Reddit Stories - Betrayed Hearts Unveiling Family's Dark Secrets ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 47

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayal #familydrama #darksecrets #emotionalturmoil #relationships  Summary: In Episode 47 of "Betrayed Hearts," family members confront hidden truths and dark secrets that threaten to unravel their bonds. As emotions run high, revelations about betrayal lead to intense discussions, forcing each character to reevaluate their relationships and the impact of their choices on one another.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, familysecrets, emotionalconflict, relationshipadvice, storytelling, drama, podcast, personalstories, truthrevealed, familydynamics, conflictresolution, heartache, introspection, lifechoices, narrative, humanexperienceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. My boyfriend failed to mention that his colleague was a former flame, and it was only after stumbling upon intimate pictures that I realized the truth. I informed him that we could reconcile if he agrees to sever ties. With her completely. I started dating my boyfriend, Jeff, 10 months ago. This relationship has been amazing so far and I definitely see a future with him.

There's just one problem, he has a weird relationship with his ex that's starting to make me really uncomfortable and suspicious. When we started dating, he often talked about his best friend, Jenna, who he also owns a business with. He made it pretty clear that she was an important person to him. I knew they had spent vacations together and he mentioned hanging out with her parents a few times, too. A few weeks after I met him, I creeped through all his pictures on Facebook, because who doesn't do that with someone they just started dating and saw a bunch of very couple Y pictures of him and Jenna. I also found her Instagram and looked through it and it's filled with pictures of Jeff. A bunch of them had the hashtag hashtag relationship goals and other similar things.

So in this way, I figured out that they had dated. I kept waiting for him to tell me that himself, but he never did. About two months after we started dating, I straight up asked him if he had dated her, and he admitted it. He said that they had met in school and had similar ideals and ambitions. They dated for nine months and broke up a year and a half ago. I asked him why they'd broken up, and he said their relationship was awful and they worked much better as friends. They started their business after they broke up and things have, apparently, been going well between them since then. I started to get kind of suspicious about her, though, when time passed and I still hadn't met her. I met his friends and family pretty soon after we started dating, but I didn't meet Jenna.

I went to numerous social events that I'd expect her to be at, but she was never there. There were a number of occasions when our paths almost crossed and I really thought I was going to meet her, but I never did. For example, I went to their office a few times to meet Jeff after work, and Jenna was already gone. Or sometimes I'd come to meet him and he'd come outside to meet me so I wouldn't have to go inside. Things started to get really weird about three months ago. Jeff and Jenna were having an open house night one evening. Jeff came over to my place after work and we had a few hours to kill before it was time to go, so we went out for dinner and then walked to the office.

I was kind of expecting that I'd come in and help them set up, but when we were a block away, he started asking me if I had lots of work to do and saying there was a really nice coffee shop nearby. He actually walked me to the coffee shop and sat me down, then left to go get ready with Jenna. He told me to come to the office in an hour and a half. About half an hour before I left for the office, I texted Jeff and said I hoped everything was going well

and asked if there was anything I could do. He replied and said, Something's come up for Jenna and she can't be here tonight. I was getting really suspicious at this point. I went to the office half an hour later and sure enough, Jenna wasn't there. People kept asking about her all night and Jeff told them she'd had a family emergency.

When we walked back to the car later that night, he told me what happened. While he and Jenna were getting ready, she had had a panic attack and said she was scared to meet me. She said she wouldn't be able to handle it and either had to leave, or he had to tell me not to come. He told her to leave, so she did. Since then, a couple more weird things have happened, and I still haven't met Jenna. Once, when I was hanging out with Jeff, we went to the office so he could grab something. When we were almost there, he looked at his phone and said, Jenna is still there. Let's just go for a walk.

So we walked around the block for half an hour and then came back when she was gone. After that happened, I told Jeff I felt really uncomfortable with the situation. I could respect that they were friends who had dated, but the way she was acting about me was very suspicious. He apologized and said he had actually been really mad at her, but wasn't sure what to do. He also told me a couple other weird stories about things she'd done. He went to a party a few weeks ago, I didn't go, and his phone had died that night. When he got home and charged his phone, it was full of texts from Jenna saying she was outside in her car and asking if I was there or not. She actually never even ended up going to the party, simply because she didn't know if I was there or not.

Now here's the kicker, Jeff and Jenna are currently on a two-week-long camping trip. They've been planning this trip since before I met him, but considering the way she's behaved, I feel very uncomfortable about him being on this trip. I just looked at her Instagram and she's posted five new pictures of him. As awesome as Jeff is, I'm really fed up with this and I'm seriously considering breaking things off when he gets back. Am I being unreasonable? comments where OP has replied, Glitterland, you're not being unreasonable at all.

And I can understand why you feel so upset about the whole situation. If I were you, I'd be asking Jeff a few questions. Does he know the root issue of why she doesn't want to meet you? Is she like this with anyone else? Explain to him that the situation is upsetting you and that you aren't comfortable with him going on a two-week vacation with her. She is, after all, his ex-girlfriend and the whole thing strikes me as a little strange. Maybe you could talk about meeting Jenna with Jeff present in a quieter, mutual place like a cafe or a restaurant. If Jeff was my boyfriend, I'd be looking for answers.

Best of luck to you and please post an update. Boop, it's kind of reassuring to hear that other people don't think I'm being unreasonable. I have actually asked him if he knows why she's being like this, and he says, says he's asked her the same thing and hasn't gotten a clear answer. He said he's asked her if she still has feelings for him and she said no. They're actually already on their trip, so there's not much I can do about it at this point. I think I'll try probing him a bit more when he gets back and see if he might know a bit more than he's telling me about her behavior.

Jiltrow, you're not only not being unreasonable but you have put up with way AI more than most other people would have. I would have noked out of there when I found her Instagram and realized he didn't tell you that he had dated her. Not to mention all the crazy over-the-top nonsense she's pulled since. And he is going on a two-week long trip with this girl? Oh God, so much nope. Oop, well, I'm glad that at least I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird. I kind of feel like I probably would have called it off already if he wasn't so great in other ways.

This is seriously the best relationship I've ever had. But the whole Jenna situation is really over the top. Why wasn't Oop on the camping trip or why wasn't it cancelled? I have to work and I was never invited. As far as why it wasn't cancelled? Good question. Update, I wrote my previous post over a year ago, and a lot has happened since then. I wanted to give everyone an update, since the advice on this sub was really helpful.

at the time. For a few months after I wrote my op, nothing much happened. Jeff and I continued dating, and he continued being friends slash partners with Jenna. I never met her, but everything else in our relationship seemed to be going so well that I decided I'd try to deal with it. Things got really hard, however, when I had to take a work contract 12 hours away from home for three months. I hardly saw Jeff the whole time, and I looked at Jenna's Instagram almost every day to see if she'd posted more photos of them together. More often than not, she had. Since I wasn't physically present, I felt like Jenna was his real girlfriend.

I felt completely worthless and constantly stressed out, knowing my boyfriend was spending all his time with another woman who I already had suspicions about. While I was away for work, I decided to break up with Jeff. I broke up with as soon as I came back, and I made it very clear that his relationship with Jenna was in talk. for me. I told him he was going to have a hard time dating anyone who wasn't her as long as she was still in his life. He kept saying he didn't understand why it was such a problem. He told me he

couldn't control her behavior, but he promised me he hadn't cheated on me. I explained to him that by allowing their friendship to continue, he was condoning her behavior. I told him I didn't really even care if he'd physically cheated or not, since he'd already shown disrespect for me and our relationship. I didn't speak to him for a few months and I went on with my life. I took another contract out of town and even considered moving permanently to another city. One night, though, Jeff called me and apologized. He said he had been thinking about our relationship a lot and realized he had been in the wrong. He said his relationship with Jenna was beginning to feel toxic to him, and he'd made arrangements to dissolve their business

partnership. After that, I decided to meet up with him, not necessarily give him another chance, and discuss the situation further. When we met up, he promised to stop talking to Jenna and unfollowed her on all social media. As of now, he has not spoken to her in six months, and we've gotten back together. We actually ran into her at a concert a few weeks ago, and they didn't even say hi to each other. I feel much more respected and confident in my relationship now. Next story, X dumped me because I couldn't give her a luxury lifestyle, then married a rich guy who turned out to be a sieve. She started calling me daily for help. My friends think I'm an odd for blocking my ex who is married, because she keeps calling

and messaging me. I wanted to ask if what I'm doing is right or if I should keep in touch with her. I dated Lisa for four years, and we broke up two years ago. Lisa told me she didn't see her. She didn't a future with me and wanted to call things off. There were many reasons, and I knew it was coming. Lisa came from a wealthy family, and we met in college. Our relationship was great during the college years. However, after we graduated and got jobs, it became clear to her that I would never be able to provide the lifestyle she was used to. She hated the small apartment we rented because I wanted to pay off my student loan quickly, and she resented that I couldn't afford to take her on nice vacations. It sucked, but I couldn't blame her.

I loved Lisa deeply, but I also knew she deserved the life she wanted. After we broke up, we still had lingering feelings and stayed friends for few months. We had mutual friends and would meet regularly. I never hated Lisa, in fact, I cherished the memories of the four years we were together. But I was also acutely aware that we came from different worlds and that she shouldn't have to settle because of me. Still, it was hard to let go completely, and sometimes I wondered if I'd ever truly get over her. We drifted apart after Lisa started dating a family friend. I met him a few times at parties, he knew Lisa and I had dated, and though he was polite, I started avoiding her and focused on work.

Eventually, I moved to another city and lost touch with Lisa. I heard from mutual friends that she got married six months ago. I wasn't invited to the wedding, but I was happy for her. I also dated someone briefly last year, but right now, my career is my main focus. That's what I need to believe. Three weeks ago, out of the blue, I got a call from an unknown number, it was Lisa. She started with small talk, and we caught up on each other's lives. She told me about the new house she and her husband had just bought and how busy she'd been.

I told her about my work and my new life. It was nice, like catching up with an old friend. She gave me her new number, and the call lasted about 20 minutes. Although I found it odd, I figured she might have thought about me and decided to reach out. The next day, she messaged me and sent a few photos of her new house. I complimented her on them. Two days later, she called me again, saying she was driving and thought about chatting. We talked about my new city, my new friends, and even gossiped about our old mutual friends.

Then, she started sending me photos from a recent party where they all met up. Over the next two weeks, Lisa began calling me almost every day. I ignored most of her calls, but she always said she had free time and wanted to talk. She started sending me TikToks, memes, and messages, initiating conversations all the time. At first, I brushed it off, thinking she was just being friendly, but it felt wrong, Lisa is married, and I shouldn't be talking to her so frequently. The more she reached out, the more unsettled I became. Was she unhappy in her marriage?

Was she just lonely? Or was I reading too much into it? Last Friday, I finally messaged her, saying that it felt inappropriate for us to talk so often, given that she's married now. She replied almost immediately, saying there's nothing wrong with us being good friends, like before. I didn't want to continue, so I told her we needed to stop talking for a while because I needed to focus on work. After that, I blocked her number. She called our mutual friend Jess, crying about how I was rude and blocked her. Jess told our other friends, and some of them called me, saying I was being unreasonable to treat Lisa that way and cut her off.

I don't understand how no one sees that it's wrong for Lisa to call her ex when she's happily married after more than a year of no contact. It doesn't make sense. But maybe I'm the one who's missing something. Am I being unreasonable with Lisa, or was it right for me to block her for both our sakes? And if I'm right, why do I still feel so conflicted? Update, October 10th, 2024. I had posted a month and half ago regarding going no contact with my ex-girlfriend Lisa after she tried to rekindle our friendship. Lisa married her husband, Jason, six months ago, and I wanted to respect their marriage,

and blocked her after I felt we were crossing a line. My friend was very critical of me because I was ignoring her, and most of you agreed that I did the right thing. Things have been really crazy since then and many of you asked for an update. I wanted to respect Lisa's privacy, but as things settle down, I am again not sure if I am doing the right thing and need advice on my situation. Sorry for the long post, but too many things have happened, and I wanted to get this off my chest. After I blocked Lisa, she called my friend Jess and wanted to talk to me one last time. I, initially declined, but finally came caved in and told her that it would be the last time we would talk.

Lisa called me on Saturday morning and told me that she wanted to talk to me because she needed help and does not know if she can trust anyone. She sounded awful and I had to calm her down before she told me what was going on. Lisa told me that after we broke up, she met her husband Jason within few months. Jason asked her out for a date in front of her mom, and her mom insisted that she at least give Jason a chance. Jason was a charmer, and they quickly became official. Jason was everything I was not. He came from a wealthy family and had everything figured out. He took her on all the vacations I could never afford, and Lisa loved this life where she does not have to worry about things

like loans, money when she was with me. They had a grand wedding, but Lisa told me that things quickly started going south. One night, she was hanging out with Jason's friends and one of his college friends started flirting with her and touched her inappropriately. Lisa was shocked and told Jason immediately. Jason was drunk and told Lisa to loosen up and enjoy the party, and did not confront the friend. As months went by, Lisa found proof that Jason and his friends were doing drugs, and Jason had slept with most of his friend's wives, and it was a common thing in their friend group. She suspects it happened during the time they were dating, and also few times after they were married. She confronted Jason, but he just got mad at her and told her that she is being too uptight.

Things got messy and Lisa told me that there were some instances of physical abuse, thought she did not go into too many details. Lisa wanted to leave Jason and told her mom about it. However, her mom told her that it is too early in their marriage and instead, Lisa should work harder to make Jason happy. so that he does not need to look at other women. Lisa never told any of our mutual friends about this because they all loved Jason, mostly because he paid for all the parties, restaurants, etc. And Lisa just felt very lonely and helpless. That is when she got a burner phone and started messaging me on it.

She apologized to me for getting me involved in her mess, but asked me if I can buy her a ticket to my city so that she can get far away from Jason and everyone and figure out what to do next. She could not buy the tickets because Jason had access to all her cards and accounts, and she could not trust any of her friends back home because Jason might know about it. I was really angry with the whole situation and agreed to help her. I got the tickets immediately and did not email her any details. I only told her the confirmation numbers when packed and reached the airport. She flew to my city and is staying in my guest room.

As expected, hell broke loose as soon as she called her parents to tell them that she has left Jason and is with me. She told them and our friends why she did what she did. However, everyone just thought that we had an affair, and she left Jason for me. Jason was really angry and demanded her to come home where they are done. His parents called her to plead her to come back and talk about things calmly. Her dad refused to talk to her, while her mom flew to my city and we all met. and she told her what happened. Her mom was more worried about their reputation

than what Lisa went though in the last few months. It was just sickening. Lisa is looking for lawyers to file for a divorce and has refused to talk to Jason since she came here. Jason has not made an attempt to visit her and initially sent he a lot of threatening messages. I feel he was advised not to send any more incriminating messages to her, and the messages from him suddenly stopped

and there is radio silence. Lisa is currently living with me for the last month. She has offered to pay me rent, but I have told her to just save up for any legal fees, as it seems her parents might cut her off. Many of our mutual friends still refuse to believe what Jason did, and some feel we are having an affair. Many of them have completely stopped talking to Lisa and me, and even removed us from their socials. Lisa looks like an empty shell of herself. She was the most kind, fun person when we were together. Even though she keeps a brave face, she just bursts into tears randomly.

I feel she has still not told me the whole story on what Jason did to her, but I am just going to be a good friend and give her the space she needs. I, honestly, am not sure how to feel. Everything happened so suddenly, I never had a time to react and think if what I am doing is right. I don't know how I got in a situation where my married ex is now living with me. I cannot kick her out, and I want to be there to support her in such a horrible time. However, a part of me also does not know if what I am doing is right and as she is still a married woman, and I do not want to be labeled as a home wreaker or a cheater. Any advice would be appreciated.

Edit, just wanted to add some context since many of you are asking about it in the comments, Lisa left her main phone home when she left since her husband can track her phone. He was already paranoid that Lisa would leave him, and was tracking all accounts, and Lisa's whereabouts. She did not want to let anyone know she was at my place. However, I insisted that she at least call and tell her parents that she was safe, else they would have thought she disappeared and might have gone to cops to file a missing person report. Jess did not help her because Lisa did not tell Jess or any of our friends about the abuse. All Lisa told me was that she did not trust any of our friends right now, I am still not

sure why and what happened there. However, most of our friends have sided with Jason, and he is spreading a false narrative that Lisa married him for money and waited for six months exactly so that she is eligible for a significant alimony, based on their pre-up. Everyone suspects that we, Lisa and I, plan this whole charade for Jason's money, Lisa left and came me because she wanted to put as much physical distance between Jason and her before she told him that she was leaving him, and of course Lisa and I are not getting back together. I understand the vulnerable position she is in, and I just want to make sure

she is safe. Finally, what are my future plans? I am taking one day at a time. I luckily have a very well-paying job now and do not have to worry financially supporting her for a short time. However, I do understand Lisa cannot live with me forever and we need to figure out something as soon as things settle down. Comments where OP has replied, commenter one, whoa, what a wild ride. Although it seems like you made the right decision in blocking her at first, I'm happy you were able to intervene and support her during her difficult time. It's terrible when people put their reputation before the welfare of others.

I'm sending Lisa my best wishes and hoping that everything turns out. well for her in the end. Oop, it is just crazy to see Lisa go through so much in the last few months, and no one is standing in her corner. I also hope she finds strength. Comment her too, okay, she should not be living with you. You are not her savior. Maybe what she's telling you is true and maybe it's exaggerated to gain your sympathy.

She needs to end her marital relationship and deal with her baggage from that before jumping back in with you. All of the reasons she threw you over for her husband still exist. She is still married. Period. She can go live with her parents. If he has money and she doesn't, it could be a long messy divorce. Step back and let her deal with her crap. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse covertly erased a communication from my folks regarding assuming control of their company half a dozen years back, she only admitted to it after the they inquired about it recently. I, 35M, have been married to my wife Rebecca, 32F, for almost six years now. We'd been together for almost four years before we got married.

And now, we even have two beautiful daughters together. Both of us have lived in Oregon all our lives and since we live in a relatively small town, everybody knows everybody. And we'd been friends since we were kids. We didn't even go to college out of state and and opted for the nearest one and that's how we became friends and eventually got into a relationship. Our families also got along pretty well together, until they suddenly didn't because of my parents. For context, my parents stopped talking to me out of the blue just a month before my wedding. And even at the wedding, they were in no show which was really shocking. As far as I was concerned, we didn't have any fights or any incidents that could have possibly

led to my parents giving me the cold shoulder like that for no reason. It's like one day, they were just gone for my life and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get them back anymore. They blocked me and just disappeared from my life without any explanation. I tried several times to contact them but I was blocked online, so I even visited them at their house but their neighbors told me that they'd moved out and didn't think that they were going to be back anytime soon. This happened exactly one month before our wedding and I was pretty stressed out because I had no idea where they were. It was only at my wedding reception that I realized where they were because I'd been talking to a couple of my relatives on my mother's side, and they told me all about their move. They told me that my parents had moved to Seattle, so they could take over my mother's uncle's business.

My parents had been working in management for a while, so this was obviously a massive opportunity for them and I was glad that they took it up. But at the same time, I was pretty disappointed that they didn't think it was important to talk to me before making this huge decision. I was even more upset by the fact that they'd asked a cousin of mine to take over the marketing department of the company and not me, even though they knew that I had an interest in the field and was looking to start something of my own. That company could have been the perfect opportunity for me to get groomed and trained under my parents so that I could eventually take over. just like my parents were taking over for their uncle. I felt like they were depriving me of a huge opportunity on purpose and I decided that I wasn't going to try and talk to them anymore either because what they'd done was really selfish and stupid, in my opinion.

Rebecca was also on my side and agreed with my decision. She even said that my parents not showing up at my wedding told me everything that I needed to know about how much they cared for me. That was six years ago and since then, I haven't talked to my parents. I didn't even contact them when Rebecca got pregnant for the first time, and not even when our first daughter was born. I often put up photos of my family online and we had a lot of relatives following us, so I knew that my parents would get to know me somehow.

But they still never made an effort to get in touch with us. I was very bitter about this for a long time. But after my second daughter was born about two years ago, I began to feel like I needed to let this age-old feud go, and made up my mind that if my parents ever bothered to contact me in the future, I would talk to them. Even if it was just to get to the bottom of why they'd abandoned me here. And they finally reached out to me a couple of weeks ago. I knew that their business was doing really well and they were planning to expand and open up a branch here, in Oregon, as well. I'd heard from a couple of relatives that they were planning to move back here, after almost

six years of working out of Seattle. And if they were going to move back home, I don't think they could avoid confronting me. So they reached out to me online and informed me that they were coming back and they really wanted to talk to me. They weren't going to move down here permanently for a couple of weeks because they still had a lot of loose ends to tie up back at work but they could visit for a day or two. So we decided to meet for lunch one day after a short conversation online. This happened almost two weeks ago. At lunch, they seemed really happy to. see me and it was as if no time had passed at all. I showed them pictures of their granddaughters

and they almost started crying tears of joy and told me that they could never forgive me for keeping them away for so long and never even bothering to fly out to them. I was extremely confused by that allegation because as far as I was concerned, they were the ones who abandoned me here and left without an explanation. So they couldn't say that to me and blame me for keeping them away. I reminded them that they were the ones who left and blocked me everywhere without even leaving an address for me to find out where they were, so I could go see them. Then my mother told me that she'd sent me an email, just in case I changed my mind. And Rebecca was supposed to pass on that message to me, even after all the horrible things

that I had said to them. By then, I was really confused because I'd never said anything horrible to my parents like they were accusing me of, and neither had Rebecca passed on any message to me. So my father told me about an incident that had taken place all those years ago and was actually the reason that they left without a word. Apparently, the day that my parents received the call from my mother's uncle, saying that he wanted them to come to Seattle so they could check out his business and come to a decision regarding whether they'd be willing to take over or not because he was going to retire soon and he needed somebody responsible. My mother had worked with her uncle for a couple of years when she was younger but had moved away after she got married. But her uncle had still held a spot for her, in case she wanted to come back to work for him later. My mother thought it was the right time and so she said yes without a second thought. They called me very excitedly to inform me of this and asked me if I wanted to join them as well

because they knew that I was working in the marketing department at a firm here, but they thought it would be better for me to work with them instead and I could eventually take over as well. The only issue was that business was based out of Seattle and we'd have to move. but it was still possible because I was getting married in a month and we didn't have kids or anything yet, so we just could move along with them and start afresh there. Unfortunately, it was Rebecca who answered their call because I wasn't at home that day and I'd forgotten my phone at home because I thought I was going out with friends after a really long time.

