Reddit Stories - BETRAYED UNCOVERING The Shocking Truth Behind My BROTHER-IN-LAW'S Secret Act Of Betrayal

Episode Date: June 22, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #betrayal #secretsrevealed #familyrelationships #dramauncoveredSummary: A gripping tale of betrayal unfolds as a person uncovers shocking secrets about their brother-in-law. The story delves into family dynamics, trust issues, and the consequences of deceit, leaving readers on the edge of their seats.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familydrama, betrayal, secretsrevealed, familyrelationships, dramauncovered, uncoveringsecrets, shockingtruth, brotherinlaw, trustissues, deceit, familydynamics, uncoveringbetrayal, familysecrets, dramaticrevelation, siblingdramaBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling in-law urinated on my possessions for several months. When I discovered the reason behind it, it revealed a chilling family background of a female dog that ruined my relationship. Myself, a 29-year-old woman, and my spouse, Ted, a 34-year-old man. And I have been together for 10 years. We met early in college and dated all throughout. I graduated before him and took a semester for training.

traveling while he finished so we could move to another state, he ended up having to repeat some classes so when I came back we couldn't move yet and I had no place of my own. So I moved in with him and his roommate slash brother Ash, 32M, while Ted finished school. Before moving in I made sure that Ted cleared it with Ash that I was bringing my male cat with me. They had a dog who was old but Ash said he was fine with it. About three weeks after moving and I started noticing that our bedroom started to smell a lot like pee and we couldn't figure out where it was coming from. My cat is toilet train so I knew it wasn't him, and the dog couldn't go into our room because it was on the second floor and he had hip problems. I started finding clothes on the floor

smelling like pee. I asked Ted and he said he had no idea. After three months of frustration and this happening about two X week I asked Dash if he was bringing the dog upstairs, he said no. At this point I'm fed up, I stopped leaving clothes anywhere, but I was still finding pee in my shoes, my throw pillows, things like that. After breaking down one day Ash suggested it was my cat marking his territory as male cats are known for doing that. He said it made sense as it was only on my things and it was a new place. If any of y'all have cats you know that cat pee smells different than human pee. I trust my cat with my whole heart, so I set up a camera in our room, I was paying rent, boyfriend knew about it so I figured this was the way to find out where the

pee was coming from. Lo and behold, Ash was coming into our room and peeing on my stuff. When I saw the video I packed my things and cat, and went to stay with a friend until Ted finished college and we moved. When all of this happened, I refused to confront him because E.W. and Ted dealt with that. I haven't really spoken to Ash since. He was a best man at the wedding, but we tend to keep clear of each other at family gatherings and such. With the pandemic, Ash lost his job and apartment and is honestly struggling financially. He asked if he could move in with us and I honestly

don't want to because he peed on my stuff. He was 25 years old when it happened. He was a grown ass man. Now their whole family is calling and texting telling me I'm an ass for leaving him homeless in the middle of a pandemic but it wasn't their stuff getting peed on. Ida. Am I holding a grudge because he peed on my stuff? But he is losing his home, and his cat deserves a home, but it was made very clear that I cannot just take in his cat and leave him to the elements. I know I'm justified, but now Ted said that he couldn't do that to his brother and the job market is better here for his type of job.

Edit number one, who thank you all for taking the time to read my current dilemma. I'm currently at work so had to stop answering for a while, but I will get back to everyone in the morning. A few questions that have popped up a couple of times. Is he in therapy? He was last I checked, after P-gate his mom made him go. That's how we found out. Why did he do this?

Ash and Ted weren't our best friends and me coming into Ted's life was threatening enough that he wanted to break us up. Clearly it didn't work and it only made Ted go and see for a time. His therapist suggested that Ash had to make amends with his brother, according to my mill who is the one who reconnected them, and asked for forgiveness for his actions. They reconnected and as long as I didn't have to be with him and he never stepped into our home I could live with it. Why was he in the wedding? When we were getting married the party was more for our parents, we didn't mind the courthouse, but my parents wanted a big wedding because I'm the first of my sisters to get married. All of my sisters and all of Ted's brothers were bridesmaids and groomsmen and we couldn't exclude him.

Ted and Ash are best friends after all and as long as I didn't have to take pictures with P-Man himself and he didn't give a speech I didn't care. Why can't any in his family take him? We live in the East Coast. The rest of the family lives in the West Coast. After many comments I'm starting to doubt this next part, but I'll say it's still because it's the information I have. Ted's profession is much more employable in the East Coast than in the West, so him moving across would diminish his chances of finding a new job I am in the process of convincing all of the brothers, there's eight more.

To pitch in a bit so between us all he can stay there. Why do they think I'm an ass? His whole family is very, very forgive and forget, they have forgiven things that are appalling to me, car stealing, faking a college degree in keeping the money, etc. So they really think that this was just a one-time thing and he's outgrown it and I just need to get over it. Did he apologize? He apologized to Ted, but never to me which I am a bit bitter about. I was considering accepting an apology, but you guys are right and that would be self-serving of him and a way to get back into my house and potentially give me pete'sed.

I'm sorry I promise I'm not making fun, I just saw a chance and had to take it. Did he pay for the stuff he peed on? Well, since I didn't know where pee was coming from, I just kept washing the pee things. After the video I did throw out everything that I remember had been peed on that did not hold sentimental value, but there's two pairs of shoes currently in my home who have been golden showered. He did not pay for the stuff I threw out, and honestly it never occurred to me to ask him do I just cut my losses. What does your husband stand on this? Ted is the best human in the universe and he honestly puts up with enough of my shenanigans that I would legit let Pemman move in if it made Ted happy.

As soon as everything happened he was disturbed and cut him off completely but after his mom said the therapist thought it would help him to make amends they made up. Ted has never once pressed me to be with Ash or for him to come to our house. When we got married he told me it was absolutely okay if I said no to Ash being the best man but I love him enough to deal with. with him when it's necessary such as Christmas, except 2020, and big family events. Can I see the video? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but no. As pissed, he-he, as I might be at the man I do believe in privacy. When it happened I only sent it to Ted so he would believe me, because I honestly wouldn't

believe me if he told me one of my sisters was peeing in his stuff. As far as I know he has only shown it to his parents to provide proof that we weren't making things up, and two of the older brothers because Ike their guys and curious. I want to thank you for my awards. They're lovely and shiny and make me feel like I just won the Olympics. You guys are the best. I also want to say thank you for the amazing jokes and nicknames. If I lose this battle and he moves here I will be leaving him a litter box and puppy training pads in the guest room, just to rub his nose in it, he-he. You guys are the best and I promise to keep answering comments and messages as soon as I can.

Edit number two mini update so P has hit the fan and the family and my day has been awful. Some of the other brothers saw this post and all of your comments and the family didn't have the whole story and apparently neither did I brothers number three, number four and number eight are on their way here to deal with it because I'm way over my head. I'd like to give a big F you that the message is telling me that I probably had it coming, that I wanted it or that I deserved it. I hope the P-man visits you and peas on your toothbrush. Thank you for your concern and nice comments.

Thank you for the reality checks. Thank you for opening my eyes to my many faults. Things suck right now, but hopefully I'll be able to give you guys closure or at least more answers in a couple of days. Stay hydrated. Update 1 so I showed Ted the post as you guys suggested and after reading some comments Ted understood that he had done wrong by me and that even though I was okay with it it was still inappropriate of him and the whole family to be how they are. He apologized

profusely for not demanding more from himself, his family and his brother when the whole thing happened and that Ash moving in with us was absolutely not going to happen. Being an engineer too he asked some professional contacts if there were any job opportunities for Ash. One of those contacts ended up being someone who works for the same company Ash did and told Ted that Ash hadn't been fired, that he had quit, but that he was welcome to have his job back. Ted went to confront Ash about this. We live a couple hours away. While I was at work, I worked two jobs, one at night 4 to 12 p.m. and one part time during the day because I want to and it brings me joy not because my husband is lacking in any way, and found some stuff that started a chain of

events and truth unveilings that TBH just make me sad more than anything else. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm being spineless again and should be outraged, but I'm just tired right now and want to just sleep, but I've gotten enough nice and hateful messages that I figured I owed you guys closure. I'm probably going to get crap for sharing all of this, but right now I don't care. This is a resumed, yet still very long, version of everything that happened since my Dopp B stands for brother of Ted's, if I say wife hashtag X please refer to the number of brother, not that any of them have multiple wives. B number one doctor with some type of military background.

