Reddit Stories - BETRAYED My Fianc S Secret Demand For WEDDING Funds From My PARENTS Exposed

Episode Date: May 24, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayed #fiance #wedding #parents #secretSummary: After discovering my fiancé's demand for wedding funds from my parents, I felt betrayed and unsure how to proceed. The situation has caused tension and raised questions about trust and boundaries in our relationship.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, betrayed, fiance, wedding, parents, secret, trust, boundaries, relationship, family, finance, deception, conflict, dilemma, advice, supportBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My partner secretly approached my family for financial assistance for our wedding, despite my explicit instructions and not to do so. Consequently, I decided to cancel the wedding, but then they sold our family home to surprise me. My now ex-fiancee, Zach, 28M, and I, 27F, had been together for three years and earlier this year. Almost four months ago, we got engaged. We were supposed to get married in four months. but that's not happening anymore now.

It's all because he decided to go behind my back and do something I had specifically asked him not to do. So Zach's family and my family have pretty similar financial backgrounds, we're not wealthy, but we're comfortable. His mom's a high school teacher and his dad runs a hardware store while my mom is a nurse and my dad was the manager at a Chinese restaurant. But he unfortunately got laid off a couple of weeks before my engagement because the restaurant owner passed away and his son inherited the business.

The new owner wanted to make some personnel changes and hire more experienced and qualified staff to give the place a more high-end vibe instead of that cozy local vibe, so he replaced my dad with a friend of his, letting go of one of the most trusted and experienced employees they had. It came as a huge shock to us and since then, my dad's been very upset because he'd watched this kid grow up and yet as soon as he came into power, he fired my dad. Anyway, my dad took a break for a month and they were relying on my mom's salary and their savings to get by during that time.

After that, my dad went back to applying to other jobs, but at his age, in his late 50s, it's hard for him to find something good enough for him. He used to earn decently while he was working at the restaurant, but for the past couple of months, most places have either been trying to low-ball him or giving him jobs that are going to be way too difficult for him physically. So a couple of months ago, he decided that he was going to start his own diner.

He had enough experience, it was as good a time as any. And my mother and I thought it was a good idea, so we told him to go for it. A couple of weeks back, he had his first day and it went pretty well. Of course, it's going to take some time for him to establish a successful business, but for now, he is doing well enough. Now coming to my fiancé, I had told him really early on that I would cover the expenses of I was not going to ask my parents for any money. Because at the time, my dad had just been let go, and I did not want to rely on them. Because I knew that they would not be able to afford it, given their circumstances.

I did not want to back them into a corner or insult them by even asking for money, so I had made it very clear to my fiancé that his family could take care of his share of the expenses, but my share would be covered by me and nobody else. I did not think that Zach would have any reason to be against that, but we got into a bit of an argument a few weeks after our engagement when I told him that I would cover my share of the expenses because he believed that our families need to take care of the expenses since we, as a soon-to-be-married couple,

should be saving for our future instead. He believed that it was the duty of the parents to cover the wedding expenses and told me that I should think about things rationally instead of getting emotional. But I told him very clearly that it was against my principles to ask my parents for money, especially when I knew that they were in a difficult spot right now. I couldn't humiliate them by asking, and I had no reason to either, since we planned on having a small ceremony, nothing extravagant.

And I did have some savings, I could just use that for now, and I'm sure that I would be able to earn back the money in the future because I was young and I had time. I was also doing well at work, I had no reason to trouble my parents and I tried to to explain these things to him, but he was just bent on that one thing, that my parents should pay for the wedding and I pay for the wedding would not be good for our collective future as a couple, because then, we would have to make sacrifices down the road. I honestly don't know what he was talking about and neither was I interested so after fighting for a few days. I told him that I had made up my mind and I did not want any more arguments

about this. He had said that he was ready to even speak to my parents himself if I had such a moral issue with it, but I had told him very specifically that I did not want my parents to pay for anything. I had been very clear on that, so I don't understand why he felt the need to go behind my back and do it. My parents have always liked him, but this was taking things too far and I obviously had to call off the wedding. For the past four months, we have only been in the initial stages of planning our wedding and we have only been talking to planners and vendors. And then about 10 days ago, it was finally time for us to make the deposit for the venue. Luckily, we were able to find a really nice place, and it was not very known,

so we didn't have to wait to confirm if we were getting the venue or not. When we put down the deposit for the place, I paid for my share and I was fine with it. We had agreed that we were going to equally split the cost of renting the venue and I paid half from my own pocket, while the rest was going to be covered by his parents. But when we came back home that day, he seemed very disturbed. When I asked him why he was so upset, he told me that he was just worried about our future and he didn't want me to spend more money than I could. I thought it was coming from a place of concern, so I told him that he did not need to worry

and that we would be just fine. I also made the mistake of telling him that I really needed that money, then I might ask my parents for something since my dad's diner was doing fine as of now. But as long as I could afford to take care of myself, I was not going to bother them. It was just something that I said to reassure him that everything was going to be fine because he seemed really freaked out. Anyway, I did not think much of that interaction. For the next two days, Zach and I were fine, but then, I received a phone call from my mother.

