Reddit Stories - Betrayed unveiling my wife's double life from secret affairs to divorce battle

Episode Date: May 31, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayal #divorce #secretaffairs #unveiling #doublelifeSummary: A tale of betrayal unfolds as a husband uncovers his wife's secret affairs, leading to a tumultuous divorce battle. Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, betrayal, divorce, secretaffairs, unveiling, doublelife, marriage, infidelity, deception, relationships, heartbreak, drama, cheating, family, secrets, legalbattleBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Found out about my spouse's half-year affair and hidden history of infidelity. Now I am dealing with the possibility of divorce. Hi there, I've been quietly observing this community for some time, seeking support in dealing with unfaithfulness in my relationship. Life Long story short, wife and I have been married eight years, together a few years longer total and have two small kids. This year has been tough, but we have been hard. We have had our arguments but nothing that I would ever think would push my wife to cheat.

Anyways, I noticed her lately being distant and being uncommunicative and decided to confront one evening. At that time, she said that she was not happy and couldn't feel a spark anymore. At first I freaked out on myself thinking I was being a non-attentive husband, truthfully an issue. However, the next day, I caught a very strange message on her phone that was extremely lovie-dovey. I took a look and then found my wife was messaging a man for a long time with lots of I love yous and plans for a future together. Thing destroyed. Anyways, taking the advice of the many threads on here, I didn't confront initially.

I actually read as much as I could, contacted a couple lawyers for advice, one now on retainer, and got my head on straight and calm. I confronted my wife a couple days ago calmly and asked if she was having an affair and after a couple minutes, she admitted everything. Long story short, it's been going on for six months and she claims it's the deepest emotional connection ever. Complete crap, but whatever. To end it all, I gave my list of boundaries, cut off contact, MC, etc.

The thing that I think is the final nail of an honest attempt to reconcile is she got extremely aggravated with cutting off contact especially when I told her to do it in front of me, and even insisted to see him one last time for closure. If I-Fiengi held my ground and told her if he is so important, pack a bag and go live with him to which she backed off, but not before she told me I was a controlling idiot. Anyways, she sent a text this morning and showed me, but my spidey senses seemed to think she will try a different means of communication. I'm thinking there is no hope and I honestly don't want it at this point, but I just wanted

to be able to tell my kids in 20 years I at least tried. We have MC tomorrow, but I'm thinking it's time to file before wasting any time or grief. I'm cautious to move too fast because of my kids, but is this the right way to do it? Update 1. The past few weeks simply put have sucked, but it's given me time for a lot of soul searching and thinking. As an update from the previous thread, the wife and I did attend some counseling after the initial confrontation and I will say this particular counsellor has been very good about listening to both of us and not assigning blame or anything like that and helping to navigate our new reality. She has also helped to uncover some structural issues in our relationship, and while that doesn't at all excuse my wife's

behavior, it's helpful at least knowing for a future relationship and not repeating the same mistakes. As also mentioned in the thread, my wife's initial reaction to my boundary to cut off contact with the AP appeared to go unheeded, and I did catch some small messages between them before she completely went dark with her chat log slash phone. After seeing that, I decided to file and she was served a few days ago, and in parallel I decided to have a heart to heart with my father-in-law as we are super close, and I needed to prioritize this support for our kids versus our relationship, as I could see my wife wanted to sweep this under a rug. Needless to say, my wife was initially extremely upset, her fantasy was blown up, but our therapist did talk it through

with her from my point of view on why this needed to happen, and I think she is starting to realize the consequence of her actions, and start to see there are real things that are going to be lost. From here on out, I'm just trying to process the new life ahead and the huge change in my identity from a husband to something else, same with her. I will say since I filed, my wife was immediately shocked when I dropped that on her. and she has been very emotional these past few days, I honestly think she thought I would never be able to walk away. I have kept her at arm's length, but I have seen a distinct change in her and on a positive note, we have talked more, kept our conversation civil and focused on our shared

