Reddit Stories - Cil CONTINUED to BELITTLE my spouse for being a STAY-AT-HOME parent, and I

Episode Date: February 7, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #stayathomeparent #belittling #relationships #familydynamics #communication  Summary: Cil consistently belittles my spouse for choosing to be a stay-at-home parent, undermining their contributions to our family. This ongoing behavior has created tension and frustration in our relationship, leading me to question how to address Cil's disrespectful attitude while supporting my spouse's important role at home.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, stayathomeparent, belittling, relationships, familydynamics, communication, support, respect, parenting, mentalhealth, conflictresolution, selfcare, boundaries, advice, personalstories, lifeadvice, emotionalwellbeingBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Episode with two stories, first part. I hope you enjoy this story. Sill continued to belittle my spouse for being a stay-at-home parent, and I finally spoke up, pointing out how my spouse had provided for their whole family during challenging times at her wedding reception. Backstory here is that I, 28F, and my husband, Jason, 29M, met six years ago and got married about three years back. We also have a one-year-old daughter together. We met because of my brother, who, who, who's good friends with Jason because of their line of work. Jason used to be a cop and my brother runs the pizza place which he used to frequently visit.

We struck up a friendship in one year, my brother brought Jason back home for Thanksgiving. That's how we met for the first time and soon after, I asked him out and we started dating. After being together for three years, he proposed and we got married. I've met his family quite a few times before marriage and most of them had always been very warm to me, with the exception of my sister-in-law Janice, 27F. Even my mother-in-law was pretty nice to me, but she wasn't, for whatever reason. Jason kept telling me that she would come around eventually but she never did. She never showed her dislike for me outright and in front of other people either and kept

things subtle. Backhanded compliments, insults disgusted as jokes and stuff, you know the usual. Initially, it would really get on my nerves but after a while, I learned to ignore it. because it didn't make sense to give her the satisfaction of letting her get under my skin. She never said anything in front of Jason, probably because she didn't want to take that risk and turn him against her. But he knew about my equation with his sister and made sure that I was not left alone with her whenever we visited his family. I didn't want him to cut his family off, or even cut his sister off. Because it just wasn't worth it to go to so much trouble,

all because of a few mean jokes and insults or whatever. So we just dealt with the situation by not dealing with it and letting her say whatever she wanted to, while I tried my best to just ignore it. That's what Jason did as well. It wasn't ideal but we didn't have much of a choice. So we just had to suck it up and let her continue with her stupid and weird behavior when it came to me. Since we wanted to maintain the peace of the family. Thinking back on it, I really wish I'd said something and nipped this in the bud instead of being all self-conscious and being afraid to speak up for myself. I just didn't want to be labeled as that woman who gets mad at every little thing and breaks up families. And that's why I

stayed quiet for a long time, but I just couldn't anymore, after what happened recently. Jason was a cop, but he quit the force a few months ago because he wanted to be a stay-at-home dad. So I'm a working mother and I don't have an easy job, I'm a trauma surgeon. We have a daughter and we were really struggling with how to make this work-life balance arrangement work. Of course, both of us have high-pressure jobs and couldn't exactly afford. to spend much time at home. We did have the daycare and our parents would take care of our daughter whenever we needed them too, but it wasn't good enough for us. We were missing out on spending time with her and it felt like she was going to grow up without her parents around much

if we went on that way. So about a year ago, Jason and I had a serious conversation about this and he told me that he was going to quit the force to spend more time with our daughter at home. I didn't force him into making that decision but he decided it for himself because I made more money than him and he believed that it was only fair that he quit his job, so our daughter would have at least one of us around for most of the day. I asked him if he was sure about that, probably thousands of times, before I was finally convinced that he actually wanted to go through with this and become a full-time dad. It was a huge step to take and I knew how much my husband enjoyed being a cop, so I wanted to make sure that he wouldn't resent me for this. But I don't think he would,

