Reddit Stories - Cil REQUESTED that I create CELEBRATION PASTRIES but later excluded me from her

Episode Date: July 18, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #celebrationpastries #excluded #bakingdrama #friendshipissues #communicationbreakdownSummary: Cil REQUESTED that I create CELEBRATION PASTRIES but later excluded me from her plans, causing confusion and hurt feelings. Miscommunication led to a strained relationship and unresolved issues between us.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, celebrationpastries, excluded, bakingdrama, friendshipissues, communicationbreakdown, miscommunication, strainedrelationship, unresolvedissues, hurtfeelings, confusion, relationshipdrama, bakingconflict, friendshipdilemma, socialdynamics, emotionalturmoilBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Sil requested that I create celebration pastries but later excluded me from her pre-wedding gathering. Furthermore, she placed us next to my spouse's biological contributor at the ceremony, while his former romantic partner was seated nearby. With family. I was asked by my mill a while ago to make two cakes for my Sil's wedding. From my understanding these will not be the main dessert or the actual wedding cake they cut for photos, just extra cakes for wedding guests with food allergies.

I myself have a dairy allergy and my husband's goddaughter, who is the flower girl, has celiac. She asked me to make a gluten-free cake and a dairy-free cake. I have a small baking business on the side and bake out of my home. I have made wedding cakes before. My mill said she would pay me to make them and buy some ingredients, but she is yet to pay me anything or buy anything to my knowledge. She also never sent me reference photos or inspo picks of how Sill wants the cakes to look, which I did request. For added context, Sill and I are not close anymore.

We used to get along well in the beginning of my relationship with my now husband, Sill's brother, but over time we have drifted apart. My husband and I are not big fans of her fiancé. We don't click and he is hard to talk to and that definitely has put a strain on our relationship with her, but we try to just accept the fact that if she's happy, we can be happy for her. The events over the last month have led me to not want to make the cakes for her wedding anymore, but I am just wondering if it will make me the asshole if I don't make them and back out so close to the wedding. About four weeks ago was Sill's Bachelorette party. She got an Airbnb for the whole weekend for her, the bridesmaids, and my mill.

I was not invited to stay at the Airbnb because there weren't enough beds, but was invited to be a part of the Saturday plans and told I could get my own hotel if I wanted. It was about two hours away from where I live, so I decided I would just drive there and back and save the cost of a hotel. My mill calls me the morning of and basically tries to convince me it isn't worth the drive saying I should just stay home and sill would understand and would want me to be safe. She was worried about me driving alone on unfamiliar roads late at night on the way back and didn't want me drinking then driving home, which I wouldn't have done by the way. She was also concerned I would be driving my car which needs replacing, I was told I shouldn't drive it on the highway or long distances.

I had also lost my driver's license the week before and didn't have a new one yet. She genuinely seemed concerned for my well-being and had valid reasons to be worried. I thought she was just looking out for me. After getting off the phone with her, though, it just didn't feel right not going. I feared if I didn't go it would hurt my relationship with my sill even further, so I tried to find solutions to Mill's concerns. I wanted to put in the effort and show up to support and celebrate my sill. I switched cars with my husband and messaged a friend of mine,

that knows my Sil and fiancé, to see if she would drive me there so I wasn't driving without a license and we could split a hotel so I could stay out later and enjoy more of the party. I messaged my mill shortly after confirming with my friend that she could take me and presented the solutions I found. I also messaged my sill asking if she would be okay with me bringing a friend. I explained her mother's worries and why I was asking someone to come with me but said I wanted to run it by her first before just bringing a plus one. If it was an

issue my friend could have stayed at the hotel. I never got a response from Sill. If I waited any longer before leaving we would have missed more of the day. So I texted her again saying that I didn't hear from her but we were on our way and would meet up with her for the afternoon activities. In addition, I texted and called my Mill at least four or five times before leaving and while on our way there. I didn't get a response from either of them. I had my husband try calling his mom and sister as well. We were in town for almost an hour and a half before finally getting a call from Mill's phone. It was one of the bridesmaids telling me the girls talked and they weren't really comfortable hanging out with someone they don't know. It was clear they did not want

to meet up or tell me where they were and I was basically uninvited. We drove the two hours back home and I was trying not to cry the whole time. I was very hurt by this from both my Mill and Sil. At the time, I thought my Mill was just being overly worried about me, but after the fact I was thinking did Sil not want me there? Was she trying to get Mill to convince me not to go? I felt foolish and naive. I wasn't sure why I was even invited if that was the case and why if she changed her mind and didn't want me there that she couldn't have told me herself before I drove two hours there. I told my husband everything. He was embarrassed his family did that and was upset by what happened. He messaged his mom and said how upset and disappointed he was that I was