priorities, children mostly. I've made it very clear to her that she left a huge wound on me, and that she has to do the heavy lifting to help repair and give me space and time if I can ever begin to forgive. I'll say it again and again, her actions are the most selfish, self-centered horrible thing you could do to a person, but I have not lost sight that we still need to raise our children, and that is my focus point as I navigate how I will move to the next phase of my personal happiness. I wanted to thank everyone for the previous comments and insight. I am honestly proud that I found the strength to not wallow in self-pity, anger or sadness and was able to make the right moves to retain my dignity and look forward to a bright future. I honestly don't know all the

next moves and my feelings are constantly in flux, but I am starting to feel some inner peace. Thank you all again. Update 2, Hi everyone, I recently posted about my experience, and I want to express my sincere gratitude for the replies and DMs. They have been immensely helpful in getting me through this, and I'm happy to say that I'm feeling much better lately. Currently, I am in the post-serving phase and working closely with my counsel. I'm curious if any fellow betrayed spouses here have taken advantage of the affair fog to negotiate better divorce terms, and if so, how did you accomplish it? My soon-to-be ex-wife is clearly deep in the fog and still involved with the affair partner.

For now, I haven't confronted her about it since it seems to serve as a good distraction. I would appreciate any advice on navigating this phase and keeping her off balance. Aside from employing the Grey Rock method and the 180 approach, I've been going out more frequently and being less transparent about my activities. I'm currently in the post-serving phase and still living together due to my desire to spend as much time as possible with my children. I have moved into a separate room, which has helped create some distance. I have been practicing the Grey Rock method with my soon-to-be ex-wife, generally showing disinterest in discussions,

although I do have to fake it a bit, especially when the kids are around. They are still young, but I try to stay positive as they can sense a lot. Additionally, I'm making myself less available in the evenings by going out with friends, working out, and engaging in other activities. Do any of you have further advice on how to handle this situation effectively? It's a delicate balance, as I want to bond with my kids as much as possible. I've made an effort to endure family dinners and such. Are there any other dues and don't you can recommend?

The purpose of this post is not for an update. The process is ongoing, and I will provide an appropriate update when the time is right, which will likely be a while from now. My only request is for those who have gone through a similar process to please share any valuable advice, lessons learned, things you wish you had done differently, or any other insights. The advice given in previous posts has been incredibly helpful, and the support I've received from those who reached out in other ways has been amazing. I'm simply reaching out to see if there's more that can assist me during this time.

Update 3. I have two little ones less than five years old. So far they do not know what is happening in the STBX and I are acting amicable and doing activities with them, mostly separate but once in a while together, and trying to keep them on their normal routine. How did people break the news to them? Was there any short-term or longer-term issues that popped up because of divorce? What worked to keep them emotionally healthy? Despite my anger and frustration at the selfishness of my STBX, we have both acted in a way to not impact them, and so far she has not abandoned or treated them badly by any means, but I do spend more time playing with them and I do see her spending more time on her phone than interacting with them.

We also agreed no bad-mouthing or negative talk in front of them. So far I will say it's going good. The only wild card is when we are separated and AP decides to enter the picture officially, but I will just deal with that when it comes. Any and all advice is great. Those two are my world and dad is eating crap sandwiches for them while trying to move on. Anyways, going through the D process and likely to conclude in the next few months. The STBX is still likely seeing the AP but very discreetly. Prior to initiating the D, their messages were very much revolving about starting a new life together with this particular jack-wagon throwing down marriage proposals, maybe

joking, maybe not at my STBX. Anyways, despite the delusion my STBX is operating in, I could see her moving AP in once we are officially inked and separated. The thought fills me with disgust as we do have two small children, but there are some things I won't be able to control. For those that have gone through this, how did anyone handle having to meet or even look at the AP? I honestly have next to nothing. I want to say to this person ever with the exception of telling them to keep away from kids, likely I will never waste a single molecule of oxygen on him. I know this is not my circus not my monkeys,

and likely this relationship will implode, but still it causes mind movies thinking of the future. Update 4, Hi everyone, as of today, there is some closure coming my way in my saga that started over the summer, and have been posting getting advice from everyone here. I just want to start off and thank this community for the incredible support and advice, especially to those folks who privately messaged and offered words of wisdom along the way.

