Reddit Stories - Birth MOTHER left me at age two BECAUSE having a child DISRUPTED her

Episode Date: March 21, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #birthmother #abandonment #childhoodtrauma #familydynamics #emotionalimpactSummary: A user shares their experience of being abandoned by their birth mother at the age of two. The decision stemmed from her belief that having a child disrupted her life. This revelation has led to deep emotional scars and questions about identity and belonging throughout their life.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, birthmother, abandonment, childhood, family, emotionaltrauma, identity, belonging, personalstory, lifeexperience, mentalhealth, relationships, healing, support, community, storytellingBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Birth mother left me at age two because having a child disrupted her university experience, so my father raised me solo and now many years later she desires to reconnect. Come back in my life, but I told her I don't have a mom. I am a 16-F, and I am living with my dad who is 100% sole custody of me. He has had custody since I was two. My parents had me when they were quite young, my dad was 18 and mom was 20. and mom couldn't cope with how my existence inconvenienced her education and social life.

She wanted to enjoy university, and my existence got in the way of all of that. Therefore she upsticks and left my dad to raise me by himself. And my dad is the complete opposite and has more worth in one of his pinky fingers than her entire existence. He has been both the mother and the father in my life. He has showered me with the love and affection that I needed. He has been strict with me when needed, and has guided me to be the person that I am today. And he has never missed a day or an opportunity of letting me know how much he loves me. He is my hero, and I doubt that I will ever love anyone else as much as I do my dad.

I am unashamed to admit that I am a daddy's girl. Our life has been very stable, and he has done an amazing job of raising me throughout my childhood and into my teenage years. But now the egg donor, I won't apologize for calling him. her that, because just the thought of calling her mom turns my stomach, is trying to rock the boat. She's contacted me, asking if we could meet up, because she wants to reconnect with me. She gave a sob story about how she spent years regretting her decision of not being in my life, and how she's now at a point in her life, mentally and financially, where she wants to give me

what I am owed from her. She also has two children, seven and five, and she is hopeful that I can develop a relationship with my siblings. This is where I feel that I might have been an awe, because in an outburst of sudden anger it's suddenly being contacted, I told her to F off, and that nothing that she says could convince me to have anything to do with someone who I only consider to be an egg donor and incubator in my life. I thought that I gave up on my anger and resentment towards her a long time ago. But it felt like the damn broke, as I let out all of that anger and resentment that built up all those years ago, as I unleashed all of my pent-up feelings towards her, because the anger that I felt wasn't only for myself and how she abandoned

me. I also felt anger for the hurt, pain and struggles that she caused for my dad. And here she is, trying to reopen those old wounds that both myself and my dad have suffered at her selfish hands. I told her all of that, and how I consider myself to be the child of one parent, as the other one has been dead for most of my life. I'm not ashamed to admit that I took some joy in telling her how much of amazing father and man that my dad is, and that both myself and my dad had a lucky escape getting away from someone who is as narcissistic and toxic as she is. And the only point where I remained somewhat civil was when telling her how I don't want anything to do with her children. Because despite my anger and resentment towards her, those children are blameless and

innocent. And if she tries to use them as an emotional weapon against me or selfishly drags them into all of this, then that would only make me angrier than I already am. I blocked her from all of my socials. Though I know that this won't be over any time soon, and my dad is preparing to lawyer up if she does try and drag this to the courts. But for now I'm going to try and refocus on my GCSE exams, and looking forward to the upcoming trip away with my dad to celebrate the end of my exams. comments where O.P. has replied, commenter one. NTA, really, you did what any sane person would do after years of neglect, and to be honest, you deserve a medal, because it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself, and I hope you find a way to move forward with peace of mind and a renewed

sense of strength. Oh, O.P, thankfully my dad has a big heart, and he has given me the love of two parents' smile I doubt that I'd have the courage to stand up for myself if it wasn't for the way that he's raised me. Commenter to, NTA. She's waited 14 years to contact you, while she's had other kids for what? Seven years? Nah. She could have reached out at any point. The fact that she waited until you're old enough to babysit is suspicious as hell.

You owe her nothing. OOP, she tried reaching out last year, by contacting my dad. He spoke to me at the time about it, asked what I wanted to do, and he respected my decision of not wanting anything to do with her. He gave my response to her, but she's now bypassed him and contacted me directly. Down-voted commenter, I can't stop wondering who told you the reasons for her leaving. If it's not her I would like to hear the reason from her own mouth. O-op, she told me herself as a part of her sob story.

