Reddit Stories - BETRAYED My COWORKER'S Wedding Snub UNLEASHED Chaos In His Life

Episode Date: June 6, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #wedding #betrayal #coworker #chaos #lifeSummary: A coworker's wedding snub led to chaos in his life after feeling betrayed. Reddit users discuss if the coworker was wrong to be upset. The situation escalates with unforeseen consequences, sparking a heated debate on social etiquette and workplace relationships.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, wedding, betrayal, coworker, chaos, life, relationships, social, etiquette, drama, conflict, consequences, debate, workplace, upset, snub, heatedBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Colleague omitted only me from his marriage ceremony and his situation deteriorated. I, a 30-year-old man, have been employed at my organization for seven years, five of which have been spent on my current team. There are 15 people on it and I'd say we're all pretty close, relatively speaking. I have a co-worker named Bob, 33 male, who joined the team when I did. During the pandemic he announced to everyone on a Zoom meeting that he was now engaged. Fast forward to this January and Bob says that his wedding would be held in September of this year at a really beautiful winery. About five months ago the invite started coming in for everyone on the team, but mine didn't.

I waited a few weeks but nothing came, so I went to Bob and asked if my invite got sent out. He gave me a solemn look and then told me that I wasn't invited because of a special. basing issue. He said he tried to make it work, but just couldn't, and hoped I didn't take it personally. He also said I'd be sure to get wedding favors and a piece of cake. He also asked me to keep it to myself and please not make a big deal out of it. I honestly didn't know what to say, so I guess I just said okay and walked away. I won't lie, I was upset, I hate feeling excluded, and it was doubly worse because everyone else on the team was going except for me, and honestly, I really like weddings. They're usually very fun, I kept it to myself, but I wasn't

happy. The day of the wedding came three weeks ago, and it went by without a hitch. Everyone on my team had a grand time and said it was beautiful. The food and party was great as well and apparently everyone got a dozen fresh apple cider donuts to take home. I never did get that cake or wedding favors BTW. At work the following Monday my team member, Sherry, told me that everyone was confused as to where I was. Apparently Bob said I was sick and couldn't make it, I was confused and then pissed, I straight up told her I wasn't invited, and left it at that. She looked shocked and asked me to confirm and I said yes, I wasn't invited.

Well, Sherry told someone, because about five people asked me if I wasn't invited and I said it was true. Today was Bob's first day back from his honeymoon and it must have gotten back to him that I spilled the beans. He approached me in the break room and he was upset that I told Sherry and that it wasn't a big deal I missed the wedding. I said how would you like to be excluded from something everyone else is going to? We went back and forth for a bit, before Bob walked away, I was pretty upset, so upset that my project manager came to ask me if I was okay because she heard about me not being invited. I didn't want this to go this far, so I said yes, but other team members came up to me and said that Bob should have invited me, and it was wrong he didn't. Look, I realized that it was his wedding day and he's allowed to invite who he wants, but I'm allowed to be upset that I wasn't invited right. So Reddit, am I the jerk for telling people I wasn't invited to the wedding and being upset about it?

More info, all my team got plus ones, 12 out of 15 people on my team are older and thus married or coupled up, other than Bob and me. There is a woman age 26 who was invited and went solo, now, I'm starting to think the wife didn't want me there, but I can't fathom why. We met at a work Christmas party and all we talked about was Super Mario Maker and Breath of the Wild for 15 minutes. I don't think she could be interested in me, I mean, she did add me online to download some of my levels for S-M-M, but other than that I haven't seen or heard from her in three years, maybe she just likes my level of construction. L.O.L also, for those of you wondering, I'm just as pasty white as they are, and have nothing that makes me out of the ordinary, there are other people on my team who are poach and were invited,