Wife, three kids. B number two surgeon, wife, two dogs and a bearded dragon B number three engineer, fiancee and dog be number four teacher researcher, wife, one kid be number five. Works in IT not sure of details. wife be number six doctor single and ready to mingle be number seven chef business man wife one kid be number eight car sales wife three kids fish be number nine ted wife and cat be number ten ash i sat down with ted to talk about everything you pointed out he apologized immensely we cried together promised to do and be better as you are now all aware his family is complicated and not rocking the boat with embedded into his heart. We both agreed to go to individual therapy, and if both therapists suggest we do couples then we do couples therapy too. He ordered a t-shirt that says the

most okayest human in the universe to cheer me up a bit. Anyway Ted calls his connections and finds out Ash didn't quit, is pissed about all the drama this is causing and goes to confront him. He goes into his place, Ash is not there, Ted has a key for emergencies, he goes in any way and and waits. He eventually has to go to the guest bathroom and it's locked, so he goes into his room to use that bathroom and found a situation was the word he used when he told me. He called me, tells me to stay home and that he would be home later because he had to involve his family and didn't want to subject me to more than he already had which had me thinking the worst, but at that point I was scared and just told him to come back soon and be safe. About two hours

later wife number eight calls me crying to ask if I'm okay I say I, Ted just told me vaguely about the situation and I haven't heard since. She asks if I want to know which I did and then she starts off by apologizing saying that they didn't know the whole story that B number five had read my post and called B number seven to complain about me sharing the story online. Apparently having your Bill P and your stuff isn't common enough that he knew it was our family by reading it slash ass. B number seven reads the story and says there's a few things about my version of events that sound off to him. He contacts B number two who contacts their mom and by this point they've all read it. I did have missed calls from B number six and B number two that I didn't answer because

I was working. Anyway, as many of you guessed the therapist part of Ash's story was sketchy, turns out that the therapist he had been going was a friend of his with zero actual training and just pretended to be his therapist so his mom would get off his back about it. He faked going to therapy, which his mom paid for, for about three years. My Mill found out and kept it secret, which she excused by saying she had forgiven other brothers for worse. All of this came to light because B number two confronted her about Ash not apologizing to me because they were under the false impression that he had apologized and I had forgiven him. Since I have a track record of being a doormat and the fact of the fact that I

fact he was best man, which is why they were pushing him to live with us. They also didn't know the territorial incident had been going on for months. They knew it was a few instances, but not as many as they actually were. Back to wife number eight, she tells me be number three, number four, and number eight were coming because Ted had asked for help which freaked me out and she tells me to talk to wife number one because she could use some support. I hang up and Ted have been calling me while I was on the phone and he just kept saying he's so sorry and that his brothers will take care of everything so I just tell him to spit it out that I just spoke with W number 8 and didn't currently have the patience to be kept in the dark and apparently

Ash has some mental issues and absolutely. Despises me and had pictures of me on his bathroom covered both in P and Mungus. He apparently also had some of B. Number One's daughter, F-14, I honestly don't know what she did to him to deserve this. Ted, disgusted and enraged with this goes into the bedroom and finds in his nightstand photo books that were supposed to be at his parents, which you can take a wild guess whose pictures were cut out and scratched off, all the comments about psychotic behavior were more accurate than I would have liked. Which he drops out of disgust when he sees our wedding photo yellow stained. He goes to pick it up and the cat is under the bed frightened and malnourished. When he coerces her out she is also covered in dried pee and mongust. At this point B number six calls him because I wasn't answering.

Ted tells him what he found and that Ash is not home and that he had to take the cat to the vet and B number six tells him to stay there until they found out where Ash is. They start calling each other, B number one is furious, threatened to kill him because of his daughter, which is the reason he wasn't one of the ones to come. Now all of the brothers know and there's a lot of feelings going around ranging from fury to concern and they don't know where Ash is. Ted calls his mom to confront her about lying and covering and reuniting them. Although she didn't know he was lying about the therapist when she reunited them.

And she cried and said that she knew be number one through number eight had tormented Ash when he was little and she had done nothing about it and failed as a mother and that she had been trying to protect him now to make up for it. I do remember when we got married my Mill was very on top of Ash and I just thought she was just being motherly. Later Ted told me he also remembers his mom asking if it was a good idea to have him as best man which we were both too naive to notice as odd as she had always pushed Ted to be present in Ash's life, which she told him in their confrontation that the more present Ted was in his life, the more stable he was. She said she never told him because she didn't want to put that kind of pressure on him, Ted, and that by the time she realized he had been lying, he seemed fine and had outgrown his issues. after hanging up on his mom is when he called me apologizing and tells me all of this. I called out of my other job because there's no way I can go to work like this.

I have a lot to think about, but I'll keep you posted. I called Ted and told him I was on my way there because someone has to take care of the cat. He said he didn't want me seeing any of that, but I'm honestly just worried about the cat and at this point I'm just numb and wanted to feel useful. About an hour into the drive I got a notification from our ring, the doorbell that records the people at your door, and it's a delivery of sunflowers which are Ted's favorite flower, he is very secure in his masculinity. Please don't make this into a thing. I tell the delivery person to read me the card, with this type of doorbell you can talk to the person at the door, and it's from Ash saying something along the lines of op, me, did me dirty by sharing our problems online. Anything that comes from it will be on her. And I just broke down, I had to pull over and just cry my heart out. I called my neighbor to please take the flowers and throw them out, and send Ted a picture, and I just drove back to go to my sister's place because I honestly don't know what to do. I am so lost and all of this is so messed up and I had a huge family before any of this happened

and I feel like I lost a lot of people who I love that I thought also thought of me as family, but not even in my sheltered version of the world can I see or justify any of all of the things. that are happening right now and I don't want to lose my husband and I'm worried about the cat and I'm scared Ashton is going to hurt himself or my husband and I called wife number one and she is so scared for her daughter and I don't want her to be scared but I don't have it in me to console her because I'm just as scared and I rationally know none of this is my fault but I am the common point between everything that's happened and I just don't know what to do. I'm okay or as okay as a person can be in this type of situation. I'm at my

parents' house and Ted is here and he brought me my cat and life sucks less with a cat on your lap. Where to start? You'll probably have a thousand questions by this point and I don't know how to answer any of them since I've just been waiting to post all of this. Maybe I won't post it at all and keep you all wondering. I will say both this situation and some of the messages I've gotten have made me lose some of my faith in humanity, but I guess that's part of what makes us human. You want to know what's the worst part out of all of this. I have legitimate petes and I don't say that in a quirky way anymore. Every time I hear someone peeing, as in the pee hitting the water, I get this sense of dread in my chest and the world just becomes a bit staticy. Going to the bathroom myself has been a

whole experience. I had my first therapy appointment though, we luckily and tragically live in a world where you can just throw money and make anything happen. Thanks Daddy for paying for an emergency shrink. That was an update of how I'm doing since some of you have asked, but I'll get to the point and the reason of why you're all here. What happened to Ash? After the flower delivery I just couldn't deal with this anymore and made my way back to my sisters. Ted immediately left and came to me. B. 6 is the one coordinating everything else. Out of all of my bill, he is my favorite and I don't care if the others see this. Most of them have been trashed to me at some point or the other clearly number 10 taking the cake. I haven't had it in me to ask what's going to happen

to Ash. I think he needs help above everything else. B, one clearly thinks differently and I guess he's trying to get the police involved since his daughter is a minor. I asked Ted to see the pictures, B. 2 said to document everything, because I thought it would help. It did not. It just raised more questions, but hey, I have a therapist now that can talk me through the them. I guess right now I don't have anything more to say, I'm sorry to have wasted your time, but I'm sure this isn't over and I'll have more to say maybe later, maybe tomorrow Ike. Well, they found Ash, B. 3, number 4 and number 8 showed up at his place and he was there this time. Apparently he hadn't noticed Ted had been there and didn't know about the shitstorm that was coming.

Punches were thrown, yelling, more punches and one appointment to the ER later Ash is currently in a psychiatric hold being evaluated for a myriad of things. Ted's mom keeps trying to get in touch, I don't know if it's to apologize or to inquire about what's happening, because in general everyone is mad at her, but I'm done with her. I think this is the worst reality check a person could ever have, but I certainly have learned a lot about people and trust in families. From the information that we have Ted's mom seems to have been right about something, Ted not being actively present in his brother's life is what brought on this madness. I guess with the pandemic and us keeping our distance it's what started his decline.

He'll have to work through that with however methods of coping they provide him because Ted has cut off about half of his family, hopefully this time forever since I really don't see either of us getting over this any time soon. Ash's cat unfortunately didn't make it, that's something that I will forever feel guilty about. At some point in the last year she developed some type of kidney problem that went untreated and while she was being abused and neglected it became too late to help her. The vet said that after everything he was hearing, because they were calling the police on B. for animal abuse and he had to kind that explained some of the situation, she was not going

to make it without suffering and he decided to put her down. Apparently the thing with B.1's daughter was about his severe bullying when they were younger, he never actually had much contact with her. It was about getting back at number one in the way he knew best. His daughter is going to be attending therapy just in case. I don't know what or how much they told her, but I assumed they had to ask her questions about her contact with Ash and eventually they would have had to explain why they were asking. I guess that's about it. I'm not leaving my husband, I'm not peeing on anybody's property, I'm going to therapy and I made very clear to absolutely everyone that I will never have any of them living with us for any reason.

I don't care if they poke is with them I just feel like I lost that part of me that cared. And I guess all in all I still did not receive that apology but TBH I don't want it either. Perhaps my therapist will convince me otherwise or perhaps it's for the best, but for now I guess I'll just I deal with it as I can. Update 2, The Sequel Hello everyone, I just wanted to start off by saying thank you for the overwhelming amount of love and support I have received from Internet strangers, all of the kind messages and in general for the concern you have shown for me and my family. I will start answering messages soon, I promise. It's just been a hard couple of days. My therapist recommended writing in order to organize my feelings and help me process what happened, and since some of you have shown interest I guess this is as good a diary as ends.

I figured a post update would be a little bit easier to read for those curious of what happened next in the Pemen Saga. It's been almost two weeks since I first opened the Pandora's box that is my husband's family and you all know how that went. I will be forever grateful to Reddit and all of you for helping me see there were things that needed to be talked about and looking into even if it did end up turning my life into AP show. I also don't know how the Twitter people ended up here, but I want to thank you all the same for the support. A lot of people ask the same questions, so here are the answers. My husband, my brothers-in-law and I, right now I don't really have it in mind to deal with any of them except number six. He has always been my favorite and in general we should have taken a cue from him and distanced from the family. He truly has been the most supportive and apologetic about the whole ordeal.

