Reddit Stories - Betrayed Wife's Silent DEPARTURE After My INFIDELITY Revealed Years Later

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #infidelity #betrayal #marriage #relationships #confessionSummary: A betrayed wife silently leaves after discovering her husband's infidelity years later. The revelation shatters their marriage, leaving both parties to grapple with the consequences of betrayal and trust lost.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, betrayal, marriage, relationships, confession, infidelity, trust, departure, silent, revealed, husband, wife, consequences, shattered, discovery, yearslaterBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse departed without informing me following my infidelity. A couple of years later, I discovered that she has since remarried and is expecting a child in a different nation. I am a 35-year-old male. Wife 36F. I know, I'm aware of my faults, I know I screwed up. She and I had something beautiful. She is still the love of my life, we were together for 10 years, 2,000.

dating and eight married, but I made a huge mistake and cheated on her. It was just once, just one damn time. Somehow she found out, I never knew how because I haven't been able to talk to her since then. I guess she found something on my phone. I came home that afternoon as usual and everything felt weird, the house felt emptier, I quickly realized that her things were gone. I panicked, I started calling her over and over, but her phone didn't even ring. Suddenly I saw, saw some papers on the table, she was divorcing me. Under the divorce papers, there was a note that said this is what you do with cheaters. That was the last thing I got from her, two years ago now. Of course I called the contact information for her lawyer, who has been the only bridge between us.

But he just told me that he was her legal representative and that she didn't want to see me. I thought, I got angry, but in the end her lawyer just told me that it would be better if I got my own lawyer. I didn't want to, I absolutely refused to accept that 10 years of relationship would end like this. I know I have failed, but I always wanted to fix it. I know that if she gave me the chance, I could make that sweet and special girl I met more than 10 years ago fall in love with me again. I know that I can make her forgive me, after all, many couples go through similar things and get over it. Why can't we be one more couple in that statistic? Why after eight years of marriage am I thrown away like garbage for a mistake?

I don't deserve so much indifference. I haven't been able to see her or even hear her voice in two years. Two years of not being able to see or talk to the person you love the most is too much of a punishment. This situation has destroyed me emotionally, mentally, and even physically. I ended up consuming an unhealthy amount of alcohol, weeks of barely eating, not sleeping. I was a zombie for months, I was just functioning on automatic. I wanted to die, but I couldn't let myself die because I always held on to hope that she would come back. My therapist says it's really hard when you can't get closure from a relationship

because your mind can't process that the relationship is over, so you're always thinking that person will knock on the door or that you'll wake up from sleep and they'll be there by your side. The divorce was finalized over a year ago, I'll be honest, I didn't make it easy, I didn't want to get divorced and I still don't understand how we can be divorced. I asked for couples therapy, but she refused. I know for my lawyer that her lawyer advised her to go at least once or twice. But she refused.

It took quite a while, but finally the divorce happened. I can't even describe the feeling, I felt and still feel, like if a piece of me had been cut out. I know I hurt her, I know I failed, but I think we all deserve a second. chance. When I couldn't take the pain anymore, I decided to start therapy. My therapist doesn't give me advice to get her back. He only focuses on me moving on with my life encouraging me to meet new people and go out on dates, but I don't want to, at this point I'm not even interested in sex anymore. A few days ago something happened that completely shattered me. I was having a few beers with my friend at my house, let's call him Nick, we were both pretty drunk. I started

started talking about my wife. And he said to me you should put more effort into getting over her, she's over you and is happy having a life away from you, you should do the same, you can't live in this self-pity all your life. Something in his words hit me, but not in the way he expected. He spoke with a lot of confidence that my wife is over me and is happy now, how does he know that?

At this point, I got angry and started pressuring him to talk. He refused, I pressed as hard. as I could, I cried, I begged him to tell me if he knew something. I needed to know something about her. Until he finally told me, his wife has been in contact with my wife for the last year. They were great friends and I remember Sabrina, my friend's wife, being very sad about losing contact with my wife. The thing is that my wife went to live in Norway, got married to a guy there and is about seven months pregnant. I felt like dying, I literally felt like dying with this information.

How could she do this to me? How could it be that while I was crying, getting drunk, missing her and wanting to die every day, she was happily on the other side of the world, getting married, fucking and getting pregnant by another guy? How could it be that she didn't have a child with me in many, many years, to the point that I thought she was infertile, but she got pregnant by this new guy so easily? Where did this guy come from? I have no answers for absolutely anything and I feel like I can't go on with my life without these answers.

