felt so overwhelming, but she kept insisting that it would only be one meeting and that it wouldn't hurt to meet and talk. After a lot of hesitation, I nervously agreed, thinking maybe it would help me understand more about my past and my birth parents. Looking back, I really wish I hadn't agreed to meet them. The day I met my biological parents turned out to be one of the most awkward and uncomfortable experiences of my life. From the moment I arrived, everything felt off. Neither of them seemed comfortable around me. They didn't even greet me properly, no hugs, no handshake nothing that would make me feel like I was truly part of

their lives. My biological dad barely looked at me, and he didn't say a word the whole time. It was like he was there physically but emotionally absent. My mother, on the other hand, seemed nervous and kept talking about random things from their life, as if trying to fill the silence with something, anything. At one point during the conversation, she casually mentioned that they were trying to have another child now that they were married. My mind couldn't make sense of what she was saying. Trying to get pregnant? You mean have a kid?

Like, hello, I am your kid, I thought. Here they were, talking about starting a family by having another child, while I was sitting there, trying to piece together my own place in their lives. My heart was pounding, and my breath almost stopped. I couldn't just sit there quietly anymore. I had to ask them. So, I gathered all the courage I, I could and blurted out, are you ever going to adopt me? Do you not want me back? I needed answers.

Hearing this, my biological parents froze. My dad, who had barely said a word until that moment, looked sideways at my mom, and I could see him scoff, almost like he was annoyed by the question. My mom, however, awkwardly tried to explain herself. She said that they just wanted to meet me, to see that I was okay. She admitted that they had always felt somewhat guilty about abandoning me. But when I asked about adoption, she went quiet for a moment before explaining that it wasn't possible for them to adopt me. She said there was no way they could bring me into their lives again without everyone finding out that she had gotten pregnant with me back when she was so young. She had kept the whole thing a secret from almost everyone, even from my biological dad's family.

She didn't want anyone to know the truth and my resemblance to her was a dead giveaway. Then, my biological mom said something that made my stomach drop. She told me that she and my dad had decided to start afresh with new kids. The meeting, she said, was for me to get closure so I would not have any questions about them in the future. When I heard that, it was like everything inside me just collapsed. I felt my chest tighten and tears started to well up in my eyes. It was clear now nothing I had hoped for was going to happen.

They didn't want me. They never wanted me. The truth was that they were more interested in having a fresh start with new children, while I was just a part of their past that they didn't want to deal with. I couldn't look her in the eye anymore. It hurt too much. I was just a reminder to them of something they wanted to forget. I wasn't wanted.

I wasn't important to them. I felt like nothing. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. They were fine with having new children, but they couldn't even consider the idea of bringing me back into their lives. I was just a mistake they wanted to erase, a part of their history they wished never happened. In that moment, I felt more abandoned than I ever had before.

I was a bit pissed at them, so I told them outright that it was cruel of them to want to get in touch with me after all this time only for them to justify never taking me back. I mean, my life is hard but I was trying to do things. fine on my own. However, now they had broken me down even more. I didn't want to talk to them anymore. I didn't want them playing with my emotions, getting my hopes up, and then letting me down again. I looked straight at my biological mom and told her that she could continue living her life however she wanted, but it wasn't my job to make her feel better or lessen her guilt.

I had been through so much already in foster care, and I didn't want them to make it harder for me by trying to stay in touch. I made it clear that I would rather never know them than know them and still be rejected. I could see my biological dad's face turned red with embarrassment, and my mom looked like she was on the verge of crying. But honestly, at that moment, I didn't feel bad for them. I just couldn't handle it anymore. Without saying another word, I got up and left them there. I didn't care how they felt. All that mattered was that I needed to protect myself from the hurt. After that day, I stopped all communications with my mom and hoped she would just disappear. I wanted nothing to do with her, with them. The whole experience left me broken, and I cried for

days. It was a painful reminder that the family I always longed for was something I might never have. It took me a lot of therapy to even begin to come to terms with that reality to understand that I might never have the kind of family I had dreamed about. It was a long, tough process, but over the years, I've learned to accept that part of my life. Thankfully, I have a wonderful partner now who truly understands my upbringing. He loves me for who I am, and that's something I never thought I would experience. I've never felt the need to reach out to my biological parents again, nor have I wondered about them all these years. I've come to realize that family is not just about blood, it's about the people who show up for you,

who love you unconditionally, and for me, my partner and my friends are the ones who are the ones who who are here now, not the ones who abandoned me. Recently, I received an email from someone named Kylie who claimed to be my sister. In the email, she explained how she had recently discovered that I existed. Apparently, she had been going through some old pregnancy photos of my bio-mom and found one of me when she had given birth to me at the hospital before abandoning me. That was when Kylie and her brother confronted my bio-parents and managed to get the truth about me. My sister wrote that she then searched for me on LinkedIn and that is how she could reach out to me. She said she'd always wanted a sister and would love to get to know me,

adding that I could take my time to think about it. Reading that email, I was left completely stunned. I felt like a child all over again, who had gone through sleepless nights after meeting my bio parents that one time. I had worked so hard to move on from them but now with email, it felt like I was being pulled back into a situation I didn't want to be a part of. I was still reeling from her email when, two days later, my bio-mom reached out to me also. She had apparently gotten my email address from her daughter, and in her message, she invited me to dinner at their place. She said her adult children had a lot of questions for me, and she really wanted me to come and meet all of them. She even wrote that my bio dad would

behave better this time, as if she was acknowledging the awkwardness of our last meeting when he had barely said a word to me and refused to interact. At this point, I was starting to get pissed. Why were they suddenly so interested in me now, after all these years? What was there even left to question? They had abandoned me. Do they want me to sit down with them and share my sob story? Do they want to hear about how I grew up in foster care, how I was bullied, and how I faced all kinds of trauma as a minor? Did they want to listen, or did they just want to feel sorry for me so they could look good in front of their new family? It felt like they were just trying to act concerned, like they wanted to prove something to themselves or their children, when I am sure in reality

they don't truly care. Their sudden interest in me feels like a lie, and I am not sure if I want to be a part of it. At this point I'm turning to Reddit just to be sure. Ida, if I declined their dinner invitation? Or should I give them a second chance? Update 1, thank you all so much for your kind words and for sharing your thoughts with me. It's been helpful to hear everyone's perspectives, even though I can see that there are a lot of mixed feelings about what I should do next. Some of you are advising me to block my bio family and move on with my life, saying it's better to cut ties and not look back. On the other hand, some of you seem to think that maybe there's a deeper reason behind why they're reaching out to me

now, like there's something I don't understand yet. To be honest, I'm starting to wonder about that too. Just last night, my biological mom sent me another email. She asked if I was going to accept her dinner invitation for the upcoming weekend, and she even asked me what my favorite food is so she can cook it for me. At first, I didn't know what to make of it. It felt a bit unnerving, to be honest. She's asking me such thoughtful questions, but it feels strange because she's been a complete stranger to me my entire life. I've never had a relationship with her, and now, out of nowhere, she's acting like she cares about all these little details what I like to eat, when I can come over, and so on. It's confusing because part of me wants to believe that maybe,

after all these years, she's genuinely trying to make up for lost time, to build a connection, but another part of me can't help but wonder if it's all a little too late. Why now? Why is she asking about my favorite food after all this time of silence? I just have a gut feeling about this. There's something almost uncomfortable about the sudden shift in her behavior. I'm still torn between wanting to give my bio family a chance and feeling cautious, unsure of what their true intentions might be. It's a tough situation, and I really need some time to think about it. Update 2, it's been a while since I last updated. After much back and forth, and honestly a lot of internal struggle, I finally decided to meet up with my bio parents and their kids, Kylie and Matt.

It felt like I had to go through with it, just to see if there was any truth to the idea that they wanted to rebuild some kind of connection. Maybe I could finally understand what they were really after and, in some strange way, I thought it might help me find some closure. The meeting was a disaster from start to finish. From the moment I walked into their house, my bio parents acted overly nice, almost like they were trying too hard to show how concerned they were. It was obvious they wanted to appear like the picture-perfect parents in front of their

adult kids, almost as if they were trying to erase the past and prove they weren't the villains who had abandoned me. Their behavior felt so rehearsed, so calculated, as if they were putting on a show for their children, trying to get a clean shit from them. I could tell they didn't want to be seen as bad parents, especially not in front of their kids. This time even Bio-dad asked me a lot of questions about my life and seemed overly enthusiastic to get to know me. Since Kylie and her brother were asking me a lot of questions about my life in foster care, I decided to be completely open and honest with them just like they had wanted me to be, to share the painful truth about how awful my childhood had been.

I told them about the abuse, the bullying, the isolation, I opened up about all the things I had faced, all the things I had endured growing up without a family, without anyone who cared. It was hard to open up, but I felt like if I was ever going to have any kind of conversation with them, it had to be real. While both Kylie and her brother looked at me with surprise and concern, my bio-parents, instead of showing any empathy, immediately tried to downplay everything I said. They almost brushed it off, as if it wasn't as bad as I was making it sound. They said things like, it probably wasn't that bad, and suggested that maybe I was just

trying to gain sympathy by exaggerating my experiences. That stung deeply. I was laying bare my soul, sharing some of the darkest moments of my life, and they dismissed it like it was nothing. It felt like they were minimizing everything I had been through just to make themselves feel better. Thankfully, Kylie and Matt understood what I had gone through. They had more sympathy for me than my bio-parents. They seemed pissed that their parents were even trying to interrupt me and downplay my feelings. I could see the guilt in their eyes, the shock that my bio-parents had kept all of this hidden from them. I am sure that they were. I am sure that they were. I am sure that they were they also felt bad that while both of them had a great life with my bio parents, I had been

abandoned to be on my own all this time. It wasn't like I was trying to make them feel sorry for me, but hearing the truth seemed to hit them hard. Kylie had tears in her eyes as she hugged me and she and her brother turned on their parents and kept asking them how they could be so cruel enough to abandon their own child. Her brother also kept telling me how he would have loved to have two older sisters growing up instead of just one and it kind of broke my heart hearing that. This was the first time anyone had really shown any emotion about what had happened to me, and it made me feel truly seen. But in the end, despite everything, my bio parents still turned things around on me. They started accusing me of making up stories to try and turn their children

against them. My bio dad called me jealous and full of hate. His words felt like a slap in the face. After everything I had said, after all the pain I had shared, they were now acting like I was the problem. My bio-mom also kept saying how although she still felt guilty about giving me up, I should at least talk about the good things in my life instead of only focusing on the bad. It was like they were trying to distance themselves from the truth by labeling me as angry and resentful, as if my emotions were some kind of attack on them. My bio parents just couldn't see that all I wanted was acknowledgement, maybe even an apology, for what they had done. But instead, I was being blamed for how they'd made me feel. They didn't even care about understanding my

pain. All they cared about was protecting themselves and avoiding the guilt of their past choices. They couldn't take any responsibility for the hurt they had caused, and instead, they were trying to flip the narrative to make me out to be the villain. I could feel the heat rising in my chest, the burning frustration, and I finally snapped. You know what? This is enough, I said, my voice shaking with anger. I've shared my truth with you. I've told you what you've put me through, how your actions affected me for years. And yet, all you've done is try to twist it, make me the bad guy. You don't want to hear the truth, do you? You never wanted to face what you did to me, and now you're acting like I'm the one who's broken. Well, I'm done. I'm done with this. I'm done with you.

Don't contact me again. I don't need you, and I don't need you, and I'm I don't want you in my life. I've been better off without both of you, and I intend to stay that way. As the words left my mouth, I could see the shock on their faces. Kylie and her brother looked pissed at their parents. They requested me to stay a bit longer, but I didn't want to anymore. I left that meeting feeling more confused and hurt than ever before. It felt like I had been dragged into my bioparent's world again just to be dismissed and blamed,

all while they tried to make themselves look like the good guys in front of their new family. The whole thing was a complete disaster. Update 3, it has been a few weeks since that painful meeting with my bioparent, and I honestly thought I was done with everything. I had said my peace, walked away, and moved on, or at least I had been trying to. But just when I thought everything had settled, I received messages from Kylie and Matt. After everything that had happened, I didn't expect to hear from them again, especially given how messy things had gotten.

but when I opened their messages, I could feel the weight of what they were saying. They both apologized on behalf of their parents. Kylie and Matt both admitted that they had been horrified when they heard what I had gone through in foster care, and how their parents had downplayed it. They had written how ashamed they were of their parents. They had never expected to see such cruelty and dismissal. They wrote that after I left, my biopparents continued to refuse to acknowledge the depth of the pain they had caused. They tried to minimize everything, as if I was the one who was wrong to even tell them anything.

At one point, my bio-dad even said how he felt no remorse about abandoning me. Kylie and her brother said that hearing the truth from me and seeing their parents' reactions had changed something inside them they could no longer look at their parents in the same way. They now saw them in a new light, one that made them question everything they had once believed about their family. Kylie and her brother have both offered to meet up with me or help me in any way they can. They want to be there for me, to make up for what their parents have done to me. I think they both feel a lot more guilty than my bio-parents ever have.

Honestly, I have never wanted anything from them. All I wanted was acknowledgement and that's it. I didn't want them to feel like they needed to fix things for me, or that they could somehow make up for the damage their parents had caused. I appreciated their support, but I knew that I had to make it clear where I stood. So, I told them the truth. I explained that I didn't want to pursue a relationship with them. They had reached out wanting to know more about me and I had given them that wish, but that was it.

I also wrote that while my time in foster care had been hell an unrelenting nightmare that I had lived through and survived it was behind me now. I had rebuilt my life, piece by piece, with my own hands. I told them that while I understood their anger toward their parents, I didn't want to jeopardize the relationships they had with them. They had their own lives to live, and I didn't want to. want to be the one who caused a rift between them and their parents. I'm fine now, I wrote. I've made it through the worst of it. I don't need anything from any of you,

and I don't want to cause any more conflict in your family. You can continue to live your lives with your parents, and I'll live mine. All the best to you and your family. Kylie and her brother did send me a few more replies, urging me to at least have a relationship with them and I could see that they were struggling to accept what I had said, but I made it clear that my decision wasn't about rejecting them. It was about protecting the peace they had with their parents.

I didn't want to be the source of any more pain, not for them and not for myself. My bio-parents would never accept me or acknowledge my pain. So, I wasn't going to let the past keep haunting me, and keep dragging me down. All I wanted to do was to heal and protect my peace. I was stronger for having gone through everything I had, and I didn't need anyone to fix that. wasn't angry anymore, and I wasn't looking for apologies or resolutions that would never come. The conversation with Kylie and her brother ended with a sense of finality. I could tell they were disappointed, but they understood and didn't argue further. I hope you enjoy this story.

Discovered my spouse being unfaithful with another man through tracking technology and communication logs, and now they are committed to experiencing the lifestyle I once shared with my former acquaintances. Just have to vent as writing here is more cathartic than talking to a therapist. My ex and I used to live in an upscale part of SoCal that has its fair share of wannabe real housewives or even step-forward wives. I generally avoided the type however my ex met some women through a charity auction and she started spending a lot more time with them. I couldn't stand them due to their greed and vanity but I tried to play the role of dutiful husband and to make her happy, I started integrating myself into the group of husbands married to these trolleps.

I found two or three of them were guys with whom I had something in common and we would have fun telling stories about our younger days over a cocktail or a barbecue. We ended up going on a number of trips to Europe, Hawaii, and Mexico with some of these couples before COVID. Sometimes we would stay local and rent out a block of rooms at a beach hotel for an easy staycation. Once some of the restrictions were lifted during COVID, we immediately booked a block of rooms at this hotel and celebrated our freedom. We had such a great time that we promised each other that we would go back annually and revisit that memory, which we did twice more. Two years ago my ex had a

midlife crisis and decided to buy a classic car that she'd always wanted growing up. It barely ran, but she joined a car club where the car owners would meet on Saturday mornings for coffee than they would drive their cars in a parade to a different location. Since I'm not a car guy and didn't want to spend my weekends talking to mechanics figuring out how to keep an old car running, I told her that it was a hobby that we weren't going to share. I knew it was just going to be a money pit that made no sense to me, especially since our kids were about to head off to college, but I didn't draw a line in the sand as it was her dream car so I supported the dream. Unfortunately, she went ahead and bought the car then started plowing thousands of dollars in upgrades and maintenance into

the car to keep it running. I saw the bills and paid them, but she told me that she was getting great deals on parts and labor due to referrals from her car club. Especially one guy, we will call him Carlos, that she said adopted her into the club. After a few months of car club weekends I realized that she was arriving home later and later on her Saturdays while her phone behavior also changed. Up until that point we had an open phone policy but one day I tried to take a phone with her phone but she had changed her password. Her excuse was that another of the wives was having problems with her husband and my ex was providing confidential advice that my ex didn't want me seeing in case I talked to him. Her behavior also changed with me where she

became irritable with everything I did and would passively aggressively compare me to the other husbands, especially if they were having a better year financially than myself as their businesses were less impacted by COVID than mine. We had been through down cycles in our relationship before, we had both cheated early in our marriage but with counseling had worked through it and had forgiven each other 20 years before, but the combination red flags were next level. I decided to start snooping. The next Friday night I planted a GPS tracker on her car. Next morning after she left for Car Club I logged into our family plan and started looking at her phone and text activity. Lo and behold there was a new phone number that was spiking activity.

I paid for a name lookup service and found Carlos' full name and home address. I had some lunch then watched the GPS on her car drive to Carlos house where she spent the afternoon fucking her new boyfriend. I debated about confronting her when she got home but instead I played sick and moved into a different bedroom, noting I didn't want to infect her with my virus. She shrugged and didn't say a word, which said volumes. I started separating money and went full gray rocker for the last few months, opting to wait for our last child to leave the nest for college. She did come into my room a few times for sakes. For some reason I decided that I was only going to have anal with her thereafter, probably because anal wasn't her favorite, but she would usually orgasm more intensely from the

experience so she never complained. Aftercare was always awkward as she would usually just get up and head back to her room, probably enjoying the thrill of having come in various orifices from her husband and her boyfriend. Once our last child was settled into his dorm at college and we got back home, I sat her down and told her I knew she had a boyfriend and that I would be filing for divorce. She was in shock and denied it, but I just gave her Carlos address and the GPS log of time spent at that location and her face went pale. She stammered and explained that she would park at his house and then they would walk to a coffee shop a mile away for exercise.

I told her to stop making excuses and to just own up to it, but instead she decided to blame me. She turned the tables on me and started telling me that if she did cheat, then she had a good reason to cheat because I wasn't as good as a provider as the other husbands in the group and that if we divorced, all of the women in the group would force their husbands to ghost me, leaving me friendless. I called her bluff, believing that some of the guys actually had balls and would be there for me. Later that day I moved out and then filed for divorce the following week.

I settled into my new apartment and reached out to a couple of the guys in the group that I was close to. They were initially sympathetic, but as she predicted, within two weeks I had been completely shut out of my friend group as the men lived in fear of their wives. She bought me out of the house and we settled the divorce relatively quickly. We managed to spend a Christmas together with our kids that first year. I stopped following social media of my former friends as they were dead to me and decided to start rebuilding my life from scratch. I started an exercise and diet routine that transformed me back into my college body while I reconnected with old friends and started making new ones. I have dated a few nice ladies and have had some memorable one-night stands but haven't yet met anyone that I'm going to settle down with any time soon. We split the kids over the holidays this year and it went smoothly.

My eldest son came home from college over Easter break to visit his girlfriend. He spent Easter with my ex, it isn't a big holiday for me, and the next day he told me that my ex had introduced her new boyfriend to him and amazingly enough, it was Carlos. I assumed she had been sneaking around with him due to her wanting to maintain appearances of not being a cheating whore, but I guess she decided that a year was enough to make it official. I wasn't surprised by it but curiosity got the best of me last night because I realized that our annual staycation at the beach was this past week. I logged on to social media last night and found a picture wall from one of the women that hadn't blocked me. Sure enough, the entire group of couples was at the hotel and my ex and Carlos were featured in the middle with her showing off her new engagement ring in the photos. I have done a lot of work over the last two years in processing the end of my relationship, but I have to admit, seeing him living my life with my ex and my friends was a punch in the gut. Not a knockout blow, mind you, but it was enough of a trigger to let me know that I still have a little work left to be done before I've healed completely.

update, ex-wife cheated two years ago, still denies his existence. So I've posted my story about how my ex-wife met a guy through a car club while we were married. She proceeded to have a full affair with him. I figured it out using phone records and GPS in her car and realized she was hiding his existence entirely from me. I waited a few months until the day after we dropped our last child at college then confronted she denied it and I moved out and got divorced. He's younger so I know she's since been losing weight via Ozempic and posting about her wellness journey since I moved out. Have largely been no contact except for divorce and discussions regarding our children. One of our kids had a graduation last week and we had to attend the same ceremony and celebrations.

