Reddit Stories - BETRAYED_ SHATTERED Dreams of a Once PROMISING Union_

Episode Date: August 19, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayed #shattereddreams #promisingunion #relationships #heartbreakSummary:A tale of betrayal and shattered dreams within a once promising union. Dive into the emotional turmoil, questioning loyalty and trust, as the story unfolds the complexities of relationships falling apart.Tags:redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, betrayed, shattereddreams, promisingunion, relationships, heartbreak, betrayal, trustissues, emotionalpain, lovegonebad, marriageproblems, relationshipadvice, heartache, movingon, healing, forgivenessBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My formerly encouraging spouse suddenly betrayed me and destroyed what I believed was an ideal union. I am at a loss for words to convey the intense emotions I am currently experiencing, as I am still in a state of shock. More in disbelief than I am angry. We, me 42M husband, her 39, were married for 17 years. I have never ever thought she would do this to me. I really thought we had happy family that everyone envies. We have been through our financial hardship together during our earlier days.

She was very supportive of my then startup and basically lived off of her little income and I really did appreciate and thanked her for going through it with me. I swore to live my life for her. I really don't know where to start or how long this has been going on. Thinking back, the first suspicion I had was about two years ago when she had to drive up to San Jose. where in Southern Cow, for a funeral for one of her friend's dad and spend a night there. Then called me to spend two more days there while she was up there. I had no doubts then. But one thing I noted was she didn't talk anything about her three nights when she was up there.

She only answered when I asked her. She's usually a very talkative person and talks a lot about anything and everything. But hey, it's a funeral so not a really good subject to talk about in detail. I passed on it. Last year one of her friend got married and she asked to spend a night for a bachelorette party slash bridal shower. The new the bride and I knew about the upcoming wedding that we were attending. Again, not a word about the party. It's a bachelorette party so what happens there stays there, so I guess I was okay with her not saying much.

But in the past she has said a lot about what she did in the other bridal shower. Not the details but at least what she ate, who was there, etc. I started making enough for her not to work and she's a full-time housewife for about eight years now. There were two instances that I know of where she was late to pick up my child at school. One she said she was out shopping and got caught up in traffic. She did not have anything new purchased that day and said she didn't find anything she liked. Another time, she said she took a nap and slept in. To me, those are not acceptable.

I wanted to ask my child about the time she was late for pickup, but I really didn't want to have my child involved. But I may now. COVID-19, this is when I started being suspicious. My child has told me that she's been going out for an extended time. When I asked her about it, she would make some BS stuff up and I started doubting and became paranoid. Been about three weeks since my child's school started to have option of kids going down. back. I rather not have my child go back, but she insisted. She's a full-time stay-home mom, so I see no reason to hurry back to school. Unless she has something else in her mind. I got

paranoid and I thought of something that maybe I shouldn't have, nor should I. I used to have an app that I used to record my slash and her snoring at night. I had the app running on my tablet and my intention was to catch her on a phone call. Nothing notable happened until Monday, I got more than a phone call. Don't want to go into detail but I stopped listening to it as I got sick to my stomach. I did not confront her about it yet. I don't know how to, and whether to use the recording is hard evidence. I really don't know how but I will have to act quickly.

Divorce is the first thing on my mind but raising child in a divorced family is not my preference. Plus her being a stay-home mom and me having a business, I will have to give up a lot on my financials. I don't know. Edit, thank you everyone who commented below, although I was not able to respond to every comments. It looks like my first step is to go seek legal advice. I'm in CA, which is community state so we will have to split our assets. I don't mind giving up half of the savings in our property, but I'd hate to give up my business. Also my bigger concern is our child.

It is very difficult. Until I take further actions, I will not confront her. I'm disgusted to sleep in the bed where she made love with another man. I'll just have to bear with it for now. I'm so tempted to go through her phone but I'm really scared to see what I may see. I'll keep you posted. Update, first of all, thank you everyone for all your support and useful advice and resources. Approaching two weeks since I caught her infidelity.