treated that way and mentioned how hurt I was by everything. She never responded to his message. She didn't reach out to me either. I also never heard from Sill. Flash forward to last weekend, weekend before the wedding, I find out there's another Bach party in town planned for Sil and her fiancé for family only this time. My husband was invited and told specifically not to bring anyone else that wasn't personally invited by the bride or groom. Well, I never got a message or invite to the party so I assume that meant I wasn't invited. I tell my husband that he doesn't have to stay home for my sake and that it's his sister and he should go if he wants to. He was getting calls from his cousin and sister asking where he was. I was still hurt but didn't want to

keep him from his family. I was also worried I'd somehow get blamed for him not going. So I told him to go and that I'd be okay even though I was very hurt by being excluded again. Well he goes and when he gets back he tells me that his ex-girlfriend was there. I was a mess after that. Knowing that an ex-girlfriend of my husband was invited to my Sill's second bach party meant for family and I wasn't. I didn't even know Sill and husband's ex were friends. This was a whole new level of pain and confusion. It seemed intentionally spiteful and deliberately hurtful. All of this is so sudden and out of the blue. I am shocked and am at a loss for words. I truly don't understand what I could have done to cause his family to turn on me and be so hurtful and not care about my

feelings. My relationship with my sill has been a little strained lately, but it was something I was hoping we could work on and fix. It is hard for me to imagine coming back from this, though. And up until now, I thought I had a pretty great relationship with my mill. I sent a message to her over the weekend about how hurt I am by her and her family, and as I'm writing this, she still hasn't responded. I would feel bad backing out on the cake order so close to the wedding, but I barely even want to go to the wedding anymore, let alone bake and decorate two different cakes for it. I'm worried if I don't do the cakes they will hold it against me and make me look like the bad guy. I don't want to damage the relationships even further, but I'm struggling with so many emotions.

It's a battle of self-respect and also guilt of backing out and leaving them hanging right before the big day. So Reddit, would I be the asshole if I don't make cakes for my sister-in-law's wedding? Update, so when I posted before it was taken down by the mods, I had a lot of it. of people telling me not to make the cakes. I'm sorry to say I probably disappointed a lot of the OG responders. I didn't end up making the cakes. I did, however, make a dozen cupcakes. I found it to be a compromise I was comfortable with. I was very conflicted but ultimately would have felt too guilty not making anything for the wedding. Mostly because I was providing dessert options for those with food allergies and having a food allergy myself I know how hard it is to go to big

events and not be able to eat anything. Being a baker, it is especially disheartening to see everyone else enjoy a dessert and not be able to have a safe treat to enjoy as well. I wanted to be sure my husband's goddaughter had a gluten-free dessert. So I decided to make 12 vegan, nut-free, gluten-free cupcakes to accommodate all-slash-most allergens and dietary restrictions. I asked my mill if she still wanted me to make them and she said yes. I said I would need payment up front and she would need to provide the vegan butter and gluten-free flour.

I severely undercharge for my baking so I felt like it was a fair ask. She had my husband's other parent or mill number two, husband has two moms, this will be relevant later, drop off the ingredients and payment on Wednesday evening before the wedding. Keep in mind the wedding was Friday. So with my full-time job schedule, I only had Thursday night to make the cupcakes and miss the rehearsal dinner. Not that we were planning on making it anyways to be honest, Sill and her now husband didn't go to our rehearsal dinner because he didn't like anything on the menu, so we were already leaning towards not going to that.

Flash forward to the wedding, I told my husband that I wanted to go, at least to the ceremony because it was his family after all and I wanted to go for his sake. I told him going into it that I was only there to support him and that I was not intending to discuss any of the conflict or tension or prior events and didn't want to bring any drama to his sister's wedding day. I truly did not want to take away from her day. After the ceremony, I go into the reception hall to find the dessert table and drop off the cupcakes. Lo and behold, there were three fucking dozen other cupcakes purchased from a gluten-free specialty bakery on the table and no room for my cupcakes to go. I started shaking. I tossed the box of cupcakes on top of the table

and went to go find my husband. I found him staring at the seating chart. He said, did you see who we were seated with? I took a look at the chart and was shocked but yet not surprised to see we were sat at the farthest table in the back and not with any member of his family, except his donor dad. Now a little backstory slash context, as I mentioned before, my husband, and Sill have two moms. My husband and Sill have two different donor dad so Sill has no relation, blood or otherwise, with my husband's donor dad. My husband has never had the intent or interest to meet his donor dad, despite pressure from his moms. His DD, donor dad, was an acquaintance of his parents so they did know him and would send him cards and pictures other the