because he seems more than happy to spend his days taking care of the household and our daughter. The last time we spoke about this was just a few weeks back and he told me that initially, he had found it a little difficult to adjust to being a stay-at-home dad after working for so many years. But with time, it became easier for him because he could spend time with our daughter. He seems quite content with his life and how everything has turned out for him. He doesn't seem to have any complaints because he says that his dream job used to be being a cop but now, it's being a father. And that's pretty beautiful. His family, however, doesn't see any beauty in the situation and I should have seen it coming

because his family is pretty traditional. They do allow women to work and most of the women and his family are working women. But the catch is that they don't allow their men to work at home. One of the men in my husband's family even touched the household chores because they consider it beneath their dignity. So eventually, the women and their families end up doing the household work along with their jobs or they are forced to quit their jobs, like my mother-in-law. The crazy part is that they don't even see anything wrong with this arrangement and think

that it's completely fine. Jason and I have discussed this in person and both of us agree that it's a ridiculous school of thought. But we never spoke about it with his family because they would just come out with some stupid arguments to cover up the misogyny and we didn't want to get into that. If they were happy living their life that way, then who are we to judge them for it? Thankfully, Jason and I always split everything equally and sometimes he would even do more of the household work than me.

in case I ended up working late. And now, of course, he's doing everything at home and holding down the fort there while I bring home the money. To us, it doesn't really matter who does what, as long as we're all happy and healthy and there's food on the table. His parents and sister, however, strongly disagree with this and are very upset with Jason's decision to quit the force and stay at home with our daughter. They think that it makes him less of a man or whatever and have been arguing with him

for months about it. I tried to intervene at first, but his parents made it very clear that my interference would only make their relationship worse. Jason didn't want me to come to his defense either because he didn't want to involve me in this mess, so I stayed out of their way. It took them a while, but they did come around to our new arrangement and haven't brought it up for quite a few months. It also probably helped that they had new things to think about like Janice getting married. Her boyfriend of two years, Harry, 27M, proposed to her and after that, everybody pretty much forgot about Jason because this was a much bigger deal. We were thankful that they chose to get engaged around that time

because it really helped to take the heat off of us. For a few months, nobody from his family brought up Jason's decision to quit the force and tried to fight him on it. We were quite relieved because we thought that this had finally blown over and we wouldn't have to hear about a man's role in his family ever again. But then Janice held her rehearsal dinner yesterday, and that's where this came up again so I had a bit of an outburst. Janice is getting married in one day, so this is a bit of an emergency and we need to figure out what we want to do about this really quickly. This is time-sensitive, so we would appreciate a fast response to this post. So while we were at dinner, Jason and I were sitting opposite Janice

and Harry. Their parents and a couple of other family members were also sitting around us and we were all having a normal, fun chat. Nothing too controversial and I were. was relieved that we were finally getting along with his family like before. It was a big deal, especially after how upset everybody had been when Jason quit the force, I didn't think this would happen again. But then, Janice decided to go off topic and started asking me how my work was going. I felt uncomfortable but I had to answer the question because it was a very normal and innocent question in itself, but I knew where she was about to take it. I told her that my work was great and left it at that, hoping that she would take the hint and not drag this out.

But then she asked Jason how his work was going and cracked a joke about how his job finally allows him to take time off without worrying about anything because now his life is just a long vacation since he is living off of my income. She didn't stop there and went on to say that at least now, it's clear to everybody who wears the pants in our family. She cracked a few more jokes that were pretty below the belt and kept making fun of Jason while he quietly tried to ignore it and smile through it all, trying to take it like a sport. but I couldn't handle it and I just lost control.

It was probably years of her getting on my nerves and months of having to deal with Jason's family and their annoying beliefs. Something in me just snapped and I decided to bring up something that nobody wanted to hear. I told her that she could crack as many jokes as she wanted to, but Jason was still a better man and an overall better human being than everybody in their family combined. I told her that she really had some audacity to make fun of Jason, considering the fact that she wouldn't even have been able to go to college, had it not been for him and never met Harry if Jason didn't choose to give money to his parents to help them out ever since he was 18.

