Reddit Stories - BYPASSED Destiny_ The UNEXPECTED REJECTION by Elders_

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #destiny #unexpected #rejection #elders #family  Summary: A story about a person facing an unexpected rejection from elders regarding their destiny. The individual struggles with the fallout from this surprising turn of events and seeks advice on how to navigate the situation.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, destiny, rejection, elders, family, advice, support, relationships, community, help, guidance, dilemma, decision, interpersonal, conflict, understandingBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Elders chose my relative instead of me, and I was their secondary option until I declined their proposed path for my life. Now they desire to portray a harmonious family dynamic. I, a 31-year-old male, have resided with my grandparents all my life. My parents passed away when I was little, so my grandparents adopted me. I am a single child, so I was probably going to go into the foster system if I was. they hadn't taken me into their custody. I have always been grateful to them for doing that. I also acknowledged that they sacrificed a lot to raise me. They were pretty old when they took me home.

It wasn't easy for them to raise a small kid, but they still took care of me. They were pretty strict, but I honestly can't complain. I owe my life to them. I don't know where I would have been if they hadn't stepped in and taken me under their wing. I don't remember my parents. I don't remember my parents much, but I am sure I would have reminded them of them, which wouldn't have been easy for them either. They did treat me like their own child, but at the same time, they tried to control my life too. I don't know if that was the idea of parenting that they had or something else, but they always wanted me to do exactly what they wanted. When I was a kid, they would feed me what they thought was best for me. They clothed me and whatever they thought would be good for me.

I never got to have an opinion on anything regarding myself. I wanted so many things growing up, but I was always denied because my opinion didn't matter. I never even tried to argue with them because I was so afraid that they would get rid of me or something, and I wouldn't have any family at all. They weren't the most affectionate people in the world, so I was always sort of scared that they might change their mind someday and I would have to leave. It wasn't like they treated me badly or something. They were just indifferent. I think it was a generational thing.

They weren't comfortable showing too much emotion. They just wanted to raise me, and in raising me, they wanted me to just listen to whatever they were saying. I was never supposed to argue, or they might get mad. I did do it, though. I listened to everything they had to say until I was in high school. I thought that they knew better than me, and I made every decision based on what my grandparents told me. I used to see my cousins play with their toys and have the best superhero clothes, and I used to be filled with envy. But I always told myself that my grandparents knew what they were

doing and if they weren't buying me toys, then it was for my own good. I never thought that something was wrong with their parenting style until I was older and could form an unbiased opinion. They had been controlling me all my life, and I don't know if they were doing that on purpose or if they were just wired that way. It could be a generational thing, but they got so comfortable dictating what I should and shouldn't do with my life that it started to come naturally to them. I didn't think it was a problem when I was a kid, but as I grew up, it started to grate on my nerves that I had to do everything they wanted me to. I still did it, even though I hated myself for it. I still complied with everything they asked or told me to do because I was afraid of ending up alone.

It went like that for as long as I can remember, and before I knew it, I was filling up my college forms. I have always wanted to go to an art college, but of course, my grandparents had different plans. They didn't reason with me or anything. They just demanded that I study whatever they thought was good for me. That was the moment all my rage boiled over. I had been festering in it for so long that it surprised even me when I stood up to them. They were as surprised as me. I had never denied them anything before that, but I needed to take control of my life.

I would have never forgiven myself if I had listened to them in that moment. They wanted me to study economics, and I had no interest in it. I tried to tell them that I was a good artist, but they brushed me off. All my teachers had told me that I could be successful in the art world. I was that good, but nothing was good enough for my grandparents if it wasn't up to their standards. They started to keep me at a distance after I filled out all my college forms. They wanted me to know that I had dictating what I should and shouldn't do with my life that it started to come naturally to them. I didn't think it was a problem when I was a kid,

but as I grew up, it started to grate on my nerves that I had to do everything they wanted me to. I still did it, even though I hated myself for it. I still complied with everything they asked or told me to do because I was afraid of ending up alone. It went like that for as long as I can remember, and before I knew it, I was filling up my college forms. I have always wanted to go to an art college, but of course, my grandparents had different plans. They didn't reason with me or anything. They just demanded that I study whatever they thought was good for me. That was the moment all my rage boiled over.

