Reddit Stories - Child deceived during legal PROCEEDINGS to support my former spouse in OBTAINING GUARDIANSHIP

Episode Date: July 4, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #legalproceedings #guardianship #deception #familycourt #custodybattleSummary: A child was deceived during legal proceedings to support the former spouse in obtaining guardianship. The deception occurred in a custody battle in family court, raising ethical concerns about manipulating a child's testimony for personal gain.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, legalproceedings, guardianship, deception, familycourt, custodybattle, ethicalconcerns, childtestimony, personalgain, manipulation, support, former spouse, custody, courtcase, legalissues, familylawBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Child deceived during legal proceedings to support my former spouse in obtaining guardianship of our children and now, half a decade later, she expresses regret and seeks to rectify the situation upon discovering her mother's actions. Manipulated her. I'm a 45-year-old man who has been divorced for five years from my ex-wife Sarah, 43. After our divorce was finalized, Sarah was granted primary custody of our three children, despite the fact that she had been unfaithful to me during our marriage.

I strongly believe, and have believed from the beginning, that she only fought for full custody to secure child support payments from me. This wasn't about the children's well-being or what was best for them in the long run. She knew she couldn't rely on alimony since I had clear evidence of her infidelity with my former best friend, Thomas. The documentation I had gathered from a shared laptop we used would have made it impossible for her to secure. ongoing financial support through that avenue. Rather than fighting a battle she might lose in the Alamony Department, Sarah cleverly manipulated our oldest daughter Maya into believing I was the villain of our family story. Maya was 15 at the time of the proceedings, which made her old enough

to have her preferences considered in family court. Completely disregarding the years I had devoted to being a good father to her, Maya testified against me, claiming I had anger management issues that made me dangerous to her and her siblings, and that it would be in everyone's best interest if I had limited access to them. These claims were entirely fabricated, but coming from my own daughter, they carried significant weight in the courtroom. The court took Maya's testimony very seriously, as I had feared they would, and awarded Sarah primary custody. I was initially given only supervised visitation rights and mandatory counseling, after which I was allowed unsupervised visits.

These supervised visits were humiliating for me, having to interact with my own children while being watched by a court-appointed supervisor, as if I were some kind of threat. During these visits, I typically only saw my two younger children, Noah, who was eight at the time, and Emma, who was six. They were the only ones who seemed genuinely upset by my absence and happy whenever I came to visit. Even after the supervision requirement was lifted, Maya continued to avoid these visits entirely.

Now, Noah is 13 and Emma is 11. Recently, during our regular weekend visits, they've been telling me that Sarah and Maya have been arguing frequently over the past few months. According to them, the arguments have been getting increasingly intense. Maya is 20 now and whenever she visits home during her university breaks, she appears unusually stressed. The children have mentioned that she often looks upset and retreats to her room after these arguments. I found this surprising since Maya had always been Sarah's favorite child. After the divorce was finalized, Maya completely stopped talking to me and never explained

why she lied in her testimony, causing me to lose custody of my children. I always suspect that Sarah had manipulated her, but I never learned the specific details of what had transpired between them. Last weekend, I went to Sarah and Thomas's house, yes, they got married after our divorce, to pick up Noah and Emma for our usual weekend together. I typically wait in the driveway and the children come out to meet me, to avoid any unnecessary interaction with Sarah or Thomas. To my surprise, Maya came out with them. This was completely out of character for her, as she normally avoids me entirely,

even going so far as to retreat to her room when I arrived to pick up her siblings. She approached my car and told me she really needed to talk to me about something important. Her demeanor was serious, and I could tell she was nervous. I was shocked by this sudden change in behavior but immediately brushed her off, telling her I had no interest in talking to her about anything. Even though five years had passed, and she is my daughter, I've never been able to forgive or forget what I went through because of her false testimony. The pain of having my character assassinated by my own child in court was something I