years but my husband never wanted to meet him. He never felt the need to because he already had two parents. Mill did pressure us to invite DD to our wedding the previous year. I left the decision up to my husband and he chose not to. So back to the wedding, I was fuming. As if I wasn't already shaking enough. It's one thing to hurt me but to mess with my husband? Hell no. I could not believe his own family would do this to him. No one should be blindsided like that and forced into meeting their DD when they've specifically expressed that they do not care too. And if husband wanted to meet his DD, it should be on his terms. It should not be sprung on him at his sister's wedding. And we're sad at the same table with him and not with any of his actual family? But we're

Wait, it gets better. Guess who is sad at the family table? Yup, you guessed it. The fucking ex-girlfriend. I seriously cannot make this stuff up. I was floored and absolutely jaw-dropped at their audacity. I didn't care about the Bachelorette parties or the damn cupcakes anymore. My main focus was my husband.

He was shaking too and clearly distressed and getting very anxious, nearing an attack. I asked him what he wanted to do and remind him that I was. only there for him and will stick by him no matter what he decides to do. I asked if he wanted to leave and go home. I asked if he wanted to go get dinner somewhere else and we can come back for the rest of the reception later. He said he just needed a drink, so we left the cocktail hour and went to the hotel lobby bar, same building as wedding slash reception. A friend of ours was working and we immediately vented to her and told her what was going on. After we had a drink or two, to calm down, I again asked my husband what he wanted to do.

He wanted me to go in and check if his DD was there or not and if he was he wanted me to see if someone would switch seats with us. So I went in and scouted out the area. I didn't see him. I know what he looks like only from pictures on Facebook. We went in and sat down at the assigned table full of strangers right before the dinner was about to start. Then, thankfully, a couple that my husband knew asked us,

if we wanted to join them at their table since there were open seats. We gladly joined them, so at least we were by someone we knew. That's when we saw that they had special cups that said something along the lines of my name is underscore my drinks are on the bride and groom and we were like, oh, that's interesting. This couple was an older couple that used to babysit my husband and sill, so not family but family friends. We looked around and saw that all the bridal party and family members had those cups and they were personalized. We of course were never given, told, or offered ones. But guess who did have one? Yup, right again. The ex-girlfriend. Just another slide against me slash us. And to be clear,

we were not expecting free drinks or to be on the bride and grooms tab or anything but the fact that we were not only excluded but basically cast away from the family table, hidden in the back, almost ambushed with an awkward AF dinner. Telling me they still want to be. me to make the cupcakes when they already had ordered them from another bakery in town, and everything else, we were just at a loss for words. We tried to make the best of it and just enjoy the night despite it all. We danced with his goddaughter, got really drunk, thanks to the lovely and supportive bartenders at the lobby bar, and I made sure Mill saw me give one of my cupcakes to the goddaughter. I took the rest of the cupcakes and gave them to the lobby bartenders

since they treated us more like family. Mill did try and come up to me and talk during the reception. She asked if I thought things would ever be okay between us again and if we could get back to the way things were before, but I held true to my word and told her that this was not the time or place to talk things out. That this is Sills Day and I did not want to take away from that and make it about me, but that she made it very clear to me where I stand and that she does not consider me family and left it at that.

After the wedding, we basically went low to no contact with them. Mill number two tried to facilitate a family meeting with everyone but that has yet to happen. It's been seven months and we still have not talked. Zero contact from Sill. Mill has tried reaching out several times but has never truly apologized or owned up for anything. Just that she's sorry for the rift between us and that she was hurt too and basically victimizing herself. So that about sums it up, hopefully the update was worth the wait. Next story, found out my mill was having an affair with an apprentice when I accidentally took her computer home.

