Reddit Stories - Brought up my girls INDEPENDENTLY for two decades FOLLOWING their mother's DESERTION, only

Episode Date: July 19, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #parenting #singleparent #family #relationships #supportSummary: For two decades, I raised my daughters independently after their mother's desertion. It was a challenging journey filled with ups and downs, but I am proud of the strong, independent women they have become.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, parenting, singleparent, family, relationships, support, motherhood, daughters, independence, challenges, journey, proud, women, empowerment, perseverance, growth, strengthBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Brought up my girls independently for two decades following their mother's desertion, only to have them declare I wasn't their biological father when their mother's affluent new spouse proposed adoption. Them. My name is Elias. I'm 54 now, but this whole mess really kicked off a few years back. For close to 30 years, I worked at the same manufacturing plant.

Started at the bottom, ended up in a mid-level spot. My wife, Leona, left when our girls, Amara and Colista, were young. Amara was ten, Callista was seven. Leona, well, she wasn't cut out for quiet family life, I guess. After she left, her visits were all over the place. Sometimes she'd show up full of smiles and big promises, other times we wouldn't hear from her for months. When she did come, it often ended with the girls feeling let down because something she said would happen, didn't. So, it was mostly me raising them. I wasn't perfect, but I was always

there. I wanted them to have a better life than I did, a life with more choices. My own upbringing was pretty working class. Food on the table, roof over our heads, but not much extra. I was determined my girls would have the extras. To make sure they had what they needed, I worked. A lot. My main job at the plant, then side jobs. Fixing things for people, a bit of consulting based on my plant experience. I was pulling 60, sometimes 70 hours a week, year after year. It meant I could send them to a good private school. It meant SAT tutors to get them ready for college.

And then it meant paying for college itself. Amara did a study abroad thing in Spain for a semester. Calista needed help with her first car. I covered it. We didn't live like rich people, not by a long shot. My house is small. I drove the same old truck for 15 years. My work jeans were more patches than original denim sometimes.

But the girls, they never went without. They had what they needed to focus on school, to have a kind of normal childhood, a good start. Things started to change when they were in their early twenties. Leona came back into the picture more often. She'd remarried. Her new husband was a guy named Sterling. He was successful, or at least he looked the part. Had his own business, wore expensive suits, drove a fancy car.

Leona was different with him. More polished, I guess. Sterling made it a point to get involved with Amara and Colista. He got Amara an internship at a company he knew. He had some contacts and got Callista connected with a local agency. At first, I thought, okay, maybe this is good for them. More people looking out for them. But then I started to see a shift.

The girls became distant. Calls got shorter. They were busy a lot, usually with things involving Sterling and Leona. They started talking about Sterling's nice house, the people he knew. My little place, my quiet life, it probably seemed pretty dull in comparison. I remember one weekend, I'd planned a camping trip, something we used to do when they were younger. They both cancelled last minute. Amara said Sterling was taking them to some event. Callista said she had a networking event Sterling had arranged. It stung, sure, but I told myself they were

adults, making their own choices. Then the question started. Small at first. Little comments about genetics, about who they took after. Leona had apparently been filling their heads with stories. One evening, Amara called. She sounded hesitant. She asked if there was anything I hadn't told them about their mother, about the time before the divorce. I asked her what she meant. She said their mother had told them she'd had an affair, a long time ago, before Leona and I split up. And that Leona now believes someone else might be their biological father. I was shocked. Leona and I had our problems, a lot of them, but I never, ever doubted the girls were mine. Sterling, according to Amara, had been part of these talks. He'd apparently mentioned that,

for tax reasons and for estate planning, he could legally adopt them as adults. He said it would solidify their role in the family, meaning his and Leona's new family. Amara and Colista started using phrases I'd never heard from them before. Things like modern family structure and needing emotional closure regarding their true heritage. Leona, during our marriage, had a temper. A bad one. When things didn't go her way, she could get explosive. Screaming, throwing things.

I remember once, when Amara was, was about five, Leona had promised to take her to a special puppet show. The day before, Leona got a call from a friend inviting her to a weekend trip to the city. The puppet show was forgotten. When I tried to talk to her about how disappointed Amara would be, Leona flew into a rage. She accused me of holding her back. Amara was terrified. That was Leona. All drama and broken promises. Her reappearance now, with Sterling, felt like history repeating, but with a new angle. She used to just disappear. Now she was trying to take them with her, in a way.

