Reddit Stories - Betrayed Family Secrets Unveiled ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 49

Episode Date: March 21, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familysecrets #betrayal #drama #emotional #compilation  Summary: In Episode 49 of the series, family secrets are unveiled, leading to shocking betrayals and emotional turmoil. The three-hour compilation dives deep into personal stories, revealing the complexities of familial relationships and the consequences of hidden truths that can change lives forever.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, familydrama, secrets, emotionalstories, personalnarratives, storytelling, relationships, lifechanging, trueconfessions, podcast, compilation, dramaticreveal, familydynamics, trustissues, conflictresolution, hiddentruthsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. Invested all my savings in my unemployed partner as he pursued his ambitions. After one year and $25,000 later, I ended our financial support when he claimed I was his true love. Using him. My boyfriend and I started dating in July of 2014. He is the biggest optimist in the world and lived a pretty cushy life as the only child of divorced parents. We both lived separately and had jobs that covered all our bills and then some.

He bought an expensive sports car, gaming computer, and pure-bred dog, important later. He was in school, while I had graduated a year before and started work at my first big-kid job. Life was great, and the first six months were some of the happiest times of my life. The first week of January 2015, he was wrongfully terminated from his job, a new supervisor was on the warpath to replace everyone on BF's shift with his friends and waited until the new year, after the holiday rush was over, to start cleaning house. Government sided with BF during the unemployment claim, and BF started receiving benefits. He decided to focus on finishing school instead of looking for more work.

This where the crack started. He was supposed to graduate that May, but he failed a class and couldn't, so he had to go to school in the summer. In June, his savings ran out and he could either afford his car payment and insurance or rent. His lease was up at the end of July, so I agreed to pay his rent and he could move in with me in July and finish school. He found out weeks before he was supposed to graduate that he needed one particular elective to get out. He had to go to school that fall, too. I demanded he get a job to help with expenses, as I wasn't planning on having to support him for so long. A month or two, fine. Six months? No. He got a job as an insurance agent for an extremely reputable company at the end of July. Turns out this job is commission-based.

Being the optimist he is, the manager's talk of being able to make unlimited amounts of money drew him in. I paid for him to take the certification tests he needed to work, and he started trying to build a client base selling structured financial products. He made and makes nothing. He'll have a $700 payday for a small clothes, then nothing for months. He's out there busting his ass every day, but building a financial client base from scratch without any family privilege or existing networks is ridiculously hard. In September 2015, we downsized from my fancy downtown apartment to a posse house on the edge of the ghetto. I paid the security deposit and double rent at both places for a month as that's how the lease overlaps worked out, totaling about $3,500. By November, my savings was almost gone and I had to

liquidate shares of my family trust, on which I took a penalty, as my grandfather did not want us to access it before age 25, to get us by. By deck, I had $300 in savings and nothing left in my family trust. I had spent about $17,000 since July supporting us, his job, he needed money to take clients out for lunch and coffee, his dog, and my dog. Since September, we had been having recurring fights about money and chores. I expected him to pick up 90% of the housework as his way of paying me back. He never shaped up on either front. He just kept repeating to me the same things that his manager said to him to draw him in. It'll get better. Everyone struggles at first. If you hang on, you'll make it. Once I make it, we'll be rolling in it. Every time we had a fight.

Every time. Two weeks before Christmas, we had this fight again and I demanded he do something other than feed me bullshit inspirational quotes. I left the house in a rage and drove to buy cigarettes. I was thinking of who I should text and ask to crash for the night when I got angry. Fuck no, I'm not crashing on someone's couch while he lives on the house I pay for, sleeps in the bed I pay for, and eats the food I pay for. I returned home and gave him 10 days to pack his shit and get out. He moved into his dad's house, and I spent Christmas morning chilling with my dog and returning his presents online. We started hanging out again in January of this year, and things seemed to be going well for his business, just for him to consider getting

an apartment. I told him he could move back in and if we couldn't split expenses evenly at first, he had to get serious about doing chores and sticking to my budget. It was fine at first, but by April, he wasn't doing any chores and I was back to paying 100% of his and his dog's living expenses. He also was about to not meet quota for that quarter and asked me to sign up for a policy and then reverse it after quarter and so I'd be reimbursed. I lost my shit on him. I work in capital markets, I can't afford to commit financial fraud for him.

I told him I've sacrificed enough for him, he can't come for my integrity too. Bonus, the friend who he did rope into doing the reverse policy still hasn't been reimbursed. Five months later, we had another blowout fight, and he majorly stepped up on the chores front, which has sustained to this day. money was still touch and go when he didn't get paid, his fancy car aided up every month.

He landed a big case in May and paid his half rent in June for the first time, and offered to pay all of July, which he did. By the second week of July, he was completely broke again, and told me last minute he couldn't pay August rent. I had to scramble to get the cash needed in one account to send the check. He couldn't afford to pay for his half of groceries like he promised either, so that was a scramble too. I'm so sick of this. I work an incredible job for my age, paid off all my college debt eight months after graduation, and owned my car, yet I'm living paycheck to paycheck supporting him. There's always something, even if it's a legitimate something, that keeps him from paying his half. It's been a fucking year and there hasn't even been

marginal improvement. His job is meant for filthy rich trust fund kids who can afford to be this broke while they build their client base. I admire his optimism, but he's not suffering for listening to it. I am. I have enabled him far too long and after the most recent fight about money, I realized he is too immature to be trying his hand at this job. He complains when he meets with clients that spend their money on cars and trips and toys instead of buying a policy from him. When he blew his money on a car and a gaming PC when he had a steady paying job. He has no problem having regular, circular fights with me yet won't ask his parents for help because that would be awkward and I don't want to lose, his father's respect. He's hurt that I don't trust his promises

when he's barely kept any of them. From his graduation date to his bills to chores. He is too immature to see the larger picture and because I've been enabling him to a fault. He has never needed to because the consequences don't fall on him. They fall on me. Last night, I told him I'm not renewing the lease and I'm moving out by myself. He followed me around the house pleading with me and asking me questions. How do you feel about me? What about us? Where will I go? What will it take for you to let me come with you? Questions I have answered every single. Fight. Questions he needs to answer because it's his fucking life. I refused to answer them again and went to bed. He stood in the doorway and said that stupid Marilyn Monroe quote about not deserving people at

their best if you can't handle them at your worst. I said he was totally allowed to feel that way and walk. He shut himself in the computer room and slept on the couch that night. I can't believe he feels like I'm abandoning him after all I've done. He doesn't understand how hurtful it is when he tries to pay his half of rent and bills by spouting off platitudes about struggle and success. It makes me feel so fucking disrespected and I have told him this every fight. And despite having this fight regularly, it's like he's not even listening to me. Why would he? I haven't made myself worthy of respect by being his financial doormat and not sticking to my boundaries. At this point, I feel he is using me as a safety net. He knows I won't let him or his dog starve so he doesn't make himself

care about coming up with the money for food. He is deluded by his optimism so much so that he breaks every optimistic promise he makes to me. He talks about how he thinks a client will buy an expensive plan, but then they get the cheap one and now he can't pay rent. He talks about how he met loads of people at a networking event, but only three call him back and he needs money to take them out. He says he's set to get 40% enrollment on a corporate contract, but only gets 11% so he can't pay for groceries this week. I used to think he was lying to me, but now I see he's lying to himself. He hasn't matured at all and grounded his expectations in reality because I've been standing in the way of it. Because of this, I don't trust him to give me a realistic end date to supporting him, because he'll

probably be wrong about that too. And now that I'm done being his Atlas and holding his world together, he's starting to panic. It bothers me so fucking much that he didn't take me seriously until I let the hammer drop on him, as it should have been in the beginning. The irony is not lost on me that he's a broke financial advisor. I missed the first six months of this relationship, when he had a job that paid well enough to cover up his financial immaturity. I could have taught him a few things that might have stuck instead of picking up all the slack and mommying the ever-living fuck out of him. I miss going to sit down dinners and football games and movies with him. I miss the fiend I had a month after I met him, where I knew I would marry him.

Now I'm not sure at all. I'm sad I love him. It's a burdensome tether instead of the inner flame it used to be. And maybe this is my own fatal optimism speaking, but that guy is still there, buried underneath all this bullshit. He just has to grow the fuck out of it and take his own risks to learn his own lessons. I can't even explain how badly I want the guy I met back. I'm tearing up writing this. I agreed to him moving back in this year because, according to him, he only needed a few more

months to make it and be stable, and I wanted that for him so badly so we could go back to enjoying life together. My hope is hamstringing me, just like it's doing to him. Can our relationship survive now that I'm seriously taking steps to ensure it doesn't bankrupt me? Or am I being stupid and thinking anything will change? Will he move in with his dad and just get him to be the new enabler? What am I doing wrong that's preventing him from understanding how I feel? Comments where has replied, commenter one. No, you couldn't have. People have to want to learn for lessons to stick.

I understand why you're having trouble walking away, because his strengths and weaknesses are so closely tied. But you'd be making the exact same mistake he is by staying, doubling down on a bad decision because you're convinced you can turn it around with just a little more time and investment. He can't, and you can't either. Stop feeding into the sunk cost fallacy and go. Oop, this is so true.

I'm a realist from an abusive home, so he was such a bright light of positivity when I met him. Now it's burning me. You're so right about me making the same mistake. I know what I have to do. It's going to suck doing it, but... I'm worth it, to myself at least. Commenter too. There's no hope.

You cannot change anyone but yourself. He's the only one who can change himself. Instead of changing, he's doubling down on a philosophy that has proven to be a failure. Why isn't he getting another job? Even if he can't let himself kill this dream and quit, he can at least work a second job. One that would actually pay minimum wage. Boop. Bill has office hours during the day and it infuriates me that they don't pay him for that.

He can't get a second job for that reason as he's meeting clients before and after common working hours. He can't even be an Uber driver because his fancy car is on the restricted cars list, and fuck if he's going to take my car too. I hate his stupid fucking car so much. It represents how financially immature he is, because he didn't even use his money wisely when he had it and continues to butt-fuck him to this day. Did I mention he hasn't paid taxes or registered it either because he doesn't have the money? Not sure who will be paying that inevitable ticket, but it sure as hell won't be me.

update, well a lot has happened since I made my first post. I guess I'll address it sequentially, since that's how I'm operating right now, moment to moment. After I made that post, I decided to truly cut him off. I changed the Wi-Fi password, froze the credit card I gave him, applied to close our joint accounts, and threw out any gifts I ever gave him. We were planning on attending a dork convention over Labor Day, in Atlanta, for those familiar with the con scene, had budgeted paying for both of us over a year ago. I told him he couldn't go unless he paid for his half of the hotel and tickets, $600. Not sure why I did this instead of shooting straight and admitting he was out of his gourd if he thought he could go. Shouldn't have played

any games but I'm kind of glad I did because he told me he'd have $1,000 to me by the end of August. Over text 2, in writing. I was floored. Suddenly he can come up with money for a weekend of partying and a chance to reel me back in? I said I would apply that to August bills, then he could start paying down the rest of the $25,000 he owed me for supporting him this past year before he could spend his money on luxuries like out-of-state vacations. This was over text, and he never responded, and slept on the couch again that night. That was a Friday. Saturday morning, he left the house around 9 a.m. with his dog, leaving all of his crap in my house. I piled all of his and his dog. I piled all of his and his dog,

stuff under his desk and got rid of any pictures of him around the house. I blocked him everywhere but Facebook and text. I went to two rental house showings, loved one of them and the landlord, put a deposit down that day, went on multiple walks with my dog as well as a long trip to the dog park and celebrated slash vented slash drank wine through Twizzlers with my next door neighbor and her boyfriend. XBF never returned that night. Sunday, I spent the day working on cosplays and outfits for the convention as well as goofing off with my neighbor and dog. It was lovely. I kept waiting for this wave of sadness and regret to hit me, but it never did. He had been out for 24 hours and his name wasn't on the lease. I texted him that his claim to

residency was gone, and he needed to come get his things with 24 hours notice. He said he was coming that night. I said 24 hours notice. He agreed to Monday evening. Monday, He picks up his stuff in his father's truck and gives me back the key. Hours after he left, he added a song to our shared YouTube playlist, Say Something by a Great Big World. I added Gravity by Sarah Borellis and Two Good by Drake, then removed his access to the playlist the next morning. Yay middle school communication methods.

Wednesday his best friend texts me like nothing is wrong. Thursday, I text my ex about when I can expect his check in the mail. He doesn't respond. Friday morning, I email him. At this point, as far as I can tell, he's gone no contact with me. I send him one last email a day later basically stating that, and he asks me to coffee Sunday night. We met up for coffee.

He never mentions repayment at all but in the discussion about our feelings, we both felt the same way about this. Betrayed, abandoned, hurt and distrustful of the other person. He felt I had lied when I said I was fine supporting him and basically insinuated that I wouldn't want to be repaid if I believed in us because otherwise I was actually loaning him money under the guise of love and setting him up to fail. When I realized he felt just as used as me because I cut him off from my money, I knew I was done. My stomach sank like a weight. I let him finish talking, then we parted ways. He asked if he could contact me, I said I needed a break. The next day I emailed him about the

$1,000 he promised me and reminded him he never discussed repayment at our meeting. He didn't respond for days, then the day I was set to leave town for the convention, he replies saying the money was on the way. Cool, it can sit in my mailbox for five days while I'm out of state. Also, during this time he was telling mutual friends we were going through a rough patch yet my friends were finding him on Tinder and OKC. I partied my tail off for the entire convention and when I came back, the check was in an unpostmarked envelope in my mailbox. I cashed it and sent him an email telling him such an ass that

he used snail mail for future repayments instead of trespassing on my property when he knows I won't be home. I seriously wonder if he was looking for the spare key I left with the dog sitter. So creepy. He replied to that email with some mushy, I love you and I know I fucked up things claiming he is too nice and can't say no and his urge to help others makes him neglect himself and he needs to work on that. It was the most loud. affable apology on earth. I was so nice and helpful that I couldn't stop myself from draining you of all your money and energy. My bad. I replied you broke my heart and my bank account. It will be a long time before they're both fixed, and my then I hope I won't be stupid enough

to trust you with them a third time. I will be responding to emails about repayment, otherwise good luck with everything. He replied, if I could take everything back that I did, I would. I love you, name. With all my heart. I could have prevented it all. I could have taken action. But I let you slip away. And that'll be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I'm truly sorry for hurting you. I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. I moved out of the house we lived into a similar one a few streets away. Moving helped keep me busy enough to not think about this. I threw out all our mementos and pictures and shit in the process so everything in the new place is all me. Just me.

Now I'm settled in and it feels like it hasn't hit me that it's over. I thought I would be crushed and there were some lonely moments at the convention that caught me up enough to need a cigarette, but I just feel humiliated. I don't even have the urge to check his Instagram. Every time I see a picture of him it just reminds me of how stupid and naive I am for thinking he was my one. I'm also super distrustful of my feelings now because of that. It wasn't a question in my mind when I met him that we'd be together forever. I knew I wanted to spend my life with him, like my name, like a fact. I see cute people out or have great conversations, but I have no desire for anything more

because I feel like my feelings aren't trustworthy enough to merit acting on them. They led me so far astray last time. But that's it, I guess. It's over and life is going on. Comment where OP has replied. Commenter one, I remember seeing your original post, and wondering to myself what would happen. You handled this masterfully, and it's obvious you are much better off mentally and emotionally for dropping him from your life. You just sound happier in your writing, and for that I'm glad for you.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Smile O.P., thanks. It creeps me out how quickly he became a stranger, right in front of my eyes. Anyway, the convention was helpful for jump-starting the old single-bitch thing again, ha-ha. That's the path I'll be on for a bit. I hope you enjoy this story. Heartless Bride to Be excluded me from their marriage ceremony, alleging that my facial marks would spoil the pictures. Consequently, my father ended the relationship with her, leading to her bothering us and eventually getting detained. I am, 16 F. I am in high school right now

and I have had a pretty bad run recently with my stepmother to be. My biological mother passed away when I was six years old and even though I was very young and all the memories that I have of her are very hazy and I don't remember her too well, I do remember that my dad and I loved her more than anything in this world. She was pretty much my best friend when I was a kid and the time that I did spend with her, I am very glad that I got to be her daughter for the short time that she was with us. My dad was very depressed after my mom passed away and even though he tried to

his best to hide it from me I could tell that he was suffering and so I did my best to cheer him up and be a good daughter and I guess my mother's passing brought us closer together in the position that my mother held in my life before she passed away. The position of a best friend and a confidant was taken over by my dad after she was gone. He took over the roles of both a mother and father quite seamlessly and I am very grateful that I had a father like him and he never let me down on any front. He was always there for me growing up and even when he was busy with work, I never felt like I would not be able to go up to him to ask for advice or even just to talk. He made sure that I always felt that he would be available for me no matter how busy he seemed and that really stuck with me.

I guess what I am trying to say is that he was a great father and he never let me down. So when, three years ago, he started dating Emily, I was very happy for him because I believed that he deserved all the happiness in the world and I was glad that he was finally moving on with his life. I was not insecure or whatever, like other kids, my kids. My wife. I was glad that he deserved. have been, had they been in my position. But I was actually quite supportive of his relationship with Emily because I wanted him to be able to move on and live life to the fullest. He had already done a great job being there for me after my mother had passed away and now I wanted him to be able to be there for himself as well. I guess it was pretty surprising for most people in my family

who were the age of 13, I had such sordid opinions and they all appreciated me for it but for some reason, I felt like the one person who did not like me at that point of time was Emily herself, even though I did not have any problem with her. Emily and my father had met through common friends and after a couple of months, they had introduced each other to their families and the very first time that Emily had met me, she had been sweet enough to me while my dad was in the room but as soon as he left. I felt something shift and even though at the time I did not understand what was going on, I feel like now I can say for sure that her behavior towards me suddenly changed and she seemed a

little more indifferent and as soon as my dad was back in the room, she was back to be an all-nice and friendly. I thought it was a bit weird but I was just 13 and I thought that maybe I was just overthinking it and did not pay much attention to it. That is the kind of behavior that continued for the next couple of years and I never spoke up about it because it was not a big deal to me. I couldn't exactly make a big deal out of something like that either because all she was doing was pretending to be nice to me when my dad was around but when he was not, she was just being indifferent to me and it was not a bad thing but it was not a necessarily good thing either. My dad seemed happy with her so I did not say anything. She had moved in with us after a year of

getting my father and it was really weird living with her because she worked from home and as soon as I would back from school, it would get really awkward and tense because even though we lived in the same home, it was like she was ignoring me on purpose and pretending like I was not there. She would keep her interactions with me to a minimum for as long as I was at home but then as soon as my dad would come back home from work, she would turn into a different person altogether and would act like my best friend in the whole world. I thought it was really weird, but then again it was not like it was impacting my life in any negative way whatsoever, so I just played along and never said anything about it. It was like an unspoken agreement between the two of us that we would

never bring this up for the sake of my father's happiness, but I realized pretty quickly that she and I were not close and we were never going to be close either, and I was genuinely fine with that. That's how we spent the last few years living together and my dad never really got to find out that she and I barely had any relationship at all and believed that we were close because of the way she portrayed our relationship when he was around. Anyway, they got engaged a couple of months ago and were supposed to get married last week, but it did not happen because of me and I still feel kind of guilty about it. So what happened was that Emily pulled me aside about half an hour before the ceremony was about

to begin and told me that she did not want me to be present for it because she thought that I looked a little too distracting and it would take away from the beauty of the wedding. She told me that she had hired professional photographers for the event and she did not want me spoiling the scene by being present in it and told me that she hoped I would understand. I was a bridesmaid and she had only appointed me as one to please my father, but I know that she did not actually want me to be a part of the bridal party at all and I had only agreed because I knew that it would make my dad happy to let me be a part of the wedding. I also knew exactly why she did not want me to be a part of the ceremony at all and why she did not

want me to be photographed. Just a few months ago, I had been bitten by a dog on my face and it was quite an unfortunate incident, but I was to blame for it. I have a habit of petting dogs any time I come across one and a few months ago I saw a woman walking her German shepherd and I crouched to pet him but I guess I spooked him somehow and he ended up attacking me and my nose and cheeks got the worst of it because it was at the level of his mouth. I had to be rushed to the hospital and it was all really scary but I am fine now and all that's left of the attack is a few scars on my face because of the surgery and everything but they are healing and while I don't know if they will ever go away entirely, they are fading,

slowly but surely. I had a really difficult time dealing with the fact that these scars would be on my face for a really long time and I was very insecure about it for the longest time but my dad convinced me that I looked really cool and it was a mark of my bravery now so I don't need to feel bad about it and I guess that helped me deal with the fact that my face is no longer what it used to be. Most people have been supportive of it and have tried to make me feel better but Emily was definitely not one of the people and while I had always known that she was the superficial type, I did not expect her to act like this and make me feel bad about myself on purpose.

I was very offended when I was told by her that she did not want me to be present at the ceremony and I asked her straight away if this had anything to do with the scars on my face. She did not even have the courtesy to hesitate before telling me that she actually felt like my face was very distracting and hideous at the moment. She did not want that showing up in her wedding photos 10 years from now because it was really ugly to look at and it would ruin her photos. Hence, I needed to clear out and I could not let my father know about it either because then he would get mad at her and that was the last thing she needed on her wedding day

because she was already so stressed out from planning everything and making sure that everything was going smoothly and perfectly. She actually expected me to clear out and stay away from my own father's wedding because she thought that I was not pretty enough to attend anymore. It was so ridiculously entitled and inconsiderate of her that I decided that I was going to finally tell my dad about everything that day and I didn't even care that he was going to get married because it was clear to me at that point that Emily was not the kind of person

who deserved to be with my dad or even breathe the same air as us. But I did not want to do it in front of her, so I told her that I completely understood what she was talking about and promised her that I would stay away from the ceremony and would come up with some excuse to tell my father so I would be able to explain my absence without getting her in trouble and she was stupid enough to fall for it and actually thanked me by saying that I was doing her a huge favor and she did not expect me to be so understanding about all of this but I really was very mature for my age.

I just laughed it off and then left the room. We were all staying in a hotel because the ceremony was going to be held on hotel property and after I left her room, I decided to go back to my room and call my father immediately to tell him everything. He was already out of his room and was downstairs, where the wedding was going to be held and I did not want to waste my time going up and down looking for him, so I just decided to call him and I knew that I was the only person whose call he would actually answer. Even when there was just half an hour to go before the ceremony was supposed to begin. And just as I had expected, he answered my call on the first ring and I immediately launched into my story and told him everything without even waiting for a

response or pausing. I told him everything, including the way that Emily had been treating me for the past couple of years, and how she had been faking the relationship that she had with me just to be on his good side. But in all honesty, she had no idea about me and was not even interested and I was pretty sure that after she got married she would drop that act as well because all she wanted was to be with my dad but she did not care about me and she did not care about being a family either, that was for sure. I told him that I would not mind even if he went ahead with the wedding but I just had to tell him the truth before he did anything. He did not say much to me on the phone call, and all that he said to me at that point was that he was thankful that I had told him the truth,

even though it was literally just minutes before his wedding, but he knew what he had to do now and then hung up after telling me to stay in my room until he told me to come out. So for the next couple of hours, I had absolutely no idea what was happening and people just kept texting me to ask what was going on and what was taking so long for Emily and my father but those texts stopped coming after about an hour and everything was silent. I tried to call my father but it went straight to voicemail.

