Reddit Stories - BETRAYED_ UNCOVERING the Shocking Truth About My Partner's Secret FINANCIAL Support for Three Hidden Children_

Episode Date: June 13, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #secrets #betrayal #family #financeSummary: A shocking revelation uncovers secret financial support for three hidden children, leading to feelings of betrayal and deception in a relationship. The truth about the partner's hidden actions leaves the protagonist questioning trust and loyalty.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, secrets, betrayal, family, finance, hiddenchildren, deception, trust, loyalty, shockingtruth, uncovering, partner, financialsupport, revelation, feelingsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

My partner was responsible for $50,000 in financial assistance for three undisclosed offspring he did not inform me of, so I ended our commitment, and within a month, he wedded a stranger. Just met. Okay, so first thing I want to say is that I love my fiancé. He's a great guy. Whip smart, kind, funny. A year and a half ago I would never imagined I'd be at this point. We've been dating for five years, ever since we met.

He works at a call center and I'm a postal worker. We make a moderate income and the wedding is tentatively in April. Small, courthouse wedding with a tasteful reception afterwards, I apologize in advance for the legal gobbly goop. He hasn't really kept me in the loop, and I'm a male carrier, not a lawyer. I don't have a head for this. One year into our relationship he got a notice for paternity from the state he used to live in, for a three-year-old boy.

So clearly this happened way before I met him. He thought it was ridiculous, but took the ordered DNA test. Turns out, he is the father. Insert Mori audience cat calling here. The mother was apparently mentally unwell, and it turned out the boy was in custody of the grandparents. They offered to adopt the boy if my fiancé gave up all his paternal rights. He jumped at the offer, they pulled some strings, I've heard it's supposed to be hard, but we literally flew down to his old state on the date they told him to.

Signed some papers in front of a judge, and that was that, I was personally. Ambivalent about the thing. It seemed like he just gave up all rights to his son without a care. But in the end, it's his business, not mine. I told myself I would be supportive stepmother if the boy ever came to him for help slash answers when he was older. There was some messy legal business about A Rears' child support, because the mother apparently was on welfare for years, and the state wants repayment from fiancé. I don't know much about

it, because he refuses to share. Only that it's around 20K for three years. Damn. A couple years go by, I take fiancé to the DMV to renew his license because its way expired and he won't do it. Lo and behold, it's suspended. Why? Past due child support judgment for another child. A 12-year-old girl. $30,000. Fiancé is literally sick. And I mean he threw up all night, worse, in order to get his license suspended he had to contact child support department in his old state

and give them all his current contact info, where he works, where he lives. Soon enough, a notice comes through HR. He's going to be garnished 25% of his after-tax pay because of the child support judgment. Reddit, he just shut down after that. that, stonewalls any conversation regarding the issue at all. I took up more of the bills, but now we're both struggling. We have had to move into a smaller, crappier apartment using my credit alone because his has a big fat judgment on it. He had to refinance his almost paid off car because he couldn't afford the high payments. There's some kind of hearing coming up.

I don't know what it's about because he flatly refuses to tell me. I think maybe it's to adjust the payments based on his current income, which has grown due a promotion. Either way, he hasn't bought plain tickets. Or rather, hasn't asked me for the money because he can't afford them. I think he's not going. It'll be an automatic judgment against him. Here's the thing, he could request a DNA test for the girl. He hasn't, though he's told me he's certain he's not the father. He could hire an attorney, I've offered to front the cost, but he has a thousand excuses. He'd have to get one in his other state. They'd gouge him because he wasn't there.

He doesn't have the time. Excuse, excuse, excuse. The hearing is in three weeks. I don't know what's going on and he's so passive about it that I'm worried. So, I opened up an official looking notice he received a few months back, but never bothered to open. There's a third child. This one is a brother of the girl.

the hearing is actually about him? God damn it. I just don't know. He has actually left the house for a long walk when I questioned him a few weeks back. I am not a nagging person. Asking him to deal with his bullshit is uncomfortable for me, too. If I have to confront him with an ultimatum, we've reached the point of no return. But I'm almost there. So here's the deal. I love my fiancé. He's 50k, for the the first boy and girl, in debt that will haunt him for the foreseeable future. He won't do anything about it, just sticks his head in the sand and hopes it goes away. Maybe he's depressed. He acts normal, as if none of this is happening. There might be more on the way, with the third child. If I stay with him, I'll never be able to buy a house. I will have to make all major purchases on my credit

alone. We can never combine income. He has abandoned three children. I don't know the full stories of the relationship between him and the mothers, other than it was painful and full of lies. One is his biological child for sure. The other two are a question, but they may as well be in the eyes of the state. He doesn't care about them, other than the bi-weekly garnishment on his paycheck. As far as I understand, he's never asked about them once. I had a pregnancy scare last month.

