Reddit Stories - Betrayed ignored by my cheating ex who begged for redemption after i d given her everything

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #cheatingex #betrayed #ignored #redemption #relationshipsSummary: A story of betrayal and redemption unfolds as a person is ignored by their cheating ex who later begs for forgiveness. Despite giving everything, the ex's actions leave the protagonist feeling hurt and betrayed.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, cheatingex, redemption, relationships, forgiveness, hurt, betrayal, ignored, ex, love, heartbreak, emotionalpain, movingon, trustissues, relationshipproblems, personalgrowthBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Dishonest partner attempted to reconcile with me, but I disregarded her due to my long-standing assistance. Later, it came to light that she was involved in a romantic relationship at her workplace. My 24M partner, 30F, of four years had an affair with a colleague, 22-23M, on a mind site. We started dating on September 2018 on my birthday, so that day has always been extra special. to me. My partner does rostered work. She works eight days on a mine site and is back six days off. I work a decent nine to five job so we are both pretty well off. She's also an international resident,

so I had decided to help her get her visa to stay. We applied for the de facto spouse visa at the end of 2020. For the first three and a half years, our relationship was really good. We both loved each other and were doing so much together. Unfortunately, some clashes between her and my mom led to us moving out and renting a place for six months. She knew how to do everything. She's extremely independent, knows how to take care of a house and cooked really good food. I, on the other hand, was a bit of a drop kick and didn't know how to do any of that properly. Mom looked after me a bit too much which handicapped me a lot when moving out.

Whilst I was working every day and being very smart with our money, we never had any money problems. I was also a bit selfish as a 23-year-old who tended to spend a bit too much time at the computer and away from household chores. I did make sure I spent some time with her, though. We watched some good shows like Game of Thrones, Money Heist, and Merlin. I did, however, clean enough to ensure we got 100% of our bond money back. I did all the de-weeting by hand. After our six-month lease was finally up, we bought a place together. This was around September 2021.

She started her mining job around December 2021. And me still being a dropkick, didn't do much of the housework, although I did learn to cook some dishes as I needed to make sure I kept myself fed whilst she was on site. But I still didn't do the laundry or vacuum and mop the floor because my standard of cleanliness. was so much different from hers. Instead, I spent my time learning how to invest because she told me she wanted to make a lot of money. I designed an investment plan just to suit her.

I enjoyed investing a lot, but not so much in cleaning. Come April 2020, and she breaks down in our bedroom at my lack of help around the house. She tells me she's incredibly stressed with having to come back and do all the housework after eight long days on the mine site. At this stage, I finally wake up and become the adult I should have become long ago. I started vacuuming and mopping the whole house once a fortnight and doing the laundry every week, making sure she has an empty basket to work with when she came back. It was like a switch was flicked on in my head.

I should also mention that sex was non-existent in the last year of our relationship. She didn't want to take the pill due to side effects, although she was on it periodically for the first three years and we had sex then. I went to buy a pack of condoms but then she went and hid the condoms when we were about to have sex. So I just refused to have sex with her because I didn't want to have unprotected sex and risk pregnancy. She even suggested that I take the male version of the pill that makes my sperm infertile or something. I don't even know what she was on about there. I kept up my routine, making my own lunches and maintaining the house.

while she was away. I finally become an adult that could survive on their own. But the relationship didn't seem to improve. Slowly over time, she stopped cooking for me and didn't like me touching her in bed. She also gave me her cheek for kisses instead of her lips. Looking back, these were all red flags but I was blinded by love and my desperation to save the relationship. I kept up with the cleaning and maintenance. She even went back on the pill to balance her hormones or so she claims. I tried initiating sex with her again at this point, but she refused. And then, came September 17, 2022. I was mopping the floor in my computer room and couldn't use it because the floor was wet. I went to use her laptop instead and saw everything in Messenger. She had been in a