I tried to call some of his friends as well, but they told me that even they had no clue what was going on. Apparently, after my phone call, he had gone up to Emily's room to talk to her and had not come out after that. The only thing that he had told them was that the wedding was not happening anymore and that was the message that they had passed on to everybody, which is why nobody was texting me anymore to ask about the status of the wedding and when the ceremony was going to begin. I was really nervous because I thought that my dad would be mad at me for ruining his wedding and I kept crying in my room until he finally came to get me after almost four hours of waiting. When I asked him what was happening, he told me that I did not have to worry about any of it

and we were going to go home, so then I naturally asked him about Emily and he told me that she was not going to be coming back with us and they had broken up. He said it without any emotion, so I did not know if he was upset about it at the time and I still have no idea because he refuses to talk about it to me, at least. I am guessing that he is obviously upset but is refusing to talk about it so that I don't feel guilty, but it's not working because I do feel bad and Emily is making sure of it. She has been talking crap about me and I can't even believe that a woman her age can speak this way about a literal 16-year-old who was only trying to protect her father. She has made several Facebook posts but she does not mention me by name so I can't exactly pinpointed

and claim that these are all about me but I know that they are because all of them make me out to be a cunning and horrible human being, which is just really sad because I don't think I'm like that at all. She has been claiming online that I chose the last few minutes before the wedding to talk to my dad because I wanted to humiliate her and insult her in front of all the guests and it was my plan all along. That literally cannot be true because the only reason I talked to my dad about what was going on was because of what she said about not wanting me at the ceremony because of my scars. She has also been saying that I was the one faking our relationship and that I was the one

who had never made any real effort to connect with her on a human level. Now there might be some truth to it because when I realized that she was not the same person that she was around my father, I kind of did not try to understand her or get along with her and just ignored her right back, but I thought that was just because she did not express any interest in getting along with me either. I can tell that she is very upset about all of this and I feel responsible for it because I ruined a whole wedding. I know that I have no reason to feel bad about any of this, but I really do feel kind of iffy about what I did and think that I kind of owe Emily and my dad an apology because of what I did. I guess I should have spoken up a long time before I did and me keeping everything to myself up until the wedding made everything worse.

But I am afraid that I might be acting out of emotions and so I wanted to make sure that I am en-tee before I do anything or come to a conclusion about any of this. So I'd offer telling my father about my stepmom's behavior around me just half an hour before the wedding and getting it canceled just because she spoke about the scars on my face and said that she did not want me to be present at the ceremony because she wanted the pictures to be perfect. Update 1, hey, thank you so much for the comments on my original post and I really appreciate everything that people have been saying about me. You guys are really much too kind. I have decided that I am not going to apologize and after what has happened. I really don't think that I should and I don't owe anything to Emily because everything that she claims that I am, in reality, it's her who is all of that and more. My father has blocked her everywhere so she cannot get through to him but she can text me so that's what she did. She reached out to me a couple of days ago and really put me on blast because of what I did before the wedding.

It has been almost 15 days since the wedding and this happened maybe four days ago, so a little while after I made my post here. It started with a normal text where she asked me if we could talk and I thought why not because at that point, I was still feeling quite responsible and guilty about ruining the wedding. But that turned out to be a huge mistake because as soon as I told her that she could call me, she rang me and I picked up the phone, only to have her and a bunch of her friends start screaming at me at the top of their lungs and call me the most horrible names that they could think of. This went on for about a minute and a half because I was so shocked that I could not even process what was going on for the first few seconds.

This was a woman in her 30s that we are talking about right here and I can understand not liking me but this was literally bullying and I was not expecting it, even after all the posts. I guess I should have guessed what kind of person she was and not interacted with her in the first place, but I was feeling bad and I let that get in the way of my decision-making, which was a bad call and I realized that now. Anyway, as soon as I came back to my senses, I hung up the call and went straight to my father. I told him about the posts and the phone call and I told him that I was really sorry for hiding it from him because he was already upset and I did not want him even more,

but I just kept hiding things from him because I did not want to make the situation worse. And somehow it always ended up making things much worse than they were before and I did not know how to deal with any of this. And we had a real discussion about my behavior and he told me that I could come to him with whatever problem I had and whenever I needed his help because that's what he is here for. He explained to me that he is here to protect me and that he is the parent, not me, so I don't have to worry about protecting him from anything. He also told me that I was the most important person in his life and that was something that nobody would ever be able to change so I really did not have to worry about irrelevant things like him being upset over something so necessary.

He told me that he was actually happy that I had come clean to him just in the nick of time so he did not marry Emily because if he actually had gone through with the wedding then things might have been much worse. And what I learned was that I should basically just stop second-guessing myself all the time and always be honest with my dad, at the very least. Because if anything, he is the only person who can always bail me out of trouble and I need to be transparent with him, both for his sake and mine. Anyway, after our conversation, he decided to call Emily up and give her a piece of his mind because he was really pissed off about the way she had been behaving with me. He did not know about the posts because he and all his friends had blocked her everywhere so they had no idea what she was up to and I was the only person who was still on her friend list, probably because she wanted me to see everything that she had to say about me because

she was very well aware of how they would impact me. And I, like a complete fool, had fallen for all of it without even thinking of it. about the consequences. I was kind of disappointed in myself because I had been such an idiot, but my dad had a positive spin to put on that as well as he told me that I was not an idiot. I was just 16 and I think that something I'm going to use for the rest of my life to explain everything's stupid decision that I have made around these times, ha ha. But anyway, he called Emily and this time, it was my dad who put her on blast and gave her a taste of his own medicine. He texted her and asked if she was free to talk and when she said yes, he was.

He decided to call her and tore into her for bullying me with her stupid friends and told her that if she ever bothered me again then she would have to face the dire consequences. He threatened to report her to the cops if she did that again and then hung up without even giving her an opportunity to explain because I don't think there were a lot of explanations that she could give us to justify what she did anyway. Update 2. Hi, this update is coming literally just a day after my last because this morning Emily came to our house to talk to my father and it did not go well. I don't know why, but she still thinks that she can sort things out with my dad and get back together with him, even after what she did to me. Obviously, my father did not even open the

door when she showed up and told her to get out because he did not have anything to say to her and he did not want to hear from her. But she refused to leave and insisted that she would not go anywhere until she had an opportunity to speak with my father. And when I told her that she was not welcome here anymore, she started yelling at me and all me that I had nothing to do with this, so I needed to stay out of it instead of poking my nose where it did not belong. But this time I was not going to back down because this was my house and she was on my turf now. So I yelled at her right back and told her that this was my house and she was not welcome here so if she tried to mess up our weekend for us, then we would call the cops on her and then

things could get ugly because we would not hesitate in having her escorted off our property. Unfortunately for her, she did not take it seriously and kept fighting with me, as if that was going to get her anywhere with my father. She is such a stupid woman that she came here to fix things with my dad but ended up picking a fight with me, something that she knew my father would not appreciate. It was obviously more important for her to defeat me rather than win my father over and it was just so sad. Because I don't know about her but my dad had genuine love for her and she was just making a fool

out of herself by having beef with his teen daughter for no real reason other than meaningless hatred for me. After arguing with her for a bit, I decided that I could not do this anymore because she was really illogical and unreasonable to talk to and I could not even fight with her because it was so frustrating. She kept blaming me for everything, even though it was her own fault that the wedding ended up getting cancelled. I was getting really annoyed and I did not want to fight anymore so my dad and I just stopped responding to her and called the police so they could take her away because we did not want to waste more of our mourning on her. She kept screaming relentlessly after that, but it made no difference to us because we were just done talking to her.

After a while, when the cops finally showed up, they arrested her and took her away, but I don't think it's going to be more than a slap on the wrist for her. At least she learned her lesson now and I hope it sticks. She was genuinely very surprised that we had actually called the police because she had definitely not been expecting that and it showed on her face when we came out of the house as she was getting arrested. At some point, she realized that we did not care about her anymore and started screaming at me even more loudly than she was before, which was a brave move because the cops were standing right there and she was literally just proving herself to be unhinged. She had completely lost her head and started cussing at me which was surprising even for the cops

and that's part of the reason why my dad pressed charges against her, even though that was not our plan initially but she was cussing at me and that could not be left unanswered. Her behavior was plain deranged and pathetic and I am glad that she went away and I really hope that she does not come back because we don't need this in our life. My father and I have dealt with enough drama for a lifetime in the past few weeks and we are just done now, honestly. Update 3, hey, everybody. So it has been about three months ever since the wedding got canceled and everything in my father and I decided to take a trip to clear our heads. I'm on my summer break right now and we have headed up for a hiking trip, something that my mother used to love and I love being in nature as well,

so this is pretty much perfect for all of us. We have been having a great time and I really appreciate the fact that my father and I are actively building a better relationship so that the kind of misunderstandings that happened before this do not happen ever again because at the end of the day, we are all we have and he is the only family I can trust. So I need to be honest with him and I need to tell him important things instead of fearing that something might upset him or try to protect them from things that he does not even need to be protected from. We have not heard from Emily for a really long time and I really hope that it stays that way because I really hate her and I know that hate is a strong word but I don't think that it's strong enough to describe what I feel towards her. From what I know,

after she got arrested she was let go but she still continued to talk crap about me and my father and honestly, I don't even care about that anymore because that's just the kind of person that she is and we are glad to be rid of her. It doesn't matter. I hope you enjoy this story. Relative tied the knot with my domineering former partner, shared falsehoods about me, criticized me in their wedding address,

was disowned by their parent, and subsequently attempted to enter my residence during the evening. So my cousin Julia, 27F, started dating my ex-boyfriend Lewis, 29M, two years ago. I, 27F, had been with Lewis for three years. We started dating after he graduated and I was in my second year of college. We stayed together for three years and broke up a couple of weeks after my 20th birthday. It was honestly not a good relationship, and I regret the fact that it was my first relationship

as an adult. He and I were perfect on paper, but in reality, things were quite different. He was really insecure and controlling, and would not let me. me do anything that I wanted to buy myself, like going out with my friends to bars and stuff, or even let me speak to my male friends. He was always keeping tabs on me in any time that I did not do things that he wanted me to, he would start manipulating me and gaslighting me to think that I was the reason this was not going to work and I was also pretty desperate to keep him around me, so I would bend over backward for him. But that was still not enough to make him

stay. He was the one who dumped me, saying that things were not working out, and then proceeded to block me so that I would not be able to contact him. I tried really hard to get in touch with him, but after the breakup, he was completely gone and within two months, I heard from people that he had already moved on to his next girlfriend. So, that was a colossal waste of my time and I really don't like that guy. We had no contact with each other for some time after the breakup. But then, when I turned 25, he finally unblocked me and reached out to me to wish me a happy birthday. I did not respond to him, and I thought it was weird that he was texting me because by then, I had also moved on, and I was with somebody different. But he still kept texting me, even though he did not

get a response. So ultimately, I had to block him, and then, we did not speak for a couple of months again. However, just a few months after my birthday, Julia invited me over and when I went to her house, she told me that she wanted to introduce me to somebody, and it turned out to be Lewis. Apparently, the reason he had been texting me earlier on my birthday was because he wanted to make things right with me before this happened. The two of them had met through work and had started dating and were quite serious about each other. Julia and I had been really close right from our childhood, so this came as quite a shock to me because she had known that he and I really did not get along and he was quite toxic to me. So I was very taken aback when I realized that the two of

them were together and she told me that she knew I would be uncomfortable, but she wanted me to give it one chance and I really wanted to do that, but it was just too much for me. I wanted to be happy for Julia, but Lewis was somebody who had caused a lot of pain for me in the past and it was my first serious relationship because in middle school and high school, I did not have anybody except crushes. And he had ruined that for me, so I had a major grudge against him in the way that he had treated me in the past. I tried to be as respectful as possible about it and I told Julia that while I really wanted her to be happy, I could not process the fact that she was with Lewis now and I did not think that I wanted to be a part of her life anymore. She was really upset about it and tried

to talk to me several times after that, but I couldn't accept it. Because she, of all people, had known exactly how toxic he had been to me and how traumatized I had been because of him. But she still went on to date him and she kept telling me that he had changed and was a better person now, but I did not buy it. She was free to have him in her life and be with him. I did not have a problem with that. But also, I had the right to cut him in by association, her two, out of my life. It was very simple for me and obviously, it was really hard for me as well since Julia and I were really good friends, along with being cousins. But then, there's something that I absolutely had to do for my own sake, and I did it.

After she told me that she had started dating Lewis, I stopped speaking to her much and for the past two years, we have been really cold to each other because once she realized that I was not going to talk to her, even she started acting distant with me and I don't blame her for that. We would meet at events and stuff, and we would just ignore each other, whereas earlier, We had always been the cousins who would stick to each other and gossip about everybody else. But now, things were different and I was honestly okay with that. Everybody had their own life and the freedom to do whatever they pleased, so I did not have a problem with her.

I just did not want to speak to her, that was it from my side, but I guess she took it personally and wanted to get back at me or something. So she took it upon herself to start talking crap about me to other people from our family and ruin my image, which I did not think was necessary. at all. Because I would never do that to her, I had never done that to her, even though we were not getting along. For the past year, she had been telling everybody that I was the reason behind my breakup with Lewis, and apparently, I did not have any morals or ethics. She and Lewis had been spreading rumors about me, saying that I would flirt with other boys while I was with Lewis,

right in front of him. And that was the real reason why he would end up getting possessive and controlling. They made it sound like I was the flirt, and that's why he would get insecure when it could not have been further from the truth. It was actually the other way around. He was the one who would be excessively friendly with other women and expect me to be fine with it, but did not like it when I would have male friends even though I kept it completely platonic. And he would constantly manipulate and gaslight me into cutting everybody out of my life. I found their strategies to ruin my reputation among my own family members very offensive but was honestly too busy with my own life to care about what they were spreading, and it was not like anybody actually believed them,

so I was fine with it. And I did not respond to that or react since I knew that it would give them exactly what they had wanted, a reaction out of me. I was also aware of the fact that I wanted to put an end to this, it would be really easy for me since all I had to do was speak to my auntie and she would take care of it all. Even though I was no longer close with Julia, I was still pretty close with her mother and the woman was a federal court judge, so I knew that she would do the right thing. She is my dad's older sister, and everyone knew that she has a spine of steel. She would never do anything underhanded or wrong, so I don't know how Julia turned out to be the way that she is, in spite of being the daughter of somebody like that. Literally, one conversation with her would put an end to all of this,

but as a consequence that, I knew that Julia would also have to suffer quite a lot since she was quite financially dependent on her mother since recently, she had started her own jewelry line, but it was not doing too well from what I had heard. Anyway, I did not want to bother her with such petty things, and I knew that I was strong enough to handle it on my own. So I did not bring it up with her and also, I wanted to let this go on and see what kind of ridiculous rumors they would come up with because either way, my other cousins were still coming up to me and telling me what she had been saying behind my back. So it was just amusing in a form of entertainment for me. Then, six months back, they got

engaged and announced the wedding dates soon after. My parents received an invitation, but I did not and I was fine with it. I did not expect to be invited to the wedding either. I don't think I would want to attend even if I had been invited, after everything that has gone wrong with me and Julia, let alone me and Lewis. The wedding took place three days ago and it was just another day for me, so I was not too concerned about what was going on there. But after a certain point of time, my phone started flooding with texts from everybody in the family. Everybody was harping on about some speech that Lewis and Julia had made at the wedding and I was really confused, but then my parents called me up and said that they needed to speak to me. So they were the ones

who finally told me what had happened and I lost my temper at that point. Apparently, they had taken the opportunity at the wedding to make a horrible speech about me and spread as many nasty things about me as they could at once. They wanted to turn everybody in the family against me and I guess they might have succeeded if I did not have anything against them in my arsenal. Julia and Lewis have been clever enough, not to mention me by name, but kept referring to a certain ex-girlfriend who was not present at the wedding, which would only be referring to me because who else could it have been? Anyway, they repeated all the rumors that they had tried to spread about me already like I was the flirt, and apparently I was a gold digger as well, and I would rely on

Lewis for money and expect him to pay for everything and he had two. Since I insisted I was just a college student and could not be wasteful, so I would demand that he took care of me financially when we were together. That was not true either. I would always make it a point to split everything on our dates and never expected him to pay for anything, let alone demand. But the most horrible thing they said about me by far was when they accused me of cheating on him, which is what ended the relationship, according to their stories. So now, at the wedding, they had said that they were glad that I was out of their lives and had not been present at the wedding, since they did not want such a negative influence to be anywhere around them either and had given the family an ultimatum,

that from now onwards, they could either invite me to their events or them. Since if I was present at any family event, they would not be attending. And after that, people would have been, started flooding my phone to tell me about it. But I only got to know about it from my parents and I was majorly pissed, as I mentioned earlier. So, I thanked them for what they had done because my parents had left immediately after that speech since they could not stand the fact that Julia was going to such lengths. They also told me that my aunt was really perplexed about what was going on and spoke to them about whether what Julia was claiming in her speech was true or not since it seemed very out of character for me, and she was right. I hadn't actually done that and she was completely

correct to doubt her daughter about the truthfulness of the statements. Anyway, after getting to know what they had said about me in their wedding speech, I decided to go all out and dug up screenshots from the past to prove that they were lying. I had to do a lot of digging, and it took me quite some time since I had to scroll for several minutes to get to the part that I wanted. Thankfully, after a really long time, I was able to find the screenshots of the chat between me and my ex that I've been looking for. These were around the time from when we were picking up and he had been particularly toxic and vicious at that point in time. He had said a lot of nasty things to me, like how we wished he had never started dating me and how he had wasted

three years of his life with me when he had the option to be with other people since a lot of women had expressed an interest in him during that time, but now, he finally going to go out with other people. There was no mention of cheating and I am pretty sure if I actually cheated on him, he wouldn't have let it go so easily. Anyway, I scrolled even further back up, and I found other chats of him being toxic towards me and then I went ahead and posted it all online without an explanation or caption because I think those chats would speak for themselves. And so they did, because after I posted the screenshots, because started texting me once again and commenting on the posts saying that they knew that whatever had been said was not true

because it just seemed really weird for me to act that way, because everyone had known me for ages since I was a child. And I was not the kind of person who would do such things. Those screenshots just went on to show that they were lying and knowing that my family was on my side and not theirs, that was all that I needed. In fact, several people even contacted me to tell me that they had left the wedding, just because of the things that had been said about me. So while Julia and Lewis had been hoping that they would be able to turn people against me,

their speech had backfired horribly, and nobody was on their side anymore. Worst of all, not even my aunt was on their side anymore, which was really bad for them. They contacted me on the night of the wedding itself and literally started begging me for forgiveness because apparently, after reading the screenshots that I had posted online, my aunt had spoken to them and expressed how disappointed she was by the fact that Julia had been so dishonest and was trying to ruin my reputation just because she couldn't stand the fact that I had chosen to cut her off because she was with my ex-boyfriend now. Most of the guests had already left because of the ongoing drama, and after speaking to them,

my aunt also told Julia that she was very upset and disappointed in her behavior and had expected better, so until she apologized to me, and I forgive her, she was going to be cutting the two of them out of her life as well. And then she left, in spite of Julia, trying her very best to convince her not to do so, since she was really depending on her mother. At night, the two of them called me and started apologizing profusely because they knew that they would not be able to make do without my aunt's support since she had been supporting her daughter financially for quite some time now. Julia had actually been planning on shutting down her business and taking a break for some time, which meant that she would have to rely on her mother even more now, but since

my aunt had decided to cut her off, things were not going to work out according to plan and she was really worried for the future. And that's why she had contacted me and wanted me to forgive her, take down that post, and speak to my aunt about all of this. I was really upset about everything that happened so I refused to do that and blocked two of them. But since Since then, they have been trying desperately to contact me and get me to change my mind and now, I'm really confused about what I should do. My aunt is a really upright woman, we have spoken. She had contacted me the day after the wedding to let me know how sorry she was about whatever

Julia had done, but I told her that I did not want my equation with Julia to affect our relationship, since I had not let it happen in the past and I would still not let it happen now. So it's all cool between us, and I know for a fact that if I speak to her, I can make things right for Julia, but I personally feel like I don't really need to. She is a full-grown adult woman, and she should be able to sort things out for herself. The other consequences of her actions, but then again, would feel like a total jerk, knowing that I can help her and I'm choosing not to.

I'm just kind of conflicted about what to do right now. So please, help me out. Ida for not speaking to my aunt and convincing her to forgive my cousin after she made a horrible speech at her wedding with my ex-boyfriend about me? Update 1, hello. So first of all, thank you so much for all the comments and support. Before I get into the update, I just want to get one thing out of the way. My parents attended the wedding, like a lot of other family members, because they are kind of in the older generation of our family, and they were not exactly aware of the rumors that were being spread about me. Lewis and Julia were mostly saying it to our other cousins

and relatives in the same generation as us or around the same age. They were keeping the older people out of it. So my parents had absolutely no idea what was being said about me and so, they had chosen to attend the wedding out of respect for my aunt, even though they were kind of aware that there was some bad blood between me and Julia after she had started dating this boy. I had not said anything to them or complained to them on purpose, just like I had not said anything to my aunt,

because I did not want to drag them or involve them in such petty things. I was above all of that, but clearly, Julia and Lewis were not. Anyway, my point is that my parents were not aware and that's why they attended the wedding, so there is no need for anyone to question them or hate them. As soon as they, and some of the other people from the older generations, found out the kind of things that were being said about me at the wedding, they chose to opt out and are not on speaking terms with Julia or Lewis anymore, so it's all fine. I hope that's clear now.

Now moving on. It's been one week since the wedding and I blocked Lewis and Julia, both. So they could not be able to get in touch with me, but that has not stopped them from trying, since they keep making new accounts on social media and keep sending me emails, even though I just keep blocking them. They are desperate, but I've made up my mind that I'm not getting myself involved and helping them out here. I have kept in touch with my aunt and she has made it very clear to me that she's She is only going to resume supporting her daughter after I forgive her, but honestly, I don't think

I need to forgive her because for one whole year. I had kept my mouth shut, and I had allowed them to say whatever they wanted to about me because I was not taking them seriously. But they thought that it was a free pass for them to take things to the next level and now, they're going to have to face the consequences. There's also another fact that I honestly don't feel like she deserves the support from her mother, since she is in her late 20s now and I think by now, she should have a sense of what she wants to do in her life. I can't imagine anybody still relying on their parents for money

at this point in life. It's not even like she's not educated enough or is not competent enough, she's just always been way too lazy to stick to a job. It had been that way when we were in our early 20s and had just graduated and I thought that she would grow out of it, but it's still the same way now. So in a way, I think I'm kind of doing her a favor because not getting any financial support from my aunt is going to probably teach her to be better at her job or whatever. Either way, I have made up my mind that I'm not going to help her out. I have discussed this decision with my parents, just to let go of some of the guilt that I had been feeling, and they said that I was perfectly justified in whatever I was trying to

do. It was my call whether or not I wanted to forgive her. I did not have to forgive her if I did not feel that she deserved it, just because I was worried about what happened to her in the future. Besides, Lewis still had a decent job and he could support the two of them if they really wanted to get by without any financial help from my aunt. The bottom line is, I spoke to my parents, some of my friends and even you guys here, and most people agree that I have no reason to feel guilty. So, I feel much better now, to be honest. But I have taken that post down because I don't think that it needed to stay up much longer. Everybody in the family already knows what went down and I don't want to keep that on my profile, since a lot of other people follow me and it would

be really difficult to explain everything that happened to them. So it was much easier to just take it down. Right now, I'm just trying to focus on myself and let go of all the anger and the guilt that I had been feeling for the past couple of days so I've come back to meditating and trying to take my mind off of things and deal with everything in a Zen way. And I really hope that Julia and Louis and also tried to do better with their lives instead of basing it all around me and making me the reason that they wake up in the morning every day like they have been doing so far. I think that'll be better for all of us. Update 2. Hi, so it's been a month since the wedding and from what I know, Lewis and Julia are back on their BS again. My aunt is still not speaking to them because I have

not forgiven them yet at this point. I don't even need to. Because I know that their apology was not genuine. They were only apologizing because they wanted money from my aunt. They didn't actually mean it. After a couple of days of trying to convince me to forgive them and tell my aunt to speak to them, they gave up when I did not respond. After that, they went back to spreading rumors about me. And this time, they were really creative with it as well. Apparently, they went around telling everybody that I was trying to ruin their relationship with my aunt on purpose because I wanted all the inheritance to myself. It doesn't even make sense and it's so absurd that I would do something like that because my parents are pretty well off as well. Let's not even get there since I myself

have a decent job and I'm doing well for myself. I don't even need to think about inheritance because, at the rate that I'm going, with the grace of God, I will not need to rely on anybody for money. Maybe they do, that's why they are thinking along these lines. But anyway, they have been telling everybody all of this every time they run into somebody from the family in public, which happens pretty often since all of us live in the same city and they live close by to several of our family members. People have been avoiding them like the plague, yet they find a way to talk about me somehow. It just doesn't make sense to me why they're so obsessed with me since I have not done anything for the past month. All I do is ignore them and yet they can't let go of whatever has happened.