as well as a lot at the wedding from what I've seen in pictures. Now, I wouldn't say I'm classically attractive, I'm no, Jimmy Garapallo, but I'm tall, six feet four inches, and I lift so I have a lean figure. So to answer everyone's question, I do well in the dating department, I'm straight, if I can say that without making me sound like a total self-absorbed douche and, Bob isn't a bad-looking guy at all, he's shorter than me, but is still tall, and has an excellent conversation, I can't imagine he'd be threatened by me. The reason I don't want to make a big deal out of this is that we work from home three days out of the week, so I don't have to see him that often if I don't want, also, I have never had a crossword with Bob other than this, but I'll

definitely keep my eye on how Bob is managing the narrative. And be sure to report it to my project manager if anything gets out of hand. Update, am I the jerk for telling people that I wasn't invited to a wedding? I want to thank you all for the responses, especially for the wedding invites. Well, I have an update to this story and it took an interesting turn. Bob and I were in the office today, he came to me and asked if we could talk, he asked if we could clear the air over some beers with his wife after work I said okay. After work I meet Bob and his wife Pam in a bar, they both apologized for not inviting me, and making me feel excluded, Bob apologized for lying and getting mad about it. The reason they didn't invite me is because they didn't want single guys

at the wedding. They went to a big wedding back in 2019 that was ruined when a bunch of drunk, single guys started hitting on the women there, a few of the boyfriends and husbands got pissed and it turned into a big fight. People were arrested and it completely ruined the wedding. I found it hard to believe, but they showed me a couple of Facebook videos of them at a wedding, and it looked the damn royal rumble going on. I was even shown a few Facebook statuses confirming their story, Pam said she was sort of traumatized by this and swore they'd have no single guys at their wedding. Well, the wedding came and Pam stuck to her guns, only family, couples, single women or trusted single men were to be invited. Pam said that there were only about ten single guys there, and they were all family members or groomsmen.

She said the party turned out amazing this way since women didn't have to worry about being hit on. Pam said it truly wasn't personal, and that she's so sorry for not inviting me, but would do it again, I asked if she and Bob didn't trust me enough to control her. myself, she said that Bob vouched hard for me, but she was sticking to her guns, the compromise was that she'd have to explain it if anyone asked. And that Bob got to choose the honeymoon destination. Curiously she said that she had a sister around my age and I was just her type and she wanted to keep her away from me, I was a little offended at that, but she says that it's for my own good, her sister is a little bit of SLT her words not mine. And she didn't want her to get her hooks in me again her words. Bob said he should have handled it better, and he wanted to be

honest, but it wouldn't have made much of a difference, so he hoped I wouldn't mind as much, plus he figured I wouldn't want to go to a wedding as a single guy anyway. I told them I was kind of hurt, they thought I would act like a creeper at their wedding, Pam assured me that she thought I was a nice, smart, funny guy, but she just wanted to make sure their wedding went off without a hitch. They promised to make it up to me, but I told them it wasn't necessary, Pam insisted on it and said I had to know how sorry she was. So we made plans to have dinner at their expense at a very nice restaurant in the city this weekend. So in the end, I guess it wasn't anything I did, but I still feel kind of insulted, but I guess I get a free dinner out of it, person shrugging,

fair skin. Edit, there are a lot of comments here suggesting that I'm being naive, a dormant letting them off easy for basically calling me a creep, I won't lie, I think you all might be right, I do believe in taking the high road on most occasions, but I don't think this should be one of those times, as a side note. I don't believe that wanting to see the best in people or taking them at their word makes you naive. I had a call an hour ago with my project manager and explained the entire situation, she advised me to go to HR and make a complaint since it could lead to a hostile work environment. I have a meeting with them Monday, I don't really want to make a formal complaint,

just have it on file in case anything happens. TBH I don't think it will Bob doesn't seem like that kind of person, but I've been wrong plenty of times before. So as per the advice here, I won't be going to dinner with Bob and Pan. I will, however, insist on a public apology that doesn't imply that I'm a creep, and I'm insisting on some fresh apple cider donuts, not store bought, but fresh. Thank you for making me see the truth Reddit, although I'm disappointed I'm turning down some wad you stake, so you all owe me one-haha. Update and more context.