The only thing I can think of is that she had revenge sex with the first Norwegian guy she came across and got pregnant and decided to keep the baby. Maybe she got married because she wanted to stay in that country legally and I guess like in most countries. Getting married is a good option for that. I don't know, these thoughts are killing me. I refuse to think that she is in love with him. I need to contact her, I need to talk to her, I need to know what's going on, because she acts like our 10-year history and 8-year marriage is nothing to her. I need advice on how to act, I feel the impulse of travel to where she is and look for her, but how could I do that?

I don't know what city she's in, I don't know where she lives, I don't have a number to contact her, she closed her social media, her family is small, they don't live in the same country as, me and all of them blocked me. I'm totally lost. I don't know what to do at this point. I still want her back, yes, even pregnant. I feel like if this is a nightmare and I need to wake up now. Edit, I read almost all the comments and when I say almost all I really mean almost all. It's hard to process all the crap that's been said about me. I feel like you guys forget that you are talking to a person and not an inanimate object.

I thought I might find more empathy by sharing my story here. Just two people feeling empathy towards me and their comment made me feel better. I'm not looking for validation or for anyone to say that what I did is okay. I know it's not and I have to live with that daily. I will try to respond, but of course I'll never be able to respond all the comments over here. I guess none of you know what it's like to have a broken heart and not be able to get over. a person. You don't decide who you love and you don't decide when you get over someone. It will happens when it have two. Those who doubt my story, unfortunately is real, I would love this to be

fake, but sadly it is not and I have to live with this mess every day. Everyone assumes she's happy now. I don't know, I mean how do you know? I haven't seen her in two years, I can't have any idea if she's happier or not. Being pregnant it doesn't necessary means happiness and being married either. We don't really know the circumstances of this marriage. Maybe she got married because she got pregnant and felt alone in a country where she has no one and she just hold on to the other guy. Of course I blame myself for this. This wouldn't have happened if I had been a better person and a better husband to her. But unfortunately I can't change what I did wrong. The only thing I could do is try to make it up to her, but how do you make it up to someone who doesn't want to give you the chance to do so?

Some people said that she doesn't owe me a second chance. That was hard to read, but I understand that maybe she doesn't have two. I never openly blamed her for the infertility issues. It was just a thought. We both went to the doctor and in both cases the tests revealed that everything was fine. I never understood why we couldn't conceive and a thought that she was infertile did cross my mind and of course the idea that I was too. But in most cases of infertility it is due to a female factor. Maybe that's why I thought that.

Horrible things were said like I would hurt my ex-wife if she were here. I never physically hurt her and I never will. I am not an abusive person. I am not a monster. I know it's hard to empathize with me. I know I screwed up. I know I hurt her way beyond what I can say. But I am not a monster or a narcissist.

Some people said that I never loved her otherwise I wouldn't have cheated on her. This statement doesn't seem fair to me. You think you can kidnap the concept of love and tell another person what his real feelings are. You think you are inside my head or heart. Only then would you know what I feel. You can't tell me that I don't love her. There hasn't been a day since she left that I don't regret it. No one can tell me this isn't love.

Lastly, humans are more complex than most people here think. Just because I cheated on her doesn't mean I don't love her or that I don't have feelings. I called what I did a mistake because how else would I call it? I thought part of accepting blame is accepting that was my mistake. But everyone here take those words as if I trying to twist the situation when that's not the case. You've completely twisted my words. I know how much I hurt her. Maybe in my post I'm focusing on myself because I was never able to explain myself to her.

Since then for me it's been one attempt after another to put together a story in my head that doesn't make sense. I lost everything from one moment to the next. I simply try to be open with my feelings, but it doesn't seem to work here. Not for me at least. I know the damage I did to her, this woman left her life, the country she emigrated to, her friends, even her job. No one does that for a breakup unless you're going through some level of absolute pain. I understand that, I can see and feel the pain I put her through and that makes me feel even

more guilty. Honestly, I'm going to respond to some of my own. comments below and then log off for a couple's days until I feel in a better place. Comments, commenter, I want to know who you cheated on her with. That's pretty important information, Oop, it was a radon woman that used to go to the same gym. Nothing important. It didn't mean anything not even for a second. I just was being an idiot. Commenter, you don't seem to have any remorse for cheating, just mentioned she somehow found out so you are not planning on telling her.

