Reddit Stories - BETRAYED My Wife's INFIDELITY Led To A Decade Of Open Marriage - The Shocking Truth Unveiled

Episode Date: June 22, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #marriage #infidelity #openmarriage #betrayalSummary: A shocking revelation of a decade-long open marriage stemming from a wife's infidelity. The husband's initial betrayal led to an unconventional arrangement, causing turmoil and emotional strain. Secrets unveiled, shedding light on the complexities of trust, love, and forgiveness in relationships.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, marriage, infidelity, openmarriage, betrayal, trust, love, forgiveness, secrets, revelation, emotionalstrain, complexities, shockingtruth, husband, wifeBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Decided to have a non-exclusive relationship after my spouse was unfaithful and allowed her to date freely for a decade. However, when I developed feelings for a colleague, my former partner became erratic in attempting to sabotage. It. I, 47M, married to Lisa, 42F, for 17 years. Though we lived as a couple for only about seven years. A decade back, I caught Lisa cheating on me and she confessed that she had fallen out of love and wanted an open marriage. We have two kids, the elder was a toddler and the younger was still an infant when this happened. It was devastating for me.

She said back-to-back pregnancy took a toll on her physical and mental well-being so she wants to freshen up. Unfortunately, her way of relaxing was to bring different dicks to bed. Divorce was complicated at that point with two little kids and my meager income. I decided to let her get fucked while I moved upstairs of our duplex house. We became co-parents of our child. It wasn't as hunky dory as it sounds. We separated with a lot of bitterness and name-calling. Mostly it was from me.

Because she cheated. But eventually, we got caught up in work and life, and I moved on and mellowed down. Few months back, I met Kathy, 35F, at work. She's my junior at work. We vibed instantly. Bonding with her was the most natural thing to happen to me off late. It was no romantic relationship at the start. We hit off as understanding co-workers.

Happened to spend time beyond work. Still as friends. It was only last month when we made out and I felt something special about her. Since then, she has been crashing at my place quite often which is concerning my wife. Technically, Lisa is still my wife as we're still married. Lisa has gotten weird these days. Weird as in she is hanging around near me whenever Kathy and I are together. She commands authority like a wife.

I had to remind her that we are separated and I get to do anything. Just the way she has been doing it for years. It's hard to describe what she has. has been doing, but let me try. One day Kathy and I were having dinner at my kitchen space. Lisa shows up and asks, can I join you guys? It became a super awkward moment for both of us. Kathy and I looked at each other with astonished faces. Lisa sat down with her plate without even waiting for an answer. We had dinner sitting like strangers and smiling uninterested at Lisa's stupid and forced conversation. Our dinner was ruined.

but I gave the benefit of doubt to Lisa that she was just trying to fit in. Then there was another instance where she acted Bossy trying to impose her rights as a wife. Kathy and I were upstairs watching a movie. Lisa barged in and asked me to come with her. I asked what's the matter and she was like, your kids need you. The younger one has a science project to complete and you need to help him. I was astonished because we had split the schoolwork for our kids. I get to assist the elder kid and she would do it for the younger one.

I said I had already done my part for our elder son and this is on her. She got furious and yelled, is this kid not yours? Instead of helping him out, you are here lurking around. Such a dud. It led to a full-blown argument between Lisa and me. Kathy got awkward and excused herself and left. After that incident, Kathy told she won't be hanging out at my place. Though we are meeting at hers, but the thing is why would I compromise on my life when I have never raised a finger on hers?

She has been leading her life the way she wanted, bringing any Tom, Dick and Harry at the house, but I chose to look the other way. But when I have found someone to bond with, Lisa is acting bitch and deliberately trying to break it. I confronted her last day and she said she wasn't bothered about my closeness with Kathy. She refused to acknowledge that she had been acting around. She says I was overthinking. I said if she continues to put her leg into my space, then I would think about getting divorced. Tears welled up in her eyes and she said she didn't mean to disturb us. She was just anxious about our son's unfinished project and she was busy with her work and that's why asked me for help.

