Reddit Stories - Betrayed_ From DEDICATION to DECEPTION - The UNFORESEEN Twist in Acquiring a Home for My Partner_

Episode Date: September 19, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #dedication #deception #homeownership #relationships #unexpectedSummary:A gripping tale unfolds in "Betrayed: From Dedication to Deception," revealing an unexpected twist in acquiring a home for a partner. The story delves into themes of trust, betrayal, and the complexities of relationships.Tags:redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, dedication, deception, home ownership, relationships, unexpectedBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. I acquired a residence for my partner through dedication and was prepared to suggest, but unexpectedly she desired to discover her own identity. Greetings, everyone. My partner has just concluded our four-year partnership. After I did some poking and prodding. We have a house, a life, I just finished saving for a ring last week. Tomorrow we have reservations for our four-year anniversary, and I'm hyperventilating a bit.

The story is a little complicated. She's had a hereditary disease her whole life. We started dating when she was in remission, of sorts, and she got sick again about a year in. It's been a mess of new drugs, sickness, health, etc. for her. We've made it through together, it made our bond very strong. I own my own business, so I was able to work and support us both when she couldn't work her full-time job. However, this business found me pretty successful at a young age I fell into a deep, deep depression. She helped me through that just by being there, but it's been rough.

I gained back 90 of the 100 pounds I lost in high school, drank heavily, I became much more withdrawn, I lost my lust for life. All for a business. She's always been the type to never speak up. She never wants to upset anyone to a fault she was walked all over in past relationship. relationships, jobs, etc. I pushed as hard as I could to figure out simple things, like what she wants to eat for dinner. Her doctors had a note not to trust what she says because she's oftentimes more sick than she says she feels. About 18 months ago we made the decision to move, after

living together for a year, out of the city. The city was killing us, and we picked out a house in our dream location. I purchased it knowing full well it's not smart to own a house with and so you're not married too. We made the decision she'd finally quit her job and go back to school for a career she loves it took her our whole relationship to do so. I've been supporting us 100% the whole time, without her asking, she's always felt terrible about it. This change kicked me out of my depression. We were in a place that I could thrive in, she could go to school and work and we could have a family. I hired people, started working a normal schedule, stopped drinking heavily, and most importantly my focus was life again not business. I was living for experiences.

She loved the change in me, we were more active, she dove into school, and all was good. We talked heavily about marriage, had a rough time frame, everything was going really great. Then she got sick in October. Like, really sick. Six weeks in the hospital, I hired extra people and commuted five hours a day to see her, only missing three days. She ultimately had surgery and has been recovering at home the past month, able to get out in about a bit. I noticed a change as she was in the hospital. She wasn't excited to see me, I started having panic attacks when I got home due to the hours in schedule. I had thoughts of overwhelming dread that she was actually falling out of our

relationship. We talked about it and she assured me that was not the case, and through some reading I found that these thoughts were part of the depression I thought was gone. As she's been home recovering, I've done everything I can. I noticed our sporadic conversations about the future stopped, she turned away or changed the subject when I mentioned kids. She never kissed me, I had to kiss her. No hugs, no nothing. So finally tonight I just pushed her. I could only ask you okay. So much, as I had the past four months. She broke.

She said she had a lot of time to think in the hospital. She said she wasn't living for herself, and she needs to find herself, and she feels horrible because for four years I've pushed her daily to find her passions and follow them, not to think of others first in such an extreme. I did this because that's what I do. I work my dream job, and I want that for her. She says she feels like she's holding me back. She loves me, and I think I believe that because she's refusing to let me settle.

But damn, do I still love her? Most upsetting, she said that she's never felt at home in our house. She's felt like it was always mine and she was a girlfriend staying over. I pressed this issue before we moved, asking her where she'd like to live, anywhere in the world, I can work from anywhere. She said this was a great idea. Please know that I've also got no design since I'm just the muscle. So it's not a matter of my stuff being all over the place, she's decorated very nicely.