Nobody likes talking about it because it was a very dark period in their lives, but Jason's father had lost his job back when Jason was still in high school. Janice was too spoiled and oblivious to even notice the problems in her family and her parents and Jason decided that they would do their best to make sure that she doesn't find out about it either. So they never said no to anything that she wanted, even while they were struggling, to make sure she didn't end up worrying about their finances. Jason had to take up two jobs to be able to support his family back then, while his father continued to search for a job with decent pay. They didn't have to suffer for more than a year and until then, they had Jason to support them and some savings to sustain them.

Janice never found out about it because her family didn't let her know and she was oblivious to everything that happened back then, until I brought it up at the rehearsal dinner. She was shocked and so was everybody else because this was a huge secret and nobody was supposed to talk about it because they didn't want her to find out. But after almost a decade I had finally brought this up and now she knew exactly how much she owed to her brother, so she had no business making fun of him and trying to put him down like she was at the time. Everybody else might be too great to tell her the truth, especially Jason, so she would finally be grateful to him but I wasn't above it. After I said that, there was just silence all around the table, and after a minute or so Jason and I excused ourselves and headed out. We walked back to our hotel room in silence and even

after we got there, we didn't discuss what happened at that dinner. I knew that this was going to become a huge deal and so did he. But not discussing it further was his way of letting me know that he didn't think I did anything wrong, and so there was no need for a discussion. And it did become a huge deal because when I woke up the next morning, it was to the same sound of knocking on our door because Jason's parents were out there and wanted to speak to me, first thing in the morning. Jason let them in and once we were all seated, they got to the point and told me that the family wanted me to apologize to Janice because what I said at the dinner was something that they had kept from her for a really long time. And they didn't think that it was

appropriate for me to bring it up since it wasn't my place to say that to her and it ruined the vibe of the evening. Because now Janice was miserable and couldn't stop crying and it was all my fault. They also said that Janice was just joking and messing around with Jason like siblings usually do, so I had no reason to get so defensive and blurt out such a huge secret, knowing what it would mean for their family. Now Janice felt extremely guilty and kept saying that she had been a burden on the family for so long and wasn't even aware of it. They told me that she was miserable and kept apologizing to her parents. She was having a total meltdown and this is exactly why they didn't want her to ever get to know the truth about what had happened all those years ago.

They believed that she was an emotionally fragile girl and wouldn't be able to handle the truth and I suppose there's some truth to it if she's acting that way. And now they want me to apologize to her and also the rest of the family for my outburst. They also want me to tell her that I didn't mean any of the things that I said to her at dinner and fix this. I have the rest of the day to make up my mind but they want me to do whatever it is that I have to do before she gets married tomorrow. There is a one-day gap between the rehearsal dinner and her wedding because some of her friends are going to arrive today and she planned for it ahead. So I kind of lucked

out on that front because now I have until the evening to decide what I want to do. Jason thinks that I shouldn't apologize because I was only standing up for him. And she's always been really rude to me, so it's about time that I retaliated and I have nothing to regret. I personally have also been thinking along the same lines. But she's supposed to get married tomorrow and I really wouldn't feel good about myself, knowing that I caused somebody to have a mental breakdown right before their wedding day. And most other people from her family believe that I owe her an apology, but that's obviously coming from a biased place. And as much as I hate to admit it, Jason's opinion is also coming from the same place. The only difference is that he's speaking in

my favor. So for a truly neutral opinion, I've come to Reddit. I'd owe for bringing up how my husband helped out his family in the past because my sister-in-law kept making fun of him for being a stay-at-home father now. Update 1, so it's evening time now and after reading the comments, I have come to the conclusion that I have nothing to apologize for. Jason and I are currently packing our stuff so we can leave because it's going to be really weird if I don't apologize and then I attend her wedding tomorrow. We are going to tell his parents that we're leaving because it'll be really rude if we don't and just pull a disappearing act without bothering to tell anyone. Jason and I talked about this a couple of hours ago and he says that it's the right thing to do