I did talk to number one and his wife to offer my help in whatever way I could and they politely declined telling me I had done enough. I don't know if they meant it backhandedly or honestly, but I'm still keeping my distance from all of them. Most of the other brothers apologized for everything. Some owned to their parts in this messed up situation, and some owned up to their past behaviors. I think this whole family is going to be financing the psychology field for a while. I did recommend that everyone should go to therapy because as much as I was the one who started at this is something that affects the family as a whole. My mother-in-law, some kind redditors pointed out that she had probably been manipulated slash abused her whole life and

I'm not denying or agreeing with that, but know that she did have a complicated life. We are no contact with her from here on out until the end of time since she called to berate us for breaking up her family. Her words were something along the lines of I have worked for years in order to have the lot of you together. I have forgiven every single thing. I have forgiven every single thing each of you has ever done, talking to my husband, and this is how you repay me by letting a little bitch get in the way of our family, so there's that. Ted, my husband, he's handling everything as best as he can. He is also in therapy and working through his feelings. He keeps apologizing over and over and in general I think seeing what his best bud did to me because of him

will haunt him for a while. We read all of your comments together and as much as he appreciates his redemption he says he doesn't feel he's earned it, that he has years to make up for. He also told me he understood if I wanted to divorce him, that he couldn't live knowing his family had done this to his wife, I politely declined as I still love him very much and know that this is not his fault. We'll see how therapy goes for him. Where is Ash right now? He is still in psychiatric hold, he did ask to see Ted. That was a big no-no and of course Ted declined. He did write him a letter, though, I don't know what it says nor do I want to know, but Ted assured me that I would never have to see him again. After it is considered safe, he will be transferred

to the West Coast where the rest of his family can deal with him. We have washed our hands off him forever. Number three is the one who has been in charge of his care and he thinks moving him far away from us is what's best for everyone. Ted and him have been talking about the doctor's reports, but I haven't wanted to ask and that's okay. Taking a break, as many of you suggested we took a break, I quit one of my jobs and have been doing the other one for my dad's beach condo. Ted is using some of his vacation time and his boss has been very understanding. It is the middle of January so it's not particularly nice outside but looking at the water is soothing and being away from all of the crazy is nice. I got a new phone so his family couldn't

contact me anymore and it's been nice just being the three of us. Cat goes where I go, for a couple of days. Future actions. I got an order of protection in the meantime. I don't know what precautions number one is taking for his daughter. I do know he made her get rid of social media though. If any further legal action is to be taken, that will have to come from them. We are also moving, I don't know where to but neither of us feels like our place is home anymore.

We'll start looking at houses closer to my family in the next few weeks. What's behind door number two? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there were no human body parts and meat hooks in the locked bathroom. There was however more of what was found in the master bathroom. I do not think he is a serial killer in the making, just very mentally disturbed with unhealthy coping mechanisms and very unhealthy emotional attachments. But I am not a professional and cannot help him. I do think one Redditor had a very valid point of him hating women reviewing us as less, as he only did his thing towards women, me, my niece, and Sonny, his cat, but again, not a professional

so I cannot comment more on it. How am I doing? Some days have been better than others, I've had therapy every other day. Thank you to the Redditors who suggested going to the bathroom with headphones slash a white noise machine, that was very helpful. My sisters are taking turns to come visit, so we have someone with us for a couple of hours in case we need anything. The backstory Many people inquired about the type of bullying that they did to him in his childhood to justify this kind of messadipness.

So here is Ted's statement on that. When you grow up with eight brothers who are much older than you, you grow up to be very vulnerable to criticism, to comparisons, to expectations. Our brothers had many years and it was just them and when the opportunity arose to take it out on someone else he was the most vulnerable. I'm not trying to justify anyone's actions nor am I defending anyone. But there were some things that even I couldn't protect him from that now as an adult, I can see how messed up they were and with everything that has happened I know my brothers have too. We all have demons we are fighting and have been fighting our whole lives. We did not have a supportive family. Everything was buried under the rug instead of providing help and that made us grow up disconnected from reality, from what is proper, and from what is healthy.

Some of us have learned better thanks to our wives, jobs, and life experience. All of us have a lot to learn still, but we cannot change the past, just own up to our mistakes and faults and try to be better tomorrow. Miscellaneous A few random things that popped up. Why did no one check on the cat before? We didn't have a reason to. Sunny, the cat, was not particularly social, so when they video called during quarantine it made sense not to see her.

We didn't go visit anyone during the pandemic, so we didn't know the status things were going to be in, and before the pandemic he was fine. His house was fine and the cat was fine. I don't know how we were supposed to know any of this was happening to go check on the cat or how we could have prevented it from happening. I'm sorry I failed an innocent cat and I will be forever guilty that I couldn't help her. What are the odds of there being 10 sons and three of them being able to to drop everything

and go to the other side of the country? There weren't always 10 sons. As for them dropping everything to come I don't know what answer you want. That they identified how messed up the situation was. that their spouses could deal without them for a couple of days, that they were able to take a day off work and come, that their brother asked for help and they were able to help. I honestly don't know what you want for me with those questions. How didn't you see it coming?

There had to be signs. You would have to ask their family. As you already know I'm not in good terms with them right now and Ted says none that he noticed, but that his perception might be biased since they were so close and that he might have either been oblivious to it or thought it was normal. So that's where my life is at right now, I'm tired and sad and things still suck, but I also have things to look forward to and a very nice therapist

who constantly reassures me that I am okay and safe now and is teaching me how to be normal again. Sorry for the very long update and please know that I am grateful for all of your kindness and taking the time to read through my misadventures. I wish you all, who have been nice, nothing but good things and know that you will always have a friend here, and once I'm ready to be out in the world again I'd be open to have more kind people like you in my life. Ellie, Ted, and Tortilla the Cat Edit, I'm sorry I wasn't clear about the ten brother thing, apparently I might have caused some confusion. What I meant to say is that there weren't always ten sons only.

It is not my family or my story to tell. From what I know they used to have three sisters. Two of them died when they were little because of health issues. This is why there's a gap between 1 to 8 and then Ted and Ash. The other one is a bit more complicated than that. She used to be between number 4 and number 5. Yes, I am aware they had a lot of children, they do not believe in contraceptives, to this day. Sorry about the confusion.

Update 3, Tokyo, Drift. Hello everyone, it's been about two months since the P-show started and I've gotten a lot of messages and comments recently asking for an update and in general most of them were nice and lovely. As always there's of course exceptions, but at this point of my existence I'm resigned to them and assume are just part of internet culture. First of all, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to update, I know there's a lot of people very curious about everything that's happened with Ted's family, but I just needed some time to process things, but here I am sharing yet another miserable piece of this story so you can all be in peace. I'd also like to welcome the Facebook

people, I appreciate people telling me where they're coming from because I didn't know the power of Reddit before I made my first eye to post. Anyway, Ted asked me for time apart, he himself is going through a lot of things and has a lot of feelings that me being with him makes worse. He has a lot of guilt and opening so many closets with skeletons and facing them is a lot to ask of anyone. We're not officially divorced, but we are not looking for new houses together either. We are still in the process of selling our old place so he's been staying there while I stay with my parents. I don't know what's going to happen once the sale of our place is finalized or what he wants to do, but I promised him space so yeah, there's that. He did give me permission to update you all because despite some hateful messages and comments

most of you are incredibly sweet and helpful. Here's the breakdown of Ted's family tree updated counting the sisters. B stands for brother of Ted's S stands for sister. B number one doctor with some type of military background. Wife, three kids. B number two surgeon, wife, two dogs and a bearded dragon. B number 3 engineer, fiancé and dog B number 4 teacher and researcher, wife, one kid

S number 1 B number 5, works in IT not sure of details Wife B number 6 doctor, single and ready to mingle B number 7 chef, businessman, wife, one kid B number 8 car sales, wife, 3 kids, fish S number two and number three be number nine Ted might be ex-wife and cat be number 10 Ash. I didn't just randomly throw in the sisters to add a little bit of spice to the fucked-up situation I'm living through, sorry to disappoint. I didn't count them before because, well, I don't mean to be insensitive to anyone who has lost family members, but I'm going based on what I know of that family. All three sisters were born and died before Ted was even conceived, there hasn't been.

a single second of his life when he said live sisters, so he doesn't say he has sisters, he only says he has brothers, so I don't count them because to me and him he doesn't have any sisters. You guys are wild, the theories you came up with, some more accurate than others, vary from completely reasonable to undeniably insane, but based on what you, and I, know of this family insane runs in the family. Anyway, no, they weren't all murdered. Sisters number two and number three were twins and died of a birth defect, my bad for saying genetic. I don't know why a lot of people assumed it would be something specific only to women, their lungs weren't developed properly or something along those lines. That's all Ted knows and as you know I'm not on speaking terms with

his family to ask more questions, and they died a couple of weeks after being born while still in the hospital, so no chance of any of the brothers doing anything to them. As for sister number one she died in a motorcycle accident when one of the brothers was driving while intoxicated while underage. Why didn't I just say that up front? Because it's none of my or your business, it wasn't relevant to our situation and I honestly think people deserve privacy, so I'm not telling you either which brother it was so you can choose whichever you want to fit your narrative. A lot of people have been asking about the dirty secrets their mom forgave them for, I'll share the ones I can and have permission to share. I'm not giving you. I'm not giving

out which Hach brother did what, just number seven because I had already shared that so there's no point hiding it now. I just copied and pasted the comment I made then. There's 10 brothers total, brothers one to four are your stereotypical older brother golden child striated A students. So brothers five and under were used to having to live up to the expectations the oldest four had set up. It was expected that all of them excelled at a sport, had good grades, go to college on some type of scholarship, because paying for 10 kids college is hard and have a career. Brother number seven didn't want to, he is a brilliant guy he just thought it unfair that his life was dictated by competing against his brothers. So when he graduated high school he said he was studying abroad to become a chef but that his scholarship would only cover partial tuition and no room and board. So his parents were super proud that their son was studying abroad to become a well-known international chef that they said okay as long as you keep up good grades and cook us your signature dishes when you come home for holidays and stuff.