It was always difficult for my dad to give an appropriate response whenever I did ask him why she left us. But he did his very best to tell me in an age-appropriate way. Is there any chances that OOP's dad can ask for child support if her mom is in a better place financially? OOP, my dad isn't struggling for money, and he's been placing money into a fund that I use for uni expenses. And the topic of back payments on child support has come up. But I am reluctant to accept any money from her, as I don't want to give her a reason to believe that she'd now have the right to have a say in my life because we've accepted money from her.

Update, July 6th, 2025. This is an update on a post that I made more than a month ago. She's made a few attempts over the last couple of years to re-enter my life. Her first attempt she tried through my dad, and when he spoke to me about it, I told him that I didn't want to know her. He returned that message her. And the most recent attempt by her occurred the other month. Only this time she bypassed my dad and messaged me directly. I admittedly blew up at her and took a lot of my frustrations out on her.

Eventually, though she respected the fact that I needed to concentrate on my GCSEs and she asked if we could meet up after I was done. I then spent a while trying to figure out what I should do. I spoke to my dad about it and he gave me his full support on whatever my decision would be. In the end, I did agree to meet my mom in a public place and we met up yesterday at a coffee shop. My dad dropped me off and I asked him to stay close by to pick me up when I was done, so he went and did a bit of shopping for our upcoming trip away together. I understand that this is getting to be quite a long ready now, so I will try and keep it as simple as possible. But basically my mom started giving me an emotional story on how she has spent the last 10 plus years regretting not being in my life.

She told me that she was young when she walked out and was really unsure what she wanted in life. I responded that I can understand that she was young and becoming a mom at her age must have been incredibly difficult. But I pointed out that my dad was also young, younger than her in fact. But he stepped up and became a single parent to the detriment of his own future dreams and relationships. So whilst I could sympathize with her, I still couldn't accept it as being a good enough reason. I could see that those words really stung her and whilst I knew that she was being genuine, I still couldn't forgive her for that and I did tell her that. She then informed me that her children, my half-siblings,

would really like to meet their older sister and she showed me their photos and was telling me stories about their life. This honestly felt like a stab to the heart. Because a mom talking about her children, sharing photos of them, etc. is what I spent my life wanting. In the end I had to ask her to stop talking about her children. Because hearing these stories was bringing up the pain of the mom that I always wanted but never had. I also told her that no matter how much she tries, would never see her children as

being my siblings. We didn't grow up together and we don't know each other. They are nothing but strangers to me and no different to the children that I see walking past me in the street. My emotions did get the slight better of me here and my mom did see my agitation growing. I won't bore you with everything that was said. But by the time that we were done with our conversation and we're getting ready to leave, my mom got the wrong assumption thinking that this wouldn't be the last time that we'd meet up. Because she thanked me for giving her this opportunity to spend time with her eldest daughter and how she hopes that we can continue to heal our relationship. I had to stop her there, and this is where I am now second-guessing on whether I was

too harsh. Because I told her that under false illusion does this mean that we will one day have a mother-slash-daughter relationship. I only gave her this time with me so that we could both say what needed to be said for the closure that will allow us to move on from each other. I don't right now and never will I consider her as my mom. Yes, she is the woman who gave birth to me and I will always be thankful to her for how she carried me for nine months and gave birth to me. However, that doesn't mean that I will ever see her as my mom. She began to get rather emotional at this point, but I just had to ignore her so that I could finish what I wanted to say when I told her that I consider myself as

only having one parent, my dad. And before we went our wife, we were. ways whilst she was still trying to get her emotions under check whilst begging me to reconsider giving her a second chance, I felt that I had to be brutally honest when I requested that she doesn't contact me or my dad again. And that if I ever wanted to speak to her again, that I would be the one to reach out to her. I'm not heartless. The pain was honestly eating away at me as I watched my mom getting more and more emotional, and I was struggling to keep my own emotions under control. Because I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I know. I knew. I was not. I was knew that I had to make my message crystal clear to her that I don't want anything to do with her.