One specific time when the girls were teenagers, Leona was supposed to take them school shopping. She showed up three hours late, smelling of wine, with half the money she promised she'd bring. When Calista quietly asked if they'd still be able to get the sneakers she wanted, Leona's She yelled that they were ungrateful, that she was sacrificing so much just to see them. She threw the money she had on the kitchen table and stormed out, leaving them in tears. I took them shopping the next day. That was the pattern. Big gestures, then drama, then disappointment. Sterling seemed to smooth over her rough edges, at least in public, but the entitlement was still there, underneath. And she was clearly using him and his money to lower the girls.

The big confrontation happened a few weeks after Amara's phone call. They asked to come over, both of them. They sat on my old couch. Amara did most of the talking at first. Calista just looked at her hands. Amara repeated what Leona had told them. That Leona had an affair around the time Amara was conceived, and then another one before Colista. That Leona was almost certain I wasn't their biological father. She said Leona was very distressed by this revelation and wanted to make things right. Then Cullista piped up. She said Sterling had explained it all, that if he adopted them, it would simplify inheritance.

He apparently told them it was a practical step for their future financial security. Calista said, it's just for legal stuff, Dad. For taxes and things. Amara nodded. It's not personal, Dad. Then she said the words that really twisted the knife. Sterling fits better with our lives now. Mom is happier, and things are looking up for us with his help.

I didn't say much at first. I just listened. My head was spinning. After all the years, all the sacrifices. This is what it came down to. Their mother, who barely raised them, and her new rich husband, telling them I wasn't their father, and them just, accepting it. For practical reasons.

I got up, went to my old filing cabinet, and pulled out a folder. During the divorce, Leona had tried to claim I wasn't Amara's father even back then. Probably to get out of something or cause trouble. We had paternity tests done. For both girls. It was a legal requirement for the custody papers. I had the official documents. Clear as day.

Both Amara and Colista were my biological daughters. I laid the papers on the table in front of them. This was from the divorce, I said. Paternity tests. Legally verified. You are both my daughters. Amara picked up the top sheet, glanced at it, then put it down. Calista didn't even look.

Mom said those old tests might not be accurate, Amara said, her voice flap. She said things are more advanced now. Calista added, softly, Sterling said he'd pay for new tests, if we wanted. But he also said, what's the point? It's about who steps up, right? He's stepping up for us now. The indifference in their eyes. That was the worst part.

It wasn't about truth for them. It was about what they wanted to be true. What was convenient? What Leona and Sterling were selling them. They didn't even argue about the papers. They just dismissed them. It was clear their minds were made up. Or, Leona and Sterling had made them up for them.

Amara actually said, look, Dad, we appreciate everything you did when we were growing up. But we're adults now. We need to think about our future. Mom and Sterling are offering us a different kind of future. I sat there for a long moment after they said their peace. They looked uncomfortable, shifting on the couch, waiting for me to argue, maybe, or to plead.

I didn't. I just felt. Empty. Like something inside me had just switched off. Quietly, I collected the paternity documents from the table. I folded them and put them back in their envelope. I didn't yell. I didn't get dramatic.

What was the point? They'd already made their choice. I looked at them, both my daughters. The girls I'd changed diapers for, taught to ride bikes, sat up with when they were sick. The girls I'd worked my fingers to the bone floor. and then I acted. The next day, I started making calls. First, I ended all financial support. The small allowance I still sent Colista for her supplies, the top-up I gave Amara for her rent in the city. Stopped. Next, I called my insurance company. I removed them for my health insurance plan.

They were adults, they could get their own. Colistas car, the one I'd co-signed the loan for. I contacted the bank and explained I was revoking my co-signature. It took some doing, but it was possible. They'd have to refinance it on their own, or sterling could co-sign. I had set up small emergency savings accounts for each of them years ago. I'd put a little in each month. I closed those accounts and moved the money back to my own savings. Then, I sent them both a text message. The same message to each. It was polite, clear. It said, I have received your decision regarding your family and future.

As you no longer consider me your father, I will no longer be providing for your adult lives. I wish you well. I blocked their numbers for a while after that. I needed space. I didn't hear anything directly. I suppose they were busy building their new lives with Sterling and Leona. A few months passed, I unblocked their numbers during that time.

The silence from their end was total. I just went to work, came home, tried to get used to the quiet. It wasn't easy. Every corner of the house held a memory. But I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Then, slowly, things started to change. Not for me, but for them, from what I gathered indirectly at first. Turns out Sterling wasn't as solid as he looked.

