Reddit Stories - Cil stated she escaped from a violent spouse and required TEMPORARY ACCOMMODATION. FOLLOWING

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #domesticviolence #support #advice #helpSummary: Cil stated she escaped from a violent spouse and required temporary accommodation. Following her post on Reddit, users offered emotional support, practical advice, and resources to help her navigate this challenging situation.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, domesticviolence, support, advice, help, escape, temporaryaccommodation, emotional, practical, resources, navigate, challenging, situation, spouse, usersBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Sil stated she escaped from a violent spouse and required temporary accommodation. Following two months of her inviting unfamiliar males over and a single law enforcement event, we uncovered the true identity. Problem was, Hi everyone. I need to get this out somewhere because I don't know who else to talk to about this, and I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I'm using a throwaway account for privacy. I'm 34 years old and my husband, let's call him Mark, 35, and I have been married for eight years. We own our home, have stable jobs and generally live a quiet, predictable life, which is how we like it. The main person in this situation is Mark's younger sister, Chloe, 29. Mark and Chloe have never been particularly close. It's not one specific huge event, more like years of personality clashes, different life choices, and what Mark describes as Chloe's tendency towards drama and self-sabotage. They were civil during required family events before we moved across the country five years ago, but they rarely spoke otherwise. Mark's parents enable Chloe quite a bit, in his view,

which has always been a source of friction. Mark generally kept his distance for his own peace of mind. We hadn't seen Chloe in person since our move, though we heard occasional updates through Mark's parents, usually involving some new crisis or job she'd quit or relationship drama. About two months ago, Mark got a call from Chloe late one night. She was crying hysterically, saying she'd finally left her husband, David. They'd been married for about two years. We knew very little about him. Chloe wasn't great at keeping anyone informed unless she needed something.

She claimed David was controlling and emotionally abusive, and that things had escalated, making her fear for her safety. She said she packed a bag and drove off, ending up in a motel a few towns away from where they lived, which is several states away from us. She said she had nowhere else to go, couldn't possibly go to her parents because David knew people in their town, which sounded odd,

and asked if she could come stay with us just for a little while, just until she could get back on her feet. Mark was hesitant. He remembered all the past issues with Chloe, her unreliability, her tendency to leave messes for others to clean up. But the story she told was alarming. The thought of his sister, estranged or not, being potentially unsafe and alone was distressing for him. I felt terrible for her too. The idea of anyone fleeing an abusive situation is awful. We talked about it for a long time. Mark felt obligated, and I agreed that providing

a safe temporary refuge seemed like the right thing to do. We figured a few weeks, maybe a month at most, would give her time to figure out her next steps, find a job, maybe get some counseling. We agreed she could come. Chloe arrived two days later, looking exhausted and carrying one suitcase and a backpack. For the first week, she was very quiet. She stayed in the guest room mostly, slept a lot and seemed genuinely shaken. She didn't talk much about David or the specifics of the abuse unless prompted, and even then, her answers were somewhat vague, focusing more on how scared she was and how controlling he was about money and her friendships. We tried to be supportive, giving her space but also letting her know we were there. I cooked meals, Mark tried to gently ask

about her plans, suggesting resources for job hunting or support groups. Then, things started to change, slowly at first. Around week two, she started talking about needing to relax and forget. This translated into her buying a couple of bottles of wine. Soon, it was a nightly occurrence. She'd stay up late in the living room watching TV and drinking after Mark and I went to bed. We started finding empty bottles left out, glasses sticky with wine residue on the coffee table. She also started asking to borrow money. First small amounts, $40 there, for essentials or bus fare to look for jobs, though we rarely saw evidence of active job searching. She claimed David had frozen their joint accounts. Later she said they never had

joint accounts. He just controlled her access to her own money. Mark gave her some cash initially, feeling guilty about her situation. By week three, her behavior escalated. She began going out. She wouldn't say where, just that she was meeting a friend or clearing her head. She'd come back late, sometimes clearly intoxicated, stumbling slightly or talking loudly on her phone in the hallway. One night, around 2 a.m., Mark and I were woken up by banging sounds. We went downstairs to find Chloe trying, and failing, to quietly unlock the front door, having forgotten her key.

She laughed it off when she saw us, saying she just needed some air. The house smelled of alcohol. The messiness increased too. The guest room started looking like a disaster zone, clothes piled up, used dishes left for days. The guest bathroom was constantly cluttered with her makeup, wet towels on the floor. We tried talking to her gently about cleaning up after herself, house rules, being considered about noise late at night. She'd apologize, maybe make a small effort for a day, then fall back into the same habits.