couldn't simply move past. I left with Noah and Emma as quickly as possible, spent the weekend with them doing our usual activities, and when I returned them home, Maya tried to talk to me again. I ignored her completely and left promptly, not wanting to engage in what I assumed would be a conversation that would only reopen old wounds. After that encounter, Maya began calling me repeatedly, which she had never done in all these years. In fact, I still had the same phone number from before the divorce, and she had never once used it to reach out to me. She started sending text messages saying she urgently needed to speak with me about an important matter. Two days ago, I finally gave in after receiving multiple messages daily. It was clear there was something serious

she needed to discuss, so I agreed to meet her at my house, mainly out of curiosity about what could possibly be so urgent after years of silence. She arrived that evening, exactly at the time we had agreed upon, and as soon as she stepped inside, she began apologizing profusely. She told me she had misunderstood me completely and had made the worst mistake of her life by testifying against me in court. She seemed genuinely remorseful, which took me by surprise. Confused by this sudden change of heart after so many years, I asked her to explain what had led to her testimony in the first place, and what had changed her perspective so dramatically now. For context, I didn't discover Sarah's affair with Thomas until after she had filed for divorce.

She presented me with the papers, confessed to the affair as if it were a minor detail, and acted as though the decision was already finalized. I initially tried to salvage our marriage and told her I was willing to work through it for the sake of our family, but she insisted that she wanted to build a life with Thomas. After a few days of feeling devastated by the collapse of my marriage, anger and humiliation took over, and I decided to fight for everything in the divorce. However, I tried to keep our children out of it, believing that they shouldn't suffer more than necessary from their parents' problems.

I just wanted to keep my assets, the house, and everything we had built together during our marriage. I felt entitled to these things, given the circumstances of our separation. Sarah wasn't pleased with this arrangement, as she realized she'd be left with very little, especially since Thomas was struggling professionally at that time. His business ventures had not been successful, and he was between jobs. That's when the custody battle began in earnest, she recognized that child support was the only way to secure money for me on an ongoing basis. Since our younger children were too young to influence the court's decision significantly,

she focused on manipulating Maya by lying about numerous things to make me look like the villain of our family drama. According to Maya, Sarah convinced her that I had forced her to abandon her medical school education when she became pregnant with Maya. This was entirely false, Sarah had chosen to leave medical school of her own accord, deciding that the stress was too much for her during pregnancy. She claimed I had pressured her to be a stay-at-home mom after Maya was born and we got married, when in reality, it had been a mutual decision based on what we thought was best for our family at the time. Sarah also told Maya that I had treated her like her only purpose was to have children, demanding she give me at least three kids, and supposedly planning

for a fourth. Another complete fabrication, we had both wanted children, and each pregnancy was planned and agreed upon by both of us. Sarah convinced Maya that I only cared about her when she was pregnant with my children but otherwise never showed any interest in her well-being or dreams. She claimed this neglect had driven her to seek comfort with Thomas, who supposedly showed genuine interest in her as a person rather than just as a mother. She persuaded Maya that I was the antagonist in their love story and that I was planning to cheat Sarah out of everything she deserved in the divorce. Child support, she said, was the only way to get anything for me, painting me as someone who would leave her destitute out of spite.

Maya believed every word without questioning any of it, simply because it came from her mother, with whom she had always been close. So she testified against me, repeating the lies her mother had told her as if they were established facts. Thomas and Sarah also convinced her to cut contact with all grandparents because they opposed what the couple had done, and they didn't want Maya to learn the truth about me from other family members

who knew the real story. She never questioned them once, accepting their narrative completely. Recently, however, Maya reconnected with her maternal grandparents after her grandmother had a heart attack. Sarah and Thomas were visibly upset about this reconnection because my former in-laws decided to reveal old truths to Maya. They encouraged her to talk to me directly to discover the truth for herself, rather than continuing to rely on the one-sided story she had been told. According to Maya, that's what she and her mother had been arguing about for months, with Sarah trying to prevent Maya from contacting me, which only increased Maya's suspicions. At 20, she's not as naive as she was at 15, and her mother's desperate attempts to keep her away from me and her grandparents had begun to seem suspicious rather than protective. Maya has recently become convinced that she was used by her mother as a pawn in our divorce, and she wanted to talk to me about potentially suing Sarah for the damage.