Rebecca told my parents that she would inform me as soon as I came back home and my parents were satisfied with that. But about an hour later they received a text from me, where I'd said that I was wasn't going to let them ruin my marriage by misleading me with some slimy little job offer that I didn't even need. The text also said that apparently, my parents had been against Rebecca from the very first day and wanted her out, which is why they were trying to buy me out with the enticing idea of a new business. There were a lot of curse words in the text, directed toward my parents, which took them by shock because I wasn't one to talk to them that way, especially

because they were actually doing a good thing for me. They were shocked. They were shocked that and angry, but despite that, they still left me an email with their new business address and told me that I could find them there, in case I changed my mind and decided to act less insane. But they still blocked me everywhere else because the things that I'd said to them were unacceptable and unforgivable. They took a flight out to Seattle a couple of days later and by then, it was too late for me to go and visit them. I tried several more times to see them but they were just never at their house and I could never just get the timing right. And then, I learned where they were from my relatives at the reception and quit trying to contact

them at all. So we just ended up never speaking again. After that discussion with my parents, I realized that there had just been a huge miscommunication and they seemed to understand as well. We didn't want to admit it at the time, but we knew deep down that Rebecca had everything to do with this. So I ended the lunch with my parents hastily and abruptly, so I could go back home and talk to Rebecca instead. They were quite okay with it and so, I left as soon as I could. Thankfully, our kids were spending a day with Rebecca's parents and when I came back home, it was just me and her.

I hadn't told her earlier that I'd gone to meet my parents for lunch because I had this feeling that she didn't really like them and wouldn't approve of it if she knew that I was meeting them. But as soon as I came back home, I decided to cut to the chase and asked her point-blank why she had never given me the message that my parents had left for me. She pretended to be confused for a while and told me that she didn't know what I was talking about but I didn't back down and pressed on. I asked her if she deleted the texts and the email from my phone as

well. Then she finally stopped pretending and turned around to confess that she had indeed done all of those things that I was accusing her of. But she didn't seem sorry about it in the least and instead told me that she'd done it all for my own good. More than devastated that my wife had been keeping such a huge secret for me for so many years, I was just pissed that she didn't even seem sorry about it. And somehow seemed to think that she'd done me a favor or something. She continued and told me that back then, she was the one who replied to my parents' messages, pretending to be me,

and said all those things that she believed were true. She told me that she'd always felt like my parents didn't really, approve of her because she wasn't as driven and ambitious as the rest of the people in my family. She was the kind of person who went to college for fun and for the experience, but afterward, she had no intention of working on a career for herself and only wanted to get married and have kids, not that there's anything wrong with that. But she told me that she thought my parents were judgmental and didn't like her, which is why they were trying to get me to move to Seattle with them just a month before my wedding, so I would ditch her and choose the business instead. She told

me that she had deleted all those messages and that email so I wouldn't change my mind about the wedding. She also didn't want to move to Seattle because she couldn't afford to leave her friends and family behind and start over in a new place where she didn't even know anyone. I snapped at her when she said that because to protect her own relationships, she'd ruined two of my most important ones. It was completely unacceptable, what she'd done. And I couldn't believe that she was even trying to defend it. For the record, my parents had never been judgmental of her and actually loved Rebecca like their own. So I didn't even know where she got that notion that they didn't like her or approve of her lifestyle choices. And even if she felt that way for some reason,

she could have just talked to me and I would have done something to make her feel better. But instead, she went behind my back, and not only did she ruin my relationship with my parents, but she also destroyed any chances that I had at work on my own terms in an area that I was comfortable with and forced me to stay here and work in a firm where there was hardly any scope for growth, for years on end. After my daughters were born, I couldn't even quit my job and do something for myself because I couldn't risk my financial stability now that I had two kids to think of. So thanks to her, I ended up wasting several years of my life in a dead-end job, when I could have been working with my parents and growing a business that I would eventually be able

to take over and turn into my own. I was really upset and we got into a huge fight that day, but she just refused to apologize for anything that she'd done and kept insisting that she only wanted to do what was best for me. I didn't understand how any of this was the best for me and to me, it sounded more like she just wanted to do what was the best for her or whatever she thought was the best for me. I wasn't a child and I really feel like I should have been allowed to come to a decision on my own. Even if it was the wrong decision and even if it was the worst decision that I could have made at least it would have been mine and I wouldn't have any regrets about it. I deserved to at least know about this offer that my parents had for me and she should

have had enough faith in me to know that I would make the right call and I would never desert her. But she didn't trust me and decided to take things into her own hands, which just messed everything up for both of us. But most importantly, it messed up the relationship that I had with my parents and they ended up missing so many important milestones of my life, which I wanted them to be a part of. Like my daughter's birth and she, no matter how hard she tried, couldn't bring that moment back anymore. I could just join the business now, but those significant moments that I lost with my parents are just forever gone and there's nothing that we can do about it. So if not anything else, then the least she could have done was

apologize for that. But she just didn't think that anything she did was wrong and refused to apologize for any of it. That entire fight was so frustrating that I ended up leaving the house and driving to a hotel so I wouldn't have to talk to her anymore because I was just that frustrated with her and everything that she did, mostly her refusal to acknowledge her mistakes and accept them. I put in my two weeks' notice at work that very evening and made up my mind that now I was going to join my parents and finally work in an environment that was actually conducive and didn't make me feel like it was sucking away at my soul. I didn't think about informing Rebecca about it just like she hadn't bothered to inform me about so many things that she thought

I didn't deserve to know. She tried to call me several times after I left, but I just turned my phone off. Because I really didn't want to talk to her at that point and decided to watch a TV show and drink some wine instead. For the next two days, I didn't talk to her at all, but I really felt like I needed to see my kids. So I would drop in at home from time to time to meet them but would ignore Rebecca and her attempts to get me to talk to her throughout. It wasn't easy, because she just kept going on and on and tried to convince me that she was somehow not the bad guy here. But my parents were, for bringing up a secret that she had managed to hide from me for so long, and said that they were still the ones trying to ruin our marriage, even when things were going

so well for us. By us, she obviously meant her, because things were going that great for me. My income was decent but I hated my job and I hated working at that firm even more. Because it was just so boring and mundane, and nobody ever appreciated any new ideas. But all Rebecca cared about was the money, and as long as that was coming in, she didn't care about how I felt. In the past, there had been several instances where she even talked me out of looking for other jobs or starting my own business because she wanted a stable life. I didn't blame her for that, but it was just selfish to the core and the fact that she kept blaming everybody but herself made it even worse. So a couple of days ago, when I was visiting in the evening to see the kids, she started

ranting once more about how I was letting my parents take the steering wheel in our relationship and told me that I needed to think for myself. I couldn't take it anymore and told her that I finally was thinking for myself and she was just mad that I wasn't being her little puppet anymore. She didn't like that and finally, asked me a question which is probably what made me come here. She admitted that she'd lied to me in the past, but then she asked me if I was happy with the life I had or not. She went on to say that if she hadn't lied to me, then I would have probably taken up my parents on that offer all those years ago. And then, we probably would have had to

cancel our wedding because I would want to move to Seattle and there was no way that Rebecca was ready to make such a huge move and leave all her friends and family behind. And if we didn't get married, then I would never have the two daughters that I have now and my life would be completely different. She asked me if that was really what I wanted and that made me pause and rethink everything a little because I didn't know how to answer that question. So I just didn't reply to her and came back to the hotel. It's been a couple of days since then and I haven't had enough courage to go back home yet. So far, I didn't have a plan on what to do after this and I just figured that I would go back home once she apologized.

But now I just don't know what to do anymore. I do love my daughters a lot and I think they make my life infinitely better. I also love Rebecca, in spite of everything. And it wasn't as if the past couple of years were all bad because I did have my good times, even at my workplace. Having said that, I truly don't know how to answer Rebecca's question and I found myself actually reconsidering everything. I haven't talked to my parents about all of this yet, because we're trying to keep conversation light. And my friends have no clue what's going on. So I'm here on Reddit, hoping that I find some answers. Ida for getting upset with my wife for never passing on a message that my parents left for me. Update 1, I finally talked to my parents about

this and they had just one thing to say, that Rebecca, no matter what the consequences were, should have been truthful and transparent with me. They also clarified that they'd only ever had one conversation about what Rebecca wanted to do in the future. Where my mother had told her that she, being a working woman herself, would never discourage another woman from pursuing her own dreams. So if Rebecca was holding back on account of them, she didn't have to and my parents told her that they would be supportive of her decision, no matter what it was. For some reason, Rebecca thought that this was my parents being judgmental because she didn't want to work and only wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. It was a ridiculous conclusion to jump to, especially without even bothering to talk to them about this. In fact, I've kind of lost any respect that I had for Rebecca and now I can't imagine myself going back to living with her anymore.

It's been almost a week since we last met and she hasn't tried to contact me, since she probably thinks that she totally owned me with that one. question. The truth is, I might be happy with how my life turned out, but that's only because Rebecca shut a door that she wasn't even supposed to, and decided for me without consulting with me. Who knows how much happier I would have been had I been allowed to make that call for myself? The credit for my life turning out the way that it did goes to me, not to her. She might have given me two beautiful daughters, but she can't use them as leverage against me, not in this situation at least. After talking to my parents, I think I have a lot more clarity on what to do now. Even if I forgive Rebecca, I hardly think that I can continue with this marriage because I just

won't ever be able to trust her or look at her the same way again. It's not even just about the business anymore, it's about her lying to me and then acting as if she did the right thing. I can't put up with that sort of behavior and I really shouldn't have to. I've had a really hard time coming to this decision, but I think that a divorce is the only way forward for me right now. Update 2. So, I filed for divorce a day ago and I honestly feel so relieved and strangely free. It's been hard because I don't get to speak to my kids since I haven't been back to my house for a while, but I really missed them. I've been considering popping in for maybe just 15 minutes, but I don't know how Rebecca is going to take it, so I've been avoiding my family altogether.

It's not the right thing to do, but I just don't know what else I can do. It's just a couple of days more that I have to go without my kids because after that, Rebecca will be served with the divorce and then we'll see what happens after that. Update 3. So, the divorce proceedings have started and it's weird because Rebecca actually took the news of the divorce a lot better than I thought she would. I've been a little busy for the past couple of days so I hadn't been able to post any updates. But when Rebecca found out that I'd filed for divorce, she called me and told me that she knew

this was coming. And the only thing that she wanted from me was a promise that I wouldn't demand full custody of our daughters. I promised her that because no matter what would have happened or how bitter the divorce would have been, I never would have taken our kids away from their mother. She might have messed up as a wife, but she was a great mom and I couldn't deny it. It's been a while and we are at the negotiation stage right now. We're trying our best to be cordial and civil to each other, but I can tell that both of us are pretty heartbroken. Neither of us had ever imagined that this was how our marriage would come to an end, but well, it's happening and it's not easy. Update 4. Quick update here, after almost seven months.

The divorce is final now and the custody arrangement has also been worked out. I've joined my parents in their business and since they're opening up a branch here, I'm going to be taking over as the head of that. branch. I get the kids for half of the week and Rebecca gets to keep them for the other half. She got a little too much alimony for my taste but it's all over now, so I guess I'm cool with it. What matters is that I'm going to have my dream job and finally live life on my own terms now. I hope you enjoy this story. Altered my marriage date due to my siblings trip, then she became pregnant and insisted I reschedule once more. When I declined, she threatened to change her way.

wedding day. A heartbeat. So I'm in a bit of a weird situation, my fiancé and I aren't the most traditional and wanted to have our wedding as more of a family vacation with the bonus of a wedding. My parents have a beautiful lake front house that we decided to have our wedding at. When we were initially planning our wedding and figuring out dates, I wanted to have it on June 26. The 26th was important to us because that's the day my fiancé and I first met, but when speaking it over to my family, my sister said no because she already had a vacation on that date. I was sad but it wasn't the end of the world so we decided on June 4th to June 9th. Everything was working out perfectly, I let both of our families know to put our wedding down

for those date and started wedding planning. It was all perfect until last night. I got a face time from my dad who showed me the ultrasound and I was super excited. All of the congratulations, jumping around because I'm going to be an air. auntie. I'm so excited for them and for my future niece or nephew. But it all came crashing down when I asked my sister when she is due and she said May 1st, so we're going to have to talk about your wedding. I assumed she just meant that she wasn't going to be able to be in attendance. So I told them that it's okay we can just facetime them in and her jaw dropped. Then my mom said we can just push it back to September. I knew my emotions would get the best of me so I said

we can talk about it later so we to congratulations and thinking of baby names. After the call I can't lie I had a bit of a breakdown. I already moved my dates once to accommodate my sister, which was all fine and I didn't push back on it. But after seven months of planning our wedding around this date and having my fiancé family plan around it, I don't want to change it. Unfortunately, I know my family and they will push for me to move it and will disrespect my decision not to. I know traveling with a newborn baby is going to be hard, which is why I offer up FaceTiming like that's offensive to them to not want my sister to be present at the wedding. I feel so insanely guilty about being upset over having to change my wedding dates because my sister

is pregnant. She's bringing a beautiful new family member into our lives, but I'm still a bit heartbroken that if I don't change the wedding date that I will be seen as inconsiderate and an asshole in my family. So am I the asshole for not wanting to punch me? back my wedding because my sister is pregnant. Comments where Op has replied, commenter, NTA, I'd move it back to the 26th because that's the day that matters to you and your fiancé. Now she'll only want to go if she can bring the baby or she'll probably try and get you to move it even further saying so she's not traveling with a newborn. Obviously people are going to be upset no matter what you do or don't do, but all that really matters is you and your fiancé

because the moment y'all are married you're each other's main. Priorities and no one else should matter when it comes to what you both want. Oop, I'm very scared of that, since she is going to be a first time mama we don't know if she's going to have PPD slash PPA or if baby is going to have colic. I'm scared that if I do push back our wedding to August or September and then she still can't make it slash wants us to push it back even further I will resent and distance myself from her. I love my sister so much, but she is definitely the type of person where it is her way or the highway and my parents just go with it because that's just how she is commenter.

Tell us why our sister is the golden child without saying it up. My sister is the golden child of the family. It's not really a secret or try to be hidden. She's extremely involved in the family, visits them every weekend. Well, I live across the country so I only visit them typically once a year but do face-time them regularly. My parents are also very money-driven and my sister is a doctor in comparison. to my brother and I who do trades.

She's the definition of the perfect child. She also typically plans all trips, vacations, or outings for my family because she's extremely type A and likes to have control situations. She's a bit stubborn and likes things her way or not at all. We've always just gone with it because it's easier. I expected my wedding to be the line, but I guess not. NTA, remind the family that it's not just your family that's being impacted by their push to move the dates and that those specific dates are the only ones that work for both sides.

Then tell them that no, you will not move the dates to accommodate your sister again, since you already did it once. Oop, I plan on speaking to them soon about it and putting my foot down on my date. I wanted to give it some time to let emotions settle because my parents did just find out that they're going to be grandparents for the first time and seem to want to protect and side with her. I also spoke to my brother about it and he is on my side. I asked him to be there during the conversation to try and explain things from my point of view if my emotions do get the best of me.

Moving my wedding to September is out of the question because it won't work for my fiancé's family with school schedules and they have already been planning around the current date. Update 1, so a lot has happened in the past few days. I called my brother the day after I made my post, he understood where I was coming from and told me that I should absolutely not change my wedding date. So since I was worried about speaking to my mom and being ganged up on we planned on when to speak to my mom about not wanting to change my fiancés and I's wedding date so he could be there to talk to my mom on my behalf and my emotions got the best of me. That didn't happen, my mom called me the next day to talk it over. I informed her that I was not going to change my wedding date and she was upset initially but surprisingly receptive to it.

I was extremely happy about that until she said you need to talk to your sister about this because she's not going to be happy about being forced out one month postpartum I explained I wasn't expecting slash forcing her to be in attendance. Then my mom said no she's coming to your wedding I don't care if she's a new mom. After that I got in a bit of an argument with my mom about her forcing my sister to do something that isn't the best for her and her future family. which I ended hanging up on her I don't take being spoken to in a harsh tone easily and will tell the other person to take a minute to re-evaluate their tone and come back. During the call she also let slip that she was also extremely disappointed in me for going to my brother for support instead of her and said I was just creating family drama for no reason.

Which it is what it is, I needed a family perspective which is why I called my brother. I ended up trying to call my sister the next day, which was declined. So I texted her and informed her that I would not be changing my wedding dates it was a lot longer of a text explains reasons and emotions. She replied a day later with you and I both know that your wedding dates aren't officially set and the only factor would be communicating the change to fiancé's family. I hope the hassle is worth having my and your literal niece or nephew's presence. I explained that I have already ordered slash put money down on multiple things as well as having

my fiancé's family planning slash accommodating around this date for seven months. She was not receptive in my opinion and said there are really no excuses. You have the power to move the date even just a little later in the summer to include me and you're choosing not to. That hurts. Which I ended up responding that I'm not choosing to not have her at my wedding but understand and she may not be able to come and will have to FaceTime and instead. As well as explain that I already moved my wedding date once to accommodate her.

I asked her to try to put herself in my shoes and how she would have felt if I asked to push back her wedding. Which she replied I would have moved my date in a heartbeat. That's the difference between us. At that point I decided to offer up pushing it back to the 26th of June as some comments said to see if she would still be going to her previously planned vacation. which thank God I did because she told me she couldn't do the 26th that she's still going to go on her vacation 20 days after my wedding. I'm not the most knowledgeable about babies since I don't have one and I've only known my BFF's baby,

but I don't feel like there are a huge difference between traveling with a one-month-old and a one-and-a-half-month-old. So that's solidified in my mind that she doesn't care about me slash my fiancé or our feelings, but still expects everyone to accommodate to her. At this point, as per my fiancé's advice, I'm putting it in the effort drawer in my head and I'm not going to stress about it anymore because everyone knows the date is set. If my family would like to show up to my wedding that would be amazing, but if not, I'm not going to be upset. At the end of the day, this will just show me who to prioritize as family in my life because family is not always blood. Update 2, so this update is absolutely comical to me. As I said in my previous update I stood strong and told my family I was planning on keeping my wedding dates

which didn't go well but at least I had my parents support on it. Everything was as calm and relaxed as it could be, my sister hasn't talked to me since the conversation but I figured she was just pissed off at me in dealing with everything involving pregnancy. But getting to the hilarious part of this update, two days ago we got a face time from my fiancé's sister-in-law showing us two positive pregnancy tests. She's due first week of June, aka, when our wedding is, my fiancé and I did all of the congratulations and excitement because once again first grandchild and baby in the family.

After the call my fiancé and I just looked at each other and busted out laughing. Not only is my sister having the first grandbaby on my side, but his sister-in-law is having the first grandbaby on his side all within the month before slash during our wedding. Like what are the chances? My fiancé and I have always had bad luck with planning things aka why we were planning on a relaxed, chill wedding instead of a big extravagant wedding. We had a few minutes convo and it ended up with us agreeing on, in my finances' words

fuck this, let's just elope. So that's exactly what we're doing. Like I said we aren't traditional and honestly we were just doing all of this for our families so they could feel included and have a fun time at the lake house. But with all the babies and nine out of the 14 people who are invited not being able to attend my sister and Bill, her mill and Bill, my fiancé's mom, dad, and little sister, and his brother and sill, why even have the whole wedding thing? So we're going to the courthouse on June 26th, the date that I originally wanted but

wouldn't work with my sister scheduled vacation to go get married. We're going to keep the photographer that we have a deposit down on and just switch from wedding photos to just a couple shoot. We're also still planning on going to the lake house and just take it as a pre-honeymoon. We've already let all of our family know the whole wedding thing is cancelled. My side is relieved and his side is sad because they don't have an opportunity to celebrate us as a couple. But it just wasn't what the universe wanted and will plan something in the next couple of years to get our families all together and celebrate. Maybe one of our anniversary. Honestly, I can't even be upset because it's so

comical that the one major event we've been planning on doesn't work because of everyone getting pregnant and being due around or during our wedding. But at the end of the day we're getting married and getting some adorable little nieces or nephews. This will be my last update because no more wedding means no more drama. Comments where Op has replied, commenter, I get why his brother and Sill can't attend, but why can't the rest of your fiancé's family members attend? Anyways, congrats. I told my BF I'm always down to elope cause a big wedding is more trouble than it's worth for me personally, Oop. I thought we were getting rid of the big wedding drama by just having our direct family

plus four extras there, but it didn't work out that way. Still all the drama so eloping is definitely the right option, L.O.L. The people that can't attend would be my sister and her husband they're having a baby in May. It's their first child and it would be a five-hour drive to get out to the lake house. My sister mother-in-law and brother-in-law, my fiancé, and I got close to them at my sister's wedding trip week long trip in Jamaica, then my soon-to-be Bill and Sill since they are having a baby during our used-to-be wedding dates. His mom, dad, and sister because they would definitely want to at least be close to Bill and Sill while she's having the first grandbaby the lake house is about a 19-hour drive from where they live,

commenter. Have a gathering at the lake house when both kids turn one-year-old. Poop, that's what we're thinking. obviously we learned our lesson about planning stuff out in advance. But I think a combined one-year-anniversary and two one-year-old's birthday celebration would be adorable. Next story, divorced my cheating husband at the age of 53, I finally started taking care of myself but my adult kids are furious, saying I should have done it when it mattered.