Well, actually I found out I had been pregnant via miscarriage. No condolences needed, please, I didn't tell him. It's done. But the first thought in my head after I realized. Ah, what came out was my child would have been fourth in line for any support if things went south. Who says he wouldn't abandon me, too? We do plan on having children eventually. My heart loves this guy.

My head says I'll be throwing away my financial future if I stick with him. What does Reddit say? Update 1. The basic gist was my fiancé had stuck his head in the sand and was ignoring child support notices and hearings to the tune of 50K, for children conceived way before our relationship started. After the second surprise child, he had completely shut me out on the subject. I opened up some of his forgotten mail and saw there was a notice for a third child. To recap, Baby 1, 3-year-old boy, he was able to give up his paternal rights in favor of the

mother's grandparents because the mother had mental health issues. 20K child support and arrears. Baby 2, 12-year-old girl. 30K ongoing child support. I don't know the story behind this one, and he isn't talking. Baby 3, brother of 12-year-old girl. The birthday was on the paperwork, but he took that letter with him. Thank you for all of the comments, PMs, and valuable feedback from my other post.

The ones that told me I, too, was sticking my head in the sand really put it in place with me. As did the ones who gave professional insight that it was simply not possible for him to have been completely blindsided with all three children. So I was in a mood when he got home tonight. I showed my fiancé, who I'm now calling Johnny Appleseed. Thanks to a previous commenter, the letter I opened about, about the third child. Luckily, he didn't get all huffy about me opening his mail because I was not in the mood. Johnny's face just fell and he said it was impossible for him to be

the father of the third child. He didn't know about it, not having opened his child support mail over the last few months, that the mother of the 12-year-old had one child support judgment against him for the girl, and now was clearly looking for more. I told him I thought that was BS and I wanted the truth now, that I'd been looking through his old state's law and the court can't have ruled him the father of the 12-year-old without evidence. He pulled his usual stonewall stuff, said it didn't matter, because there was a judgment against him he was screwed for life. He actually started to cry.

I kept on him. Finally he told me the truth. He and the baby mama were in love since they were teenagers, but it was an on-and-off relationship. She was drama. She got pregnant and he was there for her, but right before the baby was born she told him, wasn't the father. He was stubborn and proud, and still signed the birth certificate. But

he left her soon after at her request, and didn't have any contact. Why didn't he get a DNA test? It was expensive and his heart was broken. By the end of this, he was crying. I started crying too, and I told him I can't marry him right now with all this going on. Ohm. Did he go instantly from sorrowful to pissed? He kept asking me how I could do this, that I knew about the child support going in, that he'd always been honest with me. Um, no, he'd said nothing, or insinuated she'd put his name on the birth certificate, not the same as honesty, that he knew baby mama was trying yet again to ruin his life. The judgment was already in, there was nothing he could do because the courts always ruled

in favor of the mother. There was no point in trying. This was all her fault for trying to ruin in his life, and by taking her side over him I was letting her. Read it, I'd like to say I threw in some good zingers. The fact is, when things get heated my brain stalls out. I said some things about how he was handling the situation, keeping me locked out of what was going on with the upcoming hearing. That if this kept blowing this off he could go to jail, but my delivery sounded kind of lame even to me.

It's never like how I practice in my head or can type out here, you know? Then he started asking me if this was about a male co-worker I had once given a ride home, like three months ago. If I had an affair with him? WTF? No. I took off the ring, his grandmothers, and told him to take it. That he needed to move out tonight, stay with someone else, and give me some space.

The wedding was off, and I needed a few days to consider the rest of the relationship. He kept asking me why, like he couldn't believe I was breaking up. off the wedding because of a little old thing like 50k in debt, three surprise children, and a complete shutdown of the subject. Then he called me shallow, that money means more to me than love. It went on, but I'm already sick of reliving this. He does swear there is no possibility of any more surprised children. Period, he packed a duffel full of clothes and left, having convinced himself that I was either cheating on him or shallow and money hungry. So I spent the evening re-reading comments, I've done the right thing, right?

