Reddit Stories - BETRAYED_ The Price of SEEKING CONNECTION_

Episode Date: June 13, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #friendship #trust #betrayal #connectionSummary: BETRAYED_ The Price of SEEKING CONNECTION_ explores the consequences of seeking connection at any cost. It delves into the complexities of relationships, trust, and betrayal, highlighting the price one may pay for the desire to connect with others.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, friendship, trust, betrayal, connection, seeking, consequences, cost, complexities, price, desire, connect, others, story, narrativeBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

Desired to relocate to improve our connection but when I informed my partner, he scolded me extensively until I was on the verge of tears, then his former spouse who had always been mean to me revealed he did the same to her. Hello all. I, 31F, have been living with my boyfriend, 42M, for a little over six years. From the very start everything moved so fast and I jumped into a new life before thinking. There is so much to say about the six-year history we have, mixed with good, but a lot of bad. He is divorced with two kids. The kids were 10 and 8 when we started dating,

now they are 16 going on 17 and 14 going on 15. I have no kids and never married but I do have the best Lil Pooch who is now 13 years old. We have been good the last six to eight weeks so this may come to a surprise. No, there were no recent big fights. We have been going about life in this routine. I wake up, go to work, come straight home, walk our dogs, we just adopted a new pup seven months ago, cook dinner, clean up, shower and then bedtime. I do this every day. My boyfriend doesn't have a conventional job so he can go weeks or months without working. I have a stable nine-to-six job MF. So he's usually home while I'm at work. Today is the first time he is going to work since the year started. After six years'

with him, it has never been easy to talk about hard topics or my feelings. I always felt dismissed. To keep the peace I always felt I had to play the part he expected I can admit I am a bit of a people's pleaser and I do love very hard. I always gave him the benefit of the doubt and hoped for things to get better. At this point, I have isolated myself from my friends and family and I don't even recognize myself anymore. I want to be a wife and mother more than anything, but I am afraid the way we are going is not leading there. I feel like my boyfriend is okay with just being boyfriend and girlfriend. I have given everything I can, helping with the kids, doing all the cooking and cleaning, and prioritizing him by giving him all of my free time.

He gets sensitive when I try to make plans that don't involve him and usually it leads to big fights until he gilts me to the point that I just gave up on a social life. As I get closer to my 40s, I am freaking out. Time is of the essence. and I don't want to wake up in my 40s with regret. There is so much to say about the dynamic but long story short, I feel like the only way things will change as if there is a big change. We are both equally comfortable in this routine. I know I am not living life the way I truly want.

I have tried to bring up ways to change the dynamic, but it usually leads to him telling me things that sound nice, but it never happens. He's all talk and no action. When I try to act on the things we talk about, it leads to huge blow-up fights. I do love him so much, but I just can't live life like this. My sister is moving so there is an opportunity to take over her lease. My plan is to leave before he gets home from work, and to write a letter explaining myself.

I don't want to break up, but I need him to start taking me and this relationship serious. I want us to be intentional and actually do the things we talk about. I wish I could talk to him instead of doing things this way, but I am a first of afraid of a big fight happening. So, Ida for secretly moving out while he's at work? Update 1, March 22nd, 2025. I am overwhelmed with how much responses the original post got. I was mixed with emotions after reading it all. I ultimately needed time to process before writing it on Reddit. So I took most of the advice and I decided to wait for him to get home to talk instead of leaving a letter and leaving while he was at work. Before I get into the up,

I want to address a lot of people's concerns on there being a possible DV situation and toxic relationship, you are all right. Update, I decided to pack up my car with all of my important items. I cleaned the house, cooked, showered, wrote out all my thoughts on what I wanted to say, because I tend to lose track of my thoughts when I'm in high tense conflicts. I wanted to make sure he understood why I felt the need to move out after six years. He got home around 8.30 to 9 p.m. and I asked if he could join me on the couch to talk. He immediately starting to get anxious asking to hurry up and get to the point. I started to read the letter and I couldn't help but cry as I read, when I got to the part one have decided it is best for me to move out, but if you want to work on

our relationship, I am open to it, he snapped. He snatched the letter out of my hand and ripped it up, he spat in my face and called me trash. At this point I was trying to get my dogs and leave the house. He grabbed me by my hair and started hitting me. I tried my best to defend myself. I was screaming for help hoping the neighbors would hear me, but no one came to my rescue. I eventually lost the strength to fight back and just laid there on the floor hoping he would get tired and stop kicking and punching me. My dogs were hysterical. My youngest dog tried to bite him and protect me, but all it did was get him more upset.