casual, but intimate relationship with a man on the mind's sight, a little bit younger than me. The text messages were extremely explicit. I saw they had this going on since late July. I couldn't go any further back because I was about to throw up. I confronted her about it that night and she told me she had been extremely stressed with work and had fallen out of love. I didn't understand. She loved me when I was a total drop kick. All of a sudden I become this mature and capable adult, but she doesn't love me anymore. I was a total wreck for the next week and couldn't sleep well. I decided to call things off with her, I cannot be with someone who commits infidelity. We are going to split up our assets and go our separate ways. She told me she

wants to remain as friends, but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon, nor do I think that's a good idea for either of us. This also has implications for her visa. She is currently, on her temporary visa until the end of November this year, at which point we are supposed to sign off on some documents so she can get her permanent residency. I told her I refused to sign any documentation as I basically have to lie which can get me sent to jail along with a big fine. She may still be able to get her permanent residency if the department decides to award it to her, but she is at a much greater risk of having to go back to a student visa which means she will lose her mining job, along with her life savings of having to enroll in some course she doesn't

want to complete and pay international student fees, which are bloody expensive, along with wasting years of her life just to progress her spouse visa all for nothing. Despite the harm she has inflicted on me, I hope she gets her permanent residency. It doesn't affect me either way whether she gets it or not. But at this stage, I have no influence over it because I have already withdrawn as her sponsor. I cried multiple times in front of multiple people. I cried because the vision I had of us being together with our many successes around us is now impossible. I cried because I was forced to make decisions that would either harm myself whilst benefiting her or harm her whilst benefiting myself. I cried as I enter the empty and dark house after work is done, knowing that

she is living with her friends and I am alone. I will be moving back to my parents. I will be moving back to my parents, in a few months' time. It makes no economical sense to stay out here on my own without a partner. Update, first of all. A massive, thanks to everyone who took the time to read my first post and took even more time to drop a comment of support. I'm glad I came to this subreddit. The first two three months after D-Day I was living alone in my house.

I hadn't moved back with my parents yet, and my mind was always on her and how she could make such a poor life decision given how intelligent she is, or was. I don't think she's so smart anymore. With the help of friends, family and the subreddit, however, I managed to push through, finalize our separation and move on. Liquidated our investments, I told the immigration agency that we are no longer together and I withdrew as her sponsor to stay on the safe, legal side of things. I gave her share of the house, I bought out her share, so the house is is mine, and investments to her and I left it at that. Whilst all of this was going on, she would make pathetic attempts at making amends like washing the bed sheets and making the bed

whilst I was at work. She bought me six jars of Pringles one day and on another, she texted me, offering to give me a lift because it was raining slightly. I messed up the bed when I got back from work. I declined her offer to drive me home, but I did eat the Pringles that she bought. I wasn't going to let those go to waste, but that didn't change the way I felt about her at all. To anyone reading this, all of those things were done out of guilt. It's not love. It's guilt. There is a massive difference. She didn't do those things in the two months or so leading up to D-Day. So why is she only doing it after I found out? It's because she's guilty and she feels it. For those who read the first post and are curious as to whether she'll be sent back

to her home country or not. The only update I have on that is that she got her visa from the immigration agency. So for my POV, it looks like she'll be here to stay. She called me after work to tell me the immigration agency decided to give it to her. I don't know how true it is though, nor do I care too much at this point. Fast forward to November to December 2020. I've moved back with my parents and I started renting out the house that we were staying at. I kept myself busy by meeting up with friends, playing some new games, learning to cook some new recipes, started 3D modeling and going to the gym. Day by day, things got better.

And as my love and ability to give a shit about her dwindled, I started to see more and more just how bad of a person she was. I remember how she would come back home just to pick on the small. smallest of things just to make me feel bad and to give her superficial reasons to cheat. I remember how she refused to kiss me on the lips in the last few months of our relationship. It was heartbreaking to come home after a long day of work just to have her not wanting to kiss me. I remember how she wouldn't even acknowledge me when I would walk through the front door and just sit on the bed with her laptop pretending I don't even exist.