Hey, everyone. I, 53F, have been divorced from my ex-husband Larry, 54M, for six years. Larry and I have two adult children, Steve, 27M, and Carla 25F. Larry and I met in college when we were both electrical engineering students. We were both very much on the nerdy side and looked the part, but were very attracted to each other, so I thought anyway. We got married soon after we graduated and both worked as engineers, but after a few years Larry decided he wanted to go to law school, to become a patent lawyer.

In order to look the lawyer part, Larry underwent a major glow-up during this time on pretty much all levels, tailored clothes, fancy haircuts, designer accessories like watches, etc. Along with working out to trade his dad bod for a lean gym bod. During this time, I was having slash raising our small children, while taking care of about 95% of household matters because of his long working hours, all while working full time. I admit I did not glow up along with Larry. My own appearance has always been on the planer side, I'm not overweight but a bit stocky,

5 feet 5 inches slash 140 pounds, simply cut hair, glasses, practical clothes, not much makeup. Larry loved me as is for about the first decade of our relationship, but after he started working as a lawyer, he started to become drawn to more conventionally attractive women and had several affairs. When I pressed for counseling, he said that the issues were things like my big nose and post-baby tummy pooch, not things I could fix with a simple makeover.

I was getting organized to ask for a divorce when Carla was hit by a car while riding her bike. She survived and is fine now, but needed several years of intensive surgeries and rehab. In order to provide a unified front for Carla and Steve, Larry and I agreed to stay married and be as cordial as possible. He continued to see other women during this time, but by this time I was past trying to get him to be faithful. We did separate and divorce, after Carla went off to college. Larry is remarried now to a much younger woman, 33F. In the past couple years, I have actually decided to focus more on myself, including my appearance. Now that my children are grown and out of the house, and I don't have to worry about tiptoeing around a difficult husband,

I finally have time and resources to do so. I didn't get a nose job or other plastic surgery like Larry had wanted, but I did update and color my hair, started working out more, lost about 15 pounds, got a new wardrobe, and actually started dating. I don't have a steady partner yet, but regularly go to age-appropriate singles events and go on dates. Unfortunately, my children detest the new me. In particular, they blame me for the divorce and are angry that I didn't glow up to accommodate Larry, saying I was too selfish and lazy to do so when it mattered. My son Steve is getting married soon, and says he is too angry to invite me to the wedding. Carla has gone low contact with me. I had great relationships with both of them until I started my

own glow-up process a couple years ago, which was a few years after Larry and I finalized our divorce. and Carla have told me that the only way to fix this, the only thing that would be fair, is to go back to the way I was before, meaning stop coloring my hair, dress in my former plain-slash-frumpy way, and stop dating. They say they are most upset about the dating and that it's not fair for me to be looking for a new partner. So, Ada for everything I have done here, for not improving my appearance until after I got divorced? I really don't think Larry would have been faithful to me no matter how much I twisted myself in knots. I felt I did the best I could give in the energy and resources I had, and, while it may seem selfish, I do believe I deserve to have my own life now.

But I am open to other opinions if I have done something wrong here. Additional information from OOP to clarify some things. I appreciate your perspective, but I think there may be some unfair conclusions here. First, where did I ever say I had no sex drive. Our sex life was fantastic for the first decade of our relationship, including after having two kids. It only diminished after he decided he had other attraction preferences as he started to rise in the lawyer ranks at his firm. Next, where did I ever say I didn't maintain my appearance? I did, in fact, maintain the appearance I did since college. I said we were both on the nerdy side. I maintained a healthy weight, even after kids, and always looked tidy and appropriate for the

occasion. In my case, the occasion just happened to be my engineering job and my family-slash-household responsibilities. I just didn't have high-end haircuts and designer clothes, etc. Was I a bit frumpy? Probably, as compared to a big firm lawyer with a $500 haircut and regular spa treatments. But I didn't let myself go by changing my appearance for the worse after marriage. Also, I don't think it's fair to say that I didn't improve myself in any capacity during our marriage. I advanced significantly in my career while keeping a warm and loving home, cooking healthy meals, and otherwise raising our kids. Those were my priorities, especially after Carla's accident. I don't think I got what I had coming just for not wanting painful and time-consuming plastic surgery, especially as one of the

big things he wanted me to do was get a nose job when I was already perfectly happy with my nose. If he'd suggested some smaller changes, like updating my hairstyle and wardrobe or even a gym membership, and had broached the idea kindly and had given me time to do these things, I likely would have been more amenable. But as it was he set the bar so high, surgery, that it didn't seem like I could reasonably make him happy. Update, first, thanks so much for everyone who responded to my initial post. I started out trying to acknowledge everyone's responses, but as they grew to the thousands I wasn't able to keep up, I'm so sorry. I did read everything and appreciate your time and thoughts, both for those who offered support and those who had more critical feedback. As a small

update, while I do agree that the behavior of my adult children, Steve, 27M, and Carla 25F, has been extremely judgmental and unkind, to say the least, I am not ready to write them off. I realized that since they started in with their criticisms a couple years ago when I started changing my appearance, I've been very defensive and dismissive. Perhaps that is justified, but as I do want to make every effort to maintain a good relationship with my children, I decided that it would be best to listen with an open mind. This doesn't mean I'm going to go back to my old frumpy appearance to accommodate them, of course not, but just that I am open to hearing what is really bothering them so we can

hopefully talk it out. When I contacted them both to request this, they agreed to have brunch with me this coming weekend, which is a good start. Perhaps the conversation won't change anything, but I'd always regret it if I didn't try, and listening is free. Many of the commenters felt that some info must have been missing from my initial post. I thought I hit all the main points, but can fill in a bit more detail here. For about the first decade of my relationship with my ex-husband Larry, things were really or at least I thought so. As I mentioned, we met in college as electrical engineering students who both had fairly plain and unfashionable appearances by conventional. Honestly, as a nerdy woman I have always been much, much more attracted to nerdy-looking

men than super-polished ones, just a better match for me, I guess. Larry seemed crazy about me from the get-go and I was equally crazy about him. We graduated, both got good engineering jobs, bought a house, and started our family. We had a very warm and loving home, lots of quality intimacy, and frequently hosted our equally nerdy friends for D&D and anime nights. Then Larry decided he wanted to go to law school. Nothing really changed for the first couple years, but the law school career counselors advised him to spruce up his appearance when it was time to start applying for attorney jobs.

Hence his own glow-up began. Even after that, for his first couple years as a law firm associate, he jokingly referred to his new look as his silly lawyer costume and looked forward to coming him to change into his anime t-shirts. I didn't try to match his new appearance because, A, he never asked me to, and, B, initially it seemed like it was just some sort of uniform for him that he was somewhat uncomfortable with. However, this all changed abruptly one night when I was supposed to accompany him to an awards dinner for his firm. Knowing that it was a fancy thing, and that I wasn't the best with fashion, etc., I actually went and got my hair and makeup professionally done and worked with a personal shopper to was a flattering dress and shoes appropriate for the occasion. However, when Larry saw me in this get-up, he suddenly got angry, made lipstick on a pig-type

comments, and threw out the insults about my nose and post-baby tummy pooch. I learned shortly afterwards that he'd started an affair with a colleague, who happened to have a small, pert nose and flat stomach. Even after he was so mean, I was still hopeful that we could get counseling and work through this, but he didn't want to. I will admit I was paralyzed for a while and also didn't want to make any rash moves due to the impact on the kids, and perhaps I could have made better decisions there. But by the time I was actually ready, emotionally and logistically, to proceed with the divorce,

Carla had her accident and I had to shift gears to prioritizing her recovery. On another note, contrary to what some commenters assumed, my post-divorce glow-up had nothing to do with wanting to meet new men. Initially, it was precipitated by having a work-related opportunity to do more high-profile client-facing activities, and I received some gentle guidance from my supervisor that it would be a great time to update my appearance. Hence the new hairstyle, wardrobe, makeup, manicures, etc. In addition, once I hit 50 my A1C started creeping a bit higher, as diabetes runs in my family. Although at 5 feet 5 inches and 140 pounds I wasn't medically overweight, my doctor advised that losing just a few pounds, coupled with some dietary tweaks and changing up my exercise routine, would be a good idea. So I added yoga, Pilates and strength training. to the hiking and cycling I already did, and ended up losing about 15 pounds over the course

of a year. I'd always been physically active, despite some commenters accusing me of being lazy, I just wasn't focused on sculpting my body to look a certain way as opposed to general fitness. Once I slimmed down and updated my look, I did find myself getting a lot more attention from men, so I figured since I'd been single for a few years I might as well lean into it and start dating, but again that wasn't the initial reason. Some commenters asked if I'd spent family money on my makeover and if that might be what was making my children upset. The answer to that is no, Larry and I divided our assets in the divorce. He got the big house we had lived in and paid me for my share which allowed me to buy a much smaller house

and have plenty left. Although, as a law firm partner, he makes about 10x what I do, I did not request any alimony beyond my 50% of our assets, which had all been accumulated during the marriage. Anyway, if folks are interested, I can post an additional update next week once I can talk to my children and find out more about what their issue is. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse is employed overseas while I care for our two children at home. I reconnected with a friend from my youth and came close to engaging in a romantic relationship with her. Fortunately, my spouse was understanding and forgave me afterward. I confessed everything.

My wife and I are long distance. She works abroad. I take care of our sons, four and three, and do odd jobs. Originally we lived with her, but our kids ended up put in a dangerous situation and I didn't want that to happen again. Quitting her job wasn't an option in her eyes, so I moved to our home country with the kids while she stayed. She visits us a few times a year.

I moved in with close family friends. It was a hard and painful decision. I had a lot of resentment over my wife prioritizing her job over our family. But I love her. I couldn't imagine not being with her. I thought about divorce, but we decided to try to work things out. The other woman was my friend when we were little kids. After my mother died, I left my hometown and moved in with my dad and didn't see that friend.

But I stayed connected with some other people from the family. that town throughout my life and when I moved back home with the kids I started visiting my hometown more to see my mom's grave and visit my old neighbors. When I met my old friend again I was excited to see her, but I'm nostalgic for everything from my childhood. It started out innocent. I was just happy to have another connection to that part of my life. Anyway, she has a son too who is six, and so we ended up taking our kids to the park together while we had a coffee and caught up. It was innocent and I told my wife I'd reconnected with her and my wife was fine with it. She jokingly asked if she should be jealous, but she didn't mean it. She trusted me.

So I feel so terrible. We met up a couple times a month from then on. I don't really know when it lost its innocence. But I realized I started becoming infatuated with her. We'd hug every time we met up and before we left and I would feel so wistful when she would hug me. She would start talking about how her ex mistreated her and her son and I felt so protective. She started making comments like, My son is so good with your sons, it's like they are brothers. And I talked to her about some of the stuff that bothered me about my relationship with my wife and she sympathized. I realized that I enjoyed the attention and I found myself entertaining fantasies that I was with her instead. I kept thinking about if I had never met my wife and had instead moved back home and

reconnected with my old friend. And we'd somehow had our same kids only with each other. We both could have been happy and been spared so much pain. If I'm trying to be objective, she's a better match for me than my wife. She puts her kids first. She appreciates me for who I am. My wife does too, but I feel like me and the kids are always an afterthought for her. Even when she's home and spending time with us, she is always, always thinking about her job. My wife is a good person and she does good work. But her job traumatizes her and she was already traumatized before she started it. She started doing her job to cope with her past, but she's also retramatizing herself over and over.

and my kids and I pay the price. I'm not trying to justify my actions I'm just trying to explain. My childhood friend was always complimenting me on my looks, how good of a dad I am, my physical strength. It's like she appreciated the unique things about me. And I feel like my wife loved me just because I was there for her. Like she would have loved anyone who loved her and I was just the only one who did. It wasn't always like that, but that's it.

how it started to eventually feel with my wife being so distracted by her job all the time. I didn't really notice it until I reconnected with my friend and noticed the contrast. I should not have let things get that far I know. But at first it was just an occasional thought and I just brushed it off as intrusive thoughts in telling myself, yeah, everyone has inappropriate thoughts, but what matters is your actions. But I just let it go too far. In hindsight some of our friendly banter was really more like flirting and it was not appropriate. That's an action, not a thought.

Anyway, today was a reality check. She said she wanted to talk to me about something serious without the kids there so I let my other friend who I live with babysit and met up with her. And she basically confronted me with the fact that we obviously have feelings for each other and said I should leave my wife for her. But it was like immediately I realized the amount of bullshit I was feeding myself in her. I instantly felt so bad. I didn't deny having feelings, but maybe I should have. She kept insisting I think it over and when she saw how upset I was she said she'd let me think it over then left. I should have told her, no, there is nothing to think over, I love my wife and I'm not leaving her.

But I didn't say anything. That in itself is weighing on me. I need to tell my wife. I know. I just don't even know where to begin. Next time she's coming home is October. I feel like this is the kind of thing to say face to face, but I don't want to wait that long. And I don't want her to come all this way to have a nice time and ruin it.

I could leave the kids with my friends and go visit her. But on top of the money issues and logistical issues even that thought makes me sick. I keep imagining her smiling and being delighted to see me and then how devastated she's going to be when I tell her. I can't stop thinking about her face. I feel sick. I don't want to tell her at all and just never see my childhood friend again. I'm also mad at myself for letting my stupid fantasies ruin a friendship and a precious memory, but I know it would be wrong to keep seeing her and impossible to just be normal friends now.

But I know honesty is the best policy. I owe it to her to be honest. I just don't know what to do. I feel so wrong and stupid. I don't want to tell my friends. I think one of them would be really angry at me for almost cheating and the other might actually encourage me to leave my wife. I feel like I need someone to tell me what to do because I can't process. Edit 1

Okay, the comments are overwhelming and I need to sleep. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to my friends about what's going on and, after being yelled at probably, see if they'll be able to watch my kids while I visit my wife and tell her what's going on. If not, I can probably ask a few other people. If not then I'll just tell her over Zoom. I'm also going to text my childhood friend that I don't want to see her again and then block her. I'm not going to leave my wife. If she leaves me, I'm going to stay single. I'm not going to date my ex-friend.

I will always love my wife and I don't think it would be fair to anyone for me to date anyone else while I still love her. To stop from having to answer the same questions over and over, my wife is an aid worker. She doesn't do it for the money. She does it because she believes God called her to do it. I do gig jobs and sometimes construction. I choose to work more flexibly and spend more time with my kids. I put my wife through college. I'm not freeloading off her, I am kind of free loading off the friend I live with, I'll admit that.

But we're all happy with this arrangement. The reason I left with the kids is because we got carjacked at gunpoint. My wife changes location a lot so living somewhere safe but still closer to her isn't really an option. It's either travel with her officially through her organization or stay put somewhere. I don't think my childhood friend originally intended to cheat with me, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Edit 2, everyone telling me to get a stable job so my wife can come home, you misunderstand. You think my wife and I haven't spoken about this. She is never going to quit her job.

She made that very clear. Her job is her priority. I promise you she's not doing it for the money. I'm not forcing her to do it. by refusing to work more. If she said she would even consider quitting if I found a more stable job, I'd do that in a heartbeat. Anyway, I'd talk stuff over with my friends. They were understanding.

The plan is to fly over and see my wife next weekish, but we still have to make arrangements. I thought about contacting my wife's boss to see if we could do a surprise visit, but it seems like it would be so cruel to show up and surprise her and make her happy to see me only to break her heart. So instead I called my wife saying everyone is okay but I have something bad to tell her that she should hear in person and I'm going to fly out to see her. She said I should just tell her because otherwise she's going to worry about it the whole time. So I almost did. But then she said no, don't tell me. I want to see you.

So I didn't. Update 1. A lot of people ask me for an update, which I will but I have a couple of things to say first. First, I wanted to thank everyone who commented civilly, regardless of your opinion. I especially appreciated hearing from people who had been in a similar situation or in a similar situation to another person I mentioned. I wasn't thinking very straight at the time and I don't think I thanked everyone properly, but it was very kind of you to take the time to share your perspective. The other thing. I should have said something at the time, but a lot of people bashed my wife and I didn't defend her as much as I should have.

have. So I'm going to set the record straight now. First of all, people were saying she was cheating on me. But she would never, ever do that. She is honest and loyal, and a much better person than I am. Second, people were saying my wife is negligent and doesn't care about me or our kids. This is also wrong. She's very loving. Yes, she is busy with her job. But she says she thinks about us every moment. And when she is home, she spends as much time with me and the kids as she can. She does get distracted and think about things at work that stress her out. But that's because she sees things that get to her. It's not because she doesn't care about us. She's not like half the parents out there that ignore their kids because they're distracted by their phone. People were

also bashing me in a way that I think was kind of over the top. But honestly, you can bash me, but don't bash my wife. Me having problems in my relationship doesn't mean she deserves to be bashed. I actually showed the post to my best friend, and she pointed out that a lot of you are probably just being sexist. You attacked my wife and said she didn't care about me or our kids because she doesn't get to see us much. But my friend pointed out that there are a lot of jobs that mostly men do that mean they don't get to see the kids much. And no one says that they don't love their kids and need to quit.

So for everyone who said my wife doesn't love our kids, would you say the same to dads who are in the military, truck drivers, work on oil rigs? Would you say that they're all definitely cheating on their wives? Or tell their wives that they should leave them? If not, you're being sexist. And for everyone who told me to get a better job so my wife can come home, would you say that to a woman who is married to a guy who does one of those jobs? For everyone saying me and my wife shouldn't be married or have kids because she's an aid worker, do you think there shouldn't be any aid workers? Or do you think no aid workers should be allowed to get married and have kids just because of their job?

You realize a lot less people would be aid workers if it meant they couldn't have a family, right? You don't make any sense. Anyway, I saw my wife and told her everything, and we actually had a nice visit. She was glad to see me in spite of everything. And she insisted I not tell her anything bad until after she showed me something. Which was confusing to me, but I agreed. Anyway, it was a little waterfall. and it was beautiful.

She said she visited the waterfall whenever she got a chance and it reminded her of me, and she wished she could show it to me every time. I nearly cried when she said that. I almost couldn't even tell her after that, but I already told her I was going to tell her something bad so I had to. Anyway, we sat there by for a while until she said she was ready to hear my bad news. So, as much as it killed me, I told her everything that happened. She tried to be calm and understanding, but I could tell she was hurt.

I almost wished she would have yelled and slapped me. But she just thanked me for being honest. She asked what I was going to do. I said I wasn't going to stay in touch with my former friend either way, but I hoped she would forgive me and come home to us in October like she planned. She said I was already forgiven and asked me for more details about what exactly happened and my feelings, which I did my best to answer honestly. It was hard, though.

I could tell she was getting more and more upset. Eventually she just said okay and we walked back to her base without really talking at all. That night we talked more. She knows it's hard for me to live the way we do and she just asked me again if I was sure I still wanted to be with her. I told her I knew she wasn't going to quit her job, but I talked about how one of the hardest things is that even when she comes home, her mind is on her job and it's hard to see how sad and stressed she always is. She said she'd bring it up in therapy and try to work on being present in the moment with her family. She kept pressing me on if there was anything else she could do better besides quit her job

and I told her how I felt about how sometimes it seems like she only loves me because I love her and I could be anyone. She cried, apologized, said it's not true, and told me as many specific things she could think of that she loves about me. I did the same for her. She said she was glad we talked and glad I was willing to keep working on our marriage, because from the beginning when I told her I had something bad to tell her in person she just assumed I wanted a divorce. She said she's always worrying I'm going to leave her, but she's grateful for every day I don't. I promised her I don't plan to and told her I worry the same thing sometimes. It was a really good conversation. The other days, I went to her job site with her for a bit and helped out with a few things.

The local kids were teasing my wife about me, which was adorable. Things aren't perfect, but they're going to be okay. Also, I know a lot of people said that my wife should leave me because what I did was as bad as a physical affair. And, confusingly, a lot of people said I did nothing wrong. I think it's somewhere in between. I did something wrong, but I did stop it before it got that far. And a lot of other people say I should divorce my wife. But I'm not divorcing her. She has her flaws, but she's also one of the best people I know. All of her flaws are because she's been through things that I can't even imagine. I chose to love her in spite of the things she can't give me. I will always love her. I will always love her. I

and not someone who can stop loving someone. Even if we divorced I'd think about her and wonder if she was okay every single day. I can't be in a relationship with another person even if I wanted to because I'd never be over her, it wouldn't be fair to them. It's my wife or no one for me. Update 2. Hi. This is sort of an update of my previous posts in this sub. You can see them on my profile. The sub won't let me link them, but it's also a lot of other stuff to get off.

my chest. I made a post here a while ago. It was about how I realized I was in an emotional affair with my old friend while my wife was working in the Philippines. That issue is resolved, my wife forgave me, I haven't spoken to my old friend at all anymore and I'm much more careful with my other female friends. However, some of the comments I got on my last posts have still been weighing on me. And my wife is home now, and she had a lot of big news that I want to off my chest. First, the good news is my wife is pregnant again. And I'm happy about it, in spite of everything. I know. Some people in my last post were asking if I was using protection to avoid bringing more kids into the world. And honestly, no, we didn't. And I didn't want to admit that

for obvious reasons. I don't have any defense for that other than I'm stupid. The other major thing is that my wife probably has OCD. Basically, my wife realized she was late and probably pregnant a long time ago, but originally didn't tell me or take a pregnancy test. She said it was like there were two different people in her head, and part of her was screaming to go get things figured out, but the part of her that actually had control refused to do anything besides carry on as usual. She was too scared to take a pregnancy test and get proof that she was pregnant because she knew she wouldn't be allowed to go on her next assignment because of Zika virus. Basically, it was a lot of screaming at herself to do something about it before she finally

got the courage to tell her therapist what was going on and actually take the pregnancy test. So even though she got pregnant in July, she hasn't had any kind of care or anything yet. Also, I guess she'd been hiding a lot of things from her therapist because she knew the therapist would make her take a break if she knew exactly what was going on in her head. So she wasn't honest with the therapist about how she felt compelled to do this job, how she felt when she wasn't doing it, etc. But she knew she needed to do right by her baby.