Before I get to the update, there are a few things I'd like to clarify and put in context. I got a few posts and DMS asking why I felt entitled to be invited. I want to make it clear, I don't feel entitled to anything. Yes, I wanted to be invited, but as I said if they had been honest with me from the beginning I wouldn't have minded as much. They were allowed to do what they wanted on their wedding day. My problem was the subterfuge used to mask their choice. I have never talked to Bob about women, ever. We didn't have that kind of relationship.

None of the men on the team do. I think the women do it among themselves, but I can't be sure about it. I'm choosing to believe Pam about her experience dealing with men. Pam had to turn away some of her single guy friends, and Bob had a shit ton of guy friends who wanted to go but were turned away. Pam and some of her friends had very bad experiences. Being hit on at clubs and Pam wanted to ensure their safety, she got the idea to exclude guys from going to women-only clubs.

The wedding Royal Rumble happened at the wedding of one of her closest friends. The friend and her husband were devastated their wedding was ruined. As for me, it was 70-30 on me being invited. It came down to that Pam didn't know me at all outside of my superb Super Mario-Maker-level design, Bob really fought hard for me, but Pam was too unsure, and then she remembered her sister, according to Pam, although she loves her sister to death, her sister is a huge SLT and goes from guy to guy with the change of the wind, apparently. I'm dangerously her type and she would have been all over me.

Bob said it would look horrible if I wasn't invited, that's when she came up with the compromise of taking the heat for it, he was just hoping that I wouldn't mind not going, maybe I'm naive, but I'm choosing to believe Bob about feeling horrible about not inviting me. He seemed really broken up about it, either he's a damn good actor or he's telling the truth. He acknowledged that the way he handled it was terrible, according to him, there was no way of doing this that wasn't awkward. As for why he lied, apparently, he panicked and couldn't think of anything better. He's getting mad at me for not going along with it wasn't necessarily about me, but being mad at Pam for putting him in that situation, he promised to make a full apology

in front of the team when we're all together in the office again in a few weeks. Pam did say that she felt terrible about me and the other guys she had to exclude. But she would do it again to ensure the safety of the women around her. She was extremely insistent on making it up to me. She said that we should be friends going forward and offered a nice home-cooked meal to be followed by some wine and a round of Mario Kart. I turned that down. that's when the expensive restaurant solution was offered.

I accepted because it seemed like a fair compromise at the time, they didn't even have to really apologize for it, but they were offering me dinner so I took it. In hindsight, I shouldn't have, but at that point, I just wanted to get out of there and go home, now for the update, after reading the comments calling me a doormat. I decided not to accept their dinner offer. I called Bob on his work phone to explain my change of heart.

He was disappointed. but understood my reasoning, I parroted some of the talking points and he said he understood, he wouldn't make a big deal out of it, and we could just move on. I thanked him for being cool about it, and he hung up. I thought that would be the end of it, but not five minutes later Bob calls me back. I groan and pick up, surprisingly, it was Pam on the other side, she didn't come at me hostile, but she did sound upset, she wanted to know why I didn't want to come anymore, I explained what I told to Bob about how they basically insisted I was a creep. I told her I didn't want to invalidate her experiences, but I didn't have to accept being told

I'm a potential sexual predator. She said that she didn't mean it like that, and that she thinks I'm a good person, but couldn't risk it for her wedding. She was practically begging me to meet her in person to clear the air further. She kept on saying that we could be the best of friends if I'd give her a chance to explain better, I said no thanks, and that I had to go, but I'm sorry that she went through what she went through. I ended the call by saying, By the way, I didn't even get those donuts, I then hung up, it's been quiet since then. But Bob is back in the office on Monday and I fear Pam might do something drastic. I hope this thing is over, but I fear it might not be. In any case I'll update if anything happens,