Well, that's all in the past. I have better things to do and better people to get in. involved with. Thanks for reading. And for those who had just gone through D-Day recently, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Find some hobbies. Go to the gym. Talk to family and friends. Go for a walk. Go to the markets. Listen to music. Play some games. Read a good book. Start a small herb garden. Hell, go to work even, just to keep your mind. busy. Literally, do anything except dwell on your broken relationship. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Boyfriend only eats pizza and threaten to expose my past when I tried to leave. I, 24F, am dating

a, 25m, an almost unreasonably picky eater and I'm pretty much at the end of my rope. I, 24F, met Jake, 25m, about two years ago while out and bonding over the fact that we graduated from the same college. We went on a couple of dates and were getting to know each other when he let me know that he had more or less eaten pizza every day for the past three years. I didn't love the idea, but I thought he was pretty cool besides that and figured it was just a little quirk he had that he was exaggerating and that the dude just really liked pizza. He was not. He eats it every single day without fail. Each time we go out, it has to be pizza, and after a few fights here and there, it's been pretty much an unspoken

understanding that when we go out, we will be getting pizza. Also, it's not just any pizza, he's even picky about his pizza. He'll make us go to a few totally inconvenient pizza places that require a subway ride trip and are far from where either of us lives. We live in NYC, and I'm sure most of you know you pretty much can't pass a single block without stumbling upon a pizza place, so it's not like these places are our only options. I can name all the foods he eats on both my hands. All are simple carbohydrates, but pizza is his absolute favorite. For the others, he'll just settle to eat if pizza is not immediately available. No vegetables, no fruit, no protein, whatsoever. He absolutely refuses to even try them despite never trying most of them before.

I've tried to push his boundaries gently, but it always fails, and the one time we went somewhere I wanted to go, he pouted the entire time and ordered French fries. He's promised to be more open in that this pizza thing won't be forever, but that it's working for him now, whatever that means, he claims to be high functioning on the spectrum, which, honestly, I'm not totally convinced of, but that's another story, and that's why he can only eat pizza. This made me more cautious of discussing my issues with his diet because I know how easily he can claim I'm insensitive to his disability and that it's something he truly cannot help, and he has. I do firmly believe he has some sort of a void and eating disorder

that is clearly not debatable. I've more or less dropped it because it always starts a fight, but the resentment is still there. Something I wasn't totally sold on when we first met but convinced myself was a small quirk is turning into genuine disgust and bitterness towards him and his unwillingness. I guess he thought I got over it since I stopped bringing it up as much, and he informed me of his plan to stop eating pizza every day after 10,000 consecutive days of eating pizza. To do the math for you, that's roughly around 2045, factoring in the days he's already gained. He's going to document it on his Instagram story and show everybody his streak. He seems so proud of this idea and commitment, and I'm genuinely stunned. He thinks this is

just some interesting, cute little tidbit about him that people will support because he's such an offbeat guy. I could not believe what I was hearing. Taking away the inconvenience of always having to eat where he wants to eat, not being able to cook for us, and me being bored stupid over eating the same shit every time, it's simply not healthy. He claims because he's outwardly fit, it's not a big deal, but I disagree. I was sort of putting up with the whole pizza thing at first, but upon this announcement, I don't know if I can I deal with this much longer. It's inconvenient, it's unhealthy, and in my opinion, it's selfish. Everybody you go to eat out with has to cater to a single person's self-imposed dietary restrictions. He's going to Germany

with his family for vacation, and he's already mapped out the available pizza places he can eat at, German pizza over authentic German cuisine. It very well could be something he can't help, and he has claimed to be getting help through therapy with it, but I'm seeing no progress, and honestly, I don't think he wants to and only says he's working on it to placate me. He talks about having a future with me and having kids, and there's no way I would even consider that if he continues to commit to this streak for fear of setting a bad example for our children's eating habits.