I said that wasn't a call for help, it was no less than gaslighting. She then called up Kathy and apologized and asked her to come over. Kathy accepted the apology but she drew her boundaries and said she prefers meeting me at her place. I'm at a fix now. I want to get rid of Lisa now. I'm afraid that she would ruin my brooding relationship with Kathy. I'm thinking of getting a divorce now. The only reason why I didn't go for divorce back then was because I didn't want my children to choose between their mom and dad.

Now, I'm thinking whether I should get done with it and prioritize myself over everything else, even my children. Or should I wait few more years for my children to grow up and then make a move? Not sure if Kathy would wait for me until then. Ah, I'm still angry with Lisa and her decision to open the marriage. I'm also angry at myself for agreeing with her and not pushing back enough. Edit, sorry for all the mumbo-jumbo and missing information particularly around Lisa's cheating in our separation dynamics.

People are saying it's difficult to give any advice without this clarity. So, here's everything. It's going to be long. You can skip this part if you aren't interested in knowing the history. This was like 10 years ago, so I might miss some details here and there. For months after the birth of our younger son, Lisa started acting up. She didn't let me come close. She said she didn't feel ready for sex.

Pregnancy and breastfeeding have made her aversive to intimacy. I respected her decision, but she was also drifting apart emotionally. I suggested we seek a couple therapy, but she shrugged off saying it was just her postpartum thing and would recover eventually. It was almost a year when I lost patience and confronted her that we need to address the elephant in the room. She either goes to therapy with me or tells me the truth what's wrong. She gaslighted the situation that I was being insensitive and all those crap, but I didn't let it slide this time and dug out the truth. I snooped on her phone but didn't find anything concrete. She had deleted most of the chats and emails.

I don't remember exactly how I got the queue, but one day she said she was going out shopping with her friends. I followed her car and found her cheating. She was sleeping with the young college goer back then. I barged into his house. Okay, not barged, knocked. A shirtless guy answered while Lisa was on the couch in her lingerie, trying to cover herself. I held that guy by his neck and was almost about to punch him when Lisa intervened and pleaded to leave him. She cried that it was not his fault, he is just one of the guys she's hooking up with.

It blew my mind. What the hell? One of the guys. She confessed hooker. up with a couple of guys. The guy standing in front of me had no idea what was happening or if she was married with kids. We came back home and I did all sorts of things which any man in my situation would do. No, not hitting, I'm a man of no violence. I called up her parents and revealed her truth in front of everyone. I insisted on a divorce. I even hired a lawyer and discussed the case.

But as the situation progressed and the lawyer explained the reality, it shook me. There was no real gain for me except loss. As the children were tiny, they would need their mother. At most, I can get the joint custody which would be again at the mercy of Lisa to let me meet them and dictate the terms. Yeah, of course I could knock the courtroom door if she doesn't comply with the court order, but how many times would a normal man want to get into this law and order thing? We live in a no-fault state so no moral policing for her. I still have to pay alimony.

Child support is anyway unavoidable. So basically, I take care of all the responsibilities as a dad, but I'm left at Lisa's mercy to spend time with my children. Lisa, on the other hand, was also against divorce. She suggested that instead of divorce, let's open our marriage and we can come back to each other whenever we want. I knew I never wanted her back, but divorce was unaffordable at that time. The only viable option was to separate and live as housemates and co-parent our children. So we did that. Though she chooses to call it open marriage or whatever the shit she wants,

I consider this to be a dead plan and we are separated. In the last ten years, Lisa have had many partners. Though she claims nothing serious with any of them, I believe she had at least three partners who were more than just physical. They came home, she went hiking and on vacations with them. It was no easy for me to see her getting knocked up. First her cheating and then her multiple partners banging her in our bedroom. We have a duplex house.