Bob's drunken confession update, hey everyone, so, as I mentioned, mentioned in my last update. I reached out to Bob and explained that I wouldn't be taking him and Pam up on their weekend dinner offer. He was disappointed but agreed with me. Pam called me back a few minutes later and fought hard to keep the plans. I declined and left it at that hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn't. And now, this silly drama continues. I went in two hours early on Monday so that I could potentially avoid a Bob after work chat. Surprisingly, Bob came in an hour early, lining him up to potentially leave him to with me, Bob looked exhausted, and I don't mean tired, I mean mentally, I've seen Bob tired,

we've worked many late nights on projects together, I've seen him hung over. This wasn't any of that, I almost can't describe it, he looked worn down, he shot me a sup nod, and I gave him one back, and we got to work, I kept my meeting with HR, our HR rep is a wonderful lady named Sally, I told Sally the whole story, and she said that in her 15 years of HR work, she's never heard a more stupid story. We shared a good laugh, and she told me that it would be unofficially logged just in case Bob or Pam did anything crazy, she told me she thinks Bob is harmless, but to keep my eyes sharp, the rest of the day was uneventful, the most interesting thing that happened was that I saw Bob's face buried in his hands for a good minute or so.

With two hours to go, I go to the break room for some water, Bob follows me in and approaches cautiously, I gave him a surprised look, and he just threw up his hands as if to say he was not hostile. He said he knows I'm the last person I want to talk to right now, but he needs to talk to me. I said fine. But I angled us over to where the security camera was, paraphrasing here, but he said, Look, I won't ever speak to you again if you don't want me to, but let me buy you around and explain all of the things Pam didn't tell you when we met the other day, Bob sounded desperate, something I'd never seen from him before.

He then hit me with the money, quote, Look, man, I could really use a friend right now, and I've always considered you a friend, well, sorry to disappoint everyone here, but I'm a big gullible softy, I agreed to talk with him, but I told him that there would be absolutely no more meetings on this situation after this.

He agreed and said he'd meet me after work, after work, we walked to our usual bar, the same one I met him and Pam the first time, I suspected Pam might be there, but she wasn't, nevertheless, I kept my eye open for her. Once we sat down, Bob apologized yet again, this one seemed even more genuine than the first. I told him he didn't need to keep apologizing, I got it the first time. He said that he had to apologize because there's a lot more to the

story about the wedding than I thought. Bob explained that he fought Pam like hell to get her to give up the single men's exclusion, but she was dead set on it, they argued for months. and a lot of people offered different solutions, Bob suggested a smaller wedding with only immediate family and friends, but Pam shot that down, she always dreamt of a big wedding with lots of people there, and a small wedding didn't fit her dream, her parents said, why not hire a security guard? Pam said that she wanted the possibility eliminated completely, she said that a few single men could stand to not be invited to a party for once in their lives, Bob said he had a lot of friends who wanted to come and that they would be heard if they weren't invited. Pam said she was making

sacrifices too. A lot of her guy friends wanted to come. Bob finally relented and said if the exclusion were to happen, he wanted nothing to do with that decision and wanted it known that it was out of his hands. Pam said she'd take the heat for it if it came to that, but didn't think people would go crazy over it. She also gave Bob the choice of their honeymoon destination since he was making a big sacrifice, they went to the French Riviera. If anyone is curious, Bob said the wedding, reception, and party were amazing, he said that so many women there were drunk off their assess and falling over themselves, apparently, they did feel safe. But a drunk vocal minority was complaining about the lack of hot guys to dance with, Bob even laughed because one

of them was going around calling it a lesbian wedding since there were only women there, Oh, and some women were absolutely hitting on the handful of single guys there, but Pam didn't mind that as much. Bob said he wasn't rubbing it in, just setting up a point. After the honeymoon, they came home to what Bob described as a PR firestorm. Apparently, Pam had lied to her guy friends about why they weren't invited. One of her close friends let slip the real reason they weren't invited. They were effing furious. She was flooded with angry calls and messages from her friends about Pam essentially calling them potential sexual predators. Pam explained her position multiple times to her friends, but it fell on deaf ears. She has lost many friends over this. One of the guys

