Reddit Stories - Confessions at Midnight Reddit tales for sleeping ( Over 9 Hour Compilation ) - Episode #93

Episode Date: January 23, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #confessions #midnight #sleep #compilation #storiesSummary: Episode 93 features a collection of intriguing confessions shared on Reddit, designed to entertain and soothe listeners for one hour. Each story offers a glimpse into personal experiences, showcasing the diverse and often surprising nature of human behavior, making it perfect for late-night relaxation.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, confessions, midnightstories, sleeptips, storytelling, humor, personalstories, entertainment, podcast, relaxation, anecdotes, community, nightowl, listening, compilation, sleepaidBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

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Sil stated she escaped from a violent spouse and required temporary accommodation. Following two months of her inviting unfamiliar males over and a single law enforcement event, we uncovered the true identity. Problem was, Hi everyone. I need to get this out somewhere because I don't know who else to talk to about this, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm using a throwaway account for privacy.

I'm 34 years old. and my husband, let's call him Mark, 35, and I have been married for eight years. We own our home, have stable jobs, and generally live a quiet, predictable life, which is how we like it. The main person in this situation is Mark's younger sister, Chloe, 29. Mark and Chloe have never been particularly close. It's not one specific huge event, more like years of personality clashes, different life choices, and what Mark describes as Chloe's tendency towards drama and self-sabotage. They were civil during required family events before we moved across the country five years ago, but they rarely spoke otherwise. Mark's parents enable Chloe quite a bit, in his view,

which has always been a source of friction. Mark generally kept his distance for his own peace of mind. We hadn't seen Chloe in person since our move, though we heard occasional updates through Mark's parents, usually involving some new crisis or job she'd quit or relationship drama. About two months ago, Mark got a call from Chloe late one night. She was crying hysterically, saying she'd finally left her husband, David. They'd been married for about two years. We knew very little about him. Chloe wasn't great at keeping anyone informed unless she needed something.

She claimed David was controlling and emotionally abusive, and that things had escalated, making her fear. for her safety. She said she packed a bag and drove off, ending up in a motel a few towns away from where they lived, which is several states away from us. She said she had nowhere else to go, couldn't possibly go to her parents because David knew people in their town, which sounded odd, and asked if she could come stay with us just for a little while, just until she could get back on her feet. Mark was hesitant. He remembered all the past issues with Chloe, her unreliability, her tendency to leave messes for others to clean up.

But the story she told was alarming. The thought of his sister, estranged or not, being potentially unsafe and alone was distressing for him. I felt terrible for her too. The idea of anyone fleeing an abusive situation is awful. We talked about it for a long time. Mark felt obligated, and I agreed that providing a safe temporary refuge seemed like the right thing to do.

We figured a few weeks. maybe a month at most, would give her time to figure out her next steps, find a job, maybe get some counseling. We agreed she could come. Chloe arrived two days later, looking exhausted and carrying one suitcase and a backpack. For the first week, she was very quiet. She stayed in the guest room mostly, slept a lot and seemed genuinely shaken. She didn't talk much about David or the specifics of the abuse and less prompted, and even then, her answers were somewhat vague, focusing more on how scared she was and how controlling he was about money and her friendships. We tried to be supportive, giving her space but also letting her know we were there. I cooked meals, Mark tried to gently

ask about her plans, suggesting resources for job hunting or support groups. Then, things started to change, slowly at first. Around week two, she started talking about needing to relax and forget. This translated into her buying a couple of bottles of wine. Soon, it was a nightly occurrence. She'd stay up late in the living room watching TV and drinking after Mark and I went to bed. We started finding empty bottles left out, glasses sticky with wine residue on the coffee table. She also started asking to borrow money. First small amounts, $20 here, $40 there, for essentials or bus fare to look for jobs,

though we rarely saw evidence of active job searching. She claimed David had frozen their joint accounts. Later she said they never had joint accounts. He just controlled her access to her own money. Mark gave her some cash initially, feeling guilty about her situation. By week three, her behavior escalated. She began going out.

She wouldn't say where, just that she was meeting a friend or clearing her head. She'd come back late, sometimes clearly intoxicated. stumbling slightly or talking loudly on her phone in the hallway. One night, around 2 a.m., Mark and I were woken up by banging sounds. We went downstairs to find Chloe trying, and failing, to quietly unlock the front door, having forgotten her key. She laughed it off when she saw us, saying she just needed some air.

The house smelled of alcohol. The messiness increased too. The guest room started looking like a disaster zone, clothes piled up, used dishes left for days. The guest bathroom was constantly cluttered with her makeup, wet towels on the floor. We tried talking to her gently about cleaning up after herself, house rules, being considered about noise late at night. She'd apologize, maybe make a small effort for a day, then fall back into the same habits.

The requests for money became more frequent and for larger amounts. She claimed she needed clothes, toiletries, money for. for job applications that required fees, which sounded suspicious. Mark started saying no, telling her she needed to manage whatever money she had and focus on finding work. This led to sullen silences or passive-aggressive comments from Chloe about us not understanding what she'd been through. The situation really started to feel unsustainable around week six. Chloe announced she'd gotten a part-time job waitressing at a bar. We were initially relieved, thinking this was a step towards independence.

However, it just seemed to give her more cash for partying. She started going out almost every night after her shifts or on her nights off. Twice in the past two weeks, she has brought strangers back to our house late at night. Not just friends, but men she apparently just met at the bar where she works or other bars she visited after her shift. The first time, Mark and I woke up around 3 a.m. to loud talking and laughter downstairs. Mark went down and found Chloe in the living room with a man neither of us knew, both of them drinking beer. Mark was furious.

He told the man politely but firmly that it was late and asked him to leave. He then told Chloe in no uncertain terms that bringing strangers into our home without permission, especially late at night, was absolutely unacceptable. Chloe got defensive, saying she was an adult, it was just a friend, and Mark was treating her like a child. The argument got heated before she stormed off to her room. The second time was just three nights ago. Similar situation, different man. This time, they were quieter, but I got up to use the bathroom around 4 a.m.

and saw her letting someone out the front door. When I confronted her the next morning, she initially denied it, then said he was just walking her to the door, then finally admitted he'd been inside for just a few minutes. She accused me of spying on her. Adding to this, we've started noticing inconsistencies in her story about David. When Mark gently pointed out a contradiction, she got flustered and changed the subject or accused him of siding with David.

Mark and I are constantly stressed. We talk in hushed tones in our bedroom about what to do. Mark feels incredibly conflicted. He hates what's happening, he's angry at Chloe's behavior and disrespect for our home and rules, the abused sister narrative still holds some power over him. He feels guilty kicking her out if she truly has nowhere safe to go. I understand his conflict, but my sympathy has worn thin, replaced by frustration and a growing suspicion. Her current behavior doesn't align with the image of a terrified victim trying to rebuild her life. It feels more like someone running away

from responsibility and using a horrible accusation as a shield. Our home doesn't feel like our own anymore. We are on edge, waiting for the next incident. Chloe alternates between being overly sweet, usually when she wants something, and being sullen and defensive. She avoids Mark and me as much as possible unless she needs money or wants to complain about her job or how unfair her life is. The current situation is this. Chloe is living in our house, working sporadically at a bar, spending her money on going out, drinking heavily, disrespecting our rules, bringing strangers home and showing increasing inconsistencies in her story about escaping an abusive husband. Mark and I are at our wits end. Our patience is gone, and my belief in her victim's story is seriously

shaken. I feel awful even doubting someone who claims abuse, but her actions are making it harder and harder to believe. The stress is affecting our marriage, our peace of mind, and our sense of security in our own home. Am I a terrible person for seriously doubting Chloe's story of? about David? Any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated. Update 1. Thank you to everyone who responded to my original post. Reading your comments and messages was incredibly helpful, partly because it validated that my suspicions weren't completely out of line, and partly because it gave me perspective on how serious this situation had become. I appreciate people sharing their own experiences and advice. A few clarifications based on common questions.

Mark and Chloe's estrangement. Some asked for more detail. Their relationship has always been strained. Mark sees Chloe as someone who has always manipulated situations and family members, especially their parents, to get what she wants, often leaving chaos behind. She's cycled through jobs, apartments, and relationships, frequently needing bailouts from their parents. Mark distanced himself years ago because he found her constant drama exhausting and didn't want to be drawn into rescue. her repeatedly. Their parents often smoothed things over or made excuses for her, which frustrated

Mark further. This history is why he was initially hesitant but also why the abuse claim hit him hard. It felt like the one scenario where he had to step in. Mark stands now, Mark is no longer making excuses for Chloe. Seeing her behavior firsthand, especially bringing strangers home, has eroded his sympathy significantly. The conflict I mentioned earlier was more than about the guilt associated with potentially abandoning an abused sister. Now, he's mostly angry and agrees Chloe needs to leave, but he was struggling with how to do it without concrete proof she wasn't in danger if she left us. He worried about backlash from his parents if they kicked out the victim. Chloe's specific behavior, people asked for more examples. The drinking isn't just

wine anymore. We found empty vodka bottles hidden in the guest room closet. The fights mentioned are usually her yelling loudly on the phone, often about money or someone supposedly wronging her, or getting into argumentative, circular conversations with us if we try to enforce a boundary, like cleaning up or not borrowing money. The money she spent seemed to go entirely to clothes, makeup, ride shares, and drinks at bars, nothing indicating saving for an apartment or long-term needs. The strangers were men she met while out, she didn't seem to know their last names. reading the comments solidified a thought that had been growing in my mind. I needed to know the truth about her marriage.

Her story had holes, and her current behavior seemed inconsistent with someone traumatized and trying to rebuild. The idea that she might be lying about something as serious as abuse, and using that lie to manipulate us, felt awful but increasingly plausible. Several comments suggested trying to verify her story, perhaps by finding the husband, David. I felt a huge amount of internal conflict about this. It felt like going behind her back, potentially interfering in something complex. But the situation in our home was untenable, and Mark and I couldn't make a clear decision without knowing if the foundation of her presence here, the claim of abuse, was true. If she was telling the truth, we needed to approach her departure differently, perhaps with more focus on resources and support. If she was lying, then the immediate removal felt more justified and necessary.

I decided I had to try. I felt Mark shouldn't be the one to do it, given the family dynamics. It felt like my responsibility as the person whose home and peace were being equally disrupted, and perhaps as someone slightly more removed emotionally from their family history. So, I did something I never thought I'd do. I went on Facebook. Chloe isn't very active, but she does have an old profile. I scrolled through her friends list, looking for anyone.

named David with a connection to the area she used to live in. It took some time, cross-referencing photos and locations she'd vaguely mentioned. Eventually, I found a profile for a man named David with a last name whose profile picture showed him with Chloe, looking like a couple, dated about a year ago. His location matched where she said they lived. My hands were shaking. I hesitated for a long time, maybe an hour, just looking at his profile. Then, I took a deep breath and sent him a message through Facebook Messenger. I kept it simple and direct. I introduced myself as Mark's wife, Chloe's sister-in-law. I explained that Chloe had been staying with us for nearly two months after leaving him, claiming she was fleeing an abusive situation. I said her behavior here was causing serious problems and that there

were inconsistencies in her story. I asked if he would be willing to talk to. to me, just to understand what had actually happened. I didn't accuse Chloe in the message, just stated what she had told us and that we were trying to understand the situation. I hit send and felt sick to my stomach. I honestly didn't expect a reply, or maybe expected an angry one. But about three hours later, my phone buzzed. It was a message back from David. He said he was shocked to hear Chloe was saying he was the abuser. He sounded. Relieved. almost, to have someone reach out. He agreed to talk. We ended up messaging back and forth for over an hour that evening. I won't detail everything he said, but the summary is starkly different

from Chloe's story. According to David, Chloe was the one with the volatile behavior. He described constant verbal and emotional outbursts, accusations, jealousy, and controlling behavior directed at him. He mentioned instances of her throwing things never hitting him, but damaging property, excessive drinking that led to fights, running up debt on credit cards he was paying off and threatening to leave or harm herself if she didn't get her way. He said she often disappeared for days after arguments, going to stay with friends or family, likely her parents, without telling him where she was. He said the final incident before she left involved her getting drunk at a friend's party, starting a loud argument with him in front of everyone, and then disappearing. He came home to find her gone, with a note saying she was leaving him because he was suffocating her. He hadn't heard from her directly since, but her parents had called him, angry, accusing him of unspecified mistreatment based on whatever Chloe had told them. He had no idea she was claiming

physical abuse and seemed genuinely appalled. He provided specific examples and dates for some events that matched things Chloe had vaguely referenced, but from a completely different perspective. His story aligned disturbingly well with the behavior we were seeing now. After the conversation ended, I just sat there for a while, processing it. It wasn't relief I felt, exactly. It was a cold kind of anger and a sense of clarity. I screenshot the entire conversation, just in case. Then I went and found Mark, who was working in his home office.

I told him I needed to talk to him, close the door, and explained what I had done. I showed him the messages. He read them in silence, his expression shifting from surprise to anger to something that looked like weary resignation. He wasn't angry at me for contacting David. He just said, quietly, I knew it. I knew something wasn't right. I should have trusted my gut about her.

He was angry at Chloe for the lie, for manipulating us, for putting us through this. He was also angry at himself for letting the abuse claim over. override his better judgment. We talked for another hour. There was no more conflict between us about what needed to happen. We agreed Chloe had to leave, immediately. The question was no longer if, but how to manage her exit, especially given her potential volatility. We decided to sleep on it and confront her together the next day. Update 2. This update covers the events of the weekend immediately following my previous update, just a few days after I spoke with you. David and Mark and I decided Chloe had to leave. After Mark and I talked late that night,

let's say it was a Thursday night, the atmosphere in the house shifted subtly. We didn't tell Chloe immediately about the conversation with David. We needed a plan, and we wanted to present a united front when we confronted her. We decided to wait until Saturday morning, giving us Friday to prepare mentally and practically, like figuring out what we'd say, anticipating her reaction. However, I think Chloe since something was off. Mark and I were civil but distant towards her on Friday. We didn't engage in small talk, didn't ask about her day, and answered her questions politely but briefly. She seemed a bit more subdued, maybe slightly wary.

She didn't go out Friday night, which was unusual. She stayed in her room mostly. We hope this meant the confrontation on Saturday might be less dramatic than anticipated. We were wrong. Saturday arrived. Our plan was to talk to her after breakfast. However, events overtook our plan. Chloe woke up late, around 11 a.m. She came downstairs looking like she hadn't slept well but also seemed agitated. She mentioned she was going out to run errands and meet a friend for lunch. She borrowed $50 from Mark before we could even start the conversation we planned. He gave it to her, partly out of habit, partly because we were both thrown off by her abrupt departure and didn't want to start the confrontation as she was walking out the door.

She left around noon. We spent the afternoon tents and waiting. Mark called his parents to give them a carefully worded heads up, basically saying things weren't working out with Chloe. Her behavior was causing serious issues beyond just needing a place to stay, and that she would likely need to make other arrangements very soon. He didn't mention the contact with David or the lie about abuse yet, wanting to handle Chloe first. His parents predictably expressed concern for Chloe and seemed skeptical, urging Mark to be patient. Chloe didn't return in the afternoon or the early evening. Her shift at the bar didn't start until 7 p.m. that night. Around 6 p.m., she texted Mark saying she'd met up with some people and would head straight to work from where she was. We didn't hear from her again until much later.

Around 1.30 a.m. Sunday morning, Mark and I were woken up by shouting from downstairs. Not just Chloe's voice, but a man's voice too, angry and loud. There were thuds, like something heavy hitting the floor or wall, followed by a distinct crashing sound. We both jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. The scene in our living room was chaotic. Chloe was standing near the overturned coffee table, the source of the crash, presumably, yelling. hysterically. A man we'd never seen before was standing near the front door, holding his hand to his face, shouting back at her. There was a broken lamp on the floor near the table. The air smelled strongly of alcohol. Mark immediately stepped between them, telling them both loudly

to stop. He asked the man what was going on. The man, who looked shaken and angry, said he'd met Chloe at the bar where she worked. They'd gone to another bar after her shift. had drinks, and she invited him back to our place. He said they were talking in the living room when Chloe suddenly became angry over something minor, he said. He couldn't even clearly recall what. He claimed she started yelling, through the lamp, and then when he tried to leave, she lunged at him and scratched his face. He pointed to his cheek, and we could see visible scratch marks, bleeding slightly. Chloe started screaming that he was lying, that he had attacked her, that he was trying to take advantage of her. Her accusations were wild and didn't make much sense.

She looked heavily intoxicated and was gesturing wildly. The man insisted he just wanted to leave and that she was crazy. Mark tried to de-escalate, telling Chloe to go to her room and the man to wait outside while we figured things out. Chloe refused, continuing to yell accusations. The man refused to leave without ensuring we understood she had attacked him. The situation felt completely out of control and potentially dangerous. I looked at Mark, and we didn't even need to discuss it. While he kept trying to keep Chloe and the man separated, I walked calmly to the kitchen counter, picked up my phone, and called 911. I explained briefly that there had been an altercation at our address involving a house guest and someone she brought home, and that the man

was claiming he had been physically assaulted by the guest. I gave our address and confirmed our phone number. The dispatcher said officers were on their way. I am sorry I have to do this, but I will have to end the update here as I got work to do. We'll write a new update and post it in a few days. Update 3. It has been two weeks since the incident where I called the police. The police arrived about 10 to 15 minutes after my call that Sunday morning. Two officers came to the door. Mark let them in. The scene was still tense. Chloe had stopped screaming but was now sobbing dramatically in a chair, while the man stood by the door looking anxious. The broken lamp and overturned table were still there. The officers separated everyone.

One took the man outside to talk, while the other spoke with Mark and me in the dining room, and then attempted to speak with Chloe in the living room. Mark and I recounted what we knew. Chloe was staying with us, she brought the man home, we were woken by shouting and crashing sound. we came downstairs to find them arguing, the overturned furniture, the broken lamp, and the man's claim that Chloe had assaulted him, along with the visible scratches on his face. We also stated Chloe was accusing him of attacking her, though we had not witnessed the physical altercation itself, only the immediate aftermath. We mentioned Chloe had been drinking. The officer taking our statement was professional and took notes. Meanwhile, Chloe's conversation

with the other officer was audible. She was tearful and claimed the man had gotten aggressive when she asked him to leave, that she acted in self-defense, and that she was scared. She emphasized again that she was here because she'd fled an abusive husband, trying to paint herself as a victim.

The officer who spoke with the man came back inside. It turned out the man, let's call him John, wanted to press charges for assault. He showed the officer the scratches again. The police took picture. of his face and the broken lamp slash disarray in the living room. They spoke with Chloe again, informing her that John wished to press charges. She became hysterical again, denying everything, saying it was his fault. Given the conflicting stories but the visible injury on John and the

signs of a disturbance, the police documented everything thoroughly. They informed Chloe that a report would be filed based on John's complaint, and the prosecutor's office would decide whether to pursue charges. Because it seemed to be a minor assault, misdemeanor level, and the primary aggressor wasn't immediately clear without independent witnesses to the physical contact itself, they didn't arrest Chloe on the spot. They did, however, take down all her information and John's information. They strongly advised John to leave the premises, which he readily agreed to. They also spoke firmly with Chloe about the seriousness of the situation and potential legal consequences. After about an hour, the police left.

As soon as the door closed behind the officers, the silence felt heavy. Chloe immediately turned on us, furious, accusing us of betraying her, of calling the cops on her, of siding with a stranger over family. Mark cut her off. He told her plainly, we know you lied, Chloe. We know you lied about David abusing you. We know you were the problem in that marriage. Chloe froze. Her face went pale, then red. What? How? You spoke to him? I stepped forward. Yes, I did. He told us everything. It matches exactly what we've seen here. Mark continued, your behavior tonight, attacking someone you brought into our home, getting the police called. This is the end of the line. You used us, Chloe.

You lied about something horrific to manipulate us into giving you a place to stay so you could continue behaving like this. You need to pack your things. Now, you are not spending another night in this house. Chloe started to argue, then cry, then plead. She said we couldn't just throw her out, she had nowhere to go, her parents would kill her, David had ruined her life. We stood firm. Mark repeated, pack your bags. You need to leave.

It was an ugly scene. She threw clothes into her suitcase, sobbing and muttering insults at us. She kept trying to engage us in arguments, bringing up past family issues, accusing Mark of always hating her. We refused to engage. We just stood there, waiting. It took her about an hour. She called someone on her phone, whispering furiously, presumably arranging a ride or a place to go.

Finally, she dragged. her suitcase and backpack to the front door. She gave us one last hateful look and said, You'll regret this. You'll see. Then she left, slamming the door behind her. We watched through the window as she got into a car that pulled up a few minutes later. We didn't recognize the car. The immediate aftermath was quiet but incredibly stressful. The first thing we did was clean up the living room and put the broken lamp in the trash. The second thing we did, the very next day, was change all the locks on the doors. Mark called his parents later that Sunday to tell them exactly what happened. The lie about David and that we had confirmation,

the incident with the man Chloe brought home, the police involvement, the assault claim against her, and that we had required her to leave. As expected, they were initially shocked and disbelieving about the lie, then deeply upset about the police incident. There was some predictable but where will she go? She needs help. Talk. But Mark was firm. He told them Chloe's issues were beyond what we could handle, that she needed professional help we couldn't provide, and that she couldn't stay with us after lying and becoming violent. He suggested they encourage her to seek therapy and perhaps look into rehab, but made it clear our home was no longer an option. The conversation was difficult, and the relationship with Mark's parents is strained now. They seem to be blaming us,

at least partially, for giving up on her. We haven't heard directly from Chloe since she walked out the door two weeks ago. We heard through Mark's parents that she is staying with them temporarily. They mentioned she is denying everything, claiming the man attacked her and that we overreacted and misunderstood her situation with David. We don't know if John followed through with pressing charges or what the status of the police report is. We haven't been contacted further by the authorities. Our house is quiet again.

It feels like ours again. But the whole experience has left a mark. It's unsettling how easily someone can leave a narrative of victimhood to manipulate others and avoid consequences for their own destructive behavior. Mark is dealing with the fallout with his parents, and we are both processing the stress and violation of the past two months. I hope you enjoy this story. Close companion has been informing my relatives that he still harbors romantic feelings for me and is encouraging me to end my marriage. all while cohabiting with his romantic partner whom he is deceiving. Look like me.

I'm struggling with figuring out how to start this, so I guess I'll just start with context. Obligatory apology long post, I'll try to keep it semi-brief but there's a lot. I, F-28, have been friends with Blake 28M for about 10 years now. We met when I was traveling for a new job out of state, and I kid you not immediately became best friends in the week that I was there. Same interests, great energy and conversation, we just clicked.