I used my body to shield my dog from getting hit. By the time he stopped and I looked at the time it was midnight. He had locked himself in the room and I could hear him crying and screaming for me to please forgive him. I didn't have the strength for anything. I sat in my blood and tears, numb and dead inside. I still can't believe what happened and I am so disappointed in myself for letting the relationship last as long as it did. There were times he showed aggression but he always found a way to convince me it will never happen again. When I thought he finally went to sleep, around 3 a.m., I took my dogs and left.

I went to my sister's apartment about 40 minutes away. Luckily, she was staying at her boyfriend's house, so I was alone. I still have not found the strength to tell anyone what happened. I called out of work and stood inside the apartment while my wounds healed. It's been about two weeks and I am now seeking professional help and am planning on taking myself to the doctors to get checked out. I know I need to tell someone what happened but I am feeling so embarrassed. Thank you all for the kind words and for the ones who advise to talk to him fuck you.

I hope anyone dealing with similar relationship can learn from me follow or gut and don't let outside opinions doubt your gut. Edit, I have videos and pictures of the injuries. I know I have to go to the police, but honestly I'm in this psychological warfare. He has two kids and I feel like I'm responsible if their dad goes to jail. This is something I know I need to overcome and that's why I'm taking the necessary steps to mentally prepare myself by seeking professional help. If anyone has any recommendations on how to go about this, I would really appreciate it. This all feels like a nightmare that I just want to be over.

I haven't told any loved ones yet because it will just make everything more real. Update 2, March 23, 2025. Hi everyone, please keep reading. Something insane happened last night. I just wanted to start by saying, I am so grateful for all of the support during this. After reading everyone's comments, and yes, I may not respond to every comment, but I do take time to read everything coming in, because Reddit and you all here are the only people I have told about this and it's helping me put everything that has happened in perspective. I have been doing more and more research on DV, before this relationship I have luckily

never experienced a toxic relationship. All of my past relationship have always ended amicably with love and respect. I never had to deal with any boyfriend screaming at me, intense jealousy, etc., so it was very hard for me to even notice what I was in. My ex was very good at talking, we always used to joke that he should have become a lawyer because of how convincing he knows he can be. I am in a place where I am facing everything head on now, instead of hiding in my sister's apartment, hiding from the world. I can admit, I am a survivor. What happened was not my fault, and I want to apologize for how I came across blaming the Redditors for bad advice. The emotions I am feeling now is rage. I was trying to find someone to blame for what happened to me. And the only person to

blame is the fucking psychopath loser X of mine. I decided I am going to the police today. I was feeling bad for him which I found out is called Stockholm Syndrome. His kids are 14 and 16 and I was worried that I would be the reason they wouldn't have a father around. Taking everyone's concerns for the kids into I knew it was my responsibility to protect them from this happening to them. I called the kid's mother last night to tell her everything that happened. Just to give as much context before going into the update, the mother and I's relationships started out bad. She did not like me or respect me.

She did not agree with the big age gap and always made it a point to say I was the young Bimbo trying to take the father's money, even though I have always worked and paid for everything I have. I have never asked for him to ever financially take care of me. Over the six years we have become more friendly. She eventually stopped bad-mouthing me to her kids and everyone else in the family. But I always felt the need to prove myself to all of his family and friends. So, I called the mother to let her know what happened and that I was planning on going to the police.

I even sent her pictures and videos of my black eyes, cuts, and bruises and bald spot from hair being pulled out. What happened next, literally changed everything for me. I went from being sad and depressed to no feeling nothing but anger. I am shaking while I write this because I'm still in shock. She responded with Well I knew this would eventually happen, because it happened to her. She went on to tell me the reason they got divorced was because he was beating her in front of her kids, and after ten years of marriage she finally got a lawyer and divorced him. She had multiple restraining orders that he did not follow.

He got arrested two to three times, but never convicted of anything because she dropped charges not wanting her kids to be without a father. I am furious. She was undocumented and her marriage was going to help her become a citizen. She ultimately got her citizenship from the process of VAWA through marriage to an abusive legal permanent. I am in so much anger because no one told me or warned me. I feel this could have been avoided if someone would have tried to warn me.

So now, no more nice guy. Fuck. This guys is going to jail. I will be making sure he never does this anyone again. I will keep you guys updated on the charges, etc. Thank you all for the support once again. Update 3, March 23, 2025. When I made the original post, I had no idea it would lead to DV. I hope by me sharing it could help someone who is in a similar situation. I would like to think this a community of kindness and open-minded to each one's struggles. I know I struggle with putting into words how I feel and what's going on, especially in difficult conflicts. I might not choosing the right words or expressing myself correctly, but I am human, having a human experience. I'm doing my best. What's funny is now I find myself explaining myself to people who are committed to misunderstanding me. Thank you to everyone who was kind and supportive. It is because of you guys,

I found the strength to go to the police. I was going through so many emotions after finding out last night. My ex's wife had been through the same thing. She never once warned me. I'm not trying to blame anyone for the situation. The only person to blame is the loser ex of mine. His ex-wife was undocumented and she stood married for 10 years while getting abused to stay in the country with her kids.

