Reddit Stories - BROUGHT up and TOOK in my STEPCHILD, but she told me I was

Episode Date: November 16, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #stepchild #parentingwoes #communicationissues #misunderstandingsSummary: I BROUGHT up and TOOK in my STEPCHILD, but she told me I was wrong. Now, we are struggling to understand each other's perspectives and rebuild our relationship.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familyissues, stepfamily, parentingchallenges, communicationbreakdown, misunderstandings, rebuildingrelationships, stepmomlife, blendedfamily, parentingstruggles, generationaldifferences, familyconflict, emotionalbonding, trustbuilding, supportsystem, familytherapyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Brought up and took him my stepchild, but she told me I was too blue collar to escort her at the wedding, so I declined to go to the ceremony altogether, but she called begging me to come to her wedding when her rich bio dad ruined everything. I, 52M, have been married to my wife, Lena, 48F, for 20 years. When I met Lena, she was coming out of an emotionally abusive marriage with her ex-husband Danny. She had a five-year-old daughter Emma from that marriage. Danny was a pretty awful husband and father. He constantly belittled Lena and basically ignored Emma.

He left when Emma was a toddler, and Lena divorced him. By the time I came into the picture, Danny had been out of their lives for a couple of years. From the beginning, I treated Emma as my own. I never pushed her to call me dad, but I was there for her in every way. I read bedtime stories, packed school lunches, helped with homework, went to all her school plays and soccer games, everything. Eventually, Emma started calling me dad on her own. It meant the world to me. I never had biological children, and I loved Emma as if she were my daughter by blood. I officially adopted her when she was 10, with Danny completely MIA and giving up his parental rights without a fight. Things were great as a family,

until Emma hit her mid-teens. When Emma was 16, Danny suddenly reappeared in her life. We were shocked. He contacted Lena out of the blue, saying he wanted to reconnect with his little girl. Apparently, Danny had come into a lot of money and was now wealthy. At first, Lena was very wary and protective, but Emma was curious to meet her biological father. I understood that curiosity, so I didn't want to stand in the way. We allowed a meeting. To our surprise, Danny seemed to have changed on the surface. He was charming, polite, and loaded with cash.

The man who never paid a dime of child support suddenly could buy Emma expensive things, design her clothes, take her to fancy restaurants, etc. I couldn't compete with that kind of fleshy spending. I'm a blue-collar guy, I work as an electrician and make a modest but honest, living. We're comfortable but not wealthy. Over the next few years, I watched Emma get pulled in by Danny's luxury lifestyle. At first, it was small things. Emma would come home gushing about the dinner Danny treated her to or the new iPhone he bought her. Then it escalated, he got her a car for her 17th birthday, took her on a trip to Europe when she graduated high school, etc.

Whenever Danny was in the picture, it was like I became invisible to Emma. She started blowing off plans with me and Lena to spend time with real dad if he was in town. Lena tried to talk to her about how money isn't everything and remind her how Danny treated us in the past, but Emma would get defensive and say Danny had changed and that we were just jealous of his success. It was heartbreaking. From 16 onwards, it felt like I was watching the daughter I raised Drift Away. By the time Emma was in college, Danny generously paid her tuition, of course, she was spending holidays with Danny instead of us half the time. She still lived at home with us during

school breaks, but even then she was often at Danny's penthouse or off on some lavish outing with him. My relationship with her became strained. We never had a big blowout fight or anything, but there was this tension. I felt like an afterthought in her life. She would still call me dad occasionally, but other times she'd pointedly refer to Danny as my dad in conversation. It hurt a lot, but I tried to play it cool. I figured maybe as she matured she'd see through Danny's superficial love bombing and appreciate what we had. I'm much forward to this year. Emma is 25 now and got engaged to her fiancé Ryan. Ryan's family is pretty well off from what I understand, not crazy rich like Danny, but doing good.