And browsing for rents sites. The lease is in my name only because of the judgments on his credit report. Uck. This is what I've become, lying to landlords because of my deadbeat fiancé. He probably has some sort of resident rights anyway. Me. At least he's out of the apartment for now. I texted him a long message an hour ago, Johnny, before we join our lives together,

I need to know you can handle your responsibilities like an adult. Go to the hearing. I will help you with a lawyer, with a plane ticket. Whatever. If you treat me like a partner, maybe we can rebuild our relationship. I love you. He hasn't answered. I hope he listens to reason once he cools down.

He has so many good qualities. I had to share the very worst in my post to you all. He would be an excellent father if he wanted visitation. and I am willing to put in the work to sort this out and move forward with these kids if he is. He's convinced himself he's screwed for life, and I think it's paralyzed him. It's a terrifying place to be. I know. Basically everyone wanted me to kick him to the curb,

but I'm hoping this break is enough of a come-to-Jesus moment for him to prove he's not a deadbeat. Basically, if he wants to fight for this relationship, he has to go to the hearing and handle his business. Get on a payment plan and keep on it. Then relationship counseling. Lots and lots of relationship counseling. Then, we'll see. I still may break up permanently, but at least he'll have sorted out a thing or two.

Maybe I'm just holding on to hope. So that's it. I really wish I had thought of something awesome to say during the argument, but life isn't a movie. Ball's in his court. Let's see if he man's up or not. Anyone been through anything like this before? I did blindside him a little because I, too, had been way too passive in letting this slide. How do I help him help himself?

Edit, he hasn't answered the text with the offer to help. I've called the landlord and requested a new lock for the door. He's not on the lease and it's probably not legal, but as someone pointed out, and I agree, he's adverse to going to court. Responses have been. Passionate. I don't think I was clear. We're essentially done, I returned his grandmother's ring told him to give me space.

If he accepts help and steps up to his obligations to his children with no back-siding, only then will I consider taking him back. Not for immediate marriage, JFC, I'm not insane. Not to get pregnant, as some lovely commentator suggested. But considering it's mourning and he still hasn't answered the text, it probably doesn't matter. That's where OP has replied Pretty Dirt Murder, he would be an excellent father if he wanted visitation what? He would be a doctor if he graduated medical school.

He would be a millionaire if he won the powerball. If he had wings, he'd be a bird. What he is, is a total failure as a father, times three. He participated in the creation of three little ones, abandoned them emotionally and financially, and now complains that they are a burden. Three children growing up fatherless, which will color their lives forever,

because of him. This is the depth of compassion and empathy that he is capable of. This is how he treats the truly powerless and dependent. Even though he has every legal and moral obligation to support them, because there's nothing in it for him. His maybe they're not mine excuse is a total load, because if he had an iota of humanity in him, he'd care enough to find out. Goop. What? He would be a doctor if he graduated medical school. He would be a doctor. He would be a a millionaire if he won the powerball. If he had wings, he'd be a bird. Okay, this did make me laugh. You have a point. Megatrain, I'm not a lawyer. Not attending a hearing is absolutely the worst thing he can do. The judgment will go against him, the 50k he owes becomes 70k or more,

and it becomes much more difficult to reverse after the fact. But not impossible. I say that not to give him an excuse to miss the upcoming hearing, but to give him hope that he might be able to have the earlier judgment reversed. He needs an experienced family lawyer in that state to handle the current hearing, and to come up with a plan regarding the existing judgments. So I'm not overselling it. He may or may not be able to realistically contest the prior judgments, depending on state law regarding paternity and statutes of limitations. Only an attorney in that state can assess his chances. Will this be cheap? Maybe not. Maybe not. but certainly less than letting the existing judgment stand, while adding even more.

With regard to relationship advice, I think you're doing the right thing. Either he'll step up and get this taken care of, maybe even get mistakes of the past fixed, or you probably don't want to be with him anyway. Boop. I don't know how bad this is. If he takes my offer for help and steps up, I still may not take him back. The fact of it is, I don't know how bad the situation is, really. He may have warrants out for his arrest. But for my peace of mind, I have to extend the offer to help with at least the hearing.