The biggest decision I needed to make was whether to try to stay together and go on a divorce route. One thing that really shocked me was that I did not see any warnings to this. I always thought we had a good happy family. I decided to lean towards keeping our marriage. Or at least try to. I thought I would regret less if I divorced later after trying. This would be a very difficult burden to live with, but at least try to. at least I would try. I did consult with several attorneys. Some of them had free initial consulting

and some charged up front. One challenge was to find a way to make the payments as we share all of our finances and I did not have a payment method where she would not know or find out soon enough. Some take away from the consultings were. California being community state, all of the assets we accumulated during our marriage should be split 50-50. We pretty much started our marriage from scratch, so that means everything we have now. However, we can make a settlement so I can keep all of my shares in my business. Then I will have to give up most of the other assets. Also, she has been out of workforce for eight years, so there will be spousal support regardless of whether she opt to find a work or not. She will probably not make much if she opts to work.

Also the child support. It sounded like the custody battle will be an uphill battle. The court will care about the best interest of the child and our child is super attached to the mom for since her being stay-home mom and they spent most of the time together. Also, California is a no-fault state so infidelity goes out the window. One thing to note, the initial intake forms that attorneys require asks about my annull income. To me, that sounded like them asking me how much they can make for me. Also, they won't give me a clear answer until I hire them and pay retention fee. Their reasoning is that every case and circumstance is different, so they need more details to work with. From the resources I read through said to gather as much evidence as possible.

Maybe hire a PL. Maybe the long game was the right way to go. One thing I really wanted to dig into was her phone, but I had no way to get into her. I tried but the face ID does not work when she's asleep. It has been a long week and I could not sleep or work right and it was too much too much too. bear. I never ever, in my wildest dream thought I divorce. I grew very anxious and out of patience. Last Friday night, I waited for her to come out of shower and told her I need to talk to her. She had no idea what was coming to her and I asked her if she has something that I should know

that she doesn't think that I know. She said no and why I'm asking. So I rephrased it and asked her if she has something to confess. Her face got red and she grabbed her for her for. phone and walked into the bathroom. I followed her, but she quickly went in and locked the door. I banged on the door asked her to come out because we need to talk, but she started getting irritated and turned on the hairdryer. We kept yelling back and forth while she was drying her hair. This went on for a while and it took me a while to realize that it's easy to unlock the bathroom door from outside. I unlocked it using a small screwdriver and she was sitting on the toilet with her phone. I tried to grab her phone, but she held onto it tight and wasn't about to give up

easily. I told her why she's doing this to me. And she's still telling me do what? I dragged her out of the bathroom and told her we need to talk. I told her to tell me everything I need to know that I should that might jeopardize our marriage. At this time her face got really red and she said she doesn't have anything to say. I actually had another plan to press her and lead her to confess, some reason I went straight to the recording. And for the first time since we were together, we had some physical altercation. She jumped on me to take away the tablet. She was hysterical and I could see her using all of her force to take it away from me. I just held it away from her with one hand, and I really had no intention of keeping it away from her, and didn't really want

to hear what was going on for too long. So she took it away from me fairly easily, and she slammed it on the table to break it. I told her to explain that and she said you can't do this and stormed into the bedroom crying. I asked her who it was and how long has this been going on? She kept sobbing and did not say a word. I told her whoever he is, she can go live with him and I will start new too. And she kept saying no and that's not how it is. It was getting late at night, I know she's not sleeping and I can't sleep but she won't talk. It was after 2 a.m. I was finally able to make her talk. And now she's playing victim card. She said I showed no affection and love for her and said our marriage slash relationship is hollow. What? I've been working Maya off so she doesn't have to work,

I've been buying her what she needs, go on a family vacation once or twice a year, I've been good to her parents. What else she want for me? All she was saying was the thing she did to me and how raising a child slash full-time housewife is also his full-time job and what I did not do to her. It left me really speechless how selfish her thoughts were. As for who this guy was, he's a friend from the area we were before we moved. She didn't say how they met. I told her if she wants to keep our marriage, I need to talk to him. But she said she will end the relationship herself. But this is a big no to me. I need to talk to him and sort things out.