We don't live together and only see each other about three kids. times a week, and the pizza thing is driving me crazy. He proposed moving in together, and I immediately shot that down for the time being. If I can barely handle it now, I know living together would only amplify it. I've tried gently coaxing, I've tried showing him studies on how his diet affects his life and sets back the fitness goals he's always complaining about never reaching, I've tried fighting in anger only to be told I'm an asshole because I need to accept him as he is and that he can't help it. Maybe he is right. I have to accept it, or I have to move on, and at this point,

I truly don't think I can. He's great in almost every other way except for this. I feel guilty for letting it go on this long when it bothered me from the very beginning, but I can't change that now. Do I concede and let him eat whatever he wants, as he's a grown man? Should I draw this boundary and continue to push him to push himself and give an ultimatum? Or do I just need to throw in the towel at this point and move on with my life? Never thought I'd get so stressed out over pizza fFS, uck. More info, from what he said, he's been only eating pizza for pretty much three years. I honestly just didn't take it seriously at first and thought it was an exaggeration.

And no, he's not overweight at all. perfectly average weight. He works out most days of the week, and his body is average because despite working out all the time, the pizza is holding him back from reaching his fitness goals. I think that's his justification as to why this is okay. Now, he's usually down to do fun or new things, excluding food. He is very stubborn, though. If somebody mentions something he disagrees with regarding him or his opinions, he gets very

very defensive. Whether it's in the workplace, among friends, or among strangers, he digs his heels in and has trouble seeing others' perspectives. One of the things that holds me back from moving on from him is that I'm a recovering alcoholic, so I understand addiction and how hard it can be to overcome. I'm sober now, and it has been a while, but it was a really hard journey, and he didn't give up on me. But, truth be told, I was in a very vulnerable place in my life when we met. It clouded my judgment, and I thought he would be as good as I could ever get. I know now that's not true. I've been checked out of this relationship for a long time, but this whole streak thing made me realize I'm going to have to call it. Also, I'm afraid to

say it, but it's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed. He's mentioned going out to eat with my family before, and I refuse to because I don't want us all at a nice restaurant while he's either only eating the bread basket or asking for a kid's menu, but I know that this is much more than him just being immature or childlike. It's something that requires outside help. I will never understand what he's going through, but he simply refuses to get any help at all. Now, about his goal, I don't think he's actually willing to give it up after a consecutive amount of days. I think it's just an excuse he's hiding behind. His reasoning is because then it'll be 10,000 days. But what he fails to realize is that nobody finds that impressive or cool or quirky,

it just comes off as childish and kind of gross. I think the whole making it to 10,000 days thing is just some arbitrary excuse he sold himself so that he can continue to eat this way and not feel bad about it. Now, this is TMI, but in our intimacy, he actually has no problem going down on me. That is sort of what makes me think he's exaggerating this cause. I don't think I taste like pizza. Surely someone who's happy and willing to do oral can work themselves up to eating a carrot, right? Or maybe I just don't understand his disorder properly.

Finally, one of my biggest takeaways is that if we did end up together and have children together, how would this affect him? I brought this up to him, and he said he would be strict that it was necessary for them to eat healthfully and with a lot of variety. I asked how he expected our kids to ever take him seriously on that if the kids have a plate of broccoli in front of them for dinner while watching him happily chomp down on takeout pizza. He said he would explain how he couldn't help it to them. Whether he can help it or not does not change the fact that it will affect our children and their eating habits. Update, this happened last night. This update is way more dramatic and unpleasant than I had hoped, but it is what it is. I read what you all wrote, and I appreciate all the comments left for me.