His main business took a big hit. Some deal fell through, I heard. The fancy connections he boasted about, the ones that were supposed to launch Amara's career after her internship, they didn't pan out. Her internship ended, and there was no full-time job offer. Callista's agency, the ones Sterling connected her with, lost its biggest client. Her hours were cut, then cut again. Leona and Sterling, it seems, started prehistory.

pulling back. The emotional support, and more importantly for the girls, the financial support, began to dry up. Suddenly, their different kind of future wasn't looking so bright. The calls and messages started about six months after my text. Just little things at first. Callista sent a text, Hey, Dad, just checking in. Hope you're doing okay. No mention of anything, no apology. Just A feeler. Amara left a voicemail a week later, Hi, Dad, it's me. Was just thinking about you. Give me a call sometime if you want. I didn't reply to either of them. What was there to say? That's where I am now. Asking to talk. After everything they said, everything they did. After choosing Sterling and Leona. After telling me I wasn't their father and that Sterling fit better. Now that Sterling's well is running dry, they're back. So, Wibta, if I tell them there's nothing to talk about. What would you do?

Update 1. Wow. I didn't expect so many replies. Thank you all for taking the time to read my story and share your thoughts. A lot of you sent private messages too, and I appreciate that. It's helped to just lay it all out. Many of you asked for more details about Leona. and why the girls might have been so quick to believe her or go along with the plan.

It's complicated, but Leona has a way of making people believe her, especially when she's emotional. When she's in a full-blown meltdown, she can be very convincing, twisting facts, playing the victim, making grand accusations. She's always been very entitled. If she wants something, she believed she deserves it, no matter the cost to others. I think Sterling, with his money and apparent success, was like a shiny new toy for her, and the girls were part of making that new life perfect. She probably painted me as the boring, stagnant past, and Sterling as the exciting future. Some of you asked if Sterling was overtly malicious. I don't think he was a cackling villain, but he was an enabler for Leona, and he definitely saw an opportunity.

The adoption thing, he likely spun it as being generous, a way to take care of Amara and Callista. He probably didn't think beyond the surface appeal. He probably also underestimated how much I was actually doing for them and how much it would cost him if he truly had to take over. His suggestions about the paternity, the tax benefits, it was all about making it seem logical, practical for the girls. He helped Leona create the narrative that they were upgrading their family.

A few people asked if the girls showed any remorse before things went back, with Sterling. The answer is no. Not a hint. Their calls and texts, when they started again, were casual, as if nothing major had happened. Like they were just testing the waters. No, I'm sorry, no, we messed up. Just hey, Dad. That told me a lot. Reading your comments and thinking it all over, I realized a few things. Many of you said I owed them nothing. Many said I should at least hear them out, if only for my own closure, to see if they understood what they'd done. I wasn't sure about the closure part. I felt like their actions were closure enough. But then a week ago, they showed up at my house. Unannounced. Just rang

the doorbell on a Saturday morning. Both of them. They looked tired. Amara's eyes were red. Calista looked like she hadn't slept in days. Them showing up on my doorstep, looking like that. I decided I would hear what they had to say. So, when they stood there and Amara asked, Dad, can we talk? I didn't answer right away. I just looked at them. Amara looked down.

Calista was chewing her lip. I said, all right. Come in. You have ten minutes. That surprised them. They probably expected a fight or tears, or for me to slam the door. I led them into the living room. The same room where they told me Sterling fit better.

I didn't offer them a seat. I stood, and they stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Amara started. Dad, we. We messed up. Really badly. Calista nodded, her eyes watery. We were so stupid. Amara continued, Mom. She was so convincing. And Sterling, he made everything

sound so good. Like this amazing new life was waiting for us. She looked up at me. I think I wanted to believe it, Dad. I wanted to believe that things could be easy and exciting. A fresh start. So, it was about a fresh start for me, from their actual life. Good to know. Colista then spoke, her voice cracking. I just wanted to feel like I was part of something. Successful. Sterling seemed so successful.

Mom was so happy. I thought. I thought maybe this was my chance to have that. She started to cry. Not loud, sobbing, but tears running down her face. We didn't understand what we were throwing away. Not really. They talked a bit more.

Excuses, mostly. How Leona had pressured them. How Sterling had made promises. How they felt overwhelmed. How things with Leona and Sterling were terrible now. Leona was apparently making their lives hell, blaming them for not being grateful enough when Sterling's money started to tighten. Sterling was distant and uninterested in their problems.