She said she will let me know. Also, she said it's been only recent when they started meeting. Probably BS. I asked her about the funeral and bridal shower, but she said I can check with her friends on those. But I think it would be too late to check on those now. If she already talked to her friends to lie for her. I pressed a lot of things to her, but I feel like I did not get much clear responses from her. I spent the night without much sleep.

Maybe I did for minutes here and there. It wasn't until that morning she apologized. She was sobbing and telling me how she's ashamed of what happened and what terrible things she did. And how she never meant to be in that position. How she loves me and our child and we need a therapy to stay together. I can't really tell if she's being truthful or just trying to get away with it for time being. Yesterday was a difficult day for both of us. I got the AP's number and I called him but he did not answer.

I left him a short voicemail and texted him that I need to talk and later he texted me that he thought our marriage was falling apart. I called him right after I got the text and he didn't answer. So I asked her what she told the AP about our marriage and if she told him our marriage is falling apart and she says she never said that. A lot more happened than what I wrote here but I'll stop here for her. now and update more later. At the end, I concluded that I want to try to keep our marriage if possible. But I'm hating my life now. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Caught my wife cheating with the man she hired to fix our fence, so I divorced her. I don't know what to do. I'm sad, terrified. Having horrible thoughts. I'm not a perfect man. But I thought I had the

perfect life. I'm in the National Guard, but work full-time in big industry. I make over six figures a year. I work out. I built my own house. Built my own small farm. I've been with my STBX for 11 years. We finally got married two years ago. I just returned from a combat deployment. We were ready to have kids. I discovered she was with a man she hired to fix our while I was gone for over six months. They had unprotected sex numerous times. She fell in love with him. She did things and felt things with him she never did with me.

She found her small town cowboy she always wanted. I'm not a cowboy. She doesn't know that I know about the extreme depth of their infidelity. She has acted weird ever since I've been home, claiming she lived for a year by herself and she's adjusted to me being gone. The real reason I think is that she's in love with him, but only stays with me because I never left her. That she knows I'm a good provider and protector. He's just a younger, hot cowboy who is married and has kids and fucks clients.

What did I do wrong? I know I have to work on my vulnerability, but this hurts so fucking bad. She talked about having kids with him and running away together. She's living this double life and pretending everything is fine. She's planning our planning season this year. We bought more chickens. She talks about having children with me and scheduling doctor's appointments. She hasn't realized how utterly broken I am as I hide behind the severe stoicism the military taught me.

I've spoken with my best friend about it. Discussed the details. He thinks I should file for divorce and kick her out. He says if I try to fix it with her, we can't be friends. Part of my Catholic nature, we weren't married in the Catholic Church, thinks I can fix this and make it work. I don't think it's possible. What will happen if I deploy again? I don't want to start over.

I'm in my mid-30s and feel like I'm running out of time to have a dedicated wife and a farm full of kids who I want to raise to be great Americans. All I can do is cry in silence and keep the barrel of my pistol out of my mouth while I try to figure out how to approach her and have this discussion. I don't know how to start over. I don't know how to let go. I thought I was the strongest man I knew. I'm broken in half and I'm lost. Please God, help me. Update 1.

I broke down crying randomly three times driving to work this morning listening to the Bible in a year podcast when Father Mike was praying for those trying to have children. The last time I cried was 2010 when my friend got killed returning from Iraq. Maybe this is acceptance. I scheduled a consultation with two lawyers to start filing procedures. I don't think this is savable. She has no remorse.

I think she's a sociopath. I have been unable to schedule any in-person mental health sessions. First appointments are over three weeks out. That's bullshit. I'm going to try and find a priest from my local parish. I told my mom and my closest friends today. That was really hard. I haven't confronted her yet, but I'm making plans.

Update 2. I have two legal consultations today to get filing for divorce. I hired a pie based on the suggestions from you all. This guy has five aliases, a suspended license, and one conviction on his record. He's 28 years old, married with two kids and lives 15 minutes from my house. I woke up in a panic attack last night while she slept next to me and started bawling my eyes out saying I'm sorry. She said, hey, maybe it's the workout supplements you're taking or it's from something you picked up overseas. I've never seen you this upset.