The requests for money became more frequent and for larger amounts. She claimed she needed clothes, toiletries, money for job applications that required fees, which sounded suspicious. Mark started saying no, telling her she needed to manage whatever money she had and focus on finding work. This led to sullen silences or passive-aggressive comments from Chloe about us not understanding what she'd been through. The situation really started to feel unsustainable around week six.

Chloe announced she'd gotten a part-time job waitressing at a bar. We were initially relieved, thinking this was a step towards independence. However, it just seemed to give her more cash for partying. She started going out almost every night after her shifts or on her nights off. Twice in the past two weeks, she has brought strangers back to our house late at night. Not just friends, but men she apparently just met at the bar where she works or other bars she visited after her shift. The first time, Mark and I woke up around 3 a.m. to loud talking and laughter downstairs. Mark went down and found Chloe in the living room with a man neither of us

knew, both of them drinking beer. Mark was furious. He told the man politely but firmly that it was late and asked him to leave. He then told Chloe in no uncertain terms that bringing strangers into our home without permission, especially late at night, was absolutely unacceptable. Chloe got defensive, saying she was an adult, it was just a friend, and Mark was treating her like a child. The argument got heated before she stormed off to her room. The second time was just three nights ago. Similar situation, different man. This time, they were quieter, but I got up to use the bathroom around 4 a.m. and saw her letting someone out the front door. When I confronted her the next morning, she initially denied it, then said he was just walking her to the door, then finally admitted he'd been inside for just a few minutes.

She accused me of spying on her. Adding to this, we've started noticing inconsistencies in her story about David. When Mark gently pointed out a contradiction, she got flustered and changed the subject or accused him of siding with David. Mark and I are constantly stressed. We talk in hushed tones in our bedroom about what to do. do. Mark feels incredibly conflicted. He hates what's happening. He's angry at Chloe's behavior and disrespect for our home and rules, but the abused sister narrative still holds some power over him. He feels guilty kicking her out if she truly has nowhere safe to go. I understand his conflict, but my sympathy has worn thin, replaced by frustration and a growing suspicion. Her current behavior doesn't align with the image of a terrified victim trying to rebuild her life.

It feels more like someone running away from responsibility and using a horrible accusation as a shield. Our home doesn't feel like our own anymore. We are on edge, waiting for the next incident. Chloe alternates between being overly sweet, usually when she wants something, and being sullen and defensive. She avoids Mark and me as much as possible unless she needs money or wants to complain about her job or how unfair her life is.

The current situation is this. Chloe is living in our house, working sporadically at a bar, spending her money on going out, drinking heavily, disrespecting our rules, bringing strangers home, and showing increasing inconsistencies in her story about escaping an abusive husband. Mark and I are at our wits' end. Our patience is gone, and my belief in her victim's story is seriously shaken. I feel awful even doubting someone who claims abuse, but her actions are making it harder and harder to believe. The stress is affecting our marriage, our peace of mind, and our sense of security in our own home. Am I a terrible person for seriously doubting Chloe's story about David?

Any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated. Update 1 Thank you to everyone who responded to my original post. Reading your comments and messages was incredibly helpful, partly because it validated that my suspicions weren't completely out of line, and partly because it gave me perspective on how serious this situation had become. I appreciate people sharing their own experiences and advice. A few clarifications based on common questions. Mark and Chloe's estrangement. Some ask for more detail. Their relationship has always been strained. Mark sees Chloe as someone who has

always manipulated situations and family members, especially their parents, to get what she wants, often leaving chaos behind. She's cycled through jobs, apartments, and relationships, frequently needing bailouts from their parents. Mark distanced himself years ago because he found her constant drama exhausting and didn't want to be drawn into rescuing her repeatedly. Their parents often smoothed things over or made excuses for her,

which frustrated Mark further. This history is why he was initially hesitant, but also why the abuse claim hit him hard. It felt like the one scenario where he was, he had to step in. Mark stands now, Mark is no longer making excuses for Chloe. Seeing her behavior firsthand, especially bringing strangers home, has eroded his sympathy significantly. The conflict I mentioned earlier was more about the guilt associated with potentially abandoning an abused sister. Now, he's mostly angry and agrees Chloe needs to leave, but he was struggling