The shiny future had tarnished very much. very quickly. I listened. I didn't interrupt. I didn't offer colistah a tissue. I didn't comfort them. I just listened, my face, I imagine, showing nothing. When they finally wound down, looking at me with hopeful, scared eyes, waiting for my response, I took a breath. This is what I told them. I kept my voice calm and even. So, let me see if I understand. Your mother, a person who abandoned you and broke her promises your entire childhood, told you I wasn't your father. Her new husband, a man you barely knew, offered to adopt you to save on his taxes and make his new family look complete. And you both, my educated adult daughters, decided this was a good plan.

They both flinched. I continued, You say you wanted a fresh start, Amara. A fresh start from what? from the father who worked 70 hours a week to give you everything. Callista, you wanted to be part of something successful. Was my life, my sacrifices for you, not a success in your eyes? Calista started to sob a bit louder. No, Dad, it's not.

We didn't mean. You didn't mean. I cut her off, still calm. What did you mean when you looked at legal proof of your paternity and dismissed it? What did you mean, Amara, when you told me Sterling fits better with your lives now? You were very clear then. Amara tried, Dad, please. We know we were wrong.

We are so, so sorry. Sorry isn't a magic word, I said. It doesn't undo choices. You made your choice. You chose them. You chose their story. You chose their practical reasons over decades. of your actual life with me. You stood in this very room and, in no uncertain terms, disowned me as your

father. I paused. They were both crying now. Good. Let them cry. Their tears didn't move me. You came here today because your new, better life fell apart, I stated. Because Sterling's money is gone, and your mother is being herself. You didn't come here when you still thought Sterling was your ticket to Easy Street. You came here because your safety net with them broke, and you're hoping your old safety net, me, is still here. I looked from one to the other. Well, here's my decision. You are correct. You threw something away. You threw away our relationship. You threw away my trust. You threw away any obligation I had to you as a father, because you willingly chose to believe I wasn't. When you walked out of this house after that conversation,

you became, for all intents and purposes, Leona's daughters. Sterling's stepdaughters. Not mine. So, your ten minutes are up. There is nothing for you here. Not my time, not my money, not my help. Nothing. I pointed to the door. Go back to Leona and Sterling. You chose them. Live with that choice. Don't contact me again. We are done. Amara looked like I'd slapped her. Dad, you can't mean that. We're your daughters. No, Amara, I said, you made it very clear you are not. I have the documents to prove you are biologically mine, but you, yourselves, rejected that. You rejected me. So, no, you are not my daughters in any way that matters anymore. Callista just stood there, shaking, tears streaming down her face, unable to speak.

Amara opened her mouth, then closed it. She saw something in my eyes, I guess. She grabbed Callista's arm, and they left. I watched them walk down the path, get into Callista's car, the one I used to help pay for, and drive away. I closed the door. I didn't feel sadness. I didn't feel anger anymore. I felt. Quiet. Like a storm had finally passed, and the air was clear. It was a harsh thing to say, I know. But it was the truth, as I saw it. They burned the bridge. I just confirmed it was gone. I don't know what they'll do. And frankly, it's not my concern. anymore. As many of you said, I need to live my own life now. Update 2. It's been about a year

since my last update. Life has been. Different. After that last confrontation, I haven't heard a single word from Amara or Callista. They took my words to heart, it seems. Or maybe Leona and Sterling have them on a tighter leash, or they've found some other solution to their problems. I don't know, haven't tried to find out. Some people might think that's cold. But I spent over two decades putting them first. Every decision, every extra shift, every sacrifice was for them. And when they had the chance, they chose to believe the worst, to chase a fantasy, and to discard me because I wasn't shiny enough for their ambitions. The well of my fatherly feeling for them ran dry the day they showed me the paternity papers didn't matter. What I said to them in our last

meeting was just me verbalizing what they had already done. My daily life is simple. I go to work at the plant. I still wear my old jeans. My house is still small, it's peaceful. No more drama. No more worrying about their tuition, their car payments, their emergency funds. No more wondering if they're okay, only to be met with distance or demands. I don't know what's happened with Leona and Sterling. I don't ask, and no one tells me. They live in a different city, and our paths don't cross. I imagine Leona is still Leona. People like her don't change much. Sterling, well, he learned that bailing out Leona and trying to buy a ready-made family isn't as easy as it looks. So, that's it. That's the end of the story, I suppose. There's no big dramatic finish.

they're gone for my life and i'm moving on with mine i'm doing well thank you to everyone who listened and offered their thoughts it helped knowing i wasn't just shouting into the void