So she finally told the therapist about the pregnancy, how she was having such a hard time doing anything about it. And then everything else came out. My wife described to me a bit more about how it feels to be in her head. It's not just that she thinks God wants her to do her job. The way she said it basically, she constantly thinks about all the bad things happening in the world, everything terrible that she's ever seen. Every time she could have helped someone but didn't even if she had a very good reason. And it makes her feel like she has to be working.

She thought all these thoughts were God speaking to her, but she didn't tell the therapist that because she thought she wouldn't understand. She told me when she finally told the therapist, she basically asked her if she thought God was loving. And if so, why God would want her to constantly be thinking about things that made her miserable? That question finally made my wife open to accepting that she might have a mental illness rather than just having God talking to her. She is home now, a couple of weeks earlier than she was supposed to come, so she can get prenatal care ASAP no more in-death mental health assessment. I guess her therapist just thinks she is OCD but can't actually diagnose her or prescribe her medication or anything. I feel so bad for her and like I failed, too. I feel like I should have tried to dig with her more about what she was feeling.

My wife was more open with me than the therapist about her thoughts and I feel like I knew something was wrong. But I assumed she was telling the therapist everything too. And that the therapist was helping to the best of her ability. And as much as I'm happy that I hope this means things are going to be better now, I know my wife feels awful and that makes me feel awful. Basically, she was really devout and religious growing up, but after some stuff happened to her, she kind of lost her faith and felt like if God existed he didn't approve of her.

I met her around then and she was definitely in a very dark place for a while. She says that when she started having her thoughts about how she could fix the world it was really reassuring because she thought she was finally getting her faith back. so it's been pretty crushing for her to not have that feeling anymore. I'm hoping her therapist is able to help her with that as well. My wife doesn't trust religious leaders anymore, so that makes it a lot harder for her to have to go through that. I believe in God, but I don't believe the same things as my wife and I'm less devout than her, so I don't always know what to say.

I have told her I'm so sorry for what she's been going through, and that I'm so proud of her for finally going to her therapist for help even though it was so hard. I told her I'm glad she was open with me and I hope she knows she can rely on me for anything she needs. And I told her I'm sure God knows how hard it was for her to get help and he's proud of her too. That made her cry, I think in a good way. Anyway, she's been home a few days and now and we're just taking things one day at a time. free-natal appointments coming up next week, but we're still trying to figure out the OCD appointment stuff. So far we've just been cherishing the family time as much as possible.

The best news, my wife says when she's done with maternity leave, instead of going back to work she might try to go back to school. She wants to get her master's and learn another language or two, and she says part of the reason for that is that she would have more choices in her assignments and possibly be able to work with refugees. here in the U.S. instead of traveling all over. That way we could find somewhere to live permanently as a family. She says she's not sure yet and she wants to spend some time figuring things out. But I am hopeful for the first time in a long time that we might be able to be happy together as a family someday. I am really just hoping everything turns out positively. I feel bad for being happy, since this is so hard on my wife, but I really hope it'll end up being a positive thing all around in the end. We've told my two closest friends, who we live with, about the new baby,

but no one else yet, except Reddit strangers. My best friend is almost as excited as me. She keeps coming to me talking about gender reveal party ideas. Like, randomly in the middle of talking about the election or whatever. We're keeping it from the kids for just a while. while longer because she's not very far along yet and if God forbid the baby doesn't make it, we don't want the kids to be upset. So I keep telling her to be a little more subtle and she keeps forgetting. But luckily the kids have no idea what she is talking about when she does that. Anyway, that's my big news. Someone asked me for an update and I wanted to clear the air and get some of this stuff off my chest anyway. I hope you enjoy this story. I am a physician. I am a

who had never desired children, but my spouse assured to become a full-time father. However, he had a change of heart following the arrival of our infant, leading to a significant decision. Fight I, 36F, am a neurologist and I absolutely love my patients and my job. I believe there is no greater honor in life than being able to help others. The road to my medical degree was not easy, and it was paved with many rejections. I was a troubled teen in high school and I didn't get accepted into any colleges my senior year. I had to work my way up starting with remedial classes at my local community college.

When I finally got into medical school at 26F, I was absolutely thrilled. I met my husband, 37M, in my third year of medical school, we have been married for four years now. My husband works in marketing, and I make three times his salary. From the beginning of our relationship, I was very upfront that I was unsure about having biological children. My dream was always to adopt from foster care and my husband seemingly understood this. However, after his befriend had a baby boy last year, he began to really press me on having children. I was initially very against this idea because I was just beginning my career, I wanted to wait a few more years before revisiting the topic of children. In August of last year I found out

I was unexpectedly pregnant due to a condom breaking during sex. I was initially considering an abortion, but after many heartfelt conversations with my husband, we decided to keep the baby, and he would quit his job and stay home until our daughter was old enough to start preschool. There were several factors that went into our decision to have him stay home with our daughter. I make significantly more money than him, so financially it just made more sense. I am in the first few years of my career as an attending physician. After four years of med school and a four-year residency, I am just starting to practice on my own,

whereas my husband has been in his career for 15 years. I was very clear I had absolutely zero desire to stay home and be a housewife. I respect stay-at-home mothers, but my work is my life, and I would go crazy at home all day. This just isn't a lifestyle I want whatsoever. Finally, I am not comfortable putting my child in daycare until she is old enough to express herself verbally. As a victim of immolestation when I was young, I just did not trust people enough to leave my daughter in the hands of strangers when she would be unable to report abuse slash neglect. Our daughter is nine weeks old today and I am preparing to return to my practice in a few weeks. This weekend, I left my husband alone with our daughter while I attended a medical conference out of state.

The conference was amazing but when I returned home, my husband began acting weird. Today, when our daughter was napping, I pressed him to tell me what was wrong. He absolutely broke down and said he doesn't think he can do this. He expressed how trapped, alone and overwhelmed he felt all weekend. He now wants me to extend my maternity leave and is talking about trying to get his job back. This made me freak out, and I asked, well, what will we do with our daughter now? He responded by suggesting I leave my practice and work from home. I said absolutely not, and he suggested daycare.

At this point I just lost my shit and screamed if I knew you were going to back out of your promise to take care of our daughter, I would have never had your child. I know I completely overreacted and I would never trade our daughter for anything, I love her so much. But I am so upset with my husband and I'm not sure how to move forward at this point. Additional information from OOP to address some health slash medical issues. OOP, a few people have brought this point up, and I'm just going to address it here. I started hormonal BC at 17 when I lost my virginity. Unfortunately for me, I'm the kind of woman who gets practically every single side effect in the three-page pamphlet.

I tried a bunch of different kinds, but I eventually decided it was not for me. I got a copper IUD installed for a few years, but I ended up getting it removed early because it gave me severe cramping. I've been using strictly condoms for the past several years now and I have never had a problem. Also, this may be TMI, but I never allow my husband to ejaculate into the condom while his penis is inside me. This is for extra safety slash peace of mind. Maybe 2x a year he will come too fast or unexpectedly and cannot pull out in time. The night we conceived my daughter, he came unexpectedly into the condom. I didn't think much of it because it happens occasionally, but now I'm really

rethinking some things. Comments where O.P. has replied, commenter one, how does a neurologist work from home? NTA. He's quite happy for you feel trapped, overwhelmed and alone. Time for him to grow up. Oh, O.P. If I transitioned to a WFH role, I would likely have to give up caring for patients as a I'd probably end up doing consulting work for a health insurance company. Sounds soul-sucking, I know. Commenter two, why in the world would you go to work after nine weeks? Don't you have a year of paid maternity leave? Oh, O-op, not in America.

Honestly, you're lucky to get any paid maternity leave in this country. Commenter three, NTA, but, O-P, I would consider the red flags here. He wanted a child and you unexpectedly got pregnant. Now he wants to go back to work and the deal unexpectedly changed. Plus, why he felt alone and overwhelmed when he stayed home but seems no concern for you to stay home and surely feel the same. Update, September 29th, 2024. Hi everyone, it's been a few months since I made my original post.

I did not expect my post to get so much attention, and I was frankly overwhelmed by it. thousands of comments and hundreds of DMs, and I even found my post-screenshot and uploaded on Twitter. To everyone who sent me kind and supportive DMs, thank you very much. I appreciate it more than you know. To those who sent me nasty DMs, criticizing me as a mother, you are part of the reason why 40% of female doctors go part-time or leave medicine altogether within six years of completing their residencies. women can want a career in a family, like men have had for hundreds of years.

This does not make us evil monsters. To those who sent me DMs seeking medical advice, I am not comfortable giving medical advice over Reddit and I sincerely hope that you find the care you need. To those questioning why I was not on birth control, I addressed this more in a separate comment. But hormonal birth control does not work for every woman. Even board certified abjans will testify to this. After trying my best with every birth control under the sun for nearly 10 years, I decided condoms and pullout would be enough.

Was this a stupid decision? Yes. But 40% of doctors are overweight so we aren't always the best at taking care of our own health. Regardless, I have no regrets, I love my daughter and would not change a thing. Okay now for the actual update. A few days after I made my original post, I realized how awful what I said to my husband was. No matter how upset I was, I never should have used our daughter as leverage in an argument. Even if I had to quit my job tomorrow and become a single mom, I would still do it for her

because I love her more than anything and I would choose her every time. I still feel awful that I said this, it was truly a terrible thing to say. Another thing I dropped the ball on was not being more patient and accepting with my husband. For some context, my mother came from out of town to stay with us for the first eight weeks after I gave birth. My husband did contribute greatly. I'd honestly say they both did 50% of the work with the baby for the first week or so while I recovered, after that we split the work between the three of us. So, for him to go from two people supporting him to being on his own for a whole weekend in a matter of about ten days was obviously a huge shock and I should have realized this.

His complaints about feeling trapped, overwhelmed, and alone are the exact reasons why I have no desire to be a song. Yes, we had a deal, but I should have given him space to express his concerns openly without me flipping shit. I stayed at my sisters with our daughter for a few days after the fight to give my husband some space. He would come to visit her every day during this period, but we agreed not to talk yet. When I came home, I apologized to him for mishandling the situation. To my surprise, he actually apologized too. He told me that he never intended to back out of our agreement.

He just became so overwhelmed that he was unsure he was capable of caring for our daughter properly. He apologized for giving up so fast and suggesting that I WFH. He told me that no matter what we decided to do, I should not leave my practice. At the end of his apologies, he said that he wanted to give being a stay-at-home dad another shot. We then had a very long conversation about how we would handle things from there. He told me that caring for our daughter was not the overwhelming part, it was trying to keep up with the cooking and cleaning that was difficult. So, we decided to hire a maid and buy one of those meal kit delivery services.

He joined one of those new parent support groups to help reduce his isolation. Three times a week, my sister-in-law has agreed to come over to babysit for a few hours so he can go to the gym or have some me time. I also told him that if at any point he feels like he can't be a sod anymore, to please tell me. I made it very clear that while I would be slightly disappointed, I would be much more disappointed knowing that he was burnt out and upset while caring for our daughter. Since this, we've also taken steps to strengthen our marriage, going on date nights once a week. I don't yet feel comfortable leaving our daughter with anyone besides family so most of these date nights include long walks while pushing her in the stroller or Netflix and take out on the couch,

but hey it's been working. Addressing the hole poking holes in the condom thing. No, I do not think this happened. I honestly did not even bother asking my husband this. I felt that an accusation of this magnitude would be detrimental to our marriage, especially when it was already in such a fragile state. has agreed to get a vasectomy, so we don't have any more happy accidents. He is scheduled for later this year, and we are abstaining from PIV until then. This whole situation has made me realize I needed to go back to therapy, and I've been seeing my therapist for about six weeks now. My CSA hadn't impacted my life for about eight years prior to this, but having my daughter and dealing with postpartum anxiety has stirred up some really dark thoughts.

I know that I am being overprotective due to my trauma, and I want to work through this so that I can be a good mother and a good partner. A lot of people told me to leave my husband, and I'm sure a lot of people reading this may think that I'm making a mistake. I know that I am not. My husband had a weak moment and broke down, but he does not have a pattern of being unreliable, dishonest, or unsupportive. He supported me through my final two years of med school and throughout my residency. Please try to remember that my post highlighted the worst moment in our relationship. It did not show the eight wonderful years we have had together. Comments where Ope has replied, comment or one, oh dear. This is all very step 40.

Ope. About a year into my husband and I dating, I was studying for the USM Step 2 exam. This is an absolute monster of an exam. Nine hours in one day testing you on all your clinical knowledge. Your residency match heavily relies on your step two performance. Obviously, I was beyond stressed. About six weeks before my exam, my husband and I had dinner reservations for 8 p.m. I was exhausted and accidentally fell asleep at 6 p.m., standing him up for dinner.

At 9 p.m. he knocked on my apartment door to see if I was okay, and I broke down as soon as I opened the door. All the stress and anxiety came flooding out. I was sobbing in his chest telling him that I could not finish medical school. He spent all night comforting me and he continued to be there for me the entire time. He brought me meals twice a day, so that I did not have to cook, did my laundry every week, ran my errands, took care of my cat, and gave me many back massages because I spent so much time hunched over my textbooks. He emotionally supported me the entire time, he never let me lose sight of my dream and did everything he could to help me through my difficult time. This is who my husband is and now I am

returning the favor. I am supporting him however I can as he makes this difficult transition into being a sod. Call me a step-forward wife all you want, but it's just not worth it to me to throw away my family over one horrible fight. Upp on if she will have any more kids and if not, any procedures to be done oop, nope. My husband is getting a vasectomy. Tried copper IUD for a bit, my horrible periods. I am so sick of family planning being 100% on women. I do not want to deal with the side effects of hormonal birth control for another 10 years when hubby has agreed to a quick outpatient procedure. Next story, proposed to my girlfriend and started planning our wedding. But then she suggested a threesome with her crush. So I cancelled our wedding. Now her family

blaming me for. So, this is quite a long and sad story. story that I need to vent as is really hard for me to deal with so far. I, 24M, recently proposed to my now ex-fiance, 23F, after two years of dating. We met by mutual friends at work. We started talking as friends, we went on dates and on New Year's Eve we officially started dating. During the beginning of our relationship she mentions this guy, Marvin. According to her, Marvin has always have a crush on her and during the first months of our relationship he texted her several times asking her to leave me and give him a chance. We used to say how pathetic this guy was and how she despises him for suggesting she would leave me for him. I must clarify I'm

nothing special. I'm a five feet four inches Asian nerdy guy. Time goes by and after two years on dating I decided to propose to her. So on New Year's Eve I gave her the ring and she say yes in front of her whole family. I have some money saved. She doesn't work. So I start to started looking for venues, catering, invitations, decor and everything. I spent it a high amount of money as her parents are not in the position to help with the expenses and I have enough savings to go through this comfortably. One day, while we're running errands we started talking about having a threesome. We are in our 20s, so there's a lot of things we want to try. We discussed for a while on how we could find someone and she quickly says, I have someone

on mind I ask who and say replies with Marvin. I know that was the first red flag, but I let it pass. I asked why him and she just answered she was sexually attracted to him. I asked about why she would say she hate him first and then choose him as her first option for a threesome and she replies is only a one-time thing. So I told her it was okay but we needed to talk later to set rules, limits, and I would like to talk to him personally before giving the green light. During the next couple of days she's acting really excited and she comes to me,

show me hotels and when are we going to meet with him and how exciting everything is. I told her we need to talk things first as is not as easy as it sounds and we need to have some limits. After that she calmed down for a day or two and starts to bring the subject up again. We reached a point where she insisted so much and bring the subject up so many times I ended up saying to her that she either calmed down or no threesome is going to happen. She apologized and mentions I was right, but, something didn't feel right. That afternoon we were having a nap, and while she was sleeping I went through her phone and I found how she was cheating on me with him for a couple months now.

They have been meeting while I was working and she even sent them one of those BDSM tests you can find online to see if his kinks matched with hers. To say I was furious is an understatement. She woke up while I was checking the phone and I confronted her. She started crying saying she was sorry and how she didn't know what she was doing. I packed my things and stormed out to stay at a hotel. That night I got a call from her parents saying how I was ruining the engagement and acting as a baby while I was the one who bring the topic of the threesome and how her daughter wasn't at fault. I hung up without saying

anything and started canceled everything I had for the wedding. She called me the next day apologizing, asking me to come back. Her whole family is sending texts asking me to man up, as I was the one at fault, and not breaking the engagement. Ada for canceling everything? Update 1, September 5th, 2024. Hey guys. Thanks for everyone's advice, I appreciate the support and the mean comments. Both perspectives were helpful.

Now, let me address just a few things before continue one. My ex stopped working to go to college. We met at work, but she quit once we move and together. Two, yes, my now ex-fiancee told her parents we were breaking up because I suggested the threesome and got mad when she mentioned Marvin. And her parents believed her. Three, yes, I needed reassurance to make sure I was not the one in fault. I've been conditioned all my life to be a doormat so it's hard to stand for myself.

Here's the update, after seeing all your messages I reached to my fill so we agreed to meet at a nearby mall to talk about the reasons why I broke the engagement. I did have a good relationship with him as we both share the same interests and hobbies, so I figure we could have a conversation. We met and even though he looked mad, he agreed to listen. I did took screenshots of the conversations my ex-fiancee had with Marvin and I showed them to him. After looking at everything he told me my ex gave them a totally different story. According to what he told me, my ex went to them crying saying I was breaking the engagement

because I wanted to have a threesome and once she picked Marvin as the third I snapped at her. He also mentioned Marvin has been going to check on my ex since my ex has been staying with them after we broke up. We went to my apartment and packed all of her belongings to move her out. The ring was at the apartment as well so I kept it. We're on our way to drop everything to her right now. I will keep you guys updated. Update 2, September 15th, 2024. Hey guys, I'm back. I know y'all have been waiting for this update. I had to create a new account because I got Shadow banned on the other one. I apologize for the delay. So after picking my ex's belongings, me and my Phil drove to his house. The ride there was awkward to say

the least. When we get there we walked in and we saw Mill, my ex, and guess who else? Exactly, fucking Marvin. They were all at the living room. My ex looked like she had been crying for a while. Marvin was hugging her and Mill was seated next to her with a box of tissues. My Mill saw me enter and started asked Phil what I was doing there. He responded, We all need to talk about the situation, and he came to clarify some things. We all sat down and Marvin was about to leave the room when Phil said no, please stay. You're part of this too. Marvin sat down but you could see he was not holding well. His right leg was bouncing and he tried his best not to make I contact with

me or my ex-Phil started saying that I accepted to continue with the engagement, which made Mill and my ex smile, however I had one condition. Marvin must show him his WhatsApp conversation with my ex to him. At that moment, I was shocked. I was about to argue however I understood something. Most likely my ex had deleted the convo with Marvin, but there was a chance Marvin didn't. Marvin tried to protest, but my Phil insisted and asked him to do this for her daughter. My ex and Marvin glanced at each other and my Mill was quiet looking at Phil. Finally after that, Marvin stood up and left without saying anything else. My ex started crying again and my Phil told her to shut up.

He said I had show him screenshots of their conversations and he was disappointed to raise a cheating slut. Mill was in disbelief so I showed her the screenshots too. They both screamed at her how could she do something like that on top of lying to their faces. At the end my Phil went to unload her belongings in the driveway and told her to look for some other place to stay as she wasn't welcome there anymore. Phil apologized to me and told me he would like to keep in touch to make sure I was okay. I came back home after all of that happened feeling empty, NGL.

I think it was the adrenaline wearing off. I got one called my ex, but I didn't answer. I blocked the number and spoke with security at my building to trespass her if she comes by. I posted on FB and Instagram about what happened and made sure to post the screenshots of the conversation to make sure she cannot twist the situation with friends and family. I will get most of my money after canceling the venue, catering and other stuff so I'm planning to move to another state. I got some STD tests done and I'm clean.

And I'll be selling the ring to get my money back. So far that's the update. I don't think I will update any more on this, but I want to thank everyone, good and bad comments. Hopefully everything goes better now. I hope you enjoy this story. Brought up my privileged sibling as three children after she deserted them. Now, they are compensating me as a gesture of gratitude, yet she is enraged and requesting the compensation. Greetings, it is I, 48F, and I have a younger sister, Diana.

Diana, 46F. Diana never really got along well when we were kids. She was always too pretentious and kind of mean to me and so parted ways as soon as we had high school. I chose to go to that. She decided to move in with her boyfriend at the time. It's a good thing that her boyfriend was rich since our parents would never have been able to afford the rent to let her live on her own. But she had made it very clear to our parents that she had no interest in knowing their opinions on her life and was going to do whatever she wanted. So my parents never tried to stop her either and just let her run free. She had twin girls at 20 and then a boy at 21 while she was living with her boyfriend, and my parents were happy for her, but at the same time, it was kind of concerning because now,

she had a lot of responsibilities and no job. She was completely and fully reliant on her boyfriend, money, and maintaining her lifestyle. Diana never got married to her boyfriend and I think it was a bad move because at least then, she would have been entitled to alimony after they broke up. They had to go separate ways after Diana found out that he had been cheating on her. Thankfully, he did give her child support that she was entitled to. However, he chose to opt out of being a father and signed away his parental rights. The girls were both three years old at the time, so they were really young and my nephew was just two years old.