So he moved to New York with four roommates and faked his international life. He is not one to use social media much so he didn't have to prove anything, and he just had to make sure to call his parents at hours that made sense with the time difference and since this was before technology had advanced much he didn't have to visit. call him or anything. He just made up some really good stories to tell during holidays. He kept the money he was receiving from his parents to pay his tuition and boarding and invested in something which ended up making him a lot of money so then he moved back to the West Coast and said he was managing restaurants now. It all came to light when one of the oldest brother's daughter said she wanted to go to the same school that brother number seven had and if he could take her there and show her around and by that point he had enough money

that there weren't many repercussions to be had. But he still is the one to cook Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner because he does cook rather well. So here's the list of things I know, because Ted, their mom, or the brother in question, had told me that they did with zero repercussions from their parents. Stealing and totaling at least two cars, same brother both times, stealing a car, different brother,

leaving Grandma alone for the week when they were supposed to care for her stealing and selling things from the house and other brothers. Getting into fights that ended up with police involved getting into fights that did not end up with the police involved but did end up with a trip to the hospital skipping school events, like senior trip in those, and pocketing the money? Public nudity, public indecency, public urination, I guess it does run in the family. One stalking incident that ended up with a restraining order plenty of underage drinking plenty of driving under the influence. Where is the dad?

Well, last I saw him he was in an urn in the living room of their mom's house, so hopefully he's still there. Growing up he was an ass, incredibly misogynistic and an abusive father and husband. He was a decent grandfather to his journeyed kids, but take it up with them if you want to say anything about why would you expose your children to such a horrible human, I don't have children of my own. Ted's parents were, and she still is, very traditional and appearances are the only thing that matters to them. Having a perfect family with prideful sons and beautiful daughters is all they wanted. I'm not justifying anything, but the loss of their daughters did affect them and the family greatly. Why did they have two more kids after everything that happened? They really wanted a daughter again and tried two more times before being unable to have any more children.

I don't know if they would have kept trying, or if the fact that she is unable to have more children made things worse. What happened to Ash? I don't know. I'd like to say don't know don't care, but I do care from a human standpoint. After being in therapy, I feel a little bit more empathetic at this point and I know he is sick, so I do care and hope he is okay and will be able to heal and move forward. I just wish that to happen very, very far away from me. I don't know if he's still institutionalized or not, but I do have it in good authority that he's staying far from me.

So that's that for that family, hopefully this answers all of your questions about them. As always a big shout out to be number six for being great, he has been very supportive throughout everything and in general he's a good guy and still single and ready to mingle if anyone is interested. He made me emphasize that when I told him I was updating again. So if anyone in the West Coast is looking for a cute doctor with a crazy messed up family he's your guy. Tortilla has very much appreciated all the love, affection, and praise. As I mentioned in a comment at some point I'm sorry for not paying the cat tax, but right now I'm not comfortable sharing pictures of anything, including tortilla, with anyone, nothing against you personally just me being insecure

after everything that's happened, so I do apologize for that. Since I'm committing tax evasion, I will tell you she's a black cat, she's named tortilla because I'm not great at cooking and the first time I made TED tacos, I completely forgot the tortillas were in the oven and got completely charred. As for me, well, everything sucks and everything will continue to suck for a bit, boo that's just life. I had to quit my job, after already quitting my other job, so I'm currently unemployed and freeloading at my parents, but my dad says he don't mind he just wants me to be okay and I love him because of that. It's nice having my sisters around and even more cats to play with tortilla. I'm still in therapy, which is basically all I can do with my life right now.

On the bright side, I am sure none of these cats had ever been brushed as much as they have been these past few weeks so they're all extra shiny and handsome. That's all for today, sorry for the long red. Update 4, Return to Peetown. I've written so many updates throughout the year, some while happy, some while sad, some while drunk but decided against posting them trying to give you a proper end. to the P-Gate saga, but I realize real life doesn't have a proper end. There will always be more things happening. Hopefully this will be the end of it for all of us and I can move on and you'll

get the satisfaction of how things ended up to date, I truly hope you do. I also hope writing this and giving it to you brings me the closure that I need too. I'm writing this update now since I'm in a good enough place right now to open up and appease my guilt about the lack of updates. It's really nice of most of you who have checked on me throughout the year, it's crazy to me that it's been almost a year and there's still new messages and kind words filling my inbox. I'm sorry if I haven't replied, but please know that I read every single message and it warms my heart that there's so many lovely people out there wishing a random stranger such kindness. I'll admit a part of me is always afraid of writing an update, part of it comes from the real-life repercussions

of publishing things online like being identified, which I have been, the other part is also the finality of it. It's odd, but I kind of feel like if I don't tell you guys about it, then I can just pretend it's not real. It's not particularly healthy and my therapist has pointed it out so I'm putting on my cat hair covered, big girl pants and facing the facts. It's a little crazy to think that this all started just a few days into the new year and just how close we are to it again. I remember spending New Year's Eve curled on the couch with Ted and Tortilla wishing for 2021 to be a year filled with adventures and excitement. I guess I better watch my wishes for this upcoming year. I don't even know what I'll do that day, perhaps I'll pack Tortilla and will go on an adventure since I certainly don't plan on just staying on the couch reminiscing about the P-show of a show of a day.

perhaps I'll pack tortilla and will go on an adventure since I certainly don't plan on just staying on the couch reminiscing about the P-show of a year we've had. I will admit though, it was a damn comfy couch and I miss it terribly. I love Ted, I think a part of me will always love him. I've spent such a long and important period of my life with him that it just feels weird to not have him in my day-to-day life. Short story he asked me for a divorce, so there's that. It was as amicable as a divorce under our circumstances can be, we cried during the whole process, he called me to ask for forgiveness, I begged him not to leave me, but ultimately, as much as it hurt, it's what he needed to heal from everything that's happened. We're still friends, we've been best friends for so long that even if that aspect of our relationship is closed off we are still here for each other. I know you're not here to hear about my heartbreak and you probably just want the hot goss and juicy details, so I'll share what information I have. Just bear in mind that now that we're split, I'm not privy to a lot of things.

I'll break things apart into sections so it's a little bit easier to read, but it won't be in chronological order just to keep things organized. My ex-family. B, no. 8. Wife. Three kids, Fish and Cat. I haven't heard from them since the divorce, but prior to that I know they adopted a kitten. His name is Bob. B. Number 7, wife, kid, no idea, haven't heard from them, haven't asked.

B. Number 6 and his girlfriend, he is not single or ready to mingle anymore. I'm really happy for him and his new girl is truly amazing. She is a fellow Reddeter and had read the Pgate saga and loves him still even with his messed up family. I've met them a few times throughout the year and she truly is lovely. Of course they have their ups and downs and issues with the other. other brothers, but overall they're doing great. B, no. Six actually came to visit me after Ted asked me for a divorce.

He hugged me and told me that I would always be his little sister no matter who I was married or not married to. It's been incredibly bittersweet to lose my husband and half-oy what I considered to be my family, but at least I got to keep a brother, since I only have sisters. B, no. Five and his wife, he has never liked me and I have. I finally found out why. He isn't particularly fond of Ted. As you know, the brothers were not nice at all while growing up and apparently number five was the worst of the lot and didn't

like it when Ted would stand up to him or defend Ash and hasn't liked him since they were little. I have had zero contact with him nor do I intend to. B. Number 4, wife, kid, they have stayed pretty much the same, they were always nice. B. Number 4 did ensure that Ash was all of the do not adopt lists of any shelter, shop or vet around the area where they live. He says that even if he does great for the rest of his life that he is not risking another cat or any other animal, going through the same thing if his mental health declines. So at least I left that family with the reassurance that future cats will be protected from ash which honestly did make me feel a bit better. There's always the chance he'll get astray or someone will adopt one for him

but B, number four reassured me that he'd do anything in his power to make sure it didn't happen again. B, number three, his, now, wife, and dog, they got married. When the saga started, they were just engaged. It was a really nice ceremony that I did not attend even though both bride and groom said that I was welcome and should come as I was family. Ted said he wanted me to come but I honestly did not want to ruin any more family pictures. I did attend through Zoom though that's how I know it was nice. B, number two, his wife, two dogs and dragon.

B, no. Two was really helpful when everything happened and was one of the first to take action. He apologized profusely to me both for the original pressure of letting Ash move in, then for what happened, and he was specially apologetic on the role he played in his brother's mental health. I thanked him for the first two and told him the third. one wasn't mine to accept. He was understanding and said that he'd work on helping his family's relationships and that it wasn't fair that I was the one to pay the price for something that wasn't my fault. After the divorce he reached out and told me if there's anything I need he'll be here

for me. In general it was a nice sentiment and I know he's in therapy now too so that's pretty great. B. Number 1, his wife and three kids. As you know B, number 1 was the most outraged about his whole situation since it did affect one of his daughters. Last you guys knew they had asked me to stay away and give them space, but his oldest daughter did reach out to me. She's a sweetheart and told me that she missed how life was before everything happened. I did not ask exactly what her parents told her, but I assumed they had to tell her some version of events since she is old enough to ask the right questions. He did not end up pressing charges, but they did end up moving. Luckily for daughter number one they moved to the East Coast and she found an amazing culinary program that she's very excited about.