Anyway, I got pretty annoyed by this last week and I told my aunt about it and she told me that now. Even if they do apologize, there's no way that she is going to get back in touch with her daughter and she even communicated that to Julia blocking her again and now, the two of them are even more pissed at me than they already were. I know that because they made another fake email account to send me a really angry message via email because that's the only way that they can contact me now. They told me that they were going to make me pay for all of this. Like who shiver me timbers.

I know they're acting unhinged right now and it's not like I'm really scared, but it can be quite inconveniencing, so I wrote back to them and said that if they tried anything funny with me, I would call the cops and not even hesitate in sending them to jail so they had better watch what they do. I'm hoping that it scares them often if not, well, I have a pretty good security system installed. Update 3, so four days ago, I received an email from Lewis and Julia saying that I would have to

face the consequences of what I had done. I also warned them that if they tried to do anything funny, I would report them to the police and yet, that did not stop them from doing the most idiotic thing in the world. Last night, they tried to break into my house. Julia has been to my house several times, she knows that I have a very advanced security system in place so obviously, I was alerted as soon as they even attempted to open my door. I don't even know why they thought that my door would be unlocked in the middle of the night, at around one in the morning. As soon as that happened, I made a call to the police and alerted them that somebody was trying to break into my house. I had a feeling that it was going to be Julia and Lewis, but just in case

it was not, I did not want to take any risks. So they showed up within 15 minutes and unfortunately, for the two of them, they were even dressed like burglars and had been caught, trying to make a run for it a little distance away from my house since they hadn't brought their car with them and had cycled all the way here. The two of them tried to claim that they knew me personally and for not trying to steal anything, they just wanted to break in and speak to me, intimidate me a little bit. I don't know why they admitted to that as if that was going to make them look any better in the eyes of the law. Julia immediately started crying once she had been placed in handcuffs and started begging me to not press any charges against her, but I did not have any sympathy to spare for her. You can't just keep screwing up again and again, and expect people to forgive you. Lewis just kept looking at me with pure hatred, but that hardly mattered to me, I was quite used to that. Anyway, after that,

I went back to sleep because I had work in the morning and this morning, I told my aunt and my parents about what had happened. And they told me that they knew since Julia had used her phone call to call my aunt so she could come and bail her out but my aunt refused to even go see her, so now nobody knows what's going to happen. I'm definitely going to press charges against them because I want a protective order against them since they are obviously unhinged, and I don't want anything to do with them anymore. I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling prohibited me from attending her wedding without children prior to my birthday, but when I held a child-free wedding, she insisted that I permit her offspring. Subsequently, my relative

informed me that she intended to, to announce her pregnancy at my wedding to steal the spotlight. Hello, I, 26, am going to get married in a year. I sent out the save the dates last week and since then I have been getting a lot of backlash from my sister and my parents. I will get to the main problem but before that, I really need to tell you guys about what happened in the past. My sister Kayla, 31, and I have somewhat of a problematic relationship now. She can be extremely entitled and mean which has been a problem I am dealing with even now. So, I always wanted to be close to my sister but she never appreciated those feelings. She mostly treated me like an unwanted pest and tried to stay away from me.

I was young and stupid and thought that I could make my sister love me. She was like my idol and I wanted to have a good relationship with her. Growing up, my sister always did things to draw attention to herself. She was like that and I accepted her just as she was. I may have been a little deluded to think that we could have a close relationship. I think I finally woke up when she told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding. Kayla told me that her wedding was going to be child-free so I wasn't allowed to go there. Here's the thing, though.

Her wedding was just a week away from my 18th birthday. I cried and begged my sister to make an example. exception because it was ridiculous she was tagging me as a child. Her venue wasn't child-free or anything like that. She wasn't even going to serve alcohol. She had no solid reason to exclude me. I guess she really didn't want me at the wedding. Anyway, I couldn't change her mind and she excluded me despite my begging her not to. My parents had refused to intervene. From that day, I started to distance myself from my sister. Kala either didn't notice or didn't care. I am leaning towards the ladder. I have a very weird relationship with her and don't even

know her husband that well. We only meet at family gatherings and don't have one-on-one communication of any kind. She has two kids who I love, but frankly, I am not close to them either. Kayla never makes an effort to hang out with me alone or invite me to her house. I tried when her kids were born, but she ignored or dismissed my attempts to get closer. Eventually, I gave up and concentrated on family members who actually wanted me in their lives. All this background will help you understand my situation better. So, I got engaged and decided on a date with my fiancé. We decided early on that we wanted a child-free wedding. We made the save the dates and sent them to family and friends so that they would be prepared. We also included the fact that the wedding

was supposed to be completely child-free. Kayla received an invite too. I was happily moving on to concentrate on making arrangements, but something happened that made me write this post. Well, my sister called me a few days ago and went off on me about how I have to be kidding her. Initially, I didn't understand what the fuss was about, so I clearly asked her to tell me what was wrong. Then, somehow through her rants, I understood that she was mad at the fact that I was having a child-free wedding. Can you imagine that, guys? The woman who had a child-free wedding was mad that I was having one. I just couldn't believe my ears when she said that. I kept asking her if she was serious or if I had maybe gotten it all wrong in my head. But, my sister angrily confirmed

that I was right in my assumption. She hated that I was excluding kids from the wedding. I told her that it was my wedding so I got to decide how to go about it. And, I clearly told her that I didn't want kids at the wedding. My sister absolutely raged at me and called me an immature and entitled Bridezilla because I was going to exclude my innocent nieces and nephews from the wedding. I calmly told her that most of the kids are under five so they will hardly miss the wedding anyway. Plus, I didn't want kids running around and getting into things accidentally. Not to mention that there will be an open bar with lots of drinking. Everyone in the family who is kids actually has infants and toddlers and we all know that

small children cannot be controlled or scolded into behaving. kids will act like kids and instead of dealing with any possible mess, I was just nipping the problem in the bud. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because then my sister went off on me about how I called her child difficult and unmanageable. I told them that I never said anything like that. Kayla's reaction to that was to say that then they should be invited to the wedding since they won't cause any problems like the rest of the kids. I told her that I won't be making an exception like that because then everyone would want to bring their children and call me unfair for playing favorites. I must admit that I have some very close cousins and friends who would be offended and sad if I allowed

stupid Kayla to bring her kids while they couldn't. I explained it all to my sister, but she wasn't having it. The woman screamed and yelled at me to no end. After a point, I got extremely frustrated with her and told her that she had no right to rage at me when she herself had a child-free wedding. I reminded her how she hadn't even allowed me, her own sister, at her wedding. I was excluding literally children while she had excluded her own sister who was just a week away from turning 18. My sister did not like that. She started yelling at me again and told me that I was being petty, vindictive, and immature and holding on to silly grudges. She called me a crazy woman and told me that I was intentionally doing this to spite her for what she did years ago.

I was just about to tell her that this wasn't even about her when she hung up on me. I didn't bother reaching out again so there has been dead silence on my end. My sister, however, is blowing up my phone and calling me names. She has also recruited my parents and has gotten them to blow up my phone too. My parents are telling me that this child-free wedding is probably not a good idea and I shouldn't be heartless to exclude my own nephews from the wedding. They also keep saying that I shouldn't ruin my relationship with my sister. thing and that it's a small request on her part. I don't see how this is a request or even a small one at

that. I am really getting mad at my parents now as well. I talked to my fiancé and he told me that he doesn't want to make exceptions either. If anything, he is extremely annoyed with my sister and parents for trying to change my mind. They know what my sister did at her wedding so he is mad that they are shaming me for the same thing. He doesn't want kids at the wedding top and his of the family is completely fine with it. So, yes, my fiancé is completely on board and doesn't even want my nasty sister at the wedding now. But, my parents and sister are saying the opposite. They are trying to blackmail me as well, which isn't even funny. I love my nephews even if we are not close and it's kind of making me feel a bit guilty. With the wedding preparations and my stressful job, I feel like I will go crazy.

Can you please tell me what I should do now? I literally can't deal with their crap anymore. I am already contemplating eloping and actually would have if not for my fiance's family. They didn't do anything wrong so I don't want them to miss out on their son's big day. But, this nonsense from my family is making me question every decision I made in life. Edit, I am getting too many comments so it's impossible for me to reply to everyone here. So, I'm going to address a few things in this edit. I will include more information on a longer update and this one is just for the questions that keep cropping up. I knew that I would be judged by some people for having a child-free wedding. I really don't see anything wrong with my request.

If I had teenage cousins or something like that, would have included them. But every underage person in the family is under six or seven at most. Also, please don't pretend that children can ruin things. There is also the fact that weddings are long and boring for kids. None of them would enjoy that. Sending them home after the ceremony would be rude and make them feel worse. That's why I don't want to include them in any part of the wedding. You guys also wanted to know what my sister said after I confronted her on her hypocrisy. Well, she had some messed up logic to support her stance. She said that no one really had kids during that time so it made sense for her to have a child-free wedding. But now that most of my cousins have kids, I should

be including them at the party. Now I realize that I would have been literally the only underage guest at Kayla's wedding. None of her friends had married that early and none of our cousins had kids back then. I was the youngest member of the family but still, she didn't make an exception for me. I am starting to question why my parents allowed her to do what she wanted and now have a problem with my decision. I had actually begged them to convince Kayla to invite me but my parents just told me that it was her big day so they had no say in this. Also, there have been questions about what my other cousins and friends have to say about my child-free wedding. Well, they said literally nothing. All of them are SVP ed yes already. Everyone lives nearby and would either

get their families or babysitters to take care of their kids. I mean, I am giving them literally a year's notice so they have plenty of time to make arrangements. I think some of them are secretly happy to have some time away from the kids without feeling guilty about it. I am giving them a chance to unwind and have a little fun instead of being a parent for a full day. Update 1, wow, it feels weird to see so many comments on my post. Although I received a lot of mixed comments, most of the bad comments were from people who hate child-free weddings. I don't understand why some of you think that your child belongs everywhere.

Do you go to adult-only places and demand to take your kids too? I just don't understand this logic. Entitled people like you guys are what made couples opt for child-free weddings in the first place. Children mess up. Period. Getting mad at them would be wrong because they are children so the easy solution is just not letting them come. Also, listen, that kid will barely remember the wedding and probably will go bored out of their mind during the ceremony. Do you know what bored kids do at wedding ceremonies?

Stop acting like children deserve to be everywhere. You guys are no better than my sister. Oh, and some of you really tried reverse psychology or some crap and told me that I shouldn't be complaining about my sister not inviting me to her wedding with the same logic. Well, I was close to 18 and new wedding etiquette really well. I have been going to wedding since I was 14. I never once acted up or caused problems because I was old enough to have full control of myself. If there were any teenagers in the family, I would have allowed them to come.

Again, the kids I excluded are all under six or seven. Just wanted to give my perspective because I am not going to discuss these mean comments again. Everyone else who reached out with good advice has been really helpful. You guys raised some good questions about my sister making drama to be the center of attention. You may not be that far off the mark. My sister hates being a sister. She never wanted a sibling and doesn't like sharing attention at all. I think my parents kind of felt bad for having another kid when she wasn't on board with it.

That's why they tried to take her side and tell me to compromise. At least that's what I think. My sister has thrown some major tantrums in the past on my big days and I think she intentionally set a date close to my 18th birthday because she wanted everyone to talk about her and not me. The 18th birthday is a big thing in my family and people go all out on. that day. I didn't get to have one because everyone was tired after the wedding and my parents were short on cash. I was a little angry and disappointed at that time, so I didn't really care. My sister got full attention on and up to her wedding. She declared her first pregnancy

on my 20th birthday and her second one shortly after I got my first proper job. So, yeah, there is clearly a pattern in that. It actually didn't occur to me but some of your comments really made me think. Maybe my sister is trying to stir up trouble so that at least some of my attention would be on her. I am kind of weary of her right now, but I don't know what to do. Some of you said that I should consider uninviting her. Well, that's unfortunately not an option. My parents are big on the concept of family, so they won't take this well. It's funny that even my fiancée Nate, 27M, has been talking about how my sister shouldn't come if she has such a big problem with our wedding. But, I know that cannot happen. Right now, my parents are pushing to have a family meeting to solve this issue so that we can just get on with our lives. I don't know if it will solve anything but maybe I will attend anyway. They want me and my sister to be there with them so that we can discuss everything with family and under one roof. They are pretty confident that we will come to a good compromise if we do this. I highly doubt that and I don't know what kind of compromise they want on my side. I will know when I will know, I guess.

I am preparing to be firm in my stance and not bend under pressure. I am not a doormat so I am not too concerned. I will make an update to inform you guys how that talk went. Update 2, just got back from the family meeting and I still don't know what to do. My parents had been confident that we would reach a compromise but none of that happened. As I had expected, my sister wasn't going to compromise at all and neither was I. She just kept berating me and yelling at me because I had dared to exclude her precious kids from the wedding.

I tried to explain my stance to her again but she just wasn't having it. My parents felt a little bad for me because I was acting like a civil human being while my sister was screaming like a banshee. But it's not like my sister listens to them anyway. I firmly told Kayla that no amount of screaming or guilt tripping would sway me. Then, she said that I should find and pay for babysitters since I was hell-bent on being a spoil sport. I vehemently denied that because I don't think that's my responsibility. Again, no one was asking for compensation or help other than Kayla. My sister can afford child care just fine. I know she

hired them from time to time for her date nights. But, she wasn't willing to pay for one because not having her kids at my wedding wasn't her decision. I told her that I am not paying for her babysitters just because she wanted me to. Our budgets were tight anyway and there was no way. Nate would approve this either. Kayla then started screaming about how she would have to scramble to find a babysitter on such short notice so the least I can do is pay for it. I laughed and reminded her that she has an entire year to make arrangements. My parents then offered to pay for her babysitters but Kayla didn't want their money. Yeah, she was being petty. She wanted me to pay for not taking her feelings into consideration about my wedding. My parents also tried suggesting that

Kayla's husband stay at home with the kids while she attends the wedding. My sister didn't like that suggestion one bit. After what felt like forever, I was absolutely done with the conversation. I was already mentally drained and my sister's tantrums had exhausted me. I told her that I am not changing my wedding for her and if she is so much problem with it, she doesn't have to attend. My sister then screamed at me and my parents supported her. They told me that I shouldn't say those things and I should want my sister at the wedding. I left a little after because again the conversation wasn't going anywhere. I knew that the meeting was useless and didn't do me any good. I am back home now and just told Nate what happened. He had gotten more furious than before.

My parents and sister are still blowing up my phone with nonsense but I haven't checked it yet. Now I am really considering eloping and not inviting my side of the family at all. If the extended family asks me why no one was invited, I will tell them to ask my parents. I am literally at my wits end and eloping is probably the best option right now. Update 3. Before I make this update, let me tell you that you have no idea how much your lovely comments have helped me. I was just sick of everything and felt like my wedding was already ruined. I haven't even properly planned the wedding but problems have started to pour in. I felt extremely unmotivated and couldn't even feel the excitement anymore.

All these wedding processes were being overshadowed by my sister's nonsense. I was really close to just eloping with Nate and was about to tell him to warn his family. But, your comments have really opened my eyes. You are right in telling me that I shouldn't punish my friends and the extended family because they haven't done anything. Also, you pointed out that my sister was already making this whole thing about herself and probably succeeded in getting the main attention on her. It was like a light bulb went off in my head. My sister was actually already ruining my wedding and I was letting it happen. I should have

shut down this nonsense way sooner. I don't even know why I was so insistent on having her presence when we didn't even have a good relationship anymore. Kela has already proved that she won't change. I am just wasting my breath and giving her unnecessary importance. I thought about all these things. Then, I decided to have a little sit down with my parents. I also brought Nate along for support. We had the meeting without my sister because I wanted to talk to my parents privately. You guys have really bashed my parents for their role in this mess. I am mad at them but at the end of the day they are still my parents. And, they are a lot better than my horrible sister. So, I wanted to have a little talk with them to try and make them understand my side. We talked to

talked for a long time and I absolutely unloaded my feelings on them. It wasn't a calm and collected discussion at all. I was crying, my parents were crying. It was really emotional. This time I didn't hold back. I reminded my parents of all the times Kayla ruined my special days and did something to take the attention away from me. I reminded them how they had refused to convince Kayla to include me in the wedding so she had no right to tell me to include her kids. I absolutely unloaded on them and even told them that they were all making me want to cancel everything and just elope. I think my parents were seriously affected by the fact that I wanted to elope just because I was too weary of planning my own wedding. Nate also piped up and said that he supported eloping since all this drama is already making me not want a big wedding.

My mom cried and my father started to desperately tell me that I shouldn't do this. They were very apologetic and sort of accepted her own role and how my sister kept intentionally tariff. targeting me over the years. I was right in assuming that they tended to take Kayla's side because she has often criticized them for giving her a sibling and making her share everything with me. The level of jealousy and greed my sister has is just insane. I am just so done with her now. I had a long talk with my parents and Nate gave his thoughts too which was actually really helpful. He provided an outside perspective that made my parents realize that they were being extremely unfair with me. They begged us not to elope, because

because they didn't want to miss my wedding. Interestingly, they also said that they wanted to really enjoy my wedding since they had spent most of my other milestones calming Kayla down or celebrating her achievements instead. I already told you that Kayla always found a way to ruin my special days. My parents also seemed to be done with that behavior of hers. Thank God they finally understood me and have promised to be better. As for my sister, I don't care anymore. I will draft a no-contact letter soon and also un-invite her for my wedding. Nate and I have already made our decision and my parents are now on board with it. Kayla may be my sister, but I will not be a complete doormat for her sake.

I am serious when I say that I am done. Update 4 hi, guys, so, I just had to pop back in to make a last update. A lot of you have been to mang me wanting to know what happened because you guys expected some drama. Yes, there had been some drama for my sister after I communicated my decisions with her but things are pretty calm for me now. I mean, I kind of expected her to create drama but this time she suffered more than I did. You may want to know how my sister ended up suffering which is why I came back to make an update. Spoiler alert, my sister is now having marriage troubles.

So, as promised, I drafted and sent my sister a text and an email telling her that she has been officially uninvited and I am going no contact with her indefinitely. I had mentioned everything she had done to me and reminded her of how nasty she has been. I told her that I didn't want her drama anymore and that I was done being a complete doormat. I sent my sister the email and while she blew up again. I was actually pretty surprised that she felt offended when I uninvited her and went into contact with her. I thought she would have been happy since she never wanted me in her life in the first place. But, she was offended and she went to my parents to complain because I wasn't replying to her texts. She was in for a rude surprise because my parents

supported me instead of hers. So, she went and told the rest of the family that I was excluding her because of nothing and that I was a jealous and mean bright assila. At first, people were texting me to solve things and go easy on her. But then, one of my cousins, Giselle, 34, dropped a bombshell in the group chat. According to Giselle, my sister was mad at me for uninviting her from my wedding because she had planned something to steal the attention away from me. Giselle told us that Kayla was actively trying to convince her husband for a third child and had planned to either show up pregnant or announce her pregnancy at the wedding. So, it looks like my sister is even more messed up than I thought. She had stupidly shared her

plans with Giselle after I got engaged. Kala had even proudly declared to her that she would humble me at my own wedding and take over the limelight like always. I won't go into the details of what else she said, but it just proves that Kayla is somewhat obsessed with the competition between us. There is no competition on my end, but she has sort of always seen me as a rival. She had been pissed when she learned that she may never get a chance to upstage me again because I was going no contact with her. You can only imagine how badly things blew up for her after Giselle spilled the beans. Long story short, everyone thinks she is crazy and and my own parents have been extremely mad at her.

Quite surprisingly, Kayla didn't deny anything and instead tried to justify her actions. I think it ended up making things worse because her husband didn't like the way Kayla was acting. From what my parents tell me, he was not amused by the fact that Kayla was pushing for a third child just to overshadow my wedding. Apparently, she has also displayed some competitive behavior

with his sister and cousins so his family has been upset with her already. This thing was just the last straw for him and he told her that she either got help or they divorced. Kayla went crying to our parents and blamed me for ruining her marriage out of jealousy. Yeah, apparently this is also my fault. Oh, she had tried to call me and yell at me from a different number, but I hung up as soon as I recognized her voice. Thankfully, she stopped her antics in a few days because her husband started to really get mad. As of now, they are attending couples counseling while her husband, is sleeping in another room.

Pretty sure that the guy is staying because of the kids. He has been upset for a while because Kayla's antics had ruined his relationship with his family members too. I am hoping that this time Kayla will take things seriously and finally work on herself. As for me, it looks like I will be getting a peaceful and drama-free wedding after all. Thank you so much for all your input because it did help me set some strong boundaries. But, this will be the last update since it's unlikely to. things will get bad again. If they do, you know that I will come back with a fresh post.

I hope you enjoy this story. My partner felt ashamed of the engagement band I gifted her, so she began covertly sporting her pals gemstone at her job and informed her colleagues that I was domineering and manipulative with money. Some background, I'm 28M, my fiancé Brenda is 26F, and we've been together for about three years. I proposed two months ago with what I thought was a beautiful ring. I spent $3,000 on it, which for me was a significant amount of money. I'm work at a mid-size firm, make decent money but I'm not rolling in cash. I also have student loans and I've been trying to save up for a house-down payment because I figured that would be more important for our future together than blowing everything on a

piece of jewelry. The ring itself is really nice, it's a 1-carat diamond, Vs2 Clarity, G-color, in a white gold setting. I did my research, went to several jewelers, and even had my sister come with me to get a woman's opinion. Everyone said it was beautiful and that Brenda would love it. The jeweler assured me it was a quality stone and a classic setting that would never go out of style. When I proposed, Brenda said yes and seemed happy. She cried, we called our families, posted on social media, the whole thing. But I started noticing she wanted she was. wasn't wearing it much after the first week. When I asked about it, she said she was just being careful with it at work.

Fair enough, I thought. But then her mother came to visit last weekend. Nora has always been. Particular about things. She's the type who makes comments about people's cars, houses, clothes, whatever. I've learned to mostly ignore it, but this time was different. Brenda showed her mom the ring, and I swear I watched Nora's face just fall. She tried to recover quickly, but I caught that initial reaction.