This is a crappy process to go through especially when close family is far away, it sucks to be alone with your thoughts but there is some wisdom and introspection to gain during this. Anyways, the past few months have been frosty but relatively drama-free as the STBX and I separated our lives in the house but still did things for our children. The discovery and mediation process proceeded pretty quickly. We agreed on 50 to 50 for our kids along with schedules and holidays and since it's a no-fault state, asset division was by the book with some give and take. I won't go into details too much at this time, maybe another post in the future.

But I will be finding a place soon for a fresh start. The final conclusion is on the horizon but for the most part, the D is complete. As for my advice from this whole fiasco, I learned a bunch of things. One, don't bother with a pick-me dance. I tried for a week before wising up to her cheating. My STBX is still in the fog, but it's her decision, she needs to live with it. Two, do lawyer up with an experienced family law attorney who is reasonable. I can't say enough of the person who took care of me, understanding that this is what I want versus reality was important in converging to

the end. I don't have any crazy, ridiculous fees as I did a lot of the prep and avoided hours and hours of back and forth and this was able to be settled rather quickly. Three, do lean on friends and family for support as much as possible. 4. Working out slash exercise is key to keeping your mental health. I hit the weights a month after D-Day and am starting to reap the benefits and that confidence has been helpful to get across the finish line. 5. Get into IC and talk with someone. This has helped me tremendously. 6. I realize this from all the posts I read but the cheater's decisions are all on them.

I heard it all from my STBX was a roommate, I love you slash not in love. Our marriage went so wrong, I work too much. Truth be told now that I know the timeline. Our marriage went wrong after she invited someone in her life that was feeding her lines to stroke her ego and give her extra attention, and she had to put up walls and make me the bad guy to justify this in her mind. Sure, she may have been stressed from kids-slash-day-day life in a long-term marriage, but not communicating to her husband and confiding in a two-time divorcee slash cheater with no moral compass is all on her and a recipe for disaster. The exciting final chapter of AP is yet to be written, but poor choices carry consequences

that is all I will say on the matter. Again, thank you to everyone, I still have a lot of work ahead but also many adventures in this new chapter of my life. I hope I can return the favor to anyone who needs it. Please reach out if anyone needs a helping hand, I am here. Update 5, I'm on the glide path to settle and move on from my situation that started over the summer. Now that things related to the D are off my plate, I thought about my next steps in life. Obviously, kid time is important, but this whole experience has taught me its time to really think about myself. In the past couple months, I took the standard advice to eat better, read and work out. I have started a regular routine and have been feeling good and even detected a hint of something in the STBX.

Are you working out? Don't worry, not taking her back. Anyways, I wanted to ask if any of you guys decided to do something extra like boxing slash crawler. of mega or other type of activity to really ramp up the recovery. I hate to say it, but one of the side effects of this whole issue is making me mentally feel like I was deficient somewhere. I feel like getting and dishing out the punches is the next fire I need to walk through to help me grow.

Any advice and how did it help you mentally move forward? It was informed to me recently my cheating STBX had also cheated on her previous fiancé with a married man. This was a couple years before we were. met. The AP met his fate in an unfortunate fatal car crash. I never knew this until now. Just goes to show the empty hole and a cheater never gets filled. As those of you know who followed my story, I felt tremendous guilt about my role in my marriage, but this revelation hits home nothing I would have done would have changed my fate. Question, to those who are in

the same situation, did you find out your ex had a cheating past? Update 6. I'm one. I'm almost to the six-month mark past divorce and nearly to the year past D-Day. It's been cathartic to post, but I know a lot of folks have followed my journey, commented, messaged, given hope, etc. And like many others, posted along the journey to give the unfortunate new folks here some ray of light that despite the darkness you have stepped in, there is another side. I hope I can continue to help in whatever small way I can to anyone in need. I greatly appreciated the support I got and in kind would always love to return the favor. On that note, six months passed D-Day and there is a lot of positive news. My house is furnished in a home, my kids are