she caused to our relationship and to my relationship with my other children. As soon as she mentioned this idea, I immediately rejected it. I told her I didn't want to get involved in any more legal battles, I'd had enough legal drama to last a lifetime. The thought of going back to court, facing lawyers, judges, and the entire system again filled me with dread. She insisted, saying that she had robbed us of years of our father-daughter relationship, that her mother deserved consequences for her manipulative behavior, and maybe she did, but I had zero interest in returning to court. It would be a waste of my time and resources, not to mention emotionally draining. Now that Maya knows the truth and I've moved on with my life, building a new routine

and stability, the only thing I might consider is asking Sarah to modify our custody arrangements so Noah and Emma could spend more time with me. Beyond that, I want to avoid any legal confrontation. It's not about fear, it's about practicality and preserving the peace I've managed to find after years of turmoil. But Maya kept pushing the issue, becoming increasingly passionate about the need for justice and accountability. Eventually, I lost my patience with her persistence. I told her I understood she felt guilty about what happened, but truthfully, she had allowed herself to be manipulated even though she knew, deep down, that I wasn't the kind of man her mother described. She had spent 15 years with me before the divorce and had direct experience

of my character and behavior. She wanted to be her mother's hero back then, and now she wanted to be mine. I told her to stop interfering in matters that weren't her concern anymore, given that she's 20 years old now. There's no custody arrangement preventing her from spending time with me and making amends for her past actions. As for her siblings, I would handle that situation myself through appropriate channels, but she needed to stop pressuring me to do something I had no interest in doing just because she felt guilty about her role in the past. She appeared shocked by my harsh tone and rudeness. She left without saying much and hasn't contacted me since that confrontation. Now I'm wondering if I was too severe with her,

if my lingering resentment caused me to reject a genuine attempt at reconciliation too harshly. Am I the jerk for telling my daughter to stop meddling in trying to. to play the hero in every situation? Update 1 After posting my story and reading through the comments, I realized I haven't been in proper contact with my former in-laws for many years, so I had no idea they were still trying to encourage Maya to reach out to me. I recently spoke with them to ask about what exactly they had told Maya,

and they confirmed they had indeed encouraged her to contact me. They explained they hadn't informed me of this because they didn't want to raise my hopes unnecessarily in case she decided not to reach out after all. They knew how painful the estrangement had been for me and didn't want to add to that pain if their efforts proved unsuccessful. I expressed my gratitude for their intervention and support. They had also testified on my behalf during the custody hearing along with my parents, which had created an awkward dynamic in our relationship, but we had maintained some contact over the years despite the complications. However, due to my intense work schedule lately, I hadn't spoken with them in months.

We had drifted apart somewhat, not due to any conflict but simply the natural distance that sometimes develops when people aren't actively in each other's lives. I'm thankful they thought to intervene this way because Maya has finally discovered the truth about her mother, thanks to them. This means I can now file for shared custody of Noah and Emma, which is significant progress, and I'm extremely grateful for their role in making this possible. Before I continue my update, I want to clarify something important about my previous custody efforts. I have attempted to obtain shared custody of my younger children in the years following the divorce.

I tried twice through formal legal channels, but Sarah fought vigorously against any changes because she knew the younger children were her only claim to child support payments from me, since Maya was already an adult by then. I hate to admit it, but she and her lawyer were quite effective at portraying me negatively to the court, leveraging Maya's previous testimony against me and suggesting that nothing had changed regarding my supposedly volatile temperament. I was advised by my own lawyer to wait and build a stronger case before trying again. For the past three years, I decided to wait rather than waste my time, energy, and resources

on what seemed like a losing battle given the precedent already established. It's complicated and goes deeper than I've explained, but I assure you I tried my best within the constraints I was facing. Now for the update, I decided to speak with Maya after all and resolve our issues because after reflecting for several days, I realized the universe was giving me a second chance to reconnect with the daughter I had lost to Sarah. I couldn't deny that after Maya was born, my demanding career left me with little time for her, and it was primarily Sarah who spent days and nights caring for her. I wasn't completely absent from her life, but naturally, having spent more time with her mother, Maya developed a closer bond with her. As I mentioned in my original post, Maya was Sarah's favorite child, and they had always shared a special connection that sometimes made me feel like an outsider in their relationship.