because Janice has always been really insensitive and rude for no reason, and it's about time that she faced some consequences for it. He also told me that it had been getting increasingly difficult for him to put up with his family because of the way they'd been behaving ever since he quit his job. He had expected them to be supportive, but they were far from it. and were actively pulling him down and making him feel horrible for wanting to spend time with his daughter. We had always known that his family had a crazy misogynistic attitude towards work and household chores and we really should have seen this coming. But we wanted to give them a chance

to change and unlearn everything. They had that chance and they decided to stick to their old beliefs instead of getting with the times. So now if we want to stop talking to them, it's their own fault for not being supportive of us. We're happy with our lives and if they can't be happy for us, then we don't want to keep in touch with them. Because we don't need that sort of negative energy around us. And that's how they've been acting for the past few months, constantly negative and critical of us and our life choices. So now we're finally ready to bid adieu to these people. Honestly, Jason and I had only been sticking around out of a sense of obligation but we can't tolerate this behavior anymore. I have put up with enough disrespect disguised as jokes and

concern and so has Jason. But I think it's very necessary for us to draw a line and let people know that this line is not to be crossed anymore because we are not going to take it. We teach people how we want to be treated and we have been setting a really bad example for ourselves but that ends now. So now, everybody is going to learn how we want to be treated. And if they can't bring themselves to respect us and our choices then they can stay the heck out of our lives. Update 2. Okay, so Jason and I are at home now. It didn't go well with his parents when we told them that we were not going to apologize and were actually heading back home since we didn't feel comfortable attending the wedding ceremony after what happened.

They had obviously been expecting us to suck it up and apologize because they completely freaked out when Jason told them that we were leaving and were not going to attend the ceremony. They started yelling at us and telling us that we couldn't leave because that would and they didn't want us to ruin Janice's wedding. Jason's mom told us that we had to be present at the ceremony and that whatever issues we had would just have to be sorted out later. Jason told her that we just weren't comfortable being present at the ceremony because it had become very evident to us that Janice didn't respect us. And neither did anybody else, since they expected us to apologize for merely standing up for ourselves. They'd all been treating us badly ever

since Jason quit his job and we weren't okay with this behavior anymore. So this was us putting our food down because we'd had enough. After we said that, Jason's parents told us that we were being very egoistic and selfish and said that we needed to think about the repercussions of our actions. They said that us not being present at the ceremony, after we had been there for all the other events, would seem very strange. And then the entire day would just become about our fight and would take away the focus from Janice and her wedding. We argued for a bit more and then Janice herself showed up at the room. She had the room right next to her parents, she had overheard yelling and decided to come to check it out. Once she was there, her parents filled her in and she told us

that she was fine with us not coming to the wedding and would actually prefer it that way. She addressed me directly and told me that she didn't have a problem with Jason attending the wedding but he wouldn't come without me, and I was the last person she wanted there. She called me selfish and vindictive and said that the only reason I ruined her rehearsal dinner was because I wanted to create trouble at her wedding. So then the two of us got into a petty cat fight which I regret because we really could have done without it. But that gave us an excuse to leave without more of a fuss. They didn't try to stop us as we left and that was a relief because we didn't have it in us to put up an even bigger fight. So she can go ahead with her wedding and

Jason and I wish that it goes well. But we don't want anything to do with her or his parents and We might consider mending our relationship if they apologize, but I don't believe that's going to happen anytime soon. For now, both of us are just relieved to be home. Our daughter had been living with my parents but we picked her up on our way back home and Jason is currently playing with her as I type out this update. This is my favorite space and I don't care what anybody else says about it. Our family is just perfect the way it is.

Update 3, Hey, Guys. So this update is coming a day after the wedding. We were not there but we heard that there was a lot of talk about us on the day of the wedding, most of which came from Janice herself. It's ironic that her parents were worried that our absence would lead to a lot of questions from other people and the day would end up becoming more about us and our fight with Janice than about her. But I guess Janice leaned into the idea and started making her wedding day more about us herself.