Daughter number two, according to her sister, mother and therapist, is doing great. Apparently she never had much contact with Ash outside of big family events with other people and the reason as to why he was taking his feelings out on her picture was more because she is the spitting image of her dad. Not strictly about her as an individual but about who she represents and the fact that she is a woman, I'll go into that later. She's still in therapy but is very annoyed about it, claiming that this has nothing to do with her and that she's upset about moving and leaving all of her friends. So in all be no. One's family is safe and adjusting to life on the East Coast, but still keeping their distance with me. They have not liked the weather so far, but I did tell daughter number one. one that she's welcome to visit any time and be number one's wife and I are friendly enough

that she'd let her. Be number one and I have not spoken since everything went down. Any and all communications have been through his wife and daughters. The wicked bitch of the West. Some days for the fun of it I'll go into our slash just normal and convince myself that at least mine was not as bad. Some others I'll see some and wish I could have one whose worst action was wearing white to my wedding. We were never best friends, but she wasn't always awful to me. Living on the other

side of the country there was always a barrier in our relationship that I think we were both comfortable with you know. We didn't have to interact with each other much and were okay with it. She had so many other dill that lived nearby, that gave her grandchildren that I just wasn't as important to her. I still called her on her birthdays and anniversaries, and she always invited me over for the holidays. Whenever we would go over the holidays, the house was always so filled with people that I was just one more or one less and I was comfortable with that. I think that's where my dormanting with this family started. I tried to be as much help as I could and would do anything to help which in the long run backfired on me. I think the most time we ever spent together

was during our wedding planning. Our wedding was never that important to Ted or me, we just wanted to be together. Our parents on the other hand were dying to have a big wedding. I'm the first of my sisters to get married, and with the age gap between Ted and his older brothers there hadn't been a big event like this in a while. I don't regret marrying Ted one bit, I could do without the big wedding though. I do wish we could have gotten married at the courthouse with just the two of us, or maybe elope to Vegas and gotten married by Elvis. I don't even know if they still do that, but it just as if not more memorable than a huge 200-plus wedding. I remember when we finally agreed to the big wedding how ecstatic she was. It was like for the first time I was more than just

another dill out of the pile. It's stupid, but it felt nice, you know. To feel like I was finally accepted into the inner family, even if it was at the cost of a huge wedding. I tried to involve her in the process as much as I could, with ten sons I figured she didn't have a lot of opportunities to do girly stuff. She was lovely to me then, perhaps to get her way and I was just too naive to see it. I stayed the golden dill for a while after two, I think until another grandchild was born and then I was happy to be out of the spotlight. Going back to our comfortable coexistence, it was exhausting to be in her favor with all of the expectations that come with it. It's a little crazy to think back and remember feeling how much I wanted her to like me, and now thinking that I'd do

anything for her to not know of my existence. After Ash got committed to a psych ward, she did everything within her power to bring me down. I went NC with her and with most of the family for a while but slowly made amends with some of the others, of course not with her. I saw her once when she came with some of the others to pack up Ash's apartment. She went to my parents' place just to yell at me which was awful. The worst part is that she timed it up so well, my parents were at work, my sisters were at either work or school. It was just me sobbing on the other side of the door. I heard the doorbell and went to open it and saw her. She didn't even pretend to be civil and just laid it out on me. She brought up every single thing I could have possibly ever done to her and her

family. She told me I was a failure of a wife, that she hoped I got ruined during the divorce and she would make sure that her son took absolutely everything from me. That she wouldn't rest until I was destitute. That she was grateful I was barren because she couldn't stand the idea of tainting her blood with mine. She said so many awful things that day, but that last one is the one that stuck the most. Ted and I were never trying to have children, but we were also not trying not to. We figured we were stable enough that if it was meant to be it would be, but it never was. Does it make me an awful human being for being thankful? My parents' neighbors called the cops and they escorted her out of the property. That's how my sister found me just sitting on the floor

crying with tortilla. She called Ted and I guess he got the story from B. 5, who I guess is the one who drove her and I just never saw him. I haven't heard a peep from her since. I don't know what Ted told her or what she told him. I just know that after that day she has left me completely alone and I'm grateful for that. Ted, the most okayest ex-husband in the universe. I could tell you a thousand things about Ted and tell you none at all. It just feels off to not be with him, but I try to respect his needs and wishes. As you know he asked me for a divorce on the grounds of I cannot do this to you,

I will never forgive myself for putting you in this situation. I don't want to expose you to my family ever again and let them hurt you. I was upset because he was making a decision on what he wanted for me without taking into account what I wanted myself, but after very long therapy sessions, I came to realize that while he was wording it as doing it to protect me it truly was to protect himself or at the very least appease his guilt. Perhaps not having me around helped him feel like nothing had happened or he truly thought that this is what was best for me.

It just sucks because I always considered what was best for us, not me or him but us as a team, but then again his solution was to not have a team. There are days when I wake up cursing his name and shadow, some other where I just stare at my phone and consider calling him. Some days I even lose that battle and do end up calling him, he always does answer and reassures me that he's there for me. Anyway, we sold our house and he of course moved out. For a while he moved to the West Coast to fix his family issues while the divorce was being processed.

He did come back as his job is here and he loves his job. I don't know if I should be glad he's still here in the city that was our home or if I should hate him for ruining an entire city I love. It sucks that every place I want to go is filled with memories of him. Perhaps it's me who should move and start over somewhere else where people don't know my dark pee filled past. I'll tell you a bit about Ted's adventures in the East Coast later, this section is Life Updates. Some people expressed concern for him and I've also been sending him well wishes and comments and messages. I pass them along and he says, thank you. I'll copy and paste that bit of the update I wrote, but didn't post, the day he came back to town and asked me to meet that is about you

redditors. I apologize in advance, it was not a good day. I was never one to use reddit, it much. I wonder where my life would be without you now. I probably would have let his family continue to dorm at me and who knows. Perhaps I'd be with Sunny right now and Ash would have gotten all of his life streams come true. To this day I still get messages wishing us both well. Part of me is jealous to have to share you with him. Why does he deserve your well wishes when I'm the one who ended up alone? You guys are bigger and better people than I am. I did tell him you guys hoped he was okay. I'll admit I did tell him partly to hurt him and make him feel guilty.

Perhaps I'll regret it someday, but I just needed him to feel something other than pity for me. You know what's the worst part? He laughed, admittedly a dead man's laugh, but the sound still bothered me. It's not fair he gets to laugh. He said, thank you, that one day he hopes he'll be the man you guys thought he was or could be. He also said sorry to disappoint you all, that he knows this is not the ending you wanted for us. Although some of you did wish this outcome at the very beginning. I don't know if you'll have changed your mind after all of the updates or if you stand your ground that I should leave him, but well, he has always liked being ahead of things and left me himself.

Dash. Other than that Ted is as good as he can be, just like me he has good days and bad we meet every so often and check up on each other. He tells me what's going on in his life, I tell him how I'm doing. After his mom's visit to my parents' house, I moved out again. I haven't invited him over to my new place, nor do I think I want to. I think having a place without memories of him or his family for the first time in a decade is what I need right now. Tortilla misses him, but I try to convince myself she understands. The Pemman himself, I don't even know where to start.

When Ash was first committed after the fight with his brothers when B number three, B number four, and B number eight first came to help sort everything out at the very beginning he stayed there for a few weeks. While he was there he asked to see Ted multiple times which he never did, but he did at one point write him a letter. At that point I didn't want to know what it said but at some point I did ask Ted about it. He said he had written telling him to stop asking to see him, that he needed to prioritize himself and his life over him for once in his life and stop putting him, ash, above his own

needs. After a few weeks B No. 3 arranged for him to be transferred over to the West Coast. I'm not sure if he was transferred into a different facility or if he was released into their custody. Once that was finalized, which took about two months, is when their mom in B No. 5 and B. Number 7 came to pack up his apartment and officially moved him back west. Eventually, or right then, as I mentioned I'm not sure of that exact timeline, he moved in with their mom. B number two was the one in charge of overseeing he undergoes treatment and I trust that he continues to do so. When Ted went over I guess to have it out with his family it was hard. He met with his brothers first, I'm not sure if all of them were there, but I guess the

most involved ones were. From what Ted told me B number three told them a bit of what he had been talking with his doctors while he was here in the East Coast. He was treated for a psychotic episode one think. After that he's been in treatment ever since, I'm not sure what the exact diagnosis is, but they did talk about a lot of things. They talked about their upbringing and how their bullying had an effect on Ash, how Ted's protectiveness created an unhealthy emotional attachment, and a few other things came to light. I don't know if these are conclusions they came to or if they were told by Ash's therapist or exactly how they got there, but this is what Ted told me. when he came back. It was weird listening to him talk about it.

He was so detached like he was talking about someone else's family, but I guess it's his way of processing things. I don't know. Many of you asked at some point or another what type of bullying they could have done to make him turn out like this. Well, Ted answered some of those questions for me. For the sake of being consistent, I won't tell you who did what. Per usual you can choose your own brother to fit your narrative.

Just know that while some brothers are remorseful and regretful for their behaviors, apparently some others aren't. Many of you also took a few guesses at the type of tormenting they did and some were more accurate than others. Apart from your regular standardized bullying of punching, humiliating, mocking, tricking and insulting there was also locking in cabinets, stealing his clothes, leaving him outside all night long, locking all bathrooms so he'd have to wet himself, threatening with a variety of items and weapons. Leaving him at places and making him walk miles to their house in a variety of weathers, put him in diapers, antagonize him, tie him up and drag him on ATVs through the property, dumping water on him and leaving him in cold weather, itching powder in his underwear, I could go on but you get the picture. I know some people don't get along with their siblings and that bullying and sibling rivalry is a thing but it just seemed so evil when he was describing it. What could he have possibly done to deserve it? I don't get it. It doesn't excuse his behavior, but it does explain a little bit of it.

His hatred for women comes from a similar place, the general consensus is that he blames his mother for not protecting him from all of that, making his view on women as weak and useless. If his own mother couldn't protect him from his own brothers who could. I guess in general his brothers didn't help with that growing up because they would alienate him from any girls who showed any interest in him. That's how his emotional attachment to Ted began, he was the only one standing up and defending him.

But we all already know how that ended. For now and hopefully ever Ash is staying west. I'm sorry I don't have more definitive answers for you. I'm sure many of you were expecting them, but I also can't bring myself to ask any more questions. When this all started when I was right out of school, I kept two pairs of shoes that had been part of the P incident. I threw most of everything else out but those two pairs.