comfortable in the routine and love coming over and have made some neighborhood friends. I am beyond thankful that the little ones manage this process so well and they just understand there is dad time and mom time and no complaints or tears. Outside of them being here, I have immersed myself into a crap ton of home improvements. The house I moved into was occupied by an older, divorced gentleman and some stuff got left to the wayside, but I look at it as an opportunity to make it my own. Along with that, I furnished a home gym in my house with everything I need, and can say I'm getting my workouts and boxing in four times a week, and getting my body back to where it needed to be. Through this whole ordeal, I also went through a major career change

internally to where I work and somehow manage to not mess anything up, but instead have gotten kudos. I've kept my situation private, a raise and plenty of exposure to get my career trajectory moving up. Yes, I still struggle daily with mental health and focus, but I manage it with therapy and workouts and things are getting better. I think less of my ex each day and each small step is a relief. As for her, well, she is still in La La Land, but I can only say we co-parenting. decently well. I gray rock the heck out of her, let's be friends. But keep it strictly to kids and it's been cordial. I'm sure anyone who has followed my story has wondered about the saga of OMB. All I can say is the world's greatest love story hasn't gone live, but my kids made me

aware recently he has been around in a small capacity. I have to laugh a little as it's now six months past D-Day and they are still sneaking around, all great hallmarks of a long lasting, trusting relationship guaranteed to stand the test of time. I've come to terms that whatever is going to happen will happen and at this point, I am lucky to be away from a person that is willing to lie to their most trusted partner's face and not feel an ounce of remorse, and I have a solid chance at building an even better life than before. Good riddance and good luck.

Anyways that is all, and yet another big, thanks to all those that follow in comment slash message slash send rays of hope. I will keep updating and supporting as always. Update 7. I'm six months past divorce judgment and life is going pretty good. The ex-wife decided her life was so terrible that she just had to cheat with the greatest emotional connection of her life and I pieced out of that as quickly as possible. I got my new house, big backyard, 50 to 50 with my kids, working out like a fiend and in general things are proceeding well despite having to see the ex-wife as part of kids' activities. One thing I noticed being a divorced guy. You seem to get the side eye as I call it or where people

view you suspiciously. Whether it be new neighbors, most are cool, a couple are a little cold, people at my kid's school or whatever, it's just an odd feeling you get from people when they know you are divorced. I have no doubt my ex-wife has poisoned the well a little bit at my kids' elementary school, but still I feel like there is some stigma even with new people. As for me, I'll never say I was a perfect husband, but I worked hard for my family, was always there for my kids and am an active dad with them, and definitely my wife's infidelity 100% killed our marriage, never even looked at another woman despite traveling and even feeling somewhat alone in my marriage. Yet I feel like she comes out smelling like a rose. I did make sure to get the story out to friends and

family but the wider net would not know. Anyways, before I blather, has anyone else got this and how did you best deal with it? I'm simply dealing with all this by being kicked crap at dad life, being friendly and humorous with everyone and not being angry and hating life. Just curious how other situations worked out. I made a small update a few weeks back, not so much to report, but I wanted to ask if anyone has had the same experience. I'm coming up to one year past D-Day, I noticed in the past couple weeks like someone removed a battery or two. Life is going well, career is great, house is great, kids, etc., but I'm oddly just exhausted lately. I haven't taken a proper vacation in a long time, and I'm just feeling like I'm running on E.

I am just wondering if anyone else had some odd experiences around this time and what else you may have done to remedy it, besides the obvious. I know I have made some progress all around, but the scars will take a long time to heal. F.Y. I have started to dip my toes into the dating world and I'll just say I may have to start posting those adventures soon too. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Found out my fiancé's secret social account in affair, so I exposed her lies. I, 26M, met my ex-25F in college, but we didn't date right away. We ended up running into each other after graduation and hooking up. She and I had been running in the same circles, but we weren't close by any means in college. After running into her I did admit that I had a bit