We were friends for nearly two years before trying the dating thing. It lasted three months, important, during which Blake did not treat me well due to unresolved issues from prior relationships. Before I could end it, he decided to end it himself as he had feelings for someone else. Fine with me, we were clearly better as friends. I took some space because he hadn't been treating me well, he got to. into therapy and apologized for being Shty, and was willing to put in the work to regain my trust for our friendship, which he did, consistently, over the eight years since. Fast forward to now,

I'm now happily married to my wonderful husband, Cam, 28M, together for six years, married for two years. Blake and I are still best friends, he and his ex after our brief dating stint broke up, and he is now with a wonderful woman Kaylee, 21F, for almost two years now, started to be. He and he is now, dating a few months before my wedding, this is important. Kaley and I are also good friends. She's the sweetest person. Blake also lives in the same city as me now after his mother passed. Having moved down here for a better support network, his girlfriend moved in about nine months ago. In the past six months or so, things have been strained with Blake. My husband is very introverted, and Blake started voicing frustration about his inability to be

closer friends with Cam and feeling like he bothers Cam. He and I also started having weird tiffs, kind of subtle negs slash belittling comments slash et cetera. Then my husband and I came over to a game night for Blake's birthday three months ago, during which Blake picked fights with me about very weird things, for example my career path and how I'm going about it wrong, making comments like I guess if you want to stunt yourself in life, you can do it that way, etc. Both my Cam and I were caught very off guard, and after several attempts to shut it down, made excuses and headed home. Later, Blake proceeded to send me a text asking if I was okay BC the vibes felt off, to which I was like a no-kitting, and explained my issue. He decided to reply with,

an email, who uses email anymore. Eight long paragraphs about how he felt he and his experience slash knowledge was dismissed in our discussion, how he felt ganged up on when Cam would defend my side, and how he felt like he can't be himself around me and Cam anymore. He also made comments voicing that he didn't feel like he could trust me B.C. I tell Cam everything, not true, I always ask before sharing unless it's a danger or moral issue. And that he thinks I'm unhealthfully codependent on Cam because whenever Blake and I hang out one by one I'm always calling to let Cam know how late I'll be out or check if I'm cool to pick up takeout. We're married with joint finances, Sue me. I replied trying to clarify my

end as well as understand where the ever-loving hell this all was coming from. But no matter how many times I tried, we kept going in circles. The emailing back and forth, during which he demanded we not meet up till this was resolved, lasted till about two weeks ago, when I said I needed time to think about how to reply next. About a month ago I got into therapy BC. It was seriously messing with my head and making me feel like I was a problem and like I couldn't talk to anyone about this BC we share much of our support system. I finally broke down to my sister when she came over to see why I hadn't been answering her, or really anyone, yay anxiety, lately. She is also friends with Blake through me. I let her read the emails, and she got pretty ticked on my behalf,

and then proceeded to drop a hell of a bombshell on me and Cam. Blake is apparently still in love with me and hates Cam's guts. Apparently, when she drove to pick up Blake out of state for our wedding, he was a groomsman, he confided in her and her husband that he didn't agree with the wedding and wished I would break up with Cam and give him another chance. That were soulmates and Cam isn't the one for me. Blake has heard me talk since day one about how happy Cam makes me and how safe and loved I feel with him. My sister shut it down, but even better, Blake proceeded to do the same thing when she drove him back home after our wedding. He ended off saying he just needed some time. So my sister kept her mouth shut BC she knew that he's my best friend and hoped she could trust him to resolve it

over time since he lived far away. Blake then moved near me about a year ago, and Kaylee moved in the August after. My husband's and my wedding anniversary is in October, and apparently Blake called my sister's husband too, again, confide that he's still in love with me and wishes I would divorce Cam B.C. he would be a better husband to me. While living with Kaylee, who he's told me is his soulmate. This was about when all the stress started, so she never found a good moment to bring it up. As if to ice the cake, Kaylee and I have been keeping up via text through all this, again, we're friends. During the past few weeks, I learned some odd things, Kaylee got new piercings, reportedly encouraged by Blake to do so BC she looks so cute, a double-nose piercing and septum,

which possibly coincidentally Blake took me to get as a post-wedding gift two years ago. Blake apparently has beef with the month of August and so has decided their anniversary will be in October. The reason he gave was because it's spooky month, but Cam and I started dating and got married that month. I also, at my sister's prompt, went back and checked when Blake and I broke up, August 2017. Again, possibly coincidental, but feels very odd as I don't know why else he would have an issue with that month. It's also worth noting Blake had another relationship fall apart, because the girl was outright convinced Blake was cheating on her with me to the point of blasting me for weeks as some homewrecker. Cam and I always chalked it up to her insecurity, but now I'm

wondering if she was just watching Blake carry on some weird, one-sided emotional affair. I love my husband more than words can say, and he makes me happier than anyone I've ever met. He's my ultimate best friend. Learning all this has made me feel so gross and like a horrible wife, though Cam has been wonderfully supportive and doesn't blame me at all. All this to say, I'm ending our friendship, but have no clue how. I feel like I have to tell Kaylee as this has all happened during their relationship and living together and the woman deserves the world, but also recognize I have no real proof beyond spoken accounts besides the weird emails, it sounds like some wild conspiracy theory or soap

opera. My therapist is on vacation, so I'm on my own after learning all this. I'm also realizing just how manipulative Blake has been for years given this context, and already feel shaky about confronting him given my serious confrontation anxiety, which he knows about and could easily try to exploit. I'm realizing more and more that he has massive control issues that I dismissed his anxiety for years. The fact that he lives so close now fills me with dread rather than joy. I want to come out of this with no regrets, knowing I stood up for myself, and that I put a decisive end to this. I want Blake to know his actions and creepy ulterior motives

are the reason our decade-long friendship is dead. I've never ended a friendship also a bit of an introvert, and this is basically friend breakup on steroids. How do I break this lunacy to Cayley in a way that sounds remotely believable given the front Blake has built? I also would love some advice on how to go about telling Blake I know everything and we're absolutely done. Additional info from OOP.

So, I'm working right now and not replying to other comments till later due to time constraints, but thought some clarifications could do well given this comment. 1. There is no sexual past. Blake and I did not sleep together. Again this was only a three-month relationship. Not everyone hooks up. The most we ever did was kiss a few times upon visiting due to long distance.

And again, this was eight years ago. Two, this isn't the only friend I've briefly dated that I'm still in touch with. Hell, Kim actually does have close friend that he also dated back when he was in college for about six months as well. She and I are really close as well, and Cam and I are godparents to her child. Genuinely, both of us are very secure in our relationship and don't take issue with it. We're also both into all genders, so opposite sex doesn't really mean much to us for friendships. It's all just people. Three, my sister and I are in talks over this. I didn't feel it relevant to include in post, but we'll hear. I let her know how upset I was over her

keeping this from me, and she broke down apologizing for it and recognizes she messed up. She also has severe anxiety, and thought it had resolved until the second time Blake reached out to her husband, during which time she was going through a lot herself personally. She was intending to tell me next we spoke around the time I fell off communicating from the stress of it all. We're working through this separately. As for your summary, having gotten a restraining order on a different X, it's not very easy to get one. I will definitely if I have two, but jumping straight to that doesn't seem feasible. The cop scare tactic is definitely not a bad idea to keep in my pocket, though, thank you.

As for your frankly polarizing view on myself and my marriage, I didn't come here to ask for advice or opinions on my marriage. My husband has been amazing and very adamant that I know he is mad at Blake for being a creepy lying jerk and not me. He knows full well that I have eyes only for him and never once doubted that before nor after all this. You can think whatever you want of me or my marriage, but I did want to throw that out there. The feeling like a terrible wife I mentioned is because I feel like I've been blind this whole time, especially as I fully acknowledge how cliche this all sounds. Whether that's true or not, I know my marriage is solid and secure,

and I in no way spad in anyone's face. Update, April 24, 2025. Hello, everyone. Well, I was definitely not expecting to be making an update slash full. follow-up post when I made my original post. Admittedly, my original post blew up far more than I ever anticipated. I've made many posts over the years, including this one, and typically I get a handful of kind-hearted Redditors' input before it dies into obscurity LOL. So this was definitely new to me. I'm endlessly thankful for all the wonderful people who offered comments of care,

support, and advice. Some of the comments were so invaluable and I can't thank you all enough. I did decide to delete the original post, largely to protect my peace as it was surprisingly anxiety-inducing to have half a million views on one of the most surreal moments of my life, and partially as protection as there were many specific details that could easily be identified if seen by someone who knows the details IRL. Now that that's aside, the update, I decided to talk to Kaylee after all. I asked to meet up and treated her to coffee and pastries, and then disclosed everything I knew. She listened, even reaching over to hold my hand when she saw me shaking, and thanked me for telling her.

In short, she has decided to stay with Blake for now, but is moving forward with this in mind, as is her right to decide. She wants to stay friends with me, and fully understands that I want nothing to do with Blake and why, as well as to not share any info about me with him, and that there'll be some distance for a bit. This is where y'all might yell at me. But I did confront Blake in person. This was mostly due to the fact that I wanted to get it out of the way right after talking to Kaylee without raising alarm bells, and meeting up under the guise of talking it out in person was the easiest way to do that. My husband went with me, though the conversation was just between Blake and myself. I took several safety precautions as well, such as secretly recording the interaction. Initially, Blake started in on classic Darvo, saying he didn't remember saying those things to my sister, etc., and then remembered certain things but it.

in different contexts. He even tried spinning it back on me several times. I shut all that down as well as any excuses slash justifications given, and firmly landed my point that regardless of intent or reasoning, his actions are wildly inappropriate and inexcusable. After dismantling enough of the excuses, he actually offered several apologies owning up to his actions. Whether he meant them or not, I don't know nor care, but it was semi-cathartic for sure. He insists, everything with Kaylee is coincidental, but either way that is between them at this point. The conversation ended with him saying he didn't want to lose our friendship. That he was willing to take a friendship break for a bit, establish better slash firmer boundaries.

That he feels he's in a better place to be more honest. That now, he was aware of the issue and would pay more care in not breaking my boundaries. I shut him down, saying that ship sailed long ago, and it shouldn't have to take me saying I'm done for him to put effort into respecting me. He then said he'd respect my decision to end our friendship, but begged me to at least keep an open mind at possible future reconciliation. I was pretty much done at this point and told him flat out that these are the consequences of his own actions, that I can never trust anything he says or does ever again, and that even if in some alternate universe I was open to that, he would be an acquaintance, and certainly would never ever be

my best or even close friend again. He went quiet and teary-eyed after this, I assume because he knew things were coming to a close. I stood up, he asked me for one last hug. I said no, reached out to shake his hand, and left without looking back. Which felt kind of badass. Until I got down the block and round the corner and had the panic attack that had been looming all day, L.O.L. Win some, lose some. Overall, though, I think this went as well as it could have.

I'm not letting my guard down yet, juist in case. but it's a relief that it's finally, seemingly, resolved. Admittedly, I'm not doing, great, but I know I will be okay. Cam helped me realize I'm basically mourning the death of a decade-long friend. While Blake himself may not be dead, the Blake I knew is, so I'm trying to give myself some grace in processing through this. Cam has decided tonight as reserve for tacos, cake, and video games together for some dopamine, and we're both calling into work tomorrow after this chaos.

Thank you again to all those who offered kindness and support on my last post. I don't think I would have had nearly the confidence and composure I had today if not for you all. May your pillow always be nice and cold, your food the perfect temperature, and your life full of joy and peace. Next story, Stepson uninvited me from his wedding after his bio mom offered to pay for it. And now he's crying because his siblings are refusing to attend unless I come for context. I've been married to my husband for just over 20 years. We started dating when my stepkids were five and three. Our kids are, Adam, 28, step kid number one, Ben, 26, step kid number two, Charles, 20,

David, 17, and Ellie, 13. Adam is getting married at the end of summer to his fiancé Alice, 27. We have all been very excited for them. All of the kids have roles for the wedding, Charles is the best man, the other two boys are groomsman, and Ellie is a junior bridesmaid. Last weekend we had a dinner for my husband's birthday, all of the kids attended along with Alice. The topic of the wedding came up again, and this is where it started to go downhill. Ellie brought up that she was so excited to go dress shopping and that we planned to go to a bigger city in a few weeks to get her a dress and me a stepmom of the groomed dress. At that, Alice looked at Adam's sideways and responded that we only needed to worry about one dress, Ellie's.

Ellie kind of laugh and said, What are you expecting mom to wear? A suit? Alice responded with, My name, isn't going. You know we are keeping our guest list very limited to only family and a few close friends. What? Adam and Alice have been to our house numerous times for holidays, dinners, just to say hi since they've been engaged. this has never been brought up. Pretty quickly things escalated.

The Cliff Notes version is that Charles asked them to clarify if they were choosing to un-invite me now or if I was never invited. Alice confirmed the latter. Why? Adam said it's because I'm not his mom. Charles, David, and Ellie argued with Adam and Alice that none of them were going to go if I wasn't invited.

That it was cruel to leave me out given I've been his parent for a majority of his life and loved him like my own. My husband and I admittedly sat there for a minute just fucking shocked. Adam finally turned to my husband and said, well, my husband told him he wouldn't be going either. Adam then turned to me and asked if I was really going to let everyone ruin his wedding on my behalf. Here's where I might be the asshole, I just laughed. I quit came over me but the entire thing was just so ridiculous that laughing was the only thing I could get out.

I told my husband I'd be waiting in the car and left. and then promptly bawled my eyes out. Anyways, Charles, David and Ellie are not talking to Adam. Adam called my husband yesterday to try and smooth things over. He was still Adam and I'm not invited and it's their wedding. He also requested I apologize for laughing at him. My husband told him tough shit. It's their wedding and they can invite whoever they want,

but they can't control who will actually go. He said they owe me an apology and and that Adam should be ashamed of himself. I'm getting texts now asking WTF I did and why I'm being a step monster and ruining the wedding Ida. More info on everyone's relationships. It was hard to include every bit of context in the post because of the character limit, but I quit my job when Charles was six months old. Adam would have been eight, almost nine, no affair.

I met my husband when he'd been divorced for over a year. Biomom was engaged to someone else. If you ask their bio-mom, she'll say I've always overstepped. If you ask her how, she'll give examples like I went to school events, so did stepdad, I helped with homework, I spent too much time with them. She would thank me for loving her kids so much and then turn around and berate my husband for me loving kids that aren't hers too much. Another example is that in the beginning she wanted to communicate with me directly more.

Said she loved the communication and that I was easier to deal with than my husband. Next argument with my husband she brought up that I was weird and too involved and she shouldn't have to talk to me whatsoever. I haven't talked to her since. Periodically she has brought up that I was easier to talk to and she doesn't understand why communication just has to go through my husband. After several years of trying to appease her, we quit to just focus on keeping our family happy and supported. It's been 23 years now of dealing with her, I've been to therapy multiple times to resolve whatever issues she says I have. It did help with strategies to deal with her. Truly it's just that she has mental issues.

Their dad did work a lot, he has always been on nights. It's changed slightly over the years but we had stepkids Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every other Monday. His days off have always fell over those days so he can spend the max amount of time with, but usually he worked one to two of those nights. Very rarely would he work OT on days we had my stepkids, usually on days we'd didn't. We still currently try to do dates on days when Ben is not with us. I hope that makes sense and clears up some questions for you. Update, April 23, 2025. Hi, Reddit friends, I do have an update. Thank you to everyone who responded to my post. Most of you were kind and offered good

advice. I appreciate it. Before I give an update, I just want to answer a few frequently asked questions. I am not an a fair partner. My husband did not cheat on his ex-wife with me, we met about a year after they divorced. She was already engaged, not to current stepdad, not that that really matters. Ben was at the dinner, he is autistic. I went into it more in some of my comments, but he was very upset. He doesn't understand what the argument was exactly about, but he was mostly upset at Adam for saying I'm not their parent and then at all the siblings for fighting with each other. Anyways, the update. The short is, if you guessed it was related to Bi-O-Mum, you were correct. I didn't want this to be the case. Adam rescheduled with

Charles for Monday, citing Easter weekend, fair enough. He also texted my husband to let him know that him and Alice would be doing Easter with her parents, we expected that. At some point on Sunday, Ellie texted Alice. I am not sure what exactly was said. but it prompted Alice to spill everything that was going on with her parents. I have met them a few times, but they live a few hours away. They encouraged her and Adam to reach out to us to clear everything up. Monday we dropped Ben off to Biomums, he stayed an extra night for Easter fun. A few hours later, she began to blow up my husband's phone as Ben mentioned the fight.

My husband answered one call in which she was screaming and promptly hung up. He texted her that the siblings argued, everything is fine, and that if Ben has any further questions we will talk about when he's back with us. From some of the things she texted, we knew she was the root of all of this. Monday Adam also met up with Charles, and he did come clean. Charles texted us to see if it was okay if they came over after and we said yes. I'm not going to lie, Adam looked a mess. He immediately began crying and apologizing.

The short and sweet is that he's been trying to mend bridges with Biomomom. Their wedding isn't 60 people, it's blown up to about double that and they have been struggling to figure out how to pay for it. At one of their visits, Alice let it slip and Biomum jump to help pay for things. It slowly snowballed from there from small requests to big requests. I am not sure what the final nail in the coffin was, but it ended with Biomum requesting I not be there. Adam said it was easier to hurt me and risk World War III with his mom. Alice's parents were less than pleased to find out how they've been with the wedding slash budget, and even less so at Biomum's antics. They are trying to figure out how to start covering the payments

Biomum has made, we've decided to help some with this. Adam also asked if we could meet again in a few days with Alice and we've said yes. There is still a lot of ground to cover for this to be close to mended. I am still hurt, but mostly, I'm angry on behalf of my oldest son. I hope you enjoy this story. Closest companion from early years and my partner engaged in a secret relationship, and later I discovered her mother was also attempting to entice my father following an extended period. Family friendship My 23F friend Marie, same age, was like a sister to me.

We have known each other since we were four. We were partner in crimes, we knew everything about each other. We even decided to become each other. other's kids' godmother. When I was 17, I started dating a guy from my neighborhood, Lucas. He was also my father's friend's son. That's how we met. I had a crush on him since I was 15. Marie knew about it. In fact, she was the one who insisted I talked to him. She encouraged me to ask him out. I did. We started dating at 17. Everything was good. I thought I found my soul. soulmate. But I noticed something different when we were on our fourth year of relationship.

He acted kind of distant. I thought the pressure from university is stressing him out. I tried to cheer him up and try to be intimate, but he would just brush it off. At one time I accidentally looked at his phone while I was trying to make a call. I came across hundreds of messages between him and Marie. They also sent each other's nudes. I felt really disgusted. I couldn't. confront him because I knew he would deny. Then one day I went to his house to surprise him. There I saw Marie and Lucas, were almost naked on the couch. They were probably in the middle of foreplay when I walked in. They were both shocked to see me, as if they saw a ghost. I cannot explain

the rage I was feeling. I felt like I am about to faint. Instead I went out. They both tried to chase me down with the classic it's not what it looks like. Oh, really? You guys are naked cuddling and eating each other's faces. I wonder what it is. I was thankfully with my sister who saw me coming. I told her to take me home. There I cried with my sisters, I have two. I told them everything. They were really empathetic. They asked me if I have screenshots. I told them yes. They told me to keep it and also told me to message him and my friend that we are done. I did as they told me. According to my sister's advice, I told all our mutual friends about it. It was a chaos. I was broken and devastated. I would cry all day and not eat.

I was betrayed by my best friend and the love of my life. But somehow betrayal from Marie really hurt the most. After digging up in the drama that transpired, I got to know how disgusting and vile Lucas was. I cannot list everything here because of word limit. I came to realization that he had so many red flags that I ignored. That kinds helped me to heal. Lucas also came to my house few times, but my sister told him if he keeps bothering us she will call the cops. My father knew about all of this and was very supportive. I didn't want him to stop his friendship with Lucas's dad but Lucas cannot be in our house anymore. I will not be in the same room as him. It took me a while but I healed. I did lose a lot of friends because some of them took Marie's side

and have like two good friends who actually helped me. Plus I was very thankful to have two amazing sisters. I went out with my friends, started working out, even some forums helped me. I stayed away from dating for a year. I am currently happy and in a relationship with someone. I thought I left the whole thing behind. But my mom keeps insisting I forgive Marie. You see, Marie's mom and my mom are really good friends. After I told my mom about Marie's betrayal, she was supportive but also sad that she might have to stop talking to her friend. I told her not to. Regardless of what Marie did, her mom is very sweet. She even apologized from her behalf. I was never rude to her when she came home, but Marie is also not allowed in our

house. Now my mom thinks I should forgive her. She always says to Marie's mom that they wish things went back to the way they were. My mom kept pushing that I forgive her and not ruin our friendship over a stupid boy. I mean, why should I? She knows I hate people who betray and cheat. Yet she did it behind my back. She claims just because I am in a relationship. She claims just because I am in a relationship I should just forget otherwise I will become a bitter person. My sisters are on my side. My father says the decision is up to me. I don't know what I will do. Yes, I do miss what Marie and I had, but I still haven't forgiven her for what she did. It just hurts knowing my mom wants me to forgive after knowing everything that has happened. Just to add more context. One. Marie and Lucas

hooked up on her birthday when she broke up with her ex. She did tell me she is sorry and things just happened. She was lonely and he was there to comfort her. Two, in case you're wondering what Lucas did and why he had red flags is because he criticized me a lot. It was either about my looks or my ambitions. I once told him I want to write a book and he mocked me. I brushed it off since he had a dark sense of humor. Three, Lucas kept a spreadsheet of all the girls we knew in our circle, even at his university. He would rate them based on their looks. It was shared among his friends. Yes, I was on that list too. It made me really insecure. Four. Some of my and Marie's mutual friends knew about their affair but kept it away from me. That's why I cut a whole lot of them off.

Update 1. Few days ago when I posted this, many people asked for an update. So here it is. I knew I cannot allow Marie in my life. No matter what mom says. But something weird happened that I had to post an update. This is going to be long. So I went home this week.

My older sister was already there. She told me my mom wanted to invite Marie and her mom into our house. My dad refused because he doesn't want to betray me. I was angry at my mom for how she could do it to me. We all sat down. I told my mom how it felt to be betrayed by my friend. I told her that I am not asking her to stop seeing Marie's mom, but she should just stop forcing me to be friends with her.

It's not going to happen. Even if I forgive her, I will not be her friend. She will not be welcomed in our house. She got mad and said we should learn to let go of the past. I also asked her what if Marie's mom had an affair with Dad and you walked in on them while they were doing it. I expected her to be mad but her expression was shocking. I don't know how to describe it. It is as if I predicted something. My dad stepped in and said, you should tell her now. She is old enough to know. Then I heard the entire history of Mom, Dad, and Marie's mom.

Marie's mom was a serial cheater. She cheated on her. her ex-husband with multiple men. My mom didn't know. She did have hints but never confronted her. Apparently she got pregnant with AP's baby and tried to pass it on as Marie's father's. But Marie's father was smart. He did a DNA test on the baby, Marie's half-brother, and the truth came out. My mom did berate her for that, but Marie's mom was very remorseful. She begged and pleaded with her husband to stay, but her husband didn't. I looked up dude on social media and he is filthy rich. Probably Batman kinder rich without all the gadgets. He hired a lawyer and also had a pre-nup. Marie's mom didn't get a single dime for alimony, but he did pay child support for a while.

He didn't wanted the custody because Marie technically knew about her mother's affair but didn't say anything. Marie was seven when it happened. She would always talk about her dad number two. I never knew. Probably because I thought that she was talking about her uncle or something. Marie's dad only got the visitation which he wanted. But Marie's stopped going when she turned 15. My mom helped her get back on her feet because she was broke and Marie's child support only supports her only and not the entire family.