with how to do it without concrete proof she wasn't in danger if she left us. He worried about backlash from his if they kicked out the victim. Chloe's specific behavior, people asked for more examples. The drinking isn't just wine anymore. We found empty vodka bottles hidden in the guest room closet. The fights mentioned are usually her yelling loudly on the phone, often about money or someone supposedly wronging her, or getting into argumentative, circular conversations with us if we try to enforce a boundary, like cleaning up or not borrowing money. The money she spent seemed to go entirely to clothes, makeup, ride shares, and drinks at bars, nothing indicating saving for an apartment or long-term needs. The strangers were men she met while out, she didn't seem to know their last

names. Reading the comments solidified a thought that had been growing in my mind. I needed to know the truth about her marriage. Her story had holes, and her current behavior seemed inconsistent with someone traumatized and trying to rebuild. The idea that she might be lying about something as serious as abuse, and using that lie to manipulate us, felt awful but increasingly plausible. Several comments suggested trying to verify her story, perhaps by finding the husband, David. I felt a huge amount of internal conflict about this. It felt like going behind her back, potentially interfering in something complex. But the situation in our home was untenable, and Mark and I couldn't make a clear decision without knowing if the foundation of her presence here,

the claim of abuse was true. If she was telling the truth, we needed to approach her departure differently, perhaps with more focus on resources and support. If she was lying, then the immediate removal felt more justified and necessary. I decided I had to try. I felt Mark shouldn't be the one to do it, given the family dynamics. It felt like my responsibility as the person whose home and peace were being equally disrupted, and perhaps as someone slightly more removed emotionally from their family history. So, I did something I never thought I'd do. I went on Facebook. Chloe isn't very active, but she does have an old profile. I scrolled through her friends list, looking for anyone named David with a connection to the area she used to live in. It took some time,

cross-referencing photos and locations she'd vaguely mentioned. Eventually, I found I found a profile for a man named David with a last name whose profile picture showed him with Chloe, looking like a couple, dated about a year ago. His location matched where she said they lived. My hands were shaking. I hesitated for a long time, maybe an hour, just looking at his profile. Then, I took a deep breath and sent him a message through Facebook Messenger. I kept it simple and direct.

I introduced myself as Mark's wife, Chloe's sister-in-law. I explained that Chloe had been staying with us for nearly two months after leaving him, claiming she was fleeing an abusive situation. I said her behavior here was causing serious problems and that there were inconsistencies in her story. I asked if he would be willing to talk to me, just to understand what had actually happened. I didn't accuse Chloe in the message, just stated what she had told us and that we were trying to understand the situation. I hit send and felt sick to my stomach.

I honestly didn't expect a reply. or maybe expected an angry one. But about three hours later, my phone buzzed. It was a message back from David. He said he was shocked to hear Chloe was saying he was the abuser. He sounded, relieved, almost, to have someone reach out. He agreed to talk. We ended up messaging back and forth for over an hour that evening.

I won't detail everything he said, but the summary is starkly different from Chloe's story. According to David, Chloe was the one with the volatile behavior. He described constant verbal and emotional outbursts, accusations, jealousy, and controlling behavior directed at him. He mentioned instances of her throwing things never hitting him, but damaging property, excessive drinking that led to fights, running up debt on credit cards he was paying off, and threatening to leave or harm herself if she didn't get her way. He said she often disappeared for days after arguments, going to stay with friends or family,

likely her parents, without telling him where she was. He said the final incident before she left involved her getting drunk at a friend's party, starting a loud argument with him in front of everyone, and then disappearing. He came home to find her gone, with a note saying she was leaving him because he was suffocating her. He hadn't heard from her directly since, but her parents had called him, angry, accusing him of unspecified mistreatment based on whatever Chloe had told them. He had no idea she was claiming physical abuse and seemed genuinely appalled. He provided specific examples and dates for some events that matched things Chloe had vaguely referenced, but from a completely different perspective.

His story aligned disturbingly well with the behavior we were seeing now. After the conversation ended, I just sat there for a while, processing it. It wasn't relief I felt, exactly. It was a cold kind of anger and a sense of clarity. I screenshot the entire conversation, just in case. Then I went and found Mark, who was working in his home office. I told him I needed to talk to him, close the door, and explained what I had done. I showed him the messages.

He read them in silence, his expression shifting from surprise to anger to something that looked like weary resignation. He wasn't angry at me for contacting David. He just said, quietly, I knew it. I knew something wasn't right. I should have trusted my gut about her. He was angry at Chloe for the lie, for manipulating us, for putting us through this. He was also angry at himself for letting the abuse claim override his better judgment.