You can't stop someone from destroying their life if they're hell-bent on it, and I don't intend to be dragged down with him. But offering to get a lawyer or a single plane ticket, it's not too much. Update 2, I don't even know where to start. After I called off the wedding and returned his grandmother's engagement ring, he packed a duffle full of his clothes and left. It's been about a month, and I haven't heard a peep from him. I changed the locks on the apartment, but he hasn't been back for his stuff anyway. He blocked me on Facebook and when I gave in and tried to give him a call a week later, he changed his phone number two. I heard he was staying at his best bro's house, courtesy of bro's girlfriend. Trust me, I went through all the stages

of grief, denial, anger, acceptance, etc., and I finally accepted he wasn't coming back. I thought maybe he'd gone back to his home state to be with one of the baby mamas, but his car was parked in the parking lot at his work. I may have. Drove passed once or twice, the hearing was scheduled for early this week. Finally, tonight, I plucked up my courage and went to the best bro's house to confront him. The least he could do is get his crap out of my apartment, right? I grabbed up his many, many unopened child support notices, and a picture of boy number one he

left on his dresser. It's the only picture of the three kids that he has, and he left it behind. Best Bro answered the door, and what followed was just about the most awkward conversation ever. I can't remember the conversation verbatim but I asked where ex-fiancee was, and Best Bro said he wasn't there. He was being all evasive, so I asked if he went to the hearing or not. Best Bro looked confused. What hearing? I told him the child support hearing for his three kids. Best Bro looked super confused, like I was crazy. Then he asked if I was seeing anyone else, other than ex-fiancee. Of course I wasn't. I gave Best Bro a very abbreviated version, kicked ex-fiance out BC he was ignoring his child's support from his baby mamas. He had a hearing

earlier this week. I was getting loud because I'd been bottling this up and Best Bro's girlfriend came out to see what was going on. She's the one who told me, her exact words, your man lost his damn mind. The weekend after I kicked him out, he went out to a bar with Best Bro for some good old girl bashing. He met up with some 22-year-old bartender, and hooked up. Read it, he married her last weekend. Drove up to Reno, were a couple hours from the Nevada border, and did the whole Chapel of Love thing. Best Bro and his girlfriend were the witnesses. They hadn't really supported his decision, but he had them convinced I was a cheating whore. and he was so heartbroken.

Plus, Best Bro's girlfriend implied later that he'd overstayed his welcome by crashing at their house for most of a month. I was shocked and pissed and wanted to cry because I sort of got the vibe that Best Bros still didn't believe I wasn't cheating. So I grabbed the court documents from my car and gave them to him to pass along to my ex. I doubt they'll open them up, but the fact there from his old state county's child support division should be good evidence. I don't know why I should care about their opinion.

Neither one of them called me during this. I thought I was their friend, too. But they believed him. Now I'm back home, surrounded by his crap, and trying to sort out my feelings. I feel like. I've just watched someone blow through all the bridges out warning signs and drive off a cliff. I told my ex I'd help him get a lawyer for the hearing, help him with the plane ticket. Instead of taking care of his business, he went and married some chick he'd known for.

Like two and a half weeks at most? I think. I'm not in the mood to drag out a calendar. Let's be generous and call it three weeks. I should feel bad for the girl, his new wife what the fuck, for what she's just gotten into, but she must either be a real piece of work herself or just an idiot. Who marries someone they've known for that short of time? and I know someone out there is thinking,

You are an idiot. He had to have known her for longer. He was cheating before this. Well, I'm certain he wasn't. He's a home buddy by nature. There was never any missing time in our relationship, and Best Bro was pretty clear they'd met at the bar that night, so basically, instead of going to his child support hearing,

he was moving in with his new wifie, and probably doing what newly married people do. I hope they're happy together. together. Ah ha ha. Of course I don't. He might have a contempt of court worn out for him for skipping the hearing, so I doubt he'll sue me if I toss it all, but I do want to cover my butt.

I know I need to ask a question, so here it is. What in the world was he thinking? Out of all the options he had to him, he picked the very worst. What was she thinking? I love, loved, the man, but even I can admit he's not classically good-looking. He had nothing to offer but a low-paying job and being practically homeless. And finally, what is wrong with me that I feel terrible he's found some new way to fuck up his life?