I vowed to be kind and gray rock her while outwardly posing to be the happy former couple who get along. For some reason we ended up sitting next to each other during the walk-through ceremony and had to be. an hour to kill before the activities started. She started asking personal questions about my life, which I largely evaded. It's important to note that over Easter break she introduced her a fair partner to our children. They told me about him and asked if I knew about him, which I answered yes without providing more information to them. Since we had time to kill, I asked if my ex was happy with her boyfriend. She immediately went into a long denial about their relationship and said he was just a friend. I laughed and pointed out that she had been dating him for more than two years at this

point and if I was him I would be pissed at not being called a boyfriend. She started getting emotional and choked up and said she had a lot of regrets about the choices she made and doesn't like how life turned out. I asked her to be specific about what choices she regretted making but she went quiet. I ended the conversation feeling pity for her. She's been living a lie for so long that she literally has no concept of the truth of our demise nor will she take any responsibility for her role in same. I drove home feeling like a winner for the first time in this whole situation. It gets better. Comments. Environmental C-123. Tell your kids about her affair. They are old enough now. If I was in your shoes, I would just tell them that I need to be

honest with you. This was the reason for the divorce and I am telling you only now because I wanted you not to be negatively affected while you were still living in your home. She is still your mother and I am still your father, but she is no longer the woman I fell in love and got married with. I will always love you and you will always be my top priority in life, but I have to set the record clear in order to move on with my life. Let them decide how to move things forward with your ex-op, this is good. We're doing some time together on a trip in three weeks. Good time to drop that bomb on them. See underscore underscore manufacturer 1536. Soon she will actually regret her actions and try to come back. Stay strong and let her deal with her own fucked up life. Wellman 81, a classic case of

where the cheater finds out the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. Her response to the question about her relationship with the AP is code for the new war off and he's not what I thought he was. And you know what? Tough shit. She deserves every bit of humiliation and disappointment that comes her way. She threw away a marriage over a stupid fantasy and now she regrets it because reality set in. Too bad. Do not under any circumstances take her back after their relationship ends up in the toilet. She chose this sleaze ball over you. She can deal with it. She can deal with it. with it. Now on to the next story. Story two. Caught my girlfriend cheating with my co-worker in our house, so I locked them naked in the basement and had her brother discover them. I had just

returned home from one of my night 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. shifts at the hospital, and my headache slightly due to the long sleepless night I had. I had worked more because a co-worker had called in just in the nick of time to report his unavailability for the night shift and that left us short a pair of hands. I had just one thing on my mind that day, and that was to sleep all day. The only problem with that plan was that I had promised to go with Nora, my girlfriend, to see how her aunt was doing. Her aunt had been diagnosed with cancer and was receiving treatment at home. Norah went to see her most of the time and when necessary, they came to the hospital where I worked. I felt it affected Nora's mental health since that was her favorite aunt, and she was the closest to her aside

from her aunt's visiting maid. So, whenever she requested, I let her have some space. She'd tell me she wanted some nights to herself to clear her head and I would willingly oblige. Sometimes four nights a week. During those moments, we wouldn't call each other's line because what's the point of staying away from each other only to spend time on the phone? Although it really wasn't helping our relationship by shutting down communications, I had no other option. Since Nora's sleep always seemed disturbed by my arrival at a few minutes past six in the morning, I had taken one of the keys to the back door from its bunch which lay on the kitchen counter. This was to let me slip into the house and not disturb her sleep.

For the record, I live in a housing estate, with no fence and all that. Just the lawns around the building and the asphalt roads separate one building from another on all four sides. I parked in the front driveway since my garage and basement were about to undergo construction. As I walked to the back of the building, I was urged to notice that a car had driven right into the lawn behind the house. I wondered how anyone on earth could be so insensitive to veer off the tar driveway right into the grass and even up close to the building. First I inserted the key into the lock and turned but it wouldn't budge. This only indicated that there was another key in the keyhole on the other side. It was strange we hardly ever used the back door.

If there's a key on the other side, it's possible the door is open. I said to myself to my surprise as I pulled the handle the door went wide open. Why would Nora want to take the back door for any reason? I heard myself asking, could there have been a very important? visitor. The only person I knew who might stop by was her brother Drake. He worked with the civil construction firm and he was the one who I contracted to a super cement but Drake wouldn't drive up my backyard, let alone get into Wehouse through the back door. I shook it off my mind and silently closed the door so as not to awaken Nora who definitely would be sleeping by that time.

But I was in for another surprise. By muscle memory, I picked a strong familiar scent in the kitchen. It was the cologne of someone I knew, Frank, my co-worker who had been absent. The sense got stronger as I made my way through to the staircase and eventually upstairs. But it had to be my mind playing a trick on me. It was practically impossible for Frank to be at my house while we were supposed to be at work together. It was impossible. He was a good guy and I knew his girlfriend in fact. He had only been to my house once before and that was ever a year ago.

I also was not sure if he was really close enough to Nora to want to stop by my house. And if there was an emergency, I knew who Nora would call. Yes, they had met a few times when Nora brought her aunt to the hospital, but that was normal. I imagined for the first time in my life that Nora could be cheating on me, but I quickly shook off the thoughts. As I made my way to the bedroom door, all I wanted to do was sneak into bed and have a full day off. but as I got closer, I could hear the water running in the bathroom. Nora was bathing. Nothing too strange, but wasn't it too early for that?

At least for the Nora I knew. I knew she'd be surprised to see me in the bedroom because I had a tradition of buzzing the front doorbell while she trudged her way downstairs, heavy with sleep to get the door. While a part of me wanted to sink into bed and knock it off, I knew I had to first get my scrubbing clothes into the washing machine. I grabbed an extra towel and made for the guest bathroom at the other end of the corridor since the washing machine was there too. But something besides the washing machine got my attention.

It was a pair of boxers which weren't mine. For a moment I freaked out. I never wore that pair of boxers, never. I tried to calm my head and ignore the glaring facts that were staring at me in the face. Nora had finished in the bathroom and must have heard my footsteps walking across the corridor. because soon the bedroom door flew open and she stood with her towel wrapped around her body. Sebastian, she cried, how and when did you come home? Through the chimney, I said, faking a smile but burning with a billion questions inside. Questions that needed immediate answers.

Questions that would save or destroy our relationship. Wait a second, honey, who owns this? I asked casually, raising the boxers for her to see. I noticed her gasp in shock as she struggled to put her thoughts together. This was when I knew I had lost the relationship. I'd never felt the kind of heartbreak I felt in that minute since my life began. Oh, those, she said, er, I guess they belong to Drake. Drake? Yeah, he was here last night to check out the basement and all that.

And I think he must have forgotten it after he had a shower. Oh, that's fine, I said, trying to make the moment easier for her. I quickly turned and got into the bathroom and turned on the shower even before I took off my clothes. Everything was wrong with the answer she had given. Everything. For Drake was much bigger than the slim pair of boxers I held. He also couldn't have come back to inspect the basement because he did that while I was at home during the day yesterday.

And I personally dropped him off before going to work. And finally, the scent of the cologne on that pair of the cologne on that pair of, boxers was strong and unmistakable. Somehow in the midst of it all, I chuckled. Could this have been the reason why he called an absent? Could this have been why Nora was always taking some days and nights off for her alone time? For how long had I been played on? By that time I was done. I decided I was going to walk away from her but not without letting her have her teachable moments. That moment, thankfully, came within the week. A few days of later, I woke up at night with a horrible feeling. My instincts might not always be right,

but that night I knew beyond all doubt that something was wrong. I couldn't tell what it was. I checked the time and it was 4 a.m. I just had this horrible feeling of everything not being all right. Norah was not on the bed and she wasn't in the bathroom either. But her phone was on the pillow. She never went anywhere without it. So, why now? I picked up her phone but it was locked. After serious brainstorming, I figured out the passcode. To say the least, I was baffled by the chat which was left on the screen. It was with the contact saved as Mom. I decided to follow through. My heart raced as I saw firsthand the depth of foolery I was in. I typed out the contact on my phone and before I could complete it, Frank's name came up. I checked

again, and it matched. I got to the bottom of the conversation but could not believe what I saw. I quietly walked downstairs and went towards the basements. Sure enough, as I approached, I could hear coming from the basement quiet moans of Nora and a masculine voice, as well as the accompanying sounds which proved what they were doing. I burned with such anger I'd never felt standing in the shadows of the entrance door, I watched in pain as I was betrayed by the closest people in my life. They were too busy to see me, but their clothes were out the door. Then a thought occurred to me. I quietly shut the door which happened to be the only entrance from inside and locked it. Picking up their clothes, I headed into my room, took a brief shower, and left for work earlier than

normal. I also found Frank's phone in his pants pocket and took it with me to work. Then I called Drake, Nora's brother. Hey. Drake, I said, do you think you and your team could start the job in the basement this morning? Yeah, sure, he said. I was feeling super restless and sure enough, Frank did not report for duty. How could he, he was stuck in my basement. Two hours later I got the call I was anticipating. Nora's brother called me and sounded like he was hyperventilating.

He and his team had found stark naked Nora and Frank in the basement trying to take cover from him and the team behind a beam. I listened silently as he kept going on about what a holy sister was and how embarrassed he was made out to be in front of his team, who were all local men who knew him and his family dearly. I could hear Nora frantically crying out about something in the background. He started apologizing profusely to me and said that he and his guys kicked but naked Frank out into the street. The aftermath was spectacular. But naked Frank was arrested for public flashing as one of my neighbors reported him. He also made it to the local news. My co-workers and I watched him and his naked ars get arrested on breaking news on our TV.

Needless to say, he was indefinitely suspended from work. As for Nora, well, my Bill's good team made sure the word spread around the town like wildfire. The scrutiny was so much, I heard she quit her job and became a shut-in at her parents' place for months to follow. What happened afterward? I have no idea. Maybe she's still living in her parents' basement and screwing dudes secretly. Somehow my coworkers were able to put two and two together and were extremely sympathetic to me, which felt nice. I took a few days off and packed all of Nora's stuff and called Bill to ask her to pick them up.

One day when I returned home, her stuff was gone. She never attempted to contact me ever again. and like that she was gone for my life. And I wish I could say I cared, but I didn't. There was just so much more to look forward to in life. I hope you enjoy this story. Declined to cease sharing my traditions with my children when his birth mother insisted I communicate solely in the English language at my residence, but then I became pregnant and she utterly declined.

Changed. I have been with my 32F, husband, 39M, for about seven years. years. He has a son from a former relationship, 9M, and we didn't even know he even existed until about five years ago when his ex, 40F, contacted him demanding child support. She admits the only reason she even let him know about the kid was because she found out we were engaged and she wanted to reign on his parade. After a lot of back and forward and legal shenanigans we got sort of 50 to 50. First was therapy, visitation, etc., but we are now at 50 to 50. Anyway, I come from Latin America and my stepson is really fascinated by many of the cultural

things and the language. He has met my parents on their last visit, and he is really a lovely, bright and curious kid. He started catching up with some of the words and now we speak Spanish on a daily basis when he is with us. His mom didn't have an issue until he started to ask if he can come to my country next time we visit. We told him we got to discuss it amongst the adults but he is very interested. We got no issue, my family has said that he is more than welcome, I come from blended fam,

and we would of course cover all the costs. She really dislikes the idea, but not because of the travel or anything else, but because she believes we, I, are using money to turn him against her. There are many issues between them already because he thinks she is a liar for not telling him about his dad and yeah, it's hard sometimes. But we talk a lot, s. dot son and I, about having blending families and understanding parents. Anyway, she told me I had to stop encouraging slash sharing the language and the culture in my house when he is with us and speak the home country language or English.

I said no. I have been very passive through the whole thing, since the beginning, but I am exhausted of her demands. I understand she is his mom, but I see no harm on the kids speaking Spanish like a native plus the other two he does and I see no issue with him traveling abroad and having more cultural connections. Hell, I even offered to pay for her to come along with her husband. She says I am a very big snobbish asshole and she is going to see how to keep the kid away from me, not possible. Her husband says I should be more understanding and not step on her toes when the kid already is not her biggest fan. My husband says he just wants the best for the kid and sees no wrong with him

learning and traveling. I would like an outside impartial perspective about it. Update 1, I want to thank all the nice messages, the mean messages, and the realistic messages. Anyway, my stepson is now staying most of the time with us. We had no battle or issue. It is just what we decided after a proper heart-to-heart conversation between moms. When the time comes where there is a possibility to go to my country we will discuss it again, but at the moment it is a yes. The heart-to-heart was a very emotional, complex talk, but I felt it had to happen. She is after all part of my life forever and I want her to know she is the mommy no matter what. I saw a completely different side of her and I know

it is not a magic wand but I have noticed the changes. I am pregnant. I know I should not say so, so early I was already when I made my first post but didn't even know, but we are all so positive and almost on the clear line. Even my S. dot son's mom. Everybody has taken it as a celebration and the only time we had issue was when we talked bedrooms at our flat because my son thought he had to give a super nice one for my true baby section as he called it. But we assured him his bedroom is forever his unless we move. My parents will be arriving in the next months and asked if they can bring extra gifts to my son so it is an easier transition and his mom said yes.

It seems somehow me having a baby has made her realize we are so linked or I don't know. Maybe it was my husband saying he would not allow more disrespect, L.O.L. My parents also asked if it was okay to bring gifts for her kid and she said yes as well. My mom is the happiest person now because she is in full shopping mode, L.O.L. She has been very civil and even nice, and in response she has gained a better relationship with our son. I am convinced he is smart enough to orchestrate all of it. But I have mommy slash baby brain. We have agreed to raise them all as together as possible. Her kids, our kids, our kid, I said I can contribute to the education.

fund for all kids if she allows me. She said yes on the condition they all go to the same school underscore I want my kids in Spanish Kaida. She wants hers in normal Kaida underscore I thought we would have World War II again but her husband told her my kids will speak Spanish no matter what she wants and it is a useful language so all kids in our tribe should speak Spanish and she agreed, I almost fainted. Now we decided to divide care after daycare and quita's pre-kindergarten and I will speak to the kids in Spanish so they are naturals. My son is the happiest because now he feels all his families are in sync and he can just chill and it makes me extremely happy. In addition, she said my son can come with us if he wants but we need to let her know at least a year in advance and she is doing the same with us which I find reasonable.

Update 2. I know no one might see this but I got a couple of messages people found at heartwarming, some not exactly. So, we have little announcements and clarifications. She, son's mom, has always been in therapy. It was determined when this all started back in the day. She was never outright cruel or super mean. It was just that she was not nice to me or my relationship until now that she tries. She gets a say as much as I get a say in education. I know as weird but I was raised in some sort of communal weird experience and we all

excel in our areas. I would never do anything to put distance between my son and his siblings. I am trying to instate that they are his siblings and for the one he already has it's the away. If he doesn't like it, I will drop it, but he seems very receptive to the Mix family. She has issues that have come from other places childhood, family, so on and she is truly trying to be better and not be the person that did things to just ruin an engagement. My son stays mainly with us lately because he wants and that has made his relationship with his mother better. My son is even written in my parents' will, that is how much I love him

so yes. He is my son too. My parents are. are here and will be staying for a while, my in-laws are very careful on their excitement and my parents, with permission, got my son on a little adventure and assured him they love him very, very much and their love is infinite. He feels better now because he said he felt maybe they won't love him anymore because of my real baby. He is in therapy, always has, but now we have addressed it. He made it clear he wants me to still love him like I do and I have assured him I will, I do, I always will. He is going to a solo trip. with his dad and another solo trip with both dads.

My husband and her husband have always got a good relationship and I think it never got better cause of the stuff. My son is involved in the naming of the baby. It is between us three only. The drama portion, my husband wants us to move so we have bigger bedrooms for everybody but I don't feel like it because, you know, pregnancy and adaptation. I want my son to be able to adapt before we start moving. My husband believes I am just cuddling him way too much, but I explained my perspective being from a blended fam as a kid and he backed off. When we look for a place we will be looking for one that we all like. End of drama portion, I am an insomniac and has not changed at all. So here we are, ha-ha, only I drink no more wine anymore, L-O-L. My son's mom is actually giving me

really good tips. We are working in our own wills and so on. Because of the I am developing a fear about the children's futreier. And lastly, my husband is the most patient, caring, loving, goofy man. I know I got little critics saying he should have put it off when the bad stuff happened, but he is very neutral and asked me all the time if I was okay. He always said if I said no he would have changed his tune. We are so, so far from perfect still, we just had a discussion about the type of school my son should go next, a thing in the country, but I am glad it is now a discussion and not an argument. Also, Baby is doing amazing.

Update 3, Hey guys, I like that I can express myself freely here. I know some think our story is weird, others wholesome, others the best. But for us is a sort of dream at the moment. We got a new house. It was picked by the three of us, H.B., son, me, and it is lovely and beautiful and all we want for our kids. I always said I wanted to have just two kids so after this one is born. we will be closed for business. My husband will get a vasectomy

so I don't need to deal with hormones or birth control. I would also like to comment the new house is huge and it has a guest room so my son's brother can stay whenever he wants, they have done so before. Also, my kid turned 10. We are at a weird time but we did a little family gathering

with all six grandparents and all four his parents. He was very happy and enjoyed it with the friends he invited to it. We all coordinated pre-aughtaintinged so we didn't outstidge each other or gave him repeated gifts. I was so happy we could finally do something like this. As per my baby, she is a girl. I told my son and thought it might create issues but he is so excited we have been having

family therapy too just in case but the therapist says the kid is doing amazing and to please don't overthink things. We had a gender reveal party, which I find kind of silly but my son wanted to cause they are very internet famous. It was just family and a couple of friends, when they realized it was a girl they all paused for a second and my son was so excited then they got all excited. I am very, very happy with my family. His trips with his dad and dads went great so we took him on a mommy's trip.

We took a lot of precautions, of course, but we had a blast, as much of a blast as you can have with a pregnant woman in Europe, if you know you know. He deserves it because he is the best kid ever. As for my parents, they are really happy to do this. things for the kid and love being around him. He or anybody other than me don't know about the will or anything, he just loves them because he is nice. My parents are considering staying permanently because they want to be close so it might be another thing coming. My in-laws are helping them find a permanent rental or so and we are just all so excited. As per mom, she has

been more understanding and nice. I understand she was bitter but she truly wants the best for our son and that is our biggest common ground. And yes, she has taken up Spanish via an app, she said she wanted the kids to see us equally, which I've always found ridiculous since she is a nurse and clearly very qualified. We have had many convoes about my parents' involvement, but she is more willing to give space lately. She and her family, which have always been delightful, are now all learning the language as a way to keep it all connected. We have movie night at least twice a week, sometimes as more people than other times. I just want to let people know that it can be better and people are complicated and people can love unconditional. Next story, B.F. always left

me with our daughter to go on bike trips then stole our vacation money to spend at a strip club and got another woman pregnant while we were trying to work things out. My boyfriend and I have a three-year-old daughter together. He used to go away very occasionally by himself before we had her and this has increased quite a lot since she was born. Not for long periods, just a night or two. He also visits his daughter from a previous relationship, which is fine, but I am mentioning as relevant later. He is notoriously bad for informing me when he is going away.

He always claims he told me and I forgot. There have been times where he has arranged to see his daughter on weekends when plans have already been made. These were all pre-COVID. once I had arranged for my mum to babysit for our anniversary and for us to go out. Another time I was meant to be attending a baby shower and needed him to watch our daughter. Another time I had arranged to go to the theater with a friend. His daughter lives quite far away so he wouldn't have made it back in time to watch our daughter.

He was fully aware of all these plans and claim he forgot when arranging to see his daughter. I didn't ask him to cancel as it is not fair on her so I had to make other arrangements in each case. Obviously he has been going away less because of restrictions. As soon as they eased he has been going away. I have never had a night away for our daughter. I had made a couple of plans but each time a lockdown happens so obviously they got cancelled. He says he encourages me to go away and he is not stopping me. I have tried to explain that his going away so much does stop me as someone needs to look after our child.

Not comfortable for either of my parents to watch her yet just in case of any risk. In the summer once restrictions are lifted I have arranged to see my friend for a couple of days. I told him about it and he said I couldn't do it on that date because he was going on a cycle holiday. I told him he hasn't told me anything about this and yet again he claims he did and I forgot. He asked me to cancel it saying I could go to my friends any time. I could rearrange it but feel I shouldn't have too. He could also rearrange camping. So I have been refusing he is now in a sulk. Am I the asshole for not rearranging my plans? I have got a family calendar whence the issues of him double booking seeing his daughter arose.

Problem is he will only write in it if I nag him to do so. Or he will say he will do it later and not to treat him like a child. Comment where op has replied, commenter, what's he like as a partner otherwise? What's he like as a dad to your three-year-old? Oop, he loves our daughter to pieces. but is very much for the fun stuff. He has started helping a bit more. For the last year also he has been helping with part-time and bedtime.