We talked for another hour. There was no more conflict between us about what needed to happen. We agreed Chloe had to leave, immediately. The question was no longer if, but how to manage her exit, especially given her potential volatility. We decided to sleep on it and confront her together the next day. Update 2. This update covers the events of the weekend immediately following my previous update,

just a few days after I spoke with David and Mark and I decided Chloe had to leave. After Mark and I talked late that night, let's say it was a Thursday night, the atmosphere in the house shifted subtly. We didn't tell Chloe immediately about the conversation with David. We needed a plan. and we wanted to present a united front when we confronted her. We decided to wait until Saturday morning, giving us Friday to prepare mentally and practically,

like figuring out what we'd say, anticipating her reaction. However, I think Chloe sensed something was off. Mark and I were civil but distant towards her on Friday. We didn't engage in small talk, didn't ask about her day, and answered her questions politely but briefly. She seemed a bit more subdued, maybe slightly. wary. She didn't go out Friday night, which was unusual. She stayed in her room mostly. We hoped this meant the confrontation on Saturday might be less dramatic than anticipated.

We were wrong. Saturday arrived. Our plan was to talk to her after breakfast. However, events overtook our plan. Chloe woke up late, around 11 a.m. She came downstairs looking like she hadn't slept well but also seemed as to her. agitated. She mentioned she was going out to run errands and meet a friend for lunch. She borrowed $50 from Mark before we could even start the conversation we planned. He gave it to her, partly out of habit, partly because we were both thrown off by her abrupt departure and didn't want to start the confrontation as she was walking out the door. She left around noon. We spent the afternoon tense and waiting. Mark called his parents to give them a carefully

worded heads up, basically saying things weren't working out with Chloe. Her behavior was causing serious issues beyond just needing a place to stay, and that she would likely need to make other arrangements very soon. He didn't mention the contact with David or the lie about abuse yet, wanting to handle Chloe first. His parents predictably expressed concern for Chloe and seemed skeptical, urging Mark to be patient. Chloe didn't return in the afternoon, or the early evening. Her shift at the bar didn't start until 7 p.m. that night. Around 6 p.m., she texted Mark saying she'd met up with some people and would head straight to work from where she was. We didn't hear from her again until much later.

Around 1.30 a.m. Sunday morning, Mark and I were woken up by shouting from downstairs. Not just Chloe's voice, but a man's voice too, angry and loud. There were thuds, like something heavy hitting the floor or wall, followed by a a distinct crashing sound. We both jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. The scene in our living room was chaotic. Chloe was standing near the overturned coffee table, the source of the crash, presumably, yelling hysterically. A man we'd never seen before was standing near the front door, holding his hand to his face, shouting back at her. There was a broken lamp on the floor near the table. The air smelled strongly of alcohol. Mark immediately

between them, telling them both loudly to stop. He asked the man what was going on. The man, who looked shaken and angry, said he'd met Chloe at the bar where she worked. They'd gone to another bar after her shift, had drinks, and she invited him back to our place. He said they were talking in the living room when Chloe suddenly became angry over something minor, he said. He couldn't even clearly recall what. He claimed she started yelling, through the lamp, and then when he tried to leave, she lunged at him and scratched his face. He pointed to his cheek, and we could see visible scratch marks, bleeding slightly. Chloe started screaming that he was lying, that he had attacked her, that he was trying to

take advantage of her. Her accusations were wild and didn't make much sense. She looked heavily intoxicated and was gesturing wildly. The man insisted he just wanted to leave and that she was crazy. Mark tried to de-escalate, telling Chloe to go to her room and the man to wait outside while we figured things out. Chloe refused, continuing to yell accusations. The man refused to leave without ensuring we understood she had attacked him. The situation felt completely out of control and potentially dangerous. I looked at Mark, and we didn't even need to discuss it. While he kept trying

to keep Chloe and the man separated, I walked calmly to the kitchen counter, picked up my phone, and called 911. I explained briefly that there had been an altercation at our address involving a house guest and someone she brought home, and that the man was claiming he had been physically assaulted by the guest. I gave our address and confirmed our phone number. The dispatcher said officers were on their way. I am sorry I have to do this, but I will have to end the update here as I got work to do. We'll write a new update and post it in a few days. Update 3. It has been two weeks since the incident where I called the police.