The first pair doesn't matter to you guys, the second were the first thing I bought with my own money for my very first internship while I was still in school, they represented the very first step, hence why shoes, to my independence. Having to quit both of my jobs, moving in back with my parents, and losing Ted sucked. And I just thought of those shoes stashed in a box and how unfair it was that I had lost all that the shoes represented. I'm slowly building my life back up again, moving to my new apartment and getting a new job or the first steps, I guess I'll

see what the future holds for me in Tortilla. I haven't worn them since they were peed on, but maybe I'll wear them again someday when I feel like a whole person again. Happy holidays read it, I don't know how mine will be, but I certainly hope yours are filled with light and joy. Much love from my tattered heart. Ellie and Tortilla the Cat. Update 5. P-Man Tell No Tales. It's been a while since I've been here. I even stopped writing unposted updates because I honestly didn't want to think about life or

anything. How are all of you doing? How's the New Year treating you? I hope you've all been well and healthy, that all of your cats are being pet and your bladders empty. I'll keep this update as short as I can, I've gotten a few comments and messages saying I unnecessarily write too much and take too long to get to the point, so I'm sorry about that although it is not my job to keep you entertained with my life.

I'm writing this because of the overwhelming amount of love and support I've received from many Redditors and the ones who have inquired about my well-being and asked for updates. So I guess if it's too long for your taste feel free to stop reading at any point. My story has no impact on your lives other than for entertainment so truly you can see. stay or go and I'll be none the wiser. The last time I wrote was just before the holidays. And I'll admit my holiday plans were not the brightest in hindsight. I know in my last update I said that I wouldn't just sit on the couch and wallow in self-pity but take a wild guess at exactly what I did. I honestly wasn't up to celebrating, my family is really into

Christmas and happiness and joy and I didn't want to bring the mood down so I told my dad I was spending it with a friend who recently lost her husband. She went out of state to be with his parents, and I just stayed home with tortilla watching movies. Ted called me Christmas Day, and for the very first time I didn't answer. Are you all super proud of me? I definitely felt that you guys would be after so many of you agreed that I should cut them off completely, but please accept my baby steps, I just couldn't bring myself to go cold turkey for my best friend even after everything that happened. He texted me later in the day to check in and make sure that I was all right, saying he saw my sister's photos on Facebook and noticed I wasn't there. Should I ask my sisters to block him?

He loves them and they love him, before everything went down he truly was an amazing guy, and even now after everything he's still doing his best. I don't know if it's how I write or when I write, or maybe it's me being biased by our relationship, but Ted is not as horrible as some of you paint him to be. He's also going through something incredibly traumatic and having to face head on everything his family did is not easy. I sat on his text for a few hours thinking what to reply and honestly came up empty-handed. I was not all right, but all in all he's still the person who knows me best. The ten years we spent together weren't wasted time, we didn't break it off because we fell out of love but because it's what was best for both of us. You guys get to read my updates from a point of privilege in a sense, you're not the ones whose lives got destroyed and went from one happy family to being completely on your own. I had my family and you to fall back on, but Ted didn't.

Some of his brothers hate him even more now because of all of this. He lost his best friend and little brother, he lost his partner, he lost tortilla too, and even though it's a good riddance he also lost his mom. It's easy to villainize him and think him some monster for hurting me because you only know my side of the story and the T-bits I share with you, but he's still a person. He also got incredibly hurt throughout this whole ordeal and he's human and he's bound to make mistakes even though I don't think us getting divorced will ever count as a mistake to him. I ended up just writing back something along the lines of wasn't up for a party so just stayed in with tortilla. Merry Christmas and I guess he knew something was wrong and came to my park. He knows the overall area where I live and the lovely park that I frequent and he asked me to meet him which I did. Yes, you can be less proud of my micro-achievement that day but once again baby steps.

We talked for a few hours. I didn't know he was spending Christmas by himself otherwise I probably would have liked to spend it with him or at the very least I would have invited him to my parents. A lot of you have insisted that cutting him off completely would be best, but I disagree. I might change my mind later on, but for now I think we still need each other a little bit. Each day I do think I need him a little bit less, but that day I needed him and some days he needs me too. I'd like to think we can be friends, but I know that long-term that's might not be sustainable. At some point he'll find the next partner and they probably won't like me much or maybe will grow apart. Maybe one day I'll hate him for everything that happened, but for right now he's helped me in ways that others can't.

It might sound stupid on my end, but I don't think anyone other than him truly understands who I am right now. I am not the same person I was before everything went down, I'm not even the same person I was a year ago. Going through this whole thing with his family changed both of us a lot and not everyone gets it or understands why I'm not comfortable bringing kids to the bathroom or why I had to go home. sick when my boss gave me sunflowers on. International Women's Day I do think that we both lost parts of ourselves that were perhaps a bit too naive and we've both grown in ways neither of us expected to have to grow but that have grounded us a bit.

I've lived a very, very privileged and sheltered life and even though I lost some of the sunshine that filled me, I feel like this new shade has helped me connect with people a lot more and understand their struggles in a more empathetic way, or at the very least I'd like to think so. Maybe that's just what going to therapy does for you, in which case I definitely suggest everyone to go to therapy P-Men or not. All in all, I think we're both doing a little bit better. Tortilla is doing great, apart from a little health scare she is per usual doing great. Our new place has a lot of windows which means a lot of sunny patches which she is enjoying thoroughly. Ted went no contact with most of his family and is currently low contact with

before and B-6, so I don't really have anything to tell you about Ash or the rest of the brothers other than B-6 who is really sad that Ted is keeping his distance from. Him specifically since he also cut off mostly everyone but he says he understands and that he'll be there for him whenever he is ready. It was brought up quite a few times that what was always referred to as bullying was actually abuse and I do think it's important to use that word when describing their childhood. I think precisely part of the problem that caused the House of Cards to come down was the dismissive way everyone went about it and how much they all, including Ted and Ash, downplayed it as either boys will be boys, brothers are like that, or simply I thought

it was normal. I think if any of the wives or I had known the extent of things in their childhood perhaps a lot of different decisions would have been made. Of course my ex-mill is a lot to blame for that, but well I guess we've all learned from it. I don't think I'm ready to date yet, I think I need to learn to be alone first. I was with Ted since college and it's been quite some time since. I don't even think I know how to do a first date anymore, but I'm sure I'll be able to Google it whenever I get there. It's been weird adapting to solitude. I don't want to call it loneliness because sometimes it's nice you know. I'll finish a book and close it and the place will be quiet and not in an eerie way but somehow comforting. I've had to learn a lot which made me realize

how heavily I relied on others to help me with things that I always could have done myself. I changed a tire for the first time. It was a scary experience because my tire popped on a highway, but I did it. I learned that different plants have different care requirements after killing a bunch, but now I have a little basil that's doing great. I learned that I actually don't really care for action movies, the high speed and constant pressure is not something I enjoy. I learned to cook shrimp, Ted is allergic so we never had any at home. Pro tip, don't forget to devane your shrimp. There are also things that I miss about being with Ted, I had to drive myself to the emergency room after missing a carrot with a knife and I think that hospitals should have valet options.

Tortilla had a health scare and being alone in the waiting room was truly awful. The death anniversary of a childhood friend came and went and he wasn't there to comfort me. I also really, really dislike mopping and I'm stuck having to do it myself. That's about it I think. I haven't seen Ted since Christmas though we do still text each other very so often and have called each other a few times, but we're learning to be apart without withdrawing all of our support at once. We are still healing, I am still healing but now I can confidently say that I can see a bright side when before it was just kind of living one day at a time. I don't know if that makes sense. Ted's birthday is coming up. I don't think I'll go see him but I'll ask his friends to make sure

he's not alone. I've been toying with the idea of adopting an elder cat for him, he always felt so strongly about them and I think it'd be good for him but I don't want to overstep. What do you guys think. Lastly, I want to thank you for your constant support and well-wishes. You truly are an amazing community that shows a side of humanity that truly is beautiful. Of course Reddit has its dark corners and mean people, but the majority of you are such a strong support system without even knowing me and the many others you have helped and I just feel like perhaps the internet is not so bad. I'll make sure to pay back and pass on all of the kindness I have received from all of you and maybe one Redditor at a time we can leave this place a little bit better than we found it.

Right now I think this is as good a final update as any, a relative content ending with a hopeful future. I don't know, maybe I'll surprise you a lot Gilmore girls and give you a year in the life sometime in the future. But for now I can say that everything will be okay. Head pets for all those who want them. Intended for cats, but I don't discriminate based on species, and my love for everyone for my mending heart.

Ellie and Tortilla. Update 6. Return of the P-Men. Hello lovely people of Reddit. How are you? Almost an entire year has gone by and I hope that we have all grown older and wiser. It's endearing to know that even after all this time there's still people following me and sending me heartwarming messages and comments. Also, thank you.

To whomever reported me to Reddit care. I didn't even know that was a service they offered. It was, I hope, from a place of caring and concern. I guess at some point the story made it into TikTok. So hello to all of those who came from there. At this point I'm expecting AOL chat rooms or Yahoo answers were to show up. The new 20s are kicking my ass and not in a particularly positive way, I cannot wait for this decade to be over.

A Redditor called my last update a holiday special and it made me laugh. I don't think they meant it kindly but it just struck me funny because I am an absolute sucker for the Hallmark channel. So here I am again after the holidays. For my haters and those who don't want to sit for a half-hour monologue, here's the TL, DR, I got a robot mop, my Basil died, things started to look somewhat normal, my ex-husband tried to kill himself and now I'm back living at my parents. I've highlighted the bits mentioned in the TL, DR in case you want to skip to parts, but now for the longer version of events not necessarily in chronological order. My life-saving robot mop and my dying basil. At the suggestions of multiple Redditors I got myself a steam mop at first.