There were a few distant relatives who hadn't been present at the rehearsal dinner to witness my outburst, but they heard all about it from Janice after the ceremony. Apparently, she didn't stop talking about our fight the entire day and was really milking the drama. Good for her, I guess. I can't say I expected any better from her. The only downside of what she did is that now, anybody who isn't too close to the family is reaching out to Jason to ask about the drama. Everybody wants to feel involved and get to the bottom of this. We haven't been entertaining it so far and I don't think that we will because we don't want anything to do with his family unless they apologize.

And since it doesn't appear to us that they have any intention of apologizing, we're just going to stay out of the drama and let them do their thing. We have tried to be as vague as possible while responding to everybody who is texting Jason because we want to take the high road and not engage. That's only going to lead to more fighting and drama since Janice pretty much lives for it. His family will definitely have a field day if they find out that we have been talking about them behind their backs, even though they were doing the same thing to us. We just don't want to get into it, so we are going to do what we did all these years and ignore everybody. That's the end of the first story.

Let's begin the second one. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered she was unfaithful to me on Christmas Eve. A bit of context beforehand, my former spouse and I had been in a relationship for six years and tied the knot in February. Of this year, I thought, We thought we were a fantastic couple, we did a lot of things together, I always endeavored to be a consistently interesting person. I took her on random dates to new places and peppered little romantic gestures every now and then. About four to five months ago, after becoming upset over the lack of friends in her life aside from me, she met a new group of friends through an online meetup group. I was super supportive of this, since one person alone shouldn't be your only source of happiness. Anyway, a month or so passes, and there seemed to be one guy in the group she began to spend

more and more time with. Admittedly, I got a bit jealous, but I thought what the hell, I trusted her completely and she's entitled to friends, I wasn't prepared to interfere in that. Weeks pass, and now she is going around to his house, which he shared with other housemates, she would apparently play board games with this guy and the other housemates and would occasionally send me pictures of what she was up to there, which helped to live. lay some of concerns. However, by this point, red flags were beginning to pop up all over the place and my gut was telling me something wasn't right, she would spend most evenings texting this guy

on her phone, she'd take her phone into the shower with her. Also, on multiple nights she would say she was tired and that she was going to bed early, yet I'd go in to grab something from the bedroom a couple of hours later and see her still lay awake on her phone, probably talking to this guy, by this point I was feeling. Extremely uncomfortable with the situation. I thought the amount of time she was spending at this guy's house, particularly after spending a day out with him, was beyond inappropriate, so I decided to speak to her, I told her my concerns and that I didn't mind her being friends with this guy, but she needed to rein it in, she accused me of being jealous and needy, she told me that she enjoyed spending time with

this guy and that they had a lot in common. Fast forward another week or so, she tells me she's going into town to find a present for her niece and leaves, my gut was telling me. me she was lying. Now, I knew where this guy lived, because I actually dropped him off after a night out one night, so I went to his house. My heart dropped into my stomach when I saw her car parked outside. I began hyperventilating and panicking. I felt drunk as I walked back to my car, on the drive home. I was crying uncontrollably. I was so out of it I almost had. An accident after running a red light, when I got back, I tried to regain my composure, I paced for a while and started to calm down, not long afterward, she called me, I asked her

how her day was, and she said it was good, but she wasn't able to find a present for her niece. I wonder why, I told her to come home immediately, she asked why, and I said I needed to speak to her, when she came through the door. I asked her if she really had been into town to look for presents, she continued her. Pretense and lied again, I told her I knew where she'd been, Her expression turned from confusion to shock instantly. She sat down and explained to me that she'd just been around there for coffee and a chat. I asked her why she lied to me, and she said that she didn't want to compound my jealousy and insecurity. I'm still stunned that she said this.