I had been festering in it for so long that it surprised even me when I stood up to them. They were as surprised as me. I had never denied them anything before that, but I needed to take control of my life. I would have never forgiven myself if I had listened to them in that moment. They wanted me to study economics, and I had no interest in it. I tried to tell them that I was a good artist, but they brushed me off. All my teachers had told me that I could be successful in the art world. I was that good, but nothing was good enough for my grandparents if it wasn't the same.

up to their standards. They started to keep me at a distance after I filled out all my college forms. They wanted me to know that I had made a mistake, so they ignored me for the last days of high school. I was devastated. They were the only parents I knew, and they just cut me out of their lives like it didn't matter. They didn't even attend my graduation. I was the only one there alone. No parents skipped their kids' graduation, and that was the day I really said that they weren't my parents. I had idealized them and thought of them as my parents, but they didn't feel the same way. If they had, they would have kept our differences aside and come to see me graduate. The longer I thought of it, the clearer it became. I was a project for them.

They wanted me to be perfect and listened to everything they told me. They were nice to me when I abided by their rules, but as soon as I made a decision that they didn't agree with, they disappeared from my life. It was the saddest realization I had ever come to, but it was true nonetheless. It took me a long time after that to accept that they didn't love me or care for me like I did for them. My love was unconditional, while theirs came with a list full of conditions. They didn't talk to me after graduation, they didn't talk to me when I left for college, and they certainly didn't talk to me the following days. I got used to it after a while. I was ultimately an orphan, so it wasn't that far-fetched that I wouldn't have any family.

It was just very difficult to finally come to that conclusion after I had lived my life worshipping my grandparents for literally saving my life and giving me a home. They didn't reach out at all after I left for college. I still saw them at family gatherings because my uncles and aunt still invited me. They didn't have any beef with me or my choice of college. I was another family member to them, so they always used to invite me to dinner and stuff. My grandparents didn't like my presence there, but they didn't say anything either. They would usually ignore me or sometimes make small talk like we were strangers. I just hung out with my cousins and used to get out of family gatherings fairly early. I really didn't want anything to make me feel uncomfortable because

of the hostility between my grandparents and me. It went on like that throughout college and graduation. I called and told them when I got my first real job, but they didn't seem very happy about it. I had been working since high school, but I got a high-paying job as an art consultant after graduation, and it was still not good enough for them. It was a huge accomplishment, but I felt sadder than ever after my phone call with my grandparents. I was still kind of holding out hope that one day they might accept me if I was successful enough or earned enough money, but I was wrong. They couldn't care less about me just because I chose to go to college of my own choice instead of theirs. That day, all my hope was killed. I knew for sure that I couldn't

do anything that would make them forgive me. I had stopped calling them after that day because I knew I wasn't wanted. They never reached out on their own, so I didn't hear from them for a long time until one day I got a call. It was my grandmother asking me to come to the house. I initially thought that maybe they wanted to resolve things finally, and the prospect of that was sort of bittersweet. I did want them in my life again, but at the same time, my life was so peaceful in their absence. I felt like a horrible person just thinking about it at the time. When I went to our house, though, I was greeted by every other member of our family. So, it was a family. So, it was a family. gathering. Nonetheless, they had invited me after so long, so there must have been some reason.

After everyone got there, my grandparents told us all that they were going to announce their will to us. I mean, I knew they were getting old, but still, it was like a gut-punched to hear them say that they wanted to be prepared in case something happened. I listened to them intently. I was sure I wasn't going to get anything except for the house, and I honestly didn't want anything except for the house. I needed the house because of the emotional attachment I had to it. All my aunts and uncles had their own homes, so I was confident that I was going to get the house anyway. Both my grandparents knew about my wish to inherit the house, and they had assured me a few times that I would get it when I grew up. After they were done with almost all their will,

they got the house, and they completely blindsided me by giving it to my cousin instead of me. I stood on their shells, not even knowing what to say. All my cousins were looking at me too, because it was common knowledge that I was going to get the house one day. When I gained enough courage to speak, I asked my grandparents what was going on. They simply said that they wanted to give the house to their oldest grandchild, and who was my cousin. I reminded them that they had promised me the house. I had so many memories there. It was the only home I ever knew.