After that, my sister was completely on her own and she needed to get all the help that she could to be able to support herself. Now, I did not have a good relationship with her, but because of my parents, I decided to help her out. At the time I earned a decent amount of money. It was not enough to support all four of them, but I could at least contribute a small amount of money every month, along with my parents, and they got by the first few months. It was really difficult to find her since she did not have a degree and had no experience either. She had to start at the bottom and work her way up, which would require her to devote quite a lot of time to her jobs if she wanted to make progress quickly. But that would be difficult because she had to

think about her children as well and she couldn't just leave them at home. She could hire a babysitter, but that was pretty expensive so she had to rely on me or on her friends. Our parents were also working, they were contributing to her as well, so they couldn't stay home and it was the same for me. She didn't have any friends either, who would be okay with watching her kids. while she was away at work. Since all of them had their own lives and jobs, none of them took such a responsibility. So, she was kind of stuck in minimum wage jobs so she could adjust her hours accordingly and come back home quickly, so she wouldn't have to pay the babysitter to stay with her kids for too long because then, the cost of that would be

exorbitant, and she would not be able to afford it. This went on for a couple of years, and I guess Diana started resending her own children. Because they were standing in the way of her success, and according to her, they were the only factors holding her back. I would visit her occasionally, not for her sake, but for the children's sake, because I wanted to make sure that they were doing all right. I did not have a good relationship with her, but I was not heartless enough to let a bunch of innocent kids suffer the consequences of their mother's terrible decisions. So my parents and I would regularly check up on the children and they would always be complaining about how badly Diana was treating them. She would scold them for little things and

lash out at them just being kids and trying to have fun. It was just a miserable existence for all of them and I wished that I could help them and pull them out of that house and keep them with me, but I couldn't do that, since she was the rightful parent and I had right over them. Besides, she was getting child support from her ex and was doing her best to make ends meet. I kind of felt bad for her as well, but I felt worse for the children. However, things were pretty bad because, after that, she started seeing other men as well. and every time a relationship would not work out, she would start blaming her kids for it. Apparently, in her head, she believed that her boyfriend would always break up with her once they found out that she was the mother to three kids.

I personally think it was because she would never say anything about it on the first couple of dates and she would just bring it down with them after they had been together for a month or two. And I think that's a really long time to keep a secret like that. When you are a single mother, I think you need to be upfront about it. Otherwise, it just seems dishonest and kind of weird. And I tried to explain that to her many times, but she was really convinced that she was getting broken up with only because of the fact that she had children. And she would keep tormenting them about it, reminding them again and again how their father had abandoned her, and she would keep threatening to leave them behind as well if they

did not behave themselves, so they were really scared of her and the childhood was constantly just full of their mother's narcissism. This went on for literally years, I'm not even kidding. Several times, it occurred to me that I should probably just take them and run with it. But I couldn't do that and neither could I file for custody of the kids or try to report her because what she was doing, while it was bad, didn't exactly amount to something that could justify having her kids taken away from her. So this just kept going on and they were just thankful that they had me by their side because

my parents were too old to be there for them as friends, but I was always there for them whenever they needed it. They could never go to their mother with their problems and they could always come to their aunt and that's what they did. Any time they would have any sort of issues with people at school or academics or even Diana, they would come straight to me. And I really liked it, it felt like they trusted me and I valued that. So it was no big surprise that when they turned 18, they decided to leave their mother's house and come live with me instead. Now that they were not legally minors anymore, they could choose to live wherever and with whomever they pleased, so it was me that they chose to live with.

Diana was obviously very disappointed about it and had a lot to say like she said that she had wasted 18 years of her life, trying to raise these kids, and in the end, they did not even choose her. She was very nasty about it and told me that if I wanted to raise her kids so badly, I should have stepped in earlier instead of taking over when they were 18 and the job was mostly done anyway. I so badly wanted to tell her that she hadn't rested, they had pretty much raised themselves because she was always out, either at work or after that, she would be out on dates with other men, who would eventually break up with them when they found out that she was a mother to three kids. And she did not have any sense of what she should prioritize. So obviously it

turned out to be this way. The kids chose the person who had actually been there for them, over the person who had always tormented them and rebuke them, just because she could not find somebody and she was not happy in her life. It was just that she had never already realized that she was hurting them, just because she was hurting herself. But I did not want to rub it in her face because I knew that it must have been hurtful for her as well, which is why she was lashing out at me, so I just kept my mouth shut, and that was it. After that, we didn't really have any contact. her kids decided to cut ties with her and live with me instead. She also decided to part with all of us and stopped speaking to everybody. Even our parents did not have any contact with them, which was strange

because they hadn't done anything. I guess the fact that they had not tried to take her side against me when my nieces and nephew chose to move in with me pissed her off and she cut them off as well. It has been seven years since then and all of them are doing pretty well in life now. I honestly don't know what Diana has been up to, but I know that her kids are doing great. My nephew went to medical school and is now a pediatrician. One of my nieces has a degree in literature and is now a teacher while her twin sister runs her own hair salon. I helped all of them take out loans for the business and I even finance them to the best of my abilities and I am really proud of them now because they are doing so well in life and have come so far from the

kind of home that they used to live in. All of them are living separately now. They only lived with me for four years and even then, it was not exactly them living with me, since they would usually be in college and would only come back occasionally. I guess I just didn't want to come back to a home where they did not feel wanted. I'm talking about Diana's home. Anyway, it has been two years since all of them moved out and I'm so happy for all of them. I never expected anything in return for any of this because in all honesty, I was only doing this because I thought it was the right thing to do. They were just kids and no matter the kind of bad blood that I had with my sister, I could never be heartless with them. I had always had a soft corner for all of them since I never

had any kids of my own and I never even got married. It was just not my cup of tea personally but for them, I think I wanted to be there as a parental figure because their father was not in the picture and well, we all know what kind of a person Diana was. So they needed some of a person. and my parents were too old for that job, so I stepped up. That was all that I had done, I never expected anything in return, but I am so glad that they are the kind of kids who think that I deserve a token of appreciation for what I did, even though I don't think that it was something that I need to be compensated for or whatever. However, about a week ago, I celebrated my 48th birthday. And on my birthday, I obviously invited my friends and my family, including my

nieces and my nephew. I had a blast, and my nephew was kind enough to organize everything for me, even though I wanted to pay for everything. He told me that he was going to cover the expenses because now, he was making enough money to do things for me and express his gratitude. After the party was over, the three of them sat me down for a conversation and told me that the three of them had talked it out and now that all of them were financially stable, they wanted to show me how grateful they were and were going to collectively write me a check and show me how grateful they were for everything that I had done for them. I tried to tell them that it was not required because I'm still working and I can totally financially support myself right now, so I don't

need this, but they told me that it was not because they wanted to pay off the debt. They were sweet enough to tell me that they would never be able to pay off whatever I had done for them because it was a tangible amount. But the kind of support that I had shown them and the faith that I had always had in them, that was not something that they could compensate me for and so, this was a little attempt at trying to express their gratitude. I was really touched by the heartfelt gesture and I decided to post about it on social media. I just wanted to appreciate them for whatever they were doing for me. My sister and I have not been in touch for the past few years, so I do not think that she would care.

Anyway, I was blocked from every platform and I thought that she wouldn't even be able to find that, so I thought it was okay. And honestly, Diana had never bothered to get back in touch with us and try to find out how her children were doing after they had left home. Agreed, it was they who had cut ties with her first and moved in with me so they would be away from her, but that was kind of her own fault. The least that she could have done was express an interest in their life and try to be a mother to them so she would be able to rectify the mistake she had made. But if I'm being honest, she did not seem to care much about the loss of contact and I assumed that she was doing

just fine. Anyway, after that post, I received a message from her a couple of days ago. I was not expecting it because, like I said, for six years, we had not been in touch. But I should have guessed that as soon as she knew that her kids were financially stable, she would come sniffing like a bloodhound to find out exactly how much money she could get out of them. In her message to me, she told me that she had read the post that I had made in now, she wanted to talk to me about her children. She said that she knew she had messed up in the beginning and she had not exactly been a good mother to them the first time around. But now, she felt like she wanted to have a relationship

with them. She wanted to give herself another chance as a mother since she felt like these past six years, she had missed them a lot. I don't know how much truth that statement holds because if she really had missed them, she could have contacted me at least just once. She told me she wants me to talk to her kids and try to bridge the gap between them since they respond well to me. The timing was nothing less than suspicious. And I chose to ignore that message because I was just really pissed off by what she was trying to do since it was so blatantly obvious. When I did not respond to her message, she called me in the evening and that's when I snapped. She told me that she wanted me to talk to her children and try to get them back in touch with her again,

and I told her that I was not going to do anything of the sort because, I knew what she was trying to do. And I was fully aware that she was only after them for the money, she did not actually care about their well-being. She was pretending to care about it because she wanted access to them and by them, I meant their bank accounts. She had absolutely zero interest in being a mother again. If she actually regretted what she had done, she would have reached out to them directly instead of talking to me about it. She couldn't even let go of her pride and ego for one second.

She still wanted her kids to reach out to her even though it was she had messed up in the first place. It was astounding how she was so entitled. She tried to argue with me and told me that she would, was not after them for the money, and it was insulting that I would imply it, but I told her I was not implying it, I was sure of it because it was pretty transparent, and I was disgusted and repulsed by what she was trying to do. She then tried to tell me that stealing everything from her, first I had stolen her children from her and now, I was stealing a fortune from her as well. So I told her that I did not need the money and I was initially skeptical about accepting the

check, but now, I was going to take it all away from her because she did not deserve it. And now, she's crying about it on social media and going around telling everybody about what I said, trying to make me look like the bad guy. Some of my relatives actually think that I went too far with what I said, and that kind of made me seem greedy and think that I owe her an apology, which is unbelievable. And that's why I'm here to ask if Ida because I told my sister that she does not deserve the money that her kids have decided to give to me? Update 1, hey, so I discussed this incident with my nephew and nieces,

as the comments told me too. They told me that they already had heard about this from a couple of relatives and they had been thinking about talking to me about it, but didn't exactly have the time to, however, now that I had called them over and discussed it with them, they told me that they thought I did the right thing. My nephew was very upfront about his feelings and said that he had never thought of his mother as a maternal figure in his life, and it had always been me because she had never even been there for him, and my niece had agreed with him.

He had always been the most outspoken of the lot. it was unsurprising that it was all coming from him, and my nieces were too emotional to talk. But he was really angry and upset and told me that Diana had to speak to me because she had never done the bare minimum and that was because of the fact that she was getting child support money from their father and even then, she would constantly taunt them and make them feel bad about simply existing. It was not even their fault, which is true. So they think that I did the right thing and have told me that they are not going to get in touch with their mother, no matter what happens. And they also feel that I should stand up for myself and tell my side of the story online,

since Diana has decided to talk crap about me and social media has the best way to get the message across. So I guess that's what I'm going to do. I'm really glad that they decided to take my side on this because my parents are staying out of it altogether and have told me that they don't want to be involved. I find it really weird because Diana never spoke to them either after she was cut off by her children and I find my parents' diplomatic approach to this situation really strange because they have never been in touch with Diana in the past six years either. I was kind of disappointed by that. But anyway, at least my nieces and my nephew are on my side. And now, coming to a question that a lot of people had for me, which is why did I not file for

custody and have the children taken away from Diana if I knew that she was a bad mother and was not treating them well? Well, I mentioned in my post, that while what she was doing, was not right, it also did not qualify as torture or abuse or neglect. She was just mean to them all the time and wasn't exactly emotionally available for her children. So maybe I could have filed for custody, but it would be very unlikely that I would be able to get the children under my care. Parents usually want families to stick together and here, in their case, they had already lost a father. Their father had walked out of their life, and their mother was the only biological parent that they had remaining.

So naturally, the court would want the family to stick together. And I knew for a fact that if I filed any sort of petition against her or took any sort of legal action against Diana, she would make sure immediately that I never got to see them again. She would make sure that she took the kids far away from me and it was already unlikely that I would be able to take them away from her and get full custody. So it would just be putting them in a very risky situation. which is why I decided to play it safe and just keep in touch with them and be there for them all the time.

I don't know if it was the right thing to do in the long run, but at the time, it seemed like the only solution. Maybe there could have been better ways to deal with it, but it was the only one that I could think of and that's why I did what I thought was the right thing to do. It was not easy for me and for years, I kept contemplating whether I should file for custody or not, or have them taken away from her somehow and have them rehomed. but there is just no telling what might have happened and I thought that it was better for them to stay with their mother and have contact with me and my parents rather than any sort of risk in this kind of a situation. I hope that on the questions that most people had for me and maybe I might come off as a bad guy for what I did, but I don't really care. I know that the kids are doing well in their lives now and I did whatever I could to keep them happy and safe and I was always there for them.

So I have no reason to feel guilty about anything. Update 2, hey, so it has been one week since that message from Diana, and today, I have been receiving a lot of phone calls from relatives and people who have been speaking to her and they were telling me how wrong I was and stuff like that. It was getting really tiring, and I was busy with work, which is why I had not been able to make a post earlier but today, I decided that I had had enough. After a short discussion with my nephew and my nieces, I decided to finally put up a post, sharing my side of the story and also, in a way, sharing their side of the story. Since I don't think anybody in the family knew exactly how much those kids had been through in

their childhood. How many taunts they had to face every single day, just because Diana had decided to get pregnant earlier and had dropped everything for her boyfriend at the time. Even after that, she kept blaming other people for her own decisions and tried to make it seem like she was doing everything in her power to do right by her children, but in reality, she was never there for them. And I think since she was telling everybody about how I had stolen her kids from her, and I was now stealing a fortune from her as well, now that her children were doing well financially, people deserve to know the reality of the situation. Not just her warped version of things where she was somehow the victim, instead of being the person who tormented everybody.

They were already judging me for a lot of things because they only knew her side of the story and sympathized with her, but in reality, it was me who deserved to tell my side of the story along with her kids. So I typed everything out a couple of hours ago and I made the post. So far, she has not said anything to me and the only messages that I have received are from my relatives, who were judging me earlier. Now, they have suddenly flipped and are trying to tell me that they judged me too quickly and they want to apologize to me, but honestly, it does not mean anything to me. I just wanted them to know the truth, I don't really care what they think of me. but it was important for me to speak my truth and share how Diana had treated her kids,

which is why they were not in touch with her anymore. Anyway, now that all is done, I am ready to move on from this. Honestly, I don't want anything to do with Diana anymore, and I was perfectly happy for the past six years when she was not in touch with me. And I think the same can be said for her kids as well, I don't understand why she felt the need to stir up so much drama. If she wanted money, she could have just asked her. for it instead of pretending that she actually wanted another shot at being a mother.

Okay, it's officially been a day since I made that post today, I guess Diana finally woke up and decided to get back at me. Instead of reaching out to me personally, she decided to continue being dramatic and started commenting on that post, trying to make it seem like I was lying and stuff, but that was not going to work, obviously. As soon as she tried to comment, her kids started commenting and replying to her, reminding her of very specific incidents from their childhood where she had been horrible to them. That went on for about an hour or so and honestly, I did not even feel bad about it. Neither did anybody else, because my nephew, my nieces, and we were all thoroughly enjoying this process. They were completely humiliating her and there

was no way that she could lie her way out of this because every single lie that she was trying to tell in order to make me seem like the bad guy, she was getting caught out. I'm lucky that I decided to do this on the weekend because otherwise, maybe we wouldn't have been able to jump to our defense so quickly. Anyway, that went on for about an hour, and after that, she started deleting her comments so that people would not be able to catch her in her lies. It was too late, though, since a lot of people had already seen what was going on in the comments section and I guess she started getting called out for her behavior as well by other people. She started deleting her comments and backtracking everything that she said. And then, she finally blocked me.

And she also blocked her own kids as well. I'm guessing that was her sign of surrendering, in a way. And I'm glad that she chose to do that because, in a fight with us, she definitely would not have won because we obviously have the upper hand here, be it morally or otherwise. I really thought that deleting the comments would be the end of our interaction, but after that, she chose to reach out to me personally as well. She sent me a message, saying that she hoped that I would be happy now since I had painted her to be the villain, and now everybody hates her. I thought that it was really ironic, coming from her since that's exactly what she was trying to do first. She started it in now, just because I decided to hand it back to her, she can't take it.

I don't even understand why people try to dish it out when they know that they can't lick it back up. Just don't start drama if you don't want to get caught up in the consequences of it. Anyway, I ignored that message and that's what all of us are going to go back to doing, ignoring her for the rest of our lives. Because she is not even worthy of our attention anymore, she has proven that. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered affection anew following the death of my spouse, only to stumble upon my closest companion and my recent partner enjoying themselves in my culinary space.

consequently, I had him apprehended while she stood by. On vacation. My wife Rachel and I grew up in a largeish town of close to 30,000 people. We knew each other at an early age, roughly six or seven, can't specifically remember. We were practically inseparable. At 16, we started dating each other. When we turned 18, we moved away for work in a city just a few hours drive away. By 20, we 20, we were married and had bought our first house. At 22, we discovered that she was pregnant with a boy. It was then disaster struck about five weeks before she was due to go on maternity leave, a large shelving unit collapsed and crushed her. I was told that both her and our child were killed instantly. Two of her colleagues had also been injured in the accident, one left

paralyzed, the other losing his leg after it had to be amputated. The company she was working for, had in a cost-cutting measure, decided to continue that had been written off as unsafe instead of replacing it. I still haven't quite forgiven those executives and management personnel that made that decision, because they cut short the love of my life as well as killing our unborn child. It wasn't long after I was told I had a choice on how to proceed with what her company called compensation, but I called it blood money. They wanted to settle out of court to avoid a lawsuit. I, on the other hand, was out for their blood. Just to clarify here, this is not the revenge, this is still backstory.

Fortunately, due to the coverage that it got, and involving several politicians, the case was settled quickly in court, roughly three years, in which the payout for all parties was close to ten times the amount that they had initially offered. A lot of fines were given to them for breaches on work, health and safety, executives were sacked, others were jailed, etc. A story for another time maybe, when I feel comfortable sharing, in this time, I was still working my job in telecommunications. My mother, bless her soul, had moved in while all this was happening to help me. I think I would have fallen apart if she hadn't been as involved as she was. It was around this time, I was offered a promotion,

but it involved a lot of travel around the state. I made a request to have an office in my hometown's branch, as I wanted to not only take care of businesses in the state, but in my hometown also as there was no business representative located there to which they agreed. After a few months, we settled into a routine of one to two weeks in the city office, one week in my hometown and one to two weeks visiting the rest of the state. After a year, I decided to buy a house in my hometown, so I wasn't having to stay at my parents' place every week or so that I was home and that I could come and go as I pleased. This is important for later in the story. It is about four years later that our story begins. Sorry if the back story was a bit long, I had just returned from

one of my trips on Friday, and was checking in some stuff at my office when Harry, the branch's managing director, walked in. We had grown up together also, but had gone to different schools but since coming back had developed a very close friendship. He asked how things were, and then asked me if I wanted to come to a house party that he was having that evening. Short notice and all, but I said yes. I felt like a few drinks with friends were in order. It was there that Harry introduced me to Catherine. She was a new hire at the branch where my hometown's office was located and was getting

to know everyone being new in town. We hit it off immediately. As much of a cliche as it sounds, it was almost as if Rachel was in front of me, instead of Catherine. I won't bore you too much with the details, but after two years of dating, we decided to take the next step and she moved into my hometown's house.

Everything up to this point had been going really well. Catherine and my parents got along and Rachel's parents also approved and were happy that someone could make me just as happy as Rachel had done. All was going well for close to a year when things began to change. Skype sessions were cut short suddenly,

neighbors would tell me about how a car, described to me like it was Harry's, was always seen parked in the back alley near my house whenever I was away, some clothes that weren't mine were in my wardrobe. All signs pointed to her cheating, but she said that nothing was happening. She said that Harry would come over occasionally to discuss business, etc., but never stayed the night. I chalked it up to me being paranoid and continued on as if nothing was wrong, but there was always this feeling that something wasn't right. It was close to six months after that I discovered that she had been lying to me. I had just finished closing a rather large contract with a new company and negotiations had wrapped up earlier than I had anticipated. So instead of sticking

around for the next few days, I decided to pay for an early flight home and surprise everyone. Fast forward a few hours and I drive into my hometown and down the alley behind my house so that I could get into the house without being seen in surprise Catherine. Some part of me was curious, however, as to whether this mystery car was there. Sure enough, there was a car that was blocking the back entrance gate. I was confused for a moment wondering if it had just been a neglectful neighbor parking only to realize that it was indeed Harry's car. If it hadn't been for the high hedge line that I had put in a few years back for privacy, I may have well driven past my own place. Pulling up behind his car, I got out and thought it was strange that he was there so late.

As she claimed that he always had left by now. As I approached the back of the house I saw something that stomach drop. In my kitchen, Catherine and Harry were going at it hammer and tong. I froze. Time stopped. There was my close friend, having sex on my kitchen bench with my girlfriend. I didn't know what to do. So many questions were running through my head.

Was this real or was I dreaming? Why were they having sex in my house? Feeling defeated, I turned and left without them seeing me. I sat in my car for what felt like an eternity. I was crying. Hard. But the sadness quickly turned into anger. The same kind of anger I felt towards those that were responsible for Rachel's death.

I wanted to hurt them. badly. As a pacifist, I don't believe in violence. It was then I knew I was going to punish them and destroy their lives. And what better time to start than now? I moved my car back up the alley, far enough away from my driveway that I could still see Harry's car, and then walked back to the gate where I could see into the house, and called her phone. They were still going for it when it rang. They both looked at the caller ID and did a double take when my name came up. I could see that she was considering answering it and they let it ring out. After a few moments they were back into it again and I dialed once again. This time she did answer. As she was answering I hung up

and made my way back to my car. As soon as I did, she called me back. She asked why I was calling as late as I was, and I told her that I was about ten minutes from home and didn't want to scare her coming in. She, obviously, was shocked and acted happy that I was coming and the call ended very quickly after she said she was going to get up and get changed into something. I said by and hung up. A few moments later, Harry came peeling through the gate and still half naked, jumped into his car took off like a bat out of hell. I smiled a little, knowing the fear that both of them would be feeling from being so close to being caught. I waited a few moments before turning my car into the same place Harry had been moments earlier. The night was fairly uneventful afterwards and it wasn't

until after she was asleep that I got up and went to my office down the hall. I couldn't sleep. I needed to plan. And plan I did. The revenge my mother always taught me to be a pacifist and to allow cosmic karma to take its course. But on this occasion, I decided that karma could use a helping hand. I decided to punish them separately but destroy both of them. I knew that Harry had a drug habit. Nothing major, but he kept it very private. I only knew about it accidentally after seeing some coke and we'd left out in his place but pretended I hadn't seen it when he had made attempts to cover it up. I began calling some of my more unsavory clientele and made a few discrete inquiries into obtaining some samples that they were willing to part with.