Then she starts asking all these questions about the specs, where I bought it, how much it cost. I felt uncomfortable answering the cost question, but Brenda was looking at me expectantly, so I told them. The silence that followed was awful. Nora just went, oh, I see. and then changed the subject. Later that evening, I overheard them talking in the kitchen. Nora was saying things like, honey, you know I love you, but this ring. It's just not what I pictured for my daughter and are you sure he's really committed to providing for you?

Brenda was defending me at first, but then Nora said, look at your cousin Helen's ring, now that's a ring that shows how much a man values his woman. For context, Helen's fiancé is a surgeon and her ring is probably worth more. more than my car. The next day, Brenda sits me down with her mom and very gently suggests that maybe we should upgrade the ring. She said she loved the thought behind it, but maybe we could find something with more presence. I asked what she meant by that, and she said her mom made some good points about how an engagement ring is something she'll wear every day for the rest of her life, and how important it is that it reflects our relationship. I told her I thought it already did

reflect our relationship, that I put thought and care into choosing it, and that I spent what I could responsibly afford. She said she understood, but couldn't we maybe look at some other options? Maybe finance a nicer one. This is where I probably messed up, because I got a bit defensive. I said that if the ring wasn't good enough for her, maybe she should give it back and we could reconsider the whole engagement. I didn't mean it as an ultimatum, I was just frustrated and felt like she was basically saying my effort wasn't worth anything. She got upset and said that wasn't what she meant at all, and how could I even suggest calling off the engagement over a ring? I said I wasn't calling it off, but I wasn't going to go into debt or drain my savings to buy a bigger diamond either.

The ring I bought is beautiful and more than adequate. Her mom jumped in at that point and said I was being stubborn and selfish and that a man who really loves a woman wants to give her the best he can. I said I did give her the best I could, the best I could afford while still being financially responsible. Then Nora said something that really got under my skin. She said maybe you two aren't ready for marriage if you can't even handle this conversation maturely. Like I was the one being immature for not wanting to spend $10,000 on a ring. So now Brenda isn't talking to me much. Her mom is definitely not talking to me, and I'm standing my ground on not returning the ring. I think it's a beautiful ring and I think they're being materialistic and shallow.

Brenda says I'm being inflexible and not considering her feelings. I'da here. Should I just suck it up and get a more expensive ring to keep the piece? Edit. A lot of people are asking about our finances and whether I actually told Brenda my budget beforehand. To answer, no, we never. specifically discussed a number, but she knows my salary and my student loan situation. She's never seemed materialistic before this. We split most things pretty evenly and she's

never expected me to pay for expensive things for her. That's why this whole thing caught me off guard. Edit 2, also getting questions about the ring specs, yes, it's a real diamond, certified, from a reputable jeweler. It's not huge, but it's not tiny either. I've shown pictures to friends and co-workers and everyone has said it's lovely. Update, so Nora called me yesterday. Nora spent about 20 minutes explaining to me why I was wrong about everything. According to her, the issue isn't really about the money, it's about what the ring represents. She said that an engagement ring is a symbol of how much a man values his future wife, and by choosing a modest ring.

I'm basically telling the world that I don't value Brenda very much. I tried to explain that I do value Brenda, which is why I spent what I could responsibly afford and put thought into choosing something beautiful. But Nora cut me off and said that real men's sacrifice for the women they love and that I would find a way to get her a proper ring. When I asked what she meant by find a way, she suggested I could take out a loan, ask my parents for help, or maybe pick up some side work. I told her that I wasn't going to go into debt for a piece of jewelry,

and she said that was exactly the problem, I was prioritizing money over Brenda's happiness. Then she really went for the throat. She said that Brenda has been crying herself to sleep because she's embarrassed to show her friends the ring. She said Brenda's been making excuses to avoid getting together with her friend group because she doesn't want them to see it. Nora said she's watched her daughter's self-esteem tank over this and that I was being cruel and selfish by refusing to fix the situation. That hit me hard because if that's true, then I definitely didn't. I definitely don't want Brenda to feel that way.

But then Nora kept going and said that maybe Brenda settled for me and that perhaps she deserves someone who would move heaven and earth to make her happy. I told Nora that she was out of line and that this was between Brenda and me. She said that as Brenda's mother, she had every right to advocate for her daughter's happiness and that if I couldn't step up and be the man Brenda needs, then maybe I should think about whether I'm really ready for marriage. After I hung up, I was honestly shaken. So I called Brenda and asked her directly if what her mom said was true. Brenda admitted that she has been feeling self-conscious about the ring. She said it's not that she doesn't appreciate the thought, but when she's around her friends or co-workers,

she feels like she has to explain or make excuses for it. She said one of her co-workers made a comment about how cute and vintage it looked, which Brenda took as a polite way of saying it looked cheap. I asked her why she didn't just talk to me about this instead of having her mom call me. She said she tried, but I got defensive and she didn't want to hurt my feelings more. She said she loves me and doesn't want to seem ungrateful, but she just wishes we could find a compromise. I asked what kind of compromise she had in mind. She said maybe we could trade in the current ring as part of a down payment on something larger,

and we could finance the rest. She showed me some rings online that she liked, they were all in the $8,000 to $12,000 range. I told her I wasn't comfortable financing a luxury purchase like that, especially when we're supposed to be saving for a wedding and a house. She said those things could wait, but an engagement ring is something she'll have forever. We're at a stalemate now. She's not wearing the ring at all anymore, which honestly makes me feel like crap. I don't know if I'm being stubborn or if I'm right to stick to my principles here.

Part of me wonders if this is just the beginning. If she's not happy with a $3,000 ring, what happens when we're married and she wants other expensive things? But then another part of me thinks maybe I am being inflexible and should just make her happy. I'm honestly lost here. The whole thing has put a huge strain on our relationship and I don't know how to fix it without either going against my financial principles or making Brenda unhappy. Update 2. Quick update because this situation keeps getting weirder and I need to vent somewhere. So after my last

post, Brenda and I had what I thought was a productive conversation. We agreed to table the ring discussion for a week and just try to get back to normal. She said she would start wearing the ring again and we'd figure out a solution that worked for both of us. Except yesterday I found out she's been, creative with that promise. My buddy Alvin works in the same office building as Brenda, different company, but they sometimes run into each other in the lobby or at the coffee shop downstairs. He texted me yesterday with a weird question, he asked if Brenda had gotten a different engagement ring because the one she was wearing didn't look like the one in her Instagram photos. I was confused, so I asked him to describe what he saw. He said it looked

bigger and more sparkly than the one I proposed with. When Brenda got home that night, I asked about her day and mentioned that Alvin had seen her. She seemed a little flustered but didn't say anything specific. Then I asked if she was wearing her ring at work. She got defensive immediately and said, of course, she was wearing it. So I asked to see it. She hesitated for a second, then went to get her purse and pulled out my ring. But here's the thing, she pulled it out of her purse, not off her finger.

When I pointed that out, she admitted that she's been borrowing her friend Monica's old engagement ring to where to work. Monica apparently upgraded her ring after a few years and kept the old one as a backup. Brenda said she's just been wearing Monica's ring during the day and putting mine back on when she gets home. I asked her why, and she said she was tired of feeling embarrassed at work. She said every time someone would comment on her ring or ask to see it, she would feel ashamed. She said wearing Monica's ring just made her feel more confident. I told her that really hurt my feelings and that I felt like she was lying to me and to everyone else. She said she wasn't lying, she was just.

Managing the situation until we figured out a permanent solution. I asked her what she tells people when they ask about the ring she's wearing. She said she just doesn't correct them if they assume it's hers. When I pointed out that still basically lying, she got a little. upset and said I was making this about me when it should be about finding a solution that makes both of us happy. Then she said something that really bothered me. She said it's not like I'm hurting anyone. Monica's ring just looks more like what people expect an engagement ring to look like. I asked her what that meant, and she said that a bigger ring just looks more serious

and people take the relationship more seriously when they see it. She said with my ring, people sometimes make comments about how we're probably just testing things out or how sweet it is that we're taking things slow. That stung because it made me realize she's not just embarrassed by the ring, she's embarrassed by what she thinks it says about our relationship and about me as a provider. We ended up having a big fight about honesty and what marriage is supposed to be based on. I told her that if she can't be proud to wear a ring I gave her, then maybe we have bigger problems than the size of the diamond. She said I was being dramatic and that this is just about social expectations and wanting to feel confident.

She's still not wearing my ring. It's sitting in the jewelry box on her dresser. I see it every morning when I get dressed and it makes me feel like shit. I don't know what to do here. I feel like she's ashamed of me in our relationship, but she insists that's not true. She says she loves me and wants to marry me, but she just wants to feel good about her ring. The whole thing is making me question whether we're compatible long term. Is this really about the ring, or is it about deeper issues with how she sees our relationship and our future?

Update 3, this keeps getting worse, and I honestly don't know what to think anymore. Remember my friend Alvin who works in the same building as Brenda? Well, yesterday he asked if we could grab a beer because he had something to tell me that he thought I should know. Apparently, Brenda has been talking to people in her office about our situation. But the version she's telling is, not exactly what's been happening. According to Alvin, who heard this from one of his friends who works with Brenda, the story going around Brenda's office is that I'm financially controlling and that I've been hiding money from her. She's apparently told people that she found out I have more money saved than I told her,

and that I'm refusing to spend it on her ring because I don't want her to have nice things. Alvin said his friend was actually concerned about Brenda being in an abusive situation and asked if she should recommend some resources for women in controlling relationships. I was honestly shocked. I asked Alvin exactly what his friend had heard, and he said Brenda told people that I have a secret savings account that I won't touch, and that when she asked about getting a nicer ring, I became angry and threatening and told her she should be grateful for what she gets. None of that is true. Yes, I have savings. but it's not secret, it's my house down payment fund that Brenda knows about. We've talked about it multiple times.

And I never threatened her or told her to be grateful for what she gets. I told her I wasn't comfortable going into debt for jewelry, which I think is reasonable. But apparently the story has grown in the telling. Alvin said Brenda also told people that I control all the finances in our relationship and that she's not allowed to make purchases without my permission. Again, completely untrue. We split most expenses and she has her own credit cards and bank accounts that I have nothing to do with. I was really upset when Alvin told me this, but I tried to stay calm.

I asked him to thank his friend for being concerned but to let her know that the situation isn't what Brenda described. When Brenda got home, I confronted her about it. I tried to be non-accusatory and just asked if she'd been talking to people at work about our ring situation. She immediately got defensive and said that sometimes she needs to vent to friends about stress in her life. I said that was fine, but I'd heard that the story she was telling wasn't quite accurate. She asked what I meant, so I told her what Alvin had told me. Her face went red and she started crying. She said she never meant for it to sound like I was abusive, and that she was just frustrated

and maybe exaggerated some things. I asked her to explain what she meant by exaggerating. She said that when her co-workers were asking why I wouldn't get a bigger ring, she felt like she had to justify it somehow. She said she mentioned that I had savings I wouldn't spend, and that I got upset when she brought up upgrading the ring. I said that still didn't explain why people think I'm controlling or that I threaten her. She said those details might have gotten twisted as the story was retold, and that she never actually said those things. But then one of her co-workers called while we were talking. Brenda stepped out to take the call, but I could hear parts of the conversation.

The co-worker was asking if Brenda was safe and if she needed help. Brenda assured her that everything was fine and that people had misunderstood the situation. After she hung up, I told her that this had gone way too far. I said that having her coworkers think I'm financially abusive could seriously damage my reputation, and more importantly, it's completely unfair to me. She apologized and said she would clarify things with people at work. But then she said something that really bothered me. But you have to understand that from the outside,

it does look weird that you won't spend more on my ring when you have the money, I said that I don't have the money, I have savings for a specific purpose, and that spending our house down payment on jewelry would be financially irresponsible. She said she understood that, but other people don't know our full situation so they make assumptions. I pointed out that if she explained our actual situation honestly, people wouldn't make those assumptions.

She said she didn't want to get into all the details of our finances with her coworkers. The whole conversation left me feeling really unsettled. It seems like Brenda is more concerned about how things look to other people than about how her words might affect me. And the fact that she let people believe I was controlling and potentially abusive just wants a more expensive ring is really hard for me to get past. I'm starting to wonder if I really know the person I'm engaged to. The Brenda I fell in love with wouldn't throw me under the bus like this, but here we are. I don't know if this is salvageable anymore. The ring issue was one thing,

but having people think I'm abusive. That's a line I never thought she would cross. Final update. Well, it's over. I honestly thought we might be able to work through this, but what happened over the weekend made it clear that wasn't going to happen. After my last update about Brenda telling people I was financially abusive, things were pretty tense between us. She did talk to her coworkers and supposedly cleared up the misunderstanding, but I could tell she was resentful about having to do it.

She kept making comments about how I was making her look like a liar when she was just trying to cope with a difficult situation. Friday night, her mom Nora came to town again. I should have seen the warning signs, but I thought maybe we could all sit down and finally resolve this like adults. Instead, it turned into an intervention. Nora, Brenda, and apparently Brenda's sister Gina, who drove up from Portland, had planned this whole thing. They sat me down in our living room and Nora started off by saying they were all concerned about my pattern of behavior and thought I needed to understand how my actions were affecting Brenda. Nora said that she'd been doing some research on engagement ring traditions

and spending, and that the standard is for a man to spend two to three months salary on an engagement ring. By her calculations, I should have spent at least $8,000, and closer to $12,000 to be appropriate. When I pointed out that the two-month salary thing was literally a marketing campaign invented by De Beers, Nora said that didn't matter because it's what people expect now. She said that by spending less, I was publicly announcing that Brenda wasn't worth a proper investment. Gina jumped in and said she was worried about Brenda's future with someone who was already showing controlling tendencies around money. She said that in a healthy relationship, partners prioritize each other's happiness over arbitrary financial rules.

I tried to defend myself, but every time I spoke, one of them would be. interrupt with another point about how I was being unreasonable. Nora said that Brenda had been incredibly patient with me, but that my refusal to compromise was forcing her to question the relationship. Then Brenda spoke up. She said that she'd been doing a lot of thinking, and she realized that this wasn't really about the ring anymore. She said it was about whether I was willing to show up for her when it mattered. She said she'd found a ring she loved, a two-carat oval diamond in a halo setting for $15,000. She said she'd talked to the jeweler about payment plans,

and we could finance it over two years with manageable monthly payments. Then she gave me an ultimatum. She said that if I wasn't willing to get the ring she wanted, then she didn't think we should get married. She said that a man who really wanted to marry her would find a way to make it happen, and my refusal showed that I wasn't truly committed to our future together. Nora nodded along and said this was Brenda.

Brenda finally standing up for herself and that she was proud of her daughter for not settling for less than she deserved. I sat there for a minute, honestly stunned. Then I asked Brenda if she was serious, if she was really willing to end our three-year relationship and cancel our wedding over a ring. She said it wasn't about the ring, it was about what the ring represented. She said if I couldn't understand why this mattered to her, then maybe we weren't as compatible as she thought. I realized in that moment that there was no compromise here.

Brenda and her family had decided what they thought I should do, and anything less than complete compliance was unacceptable. I was being asked to prove my love by going into debt for a piece of jewelry, and if I refused, I was selfish and controlling. So I stood up and went to the bedroom. I got the ring box from Brenda's dresser. I brought it back to the living room. I told her, that if a $15,000 ring was more important to her than our relationship, then she was right, we weren't compatible. I said I wasn't going to be manipulated into debt to prove my love, and I wasn't going to stay in a relationship where my financial boundaries weren't respected. Brenda started crying and asked if I was really ending things over this. I said no, she was

ending things over this. I was just accepting her decision. Norah started yelling at me, calling me selfish and saying I was throwing away the best thing that ever happened to me. Gina said I was proving Brenda right about my character. But Brenda just sat there crying. I packed a bag and went to stay at my buddy Mike's place. Brenda texted me a bunch over the weekend, saying she didn't mean for things to go that far and asking if we could talk. The next day I went back to get more of my stuff while she was at work.

I left the apartment key on the counter and texted her that I'd be by for the rest of my things later this week. My phone has been buzzing with texts from her family and friends. Most of them are calling me an asshole and saying I gave up too easily. A few people have said they understand my position but think I should have tried harder to compromise. But here's the thing, I don't think this was really about the ring. I think this was about Brenda and her family's values being fundamentally different from mine. I see expensive gestures as proof of love and commitment.

I see financial responsibility and thoughtful choices as proof of love and commitment. If Brenda had come to me and said I know this might sound shallow, but having a bigger rain would really make me happy, and here's a plan for how we could afford it without jeopardizing our other goals, that would have been a conversation. But instead, I got ultimatums and implications that I was a bad partner for not automatically prioritizing her once over a our financial stability. I'm sad that it ended this way. Better to find out now than after we were married and had joint finances. The ring is back in my possession, by the way. I'm probably going to return it and put the money back in my house fund. Maybe someday I'll find someone who appreciates the thought behind a gift more than the price tag. Thanks to everyone who commented on my posts throughout

this whole mess. It really helped to know that I wasn't crazy for thinking. this whole situation was unreasonable. Edit, a lot of people are asking if I think Brenda was influenced by her mom and if I regret not trying to separate the two issues. Honestly, maybe Nora pushed her in this direction, but Brenda is 26 years old and made her own choices. She chose to lie to her co-workers about me, chose to wear someone else's ring, and chose to give me an ultimatum.

I can't blame all of that on her mother. Edit 2. Some people are saying I'm being too harsh and that lots of women care about their rings. I get that, and I'm not saying women shouldn't care about their engagement rings. But there's a difference between caring about your ring and being willing to end a relationship over it. If the ring was truly just about her happiness and not about status or money, we could have found a compromise that worked for both of us. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse traveled to England for a marriage ceremony. I received a message from an unfamiliar person containing images of her earpieces discovered in a different gentleman's pouch.

Presently, she is relocating there on a long-term basis and leaving our children behind. Hello everyone. I, M-47, have a comfortable and fulfilling life. I have a job I truly enjoy, I live in a nice suburb, and am blessed. with three wonderful children, M8, F6, F4, and a lovely wife, Emily, 45. I've always felt Emily and I were an ideal match. However, a recent email I received has deeply unsettled me and planted a seed of doubt in my mind. Emily lived in the UK between 2010 and 2015, during which time she pursued a PhD.

Because she lived there so long, she developed many close friendships and has made it a to return every couple of years to maintain those ties. This past August, she traveled to the UK for three weeks to attend the wedding of one of her close friends. After some consideration, we agreed that it would be best for me and the children to remain at home, as I could not take that much time away from work, and the children were unlikely to find much enjoyment in such an event. Emily departed, returned as expected, and life returned to normal for us. Last week, I received an email on my work email address. It was supposedly from the wife of Emily's friend, I'll call him Jake, M44.

According to this woman, she has a very strong reason to suspect that Jake and Emily engaged in an affair. She listed off her suspicions, noting Jake had picked Emily up from the airport, spent considerable time at her hotel, and how the two of them frequently went out to dinner alone. She even included pictures of my wife's earrings that she said she found in Jake's pockets when she was doing the laundry and pictures of a lipstick stain on a shirt. The color is one I recognize as something Emily often wears. There is some other evidence she listed off. For the sake of conceitness I will not include them here. All this was a lot to absorb, and for a while, I thought it was some sort of joke, so I tried my best to ignore it, but it kept coming back into my mind.

mind. I remember that before her trip, my wife would talk to all her friends there. I don't know if this email is influencing my memory, but I think she probably spoke with Jake the most. Additionally, I know Emily never liked Jake's wife, though I can't say why. I've never pried into Emily's phone or social media accounts before, but I feel very tempted to now. However, I know I'd feel terrible if I looked and found nothing. Also, if I start acting suspicious, wouldn't she just delete everything out of fear of being found out? I am unsure of how to move forward and would welcome any guidance on handling this. The best I can currently come up with is asking to see her phone immediately after confronting her about it so as to not give her no time to delete anything, though part of me

thinks this would upset her and potentially not even show anything. Edit, I forgot to include, my wife no longer has these earrings. She wasn't wearing them when she returned and when I asked, she said she lost them. Comments where OP has replied. Commenter one, info, the other evidence bears listing. Best to have all the facts as you understand them, concision aside. Oop, it isn't as solid as the other stuff she shared which is why I decided to leave it out. But the other evidence is as follows.

She said that every day Emily was there, Jake would either go see her or talk on the phone with her. She also said that whenever Jake was on the phone with Emily, he'd quickly hang up or leave the room if he noticed her. She mentioned they seemed to not even hide how much physical contact they'd have as they'd always find an excuse to touch each other. They'd reminisce about old times a lot. She even said the way they would look at each other. Commenter to, NTA and show your wife the email from this person and ask the question. Oop, I guess I will, here's hoping it turns out to be nothing. Update 1, October 18th, 2024. A few hours after sharing my first post, I confronted Emily, she confirmed my fears.

She claims she's in love with Jake and can't live a lie any longer. She still claims to love me and the kids but says she can't. stay with us any longer. According to her, she was waiting for a better time to tell me and the children. Apparently, this has been going on since March, with Jake flying out here occasionally in Emily secretly meeting him. We're getting divorced. Emily is moving to the UK soon. She confirmed that in August, in addition to the wedding, she attended a job interview, and she's set to start around the new year. She's already applied for a British visa. She plans to live with Jake once she moves.

As for custody, Emily is voluntarily surrendering her chance of full custody. She doesn't want to uproot the kids, so they'll stay here in Canada with me. There's a part of me that appreciates that decision, but there's also the part that is astonished at how easily she's walking away. She wants to pay child support, but I'd rather raise my children without her financial influence. That said, the court will likely insist on support, regardless of my feelings. Emily is also seeking structured visitation rights, which, given the circumstances, will likely be granted. Based on what I've been told, the court generally leans toward arrangements that allow

both parents to maintain relationships with the children, even when one is relocating to a different country. The lawyers are still working out the details, but it seems she'll have visitation during school breaks and holidays, with the possibility of virtual calls in between. I've been keeping things as amicable as possible, and the more cooperative I am, the more Emily seems to agree with my demands. We are also discussing the future of our home. Emily has expressed a desire to sell the property and divide the proceeds. While I am reluctant to part with a family home, it is unlikely I have much of a choice

since it was bought during our marriage. For now, our lawyers are still working through the details, and no final decisions have been made. Given the situation, it could be a good while before we reach a resolution. In the meantime, I've been advised not to make any major financial moves. As much as I want to stay here with the children, I know selling is most likely inevitable. As of this writing, Emily is in an Airbnb and Jake has flown here to stay with her. They plan on traveling to the UK at some point in the near future. My lawyer tells me that adultery isn't grounds for special treatment and it comes to custody or property division.

Therefore, it won't influence how assets are divided unless marital funds are directly involved. Emily likely used money from her personal account. Unless it can be proven she used our joint finances to fund the affair, it's unlikely this will make any difference in court. I have been in regular communication with Jake's soon-to-be ex-wife, Eleanor, primarily through email, and more recently, we've spoken over the phone a few times. Eleanor apologized, saying she felt guilty for telling me about the affair and worried that if she hadn't, maybe my marriage could have been salvaged. I reassured her that, for me, the gravity of the situation made divorce inevitable,

and I'd rather not remain in the dark about something of this significance. She even sent me messages and other evidence of their relationship, but since Emily is openly admitting to the affair, it doesn't really matter in the context of the law. Eleanor has also told me a lot about Jake, apparently, this is the third time he's cheated on her, and she's had enough. There's no chance of reconciliation this time, she says, and he doesn't seem interested in trying. She mentioned that Jake has zero desire to raise children who are not biologically his. which explains why Emily's not fighting for custody.