Before that it was just me doing those things. She wakes up regularly in the night. It is always me tending to her. He says it's not his fault he is heavier sleeper. I have had to wake him before when she has been up from 1 a.m. and not settling back down and I have work in the morning so I can get a couple of hours sleep before work. Update 1.

not sure if anyone really wanted an update, but the situation came to a head, so I just wanted to vent. Thank you for everyone who commented. So I had a word with him about the family calendar and people's suggestions about if it's not on the calendar it doesn't exist. Making sure my time away was on there. He seemed to go along with it and said he would reschedule his cycle trip, great I thought, until it came to the morning of the trip. My BF often gets up super early and I roll over and go back to sleep, so thought nothing of it when he was up early. Heard the door go, but just presumed he was taking out the bins or something. When I woke up, couldn't find him and the car had gone. Tried to phone him, no answer. Some of his stuff had gone. Asked my neighbor to check his garage

for my BFS bike, where he keeps it. It had gone. Confused and quietly seething at this point, try his phone a couple more times. Nothing. Phone my friend at this. point saying I can find him and will probably miss my train. About midday I get a phone call. He had gone on his trip. Tells me to check the calendar. He has type-exed out my writing and written in his trip. I say a few choice words to him. He basically says it's my fault as I should have got up earlier. So I told him that he want and he is now free to go on as many cycle trips as he wants now. Friends suggested taking the kids to the seaside. Her son, is a similar age. We spent the next day at the beach and had a nice time. Told BF. not to come back.

He says I'm overreacting but I am done. Edit, he came back on Sunday. Unfortunately can't change locks due to renting. Came back like nothing had really happened. I calmly asked him to leave as our daughter was about. He said he wasn't going anywhere and he will watch her next week so I could go away. I said I couldn't believe he has completely missed the point of what he had done. Called my brother and asked him to pick us up. We have been staying there until I can sort out the practical parts of the split. X is called nonstop and turned up at my brother's house where brother turned him away. He has finally apologized. I said I am still done, I just don't have the energy or the will anymore. Mini update one, I'm back at the flat now with my daughter. X is

staying with a friend who has a spare room. X is helping out with the rent a bit until I can find somewhere more affordable. Last two weeks he has had on a Saturday and he has turned up. He is giving me child support at the moment which we are just doing directly between us. He seems to think he is just giving me space despite the fact that I have told him I am done. My priority for the moment is making sure my daughter is as settled as possible. It has been very difficult for her not having him about as much as she used to. Mini Update 2, still at the flat until the lease is up, X is still at a friend's as far as I know.

He has started seeing someone else and visits with our daughter have become a little bit sporadic. But it's only been a month and he only sees her once a week anyway so, so I will give it a little bit longer and if it keeps messing around I think I may have to go to court I don't want to stop her seeing her dad but also don't want him constantly. Letting her down. Update 2. I, 33F, broke up with my boyfriend, 30. M. of eight years about nine months ago. We have a four-year-old daughter together. He was always leaving on bike rides and overriding any plans I might have had. Last straw was him leaving early in the morning to go on a cycle holiday when I had explicitly said I was going away for the weekend and he needed to care for our daughter. So I left him. We co-parented together well for a while then he started seeing someone and became disinterested in our daughter.

Fast forward to three months ago he started to show interest again and seeing our daughter he was single again. I tried to keep it purely about her, but I gave in. I let myself be sucked in with his crappy promises. I agreed to start dating him again. I will be honest my heart had broken the last six months for my daughter and if I had a chance to make it work I felt I owed it to her. We said we would go on holiday together so we started putting some money in a jar kept in my flat. This weekend he said he would take it to book a holiday and put the rest in himself, was about 300 pounds. Didn't see him after he left the flat, still living separately, so I didn't think anything of it. One of his friends' girlfriends text me this morning and told me they had all been

on a stag due. Her boyfriend had mentioned and my ex was dropping a lot of money in there. I confronted him and he admitted using the holiday money. I just don't know what to do. We are done. Forever done. But I just don't know how I will move past this. Comment where Op has replied, Galician Warrior, I can't believe you actually got back with him. You've been burned time and time again. He only took interest in your daughter after her broke up with the person he was seeing. He is not a good father to her.

That's all you need to know. Oop, I feel like an idiot. He kept saying how irrational it was to leave him in the first place so minor. How my stubbornness was affecting our daughter. Finally came to the realization that I was setting up my daughter for a poor image of how you should be treated. I want better for her. Currently just in contact with his mum and if he wants to see her it will be via her, at least for the time being. Update 3. I, 33F, was with my ex-35M, for about eight years.

We share a daughter together. For some background the last year has been a difficult one. We broke up after he snuck out on a cycling holiday when I was due to go away with a friend. Stupidly started dating him again I had insisted that we go slowly. We were putting away some cash to go on holiday as a family which he ended up taking out of my flat and blowing in a strip club. So we fully ended about two months ago. Now it turns out he's going to be a father again. From what I can gather the woman is past the 12-week mark.

When I was dropping off my daughter for the weekend he mentioned. the pregnancy and whether he could have the baby stuff I had from when our daughter was little, that we were saving for a potential second. I told him he's welcome to take anything that he bought, which is the grand total of a novelty baby grow and a hat. Obviously now I don't need the stuff and I don't know if I'm being petty, but I told him no absolutely not. He hasn't even seemed to acknowledge the fact that he got her pregnant when we were trying to get back together, but that's a battle I just can't get the energy to fight. My ex-mother-in-law has remained pretty neutral and I have a pretty good relationship with her, but she's been putting a bit of pressure on me

to give him the stuff. Update 4. Not sure if anyone will read this, but I wanted to place my thoughts and update anyone who was interested. I found a quite therapeutic posting on Reddit. My ex had a baby boy. Finally got the son he wanted. I ended up giving him the very few items that he bought for our daughter which mainly consisted of novelty hats and novelty baby grows. Unfortunately, he has little to do with our daughter. He has let her down many times since the new baby came. I won't close the door as I want to be able to hold my head high and tell her I never stopped him seeing her even though a big part of me wants to tell him to do one.

It breaks my heart that she gets so excited and he lets her down. I have toyed with going to court to make him fight for visitation. I just don't think he cares enough. On a positive note my daughter is very happy and my brother and his wife are very involved. so she can see what a healthy relationship looks like. I'm uninterested in meeting anyone at the moment, but maybe one day I'll dip my foot back in. I also got a promotion at work so in a much happier place now.

I hope you enjoy this story. Declined to fund my daughter's marriage celebration following her decision to exclude me from escorting her during the ceremony. Unexpectedly, she accepted the financial assistance, called off the wedding, and disappeared from the house. Hi everyone. I'm a 48-year-old father to my 21-year-old daughter Beth. I raised her to think for herself, and I've always admired that about her. We've had a great relationship over the years. She's always confided in me and we've always had open means of communication. However, we recently

had a disagreement. For context, she recently got engaged and told me she doesn't want me to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. First of all, we don't know too much about her fiancé. They started dating about two years ago, but we've always trusted her in whatever decisions she's made. We trust that she's always known what's best for her. Beth tried to tell her mom and I that we don't own her and have no right to give her away. Well, I don't know if this is some new way of thinking that these young folks have nowadays

or where she got this idea that we're giving her away, but I always looked at it as more of a respect thing or that she loved her dear old dad. It hurt me to hear her say all of that because we never viewed or treated her as an object or possession. We only ever wanted to give her the best life possible and in being a part of her wedding like that, it would have been an absolute honor. Her stance feels extreme to me and despite discussions, she refuses to change her mind. I respect her choices, but I feel like she is disregarding our feelings completely. In response, I said that if she truly believes this, then I will not be paying for her wedding. If we don't own her, then she might be of the mind that she can pay for the wedding herself.

I don't want to seem controlling or manipulative. It's true that we do not own her, but I also don't owe her a fully funded wedding. If she insists on this view, then she can pay for the wedding herself. Am I in the wrong? Edit, I just want to clarify that my issue is. is not about wanting attention on myself during the wedding. Simply walking my daughter down the aisle, with all eyes on her, and then sitting down does not make the wedding about me. It's about her attitude towards excluding us from

this important day. As parents, we have given her every opportunity in life and for her to reject our presence that her wedding feels like a slap in the face. It disregards and disrespects everything we have done for her. I have always been a supportive and involved father. I have provided my daughter with love, guidance, and countless opportunities throughout her life. I have always been there for her. Now that she is an adult, I never expected my relationship with her to change in such a drastic way. The fact that she doesn't want me to walk her down the aisle of her wedding feels like a rejection of our whole relationship and all that we have done for her. I understand that she wants to make a statement about not being owned by anyone, but I feel like she is forgetting all the love and support we have.

given her throughout the years. It's not about controlling or owning her. It's about being there for her on one of the most important days of her life. This kind of selfish behavior goes against true independence, which involves being able to think for oneself while still respecting other's thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Wedding traditions and symbolism may have roots in outdated practices, but it doesn't mean we should discard all of them. Walking a daughter down the aisle has long been a symbol of respect, pride, love, and honoring the father-daughter relationship. True independence means finding a balance between asserting individuality and showing respect and consideration for others. And I just want to clarify that our disagreement will not ruin our

relationship. We are still very much close and there is no chance of her not inviting us to her wedding or cutting off contact. I think it's natural for people to have disagreements, but it won't affect our lifelong relationship. Likewise, we would never refuse to attend the wedding or cut her out of our will. We value our relationship more than any differences in opinions. Update 1, well, to all those criticizing me for being the asshole, I have decided to give her just as much money that we gave to her older sister for her wedding. She can spend it however she pleases.

And to those who agree with me, thank you, most of you understand where I'm coming from. After I posted about my disagreement with my daughter about walking her down the aisle, we had a long and heartfelt conversation. I expressed my feelings of hurt and disappointment at the thought of being excluded from such an important moment in her life. My daughter listened to me and understood where I was coming from. She explained that she wanted to break away from the traditional idea of the father giving away the bride because she sees it as outdated and sexist. She also didn't want to feel like a possession being passed from one man, her father, to another, her husband. But she acknowledged that she never considered how this decision would make her parents feel. She suggested finding a compromise where she could still honor our relationship without participating in the traditional giving away aspect.

Well, my daughter called us today and said she wants the money as soon as possible and I ask her if everything is okay. She says yes, but that she needs to pay the remainder of the wedding fees for the hall, the caterer, and the rentals. Well, I said as long as she's okay and she's telling me the truth, I'll e-transfer her the money. She assured me that everything was okay. I feel like she's not telling me something. I'm disheartened by my daughter's behavior. Something felt off.

So I called her sister to ask if she had spoken to her. She said that Beth had asked her to be a witness to their wedding. I said a witness. And she said, yeah, they've decided to go to the Justice of the Peace in the coming weeks. And I said Justice of the Peace. I said I just gave her the cash I had promised her because she said she needed to pay off the hall and rental fees. She said that's really bizarre because Beth told her that she had cancelled everything as they just wanted a very small and private wedding and they had asked her and her husband to be witnesses.

She said Beth told her not to tell her mom and I have the exact date they were wanting to go to the job. I asked why. She said Beth didn't want her mom and I just randomly showing up. I asked her if we did anything to piss off Beth and she said she doesn't know. She said Beth hasn't really told her the details and it was a shock to her that Beth wanted to move the date of the wedding and cancel the big wedding they had originally planned. But then she said between us and her, she thinks Beth is pregnant. but that I shouldn't say anything to her or bring anything like that up to her because she didn't want Beth getting mad at her. She felt like she was walking on thin ice as it was.

I found myself wrestling with conflicting emotions. On one hand, I wanted to respect her choices and support her decision to do things her own way. On the other hand, I couldn't shake off the sense of loss and missed opportunity to share in her joy on her special day. Her mom and I had no idea what we did wrong, and we didn't want to push it either. But what do we do? What should I do? Should I say anything? Could she be in danger? What's with all the secrecy? My daughter means the world to me, and I couldn't bear the thought of not being there for her, even if it meant adjusting my expectations and letting go of certain traditions. But she's always come to me if she's had a problem or issue with anything. I mean, she's always been closer with me than her mother.

I just can't understand why she's not coming to me now unless she feels like she's in danger. I felt this heaviness of unanswered questions. My daughter's abrupt decision to for our financial assistance and opt for a clandestine ceremony at the Justice of the Peace left me reeling. Should I confront her? Or should I respect her wishes for privacy, trusting that she would confide in me when the time was right? It didn't feel right transferring the money, but in fear that she was in some serious trouble, I went ahead and sent the money. I guess the deal was however she pleases.

She texted me and thanked me. My gut is telling me something is wrong. Update 2, I ended up calling her and at first she wouldn't tell me. She actually got mad that I knew about what was happening and I said this has nothing to do with her sister. She ended up telling me that her fiancé needed to be. the money to start up his own business. I was taken aback by my daughter's revelation. Her sudden change in plans and the true reason for needing the money felt like a betrayal. I tried to understand her perspective, but I couldn't shake off the feeling of hurt and disappointment.

The fact that she kept such important details from us made me question our relationship and communication. As a father, I had always been there to offer support, guidance, and assistance whenever my daughters needed it. To be left out of such significant moments in her life without any explanation stung deeply. I struggled with conflicting emotions of wanting to respect her privacy and feeling the need to address the lack of transparency and honesty. But I couldn't hold back.

I asked her why she just didn't tell her mother and I the truth. If they were really in a bind, she should have said something. She said that her husband felt mediocre compared to me. She said that it was her fiancé who didn't want me walking her down the aisle originally. And then that turned into not having a big wedding because he couldn't afford it, but he was just too prideful to accept our money to pay for the large wedding. He felt that he could never give Beth the life that she deserved. Beth's mother and I worked hard to be able to give Beth every opportunity.

We worked smart, we made investments, and it all happened to work out for us. We were well off because we worked for it. It didn't come easy. There was a time in our lives where we had nothing but we tried not to let our daughters go without. I expressed my concerns about her secrecy, the abrupt change in wedding plans, and the financial assistance being used for a different purpose than initially stated. She started crying and she said she was sorry for lying to me. She said that he came up with this idea that if they didn't have the big wedding, they could

still use the cash for starting up a car wash business. She said that he pressured her into still receiving the cash because he knew that I wouldn't be able to say no to my favorite daughter. I remained silent for a moment, trying to process the situation and collect my thoughts. Finally, I spoke up, my voice tinged with a mix of sternness and concern. I told her that I appreciated her honesty now, but I couldn't ignore the fact that she had allowed herself to be swayed by someone who was willing to deceive her own parents for personal gain. I reminded her of the values we had instilled in her since childhood, honesty, integrity, and respect. I expressed my disappointment in her fiancé for putting her in such a difficult position and manipulating her trust. I assured her that my love for her remained unwavering, but I also made it clear that I expected better from her in the future.

She listened quietly, tears streaming down her face as she absorbed my words. After a moment of heavy silence, she finally spoke and apologized profusely for her actions and admitted that she had been blinded by love and the desire to please her fiancé. She confessed that she had allowed his insecurities and pride to cloud her judgment, leading to the deception in secrecy. I told her honestly that if the man she's decided to marry is turning her into someone she doesn't recognize, then maybe he's not the man for her. I urged her to think about what she was doing and what her future might look like if she went through with this. She said she needs to think about things. I told her if she needed to get away for a few days, she's more than welcome to come home. She said she'd let me know in the morning.

Update 3. Last Update 4. Last Update for you. It's been a few months now and Beth has moved back in with us. Despite the initial tension and heartache, having Beth back home felt like a bomb for my worried soul. It was as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my chest, knowing that she was safe under our roof once again. Beth had reflected on the last few months and as her father, I tried to offer her comfort and guidance without pushing too hard. I wanted her to know that she could count on me no matter what, that my love for her was unconditional. Eventually she decided to separate from her fiancé. I mean, I'm just thankful we don't have to deal with the divorce. The only thing is,

that when I transferred the money, she had transferred it into a shared savings account and her ex then proceeded to withdraw that money out of their shared account and we don't know what he's done with it. But he'll hear from my lawyer soon about that. Beth is doing much better and she's back to being that wonderfully intelligent and powerful young woman that I raised. She seems in much better spirits. We haven't heard too much from her ex. He seems to be avoiding the fact that he owes us money. She's also told us that he owes her a significant amount of money as well, so he's been quite silent. It seems like she's just happy to be rid of him and to start a new. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Married a manipulative gold digger who claimed to visit

her dead mom's grave monthly. Turns out she was really sneaking off to cheat with her broke ex the whole time. When my wife and I met, I immediately thought she was the most beautiful person I've ever seen. She was lively and vivacious and she was completely captivating. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her that I wanted her to be my wife. I asked her out and she said yes. We dated for a few weeks and I asked him to be my girlfriend. It was only a few months after that that she moved into my house, and a few months after that we were married. It all happened very fast and a lot of people in my life warned me against it. I have an incredible job and I make six figures a year plus bonuses that I get every quarter. I'm not the wealthiest person on the planet, but a quick Google search will

show my net worth. That made dating hard. It was always difficult to see who wanted me for me, and who wanted me for what I could do for them. When I started dating my wife, she didn't say, seem like she wanted anything for me. She always offered to split the bill when we went out. She got me little gifts every now and then when she could afford it. She never wanted me to buy her expensive things or take her out on fancy excursions. It seemed like she genuinely enjoyed, of course, I wanted to treat her to those things. If there was ever any person that I thought deserved it, it was her. I knew that she worked hard to make the money that she had, and I wanted to take that burden away from her. When we got married, I told her to quit her job. I made more than

enough to provide for both of us and I thought she could focus on creative pursuits that she was more inclined to do. She resisted at first, but eventually, she agreed that it would be good for her. I know now that her resistance and refusal of gifts were all a ploy. I was manipulated from the beginning of the relationship to think she was something that she wasn't. She wanted me for my money, She played it differently than all the other girls. Every month, on the first Saturday, she would be completely unavailable to go on any dates or come visit me. It was like that from the start of our relationship.

I asked her about what she did, and she told me that was the time she dedicated to visiting her mother. Her mother passed away when she was very young. She told me that she had gone to visit her grave every month since she was eight years old to update her mother on her life. I thought it was sweet and I never questioned it. Who would lie about something like that? I worked a lot, so unfortunately I wasn't always home with her.

I was usually gone by the time she woke up, and I came home around 7 or 8 p.m. usually. Whenever I was home, there was nothing suspicious happening. She was a very manipulative person, so she made sure she appeared to be the perfect, loving wife that I thought she was. She went to visit her mother one day and I went on with my day as if everything was normal. I got a call from her in the late afternoon so I answered the phone. But it wasn't her on the other end. It was the hostess at a restaurant in Manhattan. Apparently, my wife left her phone behind and the woman was calling to try and get it back to her.

She told me that her mother's grave was in Long Island, where she was from. She hadn't mentioned anything about going to Manhattan that day, so I was a little curious. The woman on the phone asked me if I was the person that was there with her. She was hoping I could tell her to go get the phone. I told her to keep it behind the counter and I would be going to get it. I had no idea who she was with. She heard a man's voice and assumed that I was the person dining with her at the restaurant. My wife hadn't mentioned anything about going to Manhattan, and especially not

going to Manhattan to see a man. I ended up taking off work early and going to the restaurant that the phone was at. I picked it up and looked through it while I took a cab home. I knew her passcode, but I had never looked through her phone before. I felt like a major invasion of privacy, but given everything that I just learned, I felt like I needed to. I looked through it and I found a conversation with the number saved in her phone as Penny. From everything else I saw, I knew that the name was fake. There were a lot of explicit pictures being sent back and forth and it was definitely a man she was texting. There were messages that went back for years between them. Through the context of everything, it seemed like my wife had been dating this man and fallen

in love with him. Unfortunately for her, he was broke. That's why she broke up with him. She wanted a certain lifestyle and he couldn't provide it for her. Regardless of how she felt about him, She needed to make sure she was provided for. Even though they broke up, they still saw each other once a month and slept together. It was like an agreement of sorts that they had. The man asked about me in the messages too. He asked her if I was pleasing her and if she thought about him while she was with me. She told him that she thought about him all the time, even when she was sleeping with me.

My wife asked him about a woman that will call Lee. He told her that Lee was nothing compared to her. It was clear that they were both cheating on their partners. They had feelings for each other and because my wife ended the relationship, he tried to move on with someone else but couldn't. My wife lied to me and told me she was visiting the grave of her dead mother to cheat on me with this guy. It was honestly unbelievable. She wasn't at home when I arrived, so I tried to prepare myself for when she got back.

I sent myself as many screenshots of their conversations as I could because I was going. going to need them to divorce her. She wanted my money, and I wasn't going to let her have any of it. When she got home, I could tell that she seemed exhausted. She looked disheveled and I could tell that she was just out cheating on me. It was just something you could see on her. She was surprised to see me home and I told her that I got a call from the woman at the restaurant and I showed her the phone. Her face fell immediately, I had no doubt she assumed I looked through it. I asked her was at the restaurant with, giving her a chance to at least tell the truth before I broke the news to her. She told me that it was an old friend that she used to model for when he was painting.

She said that he wanted her to be in a portrait. She threw on a fake smile while she lied to me and tried to stick with what she was saying. I guess she thought I was just that clueless. I told her that I knew everything about the guys she was seeing. I told her that I knew about Lee and how they were both having affairs. and I told her that I knew that she was only with me because of my money. She tried to tell me that none of that was true and that I was wrong about what I interpreted from the messages. There was no interpretation, it was written out in front of me and I read it for what it was.