All my parent stuff was in the attic of that house. My mother chose the furniture that was in the dining room. I held all the memories of my parents, even though I never got to know them. It held all the happy memories of my time with my grandparents before it all went sour. I told them that I wanted it, and they told me that they had made their decision. I pleaded with them to let me have it. Then, they said that I could have had it if I had listened to them and chosen a respectable college for my same. They said that I had made a fool of them, so I didn't deserve to have anything of theirs.

I never looked at that house as theirs. It was always ours for me. And then I understood that the oldest grandchild excuse was bullshit. They just wanted to punish me for following my own dreams instead of their dreams for me. I lost a lot of respect for them in that moment. I have always thought that they might not be equipped to be good parents to me because of our age gap. But that day, I thought for the first time that they might not be good people. I left without saying anything further because, really, what was there to say after that?

In the following days, though, sadness gave way to anger. I just thought that if they can't even grant me this one thing that I have always wanted, maybe I don't need them in my life after all. They are perfectly happy without any contact with me, so I needed to move on from them and accept the fact that they are perfect in my mind only. They have made it pretty clear that they don't want anything to do with me, so the only thing that linked me to them was all their bills that I had been paying for a few years. I had been taking care of everything. Food, water, electricity, and medicines, everything got delivered to their doorstep.

They never talked to me about it. They probably thought that one of my uncles was doing it for them. Whatever the reason, I just couldn't be in their lives anymore. It was eating me alive. They were not good for my peace of mind. So, I cancelled all the payments as a first step to truly being separate from them. It took them 18 days to realize that I was the one making all the payments. I assumed they were calling me to talk about it, but when I picked up the call, they were talking to me really politely.

I was confused at first, and then they said that we should be a family again because my absence was not bearable for them. It didn't even take me 30 seconds to realize that they wanted me to pay their bills again. There was no way they wanted me back in their lives. Their egos were way too big for that to happen. I told them that I would rather not be a family again and hung up. Was I wrong for not even listening to them first and assuming that they wanted money? Update 1, it's been a few days after my phone call with my grandparents. I kept wondering if I was too hasty and shutting them down.

Maybe they didn't want me to pay their bills and simply wanted me back in their lives. They didn't try to contact me after that one phone call for a few weeks. I was still mad at them for depriving me of that house just because I took charge of my own life. I still wanted to help them out with their bills and all, and that was the most ridiculous thing. They kicked me to the curb, and I still wanted to help them out. I just couldn't bear the fact that they might be suffering because of me. My grandfather received a generous pension after his retirement, so it wasn't like they didn't have any money, but I just wanted to be there for them in their old age. When they didn't contact me for weeks, I started to think that maybe I should call them and apologize.

I honestly didn't know what I did wrong, but it was keeping me awake at night. The fact that I might be the reason our relationship would never be the same was eating me alive. I didn't call them though. They did after a month or so. My grandmother called me and started assuming I was heartless and selfish. I had never heard her say such cold and mean things to me, and it immediately brought tears to my eyes. I asked her what I did, and she scoffed and said that I stopped paying their bills because they wouldn't give me the house. I told her that I was sorry and that if they wanted, I could start paying their bills again.