I tried to put myself in Maya's position, and I realized it would have been difficult for me to doubt my own mother as well, given how close they were. She made a mistake at 15, a significant one with lasting consequences, and she continued to believe her mother until recently. That's something she'll have to live with for the rest of her life. She chose to lie about me and harm my relationship with her siblings for years, and that will also stay with her forever. These aren't small transgressions that can be easily forgotten or dismissed. But the fact that she acknowledged her mistake and approached me to make amends counts for something significant. After much consideration and internal debate, I decided to at least talk to her instead of dismissing her apology outright, so earlier today I called her and said I was willing to speak with her again. If she wanted to resolve things and begin rebuilding our relationship, she could come to my house that evening so we could have a proper face-to-face conversation.

Unfortunately, she had already returned to university in another state, but we agreed to have a video call so we could at least discuss things temporarily until she could visit her. in person. That evening, we connected via video, and after brief awkward greetings, we got down to business. Neither of us seemed to know quite how to act after so many years of estrangement, but we both recognized the importance of addressing the issues directly. I expressed my deep disappointment that for five years, she never once questioned the stories her mother had told her, never attempted to verify them with me or with other family members who knew the truth. I also told her that considering how I had always treated her with love, affection, and respect since she was a child, I found it absurd that she had chosen to lie for her mother without giving me any opportunity to defend

myself. No matter how hard I tried to move past it, it would be impossible for me to forget what happened and pretend everything was fine. That was something she would have to accept as we moved forward, that forgiveness might be possible but forgetting was not. She acknowledged this reality and admitted there was nothing she could do to change the past or undo the harm she had caused. She had made numerous mistakes and never questioned herself or her mother's narrative because she was convinced her mother would never lie to her about something so important. She truly believed I was skillfully hiding my true nature from everyone except her mother, who supposedly knew the real me.

Now that she realized how severely she had misjudged the situation, she desperately wanted to make amends in whatever way possible. Even if I didn't want to pursue legal action against her mother, she hoped I would at least give her a second chance to prove herself as a better daughter than before. She accepted that some of these actions would haunt her for the rest of her life, and she couldn't reasonably expect me to forget the trauma and heartache she had caused, but she was asking for a chance to repair some of the damage and rebuild our relationship gradually, on whatever terms I was comfortable with.

After our lengthy discussion, I told her I still needed time because this was all very very sudden and unexpected, and I needed space to process everything that had happened and everything she had told me. She agreed without hesitation and said I could take all the time I needed, reiterating how deeply sorry she was for what she had done and the pain she had caused. Despite her efforts to remain composed throughout our conversation, she eventually broke down in tears, as did I. The emotional weight of everything that had been lost was overwhelming for both of us. Ultimately, I'm glad we had this conversation because we were able to address many issues openly and honestly, which is the only way to move forward from the mess Sarah created.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to fully forgive her and put this behind us completely, but it's worth trying for both our sakes. Update 2. It's been a few days since my last update, and after speaking with Maya, I decided to talk to Sarah about modifying our custody arrangements so that Noah and Emma could spend more time with me. I had been planning to address this issue this year anyway regardless of Maya's reappearance in my life, and the perfect opportunity had presented itself now that I had additional leverage. I contacted Sarah and told her we needed to discuss the custody arrangement seriously. As I expected, she tried to avoid the conversation immediately, claiming she was busy for the next several weeks with work and other