Eleanor's divorce will most likely be much longer and more drawn out than mine given that both her and Jake want full custody of their children and can't agree on several other issues. I haven't had much time to process everything. These past two weeks have felt like a blur in every way. But one thing I can say with certainty is that I have nothing left for Emily. Not because she betrayed our marriage, but because of how easily she's walking away from our children.

I never thought I could hate someone I once loved so much, it's a strange feeling. The hardest part in all of this is the children. My two youngest daughters have started asking why their mother isn't around as much anymore, and it's been very difficult trying to communicate with them about the nature of the situation. My eldest seems to understand a little more and, as a result, he has become quiet and withdrawn. I'm fortunate to have a family that has been incredibly supportive so far. My children have received numerous thoughtful letters from some of their cousins, which I've been reading to them each night. All my siblings have also sent gifts for the kids,

and one of my brothers, along with his wife, drove up to visit over the past weekend. My sister-in-law even prepared plenty of food, some of which is still in the freezer. They also kept the children entertained while I met with my lawyer. My other siblings have also offered to come by and look after the kids whenever I need them. Beyond that, my parents have been calling daily to check in on us, and my 78-year-old mother has already made plans to stay with us for two weeks in November to help around the house. The collective effort of my family has made this experience much more bearable, and I'm deeply grateful for all their support.

To everyone who encouraged me to speak with Emily after my last post, I'm grateful. I was tempted to ignore Eleanor's message, but it kept gnawing at me. Your advice gave me the courage to act. Emily has shown herself to be a liar, and I have no doubt that her idea of a better time was simply when it would cause the least inconvenience for her and Jake. Think of this less as an update and more as a chance to vent a few things now that I've had more time to process my situation. I know that Emily often traveled back and forth to the UK during our marriage. She claims her affair with Jake only began in March 24, but I'm convinced she's lying. It's almost certain that this has been going on for years.

Given how much she had already prepared by the time I confronted her, it's become clear to me and everyone else that she had been planning this for some time. In fact, within a few short days of our confrontation, she already had certain legal documents prepared. Additionally, Jake arriving in Canada shortly after I confirmed. made it clear that they had planned for her to tell me roughly around this date in advance. It makes sense that Emily was well prepared and was just waiting for things to be better lined up for herself. After all, she'd long since applied for her visa, secured a job, secretly appraised her car, our family car, though it was under her name, and sent personal

items with Jake to the UK during his secret visits, all right under my oblivious nose. I have a feeling I'm only scratching the surface and have no real idea of how far this actually goes, not that Emily would ever tell me its depth. In addition to all of this, Emily had already been in touch with her lawyer long before I confronted her. Taking all this into account, it's hard not to wonder if she secured her job even earlier than she let on, perhaps to make her actions seem less calculated. Two of Emily's friends have since reached out to express shock and disappointment by her actions. One of them, Janet, mentioned that according to another friend, Emily had been consulting her divorce lawyer as far back as late August or early September, and this other friend also confirmed my suspicion that Emily had been sending some of her belongings to the UK during Jake's visits. I've been losing sleep, replaying the past few months in my mind, maybe driving myself a little crazy, but so. certain things stand out. For example, when Emily went to the UK in August for the wedding,

she was carrying three fully loaded suitcases. She told me that they were filled with presents for her friends and I didn't question it, even though it seemed a bit excessive at the time. When I picked her up from the airport after her trip, I noticed the bags were suspiciously light. I can assume that in addition to the job interview she claimed to attend, she transported a bunch of her personal items to the UK which would explain why since her return, she seemed to have been wearing a smaller selection of her clothing. Despite this, I was somehow blindsided, and I completely blame myself. Looking back, I can see there were signs I ignored, and I guess I didn't think Emily was capable of this sort of thing. A part of me wonders if this outcome could have been

avoided entirely had I been more assertive and vigilant in the past. The worst part of all is that my children are now dealing with the consequences of my ignorance and stupidity. While I twiddled my thumbs, my wife had essentially started a new life. Most people in my life now know about my separation from Emily. I've stopped wearing my wedding band, and I've explained the situation to friends and colleagues who noticed its absence. One of my close friends, and many others who reached out privately on Reddit, have suggested I get DNA tests for the children, given Emily's travel patterns and tendency to lie. While I understand where they are coming from, this is something I'll never do. I'd never assign my children to another man. Nothing will change that. Life without Emily has thus

far been difficult. Mornings have become a hectic rush. Between getting the kids ready and getting myself out the door, I'm barely on time for work for nearly half the week. It's frankly exhausting trying to keep up with all the extra parenting duties I have to perform throughout the day. Our current home has a large driveway, so on top of everything else, I'm already dreading the task of shoveling it once the snow starts falling. The kids are feeling the strain, as well. They don't particularly like the food I prepare most days and they hate how I'm always busy. It's incredibly frustrating to know that while we're here struggling, Emily recently departed for a relaxing vacation through Europe with Jake. Communication between us has dwindled, and I only learned of these developments recently.

I have no idea if she plans to return to Canada after her vacation or settle directly into what will likely be a very comfortable life in the UK. On a more positive note, I was able to get the kids to see their doctor recently. She gave me a bunch of useful resources and advice. She placed an emphasis on how time and clear communication were the most important factors for their adjustment. While I'm optimistic, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. It's still early, I know, but they remain quite upset about the entire ordeal and act out regularly as a result. It is abundantly clear that they're having a hard time adjusting to our new reality. Throughout all of this, my family has been a tremendous support.

My mother arrived as promised early last week, and things have already become significantly easier. The kids enjoy her cooking and spending time with her. Her presence has also freed me to handle other tasks. Whenever the divorce is finalized, I plan to designate my eldest brother and sister-in-law as legal guardians for the children. They live relatively nearby and have already agreed to take on that role if needed, which brings me some peace of mind. However, I highly doubt this will be any time soon given my much busier schedule and Emily dragging her feet before traveling. The whole process has slowed to a snail's pace. One of the hardest aspects of all this has been making decisions about our family home.

After considerable thought and speaking it over many times with my family, I'm leaning towards selling at this stage. Emily has already offered me a bit more than half of the proceeds since she sold our SUV right before leaving the country. My lawyer has noted that selling the SUV before we finalized anything was premature on her part, considering I contributed significantly, 40% to the purchase. He thinks I have strong grounds to seek reimbursement elsewhere in our asset division, which aligns with Emily offering more of the house. Getting more than half seems fair, given that I contributed about 65 to 70% of the down payment and monthly mortgage payments. As I mentioned above, the family SUV was registered and only her name.

However, I covered about 40% of its cost, so it's frustrating she sold it unilaterally. As I've learned over the past several weeks, my sedan is too snug for the kids and inconvenient for my mother to duck in and out of when she runs errands. Therefore, I'll need to trade it for something larger. In return, Emily has graciously insisted I keep the furniture and appliances, least she can do, I suppose. As much as part of me would like to stay in our current home, it's probably better for us to move. Part of me hopes this will help us avoid future interference from Emily, though, in reality, she's just as likely to interfere no matter where we are. I've been looking at townhouses closer to my place of work, which would cut down my commute and place us near a well-rated school.

However, my sisters brought up that moving the kids now would mean changing schools and losing their friends, which would be yet another big change for them. An alternative option is that we move to a smaller, more manageable house close to our current one. This would reduce my workload and allow the kids to stay at the same school. Regardless of which option we choose, the idea of a new home without Emily's memory is appealing. Our current homes location is yet another example of how foolish and short-sighted I've been. Its location was much more convenient for Emily's commute compared to my own. It worked out for a time as the children's school was close to Emily's work in case they needed her during the day,

but now all of this is useless as my place of work is rather far. I've heard nothing from Emily's family, and frankly, I have no interest in reaching out. As for Emily's future with Jake, I don't wish her relationship to fail. The longer her life is stable, the less likely she'll disrupt ours. But I take solace in knowing she remains unaware of Jake's infidelity history. I don't feel any moral obligation to warn her about Jake's character, and Eleanor feels the same way. I've made a point to check in on Eleanor regularly. She doesn't have the same family support I do.

Her immediate family is charmed by Jake's ample wealth and believes that she should do whatever it takes to keep him, even though it is clear that neither he nor Eleanor wants reconciliation. Comments where Ope has replied. Commenter one, her friend was shocked and disappointed by her behavior. How? She knew that Emily was already seeing a divorce attorney, right? And also knew that things were being sent to the UK. The two friends who approached her. me found out from a third friend about my wife seeing a divorce attorney around late August

early September. This third friend only told the two ladies who came to me she knew all of this after Emily had already moved out of the house. This third friend has not spoken with me directly. Commenter too, I'm so sorry, man. Nobody deserves that pain. I've been carrying it around with me for 15 years. I hope you're luckier than I am and meet someone new. Cheaters are the lowest of the low. She's abandoning her own kids for his. Not a soul to be had. Oop, it is what it is, I suppose.

Cheating is one thing, but I'm still stunned she is walking out on our children like this. I would have never imagined she could do something like this. Oop gives some details if Emily decides to come back and want to reinstate her parental rights to her children. What the outcomes would be like for Emily? Given that Emily intends to pay child support and seeks visitation rights, should she return in a few years and request access to the children, it's likely she would be granted some access. However, as the primary caretaker, would retain full custody.

There is, of course, the possibility that she may develop a significant criminal record during her time abroad. Should that happen, it would likely bar her from any access to her. to the children. Though, I admit, I might be too optimistic in hoping for such an outcome. The opinions of the kids are also taken into consideration, so I hope if it comes down to that, they clearly state that they prefer staying with me. Of course, all of this is just a rough outline of what I think would happen. Various facts can cause different outcomes. Here's hoping, my wife stays away so we don't have to go down that road. Oops, reaction.

on Emily's decision to walk away from their own children and how Emily is willing to be involved with Jake's children. Yes, I'm still in shock at how easily she can just walk away. As one of my sisters-in-law put it, she's off on her broomstick to fulfill her dreams of being some poor children's wicked stepmother. A small consolation is that Eleanor's children, being a bit older than mine, 11 to 14, will likely do their utmost to make Emily's life difficult. I hope you enjoy this story.

I purchased a home for my partner through dedication and was prepared to propose, but she unexpectedly expressed a desire for self-discovery. Greetings, everyone. My partner has just concluded our four-year partnership. After I did some poking and prodding. We have a house, a life, I just finished saving for a ring last week. Tomorrow we have reservations for our four-year anniversary, and I'm hyperventilating a bit. The story is a little complicated.

She's had a hereditary disease her whole life. We started dating when she was in remission, of sorts, and she got sick again about a year in. It's been a mess of new drugs, sickness, health, etc. for her. We've made it through together, it made our bond very strong. I own my own business, so I was able to work and support us both when she couldn't work her full-time job. However, this business found me pretty successful at a young age I fell into a deep, deep depression. She helped me through that just by being there, but it's been rough. I gained back 90 of the 100 pounds I lost in high school, drank heavily, I became much more

withdrawn, I lost my lust for life. All for a business. She's always been the type to never speak up. She never wants to upset anyone to a fault. She was walked all over in past relationships, jobs, etc. I pushed as hard as I could to figure out simple things, like what she wants to eat for dinner. Her doctors had a note not to trust what she says because she's oftentimes more sick than she says she feels. About 18 months ago we made the decision to move after living together for a year out of the city.

The city was killing us and we picked out a house in our dream location. I purchased it knowing full well it's not smart to own a house with and so you're not married too. We made the decision she'd finally quit her job and go back to school for a career she loves it took her our whole relationship to do so. I've been supporting us 100% the whole time, without her asking, she's always felt terrible about it. This change kicked me out of my depression. We were in a place that I could thrive in, she could go to school and work and we could have a family. I hired people, started working a normal schedule, stopped drinking heavily, and most importantly

my focus was life again not business. I was living for experiences. She loved the change in me, we were more active, she dove into school, and all was good. We talked heavily about marriage, had a rough time frame, everything was going really great. Then she got sick in October. Like, really sick. Six weeks in the hospital, I hired extra people and commuted five hours a day to see her, only missing three days. She ultimately had surgery and has been recovering at home the past month, able to get out in about a bit.

I noticed a change as she was in the hospital. She wasn't excited to see me, I started having panic attacks when I got home due to the hours in schedule. I had thoughts of overwhelming dread that she was actually falling out of our relationship. We talked about it and she assured me that was not the case, and through some reading I found that these thoughts were part of the depression I thought was gone. As she's been home recovering, I've done everything I can. I noticed our sporadic conversations about the future stopped, she turned away or changed the subject when I mentioned kids. She never kissed me, I had to kiss her. No hugs, no nothing.

So finally tonight I just pushed her. I could only ask you okay. So much, as I had the past four months. She broke. She said she had a lot of time to think in the hospital. She said she wasn't living for herself, and she needs to find herself, and she feels horrible because for four years I've pushed her daily to find her passions and follow them, not to think of others first in such an extreme.

I did this because that's what I do. I work my dream job, and I want that for her. She says she feels like she's holding me back. She loves me, and I think I believe that because she's refusing to let me settle. But damn, do I still love her? Most upsetting, she said that she's never felt at home in our house. She's felt like it was always mine and she was a girlfriend staying over. I pressed this issue before we moved, asking her where she'd like to live, anywhere in the world, I can work from anywhere.

She said this was a great idea. Please know that I've also got no design since I'm just the muscle. So it's not a matter of my stuff being all over the place, she's decorated very nicely. So here I sit. Sober, crying, fat, with no one to call. No close family or friends in 120-mile radius. I can't bring myself to open the door to the office I just built out for her new career, and the paint is literally drying from earlier tonight.

We move to a family area, no more college scene. I read advice to throw yourself into work and I have a job that almost killed me once. And I will be alone in this house that was, in two to three years, meant for our family. Money is not an issue. I love the area, I love our home, and I do not wish to leave. It truly is my dream to live here, but it was my dream to live. here with our family that we had planned. Life lesson, nothing is set in stone.

So how do I even start to cope? We still love each other, we're best friends. I'm going up to sleep in our bed because I can't bring myself to sleep in the guest room and she doesn't want me to. She's going to stay while we untangle our life, and she, along with my family and hers, are afraid of what I'll do to myself. I'm not going anywhere I've never been suicidal. But I sure as hell can't drink this one away, because the drinking won't stop.

But she's going to leave, like, soon. I know it's not fair to hold on to the idea that she might just need to do some soul searching and come back. And I know that, being so sick for so long, she really didn't have a chance to figure out what she wanted. But I just can't help but feel absolutely gutted that it took this long for it to come out, because I can't see my life without us. It's the most life-shattering thing I've ever felt. Update 1, the past 24 hours have been a beautiful and sad journey. After the initial shock wore off, we've done a lot of talking

and for the first time we've been completely honest with each other at the same time. We've been waiting and waiting for our relationship to fit into the life we've built around it. We've had a hard go at it with the sicknesses, depression, and ultimately the transitional time in our lives. It was a hard time for everyone around us, getting out of college and finding ourselves. We both care so much for each other that we tried to force it to work, ultimately denying our own desires in the process. Personally, I admitted to myself that I am more afraid to be alone in this house and area than I am upset our time living together is ending. I have struggled with this since we moved here 18 months ago, because this is my dream. However,

I've had serious doubts about our relationship, and the thing that kept me from saying anything was a fear of the unknown of living alone, as an adult, for the first time in my life. XGF was very clear that it's not fair for me to feel guilty about the life I've built, and this is very true. Likewise, it is not fair to blame her for not wanting the same life. I do wish she had spoke up sooner, but ultimately I love her for trying to make it work because she wanted me to be happy. XGF simply does not know what she wants.

She thought she wanted a house, kids, and a family, and when they started coming, she realized that she didn't know what she wanted. She only knows that she doesn't know what she wants. We are both adamant that life is too short to settle. This is important. We've been living as best friends for a long time now, years maybe. Saying this out loud was a relief, because it does no mean either of us want our realchanship to end it just needs to evolve into its proper state.

We decided to take the week to pack our stuff up and while it is sad, it's amazing to be with each other now that this is in the open. Sure, there is the initial feeling of hatred at everything that reminds us of the relationship because it's a hard thing to close an overall happy time in your life when you know it's for the best. But this is not an angry breakup, and it's been important to realize that the memories of these objects are all good memories. When the sweeping feelings of fear and sadness go away, happiness will remain. I've come to realize that it's not healthy to fill a void in one's self with a relationship. My biggest fear is being alone, because I don't yet know how to do that. This

relationship became a way for me to fill that void and avoid the fear. I know the process is just starting, and I know there will be some hard days ahead, but I have a feeling that I've felt much more alone in our relationship the past year than I will outside of it. XGF and I aren't denying that we are very good friends, so this isn't goodbye. It's a change in living situation and a new personal journey for the both of us. And so life goes on. I've started the hunt for the right therapist, and my short-term plan is to get through moving her out.

I will admit that the thought of taking her key is terrifying, and I'll miss the small things like the tampon box in the closet and the shoes all over the entry. But as time passes I think this sadness will reside, and only happy memories will remain as we reminisce and catch up over lunch some day soon. Update 2, I didn't know what to expect from this event, because I had been dreading it for over a year. It's fair to say that the anxiety, worry, and pain it caused in that time ran my life. I didn't take inventory of this worry, though, until we separated. Today I find myself with the familiar pit in my stomach, the one that's become a companion of sorts since we bought the house, and then remember that there is nothing to worry about,

it's done. And I truly feel much better. I have a lot of anxiety about the future. I have to come to terms with the fact that I've been preparing for marriage and a child in serious ways, and that plan is on hold. XGF and I have been living together since we decided to part ways a couple of people. days ago. We didn't know what else to do, it just felt wrong and inappropriate to rip the band-aid after such an amicable decision. But I think we were both skeptical that it wasn't a good

idea. It turns out it was the best thing we could have done, because it took some time for us to open up and ultimately resolve this entire thing. Last night I came home after being out most of the day letting her pack. She hadn't got much done, just kind of started a few chores and was visibly shaken. She saw me and started crying, because, I would find out later, she really thought I was making up the whole we've been living as best friend's thing to get her through the move out. She sees how much I do love and a care for her, and it upset her because she thought she would be breaking my heart. It's important to note that this illustrates her issues. Putting others ahead of yourself is mostly a good thing, but when you value the simple happiness of those around you over your

long-term emotional well-being to the extent it affects your quality of life, it's unhealthy. I recognized this and was hell-bent on making sure she wasn't staying the rest of the week just for me. This was the catalyst for probably the most honest and healing talk we've ever had. We sat on the couch for hours, talking about us and what happened. Ultimately, she saw that I was completely honest with her, and that changed everything we had both felt the same way for so long. Once that thin veil of a romantic relationship was lifted and the expectation was gone, we instantly opened up and have actually been closer than we've ever been. It's strange and unexpected, but I think it's very welcomed from both sides.

We have a very special relationship, it just isn't romantic. I think the most complicated thing about this situation is how simple it is. We are two people that fell in love, and that love transformed into the love of two close, friends over time. We saw it all the way to the end, as far as we could go before a refused proposal ruined our relationship. We tried, it just didn't work in that way. She told me that she had waited for months because she had no idea her feelings were mutual. Years of business have taught me not to wear my heart on my sleeve, and while I lived with these thoughts I was very careful not to show my hand. Why? It's complicated. Our relationship,

was an ebb and flow of emotion. She was extremely sick at times, and extremely healthy at other times. I was the same with my depression. I have always been her main caregiver during this, and those doubts became hard to justify as true or circumstantial for both of us. Our relationship was very much that of a parent and child at times. It became a waiting game. It's not easy to think straight when you're spending 40 hours in the car six,

weeks in a row with your life on hold, or working a job you hate because you don't want to upset your co-workers by leaving. As we always experienced periods of health after the sickness, there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. We both care for each other so much and understood sickness that we didn't want that to be a determining factor in our future healthy lives. So we both waited. In the spurts of good health we continued to build the life we thought we wanted, never stopping to assess the one determining factor together, our relationship. We simply thought we needed to see the big picture, and in a way I think we did. Now that the life is set up, there are no doubts in either of our minds. We talked a lot about the timing, because

she felt terrible it came up when she was in the hospital and around the holiday. Keep in mind she had thought this was one-sided, so she had wanted to say something but didn't want to ruin this time of year. I think this was the first time she really knew I was being truthful when I said I felt the same way, and there has never been a good time to do this. She said she felt guilty because she wanted us to see each other's families one last time. This was a green light for my ultimate conclusion that we weren't crazy, this had simply turned into a great friendship.

I asked her, if we were old friends from college, what would have been different about our holiday? She and I both spend days with other friends' families this time of year, and besides maybe sharing a bed instead of taking the floor there was no difference. We are very close friends with each other's family members, and none of those relationships have to change. I think in the end, we are going to go on to stay good friends with very little break, because that's what we've been for two years. We both think our friendship will grow now that the awkward expectation of romance no longer exists,

and we're mutually happy about it. I am very scared to be alone, and that is my next big adventure. It's going to be one day at a time, and I am not looking for a big break until I venture on to start the family hunt from zero. But I know that I have to be okay here by myself to have any sort of chance at a healthy relationship in the future, so that's what I'll do first. Update 3. Today she moved out of our home. We always called it a home, but I don't think we ever got there. I think it was still just a house to both of us. Her whole family decided to come.

We are very close and I've always felt closer to them than almost my entire real family. A lot of my pain did not come from our separation because there truly is no heartbreak there. We love each other deeply, but it is a familial love. It has not been romantic love for a long time. My pain came from the thought I was losing part of my family. Their friendship, their intelligence, and their love are all three. things I've come to feel are my own. And so they came to help her, sure, but they also came to support me. They came to hug me and cry with me, and to let both of us know that this is not

crazy but the most mature and perfect thing to do. They came to make sure I knew we'd be sailing and laughing around the dinner table very soon. Mostly they came to move her things into the truck and then to move my extra stuff from the basement to the empty spaces. They did this out of love, I felt that deeply all day to day. This whole experience sounds like bullshit to most, and if I were reading this I would agree. What happens when one of us moves on and starts seeing someone else? We don't know. But we do know that we both want to see the other happy, and we've both lived in this relationship

with so much guilt watching the other compromise to try and make it fit. In the days that followed our decision to separate we felt a lot of things. It took a lot of time for us to sort through years of buried thoughts and emotion. We did that, lifting the pressure of romance and embracing the warmth of close friendship, and I'm glad we had our week because I don't think our relationship has ever been better. Ultimately we are doing this for the right reasons, and we are doing it for very similar reasons. I have a lot of unresolved issues and my alone time in the past has led to drinking issues and depression because I just didn't have the skills to conquer it.

I am afraid to be alone I can't build a healthy relationship until I learn how to do this. I have been debating our relationship for years against being alone and while it wasn't the correct decision it was always the easy one. I spent years taking care of her and it was out of love, but it was also because taking care of myself was harder. This is wrong and not fair to myself or her. She has never been alone and has seeked the happiness and validation of others to bring her self-happiness. She has stayed in situations not for herself but for others involved

because of this. She went to the college her parents wanted and stayed because her roommate wanted her too. She was destroyed in previous relationships because she put her need second and was walked all over. She stayed in horrible jobs for years because she didn't want to inconvenience her superiors by having to hire a new person. She moved up here for me because she did not know what she truly wanted. She will not be successful in a relationship until she can put herself first and know that she is not compromising herself for the other person, and she was able to finally recognize that because of our relationship. There is no denying that our time together has been the best of both our lives, and there is absolutely a great

sadness that it is over. This is not jargon to avoid that. As we separated and untangled our stuff, we were regaining our own individuality and independence. This week there was a lot of crying but the tears were happy, and we've had so many good experiences that we've both grown into better people because of the other. Re-living the past four years was therapeutic and beautiful. It brought us closer together as friends, and we celebrated that this experience will only get better from here. We have a long road ahead, and our first lesson is that we are not we anymore. I am me, and she is herself. We have both spent a long time living one life, and we both agree that while it probably isn't what two perfect emotional people would do it was an amazing experience that we wouldn't change. We both became better people because of each other, and that's a successful relationship in my book. But it is no longer our house, our bedroom, or our fridge. It is mine, because I live alone now. It is important for me not to cry every time I'm.

slip and say we, because I do not yet have any eye memories. That will come next and as scary as it might be I am excited. I will make my house a home, I will not drink to bury the fear and I will begin therapy and move past my demons. I look forward to learning the fine art form of me. I thank you all for the support this week. You have been very kind and I think this will be my last update for the time being as I take on the next chapter of an already incredible life.