She told me that they didn't need anything from me, and she was calling to let me know how ungrateful I was and that they failed at race. me. She was saying such horrible things to me, and all I could do was listen and cry. I have never been more alone than I was at that moment. Update 2 so a couple of months have passed since my altercation with my grandmother, and I finally went to therapy. I have been almost depressed since everything happened, and my friends have been pushing me to try therapy, but I have been putting it off. After two whole months of feeling sorry for myself, I finally decided to give it a try, and it really helped. I learned a lot of things that I might have done unconsciously my whole life. My therapist told me that I had been clinging to my grandparents

because I felt like I owed them something. She was right, I did feel like it. I felt like I owed them my life, so I kept going back to them even if they were hurting me emotionally. She assured me that it was their fault, not mine. Children are not supposed to feel like they owe something to their parents because they raised them. That's when I realized that I hadn't done anything out of my love for them. I did everything they told me when I was a kid because I was scared they would get rid of me. Then, when I grew up, I did everything for them to pay off the debt of raising me. It was like a door opened in my mind, and I could see everything clearly. It was heartbreaking to realize that I didn't mean that much to them. I have been worshipping them for saving me and making me what I am today.

But in reality, they were the ones who messed me up. I was an insecure person. I was always clinging to someone for love. I was always begging other people to not leave me because they put all those fears in me. They were bad parents to me, and they punished me for realizing that after so many years. Update 3, I finally gathered enough courage to face my grandparents. They have been a constant presence in my life, even when they weren't physically there. I don't think they could say the same.

I decided to talk to them face to face instead of calling. All my other family members were still inviting me to a gathering, but I haven't been to one since my grandparents announced their will. They have been worried about me, and I was getting calls from them to check in. They never took sides, and I was grateful for that. I could have easily chosen my grandparents and forgotten all about me, but it was heartwarming that they cared for me as well. So, the next time my aunt invited me, I went there.

It was surprising for every one of them since I hadn't shown up for a while, but my grandparents' faces were frozen in shock. They probably thought they never had to see me again. I didn't want to see them either. I just wanted closure, and I won't be able to get it if I don't face them head on and tell them what they did to me. They needed to get off their high horse and see what mistakes they made. I told my family that I wouldn't stay for long and that I just wanted to have a conversation with my grandparents. My grandparents, on the other hand, didn't want to go anywhere private with me. Instead, they asked that I say my peace in front of everyone.

So, that's what I did. I told them that they were terrible caretakers for me. They made me feel like I wasn't good enough. I was constantly scared that they were going to abandon me if I stepped out of line even once. They made me feel like I owed them for giving me a home. They listened to me intently for a while, and then they burst too. They told me that I did owe them because if it wasn't for them, I would have been a homeless orphan. They said that I should be thankful that they decided to take me home and not leave me like astray.

It was all so horrible. The language they were using was so awful that it made a couple of ants cry. They said that they gave everything to me, and I still defied them. They told me that they had dreams for me, and I refused to follow through with them like the ungrateful brat that I was. My cousins jumped in at that point and told our grandparents to basically shut up. I honestly couldn't say anything because I hadn't expected this level of hostility from them, but my cousins had my back. When I could talk again, I told them firmly that they were nothing to me anymore. Their love was so conditional that it wasn't love anymore.

They can't control my whole life and expect me to be okay with it. They didn't say anything after that, so I said whatever I wanted to and left with the promise of never seeing them again. Update 4, hi, guys. I went into isolation after my fight with my grandparents a few months ago. True to my promise, I hadn't reached out, and I wasn't planning to ever. My uncles, aunts and cousins reached out to me, but I just texted them to let them know that I was okay. It took me eight whole weeks to finally go out with my cousins. They had been badgering me to come hang out with them. They told me that they weren't going to talk to our grandparents

after what they said and did to me. I was grateful for their support. I finally hung out with them, and it was pretty great to have family who didn't want anything from you. They just wanted to be with me without any conditions, and it sort of felt foreign. I am still getting used to that feeling and trusting other family members to not take advantage of me. My oldest cousin did tell me that the house was mine if I wanted it, but I refused. I got movers to get my parents stuff from there, but I didn't want the house anymore. When I thought about it, it held bad memories for me now. My grandparents were not my parents, however much I wanted them to be.

They just weren't, and there was no reason for me to hold on to that house that reminded me of them. I didn't want to be reminded of them. I was finally happy after not having them in my life. My therapist saw a huge difference in my behavior and was happy with my progress too. I was getting better every day and breaking all the metaphorical chains that they put around my ankles.