Three years after their divorce Marie's dad got married again to someone younger than Marie's mom. I also dug up his name and saw that he was happy with his new family. family. So the day he got married Marie's mom went into deep depression. She was very much drunk and that bitch tried to make a move on my dad. My dad pushed her away. My dad told my mom but she denied something like that happened until Marie's mom called and apologized for her behavior. She forgave her. But according to my dad and older sister, she would still make excuses to get closer to Dad. My sister spent their time keeping her away from Dad. Dad never liked her for what she did. Her husband was my dad's business partner at that time. Dad only tolerated her for mom and my

sake. So back to our conversation, I looked at my mom and she told me that it was different because my dad never had an affair. I asked if she would have forgiven her if the affair happened. She was silent. I asked her to give me an actual reason why she thinks I should forgive Marie. Then she told me the truth. Marie's mom has been sort of blackmailing mom to cut off contact with her. My mom doesn't have many friends in town. Marie's mom was her best friend. According to her logic, she cannot be in a house where her daughter is not invited. Also, as I mentioned in one of the comments, my mom had a miscarriage when I was four years old. Marie's mom helped her a lot during that time.

When my mom was jaded, she would clean her house and bring Marie. That's how we became friends. L.O.L. My mom pretty much saw Marie as her fourth child. She was probably trying to fill the space that her miscarriage left. So losing Marie felt like losing her baby again. That's why she wants us to reconcile. Not because of Marie, but also because she is afraid her friendship will come to an end. I was very upset by it, but I understood her.

I told her Marie's mom is welcome here anytime, though I have no respect for her now, but Marie will not set foot in this house. And told her to get therapy because she had a very unhealthy attachment to Marie. I was conflicted. I was disappointed in Marie's mom. She seems like a really nice lady. When Lucas cheated on me, I remember crying to her. She consoled me and felt genuinely sorry. So I did something out of the blue.

I texted Marie's mom that I want to meet her alone. We went to a public place. My sister knew. She told me to record the conversation. It is not illegal here. So I met her. I told her everything my mom told me. I also told her that she is welcome in our house, but she cannot bring Marie.

She didn't try to argue. you. She told me she should have known. She never wanted her daughter to become like her. Her infidelity has made her life hell. Marie could have had a beautiful childhood if she never cheated on her husband. Her husband was a great guy. She still feels guilty about doing this to him. She wishes she could go back in time and undo her mistake. I said that even though I don't have the same amount of respect for her, I don't mind having her around. My family is okay. with that. The woman started crying. She finally spilled the beans after a year. She told me she knew about Marie and Lucas. She knew Lucas was cheating on me with Marie. She told her daughter to

stop it but Marie said she is only FWB with Lucas. And they will stop in a few weeks. Her mother told her that if she continues this, then she better conceal it properly. She only allowed this because she knew her daughter had an obsession with Lucas. She thought it would help M to get this obsession out of her system. I was fuming. I wanted to yell, but I kept my cool. She knew this entire time and not once she mentioned it. I asked her about her flirting with my dad.

That's when she showed me what a snake she truly is. I pressed her and berated her for trying to destroy my mom's marriage. Once she had enough, she yelled that my mom doesn't deserve any of this. She is very lame and boring. She was only friends with her because she pitted her. My mom comes from a poor household. She doesn't have much education. She went to a very underfunded college, but Marie's mom went to a prestigious college.

She is not even at her, Marie's mom, level. She said my dad doesn't deserve a street rat like her. I wanted to leave, but I wanted to take everything on the recording. But I had enough. I told her more or less yelled at her that she is not welcome in our house. She is a liar and a cheater and so is her daughter. I cannot believe this woman. She has been manipulating my mom all this time.

As soon as I got home, I told my mom everything about this. My mom refused to believe her friend would say something. My sister, who is a freaking genius, played the audio. I now understand why she told me to record. After hearing the entire thing, she grabbed her phone and called her. She yelled. I could hear words like S-L-U-T-W-H or in my native language. She said that if she sees her again, she will rip her eyes out.

It was kind of shocking. One minute she was praising her and then she was yelling. But moreover, I am happy she cut off all the toxicity. I feel bad for mom. I can relate because we both lost our close friends. We sat down and chatted. She told me how being a psalm was difficult for her to make friends with. M was her close friend. She always looked up to her because she was really popular in our community. She wanted to be like her. My dad always disliked that. My mom also told me that she is sorry,

that she was selfish. She enabled her so far that she hurt her own daughter. She feels guilty. I understand her. My dad said that she is putting her on therapy because she clearly has some trauma from her miscarriage and also from her childhood. I told her that she can still make great friends. She cut off all her friends from Marie's mom. I told her to try and reconnect with them. I am also going to spend some time with her too in case she doesn't feel alone.

All of this drama has made me realize I have a great dad. I have a newfound respect for him. Even when he was vulnerable, he never gave in to Marie's mother's flirting. He helped my mom when she had a C-section with me. He understands that being a psalm is difficult. He loves her regardless. Many people speculated if my mom is a cheater or not, but let me clarify, it is not the case. She is very loyal to my dad.

She was the oldest of seven siblings and she had to keep her family together at all cost. Hence, her pressure to me for forgiving Marie. Also as for my ex, he texted me on my birthday last month. He wished me a happy birthday and said that he was sorry for what he did. He also said that Marie is a great girlfriend who helped him after our breakup and helped him heal. There was like an entire paragraph of him praising Marie. And to quote him, I do not regret loving you. It is because of you I learned how to love.

That's why I'm able to become. such a good partner to Marie. I hope someday you will find someone good enough for you. I wish you all the best. What a clown. I showed this to my boyfriend. He laughed and said, I guess his wish has come true. I do not care if they marry or have like 100 babies. I am done with them. Someone pointed out that they did a huge favor because they are both trash and deserve each other. It's true. At least they won't be wasting other people's time with their toxicity. As for me, I am doing fine. I am planning a trip with my BF and friends after my finals. And thanks to all of you who messaged me and commented. Also, I'd give this counts as karma, but Marie got into a fight with one of her friends. She knew

about the affair. My friend went to a party this week. She told me Marie and a friend of hers had a fight. Apparently, that friend accused her of stealing her boyfriend. According to my friend, they were not doing anything other than chatting. The girl came onto him and said, well, I should have known, given your history as a man-stealer. This is now her reputation. Even if she tried to say she wasn't flirting, no one was buying it. L.O.L. Update 2. Just a quick recap, my 23F boyfriend, Lucas cheated on me with my best friend, Marie. who I have known since I was four. A lot of the people in my friend group knew about it.

It caused some drama and also revealed a lot of secrets in our family. Especially in my family. Not that exciting. It is almost two years since that happened and looking back I've come a long way. So, I just wanted to share my thoughts. D-Day, I think. I learned about their dirty dancing when I found her nudes on his phone. I didn't want it to believe him.

him. The day I went to confront them is the day I saw them almost naked doing foreplay. It just made me numb. Like it was a bad dream. Two people closest to me. My best friend who I trusted with all my heart, who has been there for me through every hardship and low in my life and the guy I thought was going to be my soulmate. I honestly thought we were going to be one of those couples who would be like high school sweethearts and live together for the rest of their lives. Well, that was my stupidity of trusting him and thinking life was like a fairy tale. When I saw them together, they were shocked. As if they saw a ghost. I didn't say anything. I just went outside and got into the car and told my sister to drive. After we got home, I cried as if someone I loved just died.

Everything I ever believed was a lie. My whole relationship felt like a lie. I had no idea what I would do next. I had my sister who comforted me. I was jilted. I couldn't eat. The image of them being naked and kissing just played in my head like a broken recorder. I wanted to shut my brain so that I don't think about it. I was like that for the first few months. It felt like they were mocking at me. Ha-ha, look at stupid throw would disappoint. She has no idea what we are doing. She is so dumb. Why did he do that? Was I never enough for him? I did everything for him.

I was never a nagging girlfriend. Even his friends liked me. Was all those four years a lie? All those times he told me that he loved me, the times when he would compliment me, was it all a lie? I kept finding faults in me. There must have been something I did. So anyways, I blocked the both of them from everything.

They tried to contact me. I shut them down because of them. I was not ready. If I saw any one of them, I would probably just commit a felony or worse. It took me a while. But I thought I should get my closure. So, I did contact them separately. I met Marie first. She said she was sorry and that she wanted to end things, but Lucas kept pursuing her. Her excuse was that she broke up with her boyfriend and then hooked up with Lucas because she was lonely. Yeah, you ruined my relationship because you were lonely. Some good friend you are.

Lucas's explanation was the one that broke me more. He did say he is sorry. But here were I messed up. I asked him, was she better than me in bed? His response was yes. He further told me sleeping with me was very bland. I had no boobs. It's almost like I am a boy.

I agree, I am a late bloomer. I am very skinny for my age. He told me I was prettier than Marie, but I was not as adventurous as she is. This created a whole new insecurity in me. I started to hate my body. I stopped looking at the mirror. I almost made a vow that I will become a nun and never have sex. Yeah, I was in a bad place.

I felt worthless to say the least. I lost all hope in me. I mean who wants to be with someone who is bad in bed? Red flags I ignored. I only realized about his red flags after I broke up with him. At one point he started to become distant. He would always be on his phone. He would never initiate intimacy and whenever I did, he would push me away.

Overall, he was a shitty person. He would hardly receive my calls when he was with her. Moreover, he would mock me. I am pursuing a career in computer science. He joked on some occasions how I will never never. make it because this field is not for girls. I laughed because I thought they were jokes. He also joked about how my wish to write a book one day was so stupid and unrealistic. He would make comments about my body. I started gaining weight due to my health condition. He would criticize

me for that as well. I also noticed he would check on other girls too. I'd give this counts as a red flag but had a lot of female friends. He would says they are his best friend. I always found that suspicious. I don't know why. After breaking up with him, I realized how shoo-tie he was to me. I was always the one trying to make efforts for him. He once forgot my birthday and made an excuse that he was busy at work. In reality, he just forgot. I didn't say anything because he compensated for that in the most mediocre way. How I moved on, I cried for many days. I remember that getting out of bed was really hard. I lost a friend and a boyfriend. Moreover, I lost a good circle because they knew about their affair and didn't tell me.

I had a large group of friends and now I was left with two. They are good people. But it hurts when I don't have my best friend with whom I shared almost everything. Guys, it is okay to mourn the relationship you lost. Give yourself the time to grieve. Don't take any huge steps during this period. Go ahead and cry and moan in your pillow. Eat whatever junk you want. But give it a time limit. I know that it doesn't happen.

But my sister told me to grieve for two months like this and then get my ass back in the real world. I agree, it took more in two months, but after two months I had to decide either I had to function whether or not I was ready. I tried to shift my focus from everything and into my studies. Even that was hard. I couldn't.

I still cried a lot. I would space out while doing something, thinking about all the wild sex they must be having. I went to therapy. It helped to an extent. I didn't date for like a year. I used that time to better myself. I learned how to code. I learned how to play keyboard.

It was a good distraction from everything. I also joined a gym because I was game. weight. My sisters and those two of my friends took me on a trip to the beach. We had a lot of fun. A change of environment was nice. I became much more closer to those two friends who I hardly talked in the past and apologized for not being a good friend. I was healing slowly. I got rid of every memory I possessed of him. I burned the bridges. I tried to rediscover myself. Lucas did came and said he wants to work things out. I guess Marie wasn't what he thought she was.

I was tempted to take him back. NGL, he was out of my league. But my sister handled it. She told him to never show his face otherwise she will call the police. I was in different forums asking for advice. I met some nice people who found better partners after being cheated on. That gave a bit of hope. I didn't engage in flings and ons.

I did once but it made me feel more empty inside. So, I never did that. Eventually when I felt ready after a year, I started dating someone new. Now we are together. Please don't do these. Don't think they're cheating is your fault. Don't go to social media to stalk them. I made that mistake.

Seeing Marie and Lucas posting intimate cute photos just felt like a bullet in my heart. I was tempted so I unblocked them to see what they are up to. Seeing them kissing and hugging just put me in the same pit. Don't compare yourself to others. I compared myself to Marie a lot. Just because someone looks different than you doesn't mean they are better. Four, don't do the pick me dance. Honestly, have some self-respect and don't be a dormant. I know cheaters insult to make you insecure but remember whatever a cheater says is a lie. So their perception about you is a lie. My uncle got cheated on by his wife multiple times.

He gave her two second chances she still left him broken. Now he drowns himself in alcohol. Cheaters don't deserve a second chance. Five, don't take them back. Like ever. They are like a tumor that is going to suck the life out of you. Six, don't do anything stupid. Like violence or deleting evidence.

Honestly, this more crucial for people who are married. Don't destroy evidence that you have of them. Use them. 7. Don't date if you are not ready yet. 8. Don't let them control the narrative. 9. Don't think your life is over and your time is wasted. I know it will go against almost everyone's ideology, but I learned a lot from this mess.

I learned who are my real friends, what red flags to avoid. The process of rebuilding myself from this wreck made me a better person. 10. Do not drink alcohol. I swear this is the worst thing that you can do not use any intoxicating stuff to forget the pain. Forgetting the pain for short moment is not the same thing as healing. Alcohol and drugs will not heal you. They will destroy you. Things I learned about myself.

After getting into a new relationship, I learned that I was not bad at sex. He was bad at communicating. I realized sex with Lucas was sort of robotic. Even if I would orgasm, it just felt mad. But my new boyfriend, he is better at communicating with me. We share out thoughts about intimacy. Our likes and dislikes. I realized that I might not be so bad at sex after.

I just had a bad partner. It is nice to have someone who actually listens and teaches you few tricks. I realized how much better I deserved. That the world I created in my head with Lucas was nothing. It was all a sham. I also learned never to doubt yourself or think you are less than someone. Honestly, that was a hard part. I am still insecure, but I am working on it.

I learned about my true potential. Lucas almost had me convinced I was too stupid to be good at anything. But I am good at multiple things after I explored a lot of hobbies. Also, I learned therapy works wonders if you find a good therapist. I had a bad one that was always criticizing me. After I changed to a good one, it worked like wonders for my mental health. I was doubting myself less. Things I learned about cheaters, they are very insecure people.

Nothing you ever do is going to be good enough for them. Everything they say is a lie. They try to manipulate the situation by saying monogamy is not a norm in nature. Yeah, Lucas tried to use it on me. It is better to just ignore them and pretend that they are dead. When cheaters are confronted with their actions, they always deny and gaslight and try to shift the blame. Remember, this is their tactic to win against you. Don't let them win.

They are selfish. They think they deserve the world. Their reality starts to shatter when you out them in public. They try to control the narrative. They try to make themselves look bad. good. For them you are a plan B, don't be with someone who looks at you like Plan B, sorry for this long post. I hope whoever reads this, I just want to say, it gets better. It is not your fault that they cheated on you. It's just their nature to be disgusting. Also, I see a lot of married people who stay for the kids

with their cheating spouses. I suggest you don't. You are teaching your kids a very wrong lesson that they should just settle for someone else's leftover and someone who is not faithful. You are teaching them it is okay to cheat because the cheaters suffer no consequences. For your own mental health, it is not good. If you are not in a good headspace, you cannot be a good parent either. I saw firsthand how attempting to reconciliation fails horribly. So I wouldn't recommend it. I hope you guys are doing well and surviving good.

I hope you find peace in real life. I hope you enjoy this story. Covertly departed from my partner's flat while he was at the fitness center for his morning exercise because his sibling despised me and alienated everyone from me. I'm, a 26-year-old female, departing. Mike, M. 31, tomorrow. I'm so damn tired of taking crap from his family while he won't lift a finger to at least stand up for me. Looking for some advice on whether I'm handling this the right way or if I'm just being a massive bit H about everything.

For context, we've been dating for about three years and living together for over a year. We met at a friend's birthday party where he spilled his drink on me, then insisted on buying me another one as an apology. He was charming and funny and we hit it off right away. I always thought we were solid until his family started showing their true colors, and he showed me exactly where I stand in his priorities. His sister has this strong personality that she is used in every way possible to destroy her own marriages. I'll call her Darla F-37.

She's articulate, learned a trait and is very outspoken. She could be out there making a living but she chose to be a stay-at-home mom, no job, fighting her ex for child support and using her sharp tongue to insult people. Every family gathering is like walking through a minefield with her. One wrong word and boom, you're the enemy for life. She has two kids, both under 10, who she uses as excuses for everything. Can't work because of the kids Can't clean her house because of the kids

Can't be on time because of the kids Somehow she has time to start drama on Facebook and get into fights with random people online She's always posting cryptic messages about fake people and knowing who your real friends are but never actually says who she's talking about She complains about being short of cash but turns away working opportunities that come her way I've seen people literally offer her jobs and she finds some excuse why it won't work.

Like Mike's uncle once offered her a receptionist position at his dental office with flexible hours and good pay, and she said no because she doesn't do well in medical environments. Whatever that means. You can't say anything without being worried that she will think it's about her and she doesn't respect other people's opinions. She's the type to make everything about herself. Like if someone mentions they're tired, she'll look at it. jump in with how she hasn't slept in days because of her kids. For example, she had a major

crisis a while back when her ex left her. She was triggered and alternated from tears to rage. Sometimes in the same conversation. It was actually kind of scary to watch. No one knew what to say to her without setting her off. She'd be sobbing one minute about how much she missed him, then screaming the next about what an asshole he was and how she never wanted to see him again. The whole family was walking on eggshells around her. I remember this one dinner where she showed up already in a mood. Mike's mom had made this big meal and invited everyone over to try to cheer Darla up. But Darla complained that the food was too spicy, it wasn't, that the music was giving her a headache,

it was barely audible, and that everyone was staring at her, nobody was. Then Mike's dad made some joke about the neighbor's new car being compensating for something, and Darla burst into tears saying everyone was making fun of her ex. It was exhausting. Their mom asked me for advice in terms of what to do because they were contemplating sending her to a mental clinic, but Darla refused. I said maybe she could use a distraction to help ease her pain.

I suggested maybe getting a part-time job could bring her back to herself and if she liked it, it would help her keep her mind off what was happening. I thought I was being helpful. The whole family was worried about her, and at a loss for what to do. At the time, his mom seemed to appreciate my input. She nodded and said, That's not a bad idea.

Something to get her out of the house. We even talked about specific places that might be hiring. I actually thought his mom and I were bonding over this shared concern for Darla. Days later, Darla decided that I was the enemy, that I had insulted her and that I implied that she was crazy and the root of her mental breakdown was her being jobless. Those were Mike's words when he came to talk to me about it. She started telling the whole family that I thought she was lazy and unstable.

She twisted my words completely. She also decided that I shouldn't talk to their youngest brother, Tim M. 30, and I both became her foe and lost Tim. We were friends in the same week. Tim and I were actually very good friends. He's the most normal one in the family and we could talk for hours about random stuff. His wife Sarah and I got along great too. We'd text each other memes and go shopping together sometimes.

His wife was almost always included in our interactions too. We'd have them over for dinner or meet up for drinks. It wasn't anything weird or inappropriate. But suddenly Mike says to me that Tim and I shouldn't talk so much because it was weird. What the hell does that even mean? The whole thing left me feeling embarrassed and like I'd done something dirty when I absolutely hadn't. I remember asking Mike directly, do you think there's something inappropriate going on between me and Tim? And he had the audacity to say, well, you two are awfully close.

Like being friends with your boyfriend's brother is some kind of crime. I reminded him that Sarah was usually there too, and he just shrugged and said, Darla thinks it's weird, and I kind of agree. After that, Tim stopped responding to my texts. Sarah unfollowed me on Instagram. It hurt a lot, especially since I thought we were genuine friends. I later found out that Darla had told them I was talking shit about their marriage behind their backs. Complete lies. But they believed her because she's family and I'm just the girlfriend. Mike supported Darla and told me I should apologize to her.

For what? For giving advice that his mother asked for? He said I didn't understand family dynamics and that his sister was going through a hard time. Yeah, no shit, we all knew that. But apparently the solution was to walk on eggshells around her and never suggest anything that might help her situation improve. I tried to explain to Mike how unfair this was, how I was just trying to help when his mom asked for my opinion. He said, you don't get it. Darla's always been sensitive.

You should have known better than to suggest she needed to work. As if suggesting a job as a distraction was some terrible insult. He kept saying things like that's just how Darla is and you have to understand how our family works. It was like he expected me to just accept being treated like garbage because that's how their family works. The worst part is that Mike never stands up for me. Not once. When Darla started spreading shit about me to the rest of the family, he just stood there and let it happen. When their mom started treating me differently, he said I was imagining things.

When I got uninvited from family events, he went and, without me and said I was being dramatic. I remember this one time we were supposed to go to his cousin's wedding together. I had bought a new dress and everything. Then two days before, Mike tells me that maybe it would be better if I didn't go because Darla is still upset and doesn't want any drama at the wedding. As if I'm the one who creates drama. I asked him if he was still going, and he said yes, of course, it's his cousin. So he went without me, posted a bunch of pictures of him having a great time with his family, and then came home drunk at 3 a.m. talking about what an amazing time it was. I felt so excluded and hurt. There was another incident at Thanksgiving where I spent hours

helping his mom cook, and then when we sat down to eat, Darla announced that she had reserved the seat next to their mom for Tim's wife. The seat I was about to sit in. I had to move to the end of the table next to some distant cousin I'd never met. Mike just watched it happen and didn't say a word. I'm sick of having to deal with Mike's attitude every time he visits his family. Our last big argument took place after he came back calling me controlling, because I asked him to stop drinking because he gets belligerent and has said very hurtful things, and a liar, when my arrhythmia got triggered after a huge argument and I asked him to leave me alone because I wasn't feeling well due to anxiety.

That night was particularly bad. He'd been at his parents' house for a family dinner that I wasn't invited to, surprise, surprise. He came home clearly drunk, stumbling through the door around midnight. I was already in bed but got up when I heard him knock over the lamp in the living room. When I asked him if he was okay to drive, he launched into this tirade about how I'm always monitoring him and trying to control his drinking. He knows about my heart condition. I've had it since I was a teenager. It's usually under control with medication, but stress and anxiety can trigger episodes.

That night, as he was yelling at me, I could feel my heart starting to race and flutter. I told him I needed to sit down, that I wasn't feeling well, but he accused me of faking it to get out of the conversation. Like, yeah, I'm totally manipulating my own heart rhythm. That's a skill I picked up. I ended up locked in the bathroom,

taking my emergency medication and trying to calm down while he banged on the door telling me to stop being so dramatic. When I finally came out, he had passed out on the couch. The next morning he barely remembered any of it and said I was exaggerating about how bad it was. We've been living together in his place for over a year. I don't have a lot of things to take with me, but I paid half of everything and paid for groceries in full and for the electricity bill. I even bought the couch we sit on and the TV we watch. I paid to have the bathroom retiled when the shower started leaking.

I bought new curtains for the living room. room and bedroom. I replaced the ancient microwave with a new one when it died. No matter how much I contributed, I wasn't treated like an equal and his mother told me, to my face, that no matter who or what happens, her son is clear about his main priorities. After this, I got the ick and decided to leave him. That conversation with his mother happened at her house. Mike had gone out to the garage with his dad to look at some car thing, and his mom cornered me in the kitchen. She She started off all nice, asking how things were going at my job, if I was enjoying living with Mike.