We were happy for her and excited to help with the wedding. Since I'm technically Emma's adoptive father and the one who raised her, I always assumed I'd be the one walking her down the aisle. Over the years, we'd even casually talked about it and she'd said, of course, I would. Well, about two weeks before the wedding day, Emma drops a bomb on me and her mom. She tells me she doesn't want me walking her down the aisle. Her excuse was that she's a modern woman and thinks the tradition of giving away the bride is outdated. This was a lie.

I didn't want to force her if she felt strongly about it. So I told her, OK, if you're sure about that, it's your day. She seemed relieved that I didn't make a stink. However, something felt off about her explanation. My gut said she wasn't being honest about the reason. Lena also suspected something was up. A few days later, I found out the real reason. Emma had asked Danny, her biological father, to walk her down the aisle instead.

And she hadn't planned on telling me at all. I learned this accidentally when talking with the wedding planner at a family meeting. The planner made a comment like, so Danny and Emma will enter from here. And I was like, wait, Danny. You mean her father, Danny? turned into an awkward silence. Later, I confronted Emma privately and asked if it was true that she was having Danny give her away. She got defensive at first, then finally admitted it. Her voice and attitude were so cold, it stunned me. She said something along the lines of, well, Danny

is my actual father, and you're, you're not. Plus, let's be real, you're two working class and would look out of place at a high-end wedding. I don't want to be be embarrassed in front of my new in-laws. When I regained my words, I told her that was one of the cruelest things she's ever said to me. Emma just shrugged like it was no big deal and said I was overreacting. That's when I told her, if you think I embarrass you that much, I won't come to the wedding at all. You can have him do the father-daughter stuff, and I'll just stay home. Emma was fine with that. She said I could do whatever I wanted. Lina was furious and told Emma she was being incredibly hurtful, but Emma was adamant that it was her day and we

needed to respect her choices. So two weeks later, the wedding day comes. I stuck to my word and did not attend. Lina was torn, she didn't want to miss her only daughter's wedding, but she was also disgusted with how Emma treated me. In the end, Lena also chose not to go. She told Emma that if the man who raised her wasn't welcome, then as her mother she wasn't going to sit there and pretend everything was okay. We heard later from relatives that Emma was extremely upset when she realized her mom wasn't coming either, but she made her choice. Apparently, the wedding turned into a disaster. Since neither I nor Lena were there, Danny was basically the only parent present from Emma's side. And Danny, being Danny, managed to screw it up. He showed up

to the ceremony already buzzed, I suspect he'd been drinking beforehand. By the reception, he was full on drunk. He made a scene during his toast, slurring and making inappropriate jokes. At one point he got into a heated argument with Ryan's father, possibly over some rude comment Danny made about paying for the wedding. It got so bad that Ryan's parents and some of their relatives left early in anger. I wasn't at the wedding, but I started getting frantic calls that evening. First from one of the bridesmaids, then from Emma herself. Emma was crying on the phone, begging me to come to the reception right now because Danny is ruining everything. She said I needed to come take care of the situation, like I somehow could magically fix what

her bio dad did. She also had the nerve to accuse me of abandoning her on her wedding day, insinuating that none of this would have happened if I had been there. I was furious at that accusation. I told Emma, very bluntly, that this mess was a direct result of her choices. I said, you didn't want me there because I'm embarrassing and not good enough for your fancy in-laws. So deal with the consequences of having your real dad there instead. And then I hung up. I ended up turning my phone off that night because I just didn't want to hear it. Lena and I sat at home, both angry and heartbroken. The next day, we found out for relatives how the wedding wrapped up. Emma did get married to Ryan, but a lot of people

left right after the ceremony because of the drama. Ryan is understandably upset at Emma for insisting Danny be there despite his track record. Apparently Ryan even said to her that if I had been there, none of this would have happened, which ironically is exactly what Emma was saying, but in the sense that I would have kept Danny under control or something. So now there's tension between the newlyweds because Ryan's family is angry and Ryan himself is blaming Emma for the whole situation. Now here we are a week later. Emma has tried to call a few times, but honestly I'm not ready to speak with her. I sent her a message saying I need time and that I meant what I said about her reaping what she sowed. Some of my family, like my brother, who did attend the

wedding, think I should have just gone to support her, arguing that you're her dad, you should have been there no matter what. They believe I could have prevented the train wreck if I was present. I personally think I had every right to sit out after the way she disrespected me. So Reddit, Ida for refusing to attend my stepdaughter's wedding? Comment 1, NTA and frankly your daughter sounds like an ungrateful, entitled brat. She had the audacity to tell you to stay away because you're too working class for her fancy wedding and then expected you to come running to pick up the pieces when her bio dad, who abandoned her for years, inevitably screwed up.