I gave her a week to get her things out of the house and I told her that we would be getting a divorce. When it came to the divorce, she thought that she was going to take me for half of everything I had. I remember sitting down with her and our divorce attorneys while she gave me a smug look, she thought she won. We signed a prenuptial agreement, yes. According to that if we ended the marriage she would be entitled to assets. Unfortunately for her, she cheated on me so the prenuptial agreement was voided. She didn't get a dime from me.

She had no money and savings and no job. I kicked her out of the house and she was forced to go live with her father. I almost didn't want to tell Lee about their affair because I figured they would likely break up and they could give my wife somewhere to go. However, I decided it was the right thing to do. I found out who she was and I reached out to her and explained everything, showing her some of the screenshots that I had. She was completely shocked. She reached out to me a couple of weeks after I told her everything and thanked me. She hadn't even considered her boyfriend would cheat on her and they were getting to a very serious stage.

in the relationship. She was glad somebody showed her his true colors before she made that big step. I've been wary of people's intentions with me for a very long time. Unfortunately, I feel like I've been manipulated in this past relationship and I am somewhat closed off to them now. Honestly, I would have rather dated somebody who was upfront about their motives from the beginning rather than somebody who lied to me and made me believe they were someone else. I hope you enjoy this story. discovered my spouse's closest companion engaging in infidelity with our shared acquaintance at a soccer match, only to realize that my spouse was accepting of the situation and was also engaging in

deceitful behavior. Days ago I went out to a hockey game with a friend of mine, I'll call her Janelle, and my boyfriend's friend, I'll call him Scott. Originally my boyfriend was supposed to come with but he ended up getting called into work to cover a night shift. So last minute my BF asked Scott if he wanted to take his place, to which he said yes. We've all gone out together before. Janelle knows of Scott, but we haven't actually all spent time together, just the three or four of us. It's always been in bigger group settings or with just my BF and I and Scott and his wife or

my BF and I and Janelle and her husband. Remember that. Scott and Janelle are both married and they aren't married to each other. This is important. So we go out for dinner before the hockey game to get some wings and a few beers because the beers at the arena are insanely expensive. We get a little wobbly and get to the game and I notice Scott and Janelle kind of getting a little close, she's laughing a little more than usual, he's getting a little more handsy,

but she's not pushing him away. I mean, Scott is funny, but he's not that funny. So I'm trying to enjoy the game and sort of ignore whatever it is they think they're doing. Then Scott and Janelle say like, hey, we should go out for drinks after and I'm like I, I don't really want to at this point because I've had a long work week but I honestly don't really trust them alone together. I just have this gross feeling. So I feel pressure to say yes. Janelle's like, don't worry, we'll just go for one and head home. And I'm like okay, one I can do. So we go to this bar across the street from the arena after the game. But instead of one, they both

go on to have about four or five more. I'm really pissed off at this point because I'm tired and practically sober and literally the third wheel. They are so into each other it's disgusting and I'm getting an Uber ready to pick me up because I want no part of this. I also try to ask them about their partners and their kids any chance I can get like, oh, how so and so doing, or it was so and so's birthday just last month, what did you get up to? But they weren't taking the bites. At this point, I'm also texting my husband everything that I'm seeing, but because of the work he does, he doesn't have access to his phone until a certain period during a shift. So I know he's not going to respond right away. So the Uber comes and I'm like,

hey guys, I'm out of there. And they're like, oh, can we just catch a ride and then we'll pay the difference and I'm like, yeah, whatever. So they get in the back seat of the Uber and I'm in the front. We're on the way to my house and I go to look back and they are making out hard with each other. Like hard. The Uber gets to my house and I just leave without even saying goodbye to them. I go inside and I'm trying to sleep but I literally can't stop thinking about their families. I thought I knew Janelle. We've been friends since our first year in university.

I've been to both of their weddings and I've held both of their little babies in my hands. I got her a job with my dad at his company and she's the graphic designer there. I cannot believe that they've both done this. I'm regretting the fact that I call them both friends. They always say that you're a part of the company you keep around you and now I'm second-guessing our friendship. It's about 3 a.m. when my phone goes off and because I'm in a light sleep, I check out my phone and see that my husband is finally responding to all of my messages.

He's just as repulsed as I am. He apologizes for his buddy Scott and he's like, I can't believe they did that right in front of you. And I'm like, yeah. But like, could you imagine if I wasn't there? Like, why would they be so into each other with someone who knows their family so well? And he's like, yeah, that is weird. And then I'm like, should I tell their partners? And he's like, no, you should just stay out of it.

You don't want to get wrapped up in stuff like that. And I'm like what? I'd want to know if you were cheating on me like that, wouldn't you want to know? And he's like sometimes ignorance is bliss. And then I'm like, hmm. Kay, I'll see you when you get home. That whole conversation didn't sit well with me. Ignorance is bliss?

WTF does that mean? So I try to bury the fact that my husband just said that and try to get some shut eye. Then the morning comes and my husband gets in early and he's tired and crawled. into bed. I'm like telling him that what I saw really shook me up and he's like, yeah, that's awful. I can't even imagine. I'm like, yeah, I don't think I can just sit on this. I really feel like I have to say something. It's just weighing so heavy on me. And he's like, op, stay out of it. Really? It's none of our business. And I'm like, how is it none of my business when they just did that right in front of me.

And then he turns to me and we're laying in bed and his voice gets all stern and he's like Janelle and Scott have been seeing each other for the last seven months and Scott swore me to secrecy to not tell anyone. He asked me if you were cool with it and I said yes. So if you say something to their partners, it means I lied to them. And I'm like YTF would you say something like that and put words in my mouth? Why would you think that's ever okay? and he's like Scott is like a brother to me, I've known him since grade school.

He's not happy with his wife. He hates his life. Just let him have this. And I'm like what on earth is going on. So now I'm out of bed and I'm standing there thinking that I literally don't know any of these people. I look at him laying there in our bed and I'm like you may be cool with it, but I'm most definitely not cool with this. So if you still want to be cool with me, you need to make this right and you need to tell Scott and Janelle that they need to get their shit together and come clean with everyone or decide to leave their spouses if they're so dang unhappy. And then I get up and go to our little son and go downstairs to make us breakfast. My husband doesn't say anything else, he doesn't come downstairs, he just goes to bed.

I'm trying to enjoy some playtime with our son, but in my head I'm like how did all of this just unfold like this? How could Janelle do this to me? Not that she owed me anything, but like I feel like I really put my neck out there and got her hired with my dad's company when she couldn't find a job elsewhere. The industry was really saturated at the time. I don't like pulling the my dad owns a company card, I don't like being that person, but she practically begged me to help her out because, at the time, her husband had been

laid off and wasn't working, she had just finished school and they had a one-year-old, and yeah, I just felt bad, and she was a friend. So I couldn't let them suffer like that. I would have wanted someone to help me if they were able. So I end up texting Janelle around lunchtime and I'm asking if she got home okay. And she says, yes. Thank you for such a great night. I hope you had fun.

And I was like, dude, what was that with Scott? And then I see her typing something out, but then she stops typing. And I sort of wait for her to say something and then I get nothing. Then about a half hour later, she calls me and she's like, hey, I thought you were cool with all of this? Scott said that Greg, my husband, told you. I'm like, no, he didn't and no I'm not cool with this. How could you do this to Dylan, her husband? She's like everyone has their secrets, op, don't pretend like you don't have any.

And I'm like WTF is that supposed to mean? And she's like there's a lot you don't know, op. If you say anything to Dylan, you're going to open up one ugly can of worms. And then I'm like Janelle, WTF. And she's like for real. Mind your own business. I thought you were cool, I thought we were friends. Now I know who my true friends are.

And she hangs up on me. I'm literally standing in my kitchen like what the F. Did that really just happen? Also, she has no idea who she's messing with. And I text her and I'm like you seem to forget who had your back when you were at your lowest. But if you really want to go there, we can. Okay, so then I go upstairs and wake up Greg and tell him the conversation that I just had with Janelle. I'm like WTF, does she mean by this?

And he gets sort of grumpy and mad at me for waking him up and he's like, why are we even having this conversation right now? I told you to leave it alone and now you've just pissed her off. and then he looks at his phone and sees that both Scott and Janelle have left him voicemails and text messages. And he's like, great. They're probably both livid. And then he gets up and he's like, damn it, op, why couldn't you have just left it alone? And I said, because it's the right thing to do. If she's lying to me about this, then what else could she be lying and hiding from me? And he's like, just leave it to me. I'll give them a call.

and calm them down. And I'm like, we shouldn't even be having anything to do with these people. And he's like, these people are our friends. And I'm like, how can we associate with people who do this to their loved ones and make us lie for them and hide the truth from people? And he goes, I'll talk to the both of them and get this all taken care of. Just don't talk to either of them anymore and stay out of it. Am I overreacting?

Should I tell their spouses? What should I do? Update 1, hi, I'm back. Not too long after my first post, I go and see with both Scott and Janelle. I delete them both off social media. And I tell Greg to not have anything to do with them. And he says, sure. At first, but then legit a week later, he says he's going out for beers at the local pub here with some buddies to watch the game. And I'm like, okay, who's going to be there? And he names off some guys and then also mentions Scott. And I'm like, okay, well, we already agreed that you weren't going to see Scott again. And he goes, how am I going to stop seeing him when we have mutual friends that we've bone grown up with?

And I'm like, I tell the truth and out him to everyone. And he's like, most of the other guys know they just don't have an issue with it. Like you do. And I'm like, wow, don't bother coming home tonight. and then we get in a big fight and he packs an overnight bag and leaves. Well, he texts me about two hours later and he's apologizing and telling me that he realizes just how bad Scott really is. And he doesn't want something like this getting in the way of our relationship.

So I'm just about to apologize too, but I'm also on Snapchat and I go onto the location settings. I see that Greg is still sharing his location and it's live, but it's not at the local pub. It's at Scott's house. Then I call Greg and he doesn't pick up and he says, Sorry, hon, it's really loud in here with them game. And I'm like, I know you're at Scots and then he calls me, but I don't answer. Then I text him and tell him that he can stay at Scots and I tell him he's no better than is cheating at SS.

So that's where we're at Update 2. I'm back. Greg is still at Scots. I can see his location still there. It had only been two days, but the weird thing was that Greg hasn't tried to reach out to me after that text. I sent him, You're no better than Scott's cheating at SS. He hasn't even tried to call me. So naturally this enraged me. I was so pissed off that I hadn't heard from him and that he hadn't even attempted to try to fix things that I ended up texting Janelle's husband and telling him

everything. He texted me back right away and said, thank you, op. And that was sort of it. But then that same night I get a text from Janelle and it's simply just a screenshot of him talking to her and Scott in a group chat and they're talking explicitly with each other about what they plan on doing to Janelle. And this was dated four months ago. I literally dropped my phone. Then more screenshots come through and it's the same sort of thing, but two months ago and then more that happened just recently. Then she sends me a text and says, now I'm spilling his secrets, bitch. So I fucking saved all those screenshots and sent them to him and told him we are over. So fucking over.

I knew it was fishy of him to defend them like that and try to take care of it and stay out of it. What a cheating lying at SS son of a bitch. Then he tries calling me, but I'm already on the phone with my mom and dad and I'm telling them what happened and my dad's like, I know exactly what to do. So within the coming weeks, he starts an investigation with Janelle and gets a her written up for things that she's been fucking up at work. Apparently she's also been lying on her time sheet. So that's huge. People have been saying that they're having problems with her for quite some time, but he didn't want to say anything to me because he thought we were best friends.

So for quite some time he's been protecting her at work too. But now I'm like, no dad kicked that bitch to the curb. He also gave me the name of a client friend of his who's a lawyer and we're starting the process up with that now. As for Scott, I have his wife on Instagram and sent her the screenshots that Janelle sent me and apologize that she has to find out this way. I set them here for her if she needs. Update 3, I had my dad serve Greg divorce papers and my dad said he tore them apart in front of him. I also changed the locks in the house and changed the passcodes to the garage door. Greg tried to come by once and freaked out calling me after he realized he couldn't get in. I also called his parents and sent them the same screenshots. They are totally on my side

and not speaking to him. He's been totally cut off by everybody except his loser friends who think it's okay to lie and cheat. I also heard that he had a big fuck up at work and it costs the company a ton of money. So there's that. I checked in to see his location from time to time just for curiosity's sake. He's been staying at Scots. That's in poor taste. Also, Janelle has been let go. I'm just trying to enjoy life with our little boy. I've gone for full custody in alimony. I've also been brainstorming starting up my own business, but I'm honestly just trying to take it slow. I'm just trying to get as much cuddles in with my son as I can and get through all of this and just do my own thing and hang around people that want to do good and be good.

Now on to the next story. Story two. Caught my wife cheating, but I still gave her a second chance, but she lied to her parents about the reason for our divorce. So I told them the truth and they kicked her out. My now ex-wife, 35, and I, 35 male, were together for nine years with one of them being spent as a married couple. The two of us didn't have kids, but we had two dogs that we loved to pieces. One of them was disabled, so they required a little bit more care than the other, but that didn't matter to me. We had our fights and issues over the years, but it was nothing. It didn't seem like we could work on. I foolishly believe that our issues were something that could be fixed. I went as far as to suggest counseling to which my ex-wife agreed. However, to successfully do

couples counseling, both people have to be willing to work with the therapist. I was more than willing to work with the therapist and was upfront about my issues. Most of the time she would just let me talk. A few times my ex-wife didn't even show up so I was left there, sitting awkwardly with the therapist who felt bad for me. Despite this, I wasn't willing to give up. Then I discovered she was cheating on me and it was like a huge wake-up call. It was a complete accident that I discovered it. She said she was going to hang out with a friend for the day, so I spent the day doing some chores. This included going to the grocery store to grab some things for dinner. When I was there, I ended up bumping into the actual friend she was supposed to

be out with. I asked the friend where my wife was. Her friend seemed confused so right then I knew something was up. Why would she lie about hanging out with a friend that she wasn't hanging out with? It was hard to do the grocery shopping when my mind was focused on where my wife was, but I managed to do it. When I got home, I waited for my wife to come home. She came in the door, greeting me like nothing was wrong. I confronted her right away because I couldn't wait to talk about this situation. When I told her I ran into her friend, her face paled.

She said she made a mistake, but I didn't buy it. I pushed and pushed. Eventually, my ex-wife told me that she was sexting with this guy she met online. This had been going on for nearly the entire time we were married, which devastated me. That night was the first time they met. How romantic, I sneered. Normally, it wasn't like me to be sarcastic, but I was hurt and just so angry. Here I was trying to work on this relationship with my wife.

I was even willing to go to counseling. Meanwhile, she is messing around with this guy. I looked back at all the time she was on the phone and laptop. It didn't seem odd to me before, but now I realized how intense it was. Her first reaction was to beg me to give us another try. We were best friends, she said. She couldn't live without me. When I pointed out that the two of us were already seeing a therapist, my wife said she was going to try this time.

In an act of desperation, I gave her a second chance. Then three days later I caught her talking with the guy. She said they were just friends and it was difficult to cut off a friendship. My wife claimed they had to tape her off slowly. It was at that point I knew my marriage and entire relationship was over. I told her that under no circumstances would I give her another chance. The moment I said that it was like a flipped switch. My wife told me fine and moved out.

She ended up staying with her parents. We rented a house so at least we didn't have to deal with that. I was grateful she was just quick to move out and not put up a fight. Our dogs were confused at first and desperately missed her. I did my best to help them transition to the new environment. Pets can be like people in certain ways. They get separation anxiety and react to sudden changes as much as we do. Once she was out, I kept trying to get her to take the rest of her stuff out of the house.

I didn't want to look at it anymore. After weeks of badgering her, I got sick of waiting, put the boxes in the back of my car, and went to her parents' house. I had no animosity towards her parents. They always treated me nice so while they were surprised to see me, they seemed happy. Her mom said she was sorry for the divorce and said sometimes people just fall out of love. This confused me so I asked my former mother-in-law what my ex-wife had said was the reason for the divorce. My ex left out the cheating bit so I felt it was my duty to tell her parents the unabashed truth.

They seemed shocked so I offered to give them evidence if they didn't believe me. No part of me felt bad for telling them the truth. My ex should have been up front with them. They were good people but figured they would support their daughter despite this because it was their daughter. Oh, how wrong I was. I ended up discovering through mutual friends that my former in-laws confronted my ex about what I said. She denied it, but when they said I offered to show them proof, she admitted that she did step outside the marriage.

Her parents then told my ex that she had 30 days to find a new place. At the end of those 30 days, she would have to get out regardless if she found other accommodation. My former mother-in-law did reach out to me to apologize, saying they didn't raise their daughter to have terrible morals like that. I accepted the apology even though it wasn't their fault. How were they to know what their daughter would do as an adult? I got quite a few angry and explicit texts from my ex after her parents kicked her out. She told me that she could be homeless and shamelessly demanded that I let her stay in our old apartment. At least until she got on her feet.

My response was to tell my ex to go stay with her app. If he cared about her so much then surely he'd let her stay. I blocked any possible numbers she could contact me from and started the next phase of my life. Trying to heal from this relationship was by far the most difficult thing I'd ever tried to do. I had my family and friends beside me but they could only do so much because unless you've been through the situation, it was hard to relate. However, spending time with those who care about me, going to therapy for just myself, and just taking one day out of the week to take a walk or something proven to help.

I still am in the middle of the healing process, but I know I've come a hell of a long way since first discovering her affair. As far as I know, my ex still isn't talking to her parents and is couch surfing until she can officially move into her new apartment. There are times she still tries to reach out to contact me, but outside of official change channels regarding our divorce, we have no reason to talk. Let the app have my ex. He may think he has won the ultimate prize but this couldn't be further from the truth. My ex is about as far from a prize as you can get. I hope you enjoy this story. My sibling's spouse, 29F, is attempting to

influence my spouse, 29M, to be unsupportive of me, 28F. My partner and I just eloped, opting out of a grand wedding we had been preparing for. Not for us and eloped. My family was fine off the bat. I have a great relationship with them and they understood where I was coming from, complete acceptance. My so's family was less accepting, especially his mother and twin sister. For years it was just the three of them before his mother remarried and had a few more children, but because of this his sister and mother are still very dependent on him. They were hurt because they were looking forward to everything that comes with a wedding, the weekend away, pretty dress. us paying for them to stay in a nice hotel, fancy food slash free drinks, not necessarily because

we were getting married, hopefully that gives everyone a small idea to how selfish and entitled they are. This all occurred in the beginning of July, we decided that after our quick allotment that we would extend our already planned European vacation from one week to two weeks, from July 25th until August 9th. Initially we were going to board our pug and have a neighbor keep an eye on our condo, but being gone that long we thought the best idea would be to have someone stay there, enter Sill, so suggested that she house it for us, she would be cheaper than any other option, we could trust her, and she loves our dog, seemed to be the perfect solution. Shortly before our trip so informed me that Sill was thinking of moving to our city from hers,

Springfield to Chicago, and would be looking for a job while staying in our place, hoping to interview while she was up here, not a problem. She has been really inconsistent with work and maybe a change of scenery from living with her mom is what she needs, it was never discussed that she would be staying longer than the two weeks or would need to. The day that we leave she shows up on the Amtrak, with three large suitcases, now I was already frazzled so, didn't think anything more than wow and I thought I was an overpacker, but in hindsight that should have been my first red flag, but we leave and have a fantastic vacation, we check in a few times and everything is just great at home.

We get home and everything is clean, well taken care of, and my pug is still a fat, lazy lump of fur, but I love him so, so she did a great job and is deserving of the money. We got home late on the ninth so didn't see her until the 10th. I had the day off, but she never asked for a ride to Union Station or any indication that she was returning home. Figured that she must have arranged it with So, I go to bed early without asking So what is going on, go to work as normal on Tuesday assuming she has left, and come home on Tuesday to her sitting on my couch, eating something and watching TV, what, I call so, he says that she needs to stay for a few weeks. She told him that she has a job lead and that she has another interview

next week. If she doesn't get the job, then she will go back to Springfield but would like to continue the job search from our place. I am not happy that he gave her permission to live here without speaking to me, but he is blind when it comes to his sister and mother. So this is something we need to continue to work on. I agree to a week extra as long as she focuses on job search, Fast forward to last weekend, August 15th, Sill has completely taken over my condo in this short time, she monopolizes my living room, eats all of our food, then complains when there is no food left.

Tells me that she doesn't want any guests using her bathroom, a.k.a. the guest bathroom, when they are over, has brought over some guy to have sex with and has very loud sex with him while So and I are trying to have dinner. And just makes catty comments in general towards my husband about how I seem to run the household and tell stories about how he was always a sissy growing up. I decide I can't put up with it for any longer and talk to So about it. He agrees but acknowledges that with his mother slash sister he has no backbone and he knows that he will cave.