What could compound insecurity more than lying about your whereabouts and going to another man's house? She insisted that nothing at all happened. That she was considering my feelings and just wanted to be with her friend without me worrying what she was doing. Well, like the idiot I am, I believed her. By this point I was certain that I was being needlessly jealous and clingy. Little did I know that she was gaslighting me, yet another week passes and I'm in work. She texts me to ask if it's okay with me to go around to this guy's house again after she finishes work for a coffee. She finished work a few hours before me, so I thought fine.

I won't be home anyway, and told her to go for it, later that day, whilst I was sat in traffic on the way home from work, I get another text. This time she tells me she's stopping over at his for dinner. I blew up at her over text, telling her I didn't want her to come back tonight and for her to just stay there, I told her that by this point it was clearly an emotional affair at the very least. She asked me why I was doing this, and I told her that I'd been putting with this. For two months now and that the whole situation was making me feel constantly nauseous and that something was seriously wrong, for my gut was screaming at me, she pleaded with me to let her come home so we could talk, I said no and didn't speak to her again until the following night.

Like the idiot I am, I texted her saying I'd made a massive error of judgment and that she could come home, when she came back. She told me that I'd seriously damaged our relationship and that she doesn't know if. She could trust me again, I wanted so hard to tell her that's exactly what she did by lying a week prior, but I bit my tongue, chalking it down to my jealously issues arising again, I apologized for my actions and things slowly started to go back to normal, or so I thought, around December 20th. She tells me that she was going to go to her sisters late on Christmas Eve to spend time there on Christmas Day with her and her niece and nephew. However, she wanted to spend a good couple of days with me first, and wanted us to spend the 23rd and 24th together. With that being our Christmas, I was upset that she wouldn't be here on Christmas Day, but I respected her wishes and went through with it. Those two days ended up being really nice. We cooked Christmas dinner together, made some snacks, watched Netflix, and snuggled. I enjoyed it so much. She was due to head off to her sisters at around six on Christmas Eve. I helped her pack a few things. But all of a sudden I had a realization about something. She told me her

sister was due back home at around half six because she was going shopping. But I also remember that this guy finished work around six, immediately. My suspicion kicked into overdrive, but I tried to kick it back down. She wouldn't go to his house on Christmas Eve. She wouldn't be so callous as to leave me over Christmas, would she? I decided to once again ignore my gut and put it down to jealously and insecurity. If I accused her of potentially doing such a thing I could have jeopardized the relationship, so I sucked it up. Before she left, I surprised her with a few presents. They were all things I knew she'd love. She said she felt really guilty because she couldn't afford to get me anything this year, I said it was okay. And that I bought them her not because

I expected something in return, but because I loved her and wanted her to have them, We kissed and she said goodbye. That was the last time I'll hopefully ever see her. A few hours after she left, I remembered I had to respond to an email, so I jumped on Gmail, only she had left herself logged in on the computer. What I found absolutely crushed me. For whatever reason, she had downloaded the WhatsApp chat between herself and the other guy onto her Gmail. I opened it and read through. This had been going on for almost two months, what started out as. Light flirting descended into sexting, she was saying how she loved being with him and cuddling on his sofa when they watched the film. She said how she would send him dirty pictures if it had motivate him to get

home sooner, she requested pictures of him, videos of him showing off and masturbating. He sent her dick picks and she'd send him who knows how many nudes. This goes on for weeks, at the beginning of December. They apparently slept together, what's? Doubly gut wrenching is the fact that judging by the time She was saying how much she enjoyed it during a time I was sat in the living room with her. Towards the end of the messages, which ended around December 18th, they were both saying how they can't wait to be together. The guy even said she should steal my PC and VR headset before she goes because he wants to play it.

Her response was ha-ha, at this point. I was suffering a massive emotional breakdown, in the midst of it all, I decided to check her location history through Google, and it confirmed my suspicions. She was at his house that very moment, she left me on Christmas Eve to be with this guy, to add yet more salt to the wound. I scrolled down her emails and found that she'd ordered a T-shirt for this guy as a Christmas present. Despite telling me she couldn't afford to buy me anything, there was no doubt in my mind now that this relationship was finished.