of a crush on her at some point, and she told me that she felt the same way. Things were good with us for a while. We had been together for three years when I popped the question and asked her to be my wife. She was beyond excited and told me that she wanted nothing more than to be my wife. We hadn't been living together at the time, she was on a lease with a roommate and she didn't want to abandon her. After our engagement, she slowly started moving things over so she could officially live with me when her lease was up. She spent most of her nights at my apartment anyway, so it made sense. Every now and then she would crash at her apartment

if she was super exhausted from work or if she had to get up extra early. She told me she did that just so she wouldn't disturb me when she got up and did her whole makeup routine to get ready. As much as I wished she was at my apartment, I didn't really mind that much since she was only a few blocks away. What I didn't know at the time was that she was using her old room as a place to film for her only fans.

I didn't even know she had an only fans. She didn't have the best job when I met her, she was making about $16 an hour and she was being worked to the bone. She would constantly be complaining about terrible co-workers, the things she had to do, and how exhausted she was at the end of every day. It took me a little while to notice, but she stopped complaining about all of that. Not only was she not telling me about her work day, she suddenly had all of this money to throw into her. our wedding. She wanted designer dresses, the nicest venue, premium organic food, you name it. I told her I had no idea how we were going to afford her dream wedding, but she just kept telling me that we would figure it out. I found out about her account by complete coincidence.

Realistically, there was probably some algorithm that brought me to this. My girlfriend looked like my dream girl, so most of the pictures I would look at online were of women who looked very similar. I was scrolling through some Twitter comments and I saw one of those ads for an only fan's account nested within them. It wasn't from her account, it was from some bot account that just listed a bunch of different models to get views. I had to do a double take when I scrolled past it to make sure it really was her. I was 100% certain that the woman in the video I saw was my fiancé. Now, there's no shame in having these accounts and making money from them. Honestly, if they can hustle doing that then good for them.

But I wished I would have known that my girlfriend had won herself. I'm a pretty traditional guy and I don't love the idea of other men online seeing my girlfriend completely naked doing God only knows what. Of course, I had to click on the account to see what was happening. I paid $14 for a month subscription so I could see for myself what she was posting. For the most part, it was all stuff she was doing by. herself. I recognized right away that it was in her old apartment. So it finally made sense why she was so hesitant to leave. I didn't like that she was doing this, and at the very least I wished she'd have told me. I thought maybe we could have a conversation about it

and I could convince her to delete it. It wasn't worth throwing away our future. At least I thought that until I saw a collaboration she did with another creator. They were in her room and there was a full video of her having sex with some random man. The more I scrolled, the more content of the two of them that I found. It looked like they had filmed ten videos together and had taken countless photos. All of her subscribers loved it and were asking for more of them together. I scrolled back further, and found another collaboration with the woman that I recognized as her roommate. I was shocked by all of it, but I couldn't look away. I didn't understand why she would open an account without speaking to me about it. And how could she so casually cheat on me on the account?

I couldn't stay at home and see her, so I crashed at my buddy's place and talked to him about it. He helped talk me down and figure out what I should do. We both came up with the idea of ruining her account. I still had my subscription, so we commented on a post pretending to be another hot girl and invited a bunch of her subscribers to watch an Instagram live of us. Of course, a A bunch of them jumped at the opportunity. When I had enough people I explained what happened, telling all of those men that she had cheated on me and kept the entire account a secret. A lot of them didn't like that because she was pretending to be this nice sweetheart when she

spoke to them. They felt like she was lying to them so they cancelled their subscriptions. My fiancé found out and came to confront me at my friend's house when she saw that I wasn't home. We had a huge argument and she tried to explain to me that she said, she was doing it for us so we could have a nice wedding. I just told her that the wedding was off and explained that she needed to get her things out of my apartment. She tried to convince me not to leave her, but I had no interest in being with her after what I'd seen. We ended up

officially breaking up and calling off the wedding. She's continued using her only fans. Apparently, the guy she had collaborated with had a girlfriend who didn't know about the videos they made. She dumped him and posted a video explaining what happened and his account tanked too. I was glad that my video could help her see the truth.