Maybe you should go see a doctor. Either she's playing me super hard or she's as clueless as a cat with a food dish in front of her face. Her birthday is January 29th, but I'm working at the refinery that week. So, she's going to Key West with her friends from February 3rd to 6th. I'm planning on confronting her when she comes back, presenting her with the divorce papers, and asking her to leave to go live to go live with her mom or sister. I love her so much. I need to let her go.

This is the other God is revealing to me. This was supposed to happen and he gave me the grace to find the evidence of the infidelity to prevent me from having children with her. You guys and gals have been so supportive and it's helped me bring me out of a dark place. Thank you so much. I'll keep updating as it goes. Update 3. I'm working night shift this week at the refinery.

I woke up around 1345. I got a message from the pie I hired that she had lunch with him at Kedoba while I was sleeping and she said she was out shopping. When she got back I asked her if she went out for lunch. She said she only went to Costco and Morris's. She was blatantly lying to my face again, straight face like everything was normal. She just tried telling me that I just started crying while the song The End by Elliot Greer was playing because of my pre-workout I was drinking since I always work out before shift. I was screaming fuck you while repping out 315 pounds and five sets of 10. She just said, wow, you get frustrated when you work out.

in my CrossFit gym in the garage. Either this lady is fucking with me or she really thinks she's getting away with this. The plan is to confront her February 7th when she returns. I'm in the process of getting all the paperwork filed and set so I can be in position of favorability and I can have closure on my terms. Update 4. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I confronted her this morning.

Notified her whole family, as well as the cowboy. is now pregnant wife and his family. She says she can change and wants this life. She didn't tell me because she knew it would hurt me. It was just a fling. It didn't mean anything. That guy lied to her and she didn't know better. She left for her sister's house. I stuck to my principals. Her sister and family have resulted to gaslighting me. Apparently I caused this. Unprotected sex with another guy is apparently dismissive when I'm emotionally unavailable. She told Cowboy's wife it was all made up. Cowboy and his wife have decided to work it out.

She's pregnant with his third child. My wife's family said, well family first implying I'm not part of their family and they will side with my wife versus trying to help us heal. She scoffed when I recommended she go to individual therapy and try to work this out. She thinks it's all going to be fine and that I can be manipulative. into staying. Update 5. She signed the paperwork and I filed for divorce this morning. We had a long talk. She said she 10-tenths wants to fix this marriage and will put in the effort over the next 89 days to prove that. I'm skeptical. She's looking for houses in Texas and trying to transfer with her company. I hope she gets the position it will make this a lot

easier. Update 6. Today, May 11th, the divorce is final. I ended up with a house, she's moving to Texas and transferring jobs. She still has no remorse, and never took responsibility for throwing our life away. I still can't update my last post, so here is an update and a new post. Thank you to everyone who kept tabs on me. This still hurts, but I'm still moving forward. Deployment was tough. Coming home to a situation that ended in a divorce was even worse. The past several months since I have returned home from the Middle East has been the most difficult season of my life. Of course there are two sides to every story, but this particular situation absolutely broke me as a man. It broke me down to the foundation I had come to build my life on.

I had to rediscover my vulnerability. Sometimes it's okay. to ask for help and admit you cannot handle something on your own. Grief demands a witness, as Dr. John Deloney always says. This was pain I could not simply internalize. The faith I rediscovered overseas has carried me throughout this, and I am very thankful for that. Trying to determine why people do evil things, or commit betrayal, have been difficult questions that I still don't have answers to. Evil hates the light and truth is revealed by the light.

Everything happens for a reason. Even if that reason was to tell you that having a family and a life with someone in particular was not the intended path you were supposed to be walking on. If it wasn't for my faith, my closest friends from the academy, friends and family back home, and the men and women I deployed with constantly checking in on me, I'm not sure where I'd be right now. To those you kept calling and texting when I was in some very dark places, thank you.