I called her to tell her I knew what was going on, but... Before I did, I asked her where she was, to see if she'd finally fess up, She told me that she couldn't deal with this mistrust anymore, and that she was at her sisters. She lied to me and convinced me I was the one in the wrong right up until the end. I told her about the conversations she'd been having with this guy, how she gaslighted me and caused a massive emotional breakdown, despite seeing me in such a state. She continued to lie to me and offered me no support, the woman I'd supported. For seven years through some dark times offered me nothing in return at a time I'd needed her the most.

As I was saying all this, she remained mostly silent, with only an occasional I know coming through, I ended the call telling her I never wanted to see her again. I also discovered through her WhatsApp exchange that she told her sister what was going on, and her sister said nothing to me. She remained complicit in the whole thing. I just can't believe it, what a disgraceful family, yesterday. I packed all of her shit into bags and simply left it in the garden for her to collect whenever she wants, I haven't damaged any of her property, though it took a Herculane effort not to, I am better than that, right now I'm in a very dark place, I cry seemingly at random with just minor triggers, I've been having what I think are panic attacks, my heart beats really fast when I lie in bed, I feel constantly sick. I even woke up twice a couple of nights ago panic-stricken and in a state of. Confusion that she was in the house and looking for me, I am utterly devastated and broken, I am hoping to move on from this, but I'm scared. it will taint all future relationships, and that this betrayal will haunt me for the rest of my life,

she's ruined me, update, found out she was cheating on me in Christmas Eve, so, it's been four days now since D-Day. I haven't been feeling particularly well since that day and the pain is still very fresh, I've been crying on and off the entire time. Last night was pretty bad, I just lay in bed and sob for ten straight minutes, I am truly at my lowest point right now, She has texted multiple times since Sunday, she told me she had been feeling confused for months, that all the feelings she had for me were very real and that none of what she had done has been logical. She then says that she doesn't expect to be taken back, but she would like to mend our friendship,

finally. She tells me that she doesn't want our marriage to end over text as, if it didn't end the moment she cheated, and that I need to speak to her face to face, to scream and shout at her if that's what is necessary, and to give me closure, all of this. made me very angry. I can't believe she wants me to consider mending our friendship as if there's any value in having her as a friend after what she's done. Not only that, but she wants me to meet her and speak with her. Does she expect a heart to heart where she can try and justify the months of emotional abuse she put me through? She is delusional. I haven't responded to these texts and I don't

plan to. One thing I'm worried about, though, is her suddenly turning up to the house trying to apologize or threatening to do something if I don't communicate with her. I couldn't handle that. She has tortured me enough. So, yeah, that's been the last few days. It's been very, very bad, but I have a friend coming over. Tomorrow night, so I have a good distraction for the New Year's weekend at least. Thanks again for all of your encouraging comments on my last post, everyone. Let's hope 2018 is more positive for us all. Update, found out she was cheating on me on Christmas Eve, it's been just over a month since D-Day, and I thought I'd check in and let you know how things are going. The first two weeks of January were quite possibly the worst of my entire life,

I sunk to absolute rock bottom, I cried multiple. Times every single day, I stopped eating and lost weight to the point that people were asking me if I was unwell, and I even contemplated suicide, I will admit to holding a knife to my wrists and being on the precipice of doing something really, really bad during one terrible night, they were extremely dark days, now we're over a month in, things have improved, I still cry, but not as often. My appetite is slowly coming back and I don't feel as despondent, I do still get a rush of intense end. Upsetting feelings every other day or so, as well as thoughts that I'll never find anyone else, but I'm not as consumed by them, as far as no contact goes, I've managed to maintain it, though it's been an unbelievably difficult task,

her number, but she got through to me via a few other means, such as through one of my old email addresses, she did send me quite a long letter via email in early January, saying she deeply regretted what she did, and that she knows I want her to suffer and that she will for the rest of her life, she also went on to say that I was the only one who made her feel truly attractive, and then pleaded with me to acknowledge that I knew her feelings for me were always real, in short, it was all the usual stuff you'd expect to see from a cheater and a narcissist, I'm still firm in my decision not to give her any opportunity for reconciliation. I have nothing to gain from it, and she will just want to feel more.