It's been two years, you need to accept responsibility for your actions and let go. She's never coming back. There's billions of people out there, just heal and improve yourself with therapy and I'm sure you'll get a second chance with someone else. You're only 35, Oop, I do feel remorse for cheating. I'm a big mess right now, but I do feel remorse. Commenter, you may still be in love she is not at least not with you,oop, so love just fade away. Just like this.

At the end of the day this sometimes makes me feel like if I'm actually more loyal than her to our relationship. Meaning, she left, remarried, got pregnant, looks like if she completely forgot about me and am here setting crying while I drink some wine and respond to some strangers about our relationship. I still love her, but for her was so easy gear over me. Commenter, if only half the people had the self-respect your ex-wife has. Oop, I don't blame her, I understand the pain I caused her. But I also think there are many couples who go through this and move on, especially when it was just one time. I never had a side relationship for months, I didn't cheat on her with multiple women, I didn't get another woman pregnant, I didn't cheat on her with her friend. Cheating is wrong, but are you really going to put me on the same level as a guy who cheated on his wife for years or who cheated on his wife with her sister?

It's not an excuse, but I'm asking for some coherency here. Update, these days have been very strange at times I feel numb and at others desperate. A lot of things have happened. I want to start by answering something and then I will update. Some people asked why Norway? I don't know exactly but she is a polyglot. She speaks six languages. Many of these languages are connected to cultures that she always liked.

Norwegian is just one of the ones. them. She has always been interested in Norwegian culture, she has been there before, but she is also interested in other cultures and speaks other languages so for me that was never an indicator that she might have gone to this country. Regarding the update, the first thing I will say is that the post reached some people in my circle. Sabrina's sister she knows the story and realized it was me. She told Sabrina. Sabrina is angry at Nick for revealing information. Nick is angry at me for post and because he says I pressured him to talk. I am angry at both of them for being 2A.

Holes who watched me suffer for two years and decided not to help me. They didn't care about my marriage, why should I care about their marriage? Sabrina could have given me my ex-wife phone number a long time ago, but she decided to prioritize her friendship with my ex instead of helping two friends mend their marriage. Meanwhile, no one cared about my feelings. I'm done with them at this point. Regarding to my ex-wife, I've been thinking a lot, she can't just disappear.

I convinced myself that if I searched hard enough, I could find something related to her. I follow some of her relatives from a fake Instagram account, but I never found anything related to her. I searched a lot, really a lot, and found a name that I had seen before, but that hadn't caught my attention until then. It was a lady with a name that is not typical in the United States or my wife's country.

She is not American, and a very strange last name. I went to her Instagram profile and she had no pictures or anything just a small profile picture that you can barely see. I decided to look her up on Facebook and found the same lady with the same profile picture. Only her Facebook profile is quite open, she is indeed a lady from normal. I checked everything I could on this profile. I was convinced that it had something to do with my wife. How else would a relative of hers have this woman and their friends? I saw a lot of pictures, people, plants, mountains, gardens, lakes, flowers, typical things that an older lady posts.

Until I came across a picture where my ex was dressed as a bride-hugging a guy. I had to translate the text, the lady was congratulating her son on his wedding. There were a few more pictures, not many, there were even some members of my ex's family in the wedding pictures. The dates of the pictures were from a year ago. A year ago she married this guy. I don't understand, how could it happen so fast? When did she meet him?

I honestly thought she got married after she got pregnant, not before, this baffles me even more. After that I found another picture, it was a group picture and she was far away. but of course I recognized her. The same guy was with his hands on her shoulders, hugging her. This picture was from February 2023. To be clear, she left in May 2022. How is she with someone in February 2023? Only nine months and she's already in a stable enough relationship that he's introduced her to his family.

What the hell is going on here? I feel like I have even more questions in my head now, I know I shouldn't be upset, but I am. I know I lost her because I was an idiot, but it's hard to get this feeling out of my head right now. Anyways for those who had imagined this fantasy that my ex is with some kind of Norwegian Chris Hemsworth. Let me tell you, it's not like that.

This guy is too tall, too blonde, too pale, hair too long and kind of chunky, to be honest. He looks more like the old cartoon of Vikings and is definitely not a Chris Hemsworth. I managed to find his FB profile but he is almost nothing there. His profile says he's an engineer. An engineer who wears metal band T-shirts at 38. I don't know how to take this because I'm an engineer myself just in a different field.