I hope you enjoy this story. Guardians declined to visit me at the medical center after I was involved in a vehicular collision while attempting to reach my sibling who was in the process of giving birth, and held me accountable for being struck by a drunk driver and lied to family. Couple of years ago, when I was in college, I was in a horrible car accident where a drunk truck driver plowed into my car and I ended up in the hospital for several weeks. I fractured an arm and it took me a really long time to learn how to walk again. Even more time for all the scars to fade away and in spite of the fact that it has been

almost three years since the accident, I'm still extra careful while driving. Even though the accident wasn't even my fault. The one thing that I do remember from that time was that my family had refused to show up to be there for me because my sister had gone into labor. Fun fact, I was actually about to surprise my sister by driving to the hospital where she was going to be giving birth when I ended up in that car accident. I was a couple of weeks away from graduation at the time and my college campus was just a few hours away from my hometown, so it was quite convenient for me to travel back and forth.

When I got the phone call from my parents that my sister had gone into labor and they were rushing her to the hospital, I decided to surprise her and borrowed a friend's car so I could travel there. However, on the way, I had an accident and had to be rushed to the nearest hospital. It was mostly my friends who were there for me around that time, since my parents were too busy with my sister and I totally understood. What I did not like was the fact that even a couple of days after my sister had given birth, my parents did not bother to show up to check on me. I called them several times after my accident, even though it was quite painful for me to slipping in and out of consciousness quite frequently. But the only thing that I kept asking was if my parents had

called or if they had shown up and I was disappointed every time. Finally, about a week after my accident, my parents called me up. Even then, it was not to ask me if I was fine, it was just to ask why I had been calling so frequently because they had been ignoring one of my calls since they had been with my sister and her baby. I was shocked by how cold they were being with me, especially given the circumstances, but I still decided to ask them how my sister was and how the baby was doing, and they told me that my sister was fine and so was my niece. They did not ask me how I was, even though I was pretty sure that they had found out that I had been in an accident by then since my friends had told me that they had texted my parents on every possible platform.

When they did not ask me, I decided to offer them that information myself and I told them that I had been in an accident and I had been trying to reach out to them for the past couple of days to tell them about it. At that point at least, I had hoped for a reaction, but they just told me that they knew that I had been in an accident and my friends had reached out to them and told them about it. And that was it, they did not bother to say anything about it. I got really upset and ended up asking them if they couldn't even be bothered to pretend to care for me. That was when they told me that they had not answered my phone calls and texts on purpose because they didn't want to speak to me since they believed that it was more of a priority for them to be there for my

sister while she was giving birth, then to be there for me, because of an accident that I had caused. I couldn't understand what they were talking about because as far as I knew, I was not not the one who had been drunk and it had been the truck driver's fault. But they told me that that's not what they were talking about. They said that I had caused the accident myself by deciding to drive all by myself and that it was really irresponsible of me, since it had been quite late at night, and I had no reason to go out on a drive. When I told them that I was actually going to drive to the hospital so I could be there for my sister, they told me that it was still quite unnecessary of me to do something like that and I had nobody to blame for the accident but myself. It was

really horrible and insensitive of them to say something like that to me and I got really upset, so I ended up hanging up on them without another word. Later on, I found out that when the people who had discovered me on the site of the accident had called 911, my parents had been contacted first, but they had refused to show up and had even requested not to be called about this again. And then the college authorities had been called because I had my ID on me at that point and that's how my friends found out. So it was even more disappointing for me, because even though my parents had been called by emergency services and told that their daughter had been in an accident, they hadn't bothered to show up and their only response to the whole situation had been to blame

me for what happened. Even though I was only trying to be there for my sister and the family. After that incident, I realized that, even though I had wanted to be there for my family, my family had absolutely no interest in being there for me because even my sister had not bothered to reach out to me after that. For the past three years, I have had no contact with my family because after that incident, I really gave up on them. Mean, even before that, we had had had a normal relationship, but I had always felt like I would always get sidelined by my sister and her priorities. And when I had my accident, it was proven to me by my family.

Just to be clear, I was not upset that they had not abandoned my sister while she had gone into labor and not come to see me, but I was just upset that even after my sister had given birth, they did not think that it was important to come see me. I didn't even expect my sister to visit me in the hospital because obviously at the time, it was impossible for her, but it was not impossible for my parents. When my sister had her fiancé and her in-laws to take care of her, I only had my friends. But I was lucky that I had friends who were good enough to be there for me all along,

and they helped me through my recovery. Even the funds for my recovery process and other expenses were all taken care of by them and their parents and I'm still paying them back. But I'm really grateful with them for everything that they did for me and I don't think I'll ever be able to pay them back truly. Anyway, even though it has been three years since the incident, they have not bothered to ever reach out to me and many people and the family have questioned why we don't have a relationship anymore. But I have had the courtesy to keep it all to myself so far. I guess we had an unspoken agreement that we could not discuss this with anybody else from the family and I had stuck to it so far.

But they decided to talk about it recently and one of my aunts reached out to me afterwards because they had been talking about the incident in a way that painted me to be the bad guy. This happened a couple of weeks ago, when my parents were hosting a family dinner at their house for a couple of people to celebrate my sister's promotion at work. While they were all together, the topic of my estrangement from them came up and after a lot of back and forth, my parents finally decided to talk about it after three years because they did not think they needed to keep this a secret from the family anymore. But while narrating the story, they changed what happened in the aftermath of my accident.

A few facts were true, like I had intended to surprise my sister by driving to the hospital and on the way, I had gotten into a car accident. However, after that, they claimed that they had not been contacted and they found out about the accident a couple of days after it took place, so a lot of time had already passed by then. And they were too preoccupied with my sister and the baby, so they did not really think about why I hadn't contacted them yet. They also said that when they had finally found out about the accident, the first thing that they'd done was call me up, but I had been really upset with them so I had refused to speak to them, and that was simply not true. And after that, they had said that

they had tried to contact me on several occasions, but I had always rejected their attempts because of that one incident, and eventually, even they had given up trying to get in touch with me. Basically, they painted that whole situation to be a misunderstanding, and made me look like the villain had been completely unforgiving towards them for not caring. My aunt, being the good Samaritan that she is, decided to contact me, even though she had been specifically instructed by my parents not to speak to me about this because they did not want to make a big deal out of this. Even though I knew that the real reason they did not want anybody speaking to me about what they

had told them was because they did not want me to find out that they had been lying about what really happened back then. Anyway, my aunt contacted me and told me that three years had passed since I had spoken to my parents and they really missed me and I was missing out on the opportunity of being an aunt to my niece, and she knew that she wouldn't miss out on an opportunity like that so she would encourage me to reach back out to my parents now. I was very confused so I called her up and she told me that she knew the real reason why I had not been in touch with my family for so many years and she told me what my parents had told them and I was so shocked because they had painted me as the self-centered

bad guy and made themselves the victim in the situation. Even though it had been the other way around. I was furious when I heard what they had told everybody in the family about what had happened all those years ago, and I decided to speak to my aunt and tell her the truth. I also told her that I was willing to put her in touch with my friends who had covered all my expenses, in case she didn't want to believe me, but what I was telling her was the real version of what happened and it was actually my parents who couldn't care less about me or my accident. They had been contacted, they just did not want to be bothered at the time, and I wasn't even mad at them because they had decided to be there for my sister because she was giving birth

and that was also quite significant. But even after that, when they did not bother to show up for me, that was when I got upset. After I had clarified this to my aunt, even she seemed pretty shocked and apologized to me for doubting me. But I was really thankful that she had decided to speak to me because otherwise, I probably never would have found out what my parents were saying behind my back now. After my conversation with my aunt, I guess the news of what really happened all those years ago started to spread because lots of people started reaching out to me, telling me that what I did by telling my aunt the truth was necessary because otherwise. My parents might have gotten away with lying about what had happened and making me the bad guy in the situation. A lot of people

in the family even started to sympathize with me, telling me that what had happened to me was really horrible and that my parents should never have treated me like that, it was unfair and undeserved. In a way, I'm really thankful to my aunt because she got people to hear her out and believe my side of the story, otherwise my parents would have gotten away with it. But it has become a bit troublesome for me right now because after my parents found out that I had spoken to my aunt about my side and she had spoken to other people about it, the rest of the family started to distance themselves from them. And I really don't understand how any of this is my fault because all I did was tell people

the truth, that's it. In fact, it would be incorrect to even say that I told people. people the truth, I only told my aunt the truth and she decided that she was going to tell everybody else. Anyway, they are blaming me for how the situation is turning out to be because right now, nobody from the family wants to speak to them, and everyone has pretty much been ghosting them. Which is not a good thing because in a couple of weeks, she is going to celebrate her daughter's third birthday and that's going to be the third anniversary of my accident as well. But what they are concerned about right now is that since the family has found out the truth, they think that they are

to be attending their birthday and that's going to be pretty disappointing because my niece is excited about her birthday party and the entire family had been invited, but nobody has responded to the invitations yet. Some people have already declined it and haven't even bothered to offer an explanation, so that's what's going on right now. And even though my family has not spoken to me in three years, this has made them reach out to me and they have been continuously trying to text and call me. I haven't responded to any of their phone calls because I don't think it's important, of their messages are along the lines of accusing me of creating the situation on purpose to steal my sister's spotlight. Apparently, my parents, and even my sister believe that I'm doing this

on purpose because I can't stand the fact that they chose to be with my sister while she was giving birth instead of being with me and this is my way of getting revenge. They even went to the extent of saying that they were sure that I had gotten into the car late that night on purpose because I wanted to make myself the center of attention, especially because I was jealous of my sister since she was giving birth and getting most of attention from everybody in the family, which I wanted for myself. It's such a horrible nasty thing to say, I can't even imagine thinking that way about somebody else, no matter how much I hate them. The implication that I had caused that accident on purpose because I wanted attention and sympathy from my family, it was just disgusting. On top of that, they were

accusing me of seeking attention even right now, because they knew that I had found out that my sister had received a promotion at work and was doing well in her life, I couldn't stand it. So I had decided to go out of my way to bring up things from the past and paint them in a bad light. I don't even understand why they would say something like that when they know exactly what they had been trying to do. They were doing exactly what they were accusing me of and the hypocrisy of it just made me so angry. I had still managed to ignore all of their messages and kept blocking their numbers ever since they started trying to contact me, but a couple of days back. My parents decided to actually show up at my door and told me that I needed to fix the situation

that I had created because my niece was going to be celebrating her birthday in a couple of days and they could not let that be a disappointment to her. So I had to speak to my aunt and the rest of the family and tell them that whatever I had said was just lies to make my parents look bad. And when they showed up, demanding that I do this for them like they were entitled to my help after everything that they had done, that's when I really lost my temper and probably where I might have been the awe. When they showed up and started yelling outside my house, I obviously refused to let them when

I had told them that if they did not leave, I was going to call the cops. I told them that I had no interest in entertaining any of their BS requests, that whatever they were asking of me, it was way too much given what they had done for me, which was absolutely nothing. When the threat of cops did not scare them, I decided to open the door and I told them that they needed to clear out, and I even had my phone in my hand and had the number dialed. But my dad told me that he was not scared. He knew that I was just an attention seeker and that's why I'd gone out of my way to ruin their reputation.

And now, I was trying to get on my sister and her daughter in this petty way and he was not going to let this happen. So I had better use that phone to call my relatives up and tell them the truth about what happened, even though I really was telling them the truth. But they wanted me to tell them their version of the truth, where they were the saints and I was the villain. They wanted me to tell people that I had been lying and they just wouldn't stop yelling at me, so I went a little crazy and I just snapped and started shoving them off my property. At first, they were just shocked that I had decided to get physical, but then they started to retaliate.

But by then, I was so angry that I was out of control and I just kept shoving them until they ended up on the street outside. And while they were on the streets, I still kept shoving them and I screamed at them and said that I hoped that some vehicle would come along and run over them and no one. nobody with them in the hospital and maybe then, they would finally be able to feel what I had felt although years ago when they had abandoned me after my accident. They seemed really shocked by my outburst, and once I was done, screaming at them, I decided to go back in and ignore them.

Thankfully, they did not bother me after that, but my sister decided to call me later on and told me that what I had done was excessive and that I shouldn't even have opened the door and just called the cops if I was so upset with them showing up. So what I had done had apparently really traumatized my parents, and she thinks that I owe them an apology and even I feel really bad for the way I had dealt with the situation so violently because that's really not me. So Ida for shoving my parents when they showed up at my house after three years of no contact? Edit.

So here's the thing, I will tell you guys why it is a big deal for me to be shoving my parents. It's not just the fact that it was a violent and physical outburst, it's also the fact that I am a trained M.MA fighter. I'm not professional by any means, but I'm still significantly stronger than both my parents, and for me to be getting physical with them, of course, it was traumatizing for them because it couldn't have been easy to handle it for them. Apparently, according to my sister, I even ended up bruising them, but that might have been a bit of an exaggeration on her part just to get me to feel sorry for them. Anyway, that's why it's a big deal and I'm not really sure if I owe them an apology right now or not. My sister's a bit of

is pretty convinced that I do and has told me that she's going to press charges if I don't publicly acknowledge what I had done and tell everyone in the family that I had been lying about what I had said. It feels wrong for her to be threatening me like that, especially when she knows for a fact that what I said was all true. But I have also been standing my ground and I have told her that if I do end up apologizing, it's going to be because I actually feel sorry and not because I'm scared of what she thinks is going to happen to me after she presses charges. Update 1, so it has been two days since I posted here and after going through the comments and stuff, I have decided not to apologize to my parents. And I have also decided not to interact

with my sister she tries to get in touch with me again because clearly she's just as bad as them. The only reason I had not been against her so far was because she had been nice to me when we were kids, but now, I'm pretty sure that she has changed. Thank you so, so much to everybody who commented on my post and let me know what they feel about the situation. It really means a lot to me. But at this point, I'm afraid that I don't think apologizing to my parents will set the right example. They are going to think that they can intimidate me into shutting up, but that's not going to happen anymore. They cannot just get away with everything and expect me to tolerate their behavior. They were the ones who showed up at my door and started

to threaten me and refuse to go away even when I told them that I was not interested in interacting with them. If my sister decides to press charges, I'm just going to say that I was provoked and I'm pretty sure that even the punishment for shoving my parents is not going to be very extreme because it's not like they sustained severe injuries. And I was just trying to get them off my property, so I'm mentally prepared for everything. But the one thing that I'm not going to be doing at any cost is apologizing to anybody because I'm absolutely not sorry and that's it. too so apparently, today was supposed to be the day that my sister had that huge birthday bash for her daughter, but unfortunately, nobody turned up.

I know that for a fact because I spoke to my aunt and she told me that literally everybody and the family decided to skip the party after hearing what had happened to me all those years ago. It was not even the fact that they had refused to show up and be there for me three years back when I had my accident. But it was because even after three years had passed, they had decided to lie about what had really happened to make themselves look good and make me the bad guy. That was just not okay with anybody in the family, and I'm really glad that people decided to do the right thing. I got really emotional while speaking to my aunt because she told me that had anybody else known about my accident, they would have shown up to be there for me, but I had

decided to keep everything private. In fact, I deactivated all my social media back, and even when anybody would try to reach to me, I would tell them that I was fine, but I never mentioned anything about the accident. So recently, a lot of people didn't even know that I had been in such a terrible accident three years ago. It was a very dark chapter of my life, not just physically, but because of what I've gone through emotionally, and I don't really want to relive it, but I can't ignore the past either. So while speaking to my aunt about what had happened all those years back, I ended up crying, and I finally got all the emotions off my chest because I had been suppressing it for almost three years now. She was very supportive of me and told her. She was very

supportive of me and told me that the entire family thinks that I'm really strong for having gone through that all by myself and told me that now, in the future, if anything ever happens, I know who to call. And I'm really grateful for the talk that I had with her, and also that she bothered to stand by me in the past couple of weeks. Anyway, now that nobody attended the party, I know that my sister and our parents are going to be majorly upset, so I'm just bracing myself for the reaction. To be honest, the only person that I feel bad for and this situation is my niece. I've never met her or had any interaction with her, but I know that having nobody show up on the day of your birthday cannot be easy. I'm sure that her parents will

do something to make it up to her, and she's just three years old. It's not like she's going to remember this in a couple of years. Update 3, hey, so it has been one week since I last posted an update and a couple of things have happened since then. The first and most significant one being that my parents have reached out to me. I had blocked them everywhere so, once again, they decided to create another email account just so they would be able to talk to me. They sent me an email saying that they do regret how they treated me three years back, but honestly, at the time, they were all just really stressed out because of my sister and her delivery, and they were too caught up with that to pay attention to what I was going through,

but now, in hand side. They do agree that they should have at least bothered to come, visit me, It was talking that they were finally agreeing that they had made a mistake, but honestly, at this point, it doesn't make a difference anymore. What has been done has already happened. The damage is done and they cannot really say these things and take it back. It might have been easier for me to deal with this had they sent this email to me a couple of months after the accident, but they waited for three whole years and a whole lot of confrontation to acknowledge the fact that they had been wrong and careless.

By now, I have obviously figured out that their priority. is my sister and not me, and I'm fine with it. I've made my peace with everything so their apology means nothing to me. The second thing that they mentioned in that email was that they had spoken to my sister, and they had collectively decided not to press charges against me for the other day. Good for them, I guess, it wouldn't have made a difference to me, even if they had chosen to do so. Anyway, after we sorted things out in that email, because I responded to them, saying that it was fine and that I did not want them to contact me anymore, they put out a statement on social media, saying that we had cleared the air and they would appreciate it if the

rest of the family stayed out of this feud or whatever now because it was over. I guess they just really wanted people to stop judging them over the past, and that's why they put out that statement, or else they wouldn't even have acknowledged it. The rest of the family showed them that they were serious about not being on the same page with them and being okay with whatever they had done so far by skipping the birthday party, so they had decided to take it seriously as well. But they still had to be the victim, which is why they put up a statement in that tone. Anyway, I'm just really glad that this is over and I can go back to my normal life now. I hope you enjoy this story. Following three decades of being known simply as Steve,

my stepchild expressed regret during the holiday season for never fully embracing me as their father figure and referred to me as dad for the very first instance. As a 63-year-year-old, old man lost my wife, Beth, 60F at the time, three years ago. We had been together for 30 years. When I met my wife, she was already a widow. Her first husband had died in a car accident. She had a daughter, Jane 43F, who was six at the time her father passed. We married when Jane was about 10 years old. When I came into Jane's life, I had no idea how to be a parent to her. I expressed my fears to Beth, and she told me to let her take the lead. I talked with Jane and told her that I knew I could never replace her dad and was not trying to.

However, I would be willing to do all the dad stuff that her dad wasn't around to do if she wanted. I drove her to practices, attended every performance, stayed up late to help her study for math tests, and taught her to drive and shoot. I shared my love of fantasy literature and Star Trek. Our relationship was always hot and cold, though. While she seemed happy, I was never dad, stepdad, or even Uncle Sam. I was always just Sam. Beth and I had a son, Tom, 32M, and a daughter, Christy, 29 F. Jane has a reasonable relationship with her half-siblings, considering their age difference.

A year or so after Christy was born, Jane became sullen and despondent. After talking with Beth, I offered to adopt Jane. Jane did not take this well, and I never brought it up again. I was the main disciplinarian parent in our household and while none of the kids were troublemakers, they all did things that got them grounded or their privileges with our cars taken away. I think Jane resented this as well. When Jane graduated high school, each student was able to purchase two tickets to the ceremony. Jane purchased two tickets and I thought I would be attending, but the week of the ceremony,

Beth told me that Jane wanted to use her second seat to memorialize her father. I was hurt, but I understood. She put a picture of him on the empty chair next to her mom. I think it also hurt Beth as well. Jane was an excellent student, and she got some good scholarships. I paid the remainder of her costs to go to college, I did get to see that graduation. When Jane got married, Beth and I were not able to pay for the entirety of her wedding, we paid about half. She had her father's younger brother walk her down the aisle, she would spend a week or two during the summer with her father's family.

At the reception, my wife was again seated next to an empty chair to memorialize Jane's father. I was not given a seat with Beth at the family table, and honestly, I don't remember where I was supposed to be because I spent my time at the bar or standing behind Beth, was having a very hard time. However, it was a lovely wedding, and once the dancing started and everybody was out of their seats, I stopped worrying about where I was supposed to be. When Jane had her first kid, Beth and I were overjoyed. However, I soon learned that while my wife was going to be Graham, Graham, I was not going to be Grandpa but still just Sam. I am Sam to both of her children. This was again something that hurt, and when Tom had his first child, he asked if I wanted to be granddad or Sam to his kids, and I jumped at getting to be

grandpa. Jane ended up getting divorced about four years ago, shortly before Beth was diagnosed with cancer. She and her kids moved in with us, and we helped her with her lawyer until everything was finalized. During my wife's last year, Jane was with us all the time. It was a huge help to both Beth and me. After Beth passed, I was a wreck and mostly useless. It wasn't right, but Jane ended up doing most of the funeral preparation. I am very grateful for the help she provided. When Jane's father died, his mother helped with the funeral expenses and purchased a double plot. When Jane prepared the funeral, she organized everything so that Beth would be buried next to Jane's father, her first husband. I was shocked and felt that this was done somewhat behind my back.

My wife had never told me of this, but Jane assured me that this was what Beth would have wanted. I talked with Tom and Christy, and they know I intend to be cremated. Because of that, they thought that this was reasonable, and the plot was already paid for. At the memorial service, Jane was rightfully upset. She told many of the other mourners that she was now orphaned, and that she and her two kids had no close family left. This upset Tom and Christy a lot, but I tried to explain that it was different for Jane. I talked with Jane during the memorial and told her that she does have a family that will welcome her if she wants it. She thanked me and was polite.

I have not really talked with Jane since the memorial. The first year, I invited Jane to all the family get-togethers just like before, even though Tom and Christy were angry with her. I left her voicemails asking how she was doing and how her kids were. However, in the last couple of years, I have stopped because I never get any response. I still send her and her kids gifts for their birthdays and Christmas. I just don't actively reach out. In one of the last voicemails I left, I told her that all she needed to do was call, and I would help her. With all that information, here is where I might be the awe. My daughter Christy is getting married next year.

She reached out to Jane in the past few months and has been working on reconciling with her. Additionally, Jane's ex lives in a different state, and her kids will be gone for most of the holidays. Jane has told Christy about how alone she is feeling. Christy called me and asked me to invite Jane to my house for Christmas. Christy and her fiancé will be there along with Tom and his family. I told Christy that Jane knows she is always invited. Christy says that Jane won't come if I don't call and ask her to come. I told Christy that she could invite Jane, or she could tell Jane to call me.