Not now or any time in the future. It was only when I met up with my dad and got into the car that I finally broke down and cried hysterically. My dad has given me his full support. He's reassured me that he'll always respect my decision. Whether I want my mom in my life, whether I want to go Elsie or completely remove her from my life. He will always support me and I really appreciate his support. His support has given me reassurances that I've done the right thing. However, whilst speaking to my best friends, they've been conflicted on the matter. They feel that I've been too harsh on my mom and that I should have been more responsive towards repairing a relationship with her. They believe that I should try and give her a second chance otherwise I might one day regret it.

I asked them to change the subject because I didn't want to talk about her anymore. But it did leave me wondering whether I was too harsh on my mom when she was trying to give me a genuine apology for all of her wrongdoings. Because she has accepted full responsibility for what she did and that there is nothing that could excuse what she did 14 years ago, that makes me feel like my friends were right and I was an awed to my mom when we met up. But I am just confused right now. My dad has offered me the chance of seeing a therapist for everything that I've been through, but I am reluctant. I am foolishly hoping that once I've been on this holiday with my dad and when we return home, these events with my mom will be in the distant past. Oh, and to finish off.

In my last post, I had a number of comments telling me that my dad should chase my mom for child support. I did discuss this with my dad, but it's not something that he wants to do. He says that we're fine financially and he doesn't want to deal with the stress of going through the legal system, which can be slow, and end up in a prolonged legal battle with her. He's also got concerns that this would maybe give my mom more of incentive to try and forcibly be more involved in my life. Because she's now invested money into me and that would give her a legal right to having some form of access to me. Next story, brother's girlfriend kept bringing dairy into my house despite my life-threatening allergy that sent me to the ER, so I banned her but then found

out she had been lying to my brother about everything. Background, I have a pretty severe dairy allergy, I break out in hives, struggle to breathe, and have to carry two apy pens with me everywhere. If I get any dairy in my system, I'll end up in the ER. My in-laws know this and have been extremely accommodating since my fiancé and I started dating five years ago. When we moved and together two years ago, we set strict rules for our home because of my allergy. The big one is that no one is allowed to bring anything that contains dairy into our house ever, no matter what. On to the current story, my bill started dating his girlfriend a year and a half ago. They came to visit us together for the first time a year ago. My fiancé made sure my bill explained my allergy to his

girlfriend and are no dairy rule. Two days into their stay, she bought dairy products and cooked lunch for herself when we weren't home. I ended up in the ER because of cross-contamination. She apologized and explained she hadn't understood how serious my allergy was. We managed to put the situation behind us since both my fiancé and I currently have and want to keep a good relationship with my Bill. The two of them came for a second visit nine months ago. We had a video call with Bill and his girlfriend before the trip to make sure she understood the severity of my allergy and how serious we are about the no-dairy rule. During their second trip, I was taking out the trash and found candy bar wrappers and an empty milkshake container in the guest room trash,

the room she was staying in. Even after she saw how serious my allergy is, and how I ended up in the ER, she still brought Derry into our house. I confronted her when they got back. She and Bill had a huge fight. Bill went through her stuff and threw out everything she had with Derry. We kicked out his girlfriend. Bill stayed for the rest of the planned trip. Bill and his girlfriend worked out the relationship after the trip and are still together. Since their second trip, Bill has come alone since I don't trust his girlfriend in our house. Well, Bill is planning a new trip to visit us and his girlfriend wants to come too. At first, we just said no, we don't trust her. But since we know this is important to Bill, we came up with what we believe

is a good compromise. She can come and stay at our place, but we will look through her bags every time she comes back to our place. And if she doesn't accept that she can stay at a hotel or stay home. Now I'm being called an asshole for treating her like a criminal and that checking her bag is an invasion of privacy. So Ida for demanding to go through her bag if she is staying at my house, Update 1, I didn't plan on writing an update, especially not so soon, but a lot has happened in just one day. But first, I want to clear up some misconceptions around their second visit to our home. I did not get sick from Bill's G.F. having candy bars and a milkshake cup in the trash, or some candy bars in her bag. That wasn't the problem. The issue was that while knowing

our no dairy house rule, had not only seen but also been responsible for me going into anaphylaxis shook and had gotten an in-death explanation of my allergy and why it is important to us to keep our home dairy free, she still brought my known allergen into my house, my safe space. That is why we fought with her and kicked her out of our house. On to the update, after the first 500 or so comments telling me I am an idiot for even considering letting this woman, who is a danger to my health, back into my house, I realized I was listening way too much to the part of me who just wanted to keep the peace and was downplaying the seriousness of the past incidents in my mind. I kept thinking the first time she might not have known