So here I sit. Sober, crying, fat, with no one to call. No close family or friends in 120-mile radius. I can't bring myself to open the door to the office I just built out for her new career, and the paint is literally drying from earlier tonight. We move to a family area, no more college scene. I read advice to throw yourself into work and I have a job that almost killed me once. And I will be alone in this house that was, in two to three years, meant for our family.

Money is not an issue. I love the area, I love our home, and I do not wish to leave. It truly is my dream to live here, but it was my dream to live here with our family. that we had planned. Life lesson, nothing is said in stone. So how do I even start to cope? We still love each other, we're best friends. I'm going up to sleep in our bed because I can't bring myself to sleep in a guest room and she doesn't want me to. She's going to stay while we untangle our life and she, along with my family and hers, are afraid of what I'll do to myself. I'm not going anywhere I've never been suicidal. But I sure as hell can't.

drink this one away, because the drinking won't stop. But she's going to leave, like, soon. I know it's not fair to hold on to the idea that she might just need to do some soul searching and come back. And I know that, being so sick for so long, she really didn't have a chance to figure out what she wanted. But I just can't help but feel absolutely gutted that it took this long for it to come out, because I can't see my life without us. It's the most life-shattering thing I've ever felt. Update 1, the past 24 hours have been a beautiful and sad journey. After the initial shock wore off, we've done a lot of talking and for the first time we've been completely honest with each other at the same time. We've been waiting and waiting for our relationship to

fit into the life we've built around it. We've had a hard go at it with the sicknesses, depression, and ultimately the transitional time in our lives. It was a hard time for everyone around us, getting out of college and finding ourselves. We both care so much for each other that we tried to force it to work, ultimately denying our own desires in the process. Personally, I admitted to myself that I am more afraid to be alone in this house and area than I am upset our time living together is ending. I have struggled with this since we moved here 18 months ago, because this is my dream. However, I've had serious doubts about our relationship, and the thing that kept me from saying anything was a fear of the unknown of living alone, as an adult, for the

first time in my life. XGF was very clear that it's not fair for me to feel guilty about the life I've built, and this is very true. Likewise, it is not fair to blame her for not wanting the same life. I do wish she had spoke up sooner, but ultimately I love her for trying to make it work because she wanted me to be happy. XGF simply does not know what she wants. She thought she wanted a house, kids, and a family, and when they started coming, she realized that she didn't know what she wanted. She only knows that she doesn't know what she wants. We are both adamant that life is too short to settle. This is important.

We've been living as best friends for a long time now, years maybe. Saying this out loud was a relief, because it does no mean either of us want our realtionship to end it just needs to evolve into its proper state. We decided to take the week to pack our stuff up and while it is sad, it's amazing to be with each other now that this is in the open. Sure, there is the initial feeling of hatred at everything that reminds us of the relationship because it's a hard thing to close an overall happy time in your life when you know it's for the best. But this is not an angry breakup, and it's been important to realize that the memories of these objects are all good memories. When the sweeping feelings of fear and sadness go away, happiness will remain. I've come to realize that it's not healthy to fill a void in oneself with a relationship. My biggest fear is being alone, because I don't yet know how to do that.

This relationship became a way for me to fill that void and avoid the fear. I know the process is just starting, and I know there will be some hard days ahead, but I have a feeling that I've felt much more alone in our relationship the past year than I outside of it. XGF and I aren't denying that we are very good friends, so this isn't goodbye. It's a change in living situation and a new personal journey for the both of us. And so life goes on. I've started the hunt for the right therapist, and my short-term plan is to get through moving her out. I will admit that the thought of taking her key is terrifying, and I'll miss the small things like the tampon box in the closet and the shoes all over the