Then out of nowhere she says, you know, Mike's always been very family-oriented. His priorities are clear. The way she said it, looking me straight in the eye, it was obvious what she meant. I would never be a priority for him, not over his family. Not over Darla. I've been sleeping in the guest room for about two months. He thinks it's because I snore or say. some bullshit excuse I gave him. I told him I was going through a stressful time at work and needed

better sleep. The truth is I couldn't stand the thought of him touching me anymore. He has tried to initiate sex several times, coming into the room late at night or trying to corner me in the kitchen. I treat him politely, but I already lost my impulse to save our relationship. It's like a switch flipped in my head. There was this one night a couple weeks ago when I was in the kitchen making tea and he came up behind me and started kissing my neck. I just felt nothing. Actually worse than nothing. I felt repulsed. I made some excuse about having cramps and went back to the guest room. He got all huffy about it, saying I never want to be intimate anymore and asking if I was cheating on him. As if the only reason I wouldn't want to sleep with him is if I was sleeping with

someone else. The guest room has become my sanctuary in a way. I moved most of my clothes in there, my books, my laptop. I spend most of my time in there when I'm home. He's complained about it a few times, saying we're like roommates not partners, but he never asks why I might be pulling away. He never considers that his actions and his family's treatment of me might be the problem. I'm sad but looking forward to ending this. I found a new place and will move out after he goes out for his morning workout.

He's religious about his gym time so I know. I'll have at least two hours. He goes every morning at 7 a.m., comes back around 9.30 a.m. I already removed my documents and other important stuff and whatever I keep at his place fits into my car. I've been slowly moving things out when he's not around. I started looking for a new place about a month ago. At first I was just browsing listings, telling myself I was just curious about the market. But then I found this small one-bedroom apartment not far from my work. I signed the lease last week and got the keys three days ago. I'm planning on letting him know after I'm gone, but I never thought it would come to this and I'm a bit concerned.

Not that I'm trying to justify or protect him, but I know it will be a blow to his ego and I don't want trigger his emotional imbalances. I'm mentioning this because I've seen how he gets when his friends brush him off. He's the type who can't handle rejection. Like it all. I remember when his friend Jake stopped returning his texts after Mike's got too drunk at Jake's birthday and hit on Jake's girlfriend. Mike was obsessed with figuring out why Jake was ghosting him, constantly checking if Jake had read his messages,

driving by Jake's apartment to see if his car was there. It was honestly a bit scary. Also, his best friend from college cut him off a while back and he got depressed for weeks. They've been friends since freshman year, and apparently the guy got tired of Mike's drama and drinking. And another friend he was going to try and start a business with ended things and Mike was a little scared because he stopped eating and spent all of his free

time in bed. He didn't shower for like four days and his mom had to come over and basically force him to get up. I don't want to be responsible for him spiraling, but I also can't stay in this relationship anymore. The business thing was actually kind of a red flag I should have paid more attention to. Mike and this guy Chris were going to start some kind of home renovation business together. Chris had the skills and experience. Mike had some money. saved up. They were in the planning stages for months, talking about names for the company, looking at trucks to buy, all that. Then suddenly Chris backed out. Mike claimed it was because Chris got a better offer from some other company. But I later found out from a mutual friend that

Chris got tired of Mike changing plans, showing up late to meetings, and not following through on things he promised to do. I don't see anything that could be said to fix our relationship. Too much has happened and I don't think I can get past the way his family treated me and how he just let it happen. The trust is gone. The love is gone. All that's left is this hollow routine we're both going through. Edit, thanks for all the comments. Some of you are really harsh, LOL, but I appreciate the advice.

I'll update tomorrow after it's done. I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over. update I guess a lot of people wanted me to update so here goes I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over update I guess a lot of people wanted me to update so here goes I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over update I guess a lot of people wanted me to update so here goes I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over update, I guess a lot of people wanted me to update, so here goes. I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over.

I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over. I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over. I didn't expect over 60 comments on my original post. Really surprised at how many people are invested in my stupid relationship problems, L.O.L. First, thanks for the advice and tips. I changed my mailing address as soon as I found a new place. Some of you were right about that being important. I had a few packages redirected already.

I also made sure to update my address with my bank, credit cards, and other important accounts. Another thing I did was double check that all my important documents were together, birth certificate, passport, social security card, all that stuff. Found out my passport was expired but that's a problem for another day. I hardly got any sleep the night before because I was very anxious. Kept having these scenarios play out in my head where Mike would come home early or somehow figure out what I was doing. I think I maybe got two hours of sleep total. The plan was to leave in the morning but things got complicated.

Last night, he tried to initiate sex by coming into my room. Thankfully, I hadn't packed anything yet, kept all the unassembled boxes in my closet, so he didn't catch a glimpse of anything looking off. I did keep most of my things in that room and built a list of items around his place that I needed to load into my car. I've been updating it for weeks whenever I remembered something else I needed to take. Also, for those who were concerned about trackers, seriously, some of you watched too many crime shows, L.O.L. I took my phone to the IT booth at the mall to check for trackers, same for my car. Nothing, which was a relief.

I was probably being paranoid but better safe than sorry, I guess. The guy at the IT booth looked at me weird when I asked him to check for tracking software, but he did it anyway. Probably gets a lot of paranoid people in there. He left this morning for his workout around the usual time. I watched from the window to make sure his car actually pulled out of the parking lot. As soon as he was gone, I got to work. It's crazy how much stuff you can accumulate even when you think you don't have much. I immediately packed the boxes and my suitcases and took the rest of my belongings.

It was actually less stuff than I thought. Funny how after living together for over a year, all my stuff fit into my crappy Honda. I had to make two trips because I couldn't fit everything at once. I was so nervous the second trip that he'd come home early and catch me, but thankfully he stuck to his usual schedule. I did leave the couch and TV even though technically they're mine. not worth the hassle and I didn't want to give him any reason to claim I stole anything. Plus, I wouldn't have been able to move them by myself anyway. Before I left for the final time, I took one last look around the apartment.

I texted him about my decision once I was out and safely at my new place. I kept it brief, just said that things weren't working between us, his family situation was too toxic for me, and that I'd moved out. I said we could arrange a time to talk later if needed. but that my decision was final. He called me immediately, like within seconds of the text. I almost didn't answer but figured I owed him at least a conversation.

He didn't take it well. He accused me of being selfish, using his family as an excuse and sexually devalued me by calling me a cold fish for not wanting to have sex with him. He said I was frigid and that was the real reason our relationship had problems. Because apparently, a woman not wanting to sleep with a man who lets his family treat her like garbage is the real issue. Also, he had moments in which he apologized and begged me to reconsider but switched back to

hostility within the same call. It was weird, like talking to two different people. One minute he'd be saying how much he loved me and needed me, the next he'd be telling me I was a selfish bitch who never cared about him. It was emotional whiplash. He kept asking where I was, if I was with someone else, demanded to know my new address. I refused to tell him any of that information. He said he was coming home immediately and we needed to talk face to face. I told him that wasn't going to happen, that I'd said everything I needed to say. After almost half an hour of back and forth, I hung up because he was making me both nervous

and angry and I can't afford to allow this to affect my health. My heart was already racing and I was getting lightheaded. I took my medication and tried to calm down. My hands were shaking so badly I could barely open the pill bottle. Then nothing happened for like three days. I thought maybe he'd calm down. Maybe he'd accepted my decision and was moving on. Nope.

The text started coming in at all hours. Sometimes apologetic, sometimes nasty. He'd text at 2 a.m. saying he missed me, then at 6 a.m. calling me horrible names. It was exhausting just seeing the notifications pop up. His mom called me too, which I ignored. She left a voicemail saying we needed to talk about this situation and that I was breaking her son's heart. As if his heart is the only one that matters. Then Darla got involved, sending me this long, rambling message on Facebook about how I'd never deserved her brother and how the whole family was relieved I was gone. If they were so relieved, why wouldn't they just

leave me alone. I blocked everyone in his family, but I'll be changing my number soon just to be sure. I've also blocked them from my social media. Might even deactivate for a while just to get some peace. It's exhausting dealing with all this drama when I'm trying to settle into my new place and move on with my life. I'm exhausted because my condition causes fatigue if I don't rest properly for extended periods of time. The stress of all this has made it worse. I feel like I could sleep for a week. I've been trying to take care of myself, eating properly, taking my medication, getting some light exercise. But it's hard when my phone keeps lighting up with messages from Mike or members of his family using different numbers to get around being blocked. For now, I'll be

focusing on other things to avoid thinking too much. I'm not interested in dating because this has left me feeling very negative towards relationships in general. I think I'm good being single for a while. or maybe forever, who knows. The thought of going through all this again with someone else is just exhausting. Thanks again for all the advice. It really helped knowing I wasn't completely crazy for feeling the way I did. Sometimes when you're in the middle of a toxic situation, you start to doubt your own perceptions and feelings. Reading all your comments made me realize that my feelings were valid and I wasn't overreacting.

Edit, I've been getting some weird DMs from guys trying to. to comfort me or whatever, please stop. I'm not looking to date anyone right now, especially not random dudes from Reddit. Edit 2. Omg. Stop asking me where I live. I'm not going to tell Internet strangers my location, are you crazy? And no, I'm not posting pictures of my new place either. Some of you are creepy a.F. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my partner engaging in intimate chats during her regular match, so I eavesdropped by her secured entrance for a long time until I unraveled the reality about her gaming companion. I have been going out with my GF 25F for almost four years, and we've been living together

for a few months. She's funny and wonderful and kind and honestly pretty much everything I ever wanted in a girl. She's also a bit of a D&D-type nerd, which I don't think is a bad thing. It's good that she has her own friends and friends and how. She tried getting me into it, but I don't really get it. She tried teaching me about D&D, but there were just too many weird rules and dice, and I just didn't see the fun in it. We tried playing Baldur's Gate 3 together thinking it would be easier to get into for me, and for me to experience her world in a way, but I got really bored really fast, and at that

point it was just better to let her do her own thing. We've got plenty of other stuff we do together, and as I said it's not a big deal for her to have hobbies that don't include me. And she does love her hobby. She gets very excited about her weekly games and sometimes tells me about the epic adventures they go on, which admittedly sounds pretty fun secondhand but is not really for me. We live in a two-bedroom apartment, so we have a bedroom and a home office we share, where our laptops are. Her D&D games are online, and usually happen in the evening so I just hang out in the living room or go out when she plays to not intrude. But a few weeks ago I noticed that she locks the door when she plays. I thought it was a little weird because why would you lock

the door to play D&D? And it didn't sit right with me. So I did what I now think might have been very sad and pathetic, but I genuinely didn't know what else to do. The last few weeks when she had her game, I sat out in the hall by the door and listened. She uses headphones so I could only really hear her side of the game, and at first it was just some stuff about rolling dice, joking around with her friends, and spells doing whatever, but I kept at it. I sat there for four hours last week and over two hours this week, but eventually I heard it, she was talking about slash with another person and it was really romantic. It was tender, and very emotional. She legit said something like you know I love you, so I want to help you save your family or something like that,

in a clearly romantic way. It went on like that, like a clearly emotional discussion with a romantic partner that lasted a solid 15 minutes. Then it went back to other stuff, but by that point it didn't matter. I was really upset, and went back to the living room, and when she came out after session I confronted her. I told her I heard her talking and telling some guy how much she loved him, and how he was the only one who ever got through to her or something, so she would do anything for him.

She said I was taking it out of context and that it was just pretend and playing a character, but I told her it didn't matter. This wasn't some video game where her character was speaking written lines to another character with written lines who wasn't real. She herself was saying sweet, loving, romantic things to another real person. And it hurt to hear. It felt like cheating. She said it wasn't cheating, and her character wasn't her. She just did it for the drama, and thought, thought being romantically invested made her character better.

She also said that me sitting outside to listen in on her game was a violation of her privacy and showed that I didn't trust her, which was why she felt like she needed to lock the door in the first place. I apologized for that, but at the same time I said that me being wrong to eavesdrop doesn't justify what she did, to which she said that she didn't do anything wrong. It was just what the game was. And it was just a game, but that made me feel even worse. Maybe I'm being whiny or misreading it, but she is the first person I was ever really vulnerable

with like that, and the way she spoke to me when she told me how much she loved me, it was just so similar to the way she spoke as her character that it made me uncomfortable. It made me feel like something that was only mine and only for me was just given to someone else for a game. It felt like it cheapened it. Was she faking it with me? Was she genuinely feeling it for that other person? I don't know what exactly it is that's bothering me, because technically she's not wrong.

But I don't care if she's technically not cheating, I just feel like there are certain sides of my GF that should be reserved only for me, shouldn't there? I couldn't really verbalize it to her, and after a bunch of arguing back and forth with just went to bed. For the past few days we've been in this weird state of limbo where we're going on like nothing happened, but also there's clearly tension. Today I couldn't take it anymore and I said that we need to talk about it. I said that I understand her hobbies are important to her, but I am her BF and there should be

certain things that are just for me. I can't go on knowing that she's talking like that to some other guy. So I told her that I support her going on with the games, but I asked that she no longer lock the door and no longer do whatever romantic stuff she does in game. She said I didn't mind when she talked to me at length about her romance with that ST. guy in Baldur's Gate. I told her, again, that that is not the same. I don't mind her playing at romance with a bunch of pixels, and being moved by fiction, but that her D&D game isn't just fiction. It's her, telling those things to an actual person, and that bothers me,

so I want her to stop. She said I was being possessive and controlling, and that I can't tell her not to have hobbies or how to behave. I told her that's true, but if she doesn't understand how I feel about this we might not have a future together. She got angrier and said, I'm clearly not in a state to be having this discussion and will talk again when I've calmed down, and went to school, she's getting her MA, but in the time since I've been the opposite of calming down, I just get more upset the more I think about it. Clearly me being upset should at least make her consider stopping even if she isn't actually cheating outright. Shouldn't my feelings matter on this issue? But also, maybe I'm not being reasonable. Maybe I am overreacting. Help. Update, May 17th, 2025.

So having read the comments y'all gave, I thought I maybe was actually overreacting and I really did fuck up. Especially helpful I thought was a comment someone made about asking her about maybe keeping the door unlocked and being allowed to listen in on session to get context and learn to accept her hobby and let Het still enjoy it without me. Spiraling. So when she came home from school I made apology dinner, homemade pizza from scratch, her fave, and we sat down to talk. She started by demanding an apology because whatever else I had to say, eavesdropping, and not trusting her were huge fuck-ups on my part.

I agreed and apologized immediately because that was shitty behavior on my part, no question. That helped her be more open to hearing me out. So I said, more calmly and tactfully, that it bothers me that it bothers me that. she is simulating romantic love with a person I don't know and context I don't understand. I said that I can and do apologize for my actions, but I can't change how I feel, and that also needs to be discussed. So she asked what I had in mind. I told her that I think trust should go both ways, so me trusting that the game is just a game and it doesn't mean anything is well and good, but in return I'd like for her to keep the door unlocked and let me sit in on a few sessions.

I promise not to be disruptive, not to overreact or interrupt the game and to bring up any issues I had privately with her after the game was over. She seemed relived because she was worried I demand she dropped the game or break up with her, and said she personally didn't mind but she needed to bring it up with her group, which I thought was very reasonable. The rest of the evening, though, she was constantly on her phone, constantly getting Discord notifications and seemed more and more upset. This lasted for literally hours, well into the night, passed when I was asleep. I asked if anything was wrong and she said maybe, but not to wait up and she promised to tell me

everything in the morning. I didn't get much sleep but I also didn't want to pry too much having just promised not to. So come morning, when I asked what happened, since she clearly didn't get much sleep and was clearly nervous she said she brought it up with the group and reactions were mixed. I'm going to give these people fake names to keep track. So when she brought it up, everyone seemed okay with me listening and accept Joe. Joe is the guy whose character she had the romance with. Joe said in their group chat that he wouldn't feel safe acting, they call it role-playing, I guess. When there was a stranger in chat, and wouldn't participate in any game I was present for. This obviously made my GF respond that seeing the relationship between their characters was

the whole point of me listening in, to which he said I'm being unreasonable and violating his boundaries by making unreasonable demands. This was already pretty bad in my eyes, but then she told me about the private messages. After the group exchange she got three messages. One was from Joe. Joe wrote a long, really, really long message about how much he cared about her, and much it hurt him to see her dim her light to appease a controlling abusive boyfriend who stifled her creativity, and how she should be with someone who appreciated her. Let her be herself and shared her interest, and that he was available if she wanted to talk. He finished with a paragraph about how women like her always go for selfish assholes and don't

appreciate the wonderful guys all around them. How he felt such a connection with her through their characters and how could she ignore it? I genuinely couldn't believe I was seeing one of these in the wild. I don't usually get second-hand embarrassment. but that shit was so cringe I almost died. Like I genuinely laughed. I couldn't really be angry that shit was just so sad. She also got messages from Jenny, another player,

who said Joe seemed way too invested in the romance for her taste, and she thought those segments were taking up a lot of game time which she though was better used elsewhere. She never said anything because she thought my GF was really into it, but now that it became an issue she thought she should. She also mentioned she found Joe creepy which I personally appreciate. I don't know any of these people IRL because it's an online group, but I certainly think Jenny might be my new best friend. Finally there was a message from Mitch, the guy running the game, who said Joe reached out to him demanding I not be allowed to, and this is a quote, violate the intimacy of the group.

And he should talk to my GF2 to get her to drop me listening and possibly drop me altogether, I don't even know how or why Mitch would even attempt to do that. All this resulted in them canceling the next game as they work it out. My GF didn't respond to Joe yet, but at least she seems relieved that I'm taking this well. I told her, of course I am, I'm not going to be upset over some guy being into her. She's wonderful, of course guys are going to be into her wherever she goes. The issue I was worried about was that she was into him back, and these messages convinced me that that's clearly not the case, which seems to to have made her feel a lot better.

We talked a bit more and she now seems to agree that locking the door, in context, might have seemed suspicious and that going forward our ground rule should be that character dynamics that make her feel like she should lock the door might be the exact dynamics she should make me aware of. While I promised to trust her to tell me these things and not to eavesdrop anymore, and approach her openly about listening and on sessions. Also the romance with Joe's character isn't going to continue, but seeing how she feels feels about Joe now I think I do trust her to do character romance going forward, just to not

hide it from me and be selective with who she does it with. I don't know how the Joe's situation is going to be handled within the group, but I guess that's up to them, since playing with him is obviously going to be very awkward for her. Guess since she doesn't intend to keep up the romance it doesn't really matter. Small edit since the situation basically resolved itself now, Joe didn't like being left on red. So he wrote my GF a very very very very much. rude message about how, I kid you not, she was going to die alone with cats because her asshole boyfriend is going to leave her when she loses her looks. He literally never saw her in person. To be clear, uncovering my secret plan, I guess. So she just blocked him and sent a

screenshot to Mitch. Joe isn't going to be part of the group anymore. G.F apologized for not recognizing how absolutely unhinged the guy was. We reasserted that any in-game interaction she isn't comfortable having in front of me is probably one she shouldn't be having. Comments where Op has replied, familiar Barakuta 43, I'm glad everything seems well but I feel like you still need to have a discussion about why she was locking the door in the first place. Because to me, that says on some level she knew it was wrong and that it would hurt you. And if I was you I'd be unable to not cope with that until I got the full truth.

Oop, from what she said since it basically wasn't so much about knowing this was wrong, since she supposedly was locking her door at her parents' home too, which is where she lived before, and before the romance even took place. And more about feeling safe to get into the headspace to perform since I explained that this was part of what made it feel so off to me, and given how Joe clearly had a very different view of the situation than her. She agreed that going forward the door should remain unlocked and she will work on getting more comfortable performing even in my presence, be it with me in voice chat or present in the

room. Since Joe's reaction clearly didn't happen in a void, unhinged as it was. P. Buns, you were very valid with your feelings of being uncomfortable with your partner emulating love with another even if it was just role-playing. I myself play D&D and would be super uncomfortable if my partner was sitting there flirting at the table with someone else in character so it's understandable that you would be too. I'm not sure why people thought your boundaries were wrong on your initial post. Glad you guys could figure it out nonetheless. Oop, I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I love her, and if this is important to her I feel I owe her at least the benefit of giving her grace next story. Half-brother came to stay with us after my stepmom was being mean to him,

then she called my wife and threatened her if she didn't kick him out in the middle of the night. I, 32M, have been married to my wife Vivian, 29F, for six years. We have three kids. I have several siblings but this instance revolves around a half-brother Trevor, 18, who lives out of state. Trevor came to visit over his spring break. My stepmom has never liked Trevor, mostly because she doesn't like his mother. About three days into Trevor's visit my stepmom kept making snarky comments about him. His mom, his family, school, his tattoo, etc.

Trevor got tired of this and grabbed his car keys and said he was leaving. This was around 11 p.m. My stepmom laughs and says he doesn't have enough gas to get home or money to get more. Trevor said that he didn't need enough gas or money to get home, he just needed enough gas to get to my house. My stepmom laughs again and says, I'm not even home, I'm at work, which was true, I work nights, and that Vivian, my wife, would never let him stay here. Trevor says I guess we'll see because he knew Vivian wouldn't tell him no and leaves. My stepmother then calls my wife and tells her that Trevor is on his way to our house

and under no circumstances is Vivian to allow him to stay with us. Vivian says she's not going to turn him away, especially not in the middle of the night and that everybody can all talk about it tomorrow. She'll let me know to call my dad when I get a chance to figure out. out what's going on. My stepmom begins to get angry and says that Trevor is not Vivian's child to allow to do whatever he wants and Vivian needs to respect her as the mother of the family and that she can make life in the family difficult for Vivian if she needs to for Vivian to. Understand her place. And that Vivian has no right to let people into, my names, home without

my knowledge. There were other things said as well and eventually Vivian loses her patience and ends the call by saying that my stepmom is just mad she can't be a F-bomb, bulleted Trevor anymore because he found a loophole. My stepmother calls me while I'm at work and tells me Vivian was rude to her. At this point I have no idea that anything has happened. She then calls my dad, he works nights as well, and tells some version of events. My dad calls me and tells me that Vivian was disrespectful and had no right to speak to her that way and needs to apologize for her behavior. I get a call about five minutes later from Vivian.

She tells me that Trevor is at our house and they tell me everything that happened since Vivian wasn't at the house and Trevor wasn't there yet for the call. I call my dad and tell him that it doesn't sound like Vivian did anything except stand up for herself and my dad insists that Vivian needs to apologize. I tell him if anybody is owed an apology, it's Vivian. This was all three days ago. I'm getting texts from family members about Vivian needing to apologize and that Vivian doesn't have the right to get involved with family squabbles and she shouldn't have let Trevor run away from the consequences of his actions. No one can tell me what the actions were. And if Vivian doesn't apologize then she's not welcome around anymore. I don't think she owes an apology, but I had a bad relationship with my family for years when I was younger and since it's improved drastically, I've been a lot happier having them in my life and I don't want to lose that.

But I also can't just allow someone in it to disrespect my wife so blatantly and expect an apology for it. But Vivian at this point is starting to feel bad and she always stresses too much over absolutely anything she thinks she might have done to upset someone, so this really sent her on a series of mental gymnastics. And she says she doesn't want to be the reason I have a bad relationship with my family yet again. I've remained firm that she doesn't owe them anything, but Ida for not having her do it just to get it at a lot. over with. Update, first of all, thank you for all the advice and kind words for, about Vivian. I spoke to my dad last night and I wish I could say it went well, but I think absolutely no one expected it too. He put me on speaker and my stepmother was in the room with him. I said that Vivian will not be apologizing, and she is an adult who can make her own decisions about

having a guest in our home. I don't control her decision-making. My stepmom cut in with your controlling her now by deciding for her she can't make things right. To which I responded you might be right about that, but in this instance it's a risk I'm willing to take. She doesn't have anything to apologize for, I said I'm not going to allow you to continue to cause her or myself unnecessary stress. I also told them they can't seriously expect an apology after the way they acted and if they did, they were borderline insane. You can't bully and belittle someone repeatedly and expect them be okay with it forever. And you cannot threaten an adult and expect it to just go over nicely. I told them that if they were so willing to act like children and

cut Vivian, and by extension, me and our children, out of the family, then we would save them the hassle and do it ourselves. I told them we would be blocking their numbers along with everyone else. They tried to argue more but I simply hung up, which might have been immature, but I was just done. I blocked everyone's numbers. About an hour later I get a Facebook message from my stepsister, I rarely use Facebook so I forgot I had her as a friend on there. My stepsister is the only sibling who isn't my dad's and is only my stepmoms. She and Vivian have always been really close. She hasn't been involved in this situation at all, so I took the chance and called her.