Why would she look for a man with the same profession as me? My wife has always liked heavy metal which I always found nasty but I never complained. After all your partner doesn't have to have the same musical tastes as you. I mentioned this because maybe that was the way they connected, she used to connect easily with people who liked the same type of music. I don't know, but I honestly look at it and think where did she get this guy from? I meant he can definitely do better than this. The pregnancy thing still messes with my head I try not to think about it.

I can't understand it. I'm not infertile like the comments suggest. I've been to the doctor and I know I'm not. But God, it kills me to think that she's going to have another man's child. I don't get it. I feel like this is beyond anything I ever imagined. And no, I'm not going to go to Norway. I'm not going to try to contact her.

I still want to see her and talk to her. But I obviously can't force her to do that. I have too much to deal with right now and too much to talk about. in therapy. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Yeld at my wife for not going to work parties, ran to my mom's house, and came back three days later to find out she's pregnant. Now I'm realizing I might be the problem. Okay context. I am 33M. My wife, 27F, is a sweet and loving person. We've been married for five years and she is really the love of my life and she truly makes me happy, she really does. However, she's been getting mad at me over a very

stupid thing recently, to the point where I wasn't comfortable staying in the same house as her. I own the house. She cooks, I clean. We both work. It's a good system. I work in construction, but it's really a cubical job. We have regular work parties to celebrate big wins and some of us go to bars afterward. These parties are sort of big and all of my co-workers bring their wives. You can see where this is going. After constantly being questioned, I asked my wife to come. She said she didn't want to because after work she's usually exhausted. She's a social worker. I don't buy that excuse because it's just a party for a few hours, and then she can go home when me and my co-workers go to the bar. I said this and she said that it wouldn't be safe for her to go home alone at night. I offered to drop her off,

and she told me to drop it. I went to the party and got pestered. I ended up not going to the bar and came home in a bad mood. Admittedly I shouted a bit, said that it was annoying that I make it look like I'm not married, or that I'm kidnapping you or whatever. She didn't really yell back, and I was hella confused, and then she asked me why I was so bothered. I said it was embarrassing, and then she shook her head, as if mocking me. Here's where I might be in the wrong. I called her an asshole and stormed out to my mother. I don't like going to my mother because she often sides with my wife more than me, and it's stupid. I haven't told her why I was there and told her that I just missed her. So anyway, am I wrong? She hasn't texted me yet, and it only

makes me feel like she doesn't care about me at all. Edit, I am still currently at my mother's house. Honestly, the comments have eaten me up alive, and I actually may be in the wrong about all this. But I do want to give context about the parties, they are a constant thing, like every other Friday-type party. ADP I don't even know what we're celebrating, but they are fun. My co-workers are also really heavy drinkers.

I don't just mean that they ask me questions about my wife like where is she? Sure, it start like that in the beginning, but the questions progressively get worse, and if I tell anyone to back off I am the villain. And yes, I do leave the parties when I get uncomfortable. But when I don't go the parties I get pestered during the day, so what's the point? Finally, my wife has gone to a party of mine once or twice, and it's not like she's said it's not her thing. She's enjoyed them before, so why deny me now? Anyway, I probably am in the wrong for leaving to stay with my mother,

and I just hope she isn't thinking about doing what some of you have said and divorcing me. It really isn't that serious. Comments where Op has replied, Mama underscore Bear underscore 740. You have no idea how emotionally draining and stressful it is being a social worker. She deals with issues on behalf of those that usually can't see. speak for themselves, and she also sees people in deplorable condition, listens to their stories and tries to find them assistance. Your attitude that she works just eight hours is total BS. Those eight hours can feel like eight years. And the thing she has to deal with

aren't something you can easily leave at work. It's not an easy job. If she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to. And she went a couple times just to please you. What the hell more do you want? If you are embarrassed by not having your wife attend a party, that's a you problem. You are wrong for yelling at her, cussing her, pestering her to go, and for running home to hide behind mommy's apron strings. Grow a pair and treat your wife as a man should. Boop, she didn't go just because I wanted her to. When I asked she said yes, and I know she had a good time. It's just that the partiers have gotten more intense lately because of my coworkers.