It definitely helped but I still had to go through the motions of mopping and the floor still being a little damp and my socks getting wet is what bothers me about mopping, so at the suggestion of other reditors I got a robot mop. I have a rhomba I just didn't know they also made mop versions. It's perfect and I love it. I run her while I'm out for the day and I come home to nicely fresh dry floors and it's the best feeling in the world. My little basil plant died, I think it's my fault because I moved it from where I had it in

the kitchen and it was getting more light than before but it's dead. I did make a really nice pasta salad with the last of it, orzo with cherry tomatoes, mozzarella balls, olive oil, salt and basil. Super simple and delicious. I was gifted a few miniature rose plants, thoroughly killed all of them in a few months and kind that gave up on live greenery. Life going back to somewhat normal and my internal monologuing ramblings. Life sucks and then you die.

One of my sisters has always been. been attached to that saying and I think that the beauty of it is that it can be interpreted in so many different ways. She sees it as a reminder not to focus on the bad things for you never know when you will die, but right now I feel it a bit more literally. I believe the romanticized saying of when it rains, it pores comes from a similar sentiment. I went on a date, a friend of mine set me up with a co-worker of his and it was weird. I don't know if I've always been this awkward or if first dates as a rule are awkward or if we simply didn't click with each other but I just spent the entire dinner with this feeling of fight or flight.

The guy was lovely, I don't know, maybe we should have just done something less formal than dinner. I haven't had a first date in so many years. I guess people nowadays do coffee instead and I should have gone that way, or maybe I wasn't ready yet. My new, not new anymore, but the one I got after everything happened. Job is lovely. My boss doesn't gift me flowers anymore. I don't know if he's perceptive and saw what happened last year and got the hint or if someone

mentioned something but now when everyone else gets flowers I get lamps. I know it sounds random but I love lamps and light up things. In the past year he has given me a little cat night light that brings me so much joy, also some fairy lights and one of those Himalayan rock salt lamps. He's a great guy and I really appreciate the effort. My workmates are great and the work we do is both fun and fulfilling which is something I didn't have before. I used to have two jobs, one fulfilling and one to pay the bills. It's crazy to have one that does both and it makes me feel like I wasted so much time of my life in my previous one, so that's a silver lining of everything.

Tortilla is doing great, she now has to eat prescription food and is very unhappy about it, even though it's been months. The winter is always a little rough on her because she gets extra fluffy and you can tell it bothers her so tis the season for more brushing and deshitting. If you have long-haired pets I do recommend the Fermanator but Amazon has cheaper comparable alternatives. She is getting older so I do what I can to make sure she's comfortable. One of my sisters got a kitten and we watch him while she's out of town and Tortilla

absolutely adores him. Macha, the kitten, doesn't love all. all of the grooming she gives him and pretends not to like her, but if she's asleep he'll go and cuddle with her, but if she wakes up first he'll run away. I'm rambling perhaps because I don't know where to start or what to tell and it's also scary in a sense because I know certain people keep tabs on me through this account, and I don't care if they do, but it still feels odd. Kind of like the feeling you get when you know someone is watching you from afar.

I don't know if that'll make sense to you guys, but yeah anyway. When I'm feeling particularly masochistic I'll read comments on places where the Pymann saga has been shared. Most of you on my own threads are absolutely lovely and supportive, but outside of my own virtual walls is where people share the harsher opinions. As I mentioned, it's masochistic and unhealthy and I know it and my therapist knows it, but it also grounds me a bit and helps me see things from perspectives I hadn't considered. For example, someone called me deranged for being so obsessed over cats. I hadn't really noticed but a good portion of my updates do revolve around cats and cat well-being. This is because I, in fact, do love cats. That person said I showed more empathy towards cats than I did towards Ash or my family-in-law, or even Ted.

And yeah, a little. Consider me sociopathic if you'd like but domesticated animals in general do not have a say in what goes on in their lives. We as pet owners make the decisions for them and try to make the best ones that we can. But in regards to Sunny, yes, I absolutely, and to this day will always feel more empathy for her than for anyone else involved because she was helpless. There was no other option for her, no safe place, and no one to advocate for her. Even if you take out the sentimental component in my attachment to cats, from a humane standpoint it was still awful and there is a reason why animal cruelty charges were considered.

Other comments said I was over-victimizing myself, that what I went through was truly nothing and I'm just dramatic, which maybe I am a little, and that the true victims were X or Y or Z. I think each person involved in this whole ordeal is a victim in one way or another, but being a victim in your own story does not trump you being a villain in someone else's. Take my ex-mill, for example, she is the person who has gotten the least amount of sympathy in everything I've read but her husband was a posse, he was an abusive father and husband. I know her upbringing was less than stellar and has a lot of unresolved trauma with the death of her daughters. Does it excuse her behavior? No. Does it explain it a little bit? Maybe.

Does it make better all of the damage she caused? Definitely no. Ash was a victim of an incredibly abusive childhood. But part of the reason why this caught everyone by surprise and why everything went downhill so fast is because he was very well put together, or at least he was incredible at managing or hiding away his feelings. He has an engineering degree from a recognized university, he had a stable job and successful life after he graduated. Everything went down with the pandemic and the isolation. I don't know, and I've thought about this a lot, but I do wonder if there had been no pandemic what would have happened.

Would Ash not have snapped? Would something else have triggered him? Would someone else open the skeleton closet? The imaginary wadifs are their own adventure, I have pictured so many different lives with happy, sad and tragic endings. I am aware that it's not good to fixate on the same. those, but sometimes I envy the possibilities. I will admit, though, that in my wildest imaginations I did not quite ever picture Ted dying. He is not dead, let me preface with that, he is doing okay right now. Please remember that while all of this is written from my perspective, the real person

in the middle of it was Ted, I was just a casualty. It took many, many therapy sessions to come to terms that it wasn't really my fault, I was just the unfortunate one to have drawn the short stick. What made Ash be the way he ended up was the years of abuse and dismissive attitude from their family in one way or another that would have come out regardless of my involvement. I'd like to imagine something somehow would have convinced him to go to a real therapist and it would have been dealt with in a safe, healthy way, but I guess we'll never know. The one thing I have come to be thankful for is that it was me that broke the camel's back and not be one's daughter. Things would have been drastically different and much more horrifying.

Ted, also T.W. So as you all remember, I kind of kept in touch with B6 after the divorce, but after the suggestion of many of you and a lot of people in my life I kind of took a step back and distanced myself from him. A few months after I got contacted by B6 asking me if I had heard from Ted recently, which I hadn't and he explained that some family stuff had gone down, he didn't explain what nor did I ask, and that a lot of them had tried to reach out to him, but nobody had succeeded. He told me he was worried and that he was making plans to come to our city to check in on him and to let him know if I heard from him. I know Ted was deliberately keeping his family at a distance, including B6, so it didn't really strike me as odd that they hadn't heard from him, but to give

credit when it's due it's not like Ted to just ignore a family emergency. I shot him a message letting him know that B6 had contacted me looking for him, but I didn't hear back from him. At that point Ted and I had distanced ourselves from each other, like it had been suggested over and over in my multiple updates, so it also wasn't alarming when he didn't reply back, but he did read my message. Fast forward about two weeks or so and B6 tells me he's in town and would like to meet me. I said yes because I missed him and asked him to dinner at this new place that I thought he'd like, and he said no, just coffee. That was weird because B6 is a massive foodie and he never turns down new restaurants, but I figured he was in town only for a few days and wanted to spend more time with Ted.

We met at my park and honestly he looked rough, I just remember taking a step back and this feeling of dread. You know when you know a person is going to give you bad news? To be absolutely honest, I thought he was going to tell me that Ash was back in town, but he just looked so ready to give up. He told me that a few more things had come to light in the family, that I wasn't really interested in knowing so I didn't ask for specifics, I'm sorry I can't provide more hot goss which I know is something that you guys like, and that when he'd come to check on Ted, he found him spiraling pretty bad. Ted was never much of a drinker just kind of socially and on special occasions, but that

when he got to his place he was completely wasted at 10 a.m. on a Saturday. B6 stayed with him and sobered him up and eventually on Sunday. he caught him up on the family situation. B6 went out to grab his stuff from his hotel and came back to Ted completely unresponsive. He called emergency services and Ted stayed in the hospital for a bit. I don't really know if anything else happened to him or if it was just an accumulation of everything that had been happening for the past two years catching up with him, but it feels to me that he had been going on a self-destructive bender for quite a while.

Talking it over with my therapist, she kind of implied that that would be. make sense and it would also kind of explain why the divorce. Maybe I'm just trying to find a justification of why he divorced me even after all this time but knowing Ted the way that I do that would make sense. He was always a great protector, I guess he got that trait early in his life protecting Ash. He's the type of guy to keep an eye out on girls drink at a bar that always stops to check if an unaccompanied child is okay. He also has some controlling tendencies that most often lead into anxiety. He's a great planner but has great difficulties when things don't go according to said plan. It makes him rigid at times but also extremely reliable. But those are all things

I always loved about him. Many times during our multiple conversations before the divorce he would always apologize for not being able to protect me, for putting me in harm's way and even though I thought I had reassured him that it wasn't his fault I guess he was never convinced. He was also coming. He was also coming to terms with the reality that his family was not really as nice as he thought, having realized that he himself had taken part in the dismissiveness of the family's actions throughout their childhood, having to realize how bad and horrifying his past was, and how monstrous some of his brothers are. It really takes a toll on a person.

He was dealing with his own trauma, the immeasurable guilt he felt and all in all the powerlessness. Ted ended up and going to a treatment center for a bit. He wouldn't let me visit, but he did write me emails. They are a little too personal to share with you guys, but it was a very emotional experience reading them. The first few apologetic for making me worry and reassuring me that he was all right. Some others very rambling, and that's coming from me, and some others actually pretty great. It was a very interesting progression seeing him go from hyper-polite and apologetic back to the same man I fell in love with.

It was also very interesting seeing him internalized things that I had been saying for years, and also gaining insight on things that I hadn't seen before. Overall, I think it was cathartic for him. I do think writing is the best outlet hence why I'm here, and it helped him organize his thoughts. Why emails to me specifically instead of a diary or emails to himself? I have no idea, but I'm not complaining. There was one particular email where he was angry. at everyone and everything.