She told me that the day after we had put down the deposit for the venue, Zach had visited them after work and had told them that he wanted them to pay for the venue because apparently, I was getting really freaked out about how expensive it was going to be for me. He had basically flipped the script and lied to my parents about who was actually getting freaked out and made it seem like I was worried about the money so now, he had come to visit them on my behalf because I was too kind to stand up to them and was demanding that they start covering the expenses of the wedding and had even lectured them how. As good parents, I shouldn't even have to ask and they should just offer it themselves.

What Zach did not know was that my parents had already offered to pay for the wedding when we got engaged, even though I had not asked them to. And I had turned down that offer because I knew that my dad had just been fired and they had offered yet again when my dad had initially started his business a couple of weeks back. But I had still said no because I knew that everything was really early and I did not want them to live beyond their means right now. My parents had been really confused by this visit and for two days, they had not said anything because they had believed that I was aware of Zach's visit, but when I did not bring this up with them at all, they started to started thinking that maybe I didn't know about it all. And so, my mother had called me up to let me

know about what he had said. As soon as she told me about this, I knew instantly that I was not going to be marrying Zach anymore. Because the most important thing in a relationship for me is trust and if I can't even trust him, I don't see the point of being with him. I was very hurt and disappointed by his behavior, but mostly, I was just angry because this was the one thing that we had been fighting about, and I had told him so many times that I did not want anything that I was saying. I was also pissed that he had insulted my parents and humiliated them without even knowing the reality of the situation and I couldn't forgive that. So after that phone call, I took the rest of the day off from work and went back home and texted to come home quickly

because we needed to discuss this ASAP. When he came back home, it had just been an hour since the phone call from my mother so everything was very fresh and I was still really pissed off. So as soon as he walked inside the house, I started yelling at him about what he had done and immediately told him that I was not going to be marrying him anymore and the wedding was off. It took him a couple of minutes to process what was going on and once he had done that, he started fighting with me and said that he was just doing this for our future because he did not want me to spend so much money on the wedding myself, especially when he knew that my parents could afford to do this for me. It was the same argument yet again. And I had to explain to him

once more that my parents could actually not afford to do this for me because if they did cover the wedding expenses. They would end up having to make up for it by working extra hard for the next few months since they had already taken out a lot from their savings to start the diner and even that was in its initial stages. So there was no telling if the diner would be successful or not. I couldn't explain to him that just because they had the money right now, did not mean they could just afford to spend it however they wished to, and I had to think about their future as well because both of them were very close to the age of retirement and I'm pretty sure that my dad would not be able to run the diner for more than maybe 10 years. He tried to tell me that he was

just looking out for us, but I did not by that. I said that I had only asked him not to do this one thing and yet, he had chosen to go behind my back and do it anyway, and that it completely broke my trust in him. We had been fighting a lot over this particular topic for quite some time anyway and after I did not see any reason for me to still be with him. I also brought up how he had insulted my parents by saying that they should have just offered to pay for it themselves without me having to ask, but he didn't even know that they had already offered and I had been the one to reject them. That's when he got even more agitated and told me that I had no right to do that without consulting him first. I was getting really confused with regard to the things that he

was saying, so I asked him why he believed that I had to consult with him before I rejected my parents' offer to pay for the wedding and he told me that once we got married, all our money was going to belong to the two of us, and not just us individually. So all our financial decisions had to be agreed upon beforehand and we needed to make sure that we were on the same page. I couldn't just say and do whatever I wanted and expect him to be fine with it. I thought that he was being a bit ridiculous and I was very annoyed anyway, so I told him that this was not about our finances, it was about him being a control freak and going out of his way to do things that I specifically asked him not to.

But he turned it around on me and said that if I had just been honest with him and told him that my parents had offered to pay, but I was the one who had rejected them, he would have never approached my parents in the first place and would have just tried to sort things out with me instead without dragging them in. But because I had not told him about any of this, he had just had just to be able to assumed that my parents were being selfish and hadn't even offered to pay, which is why he involved them and apparently, this was all my fault now for keeping secrets from him. We just kept going in circles after that point and it got really frustrating after a while,