At ease in the face of her actions, the novelty of the affair is probably beginning to wear off now, too, and the guilt will soon eat her alive. If it isn't doing already, my recovery process has been fairly spotty, but I'm just trying to take things one day at a time, worked as well to keep me occupied throughout the week and give me a purpose, and in the evenings I really enjoy cooking. It's hard to feel sad when the kitchen smells so amazing. I've also done some light socializing, though. Money is quite tight at the moment, so I can't do as much as I'd like, unfortunately, finally, I've been spending a ton of time with my dog. I'm so thankful for the comfort she's provided me over the last month. In the end, I think the most important things

on my road to recovery have been allowing all of my grief to process, learning to accept the situation I'm in and beginning to enjoy my own company. It's undoubtedly been a tough time, and I imagine it will be for a while yet, but I feel as. Though I have both of my hands on the ledge now instead of just one, thanks for reading, and I really hope you're all doing okay out there, update, found out she was cheating on me on Christmas Eve, so, here I stand, five weeks removed from D-Day, at the moment, I'm still a bit scattered, emotionally at least, sometimes I'll go for hours and hours sometimes almost a whole day without thinking about her and what she did, other times, however.

I'll see or do something that will suddenly and inadvertently trigger a powerful memory of the relationship, for example, a few days ago I was doing some tidying up around the house when I found a keepsake she had bought me many years ago, entitled, To the Man I Love, moments like that can sometimes bring my whole day crashing down. Throughout this ordeal, I've been coping mostly by keeping myself as busy and distracted as possible. I'll cook from scratch, binge watch TV shows, go for lengthy. Walks with my dog, write, play video games, etc. The hardest time tends to come when I'm in bed at night and alone with my thoughts. My mind often wanders back to that evening on Christmas Eve when I discovered she was cheating. I can sometimes become trapped in a mental loop,

replaying the events over and over in my head. If my thoughts continue to drift, I invariably end up thinking about her and the other guy having sex, which quickly makes me feel physically sick and at one point brought me to the cusp of a panic attack, again, though, these thoughts are becoming less and less intrusive as time goes on. Maintaining no contact is absolutely crucial for me at this stage, as tough as it's been not to communicate with her for over a month, and counting, the clarity it's brought me has made it more than worthwhile, it has allowed the fog to clear and for me to see the situation for what it is. I am emerging from of the other side of this with my self-respect, my dignity and my values and strength of character

intact. I always told my ex-wife that infidelity was an immediate deal-breaker in a relationship, and that I would promptly remove anyone from my life if they were to betray me in such a way, perhaps she thought she could use my love of her against me to reconcile, to get a second chance or two at the very least remain friends. But the situation following her affair has unfolded in exactly the way I always said it would. She made a conscious decision to betray me. And I stuck to my guns and ended the relationship instantly. My actions have earned me a ton of respect from friends and colleagues alike. They commend my strength and unwavering commitment to upholding my values. As a result, I can look myself in the mirror and truly admire the man staring back at me.

a lot of people struggle with serious self-esteem and confidence issues in these circumstances. And whilst both have been damaged for me to an extent, I still hold a lot of value in myself, it helps to reiterate to myself daily that I am the prize, and that she will look for me in every man she is within the future, but she will never find me, because I'm not replaceable, through her selfishness she has lost a good man, I was always and always would have been loyal to her, because I loved her and respected her immensely, unfortunately, until she confronts her own deep-rooted issues. She is destined to repeat this behavior time and again and will always live with the belief that someone else is responsible for her happiness, in the end, her actions

may have knocked me down, but I'll get back up again, only this time I'll be even stronger, and remember, always love and look after yourself. After all, you're the most valuable person you know, finally, thank you to everyone who has followed my story and offered support throughout this journey. This sub has been invaluable.