She ended up going through VAWA through marriage to an abusive legal permanent. I wish she would have tried to warn me somehow, but I don't blame her. I'm just feeling so many emotions after this situation. Now I'm dealing with anger. So to conclude, it's probably best for my mental health to stay off Reddit and focus on reality. I have gone to the police, I will be seeing a therapist slash psychiatrist tomorrow and putting in all the work to heal myself inside and out. I hope my story can shed light on the complexity of DV. And once again, thank you to all who was kind and supportive less than three edit.

This was a response to a comment that I thought would give more context on the ex-wife. I'm trying my best to not be emotional in my responses, and it's way too much writing to do if I sat here trying to explain everything that happened in the last six years but his ex was horrible to me when we first started dating. And I struggled with understanding why. I used to hear them arguing for hours on a daily basis when things started to get serious and I'm and I tried to reach out to her woman to woman so we could have a formal meeting since I would be living in a house her kids would be at, part-time. She declined all of my outreach. In the first year, I used to take the kids shopping to get her Mother's Day gift, Christmas gifts, and even a birthday gift. I was trying so hard to get accepted by his family, including ex-wife. I wanted there to be

a peaceful, loving relationship with all of us. I hate conflict try to avoid it at all costs. She would bad mouth me call me young Bimbo who's trying to take all of the father's money when I never asked him for financial support. I always worked and had my own things going for myself. So to find out what she went through slash I was shocked. There were even times she tried to get back with him and he would show me the messages. After a few years she saw I was sticking around and slowly stopped all the hate and we began to be more friendly.

She had so many opportunities to share what happened and why they got divorced, but she didn't. There were no signs the only signs were just weird inconsistent stories. Looking back I can see I was naive and I should have never involved myself in this weird family dynamic. Next story, B. F. told another girl at a party that I was just his roommate and said he was single, then flirted with her right in front of me. When I confronted him, he cried and said he just wanted to feel wanted for once. I 21F and my boyfriend 23M. Our first year anniversary is in two weeks. We went out last night to a birthday party of our mutual friends. He got pretty tipsy but not wasted. I didn't drink since I was driving us home. At some point in

the night I went to go get water and when I came back, there was a crush of people in the room so I was standing directly behind him, trying to get through. He was talking to some girl and I heard her ask, so is that girl you came in with your girlfriend? And he distinctly said after some hesitation, no, She's just my roommate, ha. I got really pissed off but didn't say anything, just came up to stand next to him. I didn't want to make a scene at my friend's birthday party, but he was going to get an earful when we left.

He didn't even notice me for a few seconds and said something like, You're so pretty, to the other girl. She noticed me glaring at him and left. I was so pissed off at him that I just decided to walk away and talk to my friends the rest of the night. probably a mistake of not addressing it right there at the time but I wanted to avoid a big scene if I could. I tried to enjoy myself. My friend, the host of the party, came up to me and asked me if my boyfriend and I had broken up and she didn't know, because she had heard him

telling somebody that he was single. After that, I just decided to go home. I was really mad. He could find a ride or crash at our friend's place. She said it would be okay because tons of people were crashing in the living room already. I went home without saying a word to him. This morning I woke up to all of these texts and calls from him really pissed that I ditched him at the party without a ride or without warning. He demanded to know in an accusing voice where I had disappeared off too, as if I was the one up to some shady shit. I'm just angry and confused because this is coming out of nowhere for me. We have a great relationship and have never had a fight. He tells me all the time that he's so happy we're together and that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and that he wants to be

with me forever. And now pretending I'm not his girlfriend? Claiming he's single? Flirting with other girls right in front of me? He has never done anything like that before and hasn't even looked at other girls. I don't drink, so is this just dumb drunken behavior that I should excuse? Should I give him a chance to explain himself or just end things now? I'm so pissed off and feel so disrespected. I can't even think of what reason he could give that would somehow make what he did okay in my eyes. But I'm willing to listen to anyone's perspective or other angles on the situation. Update 1, I texted him, you made it clear last night that you are single. I don't wait around for ex-boyfriends to give them rides home. Don't bother coming back here as suggested. He immediately

tried to call me and I didn't pick up. Then he texted, WTF, are you talking? talking about? How could he not know? My friend, the host, even just texted me and told him she'd given him an earful all morning when he woke up for being such a dickbag to me. He denied everything and said he has no idea what she's talking about. They got into a fight about it because he stuck to his guns and claims he never said any of that stuff. I have a feeling he's going to pretend he doesn't remember or blacked out as a way to get out of this. He said he's getting a ride back to my place now. I'm considering not answering the door, but what if he really doesn't remember? I kind of don't care, though. Skeptical he's coming here now, what do I do?