She asked me if everything her mom had told her was true and I said most likely not, but this is what happened and explained it all to her. She then told me several instances where her mom had been similar to her and her fiancé. She said she had wanted to cut ties a long time ago but didn't want to be the only one in the family who was on the outs as she doesn't have a dad so no other family to turn to. She asked if I had really blocked them and planned to keep it that way. I said yes, and so did Vivian and Trevor. She said she'd call me back and hung up.

About 20 minutes later I get a call from her again saying she had called my stepmom, her mom, and cut the cord with them as well and had blocked their numbers too as did her fiancé. So while I might have lost a decent amount of family members, I did actually get to keep the best two out of the bunch, plus obviously my wife and kids. Thanks to everyone for the advice. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my partner seated on her colleague's niece, her promise ring on social media, so I withdrew our $60,000 nuptial savings and vanished during the night time.

I'm 32 years old. My fiancé, let's call her Sarah, is 30. We were together for five years, engaged for the last 10 months. We lived together in an apartment we leased jointly. Wedding planning was in full swing. We had set a date for about eight months from now. Most of the major vendors were booked, deposits paid. The core of this situation revolves around a series of actions and a specific incident that led to me making some drastic decisions.

I am writing this to lay out the sequence of events as they occurred. We had a joint savings account that was designated as our wedding fund. Over the past year and a half, we had accumulated $75,000 in it. Contributions came from both our salaries, though a larger percentage was from my income as I earned significantly more. I was the primary account holder on this savings account, a detail that became relevant later. The first point of contention, which I only now see as a significant indicator, was about the engagement ring. It was a ring she picked out, something she said she loved. After the proposal, she wore it consistently for the first month. Then, I noticed she wasn't wearing it when she went to her

office job. Her role is client-facing. When I asked about it, she stated that wearing an expensive ring felt unprofessional in her specific work environment. She mentioned it might make clients or colleagues perceive her differently, or that it could attract unwanted attention to her hand when she was trying to make presentations or engage in business discussions. I didn't fully understand her reasoning, as many professionals were engagement or wedding rings, but I initially accepted her explanation. A few weeks later, the explanation shifted slightly. She then said that her relationship status was her private business

and she didn't feel she owed her colleagues or clients that information through a visible symbol like a ring. She said her work performance should be the only thing they focus on. This explanation caused a bit more friction. I suggested that being engaged was generally seen as a positive life event and not something to be actively concealed in a professional setting, unless there were specific security concerns, which there were not at her firm. She was quite firm, stating it was her choice and her comfort that mattered in her workplace. This pattern continued.

She would put the ring on if we were going out together on weekends or for social events outside of her work, but never to her office. Sometimes she would forget to put it on even on weekends, and I would have to remind her, which she would brush off as an oversight. I noticed she also became more guarded with her phone. She always had a passcode, which is normal, but she started angling it away from me more pointedly if a notification came in while we were together. She also began mentioning a particular male co-worker more frequently. Let's call him Chad.

The mentions were usually about work projects they were on together, or funny things he supposedly said during team meetings. There was nothing overtly suspicious in the content. of these mentions at first, but the frequency increased. She also started staying late for work events or team dinners more often than before. When I would ask for details, she would provide general descriptions, just a team thing, or networking with a client. These explanations were often brief. On a couple of occasions, I had suggested picking her up, but she declined, saying she would get a ride with a colleague or take a cab. The wedding planning itself was also becoming a point of some

stress, though I attributed it to the usual pressures of organizing such an event. Sarah was very particular about certain aspects of the wedding, the venue, the photographer, her dress, all of which were among the most expensive options. I had expressed concerns about the escalating budget, suggesting we could find more moderate alternatives for certain things. She argued that the wedding was a once-in-a-lifetime event and she wanted it to be perfect. Given the $60,000 we had saved, she felt we could afford her choices. I went along with most of her preferences, wanting her to be happy and to avoid constant arguments over planning details. The deposits for several of these high-end vendors were paid

from the wedding fund, around $15,000. The situation came to a head three days ago. It was a Tuesday evening. Sarah was supposedly at a late work meeting that she said would involve dinner with a potential new client and some of her team members, including Chad. She had left for work that morning, again, not wearing her engagement ring. Around 9.30 p.m., I was scrolling through Instagram. A mutual acquaintance, someone who knows both me and Sarah but is more of a professional contact of hers, had posted an Instagram story. This acquaintance was also at the event Sarah was attending.

The first few clips of the story were innocuous, group shots of people at a restaurant, some food pictures. Then, there was a short video clip, maybe 15 seconds long. In the video, the camera panned across a booth. Sarah was in the shot, sitting directly on Chad's lap. They were not just casually sitting. Her arm was draped over his shoulder, her head was tilted very close. to his, and they were both laughing. He had one hand on her waist, quite high up, almost on her

side. She was leaning back against him, and at one point in the short clip, she playfully touched his face with her free hand. The setting did not look like a formal client dinner. It looked like a bar, it was dimly lit, and music was audible. There were other colleagues around, some of whom I recognized from her previous work social media posts, and they all seem to be in high spirits. The caption on the story from the person who posted it was something like team letting loose. Immediately after that clip, the same acquaintance posted another photo, a still image this time. It was a selfie Chad had taken, and Sarah was in it, cheek to cheek with him, both of them making playful faces. The original poster had added a text overlay to this photo saying,

get a room you too. Smile so happy for our work hubby and wifie at Chad's Instagram handle, at Sarah's Instagram handle. The acquaintance had tagged both Chad and Sarah. My fiancé was being called a work wifie with this Chad, while sitting on his lap, without her engagement ring, and it was all being broadcast on social media. I watched the video clip several times. There was no mistaking it was Sarah. There was no mistaking the familiar. There was no mistaking the familiarity and intimacy of their posture and interaction. Her explanation about professionalism and keeping her relationship status private at work now made sense. I felt a surge of anger that was quite intense. I didn't call her. I didn't text her. I didn't wait for her to come home.

My first action, within minutes of seeing that Instagram story, was to access our joint wedding fund account online. As I mentioned, I was the primary account holder. I transferred the entire balance of $60,000 to my personal current account, which she did not have access to. The transfer went through immediately. I then took screenshots of the Instagram story, the video, the photo, and the caption with the work hubby and Wi-Fi comment, in case they were deleted. My next step was to pack. I took three large suitcases. I packed all of my clothes, my personal documents, my laptop and work essentials, and items of significant personal or financial value that belonged to me. This included some artwork I owned before we met in my

collection of watches. I did not take anything that was unequivocally hers or that was a joint purchase of household utility, like furniture or kitchen appliances. Though much of the expensive furniture had been bought with my money, I decided to leave it for now. The process of packing was hard, I focused on being efficient. It took me about two hours. Our apartment lease was in both our names. I found my copy of the lease agreement and put it on the kitchen counter. I wrote a very brief note. The note said, Sarah, I saw the Instagram story. I have withdrawn the $60,000 from the wedding fund. All of it. I have moved out. Do not contact me. keys are on the counter. I placed my set of apartment keys next to the note. I then called a 24-hour

moving service, one that specialized in small, immediate moves. I explained I needed to move several suitcases and a few boxes from my apartment to a secure storage unit immediately, and then I would need transport to a hotel. They arrived within the hour. I directed them to my packed items. As they were loading my belongings into their van, I did one. I did one. one final sweep of the apartment to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything critical. I left the apartment with the movers at around 1.30 a.m. I had them take my belongings to a storage facility I had quickly found online. I paid for three months of storage up front.

From there, I had them drop me at a hotel in a different part of the city. I checked in using my own credit card. Sarah usually returned from these late work events between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m., if not later. Given the time, she was likely still out or on her way back when I left. I did not want a confrontation. I wanted my actions to be clear and unambiguous before any conversation could occur. Once in the hotel room, I turned my phone to silent. I knew she would eventually see the note in the empty space where my belongings had been, and that her reaction would likely be explosive. I was not interested in hearing it at that moment. This all happened, as I said,

three days ago. So, the time skip is minimal. I am currently still in the hotel. The resolution of this initial phase is that I have physically removed myself from the situation and secured the funds that were intended for a wedding that I now see as a complete sham. I have not spoken to Sarah. My phone has indeed been overwhelmed with missed calls and text messages from her, starting from around 2.30 a.m. the night I left, when she presumably got home and saw my note. There have also been calls and messages from her mother and her sister. I have not listened to any voicemails or read any of the messages in detail, just glanced at the sender notifications. The current situation is that I have effectively ended my engagement and my cohabitation with Sarah without any direct

verbal communication with her after discovering the Instagram story. I have taken what I consider to be decisive action to protect my financial and emotional state. My dilemma is not really about whether I did the right thing for myself. I feel strangely calm and resolute about the actions I took regarding moving out and securing the funds. My reason for posting is more to document this, to put it into words. Perhaps it is a way of processing the sheer speed at which a five-year relationship is a very year relationship and an impending marriage can seemingly disintegrate due to such a stark betrayal of trust. Her behavior with the ring, the excuses, the late nights, and then the visual confirmation of

her conduct with Chad, all point to a consistent pattern of disrespect and deceit. The public nature of the Instagram story, and the fact that her colleagues seem to be aware of or even encourage this work hubby-slash-wifey dynamic, is particularly daring and hurtful. I am not asking if I am the asshole, because I don't believe I am in this specific sequence of actions. My actions were a direct response to hers. I suppose I am putting this out here to see if others have encountered such blatant disregard from a partner, especially when so close to a major commitment like marriage. And perhaps to hear about how such situations unfolded for others after the initial separation. What kind of reactions or further issues did you face from the ex-partner?

or their circles. I expect this is not the end of the matter with Sarah, given the wedding plans and the money. Update 1, thank you to everyone who read my original post and offered comments and messages. I read a significant number of them. Many of you asked for clarifications on certain points, and many shared similar experiences, which, in a strange way, has been helpful to read. I am not looking for pity, but understanding the mechanics of how others navigated similar betrayals has been informative. A lot of people question the legality and morality of me withdrawing the entire $60,000 from the wedding fund.

To clarify, the savings account was technically a joint account, but it was set up with me as the primary account holder and her as the secondary. This was done for convenience at the time of opening it, as I handled most of our joint finances and bill payments due to my more regular income schedule and my preference for managing financial planning. Most of the actual money, probably around 70 to 75% of the $60,000, could be directly traced from my personal salary deposits into that account. While it was designated as our wedding fund, and she did contribute, my larger contributions and primary holder status gave me the ability to make the withdrawal unilaterally. I have banked statements

to prove my contribution levels. I understand this is a gray area for some, but given her action, which I consider a fundamental breach of the trust our engagement was built upon, I felt justified in securing those funds from being spent on a wedding that was clearly not going to happen, or worse, being accessed or depleted by her. Several people asked for more details about the Instagram story. The co-worker who posted it as someone Sarah has mentioned as being a bit of a gossip, so it's not entirely surprising they'd post something like that. The tags were direct to Sarah's and Chad's public Instagram profiles.

The work hubby slash wifie comment was not an isolated joke. Comments under the post, before I stopped looking, from other colleagues echoed similar sentiments, suggesting this was a known dynamic. The original poster has since deleted the story in the subsequent photo, likely after Sarah realized I had seen it and things blew up. However, as I mentioned, I have screenshots and a screen recording of the video. Some asked if I knew Chad. I had met him once, very briefly, at a company holiday party over a year ago. He seemed like a typical office worker. Sarah had never indicated any particular closeness to him beyond being on the same team and

occasionally working on projects together until the increased mentions recently. A few comments suggested I should have confronted her. I considered this. However, based on past arguments about much smaller issues, I anticipated that any confrontation would devolve into gaslighting, denial, crying, and attempts to shift blame onto me or my lack of trust. I chose to bypass that predictable drama. My actions were my confrontation. Reading the comments and reflecting over the past week has not changed my mind about my core decisions. My resolve has, if anything, solidified. The sheer brazenness of her behavior,

compounded by the ring issue and the excuses, makes it clear to me that the person I thought I was going to marry either doesn't exist or was a carefully constructed facade. I did what had to be done to extricate myself from a damaging situation. I've spent some of the past week speaking with a lawyer to understand the legal implications regarding the lease, the withdrawn funds, and the cancelled wedding contracts. I have remained in the hotel for now. I have initiated the process of finding a new apartment for myself. I have not had any direct contact with Sarah.

My phone remains on silent for her number and her family's numbers. I have blocked her on all social media platforms. Her attempts to reach me were numerous and frantic in the first few days. I received dozens of calls, voicemails, and a barrage of text messages. Her sister and mother also called and texted multiple times. From what I could gather from the message previews before I stopped looking at them altogether, her initial texts were confused, where are you? What's going on? Then panicked, the money is gone, why would you do this? Then angry and accusatory, you can't just steal our money, you're ruining my life.

I did not reply to any of them. Through my lawyer, I sent a formal notification to Sarah regarding my intention to terminate the lease on our shared apartment, and outlining a proposal for the division of any remaining shared property, though there isn't much of significant value that I left behind and would contest. The letter also formally stated that the engagement is terminated due to her actions. I have also started contacting wedding vendors. This has been an unpleasant task. Most of the deposits are non-refundable, which amounts to a significant loss, around $15,000 in total so far from the total $75,000. This is a financial. hit I am prepared to absorb as the cost of ending things.

My lawyer advised that since many contracts were in both our names, she is equally liable for any cancellation fees, but I am not, at this stage, pursuing her for half of these lost deposits. I am focused on clean disengagement. I instructed the vendors that all future communications regarding cancellations should also be C-Ced to Sarah at her email address, as she was involved in the bookings. Sarah's reaction, as observed from a distance, has been exactly what I anticipated, and it seems to confirm her unhinged and entitled perspective. After receiving the lawyer's letter, which was sent via registered mail and email, she apparently escalated her efforts to make contact, not with remorse, but with demands and threats. Her mother called my mother. I had pre-warned my parents about the situation, so my mother was prepared.

Sarah's mother apparently accused me of abandoning Sarah, stealing her wedding money, and being cruel and unstable. She demanded that my mother make me see sense and return Sarah's money and fix things. My mother calmly stated that I am an adult, that she trusts my judgment, and that this was a matter between me and Sarah, and that perhaps Sarah should reflect on her own actions. Sarah's mother reportedly became abusive and my mother ended the call. Sarah herself, according to an email she sent to my work email address, which I had not blocked yet, but have now, is claiming that the Instagram story was a drunken mistake and a misunderstanding. She wrote that Chad is just a friend and that I am overreacting massively and acting like a

psycho. She demanded I return the money immediately so she could continue planning her wedding. She actually used those words, her wedding, as if it would proceed without me. She also threatened to sue me for the money and for slander and emotional distress. Her tone was not apologetic but rather indignant and demanding. She wrote that I had no right to unilaterally decide to ruin everything over one stupid photo and video. There was no acknowledgement of the ring issue or the broader pattern of behavior. I also heard through a former mutual friend who reached out to me, more sympathetic to my side, that Sarah is telling people a completely different version of events.

In her version, I apparently became unreasonably jealous and controlling recently, that I objected to her having male friends, and that I abruptly left and stole the wedding money to punish her for having a normal work-social life. There is no mention of the lap sitting, the touchiness, or the work-wifie comments in the version she is peddling. She is painting herself as the victim of an unstable partner. This friend also mentioned that Chad has been very quiet and is distancing himself from Sarah at work since the incident became known more widely within their office. Apparently, Sarah made a scene at work when she couldn't reach me, and people started asking questions. The apartment lease situation is also becoming complicated.

She is refusing to agree to terminate the lease, likely out of spite or because she cannot afford the rent on her own and doesn't want to move. My lawyer is handling this. So, the immediate outcome is that Sarah is not reflecting, she is deflecting and attacking. This confirms my decision to avoid direct contact was the correct one. The watching her life fall apart aspect for my original post's private thoughts is perhaps less about tangible collapse yet, and more about the unraveling of her plans and her entitled expectations. She expected a big wedding, funded largely by me, and a continued life.

where her actions had no consequences. That expectation has certainly fallen apart. Update 2, it has been three months since I originally posted about discovering my then-fiance Sarah's behavior and my subsequent actions. A fair amount has transpired, and the situation has continued to evolve, mostly in a predictable but still frustrating manner. Sarah's life, from what I can gather, has not improved. My decision to maintain no direct contact has been crucial. After her initial barrage of calls, texts, and the angry email, followed by her mother's intervention, her attempts to contact me directly have lessened, though not entirely ceased. I still get occasional voicemails, which I delete without listening to, and I had to block a new

number she tried using. The primary battleground became the apartment lease and the cancellation of wedding vendors. Regarding the vendors, most of them have now processed the cancellations. The total amount of lost deposits came to just under $17,000. As stated, I absorbed this from the $75,000. Sarah, upon receiving confirmation of cancellations and final bills, some of which had minor additional cancellation fees not covered by deposits, apparently sent furious emails to several vendors, accusing them of siding with me and demanding they refund her for her emotional distress.

I know this because two vendors contacted my me to complete. about her harassment, forwarding the email chains. Her logic seemed to be that since I cancelled, she was the aggrieved party and was owed something. They, of course, referred her back to the contracts she co-signed. The apartment lease situation was more difficult. She refused to sign any documentation to terminate the lease early, or to negotiate a buy-out of my portion. She He stayed in the apartment, presumably expecting me to continue paying my half of the rent indefinitely while she lived there. The lease had five months remaining when I left. My lawyer informed her that I would pay my half for the legally required notice period, which was 60 days as per our

agreement terms for early termination by one party if the other did not agree to vacate, but that I would not pay beyond that, and that she would be solely responsible for the rent thereafter or any penalties for breaking the lease. For two months, I paid. paid my share directly to the landlord, and my lawyer sent Sarah notice that she needed to make arrangements for the full amount from the third month onwards or vacate. According to the landlord, who contacted my lawyer last week, Sarah failed to pay the full rent for the third month, the first month she was fully responsible. She apparently told the landlord it was my responsibility and that I had stolen her money.

The landlord has now initiated eviction proceedings against her for non-payment of rent. This means her living situation is now precarious due to her own refusal to cooperate or take financial responsibility. I heard through the same mutual acquaintance who previously gave me information that Sarah's work situation has also become uncomfortable. Her version of events about me being controlling and jealous apparently didn't hold up well once details of the Instagram story, which some colleagues had seen and saved before it was deleted, and her work-wifie dynamic with Chad became more widely discussed. Chad, it seems, completely backed away from her once the drama erupted, and has reportedly told colleagues he dodged a bullet and that Sarah was coming on too strong. This has apparently left Sarah isolated and looking foolish at her workplace. The acquaintance mentioned that Sarah's work performance has allegedly suffered, and she is perceived as unprofessional and a source of drama.

There's no confirmation, but there was a rumor she might be looking for a new job or might be managed out. The most significant new development is that Sarah, through a lawyer she finally retained, sent a letter demanding the return of the $60,000, plus damages for breach of promise to marry, emotional distress, and reputational harm. The letter was filled with exaggerated claims and outright falsehoods about my conduct and her supposed blamelessness. My lawyer reviewed it and responded, outlining my legal position, reiterating the reasons for the engagement termination, with copies of the Instagram evidence at

and providing a breakdown of my contributions to the wedding fund versus hers. My lawyer also counterclaimed that if she wished to pursue the matter of funds, we would then need to fully audit all wedding-related expenses, her contributions versus mine to shared living expenses during our cohabitation, and that I would then pursue her for her share of the lost deposits and all costs associated with breaking the lease due to her foolishness. The $60,000 remains in my sole possession. After deducting the $17,000 in lost deposits, I have $43,000 left. My lawyer is confident that her claim for the full amount, especially the portion that was clearly my money, is weak, particularly given her conduct.

The breach of promise to Mary claim is archaic and rarely successful where there is clear cause, which my lawyer believes we have. He suspects her lawyer's letter is mostly posturing, an attempt to see if I will offer a settlement to make her go away. We have responded firmly that no such settlement will be forthcoming beyond a fair accounting of her actual contributions to the specific wedding fund, minus her share of any joint liabilities like vendor cancellation fees, should she wish to go down that formal route of accounting. We haven't heard back since my lawyer's response was sent two weeks ago. On a personal front, I have secured a new apartment. I moved in a month ago.

It's smaller than the old place. The process of disentangling any remaining joint accounts or bills is almost complete. I've been focusing on my work and re-establishing a routine. The initial anger has subsided into a kind of weary disgust whenever I have to deal with an issue related to her. The watching her life fall apart is occurring, but it's a slow, messy process driven by her own choices and entitled reactions. Her professional reputation seems damaged, her living situation is unstable due to the eviction, and her attempts to extort money or fix things by bullying and manipulation have failed. She appears to be alienating people around her. She made a series of choices. To not wear her ring

for deceptive reasons. To engage in inappropriate behavior with a coworker, and then to react with entitlement and aggression rather than accountability when faced with the consequences. The legal threats from Sarah might materialize into something more, where they might fade away once her lawyer advises her of the costs and low probability of success for her more outrageous claims. For me, the closure on the relationship itself is complete. The person I thought Sarah was, clearly never existed or was a well-maintained act. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my spouse being unfaithful with an individual named N, only to realize it was my very own sibling. When I approached them about it, he became aggressive towards me, leading

me to take legal action and submit a formal complaint for divorce. I've been married to Molly for four years now and we've been together for six total. And up until about two months ago I thought we had a pretty solid marriage, you know? Like we fought sometimes but nothing major, we had our routines, she'd come home from her job at the accounting firm around six most nights and we'd have dinner and watch Netflix or whatever. Little boring married couple stuff that I actually liked because it felt stable and comfortable and I thought she felt the same way. But then things started changing and at first I told myself I was just being paranoid because that's what I do. I overthink everything and Molly always used to tease me about it in a loving

way, calling me her little worrier and kissing my forehead when I'd get anxious about stupid stuff. Except now when I'd mention that something felt off she'd just roll her eyes and tell me I was being dramatic and that hurt more than I expected it to because she'd never dismissed my feelings like that before. The changes started small, like she'd work late maybe once a week instead of never, and she'd come home looking tired but also kind of energized if that makes sense, like she was tired physically but mentally she seemed more awake than she'd been in months. And she started taking her phone everywhere, even to the bathroom which was new because she used to leave it charging on the kitchen counter most of the time and wouldn't even look at it until the next

morning. I remember the first time I really noticed something was wrong. She came home at almost nine on a Tuesday, which was weird because Tuesdays are usually their slow days, and when I asked her about it she said they were working on some big client's books and it was all hands on deck. But here's the thing, she works for a small firm with like six people total and I've met her co-workers at company parties and stuff, and none of them seemed like the type to stay late unless someone was literally holding a gun to their head, especially not on a Tuesday. So I asked her which client it was and she got this look on her face like I'd caught her stealing cookies or something. Just for a split second before she said it was some manufacturing

company she'd never mentioned before. And when I said, oh cool, what do they manufacture? She just said equipment and then immediately started asking me about my day and what I wanted for dinner tomorrow like she was trying to change the subject. That's when the little voice in my had started getting louder, the one that says pay attention something isn't right here, and I tried to ignore it because I didn't want to be that husband who doesn't trust his wife. But the late nights kept happening more and more, and she started taking calls in the other room and talking really quietly, and when I'd walk and she'd quickly say, okay, talk to you later and hang up. The phone thing really got to me because we'd always been pretty open about our

phones, not like we went through each other's stuff, but if hers was closer and mine was ringing, she'd answer it and vice versa. And suddenly she was guarding that thing like it contained nuclear launch codes. She started taking it with her to shower, which was just weird, and she'd sleep with it under her pillow instead of on the nightstand like she had for literally years. And then there was the way she started looking at me, or maybe I should say not looking at me, because she'd stare off into space during dinner and when I'd ask what she was thinking about, she'd just say work stuff or nothing important.