obligations. Obviously, she was stalling and hoping I would drop the matter as I had in previous years, so I informed her that Maya had already spoken to me at length, and if she didn't want me to take her to court and sue her for her actions and manipulation, she should meet with me to modify the custody arrangement legally. I also told her I wanted her to stop receiving child support payments for me since I knew she and Thomas had recently started a business together. so they weren't struggling financially anymore as they had claimed to be for years. I also demanded that she returned the money she had taken for me under false pretenses, however she could manage it financially, or else I would take her to court with Maya's support,

as Maya was now prepared to testify in my favor and reveal the entire truth about what had happened. I gave her a clear choice, either cooperate without facing legal consequences, which I preferred to avoid for everyone's sake, or face a more difficult path through the entirely her decision which route we would take. With Maya on my side now, I felt confident in a way I hadn't before and didn't care what Sarah thought of my ultimatum or how she might characterize it to others. I believed I had earned the right to stand firm after everything she had put me through for so many years.

She became silent on the other end of the line and said she needed time to think about it and consult with Thomas. Her tone had noticeably changed, lacking her usual attitude and confidence. when dealing with me, which was exactly what I wanted to hear after so long. I gave her until the end of the week to make a decision but warned her that if I didn't receive an answer by then, I would consult my lawyer immediately, and she might lose even more if we pursued the legal route with Maya's testimony supporting my case. She became upset and accused me of blackmail, but I told her I didn't care what she called it at this point. I had spent years

trying to stay out of this mess, trying to maintain peace and stability for the children's sake, but now I was determined to reclaim my money, my life, and most importantly, my rightful place in my children's lives. Regardless of what I had to do, whether it meant pressuring her or taking her to court. Until recently, I had felt differently about this confrontational approach, but I realized my hesitation stemmed from my previous negative experience in court and the fear of losing again. However, with Myas'am, supporting me now and willing to testify about the manipulation that had occurred, I was no longer concerned about the outcome. I felt confident that justice would finally be served after all these

years. Update 3. The end of the week arrived quickly, and yesterday I spoke with Maya about my conversation with her mother. I wanted to ensure she understood what might be required of her if we did end up in court. I asked if she would truly be willing to testify in court again, contradicting her previous testimony, because even though she was 15 at the time and legally a minor, it could potentially cause problems for her both legally and emotionally. I wanted her to fully understand what she might be getting into if Sarah refused to cooperate. She assured me with complete conviction that even if she faced consequences personally, it would be for a good cause because what Sarah had done to both of us was inexcusable and impossible to justify by any reasonable

standard. Additionally, she admitted openly that her own actions had been wrong from the beginning. She knew she was lying at the time when she testified and chose to do so to help her mother get what she wanted in the divorce. It had been a difficult decision for her because she wasn't naturally dishonest or manipulative. But she did it because her mother asked her to and convinced her it was necessary, even though she hadn't personally witnessed any of the behaviors she testified about in court. Now she was prepared to do whatever was necessary to make things right, regardless of the potential consequences to herself or her relationship with her mother. I became emotional when she said this because it confirmed beyond doubt that she was serious

about making amends. She wasn't just saying these things to ease her conscience, she genuinely meant them and was prepared to back them up with action. Nevertheless, I hoped Sarah would comply with my requests without much resistance, sparing us all. all from legal complications, which I wanted to avoid if at all possible. If she was thinking rationally about her own interests, she would want to avoid court as well, given what could come to light. Earlier today, I finally called her for her answer, hoping she had come to a reasonable decision. She didn't answer my first few calls, so I messaged her saying that ignoring the problem wouldn't make it disappear, something she should have learned by now.