That's some nerve. You raised this girl, you loved her, and she treated you like garbage. You owed her nothing after the way she disrespected you. Honestly, good on you for standing having a backbone. She made her bed, it's about time she faced the consequences. I'll reply, I won't lie, I'm really hurt and angry about what she did. hearing her say those things broke something in me. I appreciate your support.

It's a tough situation because despite it all, she's still my daughter and a part of me cares about her. But I agree, I wasn't about to go fix a mess that I had been deliberately cut out of. She's learning the hard way that actions have consequences. Comment two, definitely entier. You were basically her dad for 20 years, and she completely disrespected and discarded you for a deadbeat who threw money at her. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that.

Quick question, did she ever apologize or try to reach out after the wedding disaster, aside from that crying phone call the day of? Or is she still acting like you're the bad guy? Op reply, no, she hasn't apologized at all so far. The only time I've heard from her was that phone call during the reception where she was upset and kind of tried to blame me for not being there. After that, she went radio silent towards me, and I towards her. No apology, no acknowledgement of what she did. I think she's still too wrapped up in her own feelings to see our side of it. Comment three, I'm leaning toward

NTA, but I have to ask, do you regret not attending at all? Like, I 100% get why you were angry and hurt. What Emma said to you was horrible. But some might argue that as the parent, you could have taken the high road and at least gone to the ceremony for her mother's sake or to prevent exactly this kind of outcome. Do you feel you did the right thing by boycotting, or any second thoughts? I'll reply, honestly, I was too hurt to just put on a smile and act like everything was fine. And she did tell me not to come, I was respecting her wishes, even if those wishes came from a cruel place. Could my presence have kept things calmer? Maybe, maybe not. We'll never know. I do feel I did the

right thing standing my ground, because otherwise I'd be saying it was okay for her to treat me like that. It's a sad situation all around, but I don't really regret refusing to go, given what she said and how she acted. Update 1, it's been about three months since the wedding. I haven't spoken to Emma at all in that time. I was, and still am, very hurt, and she didn't exactly make any effort to apologize after the wedding incident. Lina and I basically went low contact with Emma, we decided to give her space and also protect ourselves from more heartbreak. A few days ago, I got an unexpected phone call from Emma's husband, Ryan. I was surprised, because I've never really talked one-on-one with Ryan outside a polite small talk.

He said he wanted to update me on what's been going on with Emma. According to Ryan, Emma has been struggling with depression since the wedding. Apparently, Ryan's parents, my daughter's in-laws, are refusing to speak to Emma at all. They blame her for the wedding fiasco and are upset that she brought Danny, her bio dad, into their family events. From what Ryan said, his parents think Emma embarrassed their family and they haven't forgiven her. Ouch.

Ryan himself sounded pretty upset, too. He said the whole situation put a lot of strain on their new marriage right from the start. He admitted that he was angry at Emma for a while because she insisted on involving Danny despite knowing his history. He told me he actually had a bad feeling about Danny but went along with it to make Emma happy. Now he regrets not putting his foot down. He's trying to be supportive of Emma because she's his head. his wife, but he also sounded frustrated. I could tell he was torn between defending her and

feeling like she brought this on herself. The thing is, according to Ryan, Emma still doesn't really get it. He told me that when they talk about the wedding disaster, Emma keeps saying that if I had been there, none of it would have happened. He's basically shifting the blame, claiming I abandoned her and that as her real father figure I should have been at her wedding no matter what. I asked Ryan straight up, why are you telling me all this? Is Emma asking for me? He paused and then admitted that Emma has been hinting that she wants to reach out but is afraid I hate her now. Ryan said he personally thinks Emma owes me a big apology, which was nice to hear him say, but he also asked if I would consider talking to her eventually because she's not in a good place. I told him I

appreciate the update and I'm sorry they're going through this, but I'm not ready to talk to Emma yet she's still unable to own up to what she did. Ryan understood. He sounded kind of defeated, to be honest. I genuinely feel bad for the guy, this is not how you want to start married life. So that's where things stand. Emma is basically facing the fallout of her choices.