But her eyes looked different, like she was seeing something I couldn't see, and when she did focus on me it was like she was trying to remember who I was or something. The sex stopped too, which wasn't like her at all because she'd always been the one with the higher drive between us. And when I tried to initiate anything she'd say she was too tired or stressed about work. And I get that, work stress is real and I didn't want to pressure her, but it had been weeks and when I tried to talk to her about it, she acted like I was being unreasonable for even bringing it up. I started paying more attention to her schedule and realized the late nights weren't random at all,

they were every Tuesday and Thursday like clockwork, plus some random other days thrown in. And she started leaving earlier in the mornings too, saying she wanted to get a jump on the day, but her work doesn't even open until nine and she was leaving by 7.30. That's when I decided to drive by her office one Thursday evening around. 7, just to see if there were actually other cars there, and guess what? The parking lot was completely empty except for the security guard's car. No lights on in the building, nothing. So either she was lying about working late or her entire office had decided to work in the dark like some kind of vampire accounting firm. I sat in my car for like 20 minutes trying to

figure out what to do with this information. And I felt sick to my stomach because now I knew for sure she was lying to me, but I didn't know what she was actually doing. And part of me wanted to just drive home and pretend I'd never seen the empty parking lot, but I couldn't unknow what I knew, you know. When she got home that night around 9.30, I asked her how work was and she said busy as usual, really draining, and I just nodded and said that sucks while my heart was pounding because she was looking right at me and lying without even blinking. And I realized I didn't know who this person was anymore, this person who could lie so

easily to someone she claimed to love. I started checking her stories more carefully after that, like when she said she was grabbing lunch with her co-worker Jenny I'd casually ask about it later and she'd give me details that didn't quite add up. Like she'd say they went to this Italian place but then mentioned they had sushi, or she'd stressed about her divorce but last time she talked about Jenny she was happily married. The breaking point came when I found the burner phone, and I'm still not sure if she wanted me to find it or if she just got careless. It was a Tuesday night and she'd come home late again with that same tired but energized look, and she went straight to the shower like she always did after her late nights.

She left her purse on the kitchen counter and her regular phone was charging on the table, and something made me look in her purse even though I'd never done that before in our entire relationship. And there it was, this cheap little phone tucked into a side pocket, and my hands were shaking as I opened it up and saw dozens of text messages. The contact was just saved as I am but I scrolled through some of the messages and my whole world just collapsed right there in the kitchen while I could hear the shower running upstairs. The messages were definitely sexual, talking about meeting up and how they couldn't wait to see each other and all this stuff about how amazing the previous night was and how they wished

they could spend more time together. And there were messages about sneaking around and being careful and making sure nobody found and I just kept scrolling and reading these messages between my wife and whoever M was. But here's the thing that really made me sick. Some of the messages referenced things that had happened at our house, like M saying they loved the view from our bedroom window and how comfortable our couch was. So this person had been in my house, in my bed probably, while I was at work or wherever, and Molly had brought them there and they'd been laughing about it together. I took pictures of some of the messages with my own phone because I was. I knew she'd deny everything if I confronted her without proof.

And then I hit the burner phone somewhere in the house and just sat at the kitchen table trying to process what I discovered. The shower was still running and I could hear her singing like she was happy, and I wanted to throw up. When she came downstairs in her robe with her hair wrapped in a towel, she kissed the top of my head like nothing had happened and asked if I wanted to watch a movie. And I just looked at her and said we need to talk. and her whole body went stiff like she knew exactly what this was about.

I told her I found the phone and I knew she was cheating and I wanted to know who Am was and how long this had been going on. And instead of denying it or crying or apologizing or any of the things I expected, she just got this cold look on her face and said it wasn't what I thought and I was jumping to conclusions. So I showed her the pictures I'd taken of the messages and her face went white, but then she got angry instead of ashamed and started yelling at me for going through her personal things and violating her privacy. And I'm sitting there thinking, are you seriously mad at me right now for finding out your cheating, like I'm the one who did something wrong here? She kept saying I wouldn't understand and it wasn't that simple and there were things about our marriage that I didn't

see. And I asked her what the hell that was supposed to mean because I thought our marriage was fine until she started sneaking around. And she said I was naive if I thought our marriage was fine and that she'd been unhappy for a long time but didn't know how to tell me. But here's what really pissed me off. She said all this like it justified what she was doing, like being unhappy gave her the right to cheat instead of talking to me about it or going to counseling or just leaving if she was that miserable.

And when I said that to her she just rolled her eyes and said I wouldn't have listened anyway, which made me even angrier because she never even tried. I asked her again who M was and she said it didn't matter and it was over anyway, but I knew she was lying because some of those messages were from that same day. And I told her I wanted her to call this person right now and ended in front of me, and that's when she really lost it and started screaming about how controlling I was and how she felt like she was suffocating in this marriage. And I'm thinking okay if you're suffocating then why didn't you just leave,

why did you have to cheat and lie and bring someone into our house? But instead I just asked her if she wanted a divorce because I wasn't going to stay married to someone who was cheating on me and lying about it. She said maybe that would be best and then she grabbed the burner phone and went upstairs and I could hear her talking to someone but I couldn't make out the words. And I just sat there thinking about how my marriage was ending and how I'd have to tell people and deal with lawyers and split up all our stuff and I felt empty more than anything else.

But then I started getting angry, because she was upstairs probably talking to her affair partner while I sat downstairs dealing with the aftermath of her choices. And I realized I still didn't know who this person was, and for some reason that was driving me crazy because I felt like I deserved to know who had helped destroy my marriage. The thing is, I'd been having this feeling for weeks that something about this whole situation was familiar, like I'd seen signs before but couldn't place them. And some of the messages I'd read mentioned things that made me think this person knew me or knew things about me, which was creepy and confusing.

Molly came back downstairs about an hour later and said she was going to stay at her sisters for a few days while we figured things out, and I said fine because I needed space to think anyway. But as she was packing her bag I asked her one more time who she was having an affair with, and she just said it didn't matter and I needed to let it go. But I couldn't let it go, and after she left I started going through everything more carefully, looking for clues about who M could be. I checked our credit card statements and found charges at restaurants on days when she said she was working late. And then I found something that made my blood run cold.

A receipt from a gift shop for a men's watch that cost $300, dated two weeks ago. Molly had never mentioned buying anyone a gift, and I started thinking about who she might be buying expensive. expensive gifts for. That's when I decided to set up a camera in our living room, one of those small ones you can hide anywhere, because I had a feeling she might bring this person to the house again and I wanted to know who it was. I know that sounds crazy, but I felt like I was losing my mind not knowing, and I needed of her affair and what was happening in my own home. I didn't have to wait long because five days later while I was at work, the camera picked up Molly coming home with someone, and when I watched the footage that night I almost couldn't

believe what I was seeing. It was my brother Marcus, my older brother who I've looked up to my entire life, who was supposed to be one of my best friends, who had been in my wedding and given a speech about how happy he was that I'd found someone like Molly. I had to watch the footage three times before it really sank in, seeing them come into my house together and kiss in my living room and then go upstairs to my bedroom. My brother, who I talked to at least twice a week, who I'd trusted with everything, was the one sleeping with my wife. And suddenly everything made sense, why some of those text messages referenced things about me and my schedule, why Molly seemed to know exactly when I'd be gone, why this person felt comfortable in my house.

Marcus knew all my routines, knew when I worked late, knew when I went to the gym, knew everything about my life because I told him everything. I realized they'd probably been planning this for months, finding ways to be alone together, and I thought about all the times Marcus had come over when Molly was home alone, all the times he'd offered to help her with things when I was busy. The worst part was remembering how supportive Marcus had been when I started having doubts about Molly's behavior, telling me I was probably overthinking things and that all marriages go through rough patches.

He'd been gaslighting me while sleeping with my wife, making me feel crazy for noticing things that were actually happening. I spent the whole night just sitting in my living room staring at the spot where I'd watched them kiss, and I kept thinking about how they both looked at me during family dinners and holidays, knowing what they were doing behind my back. And I thought about how they probably talked about me, maybe even laughed about how clueless I was. By morning I'd decided I was going to confront both of them, and I called Molly and told her she needed to come home because we needed to finish our conversation. I didn't mention that I knew about Marcus because I wanted to see if she'd

finally tell, but I also texted Marcus and asked him to come over because I needed to talk to him about something important. Mollie got there first and she seemed nervous, asking why I'd insisted she'd come back and if I'd been going through her stuff again. And I just said I knew who M was and I wanted her to admit it, and she got that same cold look and said she wasn't going to play games with me. That's when Marcus showed up, and I'll never forget the look on his face when he saw Molly there and realized something was wrong. He tried to act normal, asking what was going on and if everything was okay, but I could see the panic in his eyes. I looked at both of them standing in my living room and said, I know you're sleeping together, I have proof, and I want

both of you to confess or get out of my house right now. And Molly started to say something but Marcus cut her off and said we should all calm down and talk about this like adults. And that's when I lost it, because he was still trying to manipulate me even after being caught, still trying to control the situation and make me feel like I was the one being unreasonable. I told him he was a piece of shit for sleeping with my wife and that I never wanted to see either of them again. Marcus got this look on his face like I'd slapped him, and then he said I was being dramatic and that things weren't as simple as I was making them out to be. And I said, oh really, please explain to me how sleeping with your brother's wife is complicated, because I'm a

too stupid to understand. That's when Molly jumped in and said they hadn't meant for it to happen and that they tried to stop but they had feelings for each other that they couldn't control. And I just started laughing because that was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard, like they were victims of their own emotions instead of two adults who made choices. I told them both to get out and Marcus said we needed to talk about this as a family, and I said we're not family anymore, you made sure of that when you decided to fuck my wife. and that's when he got aggressive, stepping closer to me and saying I needed to watch my mouth and show some respect. And I'm thinking respect, you want me to show you respect after what you've done, and I told him to get away from me before I did something we'd both regret.

But instead of leaving he got right in my face and said I was always such a drama queen and that maybe if I'd been a better husband Molly wouldn't have needed to look elsewhere. That's when he pushed me and I stumbled backward into the coffee table and I pushed him. And then Molly was yelling at both of us to stop and Marcus was saying I'd started it and I was saying get the fuck out of my house. Marcus grabbed me by the shirt and shoved me against the wall and I could smell his cologne and see the watch Molly had bought him on his wrist and something just snapped in me. I started fighting back, throwing punches and trying to get him off me and he was bigger than me but I was angrier than I'd ever been in my life. We ended up on the floor with him on top of me, hitting me in the face and ribs while Mollies. he screamed at us to stop, and I kept thinking this is my brother, this person I loved and trusted, and he's beating me up in my own living room while my wife watches.

And the whole time he was hitting me he was saying things like this is what you get for being such an asshole and you brought this on yourself. I managed to get away from him and run to the kitchen where I grabbed a knife, not because I wanted to stab him but because I wanted him to back off and leave me alone. And when he saw the knife he finally stopped advancing on me, but then he started saying, I was crazy and dangerous and that he was going to call the police on me. And I'm standing there bleeding and holding a knife in my own kitchen while my cheating wife and brother act like I'm the problem, and I realized how completely fucked up this whole situation

had become. So I put the knife down and told them both to get out and never come back, and that I was filing for divorce and never wanted to see either of them again. Marcus said I was making a huge mistake and that family was more important than this, and I said you should have thought about that before you decided to destroy mine. And then they finally left, but not before Molly said she'd be back for her things and that I better not do anything stupid. After they were gone, I just sat on my kitchen floor and cried, because my marriage was over and my relationship with my brother was over and I felt like my whole life had been a lie. And I realized the camera had recorded everything, including Marcus

assaulting me in my own home, and I decided right then that I was going to press charges. I know everyone thinks I should have just let it go and tried to work things out as a family, but I can't get past the fact that my own brother beat me up while defending his affair with my wife. And when I told my parents what had happened, they said I was being vindictive and that I should think about forgiveness and moving forward as a family. But I don't want to forgive them, and I don't want to move forward like nothing happened, because something did happen and it changed everything. I called the police and showed them the video of Marcus attacking me,

and I filed charges for assault. I also filed for divorce and asked for everything I could get, and I told Molly she could have her stuff, but I wanted her out of my life completely. Now everyone in my family is mad at me for pressing charges and they're saying I'm tearing the family apart over something that can be worked through. And my mom keeps calling and crying and asking me to drop the charges and go to family therapy,

but I don't want to sit in a room and talk about my feelings with the people who betrayed me. Marcus has been calling too, leaving messages saying he's sorry and that he wants to make things right, but I don't know how you make something like this right. How do you come back from sleeping with your brother's wife and then beating him up when he finds out? And Molly keeps texting me trying to explain her side of things, saying she never meant to hurt me and that she does love me, but she loves Marcus too and she can't help how she feels. And every time I read those texts I get angry all over again because she's still not taking responsibility. responsibility for what she did. She's still acting like this just happened to her instead of something she chose. The court date is next month and my lawyer says we have a strong case because of the video evidence, but my whole family is pressuring me to drop it and just move on.

And I keep wondering if I'm being an asshole for not just letting this go and trying to preserve what's left of my family relationships. So I guess my question is, am I the asshole for pressing charges against my brother and refusing to work things out as a family? I honestly don't know anymore because everyone I trust has been telling me I'm wrong, but something inside me says that what they did was unforgivable and that I deserve better than being expected to just get over it. But maybe I'm too close to the situation to see clearly, so I'm hoping strangers on the internet can give me some perspective on whether I'm handling this right or if I'm just being a vindictive asshole who can't let things go. Update 1. I didn't expect my post to blow out

like this but thank you to everyone who commented. Especially those who told me I'm not crazy for feeling like my whole world got turned upside down. Reading all your responses has helped me realize that I'm not overreacting and that what happened to me was seriously fucked up, even if my family doesn't want to admit it. A lot of people asked for updates so here's what's happened since I posted. First, the harassment from my family has gotten worse, not better. My mom calls me every single day crying and begging me to drop the charges, saying that Marcus has learned his lesson and that I'm destroying our family over something that can be fixed with time and forgiveness.

And my dad, who I thought might understand better, told me yesterday that I'm being stubborn and prideful and that real men don't call the police on their brothers over family disputes. He said I should have just beaten Marcus up and called it even, like this is some kind where we settle things with our fists instead of, you know, expecting people not to cheat with our wives and then assault us. My sister has been the worst though, calling me selfish and saying that I'm putting my hurt feelings above the good of the whole family. She said Molly and Marcus are both sorry and that they're willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, and that I'm being unreasonable by not even listening to them. But here's the thing that really gets me,

none of them seem to understand that this isn't just about hurt feelings or family drama. Marcus committed assault, there's video evidence of it, and if he did this to a stranger on the street everyone would expect him to face consequences. But because he's my brother and because it happened during a family situation, suddenly I'm supposed to just let it slide. The other thing is that people keep acting like Molly and Marcus just made a mistake, like they tripped and fell into bed together by accident. But this was going on for months, probably longer, and they were planning and scheming and lying to my face. the whole time. It's not a mistake, that's a pattern of deliberate choices to hurt me and betray my trust. I've been staying at a hotel since the confrontation because I couldn't handle being in that house anymore, and Molly has been going there to get her stuff while I'm at work.

My neighbor texted me yesterday to tell me she saw Marcus helping Molly move boxes, and I just felt sick knowing that they're still together and probably talking about what an asshole I am for not just accepting their relationship. The divorce is moving forward. and my lawyer says it should be pretty straightforward since and most of our assets are in my name anyway. Molly hasn't fought me on anything yet, which makes me think she feels guilty, but it also makes me wonder if she's just eager to get it over with so she can be with Marcus without any complications. The hardest part is how isolated I feel, because the people who are supposed to support me during the worst time of my life are instead pressuring me to forgive the people who hurt me.

and I keep second-guessing myself, wondering if maybe I am being too stubborn or if I should just drop the charges and try to move on. But then I watched that video again and I see Marcus hitting me in my own living room while Molly just stands there, and I remember how scared I felt and how helpless, and I know I can't just pretend that didn't happen. He could have killed me if he'd hit me the wrong way, and he didn't stop until I got the knife, which means he would have kept going if I hadn't defended myself. Some people in the comments asked about the burner phone and what happened with that. I turned it over to my lawyer as evidence for the divorce. My lawyer said some of the messages could be considered evidence of alienation of affection,

which might help my case, but honestly I don't even want to read them because I think they just hurt more. I also found out that Marcus has been telling people his side of the story, claiming that I attacked him first and that he was just offending himself. But the video clearly shows him pushing him. me first and then getting on top of me and hitting me repeatedly, so I don't know how he thinks that's going to work in court. The thing that's really messing with my head is how normal they both acted around me while this was going on.

Like Marcus came to my birthday dinner two months ago and gave me a card talking about how glad he was to have me as a brother, and the whole time he was sleeping with my wife. And Molly planned our anniversary dinner and acted all romantic and loving, and then went and met Marcus the next day. My cousin also called me and said he'd heard about everything through the family grapevine, and he told me that he'd always thought something was weird between Molly and Marcus but didn't want to say anything because he wasn't sure. And I'm like, thanks for looking out for me, bro, really appreciate you keeping your suspicions to yourself while I was being humiliated. The court date is in three weeks and my lawyer says we're well prepared, but I'm nervous about

seeing Marcus again and having to relive everything in front of a judge. Part of me just wants to get it over with, but another part of me wants him to face real consequences for what he did, not just a slap on the wrist. I've been going to therapy to help deal with all this, and my therapist says what I'm experiencing is normal given the level of betrayal I've suffered. She said it's common for families to pressure victims to forgive and move on because it's easier for them than dealing with the reality of what happened. But that doesn't mean I have to comply with their wishes. She also said that the fact that Marcus escalated to physical violence shows that this isn't just about an affair, it's about someone who was willing to hurt me to protect his secret. And when I put it that way, it makes me feel more confident that I'm doing the right thing by pressing charges. I know this update is kind of all over the place, but my head is still spinning from everything that's happened.

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm hanging in there and that I'm not backing down, even though it feels like the whole world is against me right. right now. The support from strangers on here has meant more to me than you know, because it's helped me realize that I'm not crazy and that I deserve better than what my family is trying to get me to accept. So thank you for that, and I'll update again after the court date to let you know how everything goes. Update 2, well, the court hearing happened yesterday and I'm still processing everything that went down, but I wanted to update you all since so many of you have been following this shit show and offering support. Spoiler alert, it didn't go the way anyone in my family expected, and now they're even more pissed at me than before.

First off, Marcus showed up with a lawyer, which I wasn't expecting because he'd been acting like this was no big deal and that I dropped the charges before it went to court. But apparently when he realized I was serious about following through, he decided he needed professional help, which probably means he finally watched the video his lawyer requested and realized how bad it looked. His lawyer tried to argue that it was a family dispute that got out of hand and that Marcus was defending himself after I pushed him first, but the video pretty clearly shows that he and that he was the aggressor for most of the fight. You can literally see him on top of me hitting me repeatedly while I'm trying to get away, and the audio picks up him saying things like this is what you get which doesn't exactly sound like self-defense. The prosecutor was actually really good, and she walked through the video step by step, pointing out each moment where most of the prosecutor. Marcus had the opportunity to de-escalate or lead but chose to continue the violence instead. She also noted that he's significantly bigger than me and that the injuries I sustained consistent with someone being beaten by a larger person, not with a mutual fight between equals.

Marcus's lawyer also tried to bring up the affair like it somehow justified what happened, arguing that I was emotionally unstable and that Marcus was trying to calm me down when things got physical. But the judge shut that down pretty quickly, saying that adultery isn't a crime but assault is, and that my emotional state didn't give Marcus the right to put his hands on me. The worst part was when Marcus got on the stand to testify, because he basically threw Molly under the bus to try to save himself. He claimed that she had pursued him and that he tried to resist but she kept pushing, and that he felt terrible about betraying me but didn't know how to handle the situation. And then he had the nerve to say that he'd come to my house that day to

confess everything and end the affair, but that I'd confronted them before he could explain and that I'd been unreasonable and threatening. Which is complete bullshit because I have text messages from Molly's burner phone showing they were planning to meet up that same week, so clearly ending the affair wasn't high on their priority list. But what really got to me was when he started crying on the stand, talking about how sorry he was and how he never meant for things to go so far. And for just a moment I felt bad for him, because this is my brother and I've never seen him cry before, but then I remembered him on top of me hitting me in my own house and I got angry all over again. The judge found him guilty of simple assault and sentenced him to

six months probation, anger management classes, and a restraining order that says he can't come within 500 feet of me or my property. He also has to pay a fine in court costs, and it's going to be on his record as a misdemeanor conviction. My family is absolutely furious about the restraining order because it means Marcus can't come to family gatherings if I'm there, and my mom started crying in the courthouse talking about how I'm splitting up the family and making it impossible for us to be together for holidays and birthdays. But honestly, I don't want to be around Marcus right now anyway, and I don't understand why

they think I should just get over being assaulted so that family dinners can go back to normal. I'm like, sorry mom, but I don't really feel like passing the mashed potatoes to the guy who beat me, you know. The divorce is almost finalized too, and Molly didn't contest anything, which made the whole process pretty quick. She's moving in with Marcus, which I guess makes sense since they're apparently in love and can't help their feelings or whatever bullshit excuse they're using this week. She tried to talk to me outside the courthouse, saying she knew I probably hated her but that she hoped someday I. I could understand that she never meant to hurt me. And I just looked at her and said you spent months lying to my face and bringing my brother into our bed, how exactly did you think that was going to end?