I took the guest bedroom upstairs. The stairs leading to it have a passage through the back door. We had bought that house from an Asian couple who constructed this house to have a grown-up son living with them upstairs with privacy, but sadly the sun moved out and the couple sold it to us as it was too big for them. The main entrance of the house opens in a living room with a huge closed kitchen with dining space, a master bedroom, and a store room which we made as our children's room. Upstairs, it was a guest room, the same size as the master bedroom and the remaining space had a huge library sort of structure for reading and for hosting parties. That space

leads to the top of the house where there is a small terrace. Since I was put upstairs, I was able to see most of the things happening down. Sometimes I wished I could shut my eyes, but for my children's sake, I remained vigilant. At the start, I also jumped into dating sprees, but after a couple of months, I felt hollow and meaningless. I stopped it. Instead, I focused on more meaningful stuff. I joined a badminton club and worked on my athletic body. I was a sports enthusiast in college, so I went back to pursuing field games on weekends. I joined a hiking club that organizes solo hikes every two months. It's like you cannot take your friend slash spouse or anyone known. You go alone and there would be bunch of other people who are also alone. So basically you

hike with strangers. It was damn fun. I did that for two years continuously and now I do it only twice a year. I have had hookups here and there in these last 10 years but no emotional affair and no long-term partners. Didn't feel that connection with anyone else. With Kathy, things are different. I feel happy around her. She's the woman I feel I can give love another chance. but the devil of my life has come hunting me down there as well. The current situation remains the same. Kathy refuses to come to my place. I'm worried that she would go distance from me and I don't want to lose her.

The situation is practically choosing between Kathy and my children and I'm struggling to make a choice. Update 1, Hello All, thanks for all the suggestions and comments. I appreciate all of it good and bad both. I sought therapy which helped a lot in understanding my focal point and what I wanted at this point in life. As you guys said, the children are entering their teens so it's just a matter of few years before they would walk out to lead their individual lives and it doesn't make sense to miss my chance of being happy with Kathy. I had a transparent discussion with Kathy. I told her about my feelings. I told her I want to be with her and if she feels likewise I can work this out.

She said she feels likewise, but is reluctant because of my family dynamics, she just doesn't feel comfortable being around my legal wife. She's fine with the children around me. I said I can work this out. I'm going to move out. The children can decide where they want to stay. They are mature enough to make this decision. They can also choose to shuffle between moms and dads. Kathy voted in for it. My therapist suggested children counseling where they could be made aware of our marital status in an age-appropriate manner. I told Lisa about the counseling thing and she flipped out.

She said I was being selfish and nuts for dragging my children into this mess. That I'm messing up with their life by getting serious with Kathy and I should prioritize my family over my own selfish desires. I lost my shit at this. Really, Lisa. Are you the one getting? giving these preachings of family and morals BS. What happened to your ethics when you were getting knocked up by different dicks

while your children were still breastfeeding and rolling in their cribs? I asked her to back off and took the kids to the counselor. It was helpful. The children have received it well. They kind of appreciated that we were sticking along for so long for their sake. They also agree that I have the right to be happy for the rest of my life. I told Lisa I would be filing for divorce. She acted shocked and started sobbing.

She said, I thought we decided never to get divorced and be with each other throughout. Now when you found this woman, you are leaving your family to be with her. I have also met so many men who wanted to marry me, but I never traded off my married life for them. I said, stop trying to guilt trip me, this isn't helping. Cut the crap and sign the papers. I'll be paying for the children's education until college. You can keep the house and the car. That would be your alimony.