So I talk to her, I tell her that while she is a part of our family, we feel that she has taken advantage of us at this point and I need to know what her plans to leave are because this is no longer working for me and so. She tells me that So told her that she could stay as long as she needs and that she wasn't planning on going back to Springfield at this point as her relationship with her mother is codependent and dangerous, she then insinuates that if I send her back that So will turn against me, I tell her that she has a week. I know so and her threats will not work and I can promise her that she does not want to make him pick between us because he will see what she is really trying to do, so that didn't go well at all, things quieted down and she had her interview on Monday.

She has been ignoring me for the past few days but So says that it went well and she is anticipating in getting the job. He said that she spoke of staying with us, but he held strong, saying that unless there was something crazy that happened she would have to go. If she had to start the job ASAP, then we could possibly help her with finding a place. We buy her an Amtrak ticket for Saturday morning, well, wouldn't you guess it? Something crazy happens on Friday just before she has to leave. I get a text from my so, we need to talk when you get home, I am worried you relapsed, some context. I am in recovery for kleptomania, since I was a child I saw. I see, stole just to steal. Not because I needed something, or had no money, but just because,

I have not stolen since before So and I started dating, so about three years, and have done extensive therapy throughout the years to deal with this, I have been very candid about this with everyone, including Mill and Sill. Mill called so on Friday morning telling him that Sill called her in tears on Thursday night. She noticed that some of her clothes had gone missing and that one of her rings was gone as well. She took it upon herself to search my room, finding the ring on my dresser and searching through my closet where she found the clothing. She told him that they understand that my job is stressful and that having Sill staying with us added some stress so they weren't upset and wouldn't take any further action but that they were truly concerned.

Sil found several pieces of clothing that had tags on it still, buried in my closet by her clothes. They believe that I have started shoplifting again in addition to stealing from Sill. I did not relapse. I did not buy those clothes and I believe that either they were clothes she purchased and it was just the perfect circumstance or that she purchased them to set me up. I come home to an intervention of sorts. Sil and So sitting in my living room with her clothes, rings, and the stolen clothes all laid out. She has him completely believing this. My soul looks distraught. He wants to help me and fully believes that I have relapsed. Sill volunteers to stay with us. She is a CADC and feels that

some of her skills could be there to help me, so is heartbroken. He feels that he caused this by bringing stress into my life, taking all of the blame off sill. I am at a loss. The past 36 hours have been a nightmare, whenever she is alone with so she keeps planting seeds of doubt about my recovering, hinting that I seem to be wearing clothes that are above my pay grade but I don't have any debt. So where is this all coming from? And when we talk, I can see the wheels of doubt turning in his head. Is she stealing again? Is my sister right? I have tried to explain this to so and it seems that now he believes me but he cannot imagine that his sister would try to frame me like this. He knows his mother and sister have issues but to him they would never try to hurt him,

especially by attacking me. To me it is obvious that Sill and Mill have always been able to manipulate so to do whatever they wanted, and had I not been in the picture Sill would have moved in without issue, since I wasn't going along with her plan, she had to do something to disrupt it. I don't know how to handle this with her, or with my mill. I know that's so and I can recover from this, but I am worried that it will be at the cost of his relationship with his sister and mother, edit, sorry my questions asking for advice were not clear. How do I broach this with my husband in the log run? Based on their past behavior, especially the sister, I am nervous this is going to become a long-term problem between us, so how do I communicate to him, you pick me or I walk?

And how do I mitigate this now, getting her out? Do I bother trying to clear my name with a stealing? I don't want to get overly defensive. Update, my sister-in-law, 29F, is trying to turn my husband, 29M, against me, 28F. Thanks to all who provided advice and answers to my questions. After reading everything, I gave so an ultimatum, either Sill left that night or I did and would leave him, I am not going to be put after his manipulative sister and mother in the pecking order, so it was her or me at this point. He agreed she would go, but we both knew it would not be

pretty. We decided to offer to pay for a hotel and Amtrak ticket if she refused at first, hoping this could be a bargaining tool to get her to agree. I show so the previous thread and he initially said nothing but went directly to our guest room and packed everything of hers up quickly. He then apologized for everything. I told him that we both know this is more than his sister trying to claim residency in our condo and we have to resolve this or it will lead at our marriage. He agreed to go to therapy with me and if need be, go to therapy on his own. He doesn't want to let this destroy our marriage. We had a really frank discussion about my recovery. I explained to him that if I was stealing again it would be obvious as, we would have random things

around the house that we didn't have before, I wouldn't have been able to restrain myself to a few shirts if I relapsed. He was really supportive and apologetic. He trusted his sister due to her experience with addictions but seemed to understand that this was just manipulation on her part. She ended up showing up later Sunday, letting herself into the condo like it was just a normal day. It took her all of a minute to see her bags, so pushed her bags out in the hall and when she tried to get them. He shut them both out there. I left them alone because he needed to do this on his own.

Without me, I heard her crying and I know he offered to take her to a hotel and pay for her train. She told him to fuck off. After a little bit she started throwing a fit in the hall and was sobbing loud. enough that the whole floor could probably hear. I could make her out saying that he was abandoning her in her time of need and that the bitch has to stop controlling you, I'm your family. It took every ounce of restraint for me to not go and slap a bitch, but so reminded me that she is trying to agitate me. Eventually my neighbor couldn't take any more and texted me that he called the good old

Chicago PD to get her to shut up. Cops came a little later. They spoke to her first because she was currently camped out in the hall. She told them that she wanted me arrested for kicking her out of her home. had a feeling she would pull this. And for stealing from her, she told them I was trying to steal her purse. It was in the kitchen where she dropped it prior to so pushing her out, a ring, and a few outfits. Plus I was stealing from stores. I told the nice officer about the whole incident, including her allegations. So backed me up that she was setting me up and this was all really family issues, not legal. At this point they told her not only had she attempted to file a false police report but she was disturbing the peace for no reason. She told them she had she had

nowhere to go but after telling the police she lived in Springfield and had come up here to house it. They noped her residency claim, cops told us that because she claimed to have no money, had no car, and her residence is so far away that we had two options because we can't just kick her out with nowhere to go. Either we let her stay until she can arrange for a meth at home aka we get her a train ticket tomorrow or we take her home right then and there but there is only one way that they can guarantee she will be gone tomorrow morning, so when I talked about it.

We were concerned letting her stay an additional night would just make this worse and we would be right back where we started. We opted to drive her home. She agreed to this without much issue. I think the cops made her realize that her little plot was over. The beginning of the drive was pretty awful. She cried for the first hour. Laid the guilt on thick. He's caused her so much stress.

He doesn't care about her. Can't he see what I'm trying to do? She's only looking out for him. They are twins. Their bond is stronger than ours. And I don't want kids so how could he want to stay with me? I'll admit that I fed into her a bit with some name calling, delusional, stupid bitch. Insane, but I had reached my breaking point, not my proudest moment. After a while So and I put on an

audiobook and just ignored her, which worked, she slept the rest of the time while So and I were both just wired with anxiety. By the time we get to Mill's house it is around 2 a.m. and we drop her off without incident. Mill calls us as we are about 15 minutes away, tell so that I am a cancer on their family and told him that he had to stand up to me and choose his family for once, wholly delusional. He told his mother that he picked me and he is sorry she feels that it has to be one or the other, but she made that choice, not him. The drive home so poured everything out, apparently his childhood abuse goes so much further than he has shared before. Dill would regularly physically and mentally torment him, but when he would tell his mother she would blame him,

he agreed that he thought the distance was enough to deal with everything, but he needs more than that. He also needs to come to terms that his relationship with his mother, sister, half-siblings, and stepfather may be over. He was scared to admit how bad it was and I hate that it took his sister behaving like this for it to come out. It's absolutely heartbreaking. We took the day off, slept a lot, watched some Rick and Morty. Went to a fairly productive therapy session and are eating some awesome pizza. It's hard to sit back and realize what was my relationship kind of crumble this weekend, but I have faith that we can each work on our relationship and ourselves. When we turn So's phone back on there were several voicemails and numerous text messages from

both Dill and Mill apologizing for everything. So and I have talked about him going completely zero contact with both Dill and Mill. I think changing our phone numbers is a good place to start, but he is apprehensive. He is worried about emergencies, but I don't want to give them any further opportunity to sabotage our relationship. This is absolutely the right move, correct? I am thinking of finding him a specialty therapist to assist with this, but I don't know where to start or what questions I should be asking with such family issues. Where should we start with this? Update 2. My sister-in-law, 29F, is trying to turn my husband, 29M, against me, 28F.

Hello there, everyone. A bit of an update, it has been two weeks since we removed Dill from our residents and was a doozy have they been. I could actually use some advice going forward since everyone was so great before. We had a few peaceful days since returning home, got back into our routines, went to therapy and got my SO set up with an individual therapist on his own, we didn't end up changing either of our numbers for other reasons, but agreed that if they couldn't respect our wishes then we would just have to block their numbers entirely. It wasn't an issue until this past weekend.

On Friday, So's younger brother, Y.B., who is 16 and living at home called him. He wanted to give him a heads up that mill and Dill were coming up here to visit some family member, they decided to bring him with so he could see so, even he knew that this didn't smell right, so freaked out, he realized that they were going to manipulate him into seeing them by using his YB as bait, he was right. I was out of town by this point already for a bachelorette party, leaving my soul alone and not at all prepared to deal with his family and me not being able to get home until Sunday. Y.B. calls on Saturday to let so know that he would like to see him. They have some time before they head home and are in our neighborhood for some reason.

So when Y.B. get to hang out for a few hours in our home, they play some video games, eat some takeout, and just have a nice afternoon of brother bonding. Y.B. Tell so that he doesn't believe what my Mill and Dill have been saying but that they have done nothing but bash me on their social media pages. He pulled their pages up on his phone and was able to give a screenshot of them to sew. One of them said, Well, that Hoyty which has managed to brainwash my son again. Please pray that Jesus will deliver him from the devil that he lays with. She is nothing short of a cancer on my life and I worry that this will drive me to illness.

Pray for us all. I just can't even with this. She's not even religious but anyway. So kept it together for the rest of their visit, at the end both Mill and Dill attempted to come up to the condo but he was able to keep them downstairs, only speaking to them outside. Dill then dropped a bomb on So, she's been severely depressed and needed him. She miscarried recently and it has been awful on her. She just needed her twin. To comfort her, he feels immensely guilty. Neither of us had an idea that this happened.

I get home early yesterday and I can read the conflict on his face, and we've fought about it. My frustration with Mill and Dill is at its peak, especially after seeing the barrage of Facebook posts. He agrees that those are over the line but that most are for Mill. True, but Dill had two that were passive aggressive and clearly aimed towards me, so it wouldn't be fair to hold his deal accountable for those, I disagree, she made these choices that got us to this place. She literally started this entire thing. Not us and now she has to deal with the consequences regardless of whatever trauma she may have endured that spurred this on, and, honestly, I don't necessarily believe that she really had a miscarriage. Our fight consisted

of name-calling, him calling me insensitive and cold, me calling him naive and manipulated, and bickering. Which was a lot considering we normally only fight over whose house is better from Game of Thrones. We spoke after our fight yesterday and were able to move on from it, but then today we both could feel tension and it was only amplified when he told me he was texting Dill to check on her. I feel like we have regressed and now I am back behind Dill in the pecking order when I feel that I should be first. I deserve to be first, right? So, our slash relationships, how do I handle this? Is it best just to jump into couples' therapy? this is something we both think is a good place to go but not necessarily right now. Do I suggest we go

no contact until we get a clearer idea? I don't want to feel guilty if his sister really went through that and I take away her support, but at the same point I need to put my marriage first, part of me wants to just confront my dill and tape the conversation because I know her and no she won't be able to not gloat to me. My marriage is my number one priority at the end of the day. How do I convey that I need it to be? Is two without coming? coming off as selfish? This is where the OP started rant posting on everything from cake to dresses, so I skipped all the parts and am showing only the last two posts that the OP made. Update 3, Hey There, Helen is Dead. No, that title isn't a joke, it's not a poor attempt at

humor, effing Helen is dead, she died on Saturday, alone. From what we can tell, we won't know for some time due to toxicology, but it appears as though she mixed the wrong medication with the wrong amount of Francia and passed in her sleep. It's been weird, D.H. is sad, very sad, which is to be expected but so far is handling it well. S. Phil is handling planning all the arrangements. We are debating if we will attend. Part of me is against it. There are all the stories I have shared with my people here, and even some that I have not shared. About how she has just been this persistent infection on my life, why honor her at all? But then part of me looks like it, my DH, my Lowe's, and my family of eels and I see some of their pain, that even though she

really was effing Helen throughout their entire lives, she still had some rare moments of being mom. Personally, I feel angry, I guess that she got to go peacefully in her sleep, sure her life was a hot effing mess but she deserved that after everything she has put everyone through, I didn't want the universe to be done serving her that karma pie that she so rightfully deserved. I'll have to figure that out, but I guess my username rings true. A bit, today. Ding-dong the Wicked Witch, effing Helen, is dead. I hope afterlife is like the good place except extremely hot so she is constantly sweaty and gross. Sorry, I'm petty. Update 4. Goodbye, Helen. Thank you to all your words of support. Honestly, this has been a very emotional several

days. We have decided to attend the services this week. We flew back to D.H.'s hometown yesterday. I'm taking a short break for myself to process. Process what, ding-dong? Helen wrote death letters for all of us. They were in her safe. Phil handed them out last night. I've decided to post mine and write a short response to her. Dear Ding-dong, if you are reading this, I have died, I hope that by this time we have

reconciled, and we have both seen the errors of our ways, I never gave you a full shot. I've been going to therapy frequently and have come to see how much damage I have caused to my relationship with my son by isolating you. You are not a bad person and you seem to be a good partner to my son. I don't always agree with your choices of dress, lifestyle, and personality, but that is why God makes us all unique. We have both made mistakes in our relationship and for any pain I may have caused you by trying to be a good mother to my son. I am sorry. I should have seen you just wanted to make him happy. I hope that this is not the last letter I write to you. I plan to write new ones every two years to update them. I hope I can look fond of

back on this in two years and laugh at how silly we were, you and I should be friends. We are both beautiful and good mothers. I am sorry we have been at odds because you did not see eye to eye with me, take care of my son and babies. I'll be watching over you, love, Helen, dear Helen, I am sorry that we could not have a better relationship for DH and our children. I look at the relationship DH has with my mother, even now in our time of grief. And wish that I could have had that, someone who could have been my ally, friend, and a second mother. I can honestly say that I tried. For years, I did my best to show you that I wanted to make it work with you, that I wanted to be there for you and have you be there for me, but every step of the

way you fought it, you punished me for existing. You hatched plots against me, you embarrassed me on many occasions and you manipulated me until the very end. I can say that I had genuine fear for what you might do to me on a regular basis. No person should live like that. I do not accept your apology, your passing. Does not mean you deserve it. You were evil, cruel. and disrespectful to me on a consistent basis. I will not miss you. I will not share stories of you with my children. You do not deserve that. Most of all, I will help D.H. recover. He deserves healing and peace after a lifetime of hell. Helen. With no love, ding dong. I cried writing that. It feels so good. I love all of you. Seriously, the almost three years I have been here has been so helpful.

I am going to therapy. I am going to get through this. And I hope to be a wise commenter like so many of you, one final one, I know you hate Heat Helen, so I hope hell is just as hot Chicago was this weekend X 10,000, Rod in Hell, which. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse used $25,000 from our funds to purchase a present for his sibling. When I addressed him about it, he insulted me and advised me to find employment. A fortnight later he's begging for my help. My husband Peter, 33M, and I, 30F. have been married for three years and before that, we had been together for three years too. I've known his family for almost six years and I've gotten along with most of them except for

his sister Lucy, 27F. Brad is usually a word reserved for younger kids who tend to act out a lot when they don't get their way, but I think it fits pretty well for Lucy as well. She's the youngest of three kids and the only daughter, so I guess that's why her parents have always spoiled her and to a certain extent, so we have our brothers. But as an adult, her father and my brother-in-law don't really treat her all that differently anymore, but I can't say the same for her mother and my husband. I get along decently with my mother-in-law most of the time and I love my husband, but the two of them are mostly responsible for the spoiled way that she still acts.

When I met her for the first time, she didn't like me right off the bat because I did not treat her any differently from the rest of the family, but I didn't think I should have had to. Anyway, since then, she has never been nice to me and has always had a very weird attitude when she's around me. The sad thing is that it doesn't even bother me because I know that she's a brat and a grown woman who cannot handle not being the center of attention everywhere. I don't think I need her approval in the first place so I've never tried to be her friend. Peter doesn't like this, and he has tried to tell me that I should at least make some effort

to befriend her several times, but I've never paid attention to it and after we got married, he stopped trying. But he has always treated his sister like a princess and I've never had an issue with it until recently. So far, it was only his behavior through which he was spoiling her by validating her all the time, even when she would do something wrong and always prioritizing her over everything else. And occasionally, he would splurge a little on her, but that was a pretty reasonable amount and he would never go overboard. But two weeks ago, at her birthday party, he gave her a present worth $25,000 and that's where I draw the line. It was a stunning jewelry set that she had been talking about for weeks and had told him that

she was saving up money for it. So he decided to give it to her as her older brother to make her day and not even for a second did he consider the fact that financially, we were not in a position to be just giving out such expensive gifts from luxury brands. He hadn't discussed it with me earlier, which I think he really should have because it's a huge amount and what's worse is that he had withdrawn that amount from our joint savings account. After he gave her that gift at her birthday party and everyone started going crazy over it, I had to pull him aside for a second because I was really confused about what was going on since

earlier. We had decided that we were just going to give her a normal gift and that's what I had brought along. He explained to me that he had been assigned a pretty big project with an extremely prestigious client at work and that meant a big fat check as an advance and he had deposited that in the joint savings account, but a few days after that, Lucy started talking about the jewelry said that she wanted and he just knew that he had to get it for her. So he decided to make a withdrawal from the account and purchase that set for her so he could give it to her as a present on her birthday and he told me that the rest of the payment for the project that he had taken on would come through in a couple of months, so it didn't matter that he had splurged a little right now.

I thought it was strange that I hadn't received any notifications from the bank since I had alert set up for every transaction and my husband confessed to me that the day that he had deposited the check at the bank, he had come home and while I was sleeping. He had disabled all text alerts from the bank from the app and he knows that I don't really check my email very often, so he knew that he was safe and I wouldn't find out. He told me that he had initially done it because he wanted me to be surprised when he told me about the project, but after that, when he decided to use some of the money from the advance payment to buy that present for Lucy, he thought that it would be best that I wasn't notified by the bank, so he did not enable those alerts again. I thought that

this was very dishonest and disrespectful to me and had been feeling quite annoyed while he was explaining all of this to me. So once he was done talking, I told him that this was absolutely unacceptable behavior and that I did not appreciate the fact that he had purchased such an expensive gift for his sister without even consulting me first, especially considering the fact that the money that he had withdrawn had been from our joint savings account and it was supposed to be for both our futures, not just him. After marriage, when we had made that account, we had decided that we were not going to touch any of that money

until we had a baby because this was for the future and both of us had honored that agreement until recently. When I confronted him about all of this, and I told him that I was not happy with this decision, he got really nasty with me and he told me that I didn't have any siblings, so he didn't expect me to understand what he was doing. He also said that Lucy was really important to him and as her older brother,

he could give her as many expensive gifts as he wanted to, and I had no right to stand in the way of that. I tried to argue with him, telling him that we had already agreed that we were going to start trying for a baby by the end of this year so we had to save money for that, and as his wife, I had every right to talk about our finances if I thought he was going overboard. But then he said something really mean and called me a stupid and irrational housewife who was just jealous of my sister-in-law and told me to get a job so I wouldn't waste his time and energy by creating drama about such petty stuff. Then he went back to the party and left me standing all by myself in a corner and I had to try

really hard to hold back my tears while I walked to the car and started driving back home. Once I was inside the car, I drove a little farther away, and then I finally broke down. While crying, I called my parents up and I asked them if they would be okay with having me stay with them for a couple of days because I just needed to get away from Peter. What he had said about me just being a housewife and needing to get a housewife and needing to get a a job really got under my skin because I had only been a Sioux for the past four months. I had to quit my previous job because I wasn't getting the kind of opportunities that I wanted, and I felt like my potential was being wasted there. I had spent quite some time there and had

been feeling trapped, so after some discussion with Peter, I decided to quit and he knew that I was going to do this. At the time, he had been very supportive of it and had told me to go for it because he said that I had better employment opportunities in store for me, given my talent and dedication. I had been looking for job opportunities to my taste for the past four months but hadn't been able to find anything that really appealed to me, so I still kept looking because I didn't want to waste my time at another dead-end job. In the meantime, I had taken over all the household chores because I didn't want to sit at home uselessly so I guess I was a housewife, but just because I was in between jobs at the moment. And I'm not saying that there's anything

wrong with being a housewife, but the way that he said it, that was obviously meant to insult me. Even when I had quit my job, we had decided that he was still going to keep putting aside a share of his income for the savings account and once I started working again, I would resume as well. But, just because I had told him that I didn't appreciate him buying expensive gifts for Lucy, especially when we were not even sure if we could afford them yet or not, he had turned the entire situation around on me and made me feel terrible about things that he himself encouraged initially.