She started crying then and said she knew she'd handled things badly but that she really did love Marcus and that they were trying to build a life together. And I'm thinking great, I'm so happy for you, thanks for destroying my life so you could find your happiness with my brother. The thing that kills me is that everyone keeps talking about Marcus and and Molly like there's some tragic love story, like their Romeo and Juliet instead of two people who chose to sneak around and lie and cheat instead of handling their feelings like adults. And when I point out that they could have just told me they had feelings for each other

before anything happened, everyone acts like I'm being naive about how love works. But I've been in love before, I fell in love with Molly, and I didn't handle it by lying and cheating and betraying someone else's trust. I broke up with my previous girlfriend and then pursued Molly honestly, like a decent human being, because that's what you do when you have feelings for someone who isn't available. My dad called me last night and said I need to think about what's best for the family as a whole, not just my own hurt feelings, and that holding grudges is only going to make everyone miserable. And I said, Dad, I'm not holding a grudge, I'm holding people accountable for their actions,

and there's a difference even if you don't want to see it. He said Marcus has learned his lesson and that the family needs to heal, but how exactly is the family supposed to heal when nobody wants to acknowledge what actually happened? They all keep talking about forgiveness and moving forward, but nobody has actually apologized for the right things or shown that they understand why what they did was so fucked up. I've been thinking a lot about what my therapist said about boundaries and self-respect, and I realized that if I just let this go and pretend everything is fine, I'm basically telling everyone that they can treat me however. they want as long as they cry about it afterward. And I can't live like that, always wondering who's lying to me or what secrets people are keeping. The hardest part is that I really did love Marcus, he was one of my best friends and I looked up to him my whole life, and losing that relationship hurts almost as much as losing my marriage. But I can't separate the person I thought

he was from the person who was capable of doing what he did, and I don't know how to get past that. Some people have asked me if I regret pressing charges or if I wish I'd handle things differently, and honestly I don't know. Part of me wishes none of this had ever happened and that we could all go back to the way things were before, but another part of me knows that the way things were before was built on lies anyway. At least now I know the truth about who these people really are, and I can make decisions based on reality instead of the fantasy I was living in where my wife loved me and my brother had my back.

It sucks that the truth is so ugly, but I'd rather know than spend the rest of my life being played for a fool. I'm planning to move to a different city next month for a fresh start, somewhere none of them know where I am and where I can build a life that isn't haunted by all this bullshit. I also got a job offer from a company I interviewed with, and it pays better than what I'm making now, so at least something good is coming out of this mess. My lease is up at the end of the month anyway, and I can't afford the house payment without Molly's income, so it makes sense to start over somewhere new. I'm actually kind of excited about it, even though it means leaving everything familiar behind, because maybe that's what I need right now. I know my family thinks I'm running away, but I think I'm running towards something better, a life where people don't lie to me and betray me and then expect me to be grateful for their apologies. And if that makes me the asshole in their story, then I guess I can live with that. Thanks again to everyone who's been supportive through this whole nightmare,

you've helped me stay sane when everyone else was trying to convince me I was crazy. I'll probably post one more update after I get settled in my new place, but for now I'm just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and getting through each day. Final update, so I've been in my new city for about three weeks now and I figured I owed you all one last update since you've been following this train wreck from the beginning. A lot has happened since my last post, some good and some absolutely fucking insane, and I'm still trying to process all of it. First the good news, I love my new job and my new apartment, and being away from all the

family drama has been exactly what I needed. I can actually sleep through the night now without having anxiety dreams about finding that burner phone or watching Marcus hit me, and I'm starting to feel like myself again instead of just this angry hurt person who couldn't think about anything else. The city is great too, it's bigger than where I used to live and there's actually stuff to do here, and I've met a few people through work who seem cool. It's weird being somewhere that nobody knows my story or looks at me with pity or judgment, and I'm realizing how much I needed that fresh start.

But the really crazy thing happened two weeks ago when Marcus showed up at my apartment building. I have no idea how he found out where I live because I didn't tell any of that. one in my family my exact address, but there he was standing in the lobby when I got home from work, looking like he'd been waiting for a while. At first I thought about calling the police because of the restraining order, but then I realized we were in a different state so I wasn't sure if it applied, and honestly I was curious about what he could possibly have to say that was worth driving hours to tell me. He looked terrible and when he saw me he started talking really fast about how sorry he was and how he'd made the biggest mistake of his life and how he needed me

to forgive him so he could move on with his life. And I just stood there listening to him ramble about how guilty he felt and how much he missed our relationship and how he'd do anything to make things right between us. But the whole time he was talking, I kept waiting for him to actually acknowledge what he'd done wrong, not just say he was sorry for hurting me but explain that he understood why it was so fucked up. But he never did, he just kept saying he was sorry and that he loved me and that family was more important than anything else. And when I asked him if he was still with Molly, he said yes, but that it wasn't about her, it was about us and our relationship as brothers. So I told him that there is no relationship anymore, that he destroyed that when he

chose to sleep with my wife. And he got frustrated and said I was being stubborn and holding on to anger that was only hurting myself. He said Molly was miserable because she felt guilty about coming between us, and that they were both in therapy trying to work through their issues, and that everyone would be happier if I could just find a way to forgive them and move forward. And that's when I realized that even after everything that had happened, after the court case and the restraining order and me moving across the country to get away from them, he still didn't understand what he'd actually done to me. He thought this was about jealousy or hurt feelings, not about the complete destruction of trust and the violation of everything I thought I knew about the people

closest to me. I told him that I didn't care if Molly felt guilty and I didn't care if they were in therapy, because none of that changed what they'd put me through or gave me any reason to think they were different people now. And I said that showing up at my apartment after I'd moved away to escape all this bullshit was just another example of him not respecting my boundaries or caring about what I needed. He started getting angry then, saying I was being unreasonable and that I couldn't just cut off my entire family over one mistake. And I said one mistake. You had an affair with my wife for months, you lied to my face repeatedly, you made me think I was going crazy when I started noticing things, and then you physically attacked me when I found out. That's not one mistake,

that's a pattern of choices to hurt me and betray my trust. He said I was twisting things and making them sound worse than they were, and that if I really cared about family I would find a way to work through this instead of running away like a child. And that's when I told him to get the fuck out of my building and never contact me again, because I was done listening to him minimize what he'd done and blame me for not getting over it fast enough. He left after that, but not before saying that I was going to regret cutting everyone and that someday I'd realize family was all that mattered. And I just watched him walk away thinking that if this is what family looks like, then maybe I'm better off without it. The next day my mom called me sobbing, saying Marcus had told her about our conversation and that she couldn't believe I'd been so cruel to him when he was trying so hard to make things right.

And I said, Mom, he violated a restraining order to show up at my apartment uninvited and then got angry when I didn't welcome him with open arms, how exactly is that trying to make things right? She said the restraining order was just a legal thing and that it shouldn't apply to family members who love each other and want to reconcile. And I had to explain to my own mother that restraining orders exist specifically to protect people from family members who won't respect their boundaries, and that Marcus showing up at my home was exactly the kind of behavior the order was meant to prevent. But she just kept saying I was being too harsh and that Marcus was suffering too, and that I needed to think about forgiveness and healing instead of punishment and revenge. And I'm so tired of having the same conversation over and over again with people who refuse to understand that this isn't about revenge, it's about protecting myself from people who have

shown they can't be trusted. I ended up having to block most of my family's phone numbers because they wouldn't stop calling and texting me trying to guilt me into reconciling with Marcus and Molly. And it's sad because I do miss some of them, like my sister and my cousins who didn't do anything wrong, but they're also invested in keeping the family together that they can't see how toxic this whole situation has become. My therapist, who I'm still seeing through video calls, says this is pretty common in families where there's been a major betrayal, that everyone wants things to go back to normal so badly that they pressure the victim to forgive and forget instead of dealing with the actual problems. She said the fact that

Marcus tracked me down after I moved away shows that he's more interested in relieving his own guilt than respecting my need for space. I know some people probably think I'm being too extreme by cutting contact with my family, but I can't keep having the same arguments over and over again with people who think I should just get over being betrayed and assaulted because it's inconvenient for them to deal with the consequences. Maybe someday things will be different, but for now I'm happier than I've been in months, and I'm not going to apologize for choosing my own peace of mind over everyone else's comfort. I spent too many years putting other people's needs before my own, and look where that got me. So that's where things stand now, I'm living my life on my own

terms and not looking back, and for the first time since this whole nightmare started I actually feel hopeful about the future. Thanks to everyone who supported me through this mess, you helped me stay strong when everyone else was trying to convince me I was wrong for standing up for myself. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my spouse was unfaithful when I arrived at our residence to find our sobbing infant in a soiled nappy, then our little girl revealed she was aware from the start and her mother confessed. Her the guy was her real dad. I 35M met my now soon to be ex-wife 33F during uni 12 years ago. She already had kid when she was 19 but the dad left as soon as she started uni.

We were dating for three months before I met her daughter Lisa. I remember seeing her family for the first time. I was nervous meeting her parents, but when I saw a little girl beside her mom, I was confused. I asked her if that was her little sister or a cousin of hers, and her answer shocked me. When she told me that that's her daughter, I thought I misheard her or something. At first I wanted to dump her for hiding something so crucial for me, but she kept on begging for me to stay and eventually I relented and soon enough I started to fall in love with her daughter and wanted to be her father. father figure. Our bond grew stronger over the years and in early 2019, before the pandemic hit, we got married. In late 2021 I adopted Lisa and in early 2022 my wife gave birth to our son Mark.

After my son was born my wife made the choice to stay at home for the time being and I was completely fine with that. Everything was going perfectly until a few months ago. I started noticing my wife increasingly spending time with her friends. At the time, I didn't say anything since, in my mind, being at home all day probably meant eating at her, and I didn't want to seem controlling. The thing that made me suspicious was her constant texting and going out of the room for calls. She never did that for anyone besides this one friend of hers. I asked her about it, but she gave me some vague answers about gossip. The moment that took it too far, though, was when I came home last week and saw her outside talking on the phone. This wasn't out of the ordinary.

I remember seeing my son on the floor crying alone. I was pissed at my wife for just leaving him alone in the house, but when I went to pick him up and smelt the horrible stench coming from him, I was beyond furious. His diaper seemed like it hadn't been changed since that morning. I quickly changed his diaper and rushed outside with him in my arms. I was beyond pissed. I snatched her phone from her hand and bolted back inside. I locked my wife outside to have a talk with this friend of hers alone. I had my suspicions about who it really was and when I heard a male voice calling out her name and asking who was there. I immediately knew what was going on.

He ended the call as soon as he heard my voice. I then proceeded to lock the front door to make sure my wife couldn't enter the house at all and proceeded to screenshot as much of their chat as I could and then sent them to myself before deleting them on her phone. About five minutes later, she was still banging on the glass door leading to the backyard. I reluctantly opened it and was met with a smack in the face. Remember all of this is happening while I'm holding my toddler in my arms. As soon as she realized what she just did, she apologized profusely, started crying and tried to hug me. I pushed her away and told her to meet me at the dining table.

I told my daughter to quickly take care of the baby so me and her mom could have a quick chat. I just kept it simple. I told her this was her only chance to even have a sliver of chance of getting me back. If she fucked up this talk it was over on the spot, no lies nothing. She kept on trying to apologize and to say it wasn't that serious. I reminded her that she not only fucked me over, she could also have easily done serious harm. to our son by leaving him alone in the house like that. I then simply asked to,

for how long? And did they fuck? She replied with her ex-boss Daniel. Six months and she didn't answer the last one, so I kept on reminding her that this was her last chance. She then just simply nodded. I then asked her if they used protection. To this she started crying and started begging me for forgiveness.

She said she would block him then and there. would never contact him again, I could fuck any woman I want from now on yada yada. I guess Lisa heard the commotion and came downstairs. I told her to go back up, but she just walked to my wife and asked her if I knew about Daniel. Up to this point I was calm but upon hearing this, I swear even I started tearing up. I asked Lisa if she knew all along and she said yes. At this point I'm full on crying and I asked her why she didn't tell me. She responded with because unlike you, Daniel buys me the thigs I want without having to beg.

I then asked her how she could possibly do this to her dad. She responded with the you're not my real dad crap. My wife screamed at her upon hearing what she said. At that point I couldn't bear any of this anymore. I just grabbed my son and got into the car. Me and my son are currently staying at my parents' house. I've basically been drinking myself to sleep every day. Thanks to the saint of a mother I have, my son is being taken care of right now.

I'm beyond hurt. I've cancelled my ex-daughter's private school tuitions, all her extracurricular activities, and I've contacted a divorce lawyer. He's going to serve my wife this Friday. My wife and Lisa have been blowing up my phone nonstop with apologies. I simply responded with get a lawyer and tell that I'm, ungrateful thing of yours to start calling Daniel her dad. I'm disowning her and then I blocked my wife.

I didn't respond to Lisa, I just simply blocked her. I guess my wife he told our friends, what her and Lisa did and now they have been texting me nonstop. They understand how I'm feel but believe I'm going too far by divorcing my wife without hearing her out. They also keep telling me that disowning Lisa is definitely going too far and she's only a kid and didn't understand what she was doing. I just can't get over the things she told me.

I've worked my ass off to give my wife and daughter luxuries. I could have only dreamed off as a kid and this is how I get paid back. Lisa, 13 years old, is old enough to understand that hiding her mom's affair is bad and definitely purposely use those words to hurt me. But a part of me believes that there is still hope. A few family counseling sessions later and we can go back to living. the life I once considered a fairy tale. I'm beyond destroyed by this whole situation. A part of me just wants to see them burn in hell but the other part of me believes there is still

hope. Am I really going too far? Is there still hope? Ida for disowning my daughter and divorcing my wife. Update, first off Al I just want to thank you guys for the support you guys have shown me. This past week has been the hardest period of my life. Seeing the love, you shared with the woman you considered your partner for life just vanish, hit me worse than anything else. To those who have privately messaged me, thank you and please be patient with me. I have over a hundred unread messages to date and will need a bit of time to respond to all of them. I just want to update you on the things that have happened since I posted. First of all, I'm happy to report that I've quit the alcohol.

It was tough but seeing how my life was basically falling apart due to my comment. constant drinking, really was a wake-up call for me. As someone kindly suggested, I asked my mom to throw out all the alcohol in her house. The first couple of days were tough with me being more depressed than ever, but I'm doing much better now. As for my wife, I've had a brief conversation with her and I have halted all divorce proceedings for the time being. There is still a lot to navigate and a ton of logistics involved and my decision for divorce seemed a bit in the heat of the moment. I'm not saying that I'm going back to her, I'm just saying I need to re-evaluate everything again. What she did was beyond hurtful and irresponsible. If I were to get back with her, she has to do a lot to make up for this mess. I have removed half of the money in our joint account and have stopped paying the lease on my wife's car. I asked her the following questions, has she been in contact with Daniel since our falling out? She said she has completely cut off contact with her ex-boss and is willing to do anything to make our marriage work.

Why did she go to him slash meet him in the first place? She said, she honestly doesn't know. She met him at a get-together her old company held and in her words they just clicked. They started hanging out as friends and soon things grew out of hand and she started bringing him over to the house when I was at work. Did she have feelings for him while they work together? She said she found him cute but left it at that. They never did anything or said anything outside of work. I then started asking her questions about our daughter Lisa.

Some of you guys rightly pointed out that she probably poisoned her against me. Why did she bring Daniel around our daughter? Lisa once caught them making out on the couch and when she threatened them to tell me they quickly shut her up with gifts and a new phone, etc., and soon enough Lisa started actually started to like having Daniel. around because of the gifts, etc. did she badmouthed me to Lisa. To this she just, she just went silent and started crying. I then pressed a bit more and she finally blurted out that she started telling Lisa that Daniel was her bio dad. NGL after this I myself started crying and just hung up. I did see a change in my daughter around the same time but I just chalked it up to her

being a teenager but hearing this just broke my heart even more. I also want to thank you guys for telling me that it wasn't right to put all the blame on my 13-year-old daughter. I wasn't thinking straight at the same and when I started sobering up I did sort of realize the mistake I made. I have unblocked my daughter and have been texting with her since yesterday. She has apologized to me and it seems like my wife, in desperation to get me back, has confessed the truth to my daughter. My daughter told me that she has stopped talking with her mother since she confessed. I apologize to her for the comments I made about disowning her and we have planned to meet up tomorrow at the local park. I again just want to sincerely thank you guys for the support and the advice. Honestly,

I couldn't have navigated this mess alone while being intoxicated. Only God knows what would happen if I didn't reach out. I also want to apologize for the drunken rant I went on in the comments. I'm beyond embarrassed at the things I said. Again, thank you all for the support and wish you all a wonderful weekend. Edit, I forgot to mention the DNA testing on my son. I do definitely acknowledge it being a possibility but neither am I mentally in a place to be able to cope with the stress of something like that nor am I ready to face the reality that I might look at him differently if the test turns out negative. It'll do it eventually but not now during this mess. Next story, friend took my master bedroom at my bachelorette party, spent the entire day hiding

upstairs on her phone, then posted online how great it was while complaining to my face. I had a very low-key bachelorette party this past weekend. It was only one day with some very chill activities, one winery, high tea lunch, watching fireworks, and going to a karaoke patio bar. There were six of us in total and we had booked an Airbnb for the night. The Airbnb was a house with three beds, so we'd share rooms of two people each. Months ago, when my M.O. communicated the plan to the rest of my bridesmaids, my oldest friend I've known her the longest since high school. All my other bridesmaids and close friends are from university, immediately started causing problems.

I will preface by saying that she, let's call her bridesmaid one, is a difficult friend to say the least. She does not reach out to check in on me, 90% of the time it's me reaching out first to check in on her or try to make plans to hang out. Whenever we hang out, she will only say yes to doing what she wants to do, doesn't matter if I don't want to do it. If I want to hang out, I have to concede. She will usually turn me down if I suggest something new or something that wasn't her idea. She doesn't drive, so I usually have to chafer her to slash from whatever plans we have, or I meet her at her house to hang out in her area of the neighborhood. She definitely has anxiety problems with social activities because even if we just go for a

walk for an hour to chat, one-on-one, she has to hibernate once she gets home and not talk to anyone for days to recover. This is for any social activity she does, not just with me. I will also note that she has very severe food allergies, like an extremely long list of very common foods, to which I have always been very accommodating, and I do my best to make sure she is well taken care of when we go out to eat. I have tried to be so understanding and accommodating to her over the years, but it's gotten a lot worse in the last three to four years. I used to not mind it because I felt like we had a good relationship and felt like I was getting something out of it, but over the last few years I just feel like she's been taking and not

giving anything back. It has become a taxing relationship to maintain, but I feel like I have been hanging on because she is my oldest friend and the only person I still keep in touch with from high school. Back to the Bachelorette party, it was planned in a beautiful and scenic area that's about 1.5 hours away from where I live, but quite central for everyone who is attending. She immediately shut down the plan saying she won't come to the winery because she doesn't like drinking, she won't come to lunch because of her food allergies, and said she would take a two-hour train ride to meet us for dinner at the Airbnb and then take the train home immediately so she could sleep in her own bed. I understand these activities might not be.

for everyone, but I really didn't think I was asking for much. There were non-alcoholic options at the winery, and I chose one that was more geared towards an Instagramable experience rather than getting hammered. Going out to lunch is not a crazy demand, nor is hanging out with me and a small group of people that she has met at my birthday parties every year for the last eight years, for the evening because it is what I want to do for my special day. I didn't respond in the group chat to her message, but a week later she changed her mind and decided to come. Great. I was excited that she'd try some new things and put herself out of her comfort zone. At my last birthday party, she also became quite close with another one of my girlfriends,

bridesmaid two, so I felt reassured that she'd have one other person she was very comfortable with. Bridesmaid two had actually reached out to me before the bachelorette and said she would help babysit bridesmaid one, because she knew I was worried about her. I was very grateful for this. The Bachelorette Day comes around, and I, of course, have to drive bridesmaid one with me, which I didn't mind doing since I would have had to drive myself anyways. She gave me some gas money too, which was nice of her. Things seemed fine in the car, we chatted and caught up for like 40 minutes, and then she kept to herself for the rest of the ride. I was hopeful that things would go okay. We did the high tea lunch and winery back to back, so it was about 3.5 hours of all of us out

and about together. During this time, I kept checking in on bridesmaid one seeing if she was okay, especially at the winery because I knew it wasn't her thing. She did end up trying a few of the wines which was awesome, but I felt like I didn't really enjoy the experience because I was more concerned about her. She didn't make an effort to talk to me or anyone else besides bridesmaid too, and most of the time she just walked by herself or kept to herself at the lunch table. When we got to the Airbnb, she didn't help bring any of our supplies in, but immediately ran upstairs to check out the bedroom and then claimed the master bedroom for her and bridesmaid too. Everyone was shocked but no one, including myself, said anything because we didn't want to

create conflict when we had just arrived. I think it is pretty common knowledge that even if you haven't been to a bachelorette before, the whole point is that the bride should be pampered with the best things, including the room with the biggest bed, which I would have shared anyway. Then she asked for the Wi-Fi password and went upstairs to decompress. The rest of us were chilling in the living room and she did eventually come downstairs, but she just sat on her phone not engaging with anyone for hours. We went to sit on the patio outside and she stayed inside by herself for several hours, during which she made an IG post and tagged me with a caption about having the best

bachelorette party ever, as if it had already ended. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still trying to continue the party and have a good time. We had planned to walk the town in the evening to see some fireworks and then go to a low-key karaoke patio bar and she was openly complaining before we even left about wanting to come home early and how she wasn't going to sleep well since it wasn't in her own bed, again, when she had taken the master bedroom that was meant for me. I tried to give her an out saying she is more than welcome to stay at home if she didn't want to come, and she sighed heavily saying she would rally and at least come out for the fireworks.

She said it as if she had spent such a tedious day being so outgoing and engaged, when she literally showed up to these events and didn't talk to anyone. She did end up coming for the fireworks and sat at the bar with us for 30 minutes before leaving early with bridesmaid too. Once they left, the other girls and I stayed out a bit later and tried to enjoy ourselves. They acknowledged her behavior and tried to cheer me up. I ended up sleeping in the basement with one of my friends who snores like a lawnmower. I am a very light sleeper but agreed to sleep with her since bridesmaid three and four decided they wanted to sleep together. I didn't say anything because I am just very used to accommodating everyone around me.

I couldn't sleep because of my friends snoring, so I actually moved to the couch but still didn't get a wink of sleep because I was so upset about how the day had played out. The next morning, Bridesmaid 1 and 2 didn't come down to help us clean up the Airbnb before we checked out. They came down with their things right when we had agreed to leave, so everything was already cleaned and packed up. Then I had to sit in the car with bridesmaid one as I drove her home and it was most awkward 1.5 hour drive of my life. We said maybe five sentences to each other at the start of the drive, and then she sat silent, arms crossed, looking straight ahead, for the rest of the ride. She didn't make any effort to talk to me and I was still really upset, so I didn't make an

effort either. I was struggling to stay awake since I hadn't slept, and conversation would have helped, but since she was silent I just turned up my music to keep me entertained and awake. Bridesmaid one put a huge damper on the entire party and I really felt like I didn't enjoy my bachelorette at all. It was the one time in our friendship that I expected her to put me first and she didn't. I don't think she even thinks she did anything wrong by taking the master bedroom or complaining and having an attitude the entire time she was there. I believe she thinks she did a great job by showing up, but if she was just going to be miserable,

the whole time, I one thousand percent would have preferred she didn't come at all. I don't think I asked for a lot at all and have been reassured by my other bridesmaids that I am not being a bride assila, which I am trying to be very careful of. Not only that, but I barely got to spend any time with bridesmaid too because she was busy babysitting bridesmaid one. In my opinion, a bachelorette is when you should happily do whatever the bride wants to do and even if you don't enjoy it, you act like you do, so that she has a good time. I understand if people are uncomfortable and really out their situations like at a strip club or something, but there was none of that tomfoolery at all. We literally did the most laid-back things and I planned it like

this so everyone would be comfortable. Bridesmaid one did not do this at all and instead, I was worried about her and accommodating her the whole time. It is a once-in-a-lifetime event that I feel like she ruined for me. I know part of it is my fault too for not speaking up, but I really feel like I shouldn't have had to explain these things to her. I am really upset at how she acted, but I don't know what to do now. She is a person that is very averse to criticism, and I know if I say anything to her at all, she will immediately cut off the entire friendship and drop out of the wedding, which will screw things up for us logistically. She had bought a bridesmaid dress, we have the bridesmaids in coordinating colors with the groomsmen, etc.