I'll be moving out. I'm choosing my happiness over money because now I can afford it. Back then I couldn't. She cried and tried all means to talk me out of the divorce thing. She said I can move out and live with Kathy and remain married. I said I love Kathy and don't want her to be called my mistress. I know no one would name call her that way, but Lisa would. She can go any length to humiliate others. The papers should be in any day. I'm moving in with Kathy next month. I'm waiting

for my children's annual exams to be over. I would be taking them for a trip and then I would move out. I would be relieved when all these get settled for all. Update 2, I tell you this woman is a real bitch. As I mentioned in my last update, I was off for vacation with kids. This woman used this opportunity to pull off her evil plan. Lisa sobs her way to Kathy and asks her to back off. She told her that she's tearing apart our family and that our children would be suffering because of her. Lisa tried to guilt-trip Kathy, but when Kathy didn't budge, Lisa said that I wasn't serious about her and Kathy was just a fling for me. Lisa is a shrewd and cruel woman.

She knows very well how to play her cards. She knew I was in a low network zone with kids so Kathy wouldn't contact me. And she didn't. Had she been any other woman, she would go crazy at this fling statement, but Kathy remained composed and waited for my return. She had the hotel number I was put up in, but she didn't disturb me. That's what I love about her. She's a secure woman despite my complex situation.

When I returned home and got to know about Lisa's malicious move, I stormed to her door and gave her the yellings of her life. Should have done this earlier to get the shit out of her head. Her entitlement behavior has crossed all limits and now no one is going to bear that. I have moved out of the house. My children have also decided to stay with me but we don't have a spare room for them. So, I'm looking out for a bigger house to accommodate my children. Until then they are at their moms. Lisa threw all kinds of tantrums when I was moving out. From guilt tripping to

yellings, from gaslighting to sobbing and pleading, asking for another chance to be given to our relationship. I said our relationship was over ten years ago. We were just housemates and co-parents. The reality is I have moved on from loving her. She's nothing to me. I love Kathy and want to spend the rest of my life with her. When the divorce papers reached Lisa, she tore it away. My lawyer had to send her a notice threatening to sue her for damaging a legal document. Only then did she mellow down and agree to sign it.

The divorce proceedings are on. I haven't checked upon my STBX since then. I went to pick up my children twice but didn't enter the house. And yeah, a lot of you asked about my children's age. They are 11 and 13 now. Quite mature to understand the divorce and separation. Update 3, so glad to announce that St.BX is now my official ex-wife. The highlight of this update is, the divorce is settled and my children have moved in with me.

But they would be visiting their moms every two weeks or whenever they want to. to. The last month had been hectic, renting a house and moving stuff. We had not told Lisa about children moving in with me until I rented a new house. The children and I, all were aware that she would break seven hells on us. So best to avoid or delay it as much as possible. The children said that they would keep their bags packed and sneak out with me when Lisa wouldn't be around. But I decided to go in a legal way. Don't want to get into another trouble with that woman. As per our divorce clause, we have to give a three-day notice to each other if we want to take our children for more than two days. So, I went home and told her that the

children wanted to move in with me and I would be coming in three days to pick them up. As expected, she freaked out. Good for her that she didn't go violent, breaking things and all, it would have played better for us. But no, she chose the emotional way. Hugged the kids and cried, saying sorry for everything and asking them not to abandon her. She tried her best to emotionally manipulate them to stay with her and she was even successful in doing that with the younger one. He said that he wants to stay with Mama. Kathy had told me that situations like this could brew and I should be prepared for their last minute back out. So, when he called, I said, cool, dad loves you no matter what. But the elder son still stood solid to his decision to

move out. I said, sure, I'll pick you up. I don't know what happened in between, but when I went to pick him up, both the boys were ready with their stuff. I hugged them both and shipped them away. I didn't ask them what happened there. It's already so traumatic for them. I don't want to scribble and torture them. Kathy and I are trying to make them comfortable at our house. We are involving them in setting up their room. Everything goes in there as per their taste. When the children were leaving the house, I was expecting Lisa to give her last try, but she had given up by then. She just sat there crying and sobbing. She hugged the boys tightly, told them how sorry she was about her behavior, and said she loves them and they were free

to come back to mamas whenever they wanted. She asked me if I had a minute for a coffee. Her ask sounded naive and genuine, so I obliged. Her tone was remorseful. She apologized and this time it didn't sound fake. She said, I was delusional all this while, thinking you would never leave me. When Kathy came into your life, I didn't consider her to be a threat. I thought her to be one of those flings that would fizzle out in a month. I guess I took you for granted because of the security you provided to me and the children

despite everything I did to you. I didn't realize I was mean and narcissistic and when I did, it's too late, I guess. I just smiled and suppressed my emotions from flowing out. I stood up to leave. She came forward to hug me. I hugged her back. That was our first hug in ten years. I can't contemplate how I felt about it.