Eventually, she called me back, and for the first few minutes, she stalled and wasted my time with small talk and vague statements. I directly asked her if she had an answer to my proposal or if I needed to contact my lawyer immediately, as I was getting tired of the conversation and her evasion tactics. After evading the question for several more minutes, trying to steer the conversation in other directions, she finally agreed to my terms. Her only request was that we keep lawyers out of it entirely, and I told her I would agree to that condition as soon as she ensured the first repayment would be made within the next month. I wasn't willing to wait indefinitely for her to begin making things right. She tried to negotiate again, claiming that she and Thomas had just launched their business venture and needed time to become profitable before they could begin repayments, but I wasn't interested in her excuses or financial situation. I had given her plenty of time over the years to do the right thing. She had never admitted her mistakes or tried to make amends in any way, so I felt I owed her nothing at this point.

However, being an honest person with integrity, I only wanted what was rightfully mine, not a penny more. I had meticulously reviewed the child support payments from the past few years, which I strongly suspected she had set aside for personal use rather than spending on the children as intended. Even if she hadn't misused the funds, it didn't matter legally or morally because she wasn't entitled to that money in the first place, having obtained it through deception and manipulation. I believe that's the money she used to fund her business venture initially, though I couldn't prove it definitively. My accountant had carefully calculated the total amount owed, accounting for every payment made,

and she would need to repay that sum in full. I didn't plan to use the money for myself, I intended to set it aside for the money. the children's future education and needs, but she didn't need to know that detail. I was being fair and only asking for what I legitimately deserved, unlike her approach throughout our divorce and custody proceedings. I told her to consider this my final act of goodwill and to be grateful that I had decided not to take legal action that could potentially result in much worse consequences for her. She continued trying to negotiate more favorable terms, but I ended the call abruptly. I then texted her saying I didn't

want to discuss it further as it was a waste of my valuable time. I just wanted the payments to arrive on schedule according to the agreement we had reached, and if there were any delays or problems, she could be absolutely certain I would take her to court without hesitation. I also consulted my lawyer privately, and while I preferred to avoid litigation for everyone's sake, I thought it was important to have a formal contract documenting our agreement. I informed Sarah that I would send the contract the following week for her signature. These were my terms, and I believe they are completely fair given the circumstances. Whether anyone approves of my approach or attitude is irrelevant to me because I feel that time for

consideration and gentleness has long passed. I refuse to tolerate any more mistreatment or manipulation from Sarah or anyone associated with her, including Thomas. Update 4 It's been several months since my last update, and Maya and I have been actively working to improve our relationship. It hasn't been easy by any measure. Sometimes I become distant when reminded of everything that happened, and moving forward is challenging when those memories resurface unexpectedly. During these times, she's wise enough to give me space without taking offense, and afterward, we resume our conversations and try to work through our issues in a mature way.

We're making progress, slowly but surely, and I'm confident will continue to improve our situation over time. Sarah has been fulfilling her obligations consistently, and I'm keeping my promise not to take her to court as long as she continues to comply with our agreement. She has also signed the contract I mentioned in my previous update, so we now have a formal agreement from which she cannot withdraw without consequences. I'm gradually recovering what I lost financially, but more importantly, I'm recovering the time with my children, including Maya, which makes me incredibly happy and grateful. I know many people disagreed with my decision to forgive Maya, suggesting she might betray me again if circumstances changed, but as a father who loves his daughter despite everything, I strongly doubt that will happen. We've been rebuilding our bond carefully and thoughtfully, and everyone makes mistakes, especially in their form. years when they're still developing their judgment and critical thinking skills. I think I would be in a difficult position if people held mistakes I made at 15 against me forever,

so I'm willing to give her another chance at our relationship. I believe everything will work out well in the end, even if the path to that outcome isn't always smooth or straightforward. Noah and Emma have also benefited from the new arrangement. They spend much more time with me now, and our relationship has strengthened considerably. They seem happier and more balanced, no longer caught in the middle of adult conflicts beyond their understanding. I've been careful not to speak negatively about their mother and their presence, despite everything that's happened, because I believe that would only harm them in the long run. That's all I have to share for now.

I'm happy in doing well overall, despite the occasional difficulties that still arise. Thank you for your support and advice throughout this journey. It has been incredibly valuable to have outside perspectives on this complex situation.