said, if you think that I'm a rapist, then why the fuck are we even friends? Pam has been crying for days, and her work life has become terrible. She might even need to leave her job. By this point, Bob had a few hard drinks and was tipsy, so he let loose a little more. He said that her decision had cost him friends of his own, so many of his guy friends were furious to learn they were excluded, and for the reason why. On the day of the wedding, about six or so of his closest friends who were excluded decided to go on a fishing trip as a screw you to Bob and Pam, the cherry on top of the petty cake, they decide to donate $500 and some items to a local woman's shelter. Bob was devastated, and none of those guys are returning his calls or messages. Even their families are upset with them

over the exclusion, Pam's parents are publicly supportive, but chest eyes are behind the scenes, she doesn't have anyone but her bridesmaids and about three other friends who believe in her cause. Bob said at one point that Pam was hysterical and screaming why can't anyone just understand my point of view. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but there was more to this crazy story. At this point, we were about an hour in and Bob was nice and tipsy, so, I pride for more information. Bob said that at first, Pam was sticking. to her guns that the exclusion was a good idea, but she was starting to waver a little bit. She said that most people understood where she was coming from, but that it was too heavy-handed,

and even a little sexist, Bob and Pam have had multiple blow-ups over this whole situation, and they're not in a good place right now, he said that instead of feeling giddy about his new wife and basking in the glow of being married. He's harboring a ton of resentment towards her because she's cost him a lot of his friends and ruined their lives over a stupid party. As for me, apparently, Pam really likes me. One of her biggest regrets about this entire situation is not getting to know me better before the wedding, he said. That Pam thinks I'm one of the coolest people she's ever met.

I asked Bob how she made that determination from a 15-minute chat, and he laughed and said, I don't know, man, she probably has a crush on you or something. I laughed, but that made the situation a little bit weird, As for Pam's sister, she is a SLT, but not in the way you may think. Bob explained that Pam's sister Beth is by all accounts a very smart, successful, respectful woman, she just so happens to like sex. Bob explained that Beth is really into the kink scene and is into things like ethical non-monogamy.

She frequently mentions her adventures to Bob and Pam, and it got them into the lifestyle as well. I was a little surprised, and I asked for clarification, and he said, yeah, she kind of kind of got us into some of that stuff, I was shocked, I mean how often do you hear that your co-worker is into BDSM, but hey, no kink shaming from me, so, it turns out that Beth isn't some soul-sucking, home-wrecking, out-of-control succubus. She's just a regular woman who loves sex, Bob said that Pam was scared that we would hit it off, we share many of the same interests and have similar personality types according

to Bob, Pam wasn't lying about that, nor that I was exactly her type. She likes tall guys, and from what I've heard. She'd have been all over me if she found out I was single, well, now I was curious, so I asked Bob if he had a picture, he pulled up her Instagram, and I must say she was damn gorgeous, she looked like Pam's twin, only she was a little bit thicker, I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty pissed at Pam all over again, LOL. Bob said that Pam has always been a little jealous of Beth, I don't know why, Pam is a stunner herself, and looks just like Beth, Bob said that as a foo to Pam, he'd give her my Insta so we can

DM each other, and he'd put in a good word for me, I thanked him profusely, LOL. He said that Pam was so desperate to make amends with me because I made a big impression on her, and she thinks that we'd be really good friends if we hung out. Bob said that she was just grasping at straws at this point, she's lost all of her friends, and she wanted to make another one. He said that he'd rain Pam in so that she wouldn't bother me anymore. By this point, Bob is more than tipsy. He says that he's having doubts about this marriage because the wedding process and aftermath have been a nightmare. He thinks it'd be really shallow to divorce her over this, but his life has been ruined by her choices. I was shocked. And he said, don't tell Pam,

please, I swore that I wouldn't tell her anything. Bob paid for our drinks, and he was going to take public transportation home, but I told him he needs an Uber. He fought me on that, but I insisted and he agreed to take one. I put him in the Uber and sent him on his way. An hour later, Pam texted me from his work phone. She told me, thank you for taking care of my hubby, you're a good person, I didn't respond, and that brings us to now, I hope that this is mostly the end of it, but it seems like Pam might be desperate and do something rash. In any case, I'll keep you fine folks updated, new update, a date with Beth, Hey everyone, nothing major has happened.