Everything was wrong and he was frustrated and I felt so relieved. It was amazing reading his spark coming back. When he first emailed me he asked me not to reply to his emails, to just listen, read, or that if I wanted to I could just delete them and he would be none the wiser. In the angry email he called me by a nickname that he hadn't used in years, since before we got married, and boy did that piss me off. It wasn't anything serious, he was ranting about a trip we had taken with a few friends and they ended up breaking up in the middle of it and didn't want to go back home because everything was already paid for but refused to be with each other so we ended up splitting boys and girls to do the activities that were planned and he was miserable though. Entire time.

He said something along the lines of I haven't forgiven Alyssa for Venice. It was supposed to be you and I peaches, not me and rog on a freaking gondola. It's nothing wrong with the pet name itself, but it just brought back the feeling of everything I had lost and all of the memories of everything and I went against his request and replied to his email. This led to more correspondence between the two. He didn't take it badly that I replied so I don't know if that was his intention all along or what, but we just emailed back and forth for a few weeks and it was nice.

We never talked about Ash or his family when we emailed, I don't know if it was because it just didn't come up naturally or he was avoiding the topic, but it was nice just communicating with him like back in the day. When we first met Facebook Messenger was the thing we used to communicate and just writing to him brought me back to those days. It's stupid how much I still love him and how much I missed him. Those stupid emails were like getting my best friend back even if he wasn't my husband anymore.

He is now back at his place. B3, his wife and dog lived with him, yay remote. work, for a while just until he got properly settled. He now takes antidepressants and has a broader support network and is doing much better. He stopped shutting people out while still maintaining some healthy boundaries, which is great. He's back in touch with B3, before and B6 which were always his closets other than Ash, and is absolutely NC with everyone else. I feel a little bad for his nibblings because I know he was really close to some of them and I know he misses them, but yeah, that's something he definitely needed. For what is worth B6 also is NC with everyone.

He was always kind of distant with everyone other than Ted and Ash, I'm guessing, because he knew, but after everything he's kind of getting closer to before and B3 which, hey, another silver lining. I'm not entirely sure what contact three and four have with everyone else, but I do know that before is somewhat involved, but he has a clear understanding and respect of the boundaries that Ted set and does not share information with him or of him. Ted and I have met a few times. Sometimes at friends events others just to catch up and I honestly can tell he is doing good now. He's regained the weight he lost and his hair is shiny again. You can't see his freckles anymore so he's been spending time in the sun which is good and his shoulders don't sag anymore.

He went back to his job this this past week, he was put on L-O-A and I can tell how much it gives him a sense of purpose. He was never able to not do anything so I can imagine how that time was extra itchy for him because of that. We did end up going to a shelter and he adopted an elderly cat. His name is Sox I'm guessing because he has white paws. He's a great cat and very loving, he's also missing a bunch of his teeth. Ted has been trying to rename him Macbeth, but he doesn't seem to like it. In Ted's defense, he also doesn't respond to Sox so maybe he'll succeed. seed. I brought Tortilla to visit them and she was very happy to see Ted. She didn't really care for Mack Sox, but that's because she doesn't like animals bigger than her. Back at my parents

and life right now. As I mentioned before, I live on the East Coast in 2022 was particularly rough for us. Two hurricanes hit my town and my apartment flooded. During state of emergency, my dad always invites us to their place so at least Tortilla and I were safe, but yeah, that sucked. I don't know if it was a message from the universe or divine intervention or what but you know the two pairs of shoes that I kept. Ruined. Both of them. I tried everything in my power to save them. Even consulted professionals but yeah, ruined beyond repair. I mean, it wasn't only those two shoes. Like half of my belongings had to be replaced and a bunch of other sentimental things but you guys know about the shoes and my attachment to them even if you're not. if they were a biohazard. My poor apartment went through a lot. The floors had to be removed

because of the water damage and it was already rotting and molding underneath by the time we were able to go in so that was a big investment to fix, my appliances needed to be replaced, including the robot mop tragically, and most of my furniture too. For the record I did have sandbags, but I guess it was too much for them. Insurance covered a portion of the repairs it but clearly not all. Insurance claims a well, it ended up being the best option to fix the things and sell the apartment. I have always complained about moving, but there was something so depressing about moving with just a few boxes. Not even when I went to college did I have so little with me. So I'm currently staying with my parents.

Again, it's a little frustrating, but I'm grateful to be with my parents. The house feels a little lonely because the last of my sisters just moved away to college. so it's quiet except for the cats running around, but hey, cats are great company. I'm in the process of closing on a new apartment. In a high rise this time so this hopefully doesn't happen again. I'll miss my park, but the new apartment is in an amazing location with everything nearby. I could also bike to my job if I wanted to, but I'd have to learn how to ride a bike first. Why don't I know how to ride a bike?

Because my dad was too overprotective and thought we'd die. if we got on a bike. I don't know if I'm too old to learn how to ride a bike now, but I'm willing to bruise my ego and try training wheels. The new apartment has much bigger windows so there will be lots of sunny patches for tortilla. I wanted to build a patio at my last place because I did have a small terrace but the new place has a balcony which seems a little unsafe for a patio. So yeah, that's life right now. I've been focusing on work and spending time with my parents. I booked myself a trip in March and it'll be my first time traveling alone. I'm slightly scared because I've never had to plan a trip by myself.

Did I mention TED is a great planner? And I have no idea if I'm doing things right, but that's the point. I've been taking classes for the language of where I'm going so we'll see how much I actually learned. I want to share something as well, which is ultimately why I ended up writing this update and choosing the title. I did not add it in the TLDR because screw the haters, if they don't want to read all of my ramblings, why should they be privy to it all? Back when B6 contacted me about Ted I was afraid that he was telling me that Ash was back and as you now know that was not the case. When Ted was getting help, I received a letter at my parents' house. It was a letter from Ash. For the first time in the two years since Bgate happened, I didn't feel dread.

I don't know if it's because I was receiving Ted's emails or maybe I've done some good healing, my therapist really should start charging me more. She refused when I offered her a raise saying that it doesn't work like that, but yeah, I read it. He apologized. He also owned up to a lot of things he had done to me that I had never noticed were microaggressions on his part and he owned up to a lot of his behaviors that always bothered me. He didn't try to justify anything just apologize. He admitted to a few other things that were both surprising and not, and some others that a few of you guessed about.

It felt a little rambley and desperate, but I get it. He apologized for hurting Ted, that he knew what Ted was going through perhaps more than anyone else, and that he understood that he had done irreparable damage and was never going to be in his life again. That even if he couldn't help his brother after everything he'd caused, he knew that by at least owning up to his mistakes he could at least make it up a little to me, and that even if Ted never knew about it, it was a small way for him to apologize to him indirectly. He said a line that I found interesting I'm sorry I ruined your marriage, but I don't think I ruined your life. Ted would not have chosen you if you weren't resilient. He also thanked me for trying.

I tried really hard at first to be friends with him, but after the incident of course it was a big nope. He said he had given up on people other than Ted trying for him and that he was sorry he never. gave me a chance. He admitted he was jealous that I brought Ted happiness in ways he couldn't and that he regretted that because of him Ted had lost that. I think it was just a way to try to appease the guilt he was feeling about hurting his favorite person and seeing the actual effect it had on him while also somewhat respecting his boundaries. I mean, he disrespected mine, but yeah, I get it. I haven't told Ted about the letter. I don't think I will either. I did tell B6 and even though he was enraged at first he understood and accepted it and told me it was up to me if I told Ted or not.

That he didn't think it'd do much harm but also wouldn't help anything so that if I felt compelled to tell or show him to wait a while until he was in a better place and that perhaps to run it by his therapist or do it in therapy. Closing thoughts. Christmas has come and gone again and this year I did spend it with my family. My sisters are the best and each of them bought me a pair of shoes to represent my life milestones and they gave me an empty shoebox to represent the pair that I'll have to buy to start this new chapter. It's the most sentimental gift I've ever gotten and I cried most of Christmas morning because of it. I saw Ted for new years. We were both invited to a mutual friends party and we had a great time. We didn't intentionally spend the whole time together but we did often end up in our own conversations.

without being rude to everyone else and just laughing together. When midnight struck I was sitting in the back kind of away from the couples and he sat next to me and put his head on my shoulder and we just stayed in comfortable silence while everyone else rang the new year. It's such a relief to have Ted the friend back. I still love him. I probably always will. I've tried the distance thing, the no-contact,

the sleeping with someone else to get him out of my system and it does not work. I don't know if he is my fated soulmate and will always gravitate towards each other or if it's just the comfort and convenience of being together for so long but I can't help but love him. I love the man he was before and I love the man he is right now and I love the one he was in between and if I'm being honest I'll probably will love the one he will be every day after. I will not give him up even if I have to give up on him. I rather keep him in my life as my friend than keep pushing him away when I'm always happiest when he will be. in my life. I deserve to be happy and he makes me happy. Is that so wrong? I know most of you keep saying that it was a good riddance and that he did me a favor and we should just cut each other off, but I miss him. Maybe it makes me stupid, but hey, at least I will be stupid and happy. If he

asks me to step back I will, but I'm okay with just being happy right now and worrying about the future later. I think both of us deserve that. We both still have a lot of work to do and a lot more healing coming our ways, but for right now things are good and I think we both need good. I think all of us, you guys included, need good. If you've made it this far into my ramblings, thank you for taking the time I wish you all the good things. May you find a $20 in your pocket, may your favorite drink be in stock at the store, may your coffee be made to perfection. But seriously thank you guys for always giving me the space to talk about my life without much judgment, with love and acceptance and understanding. Each and every one of you

is incredible and kind. Please always know that I appreciate you and love each of you independently. Thank you for caring for me. Love. Ellie and Tortilla