entry. But as time passes I think this sadness will reside, and only happy memories will remain as we reminisce and catch up over lunch some day soon. Update 2, I didn't know what to expect from this event, because I had been dreading it for over a year. It's fair to say that the anxiety, worry, and pain it caused in that time ran my life. I didn't take inventory of this worry, though, until we separated. Today I find myself with the familiar pit in my stomach, the one that's become a companion of sort since we bought the house, and then remember that there is nothing to worry about, it's done. And I truly feel much better. I have a lot of anxiety about the future. I have to come to terms with the fact that I've been preparing for marriage

and a child in serious ways, and that plan is on hold. XGF and I have been living together since we decided to part ways a couple days ago. We didn't know what else to do, it just felt wrong and inappropriate to rip the Band-Aid after such an amicable decision. But I think we were both skeptical that it wasn't a good idea. It turns out it was the best thing we could have done, because it took some time for us to open up and ultimately resolve this entire thing. Last night I came home after being out most of the day letting her pack. She hadn't got much done, just kind of started a few chores and was visibly shaken. She saw me and started crying, because, I would find out later, she really thought I was making up the whole we've been living

as best friend's thing to get her through the move out. She sees how much I do love and it care for her, and it upset her because she thought she would be breaking my heart. It's important to note that this illustrates her issues. Putting others ahead of yourself is mostly a good thing, but when you value the simple happiness of those around you over your long-term emotional well-being to the extended affects your quality of life, it's unhealthy. I recognized this and was hell-bent on making sure she wasn't staying the rest of the week just for me.

This was the catalyst for probably the most honest and healing talk we've ever had. We sat on the couch for hours, talking about us and what happened. Ultimately she saw that I was completely honest with her, and that changed everything we had both felt the same way for so long. Once that thin veil of a romantic relationship was lifted and the expectation was gone, we instantly opened up and have actually been closer than we've ever been. It's strange and unexpected, but I think it's very welcomed from both sides. We have a very special relationship, it just isn't romantic. I think the most complicated thing about this situation is how simple it is. We are two people that fell in love, and that love transformed into the love of two close friends over time. We saw it all the way to the

end, as far as we could go before a refused proposal ruined our relationship. We tried, it just didn't work in that way. She told me that she had waited for months because she had no idea her feelings were mutual. Years of business have taught me not to wear my heart on my sleeve, and while I lived with these thoughts I was very careful not to show my hand. Why? It's complicated. Our relationship was an ebb and flow of emotion.

She was extremely sick at times, and extremely healthy at other times. I was the same with my depression. I have always been her main caregiver during this, and those doubts became hard to justify as true or circumstantial for both of us. Our relationship was very much that of a parent and child at times. It became a waiting game. It's not easy to think straight when you're spending 40 hours in the car six weeks in a row with your life on hold, or working a job you hate because you don't want to upset your coworkers by leaving. As we always experienced periods of health after the sickness, there was always a light at the end of the tunnel.

We both care for each other so much and understood sickness that we didn't want that to be a determining factor in our future healthy lives. So we both waited. In the spurts of good health we continued to build the life we thought we wanted, never stopping to assess the one determining factor together, our relationship. We simply thought we needed to see the big picture, and in a way I think, we did. Now that the life is set up, there are no doubts in either of our minds. We talked a lot about the timing, because she felt terrible it came up when she was in the hospital and around the holiday. Keep in mind she had thought this was one-sided, so she had wanted to say something but didn't want to ruin this time of year. I think this was the first time she really knew I was being truthful when I said I felt the same way, and there has never been a good time to do

this. She said she felt guilty because she wanted us to see each other's families one last time. This was a green light for my ultimate conclusion that we weren't crazy, this had simply turned into a great friendship. I asked her, if we were old friends from college, what would have been different about our holiday? She and I both spend days with other friends' families this time of year, and besides maybe sharing a bed instead of taking the floor there was no difference. We are very close friends with each other's family members, and none of those relationships have to change. I think in the end, we are going to go on to stay good friends with very little break because that's what we've been for two years. We both think our friendship