Her in-laws want nothing to do with her, her husband is struggling to forgive her, and the bi-odad she glorified disappeared after causing the damage. And yet, she still hasn't actually apologized to me or her mom. It's sad and frustrating. I'm still holding my ground for now. I won't lie, part of me aches to just hug my daughter and make her feel better, but I know that we can't even begin to fix this until she truly understands how deeply she hurt us.

Comment one, do you think you would forgive her if she came to you now with a genuine apology? I'll reply, I've thought about that a lot. If she truly understood what she did wrong and gave a heartfelt apology, I would be open to talking. I do love her, that doesn't just disappear, even after everything. But it would take time to rebuild trust. I'm not going to just sweep it under the rug instantly. So yes, there is a path to reconciliation, but it has to start with her acknowledging how badly she hurt us. Without that, any forgiveness would feel hollow.

I'm cautiously we might get there someday, but I'm not going to pretend nothing happened either. Update 2, another six months have passed, around nine months since the wedding. Until yesterday, we still had zero contact with Emma. No calls, no visits, nothing since that disastrous phone conversation on her wedding night. Lena and I have tried to move forward with life. Honestly, it's been a quiet of somber time for us. We miss our daughter, but we're also still very much hurt and disappointed. Well, out of the blue, Emma showed up at our house yesterday evening.

It was completely unannounced. I opened the door and there she was, standing on the porch. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I hadn't seen her in person since before the wedding. She looked, not great. You could tell she'd been through the ringer emotionally. She was visibly nervous and had tears in her eyes as soon as I answered the door. Lena was right behind me.

Emma's first words were, Dad, I'm pregnant. Just like that. I think she expected this news to be a magic ticket to instant reconciliation. Lena gasped and I was just like, okay. I congratulated her softly, but I didn't rush to hug her or invite her in with open arms. I was still frozen, processing that my little girl, who hadn't spoken to me in months, was now going to have a baby. Seeing that I wasn't immediately embracing her, Emma's mood flipped.

She went from anxious to angry very quickly. She started raising her voice, saying things like, I can't believe you're really going to keep this up when I'm trying to tell you something important. Lena told her to calm down and that we were in shock. We invited her in to sit and talk, but Emma was already worked up. She launched into a rant essentially blaming me for everything. She yelled that I abandoned her just like Danny always did

and that I was proving I didn't really love her unconditionally. She said I'd rather hold on to my pride than be there for her and my future grandchild. That accusation really set me off. I've been extremely patient and quiet about my feelings for years, but at that moment I finally let loose. I didn't yell back, but I didn't yell back, but I spoke very firmly. I told Emma that she had no right to come into our home and start making demands or accusing me of not loving her. I reminded her of everything I did for her growing

up, all the rides to school, the bedtime stories, the times I rushed to the ER when she was sick or hurt, the years of supporting her emotionally and financially. I told her how deeply her words and actions surrounding the wedding hurt me and her mother. I said, you shut us out, you lied to me, you insulted me and made me feel like garbage. And now you show up out of nowhere and expect everything to be okay because you're pregnant. That's not how this works. Nina was crying at this point, and Emma just sat there silently, I think she was shocked because I had never spoken to her that sternly in her life. After a moment, Emma muttered something like, I knew it. You really don't care, and got up and stormed out of the house. We tried to get

her to stay and talk it through, but she was already in her car by the time we got to the door. Later that night, we started getting calls slash texts from a few relatives, my sister and an aunt who heard from Emma. Emma apparently told them that she came to us with happy news about the baby and that I rejected her and my grandchild outright. Basically, she painted me as some cold-hearted ogre who told her to get lost, which is a huge exaggeration of what actually happened. Thankfully, I was able to explain the real story to my sister, and she's on our side. But it just sucks that even now Emma is twisting the truth to make me look like the bad guy to others. At this point, I'm emotionally exhausted. It feels like no matter what I do, I'm either the villain