A few days later, I had a decent enough stash for my plan to work. About a month later, I had friends, including Harry around for a barbecue night. After making sure that I sufficiently liquored up Harry, I told him to stay the night and sleep it off. In the early hours of that morning, I took the drugs, and an assortment of my personal belongings, and placed them at various places around his car, with the big big, stash in his tire well. Confident that he wouldn't find them over the few months as the rest of my plan took effect, I locked the car up and went inside to sleep. I also placed some more

drugs and personal items in his house after driving him home because he was still too drunk to drive. A few days later, I staged a break in by smashing the back pain of my back door into my kitchen and leaving it open before heading back to the city for a flight. I had several messages the moment I landed. One from my clearly panicked mom, who had found the back door smashed open and had called from Catherine in tears, and one from the local police asking me to call. After returning all the calls, I informed the police I was away on business, and that I would be back the following week to talk with them. While away, I got Catherine to stay with my parents until after I got back, and asked my dad to organize one of the local security companies to install

cameras and an alarm system after getting the go-ahead from the police as to not ruin the scene of the crime. After getting home, I did the usual my god I can't believe this has happened and why would anyone do this? Routine. After doing a thorough check of everywhere, finding that the items I had taken were missing and filing a police report, I had the security company's rep talk Catherine and I threw how the cameras and alarm system worked. Then came the question I had been waiting for. The question of what happens if we are doing some business and don't want it recorded. She acted a bit shy asking this question. But I knew exactly the reason she was asking. He assured us that this was a question he got asked a lot, and we were shown on the if we wanted to be doing things

without it being recorded, how to stop the recording for certain cameras, so that we could protect her modesty. As I was walking him out, I asked him if cameras were turned off, could a notification be sent out, just as a security precaution. He came back in and helped me through how to set up email notifications and left shortly after. Fantastic. All I had to do was wait. At this stage, I approached for some help in relation to couples law in my country. I needed to make sure that my upcoming plan could legally be done and that I would not be forced to pay out any money or equity to Catherine as I didn't know if we were classified as a de facto couple or not. Being the sole benefactor of Rachel's estate, I didn't want to be left with any nasty surprises where

Catherine could take any of the estate away from me. Shout out to those guys and gals there as they helped me get in contact with a great lawyer who assured me, due to the fact that although we had been dating for close to four years, we had not been living together long enough to be classified as de facto. And because I was paying all the utilities on the property that she was living in and didn't pay rent, showed that she had no legal standing to make a financial claim against me. Just to be sure though, he drew up what I felt was a pretty ironclad document just in case there was any legal trouble. The following week, my work had approached me, and offered me a promotion to move back to the city and run the team that I was a part of, meaning I wouldn't need to travel as often and be in the one location and due to the success of being located in my hometown.

That they were considering having three to five representatives spend one to two weeks in the larger surrounding towns including my hometown as a part of my team. I said yes, and began the process of beginning my transfer, which would take about six weeks. Perfect. More than enough time to gather all my evidence. Upon getting back to my hometown the following week, I began to start in motion the rest of my plan. I asked Harry to approve one week's worth of vacation for Catherine for two weeks' time. I wanted to send her and a friend or two away on a retreat before I made the biggest decision of my life for a second time. He jumped up and gave me a huge hug, congratulating me on being prepared to take the leap again.

I hugged him back tight, but not the way I think he imagined it at the time. He agreed and blocked out the week for me. I asked him not to say anything to anyone, as I wanted to make it as big a surprise as I could. I knew that it would spread like wildfire around the office regardless, but that was my plan. That night, I told Catherine that I had booked her and two friends to go to a try, tropical spa resort, all expenses paid for a week. No questions asked, pick two friends, and come back to the biggest surprise of her life. She screamed like a kid who had just been told that all the candy in the shop was hers to have. I then told her that the following week,

I was going to spend it in the city, preparing for a large client who was one of my biggest accounts. And needed some people in my team to help before flying out the following week and I wouldn't be home until the Monday that she was leaving, so I wouldn't be able to see her, which seemed to disappoint her, but I told her it would be worth it when she returned. What I failed to tell her, was that I had decided to take two weeks' vacation on the other side of the country, mentally preparing myself for the shit storm that was about to erupt the moment she stepped foot on the plane as well as enjoying my first stage of freedom. On Sunday two weeks later, I flew back and began driving home.

Once getting there I'd done a quick pass by my house and sure enough, Harry's car was there. Like the first night I had caught them, I parked a little ways back and checked the cameras. Asleep, in my bed. No surprise honestly as I had recorded them constantly do this over the two weeks I had been away. I then made my first call to the police blocking my caller ID. I told them that I was one of my neighbors and saw someone hanging around in their car in the alley behind my house. house and occasionally passing something through windows to passing cars while also looking into my yard and I was concerned that they were dealing drugs and are going to break. Into someone's property.

I gave them his license plate and description. They said they would have someone there in a few minutes so I thanked them and hung up. I then called Catherine and told her I was about ten minutes from home and that I knew she was flying out tomorrow but desperately wanted to surprise her. Looking back at the footage now, I laugh at the commotion. that I am surprised I didn't hear. In a few short seconds, Harry was half-dressed and flying out the back door to his car. At that point, I couldn't have asked for a more perfect scene. As Harry was peeling away, one of the police cars rounded the corner behind me, saw Harry

driving away fast, and gave chase. After pulling in, greeting and excited Catherine, and doing all the couple things, she fell asleep again. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep a wink. The next day, her and her friends were bundled into a car. After they drove away, I had to wait a few hours, but I began to execute my plan. I called my friend who was a removalist and apologized for the late notice but needed my place packed and moved on Friday. After agreeing on a time I told him that he would need to take certain boxes to a storage facility, which he said wasn't an issue. Then I began packing Catherine's belongings. Later that day, I got a call from the police for me to come and identify some property that

they had apprehended from a suspect the previous night that fit the description of property I had reported stolen. I grinned to myself, happy that my plan for Harry had grown to fruition and replied that I would be there shortly to collect it. Of course, when I got there, some of the items were still unaccounted for, due to the fact that they must have still been in his house and they hadn't searched there yet. By this stage, the town was buzzing with news. Things in my hometown don't stay secret for long.

Harry was disgraced and promptly fired for his possession of drugs and stolen property, and our respective bosses on behalf of the company had extended a formal apology towards me during the week. That night I went to my parents' house and told both mine and Rachel's parents what had happened, omitting certain details, and that I was moving back to the city after being promoted, but Catherine wouldn't be a part of it. They were pretty upset initially that I hadn't let them know what was going on, but were happy that I was handling everything maturely and hadn't sunk to their level, thought they didn't agree with ghosting Catherine.

But after some drinks, laughs and tears, I went home. On Friday afternoon, after a busy week of organizing cleaners for the following week, the real estate to put my house on the rental market, and various other tasks at my hometown's office, I packed some things into my car, and drove to my parents' place and said goodbye before the drive. Before leaving, I went to Becky's house. Becky had been one of Rachel's closest friends growing up. She was the only other person who knew that knew what was happening, minus the details about Harry.

Without her help, I wouldn't have been able to organize everything as quickly as I had. I gave Becky a large Manila folder with my gathered evidence of her cheating, as well as the letter and a few other legal documents from my attorney stating that she was ordered not to contact me, and the details of how to access her belongings located at the storage unit I had rented out. After a quick goodbye, I left and drove back to the city. On Sunday, I woke up to several missed calls, voice messages and text messages. Turns out, Catherine had come home early after being alerted to something being a foot in town, only to find an empty house and a for-rent sign up the front.

Freaking out, she had gone to my parents, who closed the door on her the moment that they answered, forcing her to call everyone until she managed to somehow be contacted by Becky and told that she had a package for her. I was told that she didn't take to well to that, as I fully well knew at that point from the numerous angry texts and voice messages from her accusing me of setting up Harry, etc. I was worried that she might show up at my front door, but nothing ever happened. Five weeks later after leaving and been promoted, I write this out for you, dear reader. Granted it's long, and it took a few rewrites to shorten it down for my initial 14 pages, double what this story is now, but I feel that most of what I said was important enough for the story.

Edit 1, Obligatory Thank You and Holy Cow this blew up. Thanks for gilding this account even though it is a throwaway account that I have no intention of using in the future. I am still at work at the moment and will after I finish answer as many questions as I can, and provide any other updates that come my way. Edit 2, so I'm home now, and with the number of questions that are here, as well as other comments and messages I have received, I decided to take the time to answer questions and provide some clarity here save responding to everyone. So one of the questions I keep getting asked at what happened to Harry,

why I was so hard coming down on him and why I would incriminate especially on the end. internet. After making some inquiries back home to some friends, the short answer is, Harry is looking at a few months in prison as it's his first offense but could be out sooner, and I felt that it was necessary to the story. No one other than myself knew what I had planned to do with Harry, which is why I omitted quite a few crucial details that had the potential to truly identify me, as well as change up some of the descriptive language about locations to potentially put this story anywhere in the world. Just for there was already more than enough evidence in his own home, I just provided the means for the police to further investigate

his activity in his home. That being said, I don't regret doing what I did to him, as he knew both Rachel and I growing up, and knew how hard it was for me to pick up my life after she died. For those also asking if I am worried about Harry finding out and pointing the authorities in my direction, I know that he doesn't use Reddit. I know Catherine has an account, but I haven't seen any recent activity to state that she has been on in some time. As for other Reddit users, who knows? Most of the people I am friends with on my main account may recognize this story if they come across it, but as for their browsing preferences outside the subreddits that we frequent on, I can't say. As for Catherine, people have questioned why I didn't do more to her, or why I stuck

around for as long as I did. Honestly, I almost did kick her out after a few days, but I wanted to gather evidence and show proof of her cheating so that everyone she knew would know what she had done. She is a major socialite, her words, and I knew by exposing her it would kill her reputation. As for what happened to her, I have been told that she moved to another state just recently after being transferred. From the people I have spoken to today, she was put mainly on administrative duties before her transfer, as there was quite a bit of backlash after the rumor mill made its way around town. People have questioned the legality of what I did to her, moving all her stuff out, sending her and some friends a good amount on the trip, etc. Morally, I can see that it's a

pretty dick move to build up her expectations of what she thought was going to happen. This, combined with killing her status around town, was my ultimate goal, to have her experience what it was like to have everything fall around you. But, from a legal standpoint, I had every right. In the time she had been living with me, she had never updated any of her personal information, driver's license, voting registration, etc. To reflect that she had moved into my house. I found out this information during the course of my preparation with my lawyer after I spoke to her slash legal.

With no concrete proof on paper to show that she was residing there, and because we hadn't met the de facto status, I was able to do what I did with no threat of backlash. Finally, for those of you saying how my story is fake, that I am a karma whore, a sociopath in this day and age, who doesn't have some sociopathic tendencies, and pointing to my malicious compliance story also as proof, I will be honest and let you know that I will not try to change your minds on this. That story, which I only edited in the basics of the conversation because I can't remember all of it, did in fact take place and made national news coverage shortly after. If I ever find the article, I will link it as it was or was at the time close to one of the largest roaming bills or company had ever passed on to a customer. I hope you enjoy this story. Returned home ahead of schedule from work journey to discover that my spouse's former romantic partner had fully relocated to our residence and was preparing intimate meals for him as he deceived me. For three days about her mom being there.

My husband Casper broke his leg three weeks ago in a stupid accident at work and now he has this huge cast and he cannot walk properly and needs help with basic things like getting food and going to the bathroom sometimes. I have been taking care of him every single day since it happened and I took time off work and everything to make sure he was okay and comfortable. But last week my boss called me and said I had to go to this conference in Denver for five days because our biggest client specifically requested me to present our new project and if I did, did not go we might lose the contract and that would be really bad for everyone at the company. Casper said I should go because we need the money and he would be fine by himself for a few days and his mom Sophia could check on him if he needed anything. I did not want to leave him but he kept saying he would be okay and that I was being too worried about nothing.

Sophia has always been weird about me and Casper's relationship and she never really accepted that we got married two years ago. She always makes these little comments about how Casper's ex-girlfriend Ashley was so much better at cooking and how Ashley used to help Casper with his work stuff and how Ashley was studying to be a nurse so she would know how to take care of people when they are hurt. Ashley and Casper dated for three years before we met and Sophia always talks about her like she was the perfect daughter-in-law that got away. I told Casper that I did not trust his mother to just check on him and that maybe we should ask my sister to stay with him instead

but he said his mom would be hurt if we did not let her help and that I was being paranoid about Ashley because they broke up four years ago and she lives two hours away now and works at some hospital. He kept saying I was making drama where there was no drama and that his mom just wanted to help her injured son. So I went to Denver on Monday morning and I called Casper every few hours to check on him and he always said he was fine and his mom had brought him some food and he was watching TV on Tuesday. He said the same thing and on Wednesday. When I called him around lunchtime he sounded a little weird like he was hiding something, but when I asked him what was wrong, he said his leg was just hurting more than usual and his mom had given him some pain medicine that made him sleepy. Wednesday night I tried calling him around nine and he did not answer his phone which was really strange because he always answers when I call and he knows I get worried when he does not pick up. I called three more times and then I called Sophia and she said Casper was probably just sleeping and that I should not worry so much. Something felt wrong but I did not know what to do because I was 800 miles away. Thursday morning I called Casper and he answered but he sounded really weird and distracted and when I asked him how he was feeling he said he was fine and his mom was taking good care of him.

When I asked him what he had for breakfast, he said his mom made him eggs and toast, but then he said something about how the eggs were made exactly the way he likes them, which was weird because Sophia never cooks for Casper the way he likes anything and she usually just gets him fast food when she comes over. I had this really bad feeling in my stomach and I could not concentrate on the conference at all and I kept thinking about how Casper was acting strange and how Sophia was being too helpful all of a sudden. During my lunch break I called my neighbor who lives across the street and I asked her if she had seen Sophia's car at our house and she said she had seen a different car there yesterday and today that she did not recognize and it was a blue Honda with some nursing stickers on the back window. That was when I knew something was really wrong because Sophia drives a red truck and she does not know any nurses except Ashley and Ashley drives a blue Honda because Casper told me about it before. I immediately booked my flight to come home Thursday night instead of Friday afternoon and I did not tell Casper I was coming home early because I wanted to see what was really going on. The flight was delayed for two hours and I did not get home until almost 11 at night and when my Uber turned onto our street I saw the blue Honda parked in our driveway like it belonged there. I sat in the car for two minutes just staring at it and trying to figure out what I was going to do and then I decided I was not going to sneak around my own house like some crazy person so I just walked up to the front door and used my key. When I opened the door I could smell food cooking and I heard Casper laughing from the living room which was confusing because he had not been laughing much since he got hurt and usually he just watches TV and complains about being bored.

I walked toward the kitchen and I saw dirty dishes in the sink and there were groceries on the counter that I did not buy and there was a woman's jacket hanging on the chair that was definitely not mine. I went to the living room and there was Casper sitting on the couch with his leg up and there was Ashley sitting next to him with her hand on his arm and they were watching some movie together and laughing like nothing was wrong. When Casper saw me he got this look on his face like he had been caught doing something bad and Ashley just stared at me like I was the one who did not belong there. I asked Casper what Ashley was doing in our house and he started stuttering and saying that his mom thought it would be good to have someone with medical training to help him while I was gone and that Ashley had some vacation days so she offered to help out. Ashley just sat there smiling and said she was happy to help Casper recover and that she had been staying in the guest room to make sure he was okay during the night in case he needed anything. I asked Casper why he did not tell me that Ashley was going to be staying in our house and he said he did not want me to worry and that he knew I would get up something. set for no reason and that Ashley was just helping him as a friend. I told him that I had specifically asked him every day how he was doing and who was taking care of him and he lied to me every single

time and said it was just his mom helping him. Casper got angry and said I was being jealous and crazy and that Ashley was a professional nurse and she knew how to take care of injured people better than I did and that his mom thought it was a good idea. He said I should be grateful that he had good care while I was away working instead of being mad about it and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. I looked around the living room and I saw that Ashley had moved a bunch of her stuff in there including some books and a blanket and her purse and it looked like she had been living there for days. I asked her how long she had been staying in my house and she said she got there Tuesday afternoon when Sophia called her and asked her to come

help Casper and that she was planning to stay until I got back on Friday. I told Ashley that she needed to pack her things and leave right now because I was home and I could take care of my own husband and she did not need to be there anymore. Ashley looked at Casper like she was waiting for him to say something and Casper said I was being rude and that Ashley had driven two hours to help him and she should at least be able to stay the night since it was so late. I told Casper that I did not care how late it was and that Ashley was not spending another night in our house and that she could drive back to her own place or get a hotel room but

she was not staying here. Casper started yelling at me and saying I was being unreasonable and paranoid and that Ashley was just trying to help him and I was acting like she was trying to steal him away from me. I yelled back that his mother had no right to invite his ex-girlfriend to stay in our house without asking me, and that he had no right to lie to me about it for three days and that if he needed a nurse so badly he could have gone to stay with his mother or me getting my sister to help instead of having his ex-girlfriend move into our home. Casper said I was being dramatic and that nothing happened between him and Ashley and that I was embarrassing myself by acting so jealous. Ashley finally stood up and said she could see that I was upset and that she would pack her things and leave, but that she was only trying to help and that she thought I would appreciate someone taking good care of Casper while I was working. I told her that if she really wanted to help, she would have suggested that Casper stayed with Sophia or that Sophia could stay here instead of moving herself into my house like she lived here.

Ashley went upstairs to get her stuff and I followed her because I wanted to make sure she actually left and when I got to the guest room I saw that she had completed. moved in with all her clothes and the dresser and her toiletries in the bathroom and even some of her food in a mini fridge we keep up there. It looked like she was planning to stay for weeks, not just a few days. I asked her what she thought she was doing, moving all her stuff into my house and she said Sophia told her that Casper might need help for a few weeks while his leg healed and that I traveled for work a lot so it would be good to have someone nearby who could take care of him. I told her that Sophia had no right to make that decision and that I did not travel for work a lot and that this was the first business trip I had taken in over a year.

Ashley said she was just trying to be helpful and that she and Casper were still friends and that she cared about him and wanted him to get better quickly. I told her that if she really cared about him she would respect his marriage and not move into his house when his wife was not there and that what she did was inappropriate and wrong. Casper came upstairs on his crutches and he was breathing hard from climbing the stairs and he told me to stop harassing Ashley and that she was just being nice and that I was making her feel bad for no reason. I told Casper that Ashley was not just being nice and that moving into someone's house for days without telling their spouse was not normal helpful behavior and that he

knew it was wrong or he would not have lied to me about it. Ashley finished packing her stuff and she came downstairs and Casper hobbled after us and when she got to the door she turned around and told Casper that if he needed anything else he should call her and that she hoped his leg felt better soon. Casper thanked her for everything and said he was sorry that I was being so difficult and that he appreciated all her help. After Ashley left I went into the kitchen and I saw that she had cooked a whole dinner and left it on the stove and there were two plates set out on the table with candles in the middle like they were having some romantic dinner together. I asked Casper about the candles and he said Ashley just thought it would be nice to make dinner special

since he had been eating boring food for weeks and that it was not romantic it was just thoughtful. I told Casper that having candle-like dinners with his ex-girlfriend while I was out of town was not appropriate and that he knew I would be upset about it if I found out and that was why he lied to me about Ashley being there. Casper said I was reading too much into everything and that Ashley was just being a good friend and that the candles were not a big deal and that I was acting crazy. We got into a huge fight where I was yelling that he lied to me and betrayed my trust and that his mother had no right to invite his ex-girlfriend to live in our house and that he should

have told Sophia no when she suggested it. Casper was yelling that I was being paranoid and jealous and that nothing inappropriate happened and that Ashley was a professional who was just helping him recover and that I should be grateful instead of angry. Casper said I was being controlling and that Ashley was a better caregiver than I was because she actually knew what she was doing and that his leg felt better after three days with Ashley than it had in weeks with me taking care of him. I told him that if Ashley was such a great caregiver maybe he should go live with her instead of me and that if he wanted his ex-girlfriend

taking care of him so badly he should have married her instead. So, Ida for kicking my husband's ex-GF out. Update 1. I have not been able to sleep at all and Casper is acting like nothing happened and like I am the one who did something wrong. This morning he asked me to make him breakfast and when I said I was not hungry he said I was being petty and that he still needed help with things because his leg was still broken whether I was mad at him or not. I called in sick to work because I could not focus on anything and I needed to figure out what I was going to do about this whole situation. I called my sister Aria and told her everything that happened and she said that what Sophia and Casper did was completely inappropriate and that I had every right to be

angry and that Casper lying to me about Ashley being there was a huge red flag. Aria said that if her husband's ex-girlfriend moved into their house while she was away and he lied to her about it she would be filing for divorce immediately and that I was being too nice about the whole thing. I told Aria that I did not want to get divorced over this, but that I felt like I could not trust Casper anymore and that I did not know how to get past the fact that he lied to me for three days. Casper's friend Lance came over around noon to check on him and Casper told him the whole story but he made it sound like I was being crazy and unreasonable and that Ashley was just helping him out as a favor and that I was too jealous to appreciate it.