Christy says I'm being an awe for not calling Jane. I talked with my son Tom, and he says he is tired of the rest of us having to beg Jane to be part of our family. I love Jane, she is my daughter, but after so much, I just feel like the only way this will work is if she takes the first steps. So, am I the awe for not calling my wife's daughter to invite her to Christmas? Jane, if you see this, just call. Edit, I am really astounded by all the comments. I thought I would just get a few, but there are too many to answer them all. I do feel the need to clear some things up, though, I tried to be the best.

best parent I could be to Jane, with Beth's help. I never wanted her to feel like our family was not also her family or that her family had been replaced. I never felt like an ATM machine. I paid less than half of Jane's schooling because of her scholarships. I did what I could for her wedding, and yes, I was pissed about the seating and who got to walk her down the aisle, but Beth reminded me it was her day, not mine. I will be paying for a larger share of Christie's wedding than I did Jane's because my financial situation is different now, but Christy has asked for something I think her mom would have fought with her over already, but that is a story for another post. I don't think I did anything that would make Jane resent me, besides marrying her mom.

However, Jane has, except for a few occasions, always been polite and friendly to me. Maybe I shouldn't have put the wedding stuff in the post at all, but she did have a not-father daughter dance with me at her wedding. When Beth passed, Jane told me that her mother was amazingly lucky to have found true love twice in one lifetime. When I offered to adopt Jane, it went very badly. Beth and I had sat her down and made the offer. We thought that after the birth of Christy, she was feeling left out. It backfired horribly.

Jane said she didn't want my stupid fucking name. I tried to explain that she wouldn't need to change her name, but she started screaming. screaming at me that she didn't want my stupid fucking name, family, or anything else. Both Beth and I told her that this response was completely unacceptable, but she kept saying nasty things that teenagers say to me and Beth. I told her that her behavior was totally unacceptable and since her mom had lots of class and manners, this behavior must come from her stupid fucking father's family. Beth told me that I wasn't helping, and I left while she talked with Jane.

A couple of days later, Jane asked to talk with Beth and me privately. She said she wanted to move in with her uncle. I figured this was a hallow threat from a teenager since that uncle lived two states over, and her life and friends were all where we lived. I said something like, well, if that's how you feel, you and your mom work it out, I will make it happen. I then left. Jane didn't move out, I did tell her that I was glad she chose to stay with us.

Our relationship did get better but never substantially improved after that point. So, I am not a saint, I am human, and I did my best. Am I mad she doesn't consider Tom, Christy, and me as her family? Yes. However, I have known her since she was eight years old. I, at least, don't know how not to love a child I have helped raise since they played with dolls. I see her as family. update, so, Christmas has come and gone, for those interested, here is an update.

Most people said it was time for Jane to face the consequences of her actions. Did Jane deserve to spend Christmas alone? Perhaps, but I didn't want my girl to be alone or sad when I could do something about it. So, I called and once again got sent to voicemail. I left a message saying that I didn't know what her plans were but that she should know that she is always welcome at our house. I figured that would be it, and I could tell Christy that I tried. On Saturday, I got a call from Jane. She seemed very down. She told me the same things I had heard from Christy. Her kids would be out of state with her ex for Christmas and New Year. She was

feeling very alone. I told her that she is always welcome to celebrate with her brother and sister and myself. She said that sounded really good and she would like that. So, Jane, Christy, and her fiancé, John, spent Christmas Eve with me. It was really nice. Jane was very sweet to everyone. My first post may not have been fair to her, but Jane can be an incredibly caring person. She seemed a little on edge at first, but as the evening went on, she became more at ease. We watched them up at Christmas Charle just like when my kids were younger. After my phone call with Jane, I found Tom, Christy, and Jane's old stockings. There was not a lot of time, but I got some candy, a book and a couple of gift cards for Jane, Christy, and John. On Christmas morning, all three

were a bit surprised to find that they had stockings filled with goodies and called me a jerk for not telling them beforehand so that they could make sure I had one, two. I said I was not involved and you can't call Santa a jerk or you get nothing just like me. Tom and his family came over on Christmas Day. Jane practically knows more about what is going on with Tom's kids than I do because she is very active on Facebook. Jane's gifts to everyone, well, everyone save John, were very thoughtful. Jane is great with kids, she is a teacher, and Tom's kids really enjoy their aunt.

Jane and Christy made our Christmas dinner, and seeing giggling like schoolgirls. in the kitchen together reminded me of Christmas long ago when Christy was seven or eight. Jane was home from college, and Jane, Beth and Christy were all working in the kitchen. Christy was standing on a chair, and Jane was teaching her all our secret family recipes. Christy adored Jane in the way that little kids adore adults who are not their parents. Jane was just so patient and kind to her little sister. I remember Beth, Jane and Christy telling Tom and me that St. thinky boys need to set the table. Seeing Jane and Christy together got me thinking about

Beth, and I had to find a quiet spot to compose myself. Tom found me in my office. He said that Jane had told him that I had called her. He said that he was glad I did. That he was not sure he would have been willing or able to make the call. I told him I bet if it were his kid, he would have. That's probably enough of my family Christmas. I know that the real The real update is, did I talk with Jane? Tom and his family went home because his kids wanted to play with their new toys. Christy and John left to meet John's family for a late Christmas meal and get together. As Christy was leaving, she gave me a hug and told me, Merry Christmas, Daddy. When I turned around and saw Jane, I could see dread on her face. After everyone had left,

Jane asked to talk with me. We had a long conversation, and I'm going to hit him. the important parts. Jane said she was very thankful to be invited for Christmas. She told me that when she started dating after her divorce, because of her age, she met a lot of guys who had older kids like her own. Many didn't think trying to blend families with older kids was a good idea. I guess they figured the kids would be out of the house soon, and they had co-parenting relationships that worked for them. However, Jane has her kids pretty much all the time. A large factor in her divorce had been that her husband had a view that his job was more important than their kids' lives. She wanted to be with somebody who would show her kids, especially her son,

that family is not just a thing women care about. Apparently, as her longest relationship was spiraling, she had an argument with her boyfriend where she said something like, and remember, I am paraphrasing a story she told me, what's so hard about stepping up and being a good dad? My stepdad was able to do it, and he didn't have any kids of his own when he married my mom. To which that boyfriend said something like, you mean the guy you treat like sexy, and your kids treat him badly, too. She says that after that fight or whatever, she kind of started thinking about our relationship, the things I had done for her, and that she had done as well.

She told me she felt embarrassed and ashamed. She didn't even know how to start to fix anything, and she thought Tom, Christy, and I were mad at her. She asked me if we could have a relationship like I have with Christy and Tom. I told her that I could not give her a replica of my relationship with Christy and that none of us could change the past. I told her that for me, nothing had changed from when I was at the park that afternoon, where I told her that I would be willing to do all the things her dad was not around to do. I will always be as much her dad as she wants. Jane was crying by this point, and I held her. She started sobbing harder and saying she was sorry.

I told her that I knew and that everything was okay. In the middle of this, something happened that I had waited a very long time to hear. The sobs of I'm sorry became Dad, I'm so sorry. I am so so sorry. Well, one apology and a good cry don't change a person. The next morning, I was mostly back to being Sam, but there were a few dads and even one daddy sprinkled in. We will see. Some other things I'm guessing people will want to know.

We did talk about her mom's funeral. She said that she didn't mean to do anything secretive. By using the plot that was paid for, they saved on some costs and were able to get an encasement as well. The encasement should make it possible to have my cremains interred with my wife. Also, I guess a down payment has been made towards a headstone for me that can be integrated with my wife's. Finally, her youngest was apparently upset that Tom's oldest called me grandpa all the time at the funeral and thought that it meant I liked Tom's son more than him. That was years ago now, but she said she would be bringing up the Grandpa Sam's situation with her kids. I said I would like that.

In all of this, Jane never tried to say that it was her father's brother or any of the rest of her father's family who didn't like me or made her act like she did. There was no evil outside influence. She is just a scared girl who wishes she could have done some things differently. I know many people said that she wouldn't really change. I know change is very hard. Maybe after the holidays, everything will just go back to being like it was. However, even if that's what happens, I at least got one Christmas day when Jane wanted me to be her dad. Also, Jane knows I am posting this and said it was okay.

Now on to the next story. Story 2. Came home early and caught my wife cheating red-handed. She tried to deny it at first, but the truth came out. My wife and I met through our parents eight years ago and we got married shortly after. We joked around and told people it was an arranged marriage because that was what it felt like. They thought we would be cute together and practically forced us on our first date. I had been too focused on my career to really focus on a serious relationship before I met her.

I had a lot of meaningless flings and casual partners, but I hadn't met anyone I wanted to settle down with. When we got together, it finally clicked for me. I could see what people meant when they talked about love at first sight and just knowing when you meet the right person. We had our first child together after being married for two years. Everything was falling into place with us and it felt amazing. We owned our own home, had two kids, and a dog, and were in love. My job has always been very demanding. I have to travel a lot.

When I'm not traveling I'm working late nights at the office, and I have to take work home with me quite often. That was why casual flings worked so well for me before meeting my wife. If I was in the mood, I could just call someone and I didn't have to worry about much else. It was more difficult to balance when I was married. I would spend long days at work and come home to my wife and the kids and still have to be on with them. By the end of the day, I was exhausted. I'll admit, my sex life with my wife lacked a lot of spontaneity. When we had sex with each other, it was practically scheduled.

She would tell me she wanted to, and I would tell her a day that worked for me. In hindsight, I know that it was probably unfulfilling. but it was never brought up to me. I made good money and I took care of my wife. She didn't work, so she stayed home and took care of the kids. When they were both in school, she didn't have as much to do during the day. She would tell me about how bored she would get after the house was cleaned and how she needed to find something to fill her time.

She invested in a lot of different hobbies to try during the day but nothing stuck. She decided to join a cooking class at the local community center. She had always been a great cook, so I didn't understand why she was taking a class for it. When I asked her about it, she said it was to expand our taste buds. She was learning all kinds of new techniques and recipes, and she was really proud of her work. I was happy that she was happy and I didn't question it anymore. She cooked some of the new recipes for us for dinner and while we ate she would rave about the things she learned. She would always talk about the class instructor and how bruce.

brilliant he was. He was apparently very innovative and planning on opening a new restaurant in town. I had no idea anything was going on until I saw it with my own eyes. I had been at work one day when I got sick. I had been feeling bad in the morning, but I forced myself to go to work. In the middle of the day, I couldn't take it anymore and decided to go home. I was so out of it that a co-worker drove me home. I didn't even think to text my wife and let her know I was on my way home. When I walked in, I could see that she had the dining room set up for a meal. It looked romantic. There were candles and wine glasses laid out. She was dressed up and in the kitchen cooking. I walked in and asked what was going on. She was very surprised to see me and tried to make it seem

like she was just experimenting. I still didn't understand why there were two places set at the table. The doorbell rang not long after I arrived and I answered it. A young man was on the other side and he turned as pale as a ghost when he saw that I answered. He had a bottle of wine with him, so I assumed he was the dinner guest. My wife introduced me to him and told me that he was her cooking instructor. She tried to play it off as inviting him over to show him what he taught her. Honestly, I didn't believe it. But I was awfully sick. I was having a hard time standing upright and I needed to collapse in bed.

It was something that I needed to handle another time. It seemed fishy, but it wasn't impossible that she was telling me the truth. I went to my room and passed out in the bed. I woke up early the following morning and my wife was next to me. Part of me thought it was a dream but I knew that it wasn't. While she was asleep, I grabbed her phone and looked through it. There were obviously a lot of deleted messages between her and the instructor, which was a major red flag. She was hiding something and I knew that their lunch wasn't as innocent as she tried to make it seem.

I looked through her image gallery and found a few hidden photos of the instructor. They were shirtless pictures mostly, but I found one picture of another man's private parts and assumed it was his. I sent what I was able to find to myself and put her phone back before she woke up. She had never given me any reason to suspect that she was cheating on me, but at that moment I started to wonder if I just missed the signs because I was too busy working. I called out of work but I told my wife I was going in. I ended up stopping by the library to use a computer and look for a good divorce attorney. After I found one, I did some digging into the cooking instructor my wife had been seeing.

I found his website online and saw that he was a minor cooking influencer online. He had a lot of followers on his social media pages and even had some sponsorships. I figured that I could ruin all of that for him. I found out who managed. The community center and contacted them, informing them of the inappropriate behavior of the instructor. He seemed to be relying on the kitchen at the community center while he planned his restaurant opening. I had no doubt he was relying on that income to get it started too. When I was done there, I lingered around town until I could go home and pretend like I worked all day.

I waited until I had some information from my lawyer to tell my wife that it was over. When I finally got the word, I served her with the papers and savored the shocked expression. I told her I knew about the instructor and she tried to deny it. When she realized there was no point, she started explaining why it happened. She told me that she was feeling unfulfilled. She put all of the blame on me for not satisfying her and making her feel like she came second to my job. Like I said before, in hindsight, I can agree with that. But she never came to me and told me anything.

If she had, I would have listened to her and tried to change for her. I would have gone to counseling if we needed to. I loved her and he would have done anything to make sure our relationship was okay. But, she decided what she wanted to do and sealed our fate for us. There was no going back to the way things were for me. She was disappointed and tried to sway me away from divorce, but it wasn't going to happen. We ended up divorcing and I was favored in the end because she cheated. We still have to spend a lot of time together due to custody arrangements and were cordial,

but I don't talk to her about anything other than the kids. I hope you enjoy this story. partner found it amusing to repeatedly belch and pass gas in my presence. When I eventually reached my breaking point and ended the relationship, he appeared at my residence and assaulted my companion, and revealed his true self. Hello, Reddit. I've been dating James for just over a year.

We have a really good relationship and we are good with communicating any issues that we have come to, I am very much in love with him and we are happy. Now, maybe he is very comfortable with me now, which I know is a good thing, but I'm very frustrated and I don't know if it's just me. This is the only issue I have with him. He's just constantly farting and burping and it's starting to really gross me out. It feels stupid to even type that. But it's really become excessive.

We are both graduated from school and work full time. We do not live together, but he is starting to move into my apartment. This started about five months into our relationship and it has gotten progressively worse. He will burp constantly and blow it into my face, to a point where I will start dry heaving, because he thinks it's funny. He does the same thing with farting, always trying to do it on me because he thinks it's hilarious. I know it's normal, I grew up with four brothers, but he is constantly forcing it to happen. This is not once or twice. We have spent almost every night together the past, six months, and it will happen all night. All night. I have asked him to please stop because I find

it really gross, especially the burping because he will do it in my face and it turns my stomach and he will apologize but still continue to do it. Or lean in for a kiss and burp in my face instead, then laugh himself to the point of tears when I act disgusted. I thought maybe, at first, he was just really gassy and I should be more understanding because it's a natural bodily function. He does not do this when we are out to dinner or with friends. A few months ago we went to a wedding together with some members of his family and he accidentally burped really loudly like he normally does when he is alone with me, and our table went really silent and glared at him.

I didn't want him to be embarrassed so I high-fived him and said good one. Then the whole table started laughing and cheering and he afterwards he pulled me aside and said he was thankful I did so, as he was humiliated, but I broke the ice. I was a bit drunk and frustrated so I asked him why he does it to me constantly, but he wouldn't do it in front of other people. His reasoning is that I am his girlfriend and he should be able to play around with me like that. That I was being a typical girl for finding it rude, uptight, high maintenance. I didn't want to argue about it, so I told him I was none of those things and he knew it, cut the bullshit, we'll talk about it later when we're sober and just have a fun time at the party for now. And we did.

But it never changes. I've tried to make plans to be out of the house when we see each other, because even though it seems ridiculous it's starting to stress me out. I can't talk to any of my friends about it because they think it's so funny. He is a very sweet guy, I like spending time with him, but I feel nauseous when we are alone together because it's just so gross. He is starting to work longer shifts so he wants to stay in a lot most nights to relax. He started doing it during sex, as a joke, and our sex life has really suffered because of it. A few nights ago he was texting me before he got off work, complaining about his day and he seemed really stressed out so I told him I would come over and I'll make his favorite and I'll make him forget about it. So I went over to his house and started cooking until he was off.

After dinner he leaned in to kiss me and I turned my head because I'm so used to him burping in my face. We had an argument because he was accusing me of cheating, we haven't been having sex. I told him it was because of the burping, and he said I needed to get over it, that he was only joking and I was being such a prude. That his girlfriend shouldn't reject a kiss from him yada yada. I told him that I've been saying this is a problem for a while, I don't think it's funny at all. I have thrown up because of it, he started to laugh as I said that.

And I just, kind of lost it. I don't really yell at people, I am a calm and collected person, so I scared him a bit. I told him it was disgusting and I am getting to the point where I'm no longer attracted I've been trying so hard to be understanding but it's a two-way street. It wasn't to me about something being gross or funny anymore, it was about respect. He kind of got defensive, trying to throw in how I was overreacting, being ridiculous, but I shut it down and he apologized because he apparently didn't know I felt so strongly about He would try not to do it anymore at all.

I don't care that it happens. I only care that he forces it, etc. Now, having talked it out, for the next couple of hours he actually didn't try to burp in my face or fart on me. I was so happy I could enjoy cuddling my boyfriend without trying not to vomit. So I started unzipping his pants to make him forget about his bad day. You already know where this is going. It's humiliating, but I'm going to type it out anyway, as I was trying to blow him he pushed my head down so I couldn't get away and tensed up and started farting loudly, while laughing. I was so frustrated I started crying immediately.

I think he realized he did something wrong because he let go of my head and tried to I thought you meant to do it less. I thought it was going to be funny, to break the tension from before. but I got up and left his apartment. That was two days ago. He has tried calling me, texting me constantly. I have not responded. His messages range from being very apologetic to very angry, back and forth. I don't know what to do and I feel like this relationship is over but I still love him.

I feel also, really gross and violated in a way. Our mutual friends have been texting me as well asking me. if everything is okay, and I've tried explaining the situation to my best friend, but he found it hilarious. So I'm afraid to explain it to anyone else. This is just, so stupid. I literally feel like I'm crazy, maybe I am uptight, etc. I also have a lot of his stuff over here that belongs to him and I'm worried he will come back to get it and I'll have to face him. What should I do? Am I just overreacting? Comments where Op has replied. deleted

fuck that i grew up with three brothers and i wouldn't put up with this from a boyfriend either tell him when you do this it reminds me of growing up with my brothers and you're starting to be about as attractive as a brother as in i am not attracted to you because of this stop it immediately or i am going to stop this relationship immediately you are seriously crossing my boundaries and this is not okay anymore if he can't pick up on the fact that you are serious after that talk, dump him, because he's about as mature as a two-year-old oop. That's how I feel, he's like one of my brothers. I tried telling him this, but I don't

think he was taking me seriously. Thank you for your reply, because I suppose it really is a boundary and that's why I've been so upset about it and kind of invalidating my own feelings and believing I am being kind of ridiculous. Bluppy Tebowl. Good God. Just good God. After you literally screamed at him about it like a few hours ago, he thought it would be funny. Can you even picture being naked with him without gagging? Also the whole thing is kind of hilarious and the I can't believe this is how a real grown-ass person behaved. You've got to be making this up kind of way. Oop, to be fair, he did text saying he thought it was only the burping thing that I didn't like that much because it was what caused the fight and that's why he thought it

would be funny. But I haven't replied because I know I mentioned it as well. Update, thank you for everyone who replied to my original post, and also those who PM'd me. I wasn't really expecting as much support. But I'm glad that I'm not alone. Last night I was pretty miserable and just felt confused and sick about the whole thing. It really helped me deal with what I was feeling and rationalize, reading what everyone had written. I just want to clear a few things up before I get into how this has climaxed for me. My boyfriend did not start out doing this constantly, I remember the first time he did it I was confused and told him right away I did not like it calmly and he seemed to understand. I have never laughed when he did it purposely. I know the

difference between an accident and what he does. A lot of the replies helped me examine my relationship as a whole. We have had other problems that seem to fit the same pattern, he had the same behavior with driving very fast for fun and he had the same issue with playfully pinching and tickling but he was doing it so hard it would leave bruises. I always expressed that I did not like this, but he was insistent that I was overreacting. When I showed him he was actually hurting me, he stopped completely and never did it since. I didn't think it was an important thing to bring up. I think it's a bit harsh to call him abusive. Because he respected that boundary. I know a lot of people were suggesting that I do the same thing to him, or retaliate

and sound nice to entertain that fantasy, but I'm really not like that. I will never let someone else's actions define who I am as a person. I know I will never try to intentionally hurt someone and that makes me have faith in myself. A few of you made me really cry because before I wrote wrote my post I was completely unsupported and I felt alone and, well, really ridiculous and dumb. So thank you very much for taking the time to help me even though I'm a stranger and none of you owe me anything, let alone your time and kindness. Thank you. Now on to today. I have not replied to any of James' messages. I blocked him on all devices. I feel like I basically told him was over and he knew that.

I have messaged a few of our mutual friends back saying that I would really appreciate it if they would just drop it, that everything is okay with me but the relationship is over between us. A post said I didn't have to explain the situation completely, so I did that, they seemed very understanding except one replied saying over a one-time incident. Get real, LOL, but we so long as you're happy it didn't really bother me, because I know the truth. It was hurtful that James may have lied, but I'd rather surround myself with people who value honesty. I also invited my best friend over and asked him if he could help me box all of James' belongings to which he agreed right away. He kept asking me what happened, and if I was okay, so I showed him this post and he was disgusted. He apologized for laughing when I had tried to tell him earlier because he said he didn't know it was so serious. He offered to take James' belongings to him, but I made him promise to not be hostile or I'd ask someone else.

He agreed. We spent a lot of the day in my apartment. When the front door opened. It's hard for me to articulate myself, but I'll try to type it exactly as it happened. We both heard it and stopped talking immediately. It was James. I'm not going to lie, I was immediately frightened and maybe I could have handled it better. but I kind of just stood there. I just didn't expect to see him.

He has never showed up at my home or work without a warning. My friend asked him what the fuck he thinks he was doing here. James kept staring at me and ignored him saying I thought you were dead or something. Why have you been ignoring me? My friend stepped in front of him and handed him one of the boxes and told him he could take his stuff and leave, that it was over and I didn't want to talk to him. James laughed and made a move towards me and said I needed to talk to him alone, but my friend moved in front of him and told him that he shouldn't be in my house uninvited, that it was illegal and he was going to call the police. Then James got really mad and twisted his face all weird

and I can't explain it, but he started yelling and it was like he wasn't the same person at all. He called me a slut and a cunt and said that I was some ridiculous princess and he just kept going, my friend telling him that's nice, now you need to leave or I'm going to make you. And then James threw down his box and punched my friend in the face. I don't remember exactly, but my friend fell back and James came up to me and he grabbed me and started shaking me saying I was stupid for throwing this all away and that I was probably sleeping with my friend. I was very afraid and I couldn't believe this was happening. My friend got up and grabbed him by the back of his shirt and threw him off me and shoved him out of my apartment.

James ran away down the hall kicking people's doors and screaming. My neighbor had come out of his apartment and asked what was going on and I told him to call the ambulance because my friend was bleeding from his nose, I was so embarrassed. At the hospital I kept embarrassing myself crying and apologizing to my friend while we were in the waiting room. His nose is broken, he keeps making Owen Wilson jokes slash impressions, but he is okay. Now, I am at my friend's house because I'm afraid to go home. He said I can stay with him for as long as I need to. I feel really awful that my friend got his nose broken because I was a bad judge of character.