Flat underscore criticism 6440, a lot of good comments, I just want to say, stop going to the party, at this point, it's just an excuse to drink. Unless you are actually celebrating something, tell them you have things to do with your wife and she is more important than a weekly party. Boop, the parties are a good time though. I do hang out with my wife when I get home if she's not already asleep, but she usually is. That's kind of my point. She's already asleep. so I might as well do something fun while I wait. But at the same time, if she didn't have to go to a party then she would be asleep, so I'm just taking time away from her. I don't know.

I'm obsessively checking the comments because she still hasn't texted me, nor I have her. Wilder Pixie, your mom keeps siding with your wife because your wife is right. What a childish overreaction. WLFWR-T-R, you're wrong. Your wife is a social worker. See that word social. That's what your wife does all day long, socializing. Don't you think she deserves a little quiet time to reset for the next day? Social work can be one of the most mentally draining careers there is. Then she has a husband who can't respect her need for downtime. When he doesn't get his way he goes running home to mommy. How long do you think she'll take before realizing how emotionally

immature you are. Update, August 8, 2024. I didn't know if I should add the update here or make a new post, but here it is, she didn't want to go to the party because she's pregnant. She just didn't know how to tell me. The past three days I stayed at my mom she didn't contact me at all. It really hurt, and I was worried. I came back today and she was in our bedroom. I said hi, she gave me the pregnancy test and left to her friends. I was stunned. Why didn't she just tell me? That would have saved us so much time. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I admit that I was definitely wrong for yelling at her, and it was childish to go to my mom. A lot of you said that she probably sides with my wife because my wife is always right. That might be true. Three days of reflection really

showed me that. I love my wife, and I think I'm ready to be a dad, I don't know. I don't think she'd going to leave me, not with a baby. She needs me still. I wish she would have just said that she was pregnant, and I would have just let it go. In fact, I might have not even gone to that damn party. Edit, my wife has came home today and sat me down. We had a very long talk. About us, about the Baby, about me. I expected this, but she basically said that she felt that sometimes I let my anger blow out, and that I went to my mother way too much. I wish I went on an advice forum too, but I sort of just sat there while she talked,

hoping that she would cool herself down. Seeing her voice the same opinions that you guys had sort of solidified everything in my head. I am a huge asshole, and I really don't deserve my wife. I am not ready for this baby, but my wife has decided to keep it. And, though most of you guys will hate this, she is not divorcing me. A comment mentioned couples therapy, so I kind of just threw it out there when she was done talking. And I guess it was enough to give us a chance still, so next week we're doing that I guess. I'm still on the fence, but Wifi has suggested that I have individual therapy too,

and I just really want this to work out, so I agreed. Not sure when that is happening though. As for the parties, I'm no longer going. Especially now that a baby's on the way, there is no need for a drink. Last thing I need, really. I doubt that it'll go anywhere, but I'm also thinking of getting a new job, somewhere away from I, as you guys put it, alcoholic co-workers. Thank you for the blunt and harsh comments. Who knew that all it took was a bunch of internet strangers to tell me how wrong I was?

was. It almost took my relationship too. Comments, Patters 1079, as others had said she doesn't need you just because she is having a child. There are tons of single mothers out there who say it was 10 times better doing it alone than dealing with their husband's issues. My sister is a single mom and while she struggles financially, she loves the freedom it gives her. She makes the decisions for her and her son. No more dealing with her ex's BS. You need to do some major groveling. I would find a thoughtful pregnancy gift for her. Plan a date night or something special for her.

You need to show her you need her. You messed up big leaving for your mother's house for something so small. Right now she's thinking she is about to have a child with a child. You need to sit down and have a long conversation apologizing for what you did wrong and explained how you won't do it again. I'm sure she's concerned down the line if you have another disagreement when she doesn't do something you want her to do. Is she always going to have that overhead that you'll just leave? And what happens when shit really gets real and there are actual heart issues at hand? Marriage is filled with tons of ups and downs.

You can't just run off like that. Boop, I wish I saw this comment before we had a talk. Thank you so much, I'm going to buy a shitload of gifts as soon. as I can. Thank you. Priscilla 90, she needs me still. So you don't actually care about your wife or her feelings, you think she can't leave you because she needs you. You're in for a rude awakening, your absence likely showed her she doesn't need you at all. Old underscore Beach 2325. What does she need you for? To yell at her. Or better yet, yell at the child. She's a social worker, She's seen the worst of the worst and you yelling at her when she found out she was pregnant could have been eye-opening.

Not knowing is not an excuse. You don't talk to someone you supposedly love like that.