Lance said that if his wife acted the way I was acting he would be really annoyed and that Casper was lucky to have friends who cared enough to help him when he was hurt. I heard them talking and I went downstairs and I told Lance that he did not know the whole story and that Casper had lied to me about Ashley being there and that she had moved all her stuff into our house without my knowledge and that they were having romantic dinners together while I was working. Lance said that Casper already told him about the dinner and that it was not romantic. It was just Ashley being nice and making good food. I asked Lance how he would feel if his wife's ex-boyfriend moved into their house while he was out of town and lied to him about it for three days

and had candlelight dinners with his wife. Lance said that was different because Ashley was a nurse and she was helping Casper with medical stuff and that Casper's situation was special because he could not take care of himself. Casper said that Lance understood the situation better than I did and that maybe I should listen to what other people were saying instead of just assuming the worst about everything. I told Casper that I did not care what Lance thought because Lance was not married to me and he did not have to deal with the consequences of Casper lying to him and betraying his trust. Lance left after that and Casper said I was embarrassing him in front of his friends. and that I was making him look bad by acting so paranoid and jealous.

I told Casper that he made himself look bad by lying to me and that if he was embarrassed, maybe he should have thought about that before he decided to let his ex-girlfriend move into our house. I went for a long drive to clear my head and when I came back, Casper was on the phone with someone and he was talking really quietly and when he saw me, he hung up quickly and said it was just his doctor's office calling about his next appointment. I asked him why he hung up so fast if it was just the doctor's. and he said he was done talking to them anyway and that I was being paranoid again. I don't know what to do is my marriage over Reddit.

Update 2. Sophia came over this morning without calling first and she brought Casper some soup and when she saw me she acted like nothing had happened and asked me how my business trip went. I told Sophia that we needed to talk about what she did while I was gone and that it was not okay for her to invite Ashley to stay in our house without asking me first. Sophia said that Casper needed proper medical care and that Ashley was a qualified nurse who knew how to help him and that she thought I would be grateful that Casper was in good hands while I was working. I told Sophia that if Casper needed medical care that badly she should have taken him to the hospital or hired a real nurse not invited his ex-girlfriend to move into our house. Sophia said that Ashley was a real nurse and that she was happy to help Casper for free and that hiring a professional nurse would have cost thousands of dollars that we could not afford.

I told Sophia that we did not ask her to find medical care for Casper and that she had no right to make decisions about our house and our marriage without talking to me first. Sophia got angry and said that I was being selfish and that I cared more about my job than about Casper's health and that if I was a better wife I would have stayed home to take care of him instead of going to some stupid conference. I told Sophia that the conference was not stupid. It was my job and that married couples make decisions together and that what she did was wrong and disrespectful.

Sophia said that Ashley was family to her and that she would always be welcome in her life and that if I could not handle Casper having good friends then maybe I was not the right person for him. I told Sophia that Ashley was not family. She was Casper's ex-girlfriend and that Sophia needed to respect my marriage and stopped trying to interfere Casper told us both to stop fighting and that he was tired of all the drama and that he just wanted everyone to get along and help him get better.

Sophia said she was just trying to help her son and that she was sorry if I was upset but that she would do the same thing again if Casper needed help and I was not available. I told Sophia that if she ever invited anyone to stay in my house again without my permission I would not let her come over anymore and that she needed to understand that Casper and I were married and that meant she could not make decisions about our lives without consulting both of us. Sophia said I was being threatening and controlling and that Casper was her son and she would always put his needs first. Sophia left after that and Casper said I was being too harsh with his mother and that she was just trying to help and that I should not have threatened her.

I told Casper that his mother disrespected our marriage and our home and that if he could not see that then we had bigger problems than I thought. I also called my mom and told her what happened and she said that Sophia was completely out of line and that what she did was inappropriate and that Casper should have stood up for me instead of defending his mother and Ashley. My mom said that when you get married your spouse comes first and that Casper was not acting like a married man. My mom offered to come stay with us for a few days to help with Casper so that I could go back to work and not worry about what Sophia might do next but Casper said he did not want my mom staying here and that his leg was getting better and he did not need that much help anymore.

I asked Casper why my mom could not stay here but Ashley could and he said that was different because Ashley was a medical professional. I pointed out that my mom raised four kids and took care of my dad when he had surgery last year and that she knew how to help people who were hurt but Casper said that was not the same thing as having real medical training. I told Casper that he was making excuses because he liked having Ashley here and that he was trying to find reasons to justify what happened. Casper got angry and said that I was twisting everything and that he never asked Ashley to come here and that his mother arranged it and that he was just being polite to someone who was trying to help him.

I told Casper that being polite did not mean lying to me for three days and that being polite did not mean having romantic dinners with his ex-girlfriend. Casper said the dinner was not romantic and that I needed to stop calling it that and that Ashley just made nice food and happened to light some candles and that it did not mean anything special. I asked Casper if he would be okay with me having candlelight dinners with my ex-boyfriend if he was out of town and Casper said that was different because my ex-boyfriend was not a medical professional who was helping me. I told Casper that he was being ridiculous and that he knew what he did was wrong and that he was just trying to make excuses because he did not want to admit it. Casper said that he did not do anything wrong and that I was the one who was acting crazy and that he was getting tired of me making such a big deal about everything. Update 3 Casper's cast came off yesterday and his leg is much better and he can walk around pretty normally now which means he does not need help with basic things anymore. I thought this would make things better between us but Casper is still acting like I was wrong

to be upset about the Ashley's situation and he has not apologized for lying to me or for letting his ex-girlfriend move into our house. I asked Casper if he understood why I was hurt that he lied to me and he said that he did not really lie he just did not mention that Ashley was helping him because he knew I would get upset for no reason. I told Casper that not telling me the truth was the same thing as lying and that he knew I would want to know who was staying in our house while I was gone. Casper said that if I trusted him more I would not have gotten so upset about Ashley being here and that the fact that I was still angry about it proved that I did not really trust him. I told Casper that trust was something

you earned and that lying to your spouse was not the way to earn trust and that he broke my trust. when he decided to hide the truth from me. Casper said that nothing happened between him and Ashley and that they were just friends and that I was being paranoid to think that anything inappropriate was going on. I told Casper that it did not matter if anything physical happened because he still chose to lie. Casper got frustrated and said that I was never going to get over this and that I was going

to hold it against him forever and that he was tired of apologizing for something that was not even a big deal. I told Casper that he had never actually apologized. and that saying sorry would be a good start if he wanted me to get over it. Casper said fine he was sorry that I got upset but that he still did not think he did anything wrong and that he would probably do the same thing again if he was hurt and needed help and I was not available. I told Casper that if he would do the same thing again then he had not learned anything from this situation and that he still did not understand why I was hurt.

Ashley called Casper yesterday afternoon and when he answered the phone he walked out to the garage so I could not hear what they were talking about. When he came back inside, I asked him what Ashley wanted, and he said she was just checking to see how his leg was doing, and that she was glad the cast was off and he was feeling better. I asked Casper why he had to go to the garage to talk to Ashley if it was just about his leg and he said he went out there because he knew I would get upset if I heard him talking to her

and that he was trying to avoid another fight. I told Casper that hiding his conversations with Ashley was just another form of lying, and that if he had nothing to hide, he would not need to sneak around to talk to her. Casper said that he was not sneaking around and that he just wanted to have a normal conversation with a friend without me analyzing every word and making it into something it was not. I told Casper that Ashley was not just a friend. She was his ex-girlfriend and that most married people did not have private phone conversations with their ex-girlfriends, especially after what happened.

Casper said that I was being controlling and that he should be able to talk to whoever he wanted and that Ashley was part of his life before I was, and that he was not going to cut off all contact with her just because I was insecure. I told Casper that I was not asking him to cut off all contact, but that I expected him to be honest about when they talked and that I expected him to respect my feelings about the situation. My sister Aria came over for dinner last night

and she could tell that things were still tense between me and Casper, and she asked me privately if we were doing okay. I told Aria that Casper still did not think he did anything wrong, and that he was still talking to Ashley and hiding it from me and that I did not know what to do next. Aria said that Casper was acting like a single and that if he could not see why what he did was wrong then maybe he was not ready to be married. Aria said that her husband would never let his ex-girlfriend move into their house and lie to her about it and that if he did she would be looking for a divorce lawyer.

Casper overheard part of our conversation and after Aria left he asked me if I was thinking about getting divorced and I told him that I did not want to but that I felt like he did not respect me or our marriage. Casper said that he did respect me in our marriage and that he never wanted to hurt me and that he thought Ashley's staying here was just a practical solution to a temporary problem. Casper said that he did not call me because he knew I would say no and that he really needed help and Ashley was the best option available. I told Casper that was exactly the problem because in a marriage both people get to have input on major decisions and that he did not get to just do whatever he wanted because he thought I might disagree with him.

Casper said that he understood that now and that if something like this happened again he would handle it differently but that he could not change what already happened and that he wished I could just forgive him and move on. I told Casper that forgiveness was not something that happened overnight and that he needed to show me that he understood why what he did was wrong and that he was committed to rebuilding my trust. Casper asked me what he needed to do to prove that to me and I told him that first he needed to stop talking to Ashley and that if she called him he needed to tell her that it was not appropriate for them to have private conversations anymore.

Casper said that seemed extreme and that Ashley was just being a friend and that cutting her off completely would be mean and unnecessary. I told Casper that Ashley was not just being a friend and that friends do not move into your house and have candlelight dinners with you while your spouse is out of town and that if he wanted to save our marriage he needed to prioritize our relationship over his friendship with his ex-girlfriend. Casper said he would think about it, but that he did not want to be cruel to Ashley when she was just trying to help him. I do not know what else I can do to make Casper understand that what

happened was not okay and that our marriage has to come first before his ex-girlfriend's feelings. I feel like I am the only one fighting for our relationship and that Casper is more concerned about protecting Ashley than he is about fixing things with me. I hope you enjoy this story. Mother evicted me due to her recent partner following the passing of my father and excluded me from her upcoming nuptials. Consequently, I contacted my grandparents and now she is facing the loss of our residence. Her engagement. So my dad passed away about a year ago after a really long struggle with brain cancer.

We knew that he was not going to make it as soon as he had been diagnosed because the doctors had told us that it was a little too late for him. but we still tried our very best to keep the treatments going and he put on a brave face for us. But ultimately, we lost him. He was my best friend ever since I was a kid and even though I definitely love my mom, I loved him a lot more. After he passed away, I felt like a piece of me had left with him, and I was never going to get that piece back. So naturally, I was quite emotionally affected by his demise and for the past one year,

I've been quite lost. I was 16 back then and recently, I turned 17 and I decided to take a gap year after I graduated high school because I need some time to figure out what I want to do with my life. I'm privileged enough to have that choice since my family has been supportive of my decisions so far. So I'm going to work and figure out what I want to do in the future until then. I planned on staying back home since I didn't want to waste money renting an apartment for myself. However, my mother had her boyfriend move in with us a couple months ago and even though I was not exactly fine with it, I had to pretend like it was not a big deal because I did not want to

hurt my mother or question her feelings for my dad. But I found it quite odd that she had started dating this guy just six months after my dad had passed away because I thought it was too soon. I even casually brought it up with my mother and she told me that she missed my dad, but at some point she would have to move on. and the guy she was dating, she had known him since they were in high school and they had drifted apart for a bit when he moved away, but had reconnected recently when he had come back here. Apparently, he was the one who had been there for her all along, even when my dad had

been diagnosed and recently, when he had confessed his feelings for her, she decided to go for it because she had really grown to care for him. So after having dated for three months, she had him move in with us so we could bond because they were getting married soon. A couple of weeks ago, they got officially engaged and after the engagement party, my mother told me that she had to speak to me in private, and that was when she told me that once she was married. She would want me to move out since she did not want me to be part of her and neither did she want me staying with him anymore because she wanted to start afresh and both she and her partner agreed that this would be for the best. So just to be clear, it has been only a year since my dad

passed away and just six months after his demise, my mom started seeing this guy. She told me about it after she had been out for a couple of days with him and three months after that, she had him move in with us. I was fine with that because she was trying to move on and she knew what was best for her. She had also been a good mother to me so far and when my dad was alive, she had also been a good wife to him. So I had no reason to question her and I respected her decision, even though I did not necessarily agree with it or think it was a good idea. But I thought that I was too young to know anything, so I kept me. my mouth shut. Now, it has been almost three months since her boyfriend has been living with

us and four weeks ago, a few days after they got engaged. She told me that she wanted me to move out by the time they started the preparation for the wedding that was going to be in a couple of months, maybe five or six at most. I think it would be very obvious to anyone with even half a brain that she was rushing things and it was completely unnecessary. It was also kind of disrespectful to my dad's memory because it had not been that long since he passed away. Anyway, after she told me that she would want me to move out and wouldn't want me to be a part of her new family, I didn't even know what to tell her. So I just asked her why exactly had she made this decision because as far as I could recall, she had said that she wanted her fiancé to be living with us

so we could get to know each other and bond, which would be good for us because eventually she planned on marrying him and then we would all be living together. And now, all of a sudden, she wanted me to find a place of my own, it just didn't add up. She did not seem inclined to tell me the real reason, but then, when I kept insisting that I wanted to know, she told me that her fiancé wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of me continuing to live with them even after they got married because I would be a constant reminder of her previous relationship. The guy had told her that he had apparently been in love with her ever since they were in high school, but had never been able to work up the courage to ask her out and then they sort of lost touch when they were in

college. Eventually, my mom ended up marrying my dad and they didn't speak for many years. But he had always resented my father for being able to get to her first and now that he was finally out of the way, he didn't want me here. She told me that her fiancé didn't even want me to be invited to the wedding because he thought that it was cold and hateful and I did not approve of their relationship. So, he wanted me out because he thought that I was against their relationship and he believed that I would prove to be quite toxic if I was at the wedding or even in their lives. I couldn't even believe that she was entertaining this idea, and she told me that she had tried to fight for me, saying that I was just lost and kind of distant from everyone at this point

because I still missed my dad but her fiancé had made up his mind and had given her an ultimatum. She could either choose my side or she could chose him. And very, obviously, she had made her choice, so she was asking me to stay out. She told me that she had talked her fiancé into at least letting me stay until I was able to find a place, but after that, they would require me to leave as soon as the wedding got close. That day was horrible for me because I had a huge fight with my mom, naturally. I told her that she was a coward, and she was incredibly selfish for choosing her fiancé over me. We were shouting at each other, so her fiancé was able to overhear what was going on and he came to her rescue.

and he started accusing me of never even trying to give him a chance and creating a very hostile environment for him ever since he had moved in. I don't think that was true, I just didn't go out of my way to speak to him, and I was only polite to him, but didn't treat him with any extra love or affection. I think that's pretty normal, so I don't even know why he was expecting that because I had just lost my father, I was obviously still trying to process that and I was not ready to build a relationship with him as my stepdad so soon. Anyway, he started accusing me of being hostile.

I told him that he had no right to say anything at all to me because this was my house and he couldn't kick me out. So then, things got much worse and he told me that he could definitely kick me out because it was my mother's choice not to have me here since I was the face of her past mistakes. That comment made me so mad that I ended up attacking him and scratched his face up real bad. My mother had to separate us and then, she told me that she would call the cops if I did not leave so I packed some of my things and I headed over to my grandparents' place. I went to live with my paternal grandparents because my mom's parents live out of state

and I'm not very close with them. Once I was there, I explained the entire situation to them, and they decided to take matters into their own hands. They had already known all about my mother, trying to move on just six months after their son had passed away, but just like me, they had not questioned either. They had wanted to respect her wishes and let her let her live her life the way she wanted to because we were sure that my dad's demise was tough on her as well. All of us had wanted to give this relationship a chance, but she had proven that she was not the same person she had been when my dad was still around. Anyway, once I told my grandparents what had happened, they decided to cut off her funds. Apparently, ever since

things got too bad with my dad's health, he had to quit his job and my grandparents were the ones who had been funding everything. My mom works in publishing and has a decent income on her own, but my dad used to be a dentist and quite a well-known one at that. So the kind of lifestyle that we were used to, my mother couldn't maintain that on her own income, and so, my grandparents had been chipping in so that I wouldn't have to make any sacrifices and I'm incredibly privileged for that. After my father passed away, they continued to support us by sending my mother money, even after she started dating somebody else. They were doing all of this because they did not want me to be uncomfortable and I was still young, so it was my mom taking care of me so they sent

the money to her. They wanted to make sure that she was taken care of because she and my dad had been together for a long time, and my grandparents had genuinely considered her the daughter that they never had. But since I had left home, they decided that they were going to cut off her funds, and that would mean that she would not be able to afford the lavish wedding that she was planning. It was pretty stupid on her part to even kick me out because if she knew that she had been counting on the money that my grandparents had been sending, then she should have at least waited until the wedding had happened to kick me out. I found out about this because the day that I got kicked out, and I told my grandparents everything. They called her up and got into a fight with her,

and later on, she messaged me saying that I was the reason she would have to scale her way down and even her fiancé was upset because he had not known that she had been living off of her in-law's money so far. He thought that she was able to afford that lifestyle all on her own and well, let's just say that he had been in for a nasty surprise. But the cherry on top is the fact that nobody knew that even the house that we had been living in was owned and paid for by my grandparents. My dad had never brought it up because he didn't think that it would ever be necessary, but the house had a wedding gift from my grandparents to him. My grandparents had tried to transfer the deed of the house to him, but my dad had declined and said

that he wanted my grandparents to retain ownership of the house legally so that if my grandparents ever were in need, they would be able to sell the property in the future. And by then, he hoped to be successful enough to move out on such short notice and not care about it. Had he been alive, he definitely would have been able to do so, so I guess he lived up to that. Anyway, for whatever reason, my dad had made sure that my grandparents retained legal ownership of that house and now, my mother was upset because she was getting kicked out of the house herself and didn't have a place to play happy family in. And guess what, the best part is that she's blaming me for all of this as if I'm the one

who started it. The only thing that I did was complain to my grandparents because I was the one being wrong and I don't think that was with an intention to take revenge on her. It was just something that happened because I needed somebody to talk to. to. She screwed herself over, not me. But anyway, she has been sending me messages about how she had been planning on adopting twins because that's what she had always wanted and after marriage, she and her fiancé were going to apply, but now, they had to rethink everything and come up with a new plan for their life and it was all because of me. She said that she has been feeling

humiliated since she doesn't know when she's going to get married anymore and has no idea where she's even going to live. And instead of being sorry about any of this, she has been blaming me, saying that the least I could have done for her was at least give her some time like she had done for me. Apparently, she thought that she had fought for me and showed me that she cared, but I didn't do the same for her. She believes that she has been betrayed and I can't even come up with a single logical train of thought that would explain why my mom thinks that she has been betrayed by me after everything that's happened. She had been trying to call me and stuff, and then I blocked her without any response because I did not think that I owed it to her. After all, she did not think

that she owed me an explanation when she decided that she was going to pick her fiancé over me. But blocking her didn't even help, she came up with other ways to contact me and bother me and relentlessly keep sending me messages, reminding me that this was all my fault. It got way too much for me to handle, so I decided to respond to her once and for all and end this. She had been using fake accounts and throw away email addresses on social media to keep sending me messages. So I decided to respond to one of them and I told her that this was all her fault and she needed to stop blaming me for it. I told her that I was glad that I had ruined her life and now, she wasn't sure at what time she was going to get married or where she was going to live

or how she was going to adopt the kids that she was planning on adopting with her fiancé. Most of all, I was glad that she wouldn't be able to build a family because just in case she had forgotten, she had already done that once. She already had a family and I was a part of it, but look how she treated me. And if this is her idea of how families should be treated, especially your own children, then I guess it's for the best that she isn't going to get the opportunity to adopt kids anymore. I told her that she wasn't fit to be a mother since she she had found it more reasonable to choose her fiancé over me, for no real reason. Then, I even questioned if she had actually been loyal to my dad at all because the speed

at which she and her relationship with her fiancé was moving. It was questionable whether she even missed my father. I had tried my best to respect her decisions, but unfortunately, she had proven that she was not worthy of my respect and now, whatever my grandparents were doing, I was going to stand by and let them handle it because I thought it was the right thing to do. and she would have to look for a place and move out because that's exactly what she had been trying to do to me and this is just karma hitting her back. I sent this message and after that, the chaos that has followed, I don't even know what to say about it.