so I decided to pack my things and leave the house. He was not happy about it and kept trying to tell me to come back so we could talk things through, but I was so exhausted that I didn't even want to speak to him. So I've been living in a hotel since last week and I thought the worst had already happened since I had broken off my engagement and presumably ended my relationship as well. But a few days back, my parents called me and delivered another devastating news to me. I was very upset after I had left home and I was really in no mood to speak to anybody. I hadn't blocked anyone, not even Zach, but I was not checking any messages or receiving any phone calls. My parents had not called me after that last phone call with my mom, where she had told me

about what Zach had done and I thought it was a bit strange that they had not reached up on me, but I was too upset about the situation with Zach to care. I really loved Zach so I was finding it very difficult to cope with all of this and so, I had not told anybody about the fight that we had and how I'd called off my engagement. Zach had also kept his mouth shut about it, so nobody had any idea. Then, two days ago, my mom finally called me and told me that she and my father had sold the house to a buyer who had expressed an interest in it and had been hounding them for the past few months, but they had been declining his offer so far. However, after Zach had come to visit them, they decided to finally sell the house and within two days, they had a great deal from the buyer

on the table since we had a nice old timey house and the buyer was pretty rich and desperate to have the house. And my parents were now going to use that money to fund my wedding and also put some of it into the diner business so that we could all have what we wanted. And she expected me to be happy about it, but I was shocked to the core. That's when I realized how foolish it had been of me to not tell my parents about the fact that I had called off my engagement after what they had said. My mother had just assumed that after the phone call, I might have confronted Zach, but since I had not told her anything about the aftermath of our fight.

She and my father had gone ahead and decided to surprise me and said that she had been feeling bad about how the two of us were fighting because of this and she wanted to make it up to both of us. I literally broke down into tears when she told me that they had sold the house and she tried on the phone, but I just didn't stop and after about ten minutes of crying, I finally told her the truth, and neither of us had any idea what to say after that. Luckily, my parents were not mad at me and just said that either way, even if I had broken off the engagement, it was fine because now they could use the money to invest in the diner and upgrade certain things. They told me that they were moving into a rented apartment now, much more practical and smaller than our home, and that

I had nothing to feel guilty for. But I just felt bad because they had done all of this for me and I hadn't even bothered to let them know about what was going on in my life. They did not blame me for anything, but I still feel like a total jerk. And Zach has not been talking to me since I left either and now I feel like even that fight was completely my fault because I was the one who did not tell him that I had rejected my parents' offer to pay for the wedding. We wouldn't have fought at all if I had not been keeping secrets from him as he said. My parents are not mad at me, but I still feel really bad about everything that's been happening and I feel like it has all been my fault and I owe an apology to everybody in my life. So I'd offer not telling my fiancé about my

parents offer to pay for the wedding and not telling my parents that I had called off the engagement. Update 1, hey, so it has been eight days since my post here and I've been doing a lot of introspection. Most of the comments seem to think that I was not actually the bad guy here for not talking to anybody about how I had broken off my engagement, not even my parents. Because I was very upset at the time and I can be excused for not immediately announcing it to everybody since I was still trying to process it and I hadn't discussed it with Zach either. So it was fine. And I'm really grateful for you guys letting me know that I am not the one to blame for what happened

with my parents, but I have still apologized to them. I told them that I was really sorry for not letting them know earlier and they told me that they had been considering selling the house anyway. Zach's visit just escalated the process. The handover is not yet complete and they have still some paperwork to finish up on. You guys can relax. My parents did not just sell a house within two. days. So I went to see the house and said goodbye to it one final time before it was sold off entirely.

It was emotional and my parents were feeling quite sentimental about it as well, but we got through it somehow. There was a lot of hugging and crying that day, but it's been three days now and I'm finally coming to terms with it. They have already made it there, so now it's about time that I do. I'm trying to do that with Sack as well. I'm not living at the hotel anymore. I have moved in with a friend because it's much cheaper that way. And on the day that I went to see the house for one last time, I also decided to drive down to where Zach and I live and speak to him. Unfortunately, that did not go quite as well as I had expected.

It was a Saturday three days back, so I knew that he would be at home because he usually had his weekends off. I could hear the television playing inside, but as soon as I rang the doorbell, everything went silent in the house, and I knew that he was avoiding me. I could even see his car in the driveway, so I knew that he was at home because he hated walking to places. So I rang the doorbell a couple more times,

but he was still pretending that he was not at home and so, I decided to use my keys. I had my keys all along, I just didn't want to intrude since things weren't good between us right now, but he forced me to do that. When I entered the house, he was sitting in the living room, pretending that he couldn't see me. It was kind of funny, but I still tried to talk to him, I told him that I was there to discuss

things with him, and it would be nice if he would at least look at me when I was trying to talk to him. Instead of just pretending that he wasn't at home, like a child. However, he still did not respond to me and continued to look the other way and that's when I started getting a little pissed off. I told him that he was being very immature about this whole thing and that I was here to genuinely clear the air between us since we had been together for quite some time, and we were We deserved a proper goodbye at the very least. But if he was not even going to pretend to give it a chance, then I was probably better off leaving.