The police arrived about 10 to 15 minutes after my call that Sunday morning. Two officers came to the door. Mark let them in. The scene was still tense. Chloe had stopped screaming but was now sobbing dramatically in a chair, while the man stood by the door looking anxious. The broken lamp and overturned table were still there. The officers separated.

everyone. One took the man outside to talk, while the other spoke with Mark and me in the dining room, and then attempted to speak with Chloe in the living room. Mark and I recounted what we knew. Chloe was staying with us, she brought the man home, we were woken by shouting and crashing sounds, we came downstairs to find them arguing, the overturned furniture, the broken lamp, and the man's claim that Chloe had assaulted him, along with the visible scratches on his face. We also stated Chloe was accusing him of attacking her, though we had not witnessed the physical altercation itself, only the immediate aftermath. We mentioned Chloe had been drinking. The officer taking our statement was professional and took notes. Meanwhile, Chloe's conversation with the

other officer was audible. She was tearful and claimed the man had gotten aggressive when she asked him to leave, that she acted in self-defense, and that she was scared. She emphasized again that was here because she'd fled an abusive husband, trying to paint herself as a victim. The officer who spoke with the man came back inside. It turned out the man, let's call him John, wanted to press charges for assault. He showed the officer the scratches again. The police took pictures of his face and the broken lamp slash disarray in the living room. They spoke with Chloe again, informing her that John wished to press charges. She became hysterical again, denying everything. saying it was his fault. Given the conflicting stories but the visible injury on John and the

signs of a disturbance, the police documented everything thoroughly. They informed Chloe that a report would be filed based on John's complaint, and the prosecutor's office would decide whether to pursue charges. Because it seemed to be a minor assault, misdemeanor level, and the primary aggressor wasn't immediately clear without independent witnesses to the physical contact itself, they didn't arrest Chloe on the spot. They didn't arrest Chloe on the spot. They did, however, take down all her information and John's information. They strongly advised John to leave the premises, which he readily agreed to. They also spoke firmly with Chloe about the seriousness of the situation and potential legal

consequences. After about an hour, the police left. As soon as the door closed behind the officers, the silence felt heavy. Chloe immediately turned on us, furious, accusing us of betraying her, of calling her. the cops on her, of siding with a stranger over family. Mark cut her off. He told her plainly, We know you lied, Chloe. We know you lied about David abusing you. We know you were the problem in that marriage. Chloe froze. Her face went pale, then read, What? How? You spoke to him? I stepped forward. Yes, I did. He told us everything.

It matches exactly what we've seen here. Mark continued, your behavior tonight, attacking someone you brought into our home, getting the police called. This is the end of the line. You used us, Chloe. You lied about something horrific to manipulate us into giving you a place to stay so you could continue behaving like this. You need to pack your things. Now, you are not spending another night in this house. Chloe started to argue, then cry, then.

then plead. She said we couldn't just throw her out, she had nowhere to go, her parents would kill her, David had ruined her life. We stood firm. Mark repeated, pack your bags. You need to leave. It was an ugly scene. She threw clothes into her suitcase, sobbing and muttering insults at us. She kept trying to engage us in arguments, bringing up past family issues, accusing Mark of always hating her. We refused to engage. We just stood there, waiting. It took her about an hour. She called someone on her phone, whispering furiously, presumably arranging a ride or a place to go. Finally, she dragged her suitcase and backpack to the front door. She gave us one last hateful look and said, You'll regret this. You'll see. Then she left, slamming the door behind her.

We watched through the window as she got into a car that pulled up a few minutes later. We didn't recognize the car. The immediate aftermath was quiet but incredibly stressful. The first thing we did was clean up the living room and put the broken lamp in the trash. The second thing we did, the very next day, was change all the locks on the doors. Mark called his parents later that Sunday to tell them exactly what happened. The lie about David and that we had confirmation, the incident with the man Chloe brought home, the police involvement, the assault claim against her, and that we had required her to leave.

As expected, they were initially shocked and disbelieving about the lie, then deeply upset about the police incident. There was some predictable but where will she go? She needs help. Talk. But Mark was firm. He told them Chloe's issues were beyond what we could handle, that she was. she needed professional help we couldn't provide, and that she couldn't stay with us after lying

and becoming violent. He suggested they encourage her to seek therapy and perhaps look into rehab, but made it clear our home was no longer an option. The conversation was difficult, and the relationship with Mark's parents is strained now. They seem to be blaming us, at least partially, for giving up on her. We haven't heard directly from Chloe since she walked out the door two weeks ago. We heard through Mark's parents that she is staying with them temporarily. They mentioned she is denying everything, claiming the man attacked her and that we overreacted and misunderstood her situation with David. We don't know if John followed through with pressing charges or what the status of the police report is.

We haven't been contacted further by the authorities. Our house is quiet again. It feels like ours again. But the whole experience has left a mark. It's unsettling how easily someone can leave a narrative of victimhood to manipulate others and avoid consequences for their own destructive behavior. Mark is dealing with the fallout with his parents, and we are both processing the stress and violation of the past two months.