Right now, my family is divided because some people think that I said a lot of things that were not necessary and some people think that my mother deserved it. The only reason the rest of the family was unable to find out about it was because my mom posted the entire exchange on social media and I guess it was kind of fair. Since she did every single detail, she didn't leave out her own faults. But she also made it seem like I was overreacting and that after having raised me, this was not what she deserved. I'm glad that some people are on my side but the ones who are with my mother on this. I don't know how to feel about that since it's not like these people have always been against me, they are my relatives and even

they have adored me, but this time, they think that I went too far. So what do you guys think? I'd offer telling my mother that I don't think she's fit to be a mother after she chose her fiancée over me? Update 1. Hi, everyone. Thank you to everyone who has responded to my post and commented on it. It means a lot that you guys took out the time to do so. Anyway, coming to what's going on with my family, I think it's better for me not to pay any mind to the people who are not on my side on this one because I did whatever I thought was appropriate and my grandparents think that at this stage. It was necessary for me to speak up because my mom doesn't have the right to go out of her way to make me feel guilty for something that was not even my fault and expect me to take it

without a word. I stood up for myself and they thought it was the right thing to do, that's all that matters to me. But that's just my paternal grandparents. My mom's parents are obviously on her side here and they think that I should apologize to her and try to make it all right with her because they think that I had been vindictive and cruel. So I did the only reasonable thing, I blocked them as well, and I'm going to make sure that they are not able to contact me after this since if they can't even see their own daughter's faults, I don't think they have any business commenting on mine. It's been a while since I left home and my grandparents have already stopped sending her money, since there was no formal arrangement. They were just doing it

out of the kindness of their heart. And the only thing that's left to do is evict them so I can have the house to myself again. My grandparents have already spoken to their lawyers and have the eviction notice prepared, so my mom is going to be served in a couple of days. Some of you had been asking if my mother had any idea that the house did not actually belong to my father and that it belongs to my grandparents and, well, I don't really know. I don't think she knew, because otherwise she might have gotten him to transfer the property to her. My grandparents handled the property tax, but my dad paid the money, so even if she had been living

in that house for a really long time, it didn't matter because she didn't have anything to do with it legally. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to having her evicted so I can have the house to myself again because I feel like she deserves to be taught a lesson. Dealing with my emotions had been extremely difficult for me for the past year, ever since my father passed away, and she knew that. She had seen me at my lowest and she knew how much I missed him but Still, she went out of her way to make me miserable and chose her fiancé over me, her only

child. Also, about her fiancé, I don't even know what's wrong with that guy. I think I had complained about this in my original post as well, but well, I hate him, so I'm going to complain about it again. I don't know why exactly he just assumed that I did not like him, I was just indifferent to him, and it was not even anything personal, I was just because I was grieving the loss of my father. God forbid he doesn't receive attention from his future stepdaughter for one second. And on top of that, he had the audacity to call me a reminder of my mom's past mistakes. I think he has to be the biggest mistake my mom has ever made. I can't imagine anybody being creepy enough to wait for a woman's husband to pass away so he can hit on her

and I can't believe my mother was stupid enough to fall for it. So I don't feel bad for her at all anymore and I think that she totally deserves it. and anyone who is on her side here can take a hike and leave me alone forever. I'm going to keep track of who's siding with her right now, so that in the future, I never interact with these people ever again. It might seem petty and small for me to do so, but I don't even care. This is a big deal for me. The only good thing that has come out of this is that she has stopped sending me messages

after I responded to her, so I think it was worth it. She still has that post, though, which honestly doesn't even matter to me because I told my relatives not to keep sending it to me and that I didn't care about it at all. She can play the victim all that she wants. It's not going to change the reality and it's definitely not going to change the fact that in a few days, she's going to be served with an eviction notice and then she will have to leave her house. And I personally can't wait for that to happen. Update 2. It happened and I haven't ever been happier. I feel like a bad person for being so happy right now, but I don't care, my mom got served with the eviction notice today and had a total mental breakdown

on social media. After she was served, she went live on Facebook and a bunch of my relatives witnessed her completely breaking down. She was sobbing like crazy and I would have felt bad for her if she hadn't actually taken the time to set up the camera and then act dramatic for her audience. She started talking about how she had raised me and my father would have been so disappointed in me today, as if I couldn't say the same thing for her. My mom was acting as if I had an issue with the fact that she was dating again and was trying to move on, which was not even the case. I had an issue with the fact that she was trying to kick me out of the house and make me seem

like the bad guy for simply standing up for myself. I didn't even care that she had told me about not being invited to the wedding, but I had an issue with the fact that her fiancé thought that I was toxic and wanted me out of the house that I had lived in with my father. If he had a problem with me, he could leave. And that's the energy that my mother should have had as well, but unfortunately, she thought that giving me time to move out was the more reasonable thing to do here. She had been crying on the floor and beating the floor with her fists.

You know how people act in films and she thought that people were going to sympathize with her and some people were doing that, but most people were just calling her out on her BS because they knew the entire story. A lot of my relatives who were on my side had screened recorded the entire thing and sent it to me and I have to say, it's pathetic how she had been acting. I had already been quite embarrassed of how she had been acting for the past couple of weeks, but now I'm downright ashamed of it. I hate the fact that I'm related to her and I'm always going to be known as her daughter because this is just weird and psychotic. Anyway, I'm just happy that even after breaking down on social

media and trying to play the victim so badly, it didn't matter because she is still going to have to vacate the house and be gone by the end of the month. On a more serious note, I hope she sees therapy because it's very obvious to me now that she needs intensive care for her declining mental health since I literally can't imagine anybody who is normal acting like this. Update 3. Hi, guys. So my mother has moved out, officially. And the house is empty now, so I can move in in a couple of days, but I'm going to wait it out.

I've really enjoyed living with my grandparents and I don't want to give up on that so soon. So I'm going to be staying with them for a few more weeks or maybe even months. I haven't decided yet. Anyway, I have more news about my mother, so apparently she and her fiancé have called off their engagement and have separated. They did not mention any reasons for it on social media, but I have heard from a couple of relatives that she has been telling people that it's because he couldn't handle the fact that she was acting so unstable.

I mean, after her recent behavior, I wouldn't blame anybody for leaving her because it has been pretty psychotic. But she has been justifying it all, claiming that it's been happening because she has been having a really tough time coping with her emotions after my father passed away. And even if I do believe that it just explains her actions, it doesn't excuse them. She has been telling the relatives who had been on her side through this entire thing about what she has been going through. And I really think she needs to reevaluate who she's supposed to about these things, because the gossip is spreading and I'm pretty sure that the one she has chosen to trust other ones who are talking about her behind her back. Otherwise, I wouldn't have

gotten to know about all of these things. Anyway, that's her choice now. To be honest, everything said and done, I do feel kind of bad for her. She is my mother and both of us lost somebody incredibly important to us last year. I don't think my dad would have liked to see us like this, but I can't help it. I really wanted to accept her and make our relationship work, even though she was doing things that I did not approve of. But I don't think she valued the fact that I was trying my very best to accept her and her fiancé and she decided to go out of her way to change her life, according to her partner. She should have stood her ground and stood up for me instead, and maybe we would be having a nice life now. Instead, she put everything at risk so she could have a new family

and a new life and put me in the past. That backfired on her. And now, she doesn't have a daughter, she doesn't have a fiancé, and she doesn't even have her own home because from what I've heard, she has had to move into a really tiny apartment, which is all she could find on such short notice. I feel bad for her, but at the same time, she brought this on herself. I just hope that at some point in the future, she comes to her senses and apologizes. But even if it doesn't happen, I'm fine with it because I have my grandparents by my side and I'm going to work hard for my future, just like my father wanted me to. At last, I ended my relationship with my partner who attempted to exploit me financially

and persistently pressured me to assume responsibility for his daughter as if she were my own. My significant other, Ben, aged 37. M-42, has been asking weird questions and expecting me to do things that would go against my plans for my own family. Things have been working out for me in the past few years, but this year has been amazing. I decided to cut down on my daily workload a bit after I got three accounts that are helping me reach some financial goals. I'm planning on buying a house for my family. I downsized my current living situation, renting, after my kids went to live, temporarily, with my parents for this semester while I completed my certified training and graduated from my present program in uni. My new place isn't as nice looking as other places, but the price

was a good cut from living expenses for me. I can both walk to the office and uni, and I hardly have to move my car for anything. I'm saving money that I'm putting in an account for my kids. Ben absolutely hates my place. It's clean and in a relatively safe area. It's just that it's a mix of student area slash old families and traffic can get messy from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. and some houses are simple and elegant and some look like tacky addons. I don't care if my place doesn't look nice on the outside. It's not like it's an eyesore, and it's up to me to make it livable on the inside. I had two other choices. Choice A cost 200 less than my previous place, with access to a community pool and two bedrooms. I don't need more than one bedroom at the moment and I don't really

have time to enjoy the pool. Choice B was a bit lower, but about 45 minutes away. It was beautiful and close to the school where Ben's kid went. He did hint at it, but he would have needed to get on the lease and come up with the difference between this place and my new studio apartment that I chose. Also, living together is a major decision, and right now, I really need to focus on my career and education. He said he understood, but he didn't take it well. He told me that his daughter was disappointed because she would have liked a nice place to hang out. Ben lives in an apartment. It's an average place with no problems or issues. So what he said came out as a weird remark. Fast forward, and he started asking questions.

First, he asked if I would be interested in partnering with him for a business idea. I said no because I already made a commitment to self-fund my own venture. Second, I'm not familiar with the industry that he wanted to break into. Then, he began noticing things about things that I owned. I'm not hiding that I'm financially stable, but I don't spend a lot. He did notice that I've bought a few nice items and started telling jokes that felt harmless. Then he said that I was loaded and that his daughter would be an awesome protege. I stayed quiet, T.B.H. because I think he might have been offended. But there's no way in hell

that I would allow entrance to what I've built to anyone other than my kids. Also, he said that I should treat his daughter as very special because I only had boys, and she's my chance to have a girl in the family. His words, don't get me wrong, she's a good kid. I have never missed out on gifting her nice and thoughtful presence on her birthdays and the holidays, but his words created a sense of discomfort and disgust for me. It felt like reversed sexism, and I told him. She and I have a decent relationship, but there's no way that I will give her access to my money if that means to treat her as my own. I know this sounds very wrong, but it's how I feel. She's not the kind of kid who's a bully or nasty or anything, but she's not my child and every time that he asks for things,

I feel like he's trying to get me to take from my kids to give to her. It happened again when I gave her a short-term weekend job. The office cleaning lady wasn't available, so I hired his daughter for a Saturday cleaning. She did a good job, I paid her, and took her to the mall to get her some makeup that she wanted, and she came back next weekend. When he picked her up,

he started joking that she would start from the bottom and rise to be top executive like any other kid at their family business. I didn't say anything because she was there, but I did approach him later on and mentioned it to him. I tried to be gentle, but it was important for us to at least discuss expectations. His initial reaction wasn't what I expected. To be fair, I think he got nervous or embarrassed, but I didn't like his reaction. So he said something about me potentially putting her in my will. I'd like to clarify that he laughed, so I think it was a joke, but I also think that he wouldn't

have clarified if I'd gone along. I simply stayed quiet and told him that I cared about his daughter, but it isn't fair to create any expectations. I've worked so hard to give my kids a better future and it's taken me over 10 years and the fact that he only sees the results without taking my past and my ordeal into consideration feels disrespectful. I also mentioned how he wanted me to change my budget and plans for a different property while he knew that moving together isn't an option and that he stayed silent when I mentioned he would have needed to pay the difference on the lease. Also, I mentioned that I would not make unnecessary sacrifices. Nothing else was said.

He stormed out of my car and, this is why I feel like the asshole here, started walking with his hand in his pocket and a weak smirk. I had to drive slowly next to him to convince him to get back inside the car because I hate Dr. David Banner scenes. He looked like a kicked puppy. After I dropped him off, he has been sending me texts about being disconnected from what a blended family actually is, showing that I think his daughter is inferior, being a hypocrite and bullying. This has disturbed my inner peace because I'm just defending whatever legacy I have built,

and having to do it against my partner just doesn't feel right. We talked about it, and he apologized, and I did the same in case I was too harsh. He said we could find some middle ground, and I was open to it. When he talked about helping him create a business for his daughter, I began to get angry because, again, it would be sweat equity for me. I declined because I did all the sweating I had to, but it was for me, and what he's asking just isn't fair. It's a responsibility, and I truly like to do things appropriately.

I don't want to say yes and do it half-ass and I don't want to work for free. I also don't want to mix anything between business and pleasure because it's my network and my contacts and again, it could go very nice and well or it could be a shit show and I don't want that. I'm also concerned that he will ramp up and keep asking and asking for things. He said that if I don't help, he will feel like we will never build anything together. I said he needed to hire a consultant, but he stayed quiet, so I told him that he shouldn't place the responsibility of his present situation on me. He said that I'm probably blinded by my success, but that one day I'll wake up single and lonely.

I asked if he was threatening to leave me, and he said I'm not acting like a helpful partner. I asked for a break, and he freaked out. I'm just trying to keep my mental health in check because his constant asking and jokes have made me anxious. Also, I'm very angry and thinking that he just wants a handout. I texted him this morning asking to talk. I want to break up. He said he hopes I'm not planning on dumping him because it would mean that I just tricked him into a break. He posted something about his own mental health today.

Ida for deciding to end things? We haven't talked yet, but that's my intention. I don't see his kid as inferior at all. I just want to keep my money out of it. Edit. To the judgmental people calling me names for letting my kids live with my parents for this semester only, please enlighten me. Would it be a great option to reject a good opportunity and finish my education to gain your approval?

Right, because not doing my best to give them a good financial start in life is a better option. Also, where did you get that I'm an absent mother? Did I say that I don't see them or spend time with them? To those who offer advice, thank you. To those who disagree but diff jump to mothers should not do what they can to secure their kids' financial future and stay poor but at home, thanks. Update, we formally broke up today, and he made it very difficult to focus on our conversation. He interrupted me every five seconds and was in denial for almost half of it. I asked to meet at a small restaurant, public play strategy, to avoid any type of drama. I tried to be respectful but definitely wanted to bring up my uneasiness and feelings about his

behavior. He tried to brush it off at first, but when I insisted, he evaded the subject. I told him what he already knows. My children are my priority as a sole provider, and I want to ensure that they have their needs covered. There were some comments on my other post that I had thought about but hadn't verbalized. Like, what would he inherit my kids or what's his plan for his own kid? I know he doesn't have much, but that's no excuse. When I established the comparison between what he wanted for his kid versus what he would give to mine, his face changed, like I was greedy and he was insulted. He said my kids don't have a dad and that he can provide a paternal figure. This triggered me so much that I had to try and keep my volume in check.

My thought is that being there like a piece of furniture in exchange for financial benefits for his own kid is acceptable to him. I would have loved for my kids to have a decent dad, but that's just not in the cards, and right now, I'm better off alone than with Ben. I was so angry that he kept asking me to calm down. He said he's leaving his dapper good knowledge on life in general because there are things that only he can offer since her mom, is too secular. Whatever that means and I didn't ask him. I said that we needed to break up, and he immediately got upset and left our table. I thought he was gone, but he came back later and claimed he only went to use the restroom. I told him that I can't share any part of my life with him

after he behaved like a gold digger and that even if I was able to get past this, I would never even consider getting back together because his intentions are entitled and dishonest. All in all, I'm just glad that we weren't alone. He has high blood pressure issues, real, I've seen the medication, and sometimes, I've suspected some types of mental health issues, going from zero to 100 for things that seemed incongruent. He said he was truly sorry if he offended me and said that he felt tricked and betrayed. That breaks are meant for introspection and to seek improvement and not to abandon a relationship.

That my actions will have an impact on his daughter because she really likes me. I offered to have a last call slash text with her if he agreed but his answer was no, fuck you, you don't get to say anything to her. He said that I'm caught up in my new mainstream life, whatever that means, it's fucking offensive considering that I've worked for my financial stability after a few years of things not being great. He told me to go suck on my colleagues D.CKS but immediately apologized. I told him I'm not surprised at his behavior, since it shows me that he seems to think sex

can solve anything. I also said that since he was being gross and vulgar, I'm learning just now that men like him are unfuckable, homosexual, hand-out seekers and insincere. And that I will never date someone who is not financially stable ever again, because this is a huge lesson. I wish that I could say that I had left him sitting alone at the table, but he left first. When I was about to get my handbag to pay for my food, he rushed to get his backpack and walked off really quick. I blocked him everywhere, but I already changed my locks. He never had a key nor did he stay over, but I'm just being cautious. He called one of our friends in common to vent about me and she ended up angry with him because he was very insistent

that I had mistreated him and she told him that she needed to hear my side of the story. She and I had a long conversation and she told me that she can't blame me, because our group of friends had been noticing the imbalance in our relationship and how he seemed comfortable including himself in conversations about business and success when in the 16 years that she's known him, he's never gotten anything done. So that's my update. I also blocked him on social media and messaging apps. Next story, raise my late husband's kids for five years while he battled action. Now after his death their jailed mother wants me to adopt them while his parents try to block me. This is sort of a long story but I need to share because I'm feeling so overwhelmed. My husband

died one week before Thanksgiving. We were unofficially, separated at the time. We were not living together. I still loved him, but I had chosen to distance myself due to his drug addiction, in hopes that he would seek treatment and get clean. He was seeking help, but it was not enough and he overdosed. He had trouble with drugs when he was younger, like college age, but he got clean and I believe he stayed clean for many years. He had a girlfriend back then who also became a addicted to drugs and they had two kids. Ultimately, he got clean, had a good job, had his life in order and was doing everything he was supposed to and he was awarded custody of their two kids. I actually knew him back in elementary and middle school. We lost touch when we attended

different high schools. We didn't meet again until after that first instance of addicted and recovery. He had been clean for a few years when we met. His kids were five and three, and they're 10 and 8 now. Their mom had supervised visitation. I have no biological children of my own. He passed away and I'm devastated over it. I can't really accept it yet. But I feel especially crushed for his children. They haven't had an easy time over the past year or so as he's dealt with his problems, and now they've suffered the ultimate loss. I've remained in their lives even while we were separated and not living together. He moved back in with his parents and took his girls with him,

but I still visited them often and remained involved in all aspects of their lives. I never called myself their mom, but I essentially was their mom on a day-to-day basis. I did all the things a mom would do. Their mom was recently arrested on a burglary-related charge and is in prison. This happened after he died. I thought she was doing better. She was at his memorial and seemed more together than many times in the last. She wrote me a very heartbreaking and heartfelt letter asking me to adopt her daughters.

She basically admitted she doesn't know if she'll ever overcome her addiction, and that she doesn't want the girls to go live with relatives in either side. She wants them to stay with me because it's what they know now and she feels they're safe. She said they asked her if they can come live with me and referred to my house, our former family home, as home. I wasn't expecting that at all. She hadn't been particularly fond of me before. She's been talking for years about how she's going to get clean for her girls and get custody

of them again, and she actually had some good moments but it never stuck. I feel like the world's worst person by not immediately saying yes. I haven't responded to her at all yet. I feel like the world's most evil person not immediately saying yes. I love those girls. I've lived with them as essentially. their mom for several years. I've worried about them every single day. Yet, why do I find myself thinking, do I really want to do this? I also don't even know if it'll be possible and or what kind of

fight it'd be. I don't think his parents will agree so easily. I got along with his parents just fine, but they're big on family and they are absolutely destroyed by his death so I can't imagine they'd let the girls go without a big fight. I can't help but wonder what kind of possibly lifelong mess I'd be getting myself into if I pursued this. Having with her, both sides of the girls' extended family, the trauma the girls will probably be dealing with forever because of their parents. I don't know that I'm strong enough to handle it all and it makes me feel like a horrible human being. Update, March 30th, 2025. My husband died from a drug overdose in November 24. He had drug issues when he was in his late teens slash early 20s, got clean, and remained clean

for many years. He had full custody of his two daughters, who are now eight and ten. He relapsed sometime in 2024. He and I were separated and living apart at the time of his death. I had hoped that he'd get things back on track and we could be together again. The mother of his daughters is also a drug addict. She never managed to get and stay clean for any significant stretches. She's been a rest multiple times. She was at his memorial service and seemed to be in good shape, for her, but she was arrested soon after that. She's still in jail now. When she first entered jail this last time, she wrote me a letter telling me she wanted me to adopt her daughters. They'd been living with my husband's parents, but had asked me several

times about when they'd be able to go home to what had been our family home. I was basically their mom. I never referred to myself as their mom and they didn't call me mom, but I filled that role. They had sporadic contact with their actual mother. In the letter she wrote me, she even told me they told her they wanted to live with me. I posted about all of this three months ago. Since then, I've decided to pursue custody of them. It was a huge decision and one that, while I spent a lot of time thinking about, I didn't have the luxury of taking too long. What finally tipped me over the edge was my former in-laws saying they didn't believe the girls should go to therapy to help them deal with their father's death and they're virtually absent,

drug-addicted mother. It was shocking, because what person in their right mind wouldn't think these girls should have all of the help they can get? At the same time, it wasn't surprising coming from them. They lived in denial of their son's problems too. They were the biggest enablers I ever met as well. They're extremely focused on image and achievement, just being the best, sports, competition. I believe they have good intentions, but they doesn't change how their actions affected their son, other children, or grandchildren. I never thought I'd be teaming up with my husband's XGF, but here we are. This isn't easy for her. No, she's not been a present or good mom, but I know she wishes she was. I know it's hard for her to admit she can't be their mom.

Despite her problems and her track record of extreme selfishness, I can't imagine what it takes to give up custody of your children and I'm glad she's finally putting her own wants aside to do what she thinks if best for her kids. I'm also sorry for her that despite still having parental rights over the girls, she's not being granted the authority to allow them to be adopted by somebody she designates. I understand there needs to be safety measures in place to ensure children are placed with safe people, but I'm willing to do any sort of evaluations needed to prove I can provide a safe. safe and stable home for them. You'd think it'd be as simple as her terminating her parental rights and indicating that she wants me to adopt the children, and while that is part of the process, it's not actually that cut and dry. His parents, who again are obsessed with winning everything, have already tried to block this with the courts. They're basically trying to file some sort of injunction where if her rights are severed they get first chance to adopt the girls, and they're

trying to drag me through the mud in the process and frame it to look like I can't be a fit parent. I may be single, but they're in their 60s. The girls love them but they don't want to live with them full time. Up until last summer, our home where they lived with me and their dad had been their home for almost as long as they could remember. I'm not wealthy. I support myself just fine but I don't have reserves to fight this if they really want to take it that far. And the annoying thing is, I still get the sense that ultimately they're doing this just because

they want to win, and they also have an obsession with family and their family name. I never expressed any intention of trying to sever the relationship between them and the girls. Even if I don't necessarily like or agree with certain things about them, I told them outright that I felt we all could and should be part of the girl's lives. The girls do love their grandparents and their aunts, my husband's sisters, neither of which has shown any interest in gaining custody of the girls. I think they need as many people who love and care about them in their lives, and that even includes their mother's family who I'd also grin and bear for their sake. I'm just so frustrated, and this isn't something that most people can easily relate to.

I thankfully have many people who support me, even if they think I'm crazy for doing this at the same time. It's just that I suppose there's very little advice anyone can give me from experience.