Update 2, he's almost here. My friend told me to talk to him just to hear the complete load of shit he's going to unleash on you. Dump him, girl, I would and she's known him for longer than she's known me. I'm not going to answer the door. Thanks, all. Update 3. I know most of you will be disappointed to hear this, but I decided to give him another chance, just kidding. I only kid because I'm still bawling my eyes out. I did decide to answer the door and hear what he had to say, if only to try to understand his reasons behind it, not as a way to forgive him, but to fully understand why. At first he denied it and said that none of it ever happened, and that my friend was lying to me because she was jealous of us and had always wanted him.

She has a boyfriend of three years. He said he had no idea what she was talking about or why I was so mad at him. I just said, I heard you say it too, he said, say what? But then he just saw the look on my face and crumbled. He said that prior to us dating, he had never gotten attention from girls before and it went to his head when it happened last night. He said that he'd always felt in disbelief because he believed I was out of his league and it was pure fluke that I'd ever been interested in. in him. Apparently girls never approached him before we were dating, ever, so when it happened at the party he didn't know how to react. He said he enjoyed the attention for once in his life

and just went with it. According to him, he wasn't planning on doing anything but just impulsively said whatever to keep the attention coming. He swears up and down that he just enjoyed the ego boost that came from girls being interested in him, but he would never ever cheat on me. in his mind he thought it was harmless because he knew he would never let it go further than feeding his ego and that if he'd known that I would hear, he never would have done it and risked hurting me. At this point I started to cry, because to me it was such a stupid reason to throw away what we had. I know some of you will say that I should forgive him, got a lot of PMs and comments saying it was just a dumb mistake and I say dumb shit I don't mean when I'm drunk too, but I just can't.

He broke my trust in him and, honestly, he heard him. my pride. I want a guy who can handle when some other girl shows interest in him with maturity and respect. A guy who loves me so much that he would never dream of leading a girl on for attention because I feel like my attention should be enough. Someone who's proud to point at me and say sorry, I'm taken and she's a great girl with no regrets. I told him that I thought it was a really stupid reason to damage our relationship, being insecure and an attention whore, and I guess it must have sunk in that I was planning to leave him. He broke down crying too and begged me to please try to forgive him because it was a stupid

drunken mistake. It was so hard to stay strong, but I was very angry with him. I cried so hard because he started telling me he loved me more than anyone and he was just stupid, drunk, and inexperienced and he wished he could take it all back because it wasn't worth losing me. I said I was glad he realized his mistake, but if he really loved me more than anyone then he really needed a better way to show it than pretending I don't exist to other pretty girls. He got hysterical and just started saying, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't lose you. Please forgive me.

I told him that I thought his actions last night were honestly pathetic and disgusting and they changed my view of him. I told him it was sad that he would throw himself after a girl and lied just to get a few minutes of attention and that I didn't think it was a good excuse to say that never happened to me before, so I didn't know how to handle or I was just innocently enjoying the attention. What would happen next time? How could I trust him to act appropriately and control himself? He said that he'd learn from this and he'd do better next time, but honestly, I just couldn't get over it. He made me feel worthless as his girlfriend and something he had to hide to get the attention of other women because my attention wasn't adequate. I know that isn't necessarily

true, but that's just how he made me feel. I also told him he lowered him. He lowered it. He lowered himself in my eyes and I didn't respect him anymore. So I told him to get out and not talk to me anymore. I'm leaving a box of his stuff on the porch so he can get it without talking to me. Then I laid my couch and cried with my dog until I felt sick. It shouldn't feel this shitty because I'm still really mad at him. But we had an amazing year together and it sucks that something so small and stupid could cause him to jeopardize that. I don't want to be with a guy who values our relationship so little. I feel better today.

It sucks not being in a relationship anymore, but I feel like I deserve better. He's been blowing up my phone saying he's been at home crying and he loves me so much. I'm just waiting for him to pick up his stuff so I can block his number. My best friend also just broke up with his girlfriend of two years. So we're planning a road trip together to take our mind off things.

I wasn't able to go before because I didn't want to make my boyfriend uncomfortable, go figure. But this weekend I'm going to go hang out with my bestie and swim at the beach and forget things. Thanks for the support, Reddit. You help me stay clear-headed. I have a lot of hate and bitterness in my heart right now, but I'm hoping that will pass.