Nor can I express how I feel now. After the last talk with her, I'm neither. they're happy nor sad, just numb, that's what it is. Last six to seven months have been quite a life-changing phase for me. I guess I would take time to process everything. But, thanks for all the support. You guys have been the best. I might update the thread if something progresses from here. Now on to the next story. Story two. Wife cheated on me with her own cousin, so I exposed their affair to the entire family and divorce her. My wife and I knew each other our entire lives before we got married.

It was a really sweet story of childhood friends who fell in love young and got married. When we started dating, we were each other's first kiss. She was the only woman that I had ever been with, and I thought the same with her. We were neighbors growing up and we would often play together as children. I knew her family and she knew mine. Everybody would always joke with us about how they knew we would be together forever. After we both graduated college, we got married and we started planning our future. We ended up buying a house for my uncle in our hometown so we could be close to our families.

After a couple of years, we decided to start building a family together. We have two children, twins, and our life was perfect. out of the blue one evening while we were watching a TV show, my wife asked me if I regretted never being with another woman. I immediately told her that I didn't. I'll admit that there have been other women I've been attracted to. Sleeping with them had never crossed my mind, though. I loved my wife very much and she was the only one for me. I asked her about why she brought that up and she told me that she had just been thinking about it. She explained that she was worried that I would get bored with her.

She brushed it off then and we continued watching our show. When my wife was a teenager, her aunt married a new man that I remember it being a big deal at the time because her aunt went through a very bitter divorce and was staying at my wife's family home for quite some time. When she married the man, she ended up moving out. The man that she married had two children of his own around our age, so it felt like we had two new friends in the neighborhood. Both were boys and they were always kind of rowdy.

One of them, let's call him Paul, has always been a bit of a problem child. Paul would have wild parties, he would get in trouble, and he slept around quite a bit. Despite all of that, he was always very fun to be around. He was the life of the party. In his adult years, he's calmed down quite a bit. He had a good job and he was on the straight and narrow. His only major issue was his inability to remain in relationships. They always seemed to fail before they got too serious and Paul would get pretty beat up about it.

Paul was dating a girl that he really liked and she ended up breaking up with him. He was hurt, so he reached out to my wife and me to talk. My wife, being the sensitive and caring woman that she was, went over to his house to make him dinner and listened to him. I didn't go because I didn't want to overwhelm him. I never expected that anything would happen between them. She came home later that night and when I asked her about what happened she was very evasive with her answers. She didn't seem to want to tell me about what Paul said to her. I thought it was fishy at the time, but again I never thought she was doing anything inappropriate with him. Looking back, a lot of how she was acting after that night seemed like

she felt guilty. She was being very generous to me with a lot of things. She kept cooking my favorite meals, she surprised me with small gifts, and she complimented me all the time. She was normally nice, but it was a little over the top. It felt almost like a child who broke something they shouldn't have been playing with trying to make up for it. About a week after the night she visited Paul, she went back. She told me she was going to bring him some food just to make sure he was getting something healthy to eat. I offered to come along so I could check in on him, but my wife told me that it would be better if it was just her. Just assume that it had something to do with him being in an emotional state. I stayed back and put the kids to bed while she went to visit Paul.