will grow now that the awkward expectation of romance no longer exists, and we're mutually happy about it. I am very scared to be alone, and that is my next big adventure. It's going to be one day at a time, and I am not looking for a big break until I venture on to start the family hunt from zero. But I know that I have to be okay here by myself to have any sort of chance at a healthy relationship in the future, so that's what I'll do first. Update 3. Today she moved out of our home. We always called it a home, but I don't think we ever got there, I think it was still just a house to both of us. Her whole family decided to come. We are very close and I've always felt closer to them than almost my entire real family. A lot of my pain did not come from our separation

because there truly is no heartbreak there. We love each other deeply, but it is a familial love. It has not been romantic love for a long time. My pain came from the thought I was losing part of my family. Their friendship, their intelligence, and their love are all things I've come to feel are my own. And so they came to help her, sure, but they also came to some. support me. They came to hug me and cry with me, and to let both of us know that this is not crazy but the most mature and perfect thing to do. They came to make sure I knew we'd be sailing and laughing around the dinner table very soon. Mostly they came to move her things into the truck and then to move my extra stuff from the basement to the empty spaces. They did this out of

love, and I felt that deeply all day today. This whole experience sounds like bullshit to most, and if I were reading this I would agree. What happens when one of us moves on and starts seeing someone else? We don't know. But we do know that we both want to see the other happy, and we've both lived in this relationship with so much guilt watching the other compromise to try and make it fit. In the days that followed our decision to separate we felt a lot of things.

It took a lot of time for us to sort through years of buried thoughts and emotion. We did that, lifting the pressure of romance, and embracing the warmth of close friendship, and I'm glad we had our week because I don't think our relationship has ever been better. Ultimately we are doing this for the right reasons, and we are doing it for very similar reasons. I have a lot of unresolved issues and my alone time in the past has led to drinking issues and depression because I just didn't have the skills to conquer it.

I am afraid to be alone I can't build a healthy relationship until I learn how to do this. I have been debating our relationship for years against being alone, and while it wasn't the correct decision it was always the easy one. I spent years taking care of her, and it was out of love, but it was also because taking care of myself was harder. This is wrong and not fair to myself or her. She has never been alone and has seeked the happiness and validation of others to bring herself happiness. She has stayed in situations not for herself but for others involved because of this. She went to the college her parents wanted and stayed because her roommate wanted her

too. She was destroyed in previous relationships because she put her need second and was walked all over. She stayed in horrible jobs for years because she didn't want to inconvenience her superiors by having to hire a new person. She moved up here for me because she did not know what she truly wanted. She will not be successful in a relationship until she can put herself first and know that she is not compromising herself for the other person and she was able to finally recognize that because of our relationship. There is no denying that our time together has been the best of both our lives, and there is absolutely a great sadness that it is over.

This is not jargon to avoid that. As we separated and untangled our stuff, we were regaining our own individuality and independence. This week there was a lot of crying but the tears were happy, and we've had so many good experiences that we've both grown into better people because of the other. Reliving the past four years was therapeutic and beautiful. It brought us closer together as friends, and we celebrated that this experience will only get better from here. We have a long road ahead, and our first lesson is that we are not we anymore. I am me, and she is herself.

We have both spent a long time living one life, and we both agree that while it probably isn't what two perfect emotional people would do, it was an amazing experience that we wouldn't change. We both became better people because of each other, and that's a successful relationship in my book. But it is no longer our house, our bedroom, or our fridge. It is mine, because I live alone now. It is important for me not to cry every time I slip and say we, because I do not yet have any I memories. That will come next and as scary as it might be I am excited.

I will make my house a home, I will not drink to bury the fear and I will begin therapy and move past my demons. I look forward to learning the fine art form of me. I thank you all for the support this week. You have been very kind, and I think this will be my last update for the time being as I take on the next chapter of an already incredible life.