how serious my allergy was, and it was an accident, and since I didn't get sick the second time she brought Derry into my home, I was exaggerating how bad it was. I know it sounds insane, but after dealing with people who don't take allergy seriously for years, I've gotten used to apologizing and even downplaying my allergy to others. I sat down with my fiancé and discussed the whole situation. He explained how he also doesn't want Bill's GF back in our home, but since I was willing to give her another chance, and it was my health affected by her previous actions, he felt I should make the final decision. He ended up texting Bill to tell him our original no-answer stand, that he is welcome to stay with us, but she is not allowed in our house.

Especially since she hasn't even apologized for breaking our rule again, after she sent me to the ER the first time they visited, and I'm his family, and my health and well-being. are more important to him than Bill visiting. I wasn't here for this part, but this is what my fiancé told me happened. After he sent that message, Bill called him and they talked. Turns out Bill's G.F. had told him that she reached out after their second trip, that we talked, and I forgave her, but wasn't ready to have her back in my house yet. She has asked him to come with every time he has visited us. Bill always told her no, and that she would only be allowed to come with when I told him I was ready to have her back in my house.

He only asked if she could come since it had been nine months, and as far as he knew, I had forgiven her. According to my fiancé, Bill was extremely apologetic. I haven't had time to talk directly with him yet, but we have planned a video chat to get everything worked out tomorrow. The reason my bill didn't ask me directly about the situation and believed his GF is because he is aware how traumatic and allergic reaction is to me, and that I hate to talk about it after since I cannot stand relive the situation.

If anyone is interested I can post a second update after I talk to my bill tomorrow, and hopefully have a final conclusion to this whole thing. Update 2, so I have talked to my bill. We had a long and emotional conversation. I won't post it all here, since some of the stuff we discussed is personal, but I still wanted to update you guys. To start Bill kept apologizing and saying he should have checked with us, not just believed his GF, or now XGF. He went on to to explain how the reason he wanted to talk with me today instead of yesterday after the call with my fiancé, was because he felt like he had already failed us for believing his GF. We do not agree with this at all, and do not blame him, so he wanted to show he truly is remorseful

of everything that has happened, not just say the words, but show it through actions. After the call with my fiancé, he confronted his ex-X first tried to convince him that I was lying and trying to ruin their relationship. That didn't work, so she tried to manipulate him with tears. Bill explained it as now that he has fully seen all of her crazy behavior, he immediately saw how manipulative she is. A lot more happened, but I won't go into detail, since it isn't my story but my bills. The end result is that he broke up with her. He also told us more that we didn't know, including how they actually broke up after the second time they visited us. He didn't want to be with someone who clearly didn't care about the people in his life by putting

someone in danger. He explained they were broken up for about two months, and only got back together after she sent him a message saying she had reached out to me and we had worked things out because she felt awful, but didn't expect anything from him. Now it is clear that it was just manipulation to get back together with him. More we didn't know is also that Bill hasn't been happy where he currently lives for the last year or so, and one of the reasons he often comes to visit us is because he has been considering moving to our area. So I have a feeling she has been doing all of the crazy stuff and hopes we would blame Bill, and if we were mad or low contact with him, he wouldn't move. More manipulation, I won't put it past her. Bill also sent out a message to their

extended family explaining the whole situation, in case she reaches out to the family, and this way, I won't have to relive the trauma surrounding an allergic reaction to explain what's been going on. I also told Bill and my fiancé about what it is like for me to have a serious allergic reaction for the first time. What it feels like in the absolute horror I go through. That was definitely the hardest part of the conversation for me. Neither my fiancé or I blame Bill. The way I see it, he is a good guy who sees the best in people and who has been manipulated by his ex. He is still more than welcome to stay with us, and with everything he told us about how he has been feeling lately, we are excited to have him stay with us and hopefully be able to help him out with everything

going on. A lot more was said and talked about, but I think these are the important parts for the update. If I have forgotten anything, I will add an edit here. Also, thank you to everyone who commented and helped me with the situation. Hopefully, this is the last part, and we can go back to focusing on our wedding.