She came back a few hours later and told me that they had a long talk about everything. She didn't give me any details about what he said. She started to visit Paul by herself a lot more frequently over the next few weeks. As I said before, Paul dated a lot of women and broke up with a lot of women. I had never seen him so distraught over a breakup before. The more time my wife was spending with him, the less it was making sense. She came home one night and I asked her about what was really going on with Paul. I didn't think that she was sleeping with him, but I thought something else was happening. It was just also out of the ordinary. She stuck to her story about Paul being very emotional after the breakup. I offered to maybe go talk to him and give him some

advice, but she told me that it probably wouldn't be much help. Regardless of what she said, I was worried about him. He was my family and my friend and I wanted him to be okay. Over my lunch break at work the following day, I stopped by his house to check on him. At the time this was happening, my wife wasn't working. She was a stay-at-home mom and the kids were in school. So, she had all day to do whatever she wanted to do. Her car was in the driveway when I arrived. She didn't tell me she was going to visit Paul that afternoon so I was a little surprised.

I approached the door, ready to ring the bell and pop in to see. see what was going on. Before I even touched it, I could hear noises right on the other side of the door. It sounded like they were having sex and my wife was being pinned up against the door. I was frozen in place. That was absolutely the last thing I expected to see. I couldn't even believe it. I don't know why I did it, but I ended up calling my wife on the other side of the door. I heard her phone go off and I heard them both freeze for a moment while she looked at it and rejected the call. I heard some muffled conversation as Paul asked her if she was okay. My wife told him that it was just a little weird that I was calling in the middle of the day and that worried her.

Paul made a joke about having something that could make her forget all about that. They started kissing again and they walked off somewhere else in the house. I stood outside for a few minutes contemplating what I wanted to do. I just caught my wife having sex with Paul. Paul was her cousin, not related by blood, but he was still very much a part of the family. It took me a few minutes before I put everything together. I knew right away that it was over between her and me. Our entire relationship, all of the years we knew each other, was going to be flushed down the toilet.

I was going to divorce her, and I was going to divorce her, and I was going to be. was going to get proof of what happened before doing so. I knew Paul had a spare key hidden under a rock by his house, so I grabbed it and let myself in. I could hear the noises coming from the bedroom and I made my way there. The door was wide open and I pulled my phone out to take a quick video of both of them. After about 30 seconds passed, I knocked on the door and both of them turned around to look at me. They tried to cover themselves up and explain what was happening. The absolute funniest part of this was my wife chasing me out of the house telling me she was only sleeping with him to help get his mind off the other woman. As if that made it okay. I was flabbergasted. I called off work for the rest of the day and sat in my car while I looked for a good divorce attorney online.

I reached out to one and set up a meeting. While I waited for that I went home and packed a bag to go stay at my parents' house while everything was figured out. I grabbed the kids from school and brought them along with me. My wife was blowing up my phone, but all I did was text her and let her know that I had the kids and they were safe, but I needed time away from her. The next time I saw her I was serving her with papers. That just wasn't enough for me though. She cheated on me with her own cousin, destroying our family. I wanted to get back at her for what she did. I thought about it quite a bit and I realized that.

not many people would be understanding of their relationship. Again, he wasn't a blood relative, but he was still family. I crafted a heartfelt Facebook post explaining to everybody that after years of being together my wife and I were divorcing. I explained what happened, sparing very little detail I might add. A ton of family members commented saying that what she did was wrong and they were telling me how sour they were for what I went through. Later that same day, my wife and Paul both reached out to me and asked me to take the post down

because they were getting very hateful messages from family and friends alike. I told them that I didn't have to take it down and I didn't plan on it. Both my wife and her cousin were pretty much barred from every family function that we had. They lost a ton of friends and pretty much everybody in our family shamed them for what they did. We lived in a small community in word travels fast, so when people were people, Pretty much everybody in town heard that Paul slept with his cousin, it was a little more difficult for him to find new girlfriends. Both of them were humiliated by the post. My wife and I are divorced now and I was awarded the house and all of our assets because I purchased them all.

She has received no spousal support from me and until she gets a job I have primary custody of the kids.