That's when he turned around and finally told me that he was fine with it, he had made his peace with it, and he would appreciate it if I took my things back the next time that I came by and left him alone. I found that a bit hurtful because I was here to make things right with him, not fight even more. I was not here with the intention of telling him that I wanted to be engaged to him once again since I had already returned the ring the day that I had left home, and nor did I want to get back with him, but I just wanted to have a respectable breakup at least.

However, with the way that he was acting, I did not think that it would be possible so I started to leave. And then, he made some remark about how it was so typical of me to just abandon everything whenever things got tough. I did not appreciate that, so I turned around to argue with him because if a fight was what he wanted, I was not going to back down from it, especially after I had to come to make peace with him, but he was just giving me an attitude for no reason. When I asked him what he had meant by that statement, about how I would just abandon situations if it got too rough, since I don't ever recall having done that while we were dating. And he brought up some completely arbitrary and unrelated situations, like whenever we could get

into fights earlier, I would just walk out of the room instead of coming to a solution. I did not think that was fair at all because what he was referring to might have been true, but I had my reasons. Every time we would fight earlier, he would start getting very agitated and would yell at me. I thought he had anger issues because he would start screaming at my face very intensely and if things got too rough,

he would even start throwing stuff around, and I did not feel comfortable with that kind of behavior. And that is why I would walk out, not just because I did not want to confront the situation. So I reminded him that it was his behavior that would drive me to walk out of fights because I did not like the way he would behave with me. And I would always come back and sort things out with him

when he had a cool head and neither of us was yelling at each other. That's how we had been making it work in the past, but now, he was pretending as if it was all my fault that things were falling apart. I reminded him it was his aggressive and impulsive behavior that also led me to break up with him in the first place since he had absolutely no reason to go to my parents' house and try to lecture them about how to be good parents to me. He tried to defend himself once again and said that he never would have done that if I had been

transparent with him and told him that my parents had offered to pay for the expenses and I had said no, but I told him that that was none of his business. He should have just taken no for an answer when I had asked him not to talk to my parents about this instead of taking matters into his own hands. What he did, regardless of whether I had told him about my parents' offer or not, just went on to show that he did not think my opinions were important enough to be taken into consideration. I could not be with a man like that, and I regretted the fact that I had ever even thought about making things right with him and visited him because he clearly did not deserve the respect. And then, I walked out of the house and drove back to my friend's house and now, I've blocked him

everywhere. I'm going to go back in a couple more days to get all my stuff back and then, it's going to be over for real. Update 2, hey, so the sale of the house is complete now, and my parents have given me 30% of the amount that they received, which I think is really nice of them. The rest of it is going back into the diner and my dad has told me that if everything goes well, he might want me to inherit the diner and keep it running in the future and I think I might like that. I might start learning the ropes and stuff in a couple of years, let's see how it goes. But for now,

they are doing decently and I wish nothing but the best for my parents. My friend and I have been living together ever since that last update, but we have also been looking for apartments, so that I can move out soon because I need some space as well. I still haven't collected the rest of my belongings from Zach's house. I just don't want to see him right now. I know that he has been talking all sorts of crap about me to his friends and now, pretty much everyone knows that we have broken up. We haven't made a formal announcement yet and thankfully,

we haven't even sent out the invitations yet, but I'm considering putting up a post on my socials and just letting people know that this is over now. Update 3, hi, so it's been more than a month since I've broken off my engagement with Zach. I'm getting used to living the single life now, I still find myself missing him sometimes, but then I remember how things ended between us and then I scold myself for thinking about him. Anyway, last week, I announced the breakup online. Then I went over to his house in the evening to collect the rest of my things. I went along with my friend, so he wouldn't say anything stupid to me, and we wouldn't end up in another fight.

The entire time I was there, he did not say a word to each other and even when I left, we did not even say goodbye. Anyway, I did not let it affect me because I knew that I would be better off without after all the crap he has talked about me to his friends and the gossip that I'd been hearing

about myself, that he has been spreading, I highly doubt I would even want to say anything to him. He's been telling people that I'm a miser, I'm stingy and apparently, I'm a gold digger as well. He said he was only with me because I looked hot, but it was a bad choice because clearly, I have nothing going on inside my head and I'm too stupid to be with a man like him. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me because if it makes him feel better about himself, he can say what he wants, and the people who are genuinely my friends, are never going to speak

to him again. Anyway, I've managed to find a place with affordable rent and it's in a nice neighborhood too, so I'm looking forward to living here and making this my new home. My parents are doing well, thankfully, the diner looks great and they hired new staff to keep up because they've started doing home deliveries as well. Fingers crossed, things are going to be great now.