Despite a few outlandish ones, they were all very helpful and reaffirmed my beliefs that I'm not being nitpicky about this issue. I decided to give it one last shot at broaching this issue with him and letting him know how serious it was to me. He needed help, and so long as I saw that he was trying, that was all I asked for. We were out to dinner, I'm sure you can all guess what we had to eat, when he brought up. up his trip to Germany and how he would have to find a supermarket stat in order to stock up on frozen pizzas to keep his streak going. I was hoping to do it after the trip so as not to ruin his good time, but I figured now was as good a time as any, so I told him that maybe he doesn't have to continue the streak. Maybe he can just try new German cuisine without worrying about

having to get pizza into his diet the entire time. Then I asked him if he had talked with his therapist about his avoidant eating, and he said, no way. I have people depending on me to continue this streak. I don't want to let them down. That's when I said that I don't think anybody really cares about this streak as much as he does, and frankly, I'm worried about him. This is really unhealthy, and it's consuming his life. He's about to go on this incredible trip to Germany, and the forefront of his mind is to get to a grocery store to pick up frozen pizzas. I think he really needs to discuss this with his therapist again. We had a back and forth the rest of our meal about his diet and how it was affecting our relationship.

He doesn't think it's a problem because his health is fine. Keep in mind he's only 25, and I was a busy body and needed to mind my own business. I let him know that this is my business because it affects me. We can only go out to eat one thing, we can never have a meal at home together, and if we did decide to move forth and have children, the example he is setting is awful. We let the issue go for the rest of dinner, not wanting to escalate it, and Aidan silenced the plan after was to go back to his place where I would spend the night. The entire trip home, he was silent but very obviously simmering while I wished I had just gone home. I should have gone home. I guess I didn't expect

the shitstorm that waited when I got to his place. He flipped. He began screaming. He began screaming, about how he was so sick of me bringing this up, how it was his life, and how I couldn't control what he did or ate. I told him I cared about him and his health and wanted him to recognize what he was doing was not healthy. I ultimately agreed that he was right, I couldn't control what he did or what he ate, but he couldn't expect that I would stick around and watch and enable him like I had been doing in the past. It escalated from there how he had been there for me the entire time when I was an active alcoholic through my relapses. I could not and still cannot dispute that.

He was. I guess the only difference between him and me is that I wanted to change. I acknowledged the issue and knew I could not go on like this any longer. Obviously, though, it is much quicker to see the downfall of someone suffering from alcoholism versus someone who is suffering from this kind of eating disorder. One spirals much faster than the other, so I was able to recognize. it much quicker. I told him I was going to leave because I couldn't deal with this anymore. We kept fighting and fighting, and he let me know he would expose me. He has a blog, and he told me

how he would write one about what it was to live with an alcoholic and use my name. He would be sharing it on Facebook. I completely panicked. I cried and begged that he didn't use my most vulnerable moments against me. He told me if I walked out, he absolutely would. He was. He told me if I walked out, That was all I needed to hear. He was going to blackmail me. I think this snapped me awake to realize this isn't love. If I leave, he's going to humiliate me on the internet to get back at me, that absolutely isn't love. So I left.

I don't have many possessions there, but he can keep them for all I care. He emailed me a draft of the post, I blocked him on everything else, and the subject was last chance. Let him post it Fuck it I can't control other people I can only control myself and how I react I deactivated all my social media and I'm ready to move on with my life

It hurts that somebody I trusted so much Would explicitly broadcast my past But it's a learning lesson Thank you all for reading Edit I'm a total hothead and need to relax I'm crazy defensive right now and wondering if I did the right thing. I apologize for lashing out. Also, thank you to the commenter who gave me the idea to write a post with the following. X, and I broke up recently, and during

this breakup, he threatened to make a post on his blog detailing a very vulnerable time in my life. His post will likely include embarrassing intimate details of my alcoholism, from which I have proudly recovered, mixed in with lies and who knows what else. I encourage you. I encourage you, you not to read it, and if you do, to consider the context he is posting it in in the first place. I think I'll just copy slash paste it.