After telling my husband, we discovered she'd been cheating for years. I've been at a loss of what to do so I figured I should finally make a Reddit account and post here. I work at my husband's family business that builds custom homes. I met my mill when she came into the design firm I worked at to pick out some options for a client. She and I hit it off and after she'd come in a few times she set me up with her son. Fast forward seven years and I coordinate all the builds and consult with clients on design for the 50-plus-year-old family business. My mill is technically my boss, but we operate a lot like equals and she's been taking some steps back. She and I have always gotten along great and she has felt like the mother I never got to have growing up. So last Friday I was packing up to go home

and on the phone with my husband before he got a flight for an annual weekend away with friends. I was distracted and accidentally grabbed my Mills computer instead of mine. I didn't realize it until I was home and wanted to look up some fixtures for a project in our own house. Once I knew I texted her to let her know to which she said no worries, she was unplugging this weekend anyway and to do whatever I needed on it. I was just browsing and unintentionally clicked on a linked email on a store's contact page. We use MacBooks and as a lot of Apple users know, that will usually pop up to send an easy, using your default mail app. I closed the draft and when I went to close her email app one saw

an email from a recently hired apprentice titled Our Weekend Getaway Itinerary. I froze. I realized this was her personal email and I couldn't help myself but to click on it. I found both explicit and romantic messages between this 22-year-old male apprentice and my married 47-year-old mother-in-law and boss. I slammed the computer shut and just went to bed, staring at the ceiling for quite a while. My husband was gone all weekend and only got home today. I had been spiraling all weekend on how to handle this. I certainly wasn't going to bring it up to my husband while he was gone. But I went to the office and had to see my mill yesterday and could barely keep my composure. I found every excuse to lock myself away in my office and be busy. So now my husband

is back and I'm wondering what to do, do I tell him, how do I even do that, do I go to his mom and confront her, do I go to his dad and tell him, help. Additional info, OOP clarifies on her mill's age. She was 40 when I met my husband, not when we married. And she was 18 when she had my husband. Teen pregnancy. Update 1, March 14, 2025. I shouldn't have been surprised by the amount of people who told me to keep it to myself

and that I was in the wrong for snooping. Yeah, I shouldn't have opened up the email, but I did, so here we are. And here's an update. My husband knew something was wrong after he got home. He can read me like a book. I told him I found out something I shouldn't have and told him everything. He was mortified. But as some said, he's glad I told him because keeping it from him would be worse. He knew more about that apprentice than I did. He was the son of a family friend and she's known him since he was a teenager. Hiring him was a favor to said friend. My husband said he wanted to take him from there, which he did. He went snooping on his own. The computer is company property and he has

ownership in it as well and can log in remotely at any time. He took screenshots of emails going back with the apprentice over a year before he worked here, then of ones with someone else that were two years old and then records of a second phone and hotel reservations. With all that, he took it to his dad. I don't know how that conversation went, but I do know that they went to get him tested. To add insult to his injury, he tested positive. My Phil joined us for dinner instead of going home and we talked for quite a while. He was like a heartbroken teenager. He had no idea what was happening but years ago he had suspicious of her talking to other men but didn't have any proof and they dropped it after a brief fight. But now with undeniable proof of multiple affairs,

he said it's over. He also has a pretty airtight pre-up that should make it a pretty easy divorce on paper. The family business is on his side and in the case of infidelity, she forfeits all ownership of the business and the house they built together. So I'm sorry to break it to you, coming clean didn't destroy my marriage or my career. I told my husband mostly because we don't keep secrets from each other. It's a foundation of our marriage. But it's almost like reasonable adults put blame only where it's deserved, on the cheater. My Phil is pissed, and simultaneously devastated, and plans to get his ducks in a row before serving her with papers. Update 2, April 17, 2025. So, here is an update. My Phil did end up confronting my mill shortly after my post.

He brought the proof that my husband found, his positive STI results, a copy of their pre-nup, and the divorce papers. From what he told us when he came over for dinner after, he was calm and just laid it all out on the table, literally. She obviously knew she was caught and just asked how he found out. He said it wasn't important and outlined what the next steps would look like. He was willing to make some concessions on their pre-up if she would come clean about everything and stepped down quietly. I think he was so hurt by it all and he loved her so much that he just wanted this to be done and over, and he did still want to care for her. She fought for a bit but relented, so the divorce should go smoothly. She stepped down willingly from the business

and moved out, but he did offer spousal support in their vacation home which she moved into, both things that were not included in the pre-nup. My Phil has spent a lot of time at our house or going out with my husband golfing or hiking. He's heartbroken and worried that it's all going a little too smooth, that she will suddenly change her attitude. But I personally think she just knows she got caught and messed up past any fixing it.

I'm struggling to come to terms with that version of her versus the one I got to know and love. But there's nothing I can do but be there for my Phil and husband. The two are really leaning on each other which is heartwarming for me to see. She reached out to me to apologize for putting me in the position and hopes we can still have a relationship. So at some point she found out that he found out from me. I told her not right now, but I don't know what will happen in the future, but my husband is my number

one priority right now.