I also feel really guilty that I got so scared I just kind of stood there and let my friend get hurt. My friend is taking me to the police station to file a report, but I just want this whole thing to be over, but he is being insistent because I need to do this to ensure my safety. This is my first relationship and I don't even know if this person was real, I didn't think this was even possible to happen. I don't understand what I missed and I feel like I'm vibrating inside because of how frightened I am. I want to go home to my apartment, but I'm afraid he will come back. The way my head is does not make any sense. I feel ashamed even writing all of this because it was from something so small and juvenile so I don't know I'm just handling it weird or my head at blowing it completely out of proportion.

How do I proceed now, after I file a report? Has anyone been in this same situation before? How do people hide that kind of anger for over a year? Why did this happen? I'm sorry for the questions, but I just can't make sense. sense of my own thoughts right now. Next story, living a second life with my ex and my lucid dreams for a year. After I confessed to my wife, she contacted my ex to expose me, but X just told me she

thinks my dreams are sweet. I, M31, had been with my wife, F28, for three years. We had a short engagement, married quickly, and have a perfectly ordinary existence. I love her, she loves me. We do taxes, housework, watch movies. All the normal things. No physical cheating on either side as far as I know. But here's the thing.

I am a lucid dreamer, which means I can, to an extent, control my dreams which is something I find cool as it allows me to go on adventures while asleep. It also makes scary dreams not so bad because I can just wake myself out of them. Over the last year or so I've been having a recurring dream about my ex, my first love, F-29. Truth be told, I never got over her. We were together for five years from 1517 to 2022. We broke up after I graduated from college because she didn't want to move from New York to South Carolina with me, which is where the biggest industry for my field is. I was crushed, but moved on and we've spoken sporadically over the years, although we never

crossed any lines. I will admit that I've kept up with her own social media a bit but nothing stalkerish. Well, a year ago she announced she was getting married and I experienced a resurgence of feelings for her, although I never acted on them or told her. That same night, I dreamed about her for the first time in years. In the dream she showed up at my door and asked me if I wanted to get coffee. I said yes, of course. The dream, which was not a lucid dream, ended there. It felt so real, I couldn't shake the feeling once I woke up. It felt like we were actually reconnecting. Since then I've dreamed about her several times a week and I've practiced becoming lucid so I've been able to control the outcome more times than not. We've lived a whole

life together over the past year. Everything from dates to a trip to Paris together which we visited while in college. We even rewalked the same paths we did in real life. It got to the point I was looking forward to going to sleep to be with her. Fast forward to today, my wife told me she felt distant from me. And I started to feel guilty because I thought what I was doing was harmless, but she's obviously noticed a change in me. So I confessed. About all of it.

At first she that I was joking, but when she realized I was serious, she accused me of cheating on her and told her mom and sisters who are calling me a cheating weirdo. She even threatened to tell my ex so she'll know what a fucking loser I am. Now I get that it's not anything a woman would want to hear, but it's not like I physically cheated. I don't want to lose my wife, but I don't think she can forgive me for this. Comments where Op has replied, Soul Angelic, yeah, no, I think this might be a lost cause. I would certainly consider this cheating, and I think that it does indeed warrant a divorce. You clearly don't really love her at least, not as much as you love your ex.

Oop, I do love my wife, which is why I married her. I just also have feelings for my ex, which I should have been honest about before we got married. I didn't mean for this to happen, but once it did I wasn't able to stop it. Living that life with my ex while sleeping felt like getting to experience what I missed out on in young adulthood. With that said, my wife left overnight for a hotel. and I don't know if she's coming back. I feel awful for hurting her. Tilda Elsobot, I'm asking this genuinely,

not trying to be snarky at all, what did you think your wife's reaction was going to be? Did you expect what happened or did you think she would be more accepting? Oop, I knew she would be upset, but I felt I owed her an explanation once she communicated that Dove felt distant. I didn't want to gaslight her perception. I just hadn't known that she even noticed a difference in me. I just didn't think she would leave.

She's turned off her location I have no idea where she is or if she's all right and her family won't speak to me now. I do love her and would like for our marriage not to end, but that seems inevitable now as I process this. Update, two days ago, I posted about the fallout that occurred after I, 31, admitted to my wife, 28, that I've been lucid dreaming about my ex and first love, 29, over the past year. After a major blow-up, where my wife called me every name in the book, and got her family involved, which I understand completely so please don't take this wrong, my wife left. I didn't know her whereabouts for over 24 hours. Early this morning about 3 a.m. she came home and told me she wanted to file for divorce. She didn't want to have to compete with a phantom and deserved better than a shitbag like me.

But she doesn't want to move out or start the process because it's a pan-a-person. and she doesn't want to live on one income. We make roughly the same amount of money, me $90,000 a year after taxes, and her $85,000. I tried to apologize to her for all the hurt I caused by making her feel like she wasn't enough, to assure her that I do love her even though I still love my ex and explain to her that I've never physically cheated or had any inappropriate conversation with my ex. But she won't budge. She doesn't want me anymore.

I can't blame her. I was selfish and I shouldn't have carried on what I now accept to be a one-sided emotional affair. So I agreed to stay together, for financial purposes, for two years, or until the pandemic is over, whichever comes first, but she's kicked me out of our bedroom and basically claimed the second floor for herself. There's so much tension in the house right now, so I left as soon as the sun came up and went to a coffee shop to do some work. While there, I received a message on IG from my ex that my ex-wife sent her a long message from her own account telling her about everything that I told her. I froze because I hadn't spoken to her in a long time. But she saw that I had read the message and followed up an hour later, telling me she needed to know the truth. So, again, I confessed, expecting to be berated and called a loser again.

Because I had nothing else to lose. but she didn't think that my dreams about her were weird or creepy. She thought it was sweet that I still loved her, especially with her knowing that I'd never tried to have inappropriate conversations or force my way into her life. I'm aware that her not condemning my actions don't make them right or take away from the hurt I caused my wife, but knowing she didn't think negatively of me made me feel better. We messaged back and forth for a couple of hours, talking about our relationship and how it ended and the choices we made. In that, I learned that she and her fiancé called off their

engagement a few months ago. I also told her my wife was going to divorce me because of the revelation. She expressed her condolences and that was the end of the conversation. I'm home now and I can't help but wonder if this is the universe's way of putting my ex and I back on the path to reconciliation. Hate me if you want, but I made a mistake and I hurt my wife and my marriage is over now. or going to be. But knowing that the person I ruined my marriage over doesn't think I'm the scum of the earth is worth its weight in gold. I don't know what will happen now. But I can't imagine a friendship with my ex won't blossom from this, at the very least. I know this won't make my wife happy since she contacted my ex to further shame me, but I may just not tell her.

We are, after all, divorcing. I hope the next few months and years can result in healing for both my wife and myself, and that will both live happy, fulfilled lives. I hope you enjoy this story. Colleagues began experiencing regular emotional outbursts, then fixated on a male co-worker who turned down their advances, leading them to fabricate allegations of misconduct while monitoring female staff members and making violent threats. Am in lower management in a white-collar workplace. My department has around 25 people total, and I run a small team of around 10 employees. The work environment is pretty casual, it's common for people to become friends with their coworkers, and people often go out for drinks slash to events after work and socialize.

Around six months ago, a woman joined the department. I'll call her Jane. She is not on my team, but we all utilize a shared office space, and she sits directly beside me. Jane is in her but is very small and thin and is often mistaken as a younger team. Within a month of joining the department, Jane began to have crying episodes at work. The reasons seemed legitimate, death of family members, legal slash housing issues, etc. The department was very empathetic and did their best to uplift her when she seemed to be suffering. I did not notice at the time, but she began to form a pattern of having crying episodes once every week or two. They were never loud and dramatic, she'd just well up at her desk and start

messaging people on Slack asking if they had time to talk. Usually someone, often other women in the department, would take her aside and offer verbal support until she got herself together. I and the others in management often encouraged her to take the rest of the day off, but she always refused, and after being comforted, would return to work completely normally, laughing and joking. About three months ago, Jane developed a huge crush on a man in an adjacent department. She gushed to the other women about how handsome he was, and obsessed over any interaction with him. He spoke to her in passing maybe twice, and she didn't even know his name, but began to talk about how excited she was to date him, so she could move away from her current situation.

This raised some yellow flags, but we collectively shrugged it off as a young person with a big crush. Eventually Jane convinced a co-worker to pass the young man her phone number. Unfortunately, he elected not to text her. Jane became unusually agitated and began to loudly complain. At one point she allegedly texted one of her team leads at 9 p.m. complaining that she deserved an explanation and was being ghosted. Her co-workers tried to talk her down, reminding her that the young man may be married, or simply uninterested, but she refused to listen and continued her loud, public ranting.

Jane said that she wanted to look especially hot to make her crush regret ghosting her. She began to imitate some of the younger women in the department, buying dupes of their outfits and accessories, and openly asking where they bought their clothing so she could get the same thing. She heavily fixated on one Gothic woman in particular, to the point where she would wear copies of her outfits from the day before, like clockwork. The woman she was copying apparently became irritated and began to show up to work in increasingly outlandish body chains and harnesses to shake the copying, and some of the snarkier people began to make bets on whether or not Jane would show up to work in a harness. She did not,

at this point, several people from work went out on a Friday for drinks. Again, the department is very casual, and Jane was invited. During the course of the evening, she allegedly became blackout drunk on two drinks, and railroaded the evening by beginning to cry loudly about her ex-hook-up. The sister of a co-worker took her to the restroom, wherein she ranted for at least half an hour about how frustrated she is over her social issues. Apparently, Jane feels that most women hate her because she is so small and slim, and they cannot contain their jealousy. She claimed that most women hate her because their boyfriends won't leave her alone.

To take things further, whenever another random woman walked into the bar bathroom, Jane would accost them, weeping, and complain about how cruelly she is treated over her petite build. She ended up getting kicked out of the bar by 10 p.m. and people spoke for weeks about how awkward the whole evening was. Shortly thereafter, Jane began to publicly levy accusations against her work crush. She claimed that he was stalking her on the work floor, and that he would regularly corner her and stare at her ass whilst making dirty comments. She followed women onto their lunch breaks and messaged them constantly about it. At this point, I had overheard enough, and encouraged Jane to speak to,

speak to HR. She refused, suddenly claiming the harassment wasn't that big a deal. Over the next couple weeks, people observed her in the same room as the reputed predator, wherein no interaction happened. After which she would return to the department office and complain about stalking and dirty comments. One of the more egregious situations I personally witnessed involved her walking silently past the man with no interaction, and returning to the team office. When I entered the office minutes later she was huddled over her desk, with two women awkwardly flanking her, as she described in frightening interaction in which she was followed into a dark corner and verbally assaulted with sexualized statements regarding her slender stature. I met with HR shortly after,

described specific overheard lies, and provided timestamps. Our entire facility is peppered with cameras, so I felt fairly confident that HR would investigate and validate my claims. I did make it clear that harassment could have occurred, and that despite witnessing lies, I didn't want to unfairly assume everything was lies. H.R. took things seriously, and requested a meeting with Jane. During the meeting, Jane doubled down, agreed she was being stalked, and requested that an official investigation be opened. This was her undoing. HR immediately began pulling camera footage from the timestamps I provided, and some of the women Jane had vented to were called in for interviews. From there, whisper spread, and a flood of

people began to initiate their own HR meetings. Apparently her lies were constant and poorly concealed, and people were disturbed. H.R. requested Jane provide her own time stamps for alleged assaults. Suddenly Jane could not remember the dates, even hazily, and began to openly cry and break down in the office over the stress. She developed vicious migraines that caused her to out on the days that HR had requested meetings, or claimed that her superiors were overworking her to the point she had no time to meet. As HR pressed on, she began to speak poorly about the HR rep, calling her arrogant and condescending. One morning Jane wrote out a harsh, snappy email belittling the HR representative for not comprehending how busy she, Jane, is, and after

sending it, walked her open laptop through the room showing people how she defended herself. Jane became increasingly paranoid and began to burrow into people she presumed connection with. Two additional women requested meetings over Jane's obsessive and clingy behavior. Besides the outfit copying, she began to intently stare at the women she was close to in the office. I know that staring is an odd thing to get worked up over, but again, Jane sits near me, and I personally witnessed it. Jane would turn her chair and sit silently, with wide open eyes, fixating on someone for up to 30 minutes. It was never an angry stare or menacing. It was almost as though

she weren't aware of her own body, and was visually absorbing the person she was fixated upon. Several times the victim caught her in action and awkwardly waved, and Jane seemed startled, as though unaware that she was visible. I personally observed her covertly following individuals she was fixated on in common areas, shuffling behind corners and near windows, silently staring with wide, wet eyes. It disturbed me but I did not know how to address it to HR without sounding petty. As HR became more aggressive demanding meetings, Jane became more distraught. She had been made aware during her initial meeting that someone had reported her complaints of sexual harassment and made her personal mission to find the rat. She began to corner co-workers and

demand their opinion on her list of suspects. At one point, she told someone that when she figured out who reported her she would start smashing skulls. People were naturally disturbed, and another rash of HR reports took place. HR abruptly went dark and stopped requesting meetings with Jane. I personally suspect that they were collaborating with the legal department on plans of termination, but the silence was unnerving to the more high-strung people in the department, whose nerves were already frayed. One of the more vulnerable women was followed to her lunch break daily by Jane, and as she snuck out to the common areas, was bombarded with messages begging for girl time. One lunch break Jane followed the woman out to the common area and allegedly struck her backside

with no warning, and claimed she just had to do it. This woman has diagnosed anxiety issues and ended up having several panic attacks at work, and had to call out for a day and a half. She was so frightened of Jane she elected not to report the incident to HR, and instead hit herself as much as possible. Two days after striking the woman, Jane got a tattoo that was similar to one the woman has. It felt like a sick way of marking territory. I requested another HR meeting and shared what I could, but as the primary victim was too frightened to come forward, it was all hearsay and rumors. I made it clear that people were miserable and afraid, and that Jane is a walking lawsuit. I was told we are just as upset as you and it will be over soon. So here I am.

now. Leadership has gathered the more vulnerable people around them and begun to have casual group lunches with them, attempting a safety in numbers kind of thing. Women have messaged leadership on Slack asking for escorts on their smoke breaks, because they are so anxious that Jane may follow them out. Men refuse to interact with Jane without witnesses because they are afraid of being accused of sexual assault. It is tragic and stupid that one 100 pounds woman could turn an entire department on its head. I have a history of mental and physical abuse, and the entire situation is painful. The knowledge that Jane has threatened to smash the rat's skull, and sits directly beside me

has brought a lot of paranoia up. I'm no bitch, but I have been pounding liquor after work just to calm down. I am not making the progress I should be in therapy, because my sessions are overtaken with processing Jane. My wife has expressed concern and dismay over my regression, and I am deeply ashamed. So here we are now. I've been enjoying my weekend, but Monday is looming. I desperately hope that Jane is fired first thing, and am considering threatening to refuse to come in until she is let go. While I don't feel exactly comfortable trying to push the company into a corner, I feel that I am out of options, and I just want it to stop. For both my sake and the vulnerable people in the department. It's Sunday afternoon now, but I will hopefully update soon.

Update, hello again, everyone. A lot of people asked for updates, apologies for the long delay. Things escalated massively and I chose not to update until now, as there were concerns of this becoming a legal issue. Also, I regret using sociopath in my original post. For continuity purposes, I am keeping that as the header of my update, but I now believe that Jane suffers from one or more cluster B personality disorders. I am no doctor, but I personally suspect untreated borderline personality disorder,

histrionic personality disorder, and or narcissistic personality disorder. The CEO came to the workplace and personally fired Jane in front of the entire department, and had her arrested immediately after. Then he gave me a promotion, my own labeled parking spot, and a hefty bonus that I used to take a trip to Greece. The day after my wife and I returned, she discovered that she is pregnant with twins. I announced our pregnancy at the next quarterly meeting, and the entire room burst into applause. Jane is currently serving 10 to 12 years in prison, where they have her on a chain gang

breaking rocks along the railroad tracks. Life is really looking up. Obviously none of that happened. But, things are better regardless. To start, Jane is no longer employed at the company. Besides some residual stress, the department seems to be doing well overall. and everyone has bounced back more or less. As for the details, I'll try to lay them out briefly and give more detail and comments if anyone has questions. I got a few complaints on my last post for being too wordy so I'll do my best to keep things shorter this time. I'll warn everyone though,

it's still going to be pretty long and unfortunately complicated. One, attempted emitter accusation. Shortly after my first post, Jane fixated on one of the many employees who had reported her to H.R., presuming them to be the rat that had started everything. I'll call this employee Sarah. Sarah was one of the women Jane had tried to ingratiate to, and imitated her outfits. After Sarah made her report to H.R., she withdrew from Jane and began openly ignore-slash-avoid her, which apparently hurt Jane's feelings very much, as she was often seen crying and asking people why Sarah hates her in the break room. Shortly after Sarah withdrew, Jane and one of her relatives in the company began telling employees that Sarah's brother, who often picks her up from

work, had attempted to emitter Jane by trying to run her off a bridge while she drove home. They claimed that they were certain that Sarah had put him up to it, as she had been acting shady recently. Two, theft of personal device this is where things become muddled. I'm not exactly sure what happened myself, as most of the information came to me in scraps and overheard gossip, and my superiors did not tell me anything personally. But a ledgered allegedly Sarah was very upset by Jane's accusations and texted some very unkind things about Jane to one of her friends. I mentioned earlier that Jane has a relative that works in the company, and have mentioned

this relative in other comments. Well, Jane and this relative are very close and seem to have an unhealthy relationship where they both resent and blindly defend each other. They live together and have worked together in the past, so I suspect there is some deep-rooted codependency between them. Regardless, the blind defense comes in here. Basically, Jane's relative decided to steal Sarah's phone while Sarah was away from her desk and screenshot the messages Sarah had sent one of her friends complaining about Jane.

I don't know what exactly the content of the messages was, but from what I understand, it was pretty offensive. Jane's relative then sent the screenshots to HR as evidence of bullying. In our state, stealing and accessing someone's personal device is a crime. Regardless, H.R. got involved and had some sort of conversation with Sarah about the unkind nature of her texts, and everything went to hell from there. I'm still upset that H.R. elected to do that, considering the texts were brought to their attention through an obvious crime. As far as I am aware, Sarah was not written up or officially reprimanded, but the damage was done.

Three. Jane escalates and destabilizes people began to openly shun Jane and her relative, which did nothing but further upset Jane. who blamed it all on Sarah's influence. Suddenly rumors that Sarah had physically attacked Jane in the office sprouted via Jane's relative, though no official reports were ever made. Jane's relative told people that Jane was too afraid to speak up. Jane began to openly cry and have panic attacks on the work floor, claiming she feared for her life.

She only acted out in this way if leadership was not around, and conveniently only had her meltdowns around other regular employees. Unfortunately for her, people continued to avoid her, and employees from other departments began to come to my department's leadership with complaints about Jane's erratic behavior. Five, physical slash sexual assault reports back in my first post, I mentioned that Jane had slapped the backside of a woman that she was fixated on. Well, in the midst of all this, the woman decided to officially report to HR that she had been sexually assaulted by Jane.

And what do you know, within a week of that, Another two employees made their own reports of inappropriate physical contact from Jane. Apparently Jane had a pattern of poking slash tickling other people, and coming up to them at their desks to rest her head on their shoulders. The woman who had been slapped spoke to me after her HR meeting and told me that she felt badly for not reporting sooner, but that she feared for her safety, as Jane had made retaliatory physical threats in the past with no noticeable consequence. The woman was also afraid that Jane would turn the situation around on her,

and make it seem that she had initiated sexual contact in the workplace. Considering Jane's history, this was a very valid fear. Five. Jane and her relative resign I don't know exactly what pushed Jane over the edge, but in the middle of a random Monday, she had some sort of crisis. I did not witness it, but I was told that she burst into sobs on the work floor and said things like, I can't do this anymore. And I'm fucking done.

One of the snarkier employees that witnessed the meltdown claimed that Jane cried so hard she was choking and gasping, and had snot face. One of Jane's favorite things to do at work was to make little sketches and tape them around her workspace. Directly after her meltdown, she returned to the office and dramatically tore all of her little pictures and sketches down, ripping some apart in the process, and demanded a meeting with the manager. The two of them left the room, and around ten minutes later the manager returned alone. 6. Exposure of sabotage Jane did not return to her desk. Apparently, she had quit. I found out later that Jane's relative had also quit that day, neither of them giving any notice. As a parting blow, one of the two, not sure which, posted the screenshots of Sarah's text messages on Facebook.

Jane also allegedly made a post in which she accused the company of enabling bullies, and bragged in the comments that she had purposely misplaced slash destroyed important materials to sabotage a random employee, who she named. The employee Jane's sabotage had been spoken to several times in the past few months for misplacing materials, and had been scrutinized by management for his assumed negligence. No one knows why Jane would go out of her way to antagonize the employee, as he is a very quiet person that avoids drama. I personally speculate that perhaps Jane felt rejected by him, as she appeared to full. flirt with him back when she first started, but pretty quickly realized that he is not attracted to women. But again, just my personal speculation. Anyway, I'm assuming Jane and her relative

realized they had massively fucked up, or were legally threatened. Because both the post admitting to sabotage and the screenshots from Sarah's phone were deleted from Facebook within a couple hours of posting. Seven, conclusion things are back to normal now. People are noticeably happier and more relaxed, and our productivity has skyrocketed. People, myself included, are still upset that Jane wasn't fired back when she first made physical threats in the workplace, but morale has been great regardless. I have no idea if the company is planning on suing Jane for purposely destroying slash misplacing materials, but my gut feeling is that they just want the whole situation to be closed, and will let her walk with no consequences.

Our company is in the medical field, and the materials Jane destroyed slash misplaced were related to clinical studies for cancer patients, which is absolutely horrendous. The young man Jane accused of sexual harassment back in my first post is back at work and seems to be doing just fine. I've noticed that other employees have been going out of their way to chat with him and make him feel welcome. Some very kind people ask me to take care of myself, which I appreciate. I am doing much better now, and trying to get back on track mentally. I've been cutting back on my alcohol intake and leaning into my hobbies and social life. I had a long talk with my wife the week Jane quit and

apologized for falling apart and burdening her with my mental weight. There were a few nights during the worst week where I drank myself to oblivion, shame spiraled and slept on the couch because I felt that she didn't deserve to sleep next to a miserable drunk. My wife accepted my apology immediately. She says that she was very worried for a time. because my distress and regression were extremely noticeable. When I admitted that I had been sleeping on the couch due to shame and thoughts that she deserved better, she teared up and began to scold slash aggressively hug me

for my criminal levels of idiocy. I'll be doing everything I can to build better coping mechanisms so that, should something like this come up again, I'll minimize the effect it has on her. So while we didn't go on a vacation to Greece and become pregnant with twins, we're hanging on decently. She's been a little shaken since the whole debacle, and I don't blame her.

I'm doing my best to get my act together for her. She deserves the best. I have no idea what Jane and her relative are doing now. I heard yesterday that they have moved to a different state, which they had talked about in the past. There were concerns that they would attempt to cause more trouble down the line, but considering they have no legal legs to stand on, I doubt it. However, should Sarah or one of the people Jane inappropriately touched express an interest in pursuing legal action, I will remove my posts to avoid harming their proceedings. Anyway, that's the update.

Apologies again for the long delay. Thank you again to the many kind people that offered advice and well wishes, I appreciated a lot. I honestly felt like I was going insane at some points, but reading other people's stories about their dealings with Jane like people really brought things into perspective. If there's a moral to this situation, it's that mental health is not a joke. And if you think you have some issues, especially severe issues like Janes, please seek treatment. Thank you all. I hope everyone has a great day.