The fact that he had insulted me because of money made me feel terrible and after the party, I drove back home, packed some of my things, and moved in with my parents. Since then, I have been living here because he refuses to acknowledge that he did something wrong and apologizes for it. He had reached out to me the day after the party and told me that he really wanted to make this marriage work, but he's not going to apologize because he didn't think that he did anything wrong by giving his sister a gift. He also told me that the reason he had said all those things was because he was really annoyed with me and he knew that he had taken things too far, but I had been the one provoking him on purpose, especially since I knew that his family was his weakness, but I just

kept triggering him. But I didn't care, I told him that I was going to stand my ground, and that I was not coming back home until he apologized, and since then, we had been arguing back and forth for quite some time. Two weeks have passed since then and I've been miserable, but at least my parents have been by my side. He hadn't even been here to see me, we had only been talking on the phone and through texts. However, last evening, he was He showed up in person and told me that it was an emergency and that he absolutely needed to talk to me. My parents were not exactly happy to see him, but they still allowed him to enter and we

had a chat in the living room, where he told me that I was right about everything and he had been a total jerk. So he had come to apologize to me for it and also to ask for my help because something happened at work and now, he needed to return all the money that he had received. Apparently, his company had lost the project and the client had made a deal with another company. So now, according to the contract, they had to return any advance payment that they had received in full and as we all know, he had already spent $25,000 of that payment on a gift for his sister. While he had been at work, his boss had told him all about it and demanded that

he cleared the payment by the end of the week. He was in big trouble now because before he came to me, he had gone to his sister's house and told Lucy about the situation that he was in. and with a heavy heart, he had to ask her to return the gift to him and since he still had the receipt, he could get his money back. She hadn't had any occasion to wear it yet, so it was still unused but in true Lucy fashion, she refused. I don't think anybody who has known her is going to be surprised by this because she has always been a spoiled and selfish brat and this was exactly what I expected from her. But for whatever reason, Peter was surprised, and while telling me what Lucy had said, I could see that he really hadn't seen this coming,

which just speaks volumes about how naive and blind he had been. Apparently, Lucy had told him that she already felt very emotionally attached to that gift and she was really sorry. But she couldn't return it to him and even when Peter requested her to understand his situation, she started throwing a temper tantrum and told him that once he had already gifted her something, he couldn't take it back and asked him to go away after they got into an argument over this. Then, he decided to call his parents, and while his father was at least sympathetic with him, his mother told him outright that he had no business asking for his gift back, and that Lucy

was right, she was not obliged to return it to him. They told him to figure out another solution on his own and left it at that. After that, he even reached out to his younger brother out of desperation, but my brother-in-law straight up refused to get involved. So when nobody from his family had come to his rescue, he had decided to come to me with nowhere else to go. All of a sudden, he had a conscience and he felt like he needed to talk to me, which he obviously did because he had nobody else on his side right now. He told me that now, he would have to dip into our savings for another $25,000 so he could clear the payment by

the end of the week or else he would be in big trouble at work and might even get fired and he couldn't afford that. Peter also said that he could have easily withdrawn the money beforehand and then told me about it after it was already done, but because he wanted to be honest with me and show me how sincere he was about his apology. He had decided to approach me before he did any of that so he would have my consent since it was money that belonged to both of us. I could tell that he was just grasping at straws because he didn't want to lose me, but he also didn't want to lose his money so, he had come to me, pretending as if he was really sorry about what had happened. So I told him that since he had screwed up personally, the $25,000

he needed to return would have to come out of his own pockets and not from our joint savings. I also told him that he hadn't been doing me a favor by coming to me and telling me about his intentions of withdrawing another huge sum of money from our joint account just so he could cover up his own mistakes. I would have found out about it eventually because this time, the bank would definitely notify me since I had enabled the alerts again and I was not staying with him, so he couldn't disable it without my knowledge. The only reason he was even apologizing to me right now was because he felt guilty since I had been right about everything, especially about Lucy, and since nobody from his family was on his side. He needed me to be there for him. I told him that

he was an extremely selfish man and that I did not have any intention of agreeing to his plan of withdrawing the money from our savings. He had to use his personal savings for it because he was the one who had messed up. And if he was really sorry, then he would not argue with me, but he still continued to fight with me and told me that he was the one who had been saving money all on his own for the past couple of months and I hadn't been able to make a single contribution because I hadn't even been working. So just to make things fair, I should have agreed to his terms, but I was being unreasonable and he told me that as his wife, I should stand by him in such difficult time since he had ended up in a fight with his family and has also lost a huge

project on the same day. I just reminded him of what he had said to me and he had insulted me on purpose the other day at the party and then I told him that I had behaved with him in the same way and put him down like that. He wouldn't have thought twice before filing for a divorce, but at least I was still trying to make it work and giving him a chance to fix things because I loved him. And to defend himself, he couldn't come up with anything valid so he just started yelling about how money isn't everything and that I should think about his feelings in a situation right now as well instead of being just as selfish as his family. I literally laughed out loud when he said that money wasn't everything because if it wasn't, then why not sacrifice your own money instead of our joint savings?

He had no answer for that, so I told him that ultimately, it was his call what he wanted to do since technically, I couldn't stop him from using the money from our savings account. But I had made up my mind about what I wanted to do when I was going to speak to a lawyer the next day and put an end to all of this. I was done being pushed around and made to feel bad about myself, so I told him that I was no longer willing to fight for our marriage anymore. When I implied that I was going to speak to a lawyer and file for divorce, he completely lost it and started screaming at me, telling me that I was being selfish and unreasonable. Then, from yelling at me, he went to just screaming in general about how everything was unfair

and how everyone was letting him down in ways that he didn't even know were possible. At that point, I felt kind of bad for him because he had lost a huge project at work that day, then his family had let him down, and after that, when he came to me to feel better, I also told him that I was not going to be there for him anymore. Needless to say, his day was not going very well, and he started having a breakdown in the living room. At that moment, I really didn't know what to say or do for him because on one hand, I felt terrible, but on the other hand, I couldn't forget the insult. So I just ended up standing there quietly for a few minutes before going to his side, patting him on the back, and telling him that everything was going to be fine

eventually, but he needed to pull himself together. I tried to be as kind of. I tried to be as kind as possible, but in my head, I had already made up my mind that I was going to leave him, and I was firm about it. A couple of minutes later, once he was done having a breakdown, he just abruptly got up and left without even saying goodbye. After he left, I called up our family lawyer and explained the situation to him and he put me in touch with a divorce attorney late at night and on the phone call itself, we decided to meet today and within this week, we are going to file for a divorce. I was pretty sure about everything until this morning, but then I received a text from Peter, saying that he was sorry about everything and that he was going

to pay the $25,000 out of his own pocket and not use our savings. He told me that he hadn't been thinking straight last evening and he had been a complete mess because he had lost a big project, which is why he had ended up acting out like that. But he really wanted to make it work with me and he knew that I loved him and he loved me too, so he wanted to give us one final chance and wanted me to consider it as well. So now, I'm suddenly having second thoughts about getting a divorce from him because I do love him, but I know that right now, leaving him would be the best choice for me. But for him, it might lead to another breakdown and I don't know what to do. I'd defer wanting to leave my husband when he's already going through a rough patch.

Update 1. For days have passed since I posted and I decided to go through with the divorce and told my lawyer that I wanted to file the petition. It was not an easy decision to make for me because I genuinely used to think that Peter was my soulmate. But in light of recent events, I don't think I can go on pretending to believe that because it's obviously not true. If it had been, he never would have said the things that he said, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't get it out of my head. His behavior recently has been terrible and I'm not the kind of woman who is going to put up with this just because I love him and he needs to realize that. Maybe there are better people than me with bigger hearts who would be willing to forgive in such situations,

but that is not me and I feel really sorry for us, both of us, since neither of us had wanted things to end this way, but it is what it is. After the message that Peter had sent me a few days ago, I didn't reply to it for a couple of days, but yesterday, I told him that I was really sorry, but I had decided that I was going to go through with the divorce because I couldn't be with him anymore. Even if I wanted to, things would never go back to the same way that they were before all of this took place. And maybe it was better for both of us to try and move on because clearly, neither of us were happy with each other anymore. I told him that I hoped that he would understand and then I blocked him because I didn't want to hear back from him again because this is quite

difficult for me as it is. I didn't want it to get worse. I've been miserable but, thankfully, my parents have been very supportive and they think that I'm doing the right thing for myself. I don't know if it's the right thing for Peter, but that's his lookout now. Update 2. So Peter was served with the divorce papers today, almost five days after we filed the petition and he came over in the evening. He had a bunch of bags with him and when I opened the door to him, he told me that he had packed all my things that I had left behind in the house and brought them all to me because I would probably be needing them. I could tell that he was very upset and had probably been crying in the car before he came here, but I didn't want to discuss

it because that would just make things unnecessarily awkward and difficult. But he wanted to talk about it, so while I was bringing the bags inside, he asked me how we managed to go from planning a baby a couple of weeks ago to getting divorced now and I honestly did not know how to answer that. I still tried, though, and I told him that he had been quite unkind to me, and by the time he realized that I was right, it was way too late for us to fix things. He tried telling me that it was not too late, since the divorce had only been filed, and it hadn't actually been finalized, we could still try couples counseling and try to make it work,

but I shut it down instantly. For couples counseling to work, both of us would have to be willing to try and make it work and I wasn't willing to do that anymore. I had kept my dignity and self-respect several times in the past, but I wasn't willing to do that anymore because, at some point, you just started feeling like a push over and a complete doormat. And just because I loved him, it did not give him the right to walk all over me and not expect me to stand up against it. So while it was really sad that we had gone from planning a family to getting a divorce in just a couple of months, I think it was for the best that we hadn't actually gotten pregnant because that would have only complicated things even more. Then once all the bags had been brought inside,

I tried to wish him the best for the future and say goodbye to him, but he had already turned around and started to leave. So I ended up saying nothing and just shut the door after he left. I don't think he realizes that this is just as difficult for me as it is for him and has only been thinking about himself, which I think is pretty selfish. It just makes me believe that I'm doing the right thing by getting a divorce because if I had actually decided to have a baby with him, I'm pretty sure he would have been just as self-centered and my personal life and mental health would have gone for a toss. I know that he was trying to kind of emotionally manipulate me into coming back by bringing up the topic of starting a family, believing that maybe that would make me reconsider everything, but it had the opposite effect in now. I'm even more determined to end this marriage as soon as possible. Update 3, so two months have passed since I filed for a divorce and today, we finally managed to get it finalized.

We don't really have a waiting period here in my state, so things were wrapped up relatively quickly. I'm very grateful for all the help from my lawyer to make the mediation sessions as easy and peaceful for me as possible because I had been having a very hard time coming to terms with the divorce emotionally and was on the verge of crying every time I would have to see him. As much as I want to deny it, I can't say that I don't love him anymore. But ultimately, that didn't matter because I think everyone knows that you need more than just love to make a marriage work. I know for a fact that even he loves me because he handed me a letter today and told me to read it once I got home and I did.

In the letter, he basically just apologized for everything that he had put me through and told me that idea served way better and he was too late to realize it. But now that he knew, he was going to try and become a better man, so maybe in the future, if I wanted to, then we could give this another shot since he can't imagine his life with anybody else apart from me. He told me that he would love to be friends and at least be a part of my life in any capacity that he could because he didn't want to completely lose me, but he would understand if I was not open to it right now. He just wanted me to keep an open mind and think about it for the future and I guess I will

do that but right now, I need my space and I need to be away from him to move on and heal. I'm hopeful that may be something in the future when circumstances are better and he is a changed man, we might be able to make it work, but for now, I just want to focus on my new business and be free for a while. All our assets and money have been divided and I'm pretty sad, but I'm trying to cope with it. I'm taking one day at a time, like most people have advised me to and I don't know how things are going to turn out in the future, but I know that right now, I have done what was best for me and I'm going to try and not have any regrets. I'm going to start this new chapter of my life by channeling all my energy into my business which I started because I hadn't been able to

find anything that I liked in the job market, so I created a job for myself and fingers crossed. Life will go well now. I hope you enjoy this story. Relatives implore me to continue being the responsible sibling and act as a peacemaker, but after enduring numerous hardships, I have reached my breaking point. Additionally, this marks one of my initial contributions, so please forgive me for any mistakes. So, some context. My mother has two children, me, 24F, and my younger sister, 15F. Her and my dad were never together, but when she got pregnant with my sister all those years ago she married my stepfather out of wedlock. My stepfather is much, much older and was pretty wealthy at the time. When my mother decided to marry my stepdad, she packed me up and moved us

four hours away from my grandparents, my primary caregiver since I was born, and my dad. I won't get too far into what my life was like after I moved in, but it is worth mentioning I suffer from diagnosed C PTSD and severe anxiety from my years of living with them. My sister never had a chance. From the start she's been spoiled. Not just spoiled, spoiled, spoiled rotten. As the years went on I tried to tell my mother and stepdad that she would not just grow out of it like they said she would. I've had friends compare her to Varuka from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She screams, throws things, hits people, threatens to lie to CPS, calls our mother a whore slash fat cow slash depressed loser, and calls her father an old man. For heaven's sake, she called her 95-year-old grandmother an old bitch and stomped on our other grandmother's foot.

She is out of control. What is done about this? Well, their idea of discipline is, nothing. Her dad is considerably older and doesn't want to make her hate him for the short amount of time he has left with her. So he leaves the discipline to our mother who is mentally very unstable and crumbles easily. Because my sister is so outwardly difficult, I've always been revered as the good child. To be clear me being the good child included my silence and compliance. I had to be responsible and mature for my age because my stepdad and mother were not.

Because of this, and some guilt, my mother and stepfather have always overly relied on me. I'm the one who placates, who mediates, who tried to parent their kid but was constantly undermined. It caused me to have several severe relationship issues as an adult. After high school, I moved out and went to college. I attended therapy, and started to learn that my people pleasing for my people pleasing for living with them was crippling me. So I've slowly started stopping. The last key component to the context is they my mom and stepdad do not support me. Even when I lived with them in high school, every dime for lunch money or new clothes came from my grandparents. Even my car was given to me by

my grandparents at 18. They've paid one semester of my jukko, roughly 2,500, and to their credit they did pay for my braces when I was 10. However, this pales when compared to the 10k a semester they spend on her private school tuition, her $1,000 monthly allowance they put on her debit card, her new Porsche car which she can't even drive yet, plus so much more. My mother even asked me to give up my birthday last year to attend my sister's cheer nationals in Florida, which I did to be a good sister, but there was no such thing for me when I was in high school. For the record, I understand most of this money is my wealthy stepdad. I am not delusional to the fact that I am not his kid and therefore shouldn't expect support from him. However, they expect me to support them.

Now I'm at a head. I've always relented and gone to my mother's house on Christmas Eve to wake up and open gifts Christmas morning because it's important to her but I don't believe I'm there because she wants me to be, but mostly so I can mediate. My sister always makes a spectacle of Christmas Eve. Last year our mother put $4,000 worth of gifts under the tree for her and me both and my sister was not happy with a single gift that she asked for. I'm talking screaming, throwing gifts in the trash, biting, scratching. All at 14 years old. Christmas Day has always ended in screaming in tears. I hate Christmas because of this. This year, I wanted to spend it with my grandparents and see my dad over the holiday. This was not taken well. I get told by my grandmother

that I'm the only thing keeping my mom same. It was implied a good kid would want to spend time with her family and sister on Christmas and I told her that my younger sister has gotten so much more than me, money, opportunities, support, etc., and she gets to be horrible to our mother and get rewarded for it. Why should I be a good kid if I'm not getting anything in return? Why should I spend a holiday with family that makes it horrible over my grandparents who are actually supporting me. My grandma said that this was a horrible thing to say. She begged me not to say this to my mother and to just put up with it. This is not how my grandparents raised me to be or think, but it's not so much about the money

as it is just the blatant usage of me. Some part of my feels greedy and spoiled for being upset over the difference in support, but somehow it still just feels so wrong to keep giving into them. What is keeping me at bay is that my grandparents have never steered me wrong, but I sometimes wonder if what was done to me gets forgotten about because my mother is mentally ill and does suffer, and my sister is like this because it's all she's ever known. I can't help but feel like I can't relent on this one, though, that my boundaries are being trampled. So, Ida for wanting to say this to my mother. If yes, what else do I do? Thank you in advance for reading.

comments where op has replied. Intrepid underscore potential six do you want to be paid to go to her house for Christmas? Look. Go be happy. But that is just not a good move, essentially losing all class and character and blackmailing for your attendance. Just don't go. NTA for not wanting to go, but you would be if you paid that pay me card. Oop, I'm not asking for monetary gain. I'm asking them to stop using.

me as their support, financial, emotional, etc. When they haven't shown me any since I moved in with them at ten years old. It's always been this big deal of well you came out of it a better person and they can't help it, and you're out of it now but I'm still suffering from the damage they caused. My sister suffers. My grandparents suffer. They suffer. But instead of owning up to anything they'd all rather pretend to have another happy Christmas. I'm ready to I'm ready to bring everything to a head but then comes the hard truth I can't be the golden child with nothing in return but misery. Eip nip which grandma is this?

Why doesn't she support you being independent form you mother and trauma? You won't have them forever, why don't they want you to spend the time with them who love you then with your spoiled sister? Boop these are my maternal grandparents. Although my grandpa is not my blood grandpa and not my mom's biological dad, Her dad denounced her on his deathbed. My mother has always had this jealousy when it comes to my grandparents, my grandma in particular. When under the influence she's told me several times I'm sorry I wasn't the mother you needed or I'm your mom, not her.

My grandmother I think parents from guilt a lot for my mom because she's mentally ill and was an addict. We all sympathize with my mom and her situation of not being stable and stuck in a marriage we don't think she'd ever choose to be in now. However, I for some reason get the brunt of bearing the emotional load. My grandma does try to lessen it, but my mom wants me because having me around lessens her guilt, I believe. This 514 I get that another part of the problem is that your grandparents are asking you to do this to support your mother, their daughter, I'm guessing. It might be worth explaining that you need a break or you're going to snap and you don't want to add more drama to an already fraught situation. frame it as a temporary break to your grandparents just to get some breathing space until your mother's current family unit finds a new balance. That will probably end up being never, but at least it

gives you time. And if they insist, suggest that they go and support your mother while you spend Christmas with your dad if they want her load to ease so much. They don't want to deal with your sister either, so that should help them understand what they're asking you. Oop yes, this is a big part of the problem. My grandparents have done so much for me that they shouldn't have had to do because I'm not their child, yet they did. I will forever be indebted to them and if they ask anything of me I agree without hesitation. So what this situation really boils down to is that if I'm not there, the drama and emotional burden falls on my grandmother. She's elderly, sickly, and I just can't let them happen without some sort of plan. Update 1, January 30th, 20th,

I took a lot of advice for my original post. Just felt like I should update things on here and get some advice in turn. Christmas went unexpectedly well, but not for the reasons one would think. I ended up not saying anything harsh to my mother. I stayed with my grandparents as long as I could then made the three-hour drive up to mother and stepdad. My stepdad's family has always been so kind and treated me like family, so I enjoyed going over there and spending. time with them. My mother and stepdad left the get-together early on Christmas Eve. Come to find out, my sister had opened all of her gifts earlier that day before I got there.

When she realized she didn't get everything she wanted, she took a couple of my presents and threw them in the pool. Luckily I asked for a lot of cat toys for my cats, and those are the things she threw in and they were fine after they dried. I spent the night with my mother and stepdad while my sister stayed with her aunt and cousins, and I opened my presence peacefully on Christmas morning before heading to see my dad. All things considered, it was a nice holiday compared to the others we've had. What comes after is unfortunately not an improvement. It seems like my sister's behavior is on a steady decline. For some context, last year my sister messaged me with a picture of her with a fat lip saying our mom hurt her. I was so angry,

I called her aunt to pick her up and told her she was not allowed to go back and if they had a problem I would call the cops. When talking to my mother she had a severe black guy where my sister had attacked her. I didn't care who started it, I just thought it should never have had to escalate to that. She spent the summer with her aunt, CPS investigated and found no abuse in the home. Both my mom and sister went to therapy. My sister wanted to go back to her parents before school started. Now, presently, my sister has learned that she can abuse our mom and get away with it. I have gotten three phone calls where I've seen my mom with black eyes, scratches, or marks from my sister.

I've witnessed her snatch a wig off my mother's head and ripped her hair out. My mother lacks confidence because her husband insults her on the daily, and my sister will destroy anything that could bring her confidence. I've witnessed her poor Starbucks into my mom's makeup bag, cut her wig, etc. She's thrown glass mugs at my mother too. The last phone call I got from my mother was her with another black eye, and she said that my stepdad tried to spank my sister but she just rolled her eyes. Apparently he took her phone away too, but only for two hours. My stepdad does not stand up for my mother, and she has no power and no money to enforce over my sister's head. My sister says they can't do anything either, or she'll call CPS on them.