or the doormat. I refuse to be the doormat anymore. I stand by how I handled things yesterday. I didn't scream or call her names, I just finally spoke my truth. If she can't handle hearing the reality of how she treated us, that's on her. I'm not slamming the door forever, I do want to have a relationship with my future grandkid, but I'm done chasing after Emma and begging her to see my side. The next move has to come from her, and it has to be real this time. Update 3. It's now been a year since my last update, roughly a year and a half since the wedding. That has happened, and I wanted to share the final update to this saga.

Lena and I actually took a long trip abroad for a few months, partly to clear our heads from all the family drama. We just got home last week. While we were away, Emma gave birth to her baby girl. We weren't there for the birth, nor were we expecting to be, given the state of things. After our return, Emma reached out to us. For the first time, her time, her tone was different. She asked if we could meet to talk. We agreed, and two days ago we sat down with her and baby, at our house. It was emotional, to say the least. Emma actually broke down crying the moment she saw us. Through tears, she apologized. Not a half-hearted sorry you felt that way kind of thing, but an actual apology for how she treated me and Lena. She said there's

no excuse for the way she behaved. Turns out, Emma has been in therapy for the past several months, which Ryan gently insisted on especially after the baby was born. In therapy, she's been unpacking a lot of issues, particularly her relationship with Danny. She told us that she finally started to see how her fear of abandonment by Danny made her desperate for his approval, to the point that she was willing to overlook all his failings and hurt the people who actually stood by her, me and her mom. She admitted that she'd essentially put Danny on a pedestal once he came back into her life, and she's realized how badly she betrayed our trust and love in the process. Emma also updated us on her current situation. It's not good. As expected, Danny disappeared

again shortly after the baby was born. He made a token visit to the hospital, dropped off an expensive gift for the baby, took a couple photos for social media, and and then ghosted. He's now nowhere to be found, big surprise. On top of that, Ryan's parents are still frosty. Apparently they offered Ryan financial help if he divorced Emma, pretty brutal, but they're that angry over the wedding embarrassment now having a grandchild tied to drama. Ryan hasn't divorced her, he actually seems to be sticking by Emma, but their marriage has been under a lot of stress due to all this. Facing all this, plus becoming a mother, seems to have really humbled Emma. She said becoming a mom made her reflect on how she treated her own parents. She told us,

I kept comparing you to Danny, but now I see who actually acted like a father and who didn't. It was hard for her to say all that, I could tell, but I'm glad she finally gets it, or at least is starting to. We talked for a long time. There were a lot of tears, and a lot of honesty. I didn't sugarcoat how much pain she caused, but I also told her that we love her and that my door was never fully closed. I was just waiting for her to be ready to rebuild trust.

She asked if we would be willing to be in her and the baby's life, and we told her yes, with boundaries. We made it clear that we're not going to jump straight into playing happy family. Trust needs to be rebuilt gradually. She understood and agreed that was fair. Yesterday, I met my granddaughter for the first time. She's absolutely beautiful. I held her, and I won't lie, I had a few tears.

It really hit me that I almost missed out on this child's life because of all the turmoil. I'm a bit optimistic now. Emma has a lot of work to do on herself, but she's making an effort. Ryan also called me separately and apologized for his part. He felt he should have backed me up about the the wedding and not let things get so far. Water under the bridge at this point. So, we're taking it slow. We plan to have Emma and the baby over for dinner once a week and just reconnect in small steps. I'm still a bit guarded, I think that's natural, but I'm hopeful that we can rebuild

our relationship over time. And I'm grateful I get to know my granddaughter. It's been a hell of a ride, but I feel like we're finally in a better place. Thank you to everyone who followed along and offered support. It helped me stay strong and also gave me perspective when I was really low. Here's to hoping things only improve from here on out.