But I have a small update, Bob was true to his word and gave Beth my Instagram, she messaged me last week and we got to talking, the conversation went so well that we agreed on a coffee date this past weekend, well, sorry to disappoint the naysayers here, but the date went extremely well, we talked about a lot, our hobbies, interests, futures. jobs and families Bob was right we are remarkably similar even down to some of our specific food tastes the date went so well that we met at a bar next to our office for some after work drinks and yes that date went amazing as well now here's the part one think you're all going to like we're going

to do a hike this coming weekend and along the way we're going to make a stop at the winery where Bob and Pam had their wedding and picked me up some goddamn apple cider donuts. I think if all goes well with this date, I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend. She just feels special. So that's it. I'll let you know how that hike date goes, but honestly. I think this situation is mostly settled now. Bob has been keeping his distance, but hooked me up, and Pam hasn't been in contact with me for a week now. After the hike, it'll probably be my last post. I don't intend on milking this thing for unnecessary drama. Thanks all, update four, the final chapter, Hey All. I want to thank you all for sticking with me through this crazy S saga, and also for the congratulations for getting with Beth.

It means a lot, now on to the update, as I mentioned last time, me and Beth had met and had gone on a few dates. She's truly an amazing woman, she's smart, funny, driven and very nice. I'm absolutely smitten with this girl, l-ol, well, we had a hike this past Saturday and it was beyond amazing. The weather was perfect, the foliage was beautiful, and the view from the top of the mountain was amazing. We had a picnic at the top of the mountain, and during a lull in the conversation. I summoned all of my courage and asked her if she'd like to be my girlfriend. I was waiting for a more opportune time, but I guess I just got swept up in the moment in view. She smiled, laughed and said I was the corniest person alive for asking in such a cliche place, but she said

that she loved corny and cliche, she said yes. And we sealed it with a kiss, on our way back, we finally stopped by the winery where Bob and Pam had their wedding and man it really was beautiful, it had panoramic views of the mountains, and the vineyard was very pretty, but I wasn't here for the view, I was here for some goddamn apple cider donuts, funny enough. We got there kind of late and almost missed the fresh donuts for the day, thankfully we got some of the last batches. God, those donuts were absolutely delicious. We got two dozen each and and even got some apple-filling cider donuts. The weight was worth it. Afterward we went back to our apartment and made dinner together. I've never had such an amazing date with a woman. It was just perfect. I didn't want to

leave, but I couldn't be presumptuous. When I picked up my keys to go, she grabbed them for me and said and I quote, If you seriously think you're leaving, then you're out of your effing mind. I must have had the biggest smile on my face. So we spent the rest of the weekend together, we had a wonderful Sunday brunch, and a nice walk around our city holding hands going into stores and sightseeing. Unfortunately for me, we had to part last night because we had work in the morning, I was damn near in tears, LOL, this is going to sound dramatic as hell. But I've spent the last few hours at work being totally miserable that I'm not with Beth, it's like when you're in high school and you get your first boyfriend slash girlfriend and you can't stand to be

apart from each other, but you don't want sappy love stories, you're here for the drama, well, me and Beth made it Instagram official on Sunday. And apparently Pam saw it on her sister's profile, she texted Beth on Sunday night, How do you know up? She said, Bob introduced us, Pam only replied with, I knew this would happen, we figured that might mean trouble down the road, but we don't care, Pam can be as mad as she wants, this morning. I actually went up to Bob and thanked him.

for introducing me to Beth, he explained that he and Pam had a huge fight over him introducing us. He said he didn't care about it though, it was worth it just to get us together and was a big fuck you to Pam. I told him I'd buy him around as a thank you, but he said don't worry about it. And that it was the least he could do, so that's it for this update. I'd like to hope that this is the end, but Pam seems pretty upset with us being together. Either way, I'm just so happy with Beth, she's a once-in-a-lifetime kind of person, and rest assured I'll update if anything further happens, peace and love.