When my mother called me this last time I basically just shrugged and told her I didn't know what else to tell her. Sent her to boot camp, a mission trip, turn off her phone, something. But it's all things I've said before. I've toyed with the idea of getting the law involved, but how seriously do they take child to parent abuse? Wibta if I did that? Any advice is appreciated, and thanks for reading my vent post. Edit, going no contact is almost impossible. I owe my entire life to my grandparents and if I go no contact with my mom slash stepdad

the burden falls onto my grandmother, who I'm sure my mom would hound to get to me. I am taking steps to go low contact, though. Edit 2, just found out my sister's aunt, my stepdad sister, was told about the abuse from my mom. My aunt would like to hold a meeting and intervention with the whole family, me and the parents included. I will not be part of the disciplining process, but I absolutely will be giving my two cents on everything. Come to find out it's my aunt paying for my sister's very expensive school, and she's now threatening to pull her from that school if she does not agree to a six-week anger management outpatient thing. My sister is incredibly snobby and has said before she'd rather die than go to public school. She also loves her cheerleading team.

I will keep updating. Comments where Op has replied. Serolientier, but get your mom to put up hidden nanny cams in her house so the next time your half-sister hurts her, it's on camera. And when half-sister pulls the CPS bullshit again, your mom will have footage in case she does call them. She can also take the footage to the police and press charges. Maybe juvenile detention or jail will teach you. the spoiled brat she can't just get away with everything. Boop I've been telling my mom to record her, at least what she says in voice memos, but my sister gets my mom in such a tizzy she forgets to do it

in the moment. I have a couple of recordings, but just if her being insanely bratty and mouthy. Nothing legally incriminating sadly. A secret can might do the trick if I can convince my mom to put it up. Sike Brook 3. It sounds like your mother is desperate for your help. Maybe you even a way out, even if that only means a roof and four walls. Oop I have tried to help as much as I can between my means. She doesn't want the advice or solutions I give her. She doesn't want to bring up the problem to anybody or do anything drastic, which I realize is also a pattern of abuse but there isn't anything else I can do.

I called CPS before and they found no abuse. If I called the cops they'd all pretend like everything was fine. Penguin in a jacket this is really just a sad situation. The only way I can really see to fix this is to have your mother and stepdad divorce to just sever the tie of your awful step-sister. Or send her to a camp, but it's very unlikely. The way you're feeling is very real your burnout of trying to put out fire on someone else's house. Unfortunate but not your problem. Your mother's getting beaten by a child and your stepdad wants a brat to like him before he dies.

If you can't step away from the situation at least protect yourself emotionally. And understand that really, Terese, nothing you specifically can do to fix other people OOP through therapy I've begun the process of peeling away emotionally. I will always have sympathy and compassion for my family, for anyone, but I've realized there's nothing more I can do. I've come to terms with the fact I might have to always keep this part of my family at arm's length to truly be able to breathe. These are the final steps to keeping it that way until they change something.

The sad part is my mom had made changes by leaps and bounds she's quit alcohol, quit abusing her pills, gone to psychotherapy and gotten her bipolar under control and stuck she is so much more controlled than my sister and stepfather bring out the worst in her still, for their benefit. A valencade if you're in the states many states have elder abuse laws. It sounds like stepdad qualifies. Not sure about mom. In FL, it's a felony. OOP if I got them involved my stepdad and mom would play dumb and deny everything. They're too embarrassed to bring shame upon themselves from what they've raised sadly.

Now on to the next story. Story 2. Found out my wife cheated on me with a friend of mine, now her life is a mess, as my kid kids informed me. I, 35 male, was married to my ex-wife 35, for 10 years. The two of U.S. got married straight out of high school. People warned us against it, telling us it was way too soon and we should just wait. Finish college first, start a career, and then see where we were at was what they wanted us to do. Me being a fool in love meant that I didn't care what any of them had to say. We had been dating since sophomore year of high school so I thought I knew.

knew everything and found my forever person. My wife at the time seemed to be on the same page. So, we got married and went to the same college. The two of us lived in married coupled housing which was helpful for us. Even though we were busy with college, I felt that our marriage was at its strongest in college. After we graduated, we got our apartment and jobs in our chosen fields. Things from there still seemed great. Slowly we were building our future. We were building our future. The people who had been against us in the beginning and warned us against marriage were wrong. They had since come to support us. Her family was like my second family, so after marrying her I did gain a lot more family members. It was about a year and a half before our 10th anniversary when I

noticed something was going on with my wife. She was more distant and didn't want me to ever touch her. I attributed it to me working a lot lately and just being very busy, I decided to make it up to her, by planning a romantic night. She ended up not coming home that night and used the excuse that she was staying with a friend. Like I said, I had no reason not to believe or trust her, so I assumed she was telling the truth. The closer we got to our 10th anniversary, the more it continued.

My wife was even more indifferent to me than ever and was hardly home. It was at this point I realized the chances of her having an affair was high so I used one of those Apple Ayer tags. I was ashamed to use it but I had to find out. Instead of going to a friend's house like she said, she was across town in the opposite direction. I drove there and waited for her to come out. She did come out arm in arm with some heavily tattooed and pierced guy.

Compared to my straight-laced self who always played by the rules it was quite a shock. I took a video and quietly drove home. When she got home I didn't say anything and just played the video for her. After the shock wore off, she started yelling at me for planning an air tag in her car and following her. It was creepy apparently. The logic she was spewing was just very hard to follow. I just waited until she quieted and asked why. My wife claimed she needed someone more exciting and not as boring as I was.

Working hard to provide a good life for us wasn't what she wanted. I pointed out that by working so much I was able to help us afford a nice house, car, etc. But my wife just told me she wanted more. If what she wanted was something more than I was fine with that. True to her word, my wife wanted out as quickly as possible. With me being the breadwinner, she could have gotten a lot of money and spousal support out of me. However, she seemed more focused on the ink being dry on the divorce papers than anything else. She wanted so badly to be with her precious app who was her true soulmate. I was just a stop along. the way to finding him her words and not mine. If that's what she wanted then fine. The agreement

ended up with me getting the house, dog, and more than half the money in the joint account. I was shocked that all she wanted was the car to be paid off completely and no alimony. I guess my ex wanted a complete break for me which was why she agreed to such a clean split. Did it hurt? Yeah, of course it did, but if that was how she wanted it then so be it. It was probably better for me as well to get a clean break. From the day our divorce was final, I had no contact with her because I saw no reason why I should continue to have her in my life. However, we did have mutual friends and I still kept in contact with some of her family members, so I was still privy to certain things that were going on in her life.

The app or the new love of her life was gone within a year of the divorce. He dumped her for someone else, which sent her into a tailspin. Since she had been staying at his place, it left her with no place to go. My ex couldn't go back to her parents because they had disowned her pretty much, and still talked to me to this day. Last I heard, my ex-wife had been living in a small apartment with her sister and the new love of her life. She's working two jobs to make ends meet and is in debt. Had she pushed for more during our divorce, then she'd she would have had more money as well as alimony to fall back on. I mean, I wasn't complaining, but if she had been thinking with her head instead of her, she would have been better off.

To make it weirder, her new boyfriend has the same name as me. I'm not sure how to feel about that so I choose not to think of it very often or at all. It just seems a little taboo to date someone with the same name as your ex. Like you wouldn't date someone that had the same or similar name of a family member so why one with the same name as your ex-husband? It just didn't make sense to me, but when it came to my ex, there were a lot of things I didn't understand and would probably never understand either. She was my past anyway, so I didn't need to worry myself sick when it came to my ex-wife. It's been a few years since our divorce and while my ex-wife's life has been a downward spiral, mine has been great. I got remarried about three years ago and the two of us are currently

having our first child. Trusting another woman was difficult for me so it took me a while to even think about dating again. My now wife was very patient, however, and was willing to wait for me as long as she needed. Eventually, I felt ready to date again and it led to a second marriage. I have even reached a new level of success. My wife and I managed to sell the old house I had with my ex, buy a bigger one, and even have savings to spare. Both of us had lucrative careers, though my wife planned to go on maternity leave once the baby was born. If my ex knew about my new life, then she is yet to reach out to me.

I doubt she ever will, which suits me fine. There is no need for her to ever speak again, but sometimes I do wonder if she regrets having an affair and hurrying through a divorce so she could be with her app. Chances are my ex regrets it, but what comes around goes around. For my ex, truer words had never been spoken. I hope you enjoy this story. Closest companions since secondary school excluded me from her marriage ceremony at the 11th hour. Currently, she is attempting to make me feel guilty for not contributing to their post-wedding trip because they are financially struggling.

All right, let me clarify the situation. My friend, let's call her Sarah, and I have been tight since high school. We've been through everything together, breakups, makeups, you name it. So when she got engaged, I was over the moon for her. Fast forward to a few months before the wedding. Sarah sends out the invitations, and I'm psyched to RSVP. But then, out of nowhere, she texts me saying that she's had to cut down the guest list due to budget constraints, and unfortunately, I didn't make the cut. I was devastated. I get that weddings are expensive and all, but to un-invite me after we've been friends for so long?

Ouch. Fast forward again to the wedding day. I see all these photos on social media, and it looks like a fairy tale. But here's the kicker, Sarah texts me later that week asking for money to help cover the costs of the wedding. Apparently, they went over budget, and she's asking all the guests who didn't attend to chip in. I was floored.

Not only did she un-invite me, but now she expects me to foot the bill for a wedding I didn't even get to go to. I told her no way. I refused to pay a single dime. But now she's saying I'm being selfish and unsupportive. Am I the asshole here, read it? Or is Sarah out of line for expecting me to pay for her mistake? More context. This happened about a week ago, and I tried talking to her about it again. She relented that the two have been having financial struggles, and this time she respected me not wanting to pay for her wedding. However, she still wants me to consider helping out in other ways, like pitching in for the honeymoon or contributing to future expenses.

I appreciate that she's acknowledging her financial difficulties, but it still feels like she's trying to guilt-trip me into footing the bill for her wedding in some form or another. I'm torn because, on one hand, I want to be supportive and help her out during a tough time, but on the other hand, I can't shake off the feeling that I'm being taken advantage of. I'm not sure how to proceed from here. Should I continue to stand my ground and refuse any further financial involvement? Or should I try to find a compromise that works for both of us? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Comments, Speedy 89T, no, you're not. Asking for money, especially from people who didn't get invited, is one of the most absurd things I've ever heard in my entire life. Affectionate Poet 4586, it's even worse. Op was invited, then got cut, then goggled at the wedding photos on social media, and then got hit up for money. Ria Mayan, uninvited for budget constraints, but still went over budget, and now asking an uninvited guest to pay to cover the budget that she was uninvited

for because of the budget. Skeptical my head is spinning. PNED 4WEED 22, asking the guests who didn't attend for money. They aren't guests if they didn't attend LOL. She is just begging regular people for money. It takes a very entitled, selfish type of person to even want an extravagant wedding anyway, so it's no surprise she is entitled and selfish. That's shit for rich people.

If you have to budget for it at all you can't afford it, period. Trailsia, NTA, and I hope you know you are. I would stop this friendship entirely. Send her a few laughing emoticons-slashed gifts and then block her. One of the tackiest things I have ever heard. Kat underscore own op, thank you for your support and understanding. It's been a roller coaster of emotions dealing with this situation. To add a bit more context, Sarah and I had always been there for each other,

so her decision to uninvite me really caught me off guard. I tried to rationalize it, thinking maybe she was underwent. a lot of stress or pressure to cut costs, but it's still hurt nonetheless. I don't want to cut her off as she helped me through some tough times. Is there anything else I can do in the situation? Trailsia, no problem smile I normally don't advise people to troll people, but in this case, I would personally troll her in the most childish of ways with laughing emoticons and memes. Not saying you should. Wild guess, but you must also have helped her through tough times, so I'd say you're probably even or more than even.

This friendship will never be the same. You will resent her for uninviting you. She will resent you for not paying. I'd focus on making new friends or spending more time with other people. Stop clinging to this fake friendship. Deleted, I wonder how the other uninvited guests feel about being asked for money. Maybe it's a tradition somewhere, but I think it's tacky a F. skew wagon, okay, a reality check, please.

Who, being an adult and in their right mind, expects other people to pay for their luxuries? Mind you, a wedding, guests, honeymoon, whatever, it is not a necessity, it's a luxury. You have to budget, and if you can't budget, why the hell should other people pay for that? Would she pay for your vacation so you can have some fun because you're tired from work? No. What's the difference? That's just crazy. She shows you zero respect and zero care for your feelings and just trying to use and guilt trip you.

And she literally threw you out of her wedding and still feels it's okay to ask you for money, like you're a dormant. That's just odd behavior. It's very selfish to care about your well-being instead of catering to other people expensive wants. Yes. You may tell her you're very selfish and you shouldn't be friends. Oop, thank you for your reality check. You're absolutely right, expecting others to pay for luxuries like weddings and honeymoons is unreasonable, especially when it comes at the expense of someone's feelings and boundaries.

It's been a tough pill to swallow, realizing that Sarah may not value our friendship as much as I thought she did. The fact that she uninvited me from her wedding and then tried to guilt-trip me into covering expenses feels like a betrayal of trust. I've come to realize that I need to prioritize my own well-being and not allow myself to be taken advantage of. It's clear that Sarah's behavior is selfish and disrespectful, and I shouldn't feel obligated to cater to her expensive wants at my own expense. It's going to be hard, but I think it's time to reevaluate this friendship and set some boundaries moving forward. Your words have given me the clarity and confidence to stand my ground. Thank you for your support.

Update, Hey everyone, Boop here with an update about refusing to pay for my friend's wedding because she uninvited me. Firstly, I want to express my gratitude to all 700 plus of you who took the time to read my story and offer your thoughts. Your support and perspectives have been invaluable during this challenging time. Since my last update, there have been some significant developments. Sarah saw the post and confronted me, things got heated. There was yelling, emotions ran high, and in the end, I made the difficult decision to go no contact with Sarah. While it was a tough choice to make, I realized that the toxicity in our relationship had reached

a point where it was no longer healthy for either of us. Despite my initial hopes for reconciliation, it became clear that certain underlying issues in our friendship needed to be addressed and resolved before any meaningful progress could be made. Going no contact was not a decision I made lightly. but rather one born out of necessity for my own well-being and mental health. It's never easy to distance yourself from someone you care about, but sometimes it's necessary for personal growth and healing. I want to thank everyone once again for their support and encouragement throughout this journey. Your words have been a source of strength and comfort during a challenging time in my life.

Moving forward, I'm focused on prioritizing self-care and surrounding myself with positive influences. While it's sad to say goodbye to a friendship that once meant so much to me, I'm hopeful that this decision will ultimately lead to greater happiness and fulfillment in the long run. Thank you all for being a part of my story and for your unwavering support. Comments Uncle Niedy's dead, Sarah saw the post and confronted me, things got heated. If she was anything but embarrassed about her choosing beggar ways and apologetic for how she treated you, she is no friend.

Foggy days and nights, it's so ridiculous when people get angry about being exposed because no real names are used, 99% of the time, and no way for the guilty to be rounded up and derided. Uncle Niedy's dead, narcissists can't stand the idea that anyone would think badly of them, even if it's online and relatively anonymous. Someone might recognize it and know her actions don't reflect kindly on herself. cat underscore own op some of you also didn't asking for her contact info but i don't think that is the mature thing to do i just want to move past this altruistic cable car yeah if you handed that out you'd be a massive awe sorry about having to go nc but seems like it was the only way forward

to keep yourself sane best of luck cat underscore o'nop it hurts because she helped me when i was battling depressed and low on money, but thank you for your understanding and support. It wasn't an easy decision to go no contact, but sometimes it's necessary for self-preservation. Your words mean a lot to me, and I appreciate your well-wishes. Here's to prioritizing our mental health and moving forward towards a brighter future. Take care. No underscore Wallaby underscore 5,110. Look, I know you hate giving up on a friendship, but she reads, really isn't much of a friend to you. It's not as much of a loss as you might think.

I had to let go of many friendships that were very one-sided because I thought that's what a friend would do. I was very surprised to learn. When I let go, the other person didn't seem to care at all while I was devastated over the loss. Ironically enough, I was at my dad's funeral, sat at all the friends that didn't show up, and I saw a woman I never would have expected to see in a million years. We were never friends. We never got along. But she came. I asked her why, privately. She said, we may not ever have agreed about anything, but this was your dad. I lost mine a few years ago, and I remembered how it hurts, and I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. Truly sorry. If you need anything, please call. That's when it hit me, my frenemy was a better friend than my

friends. It's been 12 years. She stopped by and checked on my mom several times before she passed away. She came to her funeral too. She helped my siblings, who live nearer to my parents' home than I, find a realtor to sell the house, get help cleaning it out, etc. That is what a friend should be. I never asked her to do those things. She did just did them. Not because she liked me as a person but because she was a caring human being that saw a need and stepped in to fill it. If a friend can't do that as a minimum, they are not a true friend. Ask yourself honestly, does Sarah pass that minimum threshold test? If not, let her go. Don't mourn. Move on. Find better friends. Nitty-ditty, apparently, they went over budget, and she's asking all the guests who

didn't attend to chip in. I cannot think of a single person I know that would be this classless. Not saying they don't exist. Just that I'm grateful that none of them exist in my vicinity. Lemmonly A. F. I also cannot imagine someone doing this, but I guess they exist and I'm just lucky I haven't met one. Seriously, she asked everyone who did not attend to chip in? I can't wrap my head around it. If she asked from the guests who were there, sure, a little tacky, but I can see the logic. But those who were non-guests? Why?

Relentless Dandelion, someone cheated, and it wasn't the koala, I bet she already asked the people who went and didn't get enough takers. CHBA occur in the most cynical take you can have on wedding receptions. The bride and groom are exchanging money for the food and drink at the reception, for large gifts. My wife's aunt and uncle got us a very expensive set of flatware that I still use very cautiously because it's that expensive, and we never would have bought on our own. Plus people are spending money to come into town as well.

They spent money on Sarah, but it's in the form of gifts to start the marriage out. Asking for cash on top of that is just so crass. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Caught my wife cheating with our neighbor in the house we just bought. Now I'm a single dad living off-grid on our farm. My wife, 26 female, and I, 29 male, got married and rented our first apartment for five years. We bought our first house when our child was a year and a half old.

It was a farmhouse that was in foreclosure. The previous owner had split it into a duplex due to the financial hardships they faced. There was another couple living in half of the house when we first moved in. They had 90 days left to vacate. We didn't get to meet or see them at first, but the reality agent told me they homeschooled their kids and lived here for years. Everything was blissful at first. My wife helped me to start unpacking and settling into our new home together. Even our little boy helped us to carry in his toys one at a time. We could finally own animals, so within the first month we got a horse, cow, and chickens.

The three of us spent time with our animals. My wife and I, took turns riding the horse with our son. While we were out, enjoying one of the last days I had off work, something caught my wife's eye. I matched her gaze and saw a very healthy looking man. He was making chopping firewood look easy. I assumed he was our neighbor, but even though he saw us, he didn't say anything. I wondered if he was bitter with me for buying the house that he had been renting for his wife and children for so long. I wondered if they had found a new home, or if they were desperate to stay where they were. I was a nice man, and if they wanted to introduce themselves, they could.

My wife was still staring at him, so I told her to stop. She blushed. I thought about introducing us, but I just wanted my wife to stay away from Mr. Woodchop. While I was at work the next week, my wife told me she got to hang out with the neighbor for a bit. I asked her which one, which caught her off guard for some reason. She admitted it was Mr. Pooler, while Mrs. Pooler was upstairs taking a nap with their kids. She always napped at the same time every day because her medicine exhausted her. I was uncomfortable and she looked embarrassed.

I asked what they did, and she said they just played cards and talked about the benefits of living in the countryside. I thought it was weird and I told her not to spend time with him alone. She rolled her eyes, smiled, and told me not to worry. I asked her if she thought it was funny to spend time alone with another married man. She put her serious face on, but I felt like she was pleased that I was jealous. She told me I needed to trust her and that she would never cheat on me. I told her I didn't want her to spend time with him alone. She agreed, but only because she saw how upset I was getting.

I didn't believe for one second that she understood my reasoning behind it. She denied any wrongdoing. I was off work unexpectedly one day, a week after my wife hung out with the neighbor. I answered a knock at the door. My wife tried to tell me she would answer it, but I was closer, so I answered it. It was Mr. Pooler, with a bouquet of flowers. I took them, confused. He stammered to explain that they were a goodbye gift from his wife.

My wife accepted them, looking quite embarrassed. I told him it was nice to finally meet him. and I introduced myself as my wife's husband, putting my arm around her shoulders and squeezing. She was bright red, staring at the flower petals. Mr. Pooleur swallowed hard and wished us a good evening before fleeing. I put my wife on the spot by asking her why he brought her flowers. She stammered, saying she didn't know why. I told her I didn't believe they were from Mrs. Pooleer,

and she had the nerve to tell me that I was overreacting and thinking too hard about this. She wanted me to drop it and reminded me that I had to work the next day. I was officially suspicious that something was happening between my wife and the neighbor. I installed cameras inside and outside of our house that night, refusing to go to bed until I was done. My wife hated this. She asked me if they would take up all of our solar power, and I said no. She asked me if someone could hack into our camera feed, and I said no. She asked if I could watch her remotely, and I said yes. I got a live feed from it on my phone.

She seemed very displeased for some reason, but tried to recover by saying it made her feel safer. I started watching my wife while I worked. For a week and a half, nothing interesting happened, and I just found it nice to be able to check in on my wife and son while I worked. I started to check the live camera feed less often. Weeks later, I decided to check it. the feed while I ate lunch. My son was sleeping in his crib while my wife was typing on her phone. She set it down, took a pie out of the oven, and headed next door with a big smile on her face.

She was led inside quickly. She was on their side of the house for a while. I could not believe it. When I got home, I asked her what she did, and she said she talked to Mrs. Pooler about homeschooling. I didn't believe her, Saut went next door, despite my wife trying to say that Mrs. Pooleur was sleeping now. I thought it was weird that she was trying to tell me she was sleeping. I knocked on the door and was greeted by Mr. Pooleer. I asked to speak with Mrs. Pooleer so I could corroborate my wife's story. He was immediately defensive and said I didn't need to speak to his wife.

I could just speak to him. I decided to jump in full force and tell him I knew he was sleeping with my wife. It was like he was surprised I said it, but had a planned defense. He smiled nervously and said that was an unfair accusation. That's when his wife started coming down the stairs, rubbing her eyes. She asked what was going on. I asked her if she spoke to my wife earlier in the day, but her husband yelled over me, saying he already answered my question.

Then he slammed the door in my face. I heard them yelling inside, but no one came outside to talk to me. I slept on the couch that night, unsure of what to do. My wife only maintained the same story she told me before. For a few days, nothing interesting happened. I would check the camera feed at work, and my wife was at home. Then, when I least expected it, my wife went back over to their house at the same time as before, this time with cookies.

She was inside for 30 minutes before I decided to go home and see what was happening. I figured since I owned a house now, I could get away with opening their front door. As soon as I did, I saw my wife and Mr. Pooler having sex on their couch. My wife wailed no, and started crying immediately, just as quickly as she started trying to put her clothes back on. Mr. Pooler was frantically trying to dress too, furious with me for opening his front door. The yelling and crying and my claiming to be right all along caused Mrs. Pooler to wake up and come downstairs with the kids. They weren't fully dressed yet, so she immediately assumed the

worst. I told her I just caught them having sex, which really sent her into a spiral of grief. She accused him of breaking vows, breaking her heart, breaking her trust, and breaking apart the family. The kids started crying due to the stress of the situation. We both kicked out our spouses. Despite their lies, objections, and grief, my wife tried to say it was a stupid mistake, blaming the temptation of having another man right next door, instead of taking accountability for the fact that she cheated on me, her loving, loyal husband and provider. I screamed it in her face. I told her she cheated on me, since she was having trouble accepting this truth.

I told her I wouldn't allow myself to be disrespected in such a way, and I wouldn't call her my wife ever again. In the midst of the yelling and sadness, I ushered her back to our side of the house and forced her to pack her clothes. She was mortified. She didn't want to leave the place we just bought and called home. She didn't want to leave our son, and didn't know where she would go. I told her AP should take care of her, since whatever they had was more important than two long-term marriages with children. She sobbed, shaking her head, admitting that the affair wasn't as valuable as maintaining a happy and successful marriage. She begged me for forgiveness.

Just one more chance to be my wife and have the family and life we expected to have. I told her that life and expectation was gone. The love was, too. I didn't want to love her, because she chose to love another man. My wife was a shaking, sobbing mess when she left at the same time as AP, with her cars packed. It was a terrible, life-altering moment to see her drive away, knowing it was within my power to stop her from leaving. Weeks later, my wife had called twice to talk to our son, but never told me where she was or what plan she'd come up with. We, ex-Mrs. Pooler and I, found out that they moved into an apartment together out of state. I was really surprised that neither of them showed up to the court hearings. Not even for custody.

It was like they encouraged each other not to care. They didn't try to get custody or even visitation. Just before the 90-day limit was up, I agreed to let her and her kids stay on a yearly lease for less rent per month. Now I'm proud to say I live a completely self-sufficient life off the grid with my kids on our farm. Our exes split less than two years after moving in together, after losing all legal rights to their children.

I hope you enjoy this story. Declined to allow my spouse to distribute live pet fish to children at our son's birthday celebration once more following her actions last year that upset all the guardians. Now she called me controlling and were getting divorce. For some context, the story starts last year at our seven-year-old son's birthday party. I, 32M, and my wife, 32F, held the party at our home. We decided to leave the bulk of the planning to my wife, as she loved. this kind of thing and wanted to take the reins. I had no reason to doubt any of her plans, as she did a great job with our past parties. I handled invites, food orders, and anything else

she needed me to do. To her credit, she did a great job with the party itself. Everything ran smoothly and the kids had a great time, until she brought out the party favors that she had kept a surprise from me. They came out when our friend had to leave with her daughter right after the cake. Before she could, my wife went into the back room and came out with the biggest grin on her face. What was inside the bag, you ask? A small tetra fish from the pet store, to be given as a party favor. My friend was flabbergasted. Her daughter's face beamed with excitement at the sight of her new pet.

Mommy. I've always wanted a fish. My friend was at a loss for words, only glaring at me. She declined the fish, walking out of the party while her daughter clung to her, throwing a tantrum about turning down her new pet. Obviously, the chaos caused a scene, as all the children now knew about the fish. Every single parent in the room was pissed. Glaring, muttering, the whole works. What are we going to tell our kids?

Great, now I have to get a fish tank. Most parents obliged and reluctantly accepted the fish. The whole time, my wife was elated at the sight of the happy children, oblivious to how their parents reacted. We ended up having to take a few fish home that had been turned down, meaning we also had to buy a tank. My wife couldn't understand why anyone would pass up a wonderful 50-cent fish she grabbed this morning from Petsmart. Fast forward to now, one year later. It's a month away for my son's eighth birthday party, and my wife broached the topic of party favors. She exclaimed that we should hand out fish again.

The kids loved it, it was a hit last year. I do not want to go through this again. Several of my friends who were at the party complained about having to take care of these fish, being put in a situation where they felt pressured to accept the gift to avoid upsetting their child. They had never received such a ridiculous party favor, and they wouldn't be attending if this was the case again. Not to mention, this feels horribly abusive to the first. who now have owners who don't want them.

My wife brushed all of this off, saying that the parents were being selfish for not thinking about what makes the kids happy. She apparently didn't notice anyone upset at the party, only focusing on how the kids felt. She's calling me controlling, saying she doesn't even want to plan the party if she can't have this her way. All of her small group church friends agree with her. I don't want to upset my friends by putting them in an unfair situation, but I don't want to upset my wife because she truly does enjoy putting these events together. So, Reddit, Ida for

telling my wife not to buy party favor fish? Comments where OP has replied. Comment one. NTA she gave the parents an obligation, not a treat for the children. Oop. I'd be so upset if that happened to me. She has already argued I'd love to receive pets as a party favor. Who wouldn't? She loved. She loved animals and can't understand that other people's situations may not be ideal for adding a pet. Comment 2. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of parents R.SVPD know this year. And if she does fish again, no one will come to her son's parties again after this. She needs to think about her son and his future. She needs to think about the fish. She needs to think about the other parents and her spouse. O.P., instead of getting her jollies off excited while she makes

everyone else miserable. OOP, you're absolutely right. It's so unfair for our son if his friends don't attend BC of her actions. Comment 3. That's not a gift. Your wife is giving out chores and unwanted expenses to those parents. Wife is very selfish for that. Ask her if she is willing to buy the fish tanks, supplies, and food, and is she willing to go

feed each fish daily and clean their tank when needed. I bet she'll say no. OOP, I've asked about the fish tanks and she said that would be too expensive to buy 20 fish tanks. Which I thought would convince this is a bad idea. Comment 4. What? These are live animals, not fucking party favors. NTA OOP, agreed.

Animals, not matter how cheap, should never be treated as party favors. Ever. Comment 5. This is very typical narcissistic behavior. They are never wrong in any other opinion or even an obvious plan opposite their own isn't worthy of consideration. They don't recognize it at all. A narcissist will seldom do the most appropriate thing, choosing something more complicated that will upset a normal person. OOP, you're very intuitive.

I believe you're absolutely right. She just focused on how the kids were so happy and how that encouraged her to do it again. implying it made her very happy seeing the kids happy. Update 1 Hey, it's been nearly a month since I posted about the party favor situation between my wife and I. My son had his birthday yesterday, I wanted to share an update on how everything turned out. I took your guy's advice and decided to just talk to her. I used a lot of your points from the comments to reason with her, especially the ones about

animal abuse. My wife just kept insisting that I was controlling, eventually just shutting down and walking away, giving me the silent treatment. For those of you asking if this has happened before, yes. Not the party situation exactly, but the I'm going to make a horrible selfish decision and if you push back your controlling behavior. She has, backed out of multiple parties and events last minute because she didn't feel like going, and accused me of abandoning her when I told her I still wanted to go insisted I stopped playing guitar because she finds it annoying attended a wedding in a swimsuit because she was told there was a pool. Proceeded to spend the whole reception at the pool because they're your friends, I don't really care about celebrating them pushed back on my insistence to find a new

school for our son, even though he was being bullied, because she didn't feel like causing a scene. Our son is in a new school now, and he's much happier, I was fed up and refused to give in. I can't let my son go through this, and I'm not letting him lose friends because of a my wife's selfishness. After literally following my wife around the house, trying to get her to talk to me, she said fine, if you want it your way, you can plan this party yourself. So, I did. I planned the party myself, besides the invitation, location, and date, which were already planned. My wife also demanded on picking out the cake, and that wasn't a hill I was willing to die on. It wasn't anything special, but I'm actually kind of proud. It was Jurassic Park themed, my son and I just watched

all the movies together, and he adores them. He's really excited for the new one. I themed each table around different dinosaurs, and put little plastic dinosaurs everywhere. As for the party favors, I gave out little bags of candy. Nothing amazing, but the kids were happy, my son was thrilled. and no fish were harmed in the making of this party. After the party, my wife kept telling me how lame everything was. That the party was boring, and the kids weren't literally jumping up and down for my candy party favors like they were for hers. Frankly, I don't care.

Sure, the kids didn't have a brand new pet to bring home, but at least my party favors didn't piss off all of our friends and doom my son to a life of friendlessness. Truly, I don't know how things are going to go with my family. wife and I. I'm reaching my limit with her insanity. I've tried insisting on marriage counseling, but she refused unless it was done by the pastor of our church. We went, and it was a whole session of the pastor telling me I'm not a good enough man to take care of my wife. About how I'm turning away from God with my actions, and that's ruining our marriage. Needless to say, we haven't gone back, and ever since my wife loves to use this session against me in arguments.

I loved her, but I'm finding it harder each day to keep being in love. I hate the idea of my son thinking this is a happy marriage, and that this is a healthy way to live. Divorce scares me, but I don't know if I can live with this anymore. In the end, thank you, for helping me realize that there's a lot going wrong in my marriage, far beyond a forced fish adoption crisis. I have a lot to think about, but for now, I'm going to finish watching Jurassic World with my son, who's curled up in my lap. By the way, two of the three fish we had to take home last year are still going strong.

They've grown on me. But damn, I'm never getting another fish, comments where OP has replied. Comment one. Divorce and happy and focusing on your son is more important than miserable and putting your son in a home with a narcissistic wife. Boop, I can absolutely understand this. My son is my priority. Her church puts a ton of pressure to never divorce.

She gets so much support through them. They view me as the bad guy comment too. Get a divorce and pick the guitar back up. Oop, I actually did pick the guitar back up not too long ago. When my wife realized I wasn't going to stop for good after all, she demanded that I only play when she and our son weren't home, because he finds it annoying too. That last part hurt deeply,

so I asked my son if he's bothered by it at all, and he said no, and that he actually wants to learn how to play too. Is Upp and his wife planning to have another kid? Oop, she keeps asking me to have another kid, because it'll bring us closer and solve our issues. We keep getting asked at church when are you having another one? Absolutely not, I'm not going through this again. Update 2, it's me, the guy with the wife who gave out fish as party favors. I'm back, and I wanted to update you guys again on how things are going, both because I've seen some eagerness for updates and because this has become a great place for me to vent.

To make a long story short, we've decided to get divorced. To make a short story long, here's how we got here. I took a lot of your comments to hear about divorce and abuse. I've taken a lot of immaturity from my wife over the years, but I told myself I was in the wrong. It's easy to see from the outside that I was a lot of. in a bad situation, but when you're in it, you don't realize how tough everything gets because it becomes your normal. The fish story was just a tipping point. We went on vacation a couple weeks ago. We traveled down to Georgia to stay with my wife's parents. To put some perspective

on how I've been manipulated throughout this marriage, my in-laws agree with their daughter on just about every disagreement we've had. They once set me down and lectured me about how I'm not making enough money to support their daughter, that she shouldn't have to work, and that I'm not a good enough man or husband because I don't take her to Disneyland every year. They're very much ingrained in the church culture, hence why my wife relies on her church slash church friends for literally every bit of advice. During our trip, we all went to Cracker Barrel, the whole time, my Mill and Phil didn't talk once to each other. They stared at their phones or at their menus. Everything just felt so cold and uncomfortable.

They weren't in love. They seemed just annoyed to be around each other. And it hit me, that's my wife and I exactly. And that's how it's going to be for the rest of our lives. It's not going to get better. I excused myself to the bathroom and cried. It wasn't about the fish or her wearing a swimsuit to a wedding. I wasn't happy, I was being gaslit constantly, blamed for everything,

and was stuck in an emotionally abusive marriage with a childish wife who won't take no for an answer and wants everything her way, or else I'm apparently a horrible monster. I told my wife later that evening that I wasn't happy with our marriage. Maybe I shouldn't have started this conversation on vacation, but I just needed to get everything off my chest. She admitted she wasn't happy either, but just kept telling me that we should try to make things better. That we needed to stay together for our son. When I asked her what we can do to make things better, she said I don't know, I don't want to talk about this right now. We left it at that and went to bed, we really weren't getting anywhere. We didn't say a word about it for the rest of the trip.

We spent a lot of time apart. I took my son for walks and hikes that my wife didn't want to go on. We all watched movies together, trying to keep the happy act up to avoid ruining the trip for our son. It sucked, but I do think he had a good time regardless of everything. A couple days after we got home from the trip, I got a call from my mom, she was in tears on the other end, asking about my marriage and what was happening between us. Apparently, my wife had called my mom to vent about how terrible of a partner I was, about how I demanded we have sex, not true, our intimacy in general was extremely lacking and she shut down any attempt without negotiation or conversation. I never demanded anything, how I don't make enough to allow her to be a stay-at-home mom. She hates cooking and cleaning, I'm not even sure what she would do all day as a stay-at-home mom,

and again about how controlling I was. I tried reassuring my mom as best as I could, and she said she understood that I had good reasons for how I was behaving in our marriage. But that essentially fractured my relationship between my wife and my mom, and pushed the end of our marriage. I confronted my wife. It wasn't this big dramatic, emotional moment. I was just done. I was apathetic, hollow.

I felt nothing for her anymore. I told her this is not how a person treats someone they love. Do you even love me? After a long pause, my wife said, no. I honestly don't love you. And in truth, I didn't love her anymore. I ended it there, telling her fine, we're getting a divorce. And all she said was that's your decision.

If that's what you want. So, that's where we're at. We haven't started anything legally official yet, but we're on our way. I'm sleeping on the couch, she's declared she wants to keep all the pets, except the fish, of course. My son is taking it well. We told him together, and all he said was it's okay, I knew it. was going to happen soon. He's so incredibly smart and mature at eight years old, and I'm really grateful he understands. We reassured him that we both love him dearly, and that even though this is a

big change, we're all going to do everything we can to make this easy. As for her church, I found out all along she was sleeping with the pastor, nah, I'm just kidding. For some backstory on our church experience, I used to be pretty religious and attended church A with my wife. I started questioning my faith and told her how I was feeling. She got so angry, angrier than I've ever seen her. She tried to hit me, so I blocked her arm. My wife then screamed at me for putting my hands on her, and tried to leave with our son, he was four at the time. I refused to let him go with her, and she stormed off on her own. My wife told all of our church friends how much of a monster I was for what I did, to the point where they started encouraging her to call the police on me,

She never did, she just told me that's what they advised her to do. After that, I refused to go to that church, and later joined Church B, which my wife joined too. She wasn't motivated to go to Church A without me. We left Church B for a multitude of reasons, terrible leadership, money laundering, poor treatment of our son, and my wife insisted we go back to Church A. I tried, but everyone there treated me so coldly. Not once after the incident did any one of my friends from church ask how I was doing or if what they were told was true. I stopped going to church altogether, and she kept going.

Now, they've all but excommunicated me, and I never planned to speak to any one of them again. I have a long road ahead of me. But I'm just grateful to be taking the steps I need to be happy and free from this marriage. Thank you. In a way, I always knew something had to change. But seeing your replies helped validate everything I was feeling, and made me feel a bit less crazy. Next story, boyfriend told me at a public holiday party to find another man who wants to marry me, if I ever change my mind about marriage. Then got mad when another guy asked me out for a serious relationship so I finally left him.

I, 44F, live in a small town, population about 2000. I've been dating my boyfriend, 52M, 480. years. We were at a holiday party in December with probably 200 guests. Someone asked when we were planning to get married. B.F. said never. People continued to press the subject, so I said that neither of us wanted to get married currently, but if it changed we'd be sure to let them know. So BF said, if you ever change your mind about marriage, don't bother talking to me about it. Just move on and find a man who wants to marry you. Everyone was staring. I cried, we went home.

He has brought it up a couple of times since then, but it's not really something I see a point in discussing. He's made it clear from day one that he doesn't want to get married. I don't want to either. I wouldn't have said what he did in public, but it's the truth. The way he said it embarrassed me and it hurt my feelings that he was so flippant about breaking up and going our separate ways after eight years of being in love, but again it's nothing I didn't know from private conversations. Every Tuesday we have dinner with friends at this Mexican restaurant. So last night at dinner a guy that I know socially from living in the same small town walked up and said that he knew I was exclusively dating B.F.

But he just wanted to say that I should call him if I ever decided that I wanted a serious relationship. Then he looked at B.F. and said, nothing personal man. I know we go way back. They are about the same age and hung out in high school and in their early twenties. but if she ever decides she wants more than casual dating, it would be over between you two anyway. After we got home, B.F. was upset with me for not making it clear that we have more than a casual relationship. I told him that I wasn't the one who made our relationship status unclear, and if he felt something was unclear or misunderstood, he could have set things straight himself. Update, after posting I did a lot of reflection on our relationship.

One day I just packed what I had at his house and brought it all to my time. my house while he was at work. When he came home, I told him that I had moved my things out and I wasn't going to be around anymore. I gave him his house key. B.F. feels blindsided by my moving out. He doesn't understand how we went from happy and peaceful to me moving out and living an hour plus away when essentially nothing changed. I still have feelings for him but it wasn't nearly as painful as I expected it to be. I have too many hard feelings towards him for the way he treated me and my kids, especially in the beginning of our relationship to try to salvage anything between us. And I most definitely have too much resentment towards his youngest son, 24M, to ever

consider working on things and trying to be anything that resembles a family with either of them. Eight years and I packed everything I had there in two hours, like I was never there. During the first couple of years I did tell him how he made me feel, but his answer was always this is the deal, take it or leave it. It took eight years but I decided to leave it. I suppose at some point I emotionally checked out of the relationship and just sort of let things be. Many of the issues have just sorted themselves out with time but the underlying herd is still raw. My house really doesn't feel like home to me anymore. I've been staying with my children who are away from home attending college. I've completely moved out of my house and I officially put it on the market

last Friday. For now I'll just commute to work until I figure out what I want to do going forward. Edit, first let me say that I'm absolutely amazed by all your kind words and well wishes. I can't believe how kind of supportive you guys have been. I'll address a couple of the common comments slash questions. First, I guess the most popular is about the guy from the Mexican restaurant. I've spoken to him since, but it's not the fairy tale ending you guys are dreaming of. I'm definitely not in a place where I'm ready to date, and I can't remember his exact words but the jest was he'd be happy to take me out sometime but he was just being dick too. Exed B.F. on purpose because of what he said at the party and other things he'd seen B.F. do

over the years. Very anticlimactic, I'm afraid. Although he does frequently work around where I'm living, so who knows what the future holds. Second, financial concerns. If you guys want to take back all your, I'm proud of you comments, I understand. I really have no excuse for staying. I'm well educated. I earn a good living, well above six figures. I wasn't always but I literally spent 20 years going back to school time and time again.

For the past few years, I've made significantly more money than, XBF. I really have no excuse for why I stay. stayed so long.