On the other hand, I don't want her to be a drag for my entire wedding, it's a cultural wedding that is three days long, and ruin that too. I am also worried that if I don't say anything now and wait until after the wedding to confront her, she will still cut off the friendship and then I'll be stuck with her in all my wedding photos. I think my ideal outcome is being able to clear the air with her before the wedding and her apologizing and acting appropriately during the wedding. But knowing her, I don't think this is feasible, which is why I don't know what to do. I would like some outside opinions on if I am being too harsh, if I should approach her and if so when, how, is it better to have her in my wedding or not, etc. Thank you for listening.

I hope you enjoy this story. Agreed with my deceased mother that I would let my hair grow long in solidarity after she shaved her own during my battle with illness. But now my father's recent partner is encouraging me to do the same. Cut it for her wedding photos. I never thought I'd be writing something like this on unread, but here I am at 2 a.m., unable to sleep, trying to make sense of everything that's happened. This might be long, so bear with me. Five years ago, when I was 17, my life changed permanently.

It started with what I thought was just a persistent cold that. wouldn't go away. My mom kept insisting we go see our doctor again, even though I'd already been twice and was told it was nothing serious. That third visit changed everything. Blood tests, then more blood tests, then specialists, and finally the diagnosis. Stage 3 Hodgkin's lymphoma. Aggressive. Advanced. The oncologist spoke with clinical detachment about treatment protocols and survival rates while my mom squeezed my hand so hard it hurt. I was given exactly one week to get my affairs in order before starting intensive chemotherapy. The night before my first chemo session, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror for hours. I had these long, dark waves that went halfway

down my back. Everyone always commented on my hair. It was my thing, I guess. I knew it was going to fall out. The doctors had been very clear about that, but knowing and experiencing are different things. I thought about cutting it short beforehand to make the transition less dramatic, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Two weeks into treatment, it started coming out in clumps on my pillow, in the shower, in my hands whenever I ran my fingers through it. It was falling out unevenly, making me look diseased in the most visible way possible. I locked myself in the bathroom and sobbed. Not even about the cancer really, but about my hair. How vain is that? But it felt like the physical manifestation of everything being taken from me piece by piece.

My mom knocked on the door for almost 20 minutes before I let her in. When I finally did, she had a set of electric clippers in her hand. Without saying anything, she plugged them in, handed them to me, and knelt down on the bathroom floor. Me first, then you, she said. I didn't understand at first, but then it clicked. She was going to shave her head too. I tried to talk her out of it. Her hair was even longer than mine, this beautiful Auburn color that she'd always worn long. But she was adamant.

We'll grow it back together when this is over, she promised. This is just temporary. So I shaved her head first, and then she shaved mine. We took a ridiculous selfie afterward, both of a us bald, trying to smile through the tears. She printed it and taped it to my mirror with a note, hair grows back. You just focus on growing stronger. The treatments were brutal. I won't detail every aspect of chemotherapy here, but it's nothing like what they show in movies. It's not just feeling a little tired or throwing up once. It's your entire body turning against you,

forgetting how to function properly. I spent more time in the hospital than at home. My mom slept in a chair beside my bed for days at a time, working remotely on her laptop when I was asleep, always there when I opened my eyes. For months into my treatment, my mom caught a cold. But with my immune system decimated by chemo, we had to be careful. She stayed home for a few days while my dad took over hospital duty. When her cold didn't improve after a week, she finally went to the doctor. It wasn't a cold. It was pneumonia. and it had already progressed significantly because she'd ignored her own symptoms while taking care of me. They admitted her immediately. I was in one wing of the hospital, she was in another.

My dad ran back and forth between us, looking more haggard each day. Three weeks later, while I was hooked up to my chemo four, a team of doctors came to speak with me, not my regular oncology team, but different doctors I hadn't seen before. They told me my mother's condition had deteriorated rapidly. Her immune system had been compromised too, not from cancer treatment, but from exhaustion, stress, and neglecting her own health. The pneumonia had developed complications. They were moving her to intensive care. I demanded to see her.

The doctors refused initially, saying I was too vulnerable to infection to leave the oncology floor. I ripped out my four. Alarms went off. Nurses rushed in. Eventually, my oncologist intervened and arranged for me to visit my mom in ICU with extreme precautions, mask, gloves, gown, the works. She was intubated by the time I got there. Unresponsive. Her head still mostly bald with just a thin layer of fuzzy new growth, nowhere near the long Auburn waves she was supposed to grow back with me. My dad stood by the window, staring out,

his shoulders shaking silently. I made a promise to her right there, I promised that I would grow my hair for both of us. That I would let it grow and grow until it reached my feet if I had to. That I would carry this visible reminder of her sacrifice with me always. She died three days later. I wasn't there when it happened. I was having emergency treatment for an infection of my own. They told me afterward that it was peaceful, that she didn't suffer in the end.

I don't know if that's true or that. if it's just what they tell teenagers who lose their mothers to make them feel better. I finished my treatment four months later. Complete remission, the doctor said. A miracle, given how advanced my cancer had been. Everyone celebrated. Everyone except me and my dad. We went home to an empty house where my mom's coffee mug still sat on the kitchen counter,

lipstick stain and all. Dad couldn't bring himself to wash it for months. True to my promise. I let my hair grow. Through the awkward fuzzy stage, through the uneven patches, through everything. It's been five years now. My hair reaches my lower back, thick, healthy, a visible testament to survival and remembrance. Sometimes I catch my dad looking at it with this expression I can't quite name, something between pride and unbearable sadness. Life went on, as it cruelly does. Dad retreated into himself for a long time.

He went to work, came home, heated up whatever casserole the neighbors had dropped off that week, and disappeared into the den with a bottle of whiskey. We existed in parallel for almost two years, rarely talking about anything meaningful, certainly never talking about mom. Then about eight months ago, he met Sarah. They were introduced by his coworker at some company function. Sarah works in human resources at a different firm. She's in her mid-40s, divorced, with a daughter named Emma who's about my age, 19 or so.

When dad first mentioned Sarah, I was actually relieved. He seemed less hollow, started eating regular meals again, even cleaned out the garage one weekend. When I finally met Sarah three months into their relationship, she seemed nice enough. Careful. She didn't try to act like my mother or force any kind of instant bond. She asked questions about my studies, my friends, my plans for the future. Normal things Emma was quieter, kept to herself mostly.

She has this pin straight blonde hair that she wears in a perfect shoulder-length bob. She's studying fashion marketing or something. We didn't talk much, but it wasn't hostile, just awkward in that way blending families always is. Dad proposed to Sarah last month. It was quick, but it was quick, but it was. But at his age, I guess people don't see the point in waiting. The wedding is set for this summer. I was genuinely happy for him, or at least, I was trying to be.

Mom would have wanted him to find someone. I'm sure of that. Everything was fine until last weekend. Sarah invited me over to her home discuss wedding details. I assumed we'd be talking about bridesmaid's dresses or something similarly benign. Emma was there too, sitting at the kitchen island flipping through bridal magazines. Sarah made tea, set out some cookies, and then very directly asked me if I would cut my hair for the wedding. I thought I'd misheard her at first.

But no, she was completely serious. She explained that all the bridesmaids were planning to wear identical updose, and my hair was problematically long for the stylist to work with. She said something about how my hair would overwhelm the visual symmetry of the bridal part. photos. Emma kept her eyes on the magazine, but I could see her nodding slightly. I explained, as calmly as I could, why my hair was long. What it represented. The promise I'd made. Sarah listened, or at least pretended to, and then said something that made Abbott mad, don't you think your mom would want you to move on by now? She wouldn't want you stuck in the past

like this. Sometimes cutting your hair is just cutting your hair, it doesn't have to be this big, symbolic thing. I sat there in shock. This woman who had never met my mother was telling me what she would have wanted. Telling me that my promise, the one thing I had left connecting me to her, was just me being stuck in the past. Then she went further, I'm not trying to replace your mother, but I'm going to be your stepmother. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Is a haircut really too much to ask? For one day? For family harmony? I didn't say anything. I just got up and left. Sarah called after me, saying I was being childish and dramatic. By the time I got home, she had already called my dad. He was waiting

for me, looking tired and conflicted. Maybe you could just consider it, he said quietly. Just this once. Just for the wedding. It would mean a lot to Sarah, and it would make things easier for everyone. Easier for everyone or easier for you? I asked. He didn't answer that. Instead, he said, you're making this harder than it needs to be. Since then, I've received messages from my aunt, dad's sister, two cousins, and even my grandmother, all suggesting I should compromise on this hair issue to welcome Sarah into the family properly. Apparently, Sarah has been making phone calls. The only person who hasn't tried to convince me to cut my hair is my best friend Jess, who also survived cancer in high school. She gets it. She said, promises to the dead matter more than wedding photos. But now I'm sitting here, second-guessing myself.

Am I being unreasonable? Is this just hair? Am I clinging to the past in an unhealthy way? Or is this a boundary I need to maintain? I don't know anymore. But typing this out has helped somehow. If you've read this far, thanks for listening to a stranger ramble about hair and death and stepmothers. Update 1. It's been a month since my original post, and I wanted to update for those who sent messages asking how things were going. First, thank you to everyone who commented and messaged. I read everything, even though I didn't respond to most of it.

It helped to know I wasn't completely off base in my feelings. Things have gotten worse, not better. Three days after my last post, my cousin Ellie texted me screenshots of a group chat I didn't know existed. Sarah had created it, adding various members of my family, aunts, uncles, cousins, even my dad's parents, but specifically excluding me. The chat was titled Wedding Planning and Family Concerns. The screenshots showed Sarah giving her version of our conversation about my hair, painting herself as the victim of my inflexibility and refusal to accept new family dynamics.

She told everyone I was deliberately trying to make her feel insecure because she had thin, fine hair that couldn't compete with mine. She wrote things like, I'm trying so hard to blend our families, but, my name, seems determined to keep us as outsiders. The responses from my family were what hurt the most. People who had known me my entire life, who had visited me in the hospital during cancer treatment, who had attended my mother's funeral, they were all sympathizing with Sarah.

My grandmother wrote, she's always been stubborn like her mother. My aunt suggested that trauma has made her a bit self-centered. My uncle straight up said I needed therapy to let go of the past. Ellie sent the screenshots because she thought I should know what was being said, but even she included a message saying, maybe consider a compromise? This seems to be getting out of hand. I was still processing this when my dad showed. up at my apartment unannounced the next day. He was carrying a cardboard box. He didn't say much,

just handed me the box and sat down heavily on my couch. Inside were old photographs. I looked up at my dad, confused. What is this? I just thought you should see these, he said. His voice was flat, emotionless in that way it gets when he's trying not to cry. I thought it might help you think about what your mom would really want right now. She would want me to keep my promise to her, I said. He shook his head slightly. She wouldn't want you to cause a rift in the family over hair. She was never that petty. That word, petty, it burned. As if honoring a deathbed promise was somehow petty. I went to my bedroom without saying anything else. From the bottom drawer of my desk, I pulled out one of the journals I kept during treatment. I found the entry I was looking

for, dated a few days after Mom shaved her head, and brought it back to the living room. I handed it to my dad, opened to the relevant page. In my shaky 17-year-old handwriting, I had written. Mom shaved her head for me today. She says we'll grow our hair back together when this is over. I'm scared I won't make it that far, but she's so sure. She keeps her. She keeps me. She keeps talking about how we'll go to the salon together for fancy treatments once my hair starts growing back. She made me promise that even if I feel like giving up, I'll keep fighting so we can have matching long hair again someday. I promised her I would. Dad read it, his hands trembling slightly.

While he was reading, I pulled up the screenshots Ellie had sent me and showed him additional ones she'd forwarded later, direct messages between Sarah and Emma that someone had screenshot and shared in the family chat. read these messages silently. Then he stood up, gathered the photos back into the box, and left without another word. He didn't argue anymore or tried to convince me. He just left. I haven't heard from him directly since that day. Communication has been through text messages only, and those have been brief and practical. Will you be at Sunday dinner? Can you drop off the lawnmower you borrowed? Nothing about the wedding, nothing about Sarah, nothing about my hair. The family group chat screenshots keep coming from Ellie, though the tone has shifted from how do we convince her to she's obviously not a team player. Sarah has started discussing contingency

plans for the wedding, having me stand in the back row for photos, having my hair professionally styled, her words, into something that would be less conspicuous, or just not having me as a bridesmaid at all. Yesterday, Ellie sent me a message Sarah wrote to the group. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if my name should even attend. This is supposed to be a celebration, not a memorial service. Her attachment to her dead mother's wishes is casting a shadow over everything. No one in the family chat objected to this statement. Not one person. I've started avoiding family gatherings. I've stopped answering calls from relatives. Jess says I should stand my ground, but it's getting harder when it feels like I'm standing alone. The wedding is still a month away.

I don't know how this ends, but I know it doesn't end with me cutting my hair. Update 2. It's been another month, and things have taken a turn I didn't expect. Two weeks after my last update, I got a text from my dad asking if we could meet at the neighborhood park where we used to go when I was a kid. I agreed. When I arrived, he was already there, sitting on one of the benches by the duck pond. He looked older somehow, more gray at his temples than I remembered seeing before. We sat in silence for several minutes before he spoke. The wedding's been postponed, he said finally. Indefinitely. I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just waited.

After I saw those messages, he continued, staring out at the pond, I started paying more attention. Started noticing things I'd been ignoring. He told me that he'd confronted Sarah about the messages, and she tried to play it off as wedding stress and claimed she was just trying to help with her confidence issues. He said he might have even believed her if that had been the end of it. But then I found boxes in the garage, he said. Boxes of your mom's things that I thought were still in the house. Photo albums, her recipe books, the ceramic bowl she made in that pottery class, her reading glasses. Just personal things. Things that were part of our daily life. Sarah had

packed them all up. When I asked her about it, she said, said she was just helping me move forward and making space for new memories. His voice cracked on the last few words. She was erasing my mother, I said quietly. Dad nodded. It wasn't about your hair. It was never about your hair. He rubbed his face with his hands. It was about removing any trace of her from our lives. And I almost let it happen. We sat there for a while longer, watching a family feeding the ducks, before he spoke again. I'm sorry, he said. I should have listened to you.

I should have seen what was happening. The postponed wedding quickly turned into a cancelled wedding. Sarah told everyone it was mutual, but from what dad said, it was very one-sided. Once he started looking more critically at her behavior, he couldn't unsee the pattern. She had been strategically isolating him from memories of mom and for me, his strength. strongest connection to mom. The family chat dissolved into chaos when the cancellation was announced. Sarah told everyone it was because Dad couldn't move on from his past and I was emotionally manipulating him. Some relatives took her side, saying Dad was making a mistake. Others finally started

questioning her narrative, especially after my Aunt Martha, Mom's sister, got involved and started asking pointed questions about why Sarah was so fixated on my hair in the first place. Three days, after the park conversation, I received a direct message from Emma. I almost didn't open it, but curiosity won out. I want to apologize, this whole situation got so out of control, and I played a part in it. My mom has always been obsessed with appearances. My whole life has been about looking perfect, having the right clothes, the right hair, fitting her image of what a daughter should be. When she saw your hair, it became this fixation for her. She kept saying how it would throw off all the wedding photos, how people would look at you instead of her, how my

hair looked thin and lifeless in comparison. She went on to explain that her mother had been commenting on her appearance her entire life, making her feel inadequate, using her insecurities to manipulate her. She made me resent you when I barely knew you. She's good at finding people's weak spots and exploiting them. I'm not using that as an excuse, I still participated and I'm sorry for that. But I wanted you to know the bigger picture. Emma and I exchanged a few more messages after that. Not friendly exactly, but civil. Understanding. We talked about what it's like to be used as a pawn in someone else's game. We didn't become instant stepsisters or best friends, but we stopped being antagonists. Sarah, meanwhile, has been telling anyone who will listen

that our family is dysfunctional and stuck in the past. That we need things. and can't move forward. She's reached out to several relatives trying to get them to speak to dad on her behalf, but most have stopped engaging with her altogether. One unexpected outcome of all this is that I've been spending more time with my dad lately. We're not back to normal, I'm not sure what normal even looks like for us anymore, but we're talking, not just exchanging pleasantries. Last week, he asked if he could take a picture of my hair. When I asked why, he said, because your mom would be proud of how it turned out. And so am I, update three. It's been about three weeks since my last update. Things have stabilized somewhat, though normal still feels like a distant concept. A week after

the wedding was officially canceled, my dad asked if we could have dinner together. Over pasta that neither of us did more than push around our plates, he tried to explain how things had gotten so off track. When your mom died, he began, setting down his fork, I didn't think I would survive it. Not just emotionally, I mean literally. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, could barely remember to breathe. The only thing that kept me functioning at all was knowing you needed me. He explained that after my treatment ended and I moved into my own apartment for college, he fell apart completely, took a leave of absence from work. Barely left the house. for weeks at a time. When I met Sarah, he said, it was like suddenly being able to breathe again.

She was organized, practical, decisive, all the things I couldn't manage to be anymore. She handled everything. Paid bills I'd been ignoring. Called repairmen for things I'd let break. Made actual meals instead of the cereal I'd been living on. I felt like I was rejoining the human race. He admitted that he saw the red flags. her subtle criticisms of how the house was decorated. By mom, her suggestions that certain photographs be moved to less prominent places, her comments about how some people never move on but he ignored them because he was terrified of going back to that dark place he'd been in before her.

I knew she was trying to erase your mother, he said, on some level, I knew. But I told myself it was normal, that new partners always want to put their own stamp on things. I told myself it was healthy to pack away some of the reminders. I told myself a lot of things so I wouldn't have to face losing someone again, even if that someone was just a relationship that was bad for me. He said that when the conflict about my hair began, he defaulted to what had become his standard operating procedure, keeps Sarah happy at all costs. He pushed me to give in because it was easier than standing up to her, easier than risking the loss of this lifeline he'd come to depend on. I'm not proud of it, he said. I put my need for stability above your need for support. Above your promise to your mother, my wife.

His eyes filled with tears. I failed both of you. I didn't forgive him immediately. The hurt was still too raw for that. But I did reach across the table and put my hand over his, and we sat like that for a long time. He told me he started seeing a therapist. Not couples counseling with Sarah,

as she had apparently suggested as a last-ditch effort to salvage the relationship, but individual therapy to work through his grief and dependency issues. He's only had two sessions so far, but he said it's already helping him see how he's been using relationships as a crutch rather than dealing with his pain. Emma moved out of Sarah's house last week. She didn't contact me directly about it, but she did post on social media that she was starting fresh

and learning to define myself on my own terms. She's staying with her father now, from what I can gather. I sent her a brief message wishing her, her well, and she responded with equal brevity but seeming sincerity. Dad and I have talked about taking a trip together later this year to scatter some of mom's ashes at the beach where we took our last family vacation. We haven't made concrete plans yet, we're both still finding our footing in this new version of our relationship, but the conversation itself felt like progress.

Final update. It's been six months since this all began, and nearly three months since my last update. This will probably be my final post on the matter, not because everything is resolved, but because life has shifted into a new pattern that feels, if not normal, at least sustainable. Sarah and my father have had no contact for over two months now. The last interaction came when she appeared unannounced at our house. I've temporarily moved back in with Dad while my apartment building undergoes major renovations, to collect a box of belongings she'd left behind. Dad was at work, so I was the one who had to deal with her. She barely looked at me as I handed over the box dad had packed weeks earlier.

As she turned to leave, she paused. I wasn't trying to replace your mother, you know, she said, not turning around. I was just trying to carve out space for myself. By erasing her, I replied. She shook her head slightly. You wouldn't understand. You've never had to compete with a girl. Then she walked to her car without looking back.

That brief exchange has stayed with me. So in her mind, she wasn't the villain. She was just fighting for her place. So this is where I leave this chronicle. Thank you to those who followed this saga, who offered support and insight. Writing it out here helped more than you know. Sometimes being witnessed is the most healing thing of all. I hope you enjoy this story.

Allow my unhoused sibling to stay at my place, only to discover her pilfering $2,500 from me on video, funds I had set aside for my children's holiday celebrations. Upon notifying law enforcement, she promptly fled. 34F, single mother of three girls, 13.8.2. Let my sister, 31F, move in with me two months ago and she stole from me. I am shaking as I type this up. Let call my sister Sarah. Sarah lost her job about four months got kicked out of her apartment about two months ago, and didn't have anywhere to go. Being her big sister I offered her a place to stay while she figured things out. Being a single mother with no one to turn to sometimes I felt sorry for her, so I figured I could help her out in this rough patch.

I even started helping with daycare fees for her son, who's three, because I know how tough it can be to make ends meet. Things started out okay, but I started noticing small red flags. First, Sarah's boyfriend, who I'd only met three times, began coming over almost every day while I was at work I didn't love it, but I thought they both needed support, so I let it slide. I did let Sarah know that I didn't want him coming to my house every day and he stopped coming for a while. Then one day he just pops back up. It wasn't long before I noticed other strange things happening. At first I thought I was tripping. Like little stuff would be moved in my bedroom or my bathroom would have stuff missing. At first I thought it was my daughters, but the stuff that was touched or missing they either

don't use or have their own. So without telling anyone I put a camera in my room. I saw Sarah going into my room when I was at work. I confronted her and told her, without letting her know about the camera in my room. I told her I knew she was going in my room and if she does it again she was a out. She half-assed apologized and we moved on. Well, yesterday when I get home, I noticed my closet door slightly opened. I knew something was off because I never leave my closet door open. As I was looking through my closet I noticed one of my handbags was missing. I had been saving up about

$2,500 for Christmas gifts for my kids in the handbag. It wasn't in an obvious spot either. You would literally have to dig under about seven other handbags to get to that one. My heart was in my ass because one. My money is missing and two. That is the money for my kids' Christmas and three. My sister was nowhere to be found. I knew right then and there Sarah took it. I immediately called Sarah, but she wouldn't answer.

I checked security cameras in my room and saw Sarah thieving ass in my room going through my closet. About five minutes later her boyfriend, let's call him Ryan came in my room too. They had to have picked the lock because I made sure my room was locked before I went to work this morning. They spent 45 minutes in my room going through all my stuff trying to put it back like it was. I was devastated. I let her move in with my rent free and bill free and the is how she repays me. About two hours after I got home Sarah and Ryan chose back up. I confronted her immediately.

At first, she flat out lied and denied it, claiming I was mistaken or that I had misplaced the money. But I didn't back down. I told her I had the entire thing on camera everything, including her and her boyfriend going through my things. She was caught red-handed. I told her she had until the end of the day to return the money, or I'd be pressing charges. She started freaking out, saying I was being unreasonable. I really wanted to put my hands on her, but I have two. much to lose. She even tried to drag our dad and her mom into the situation, calling them to

intervene on her behalf. But I wasn't having it. I told them both to stay out of it, that I was handling it my way, and they had no right to defend her when she was clearly in the wrong. And if they want to defend her, they can give me the $2,500 back. That shut them right on up. I also told they didn't have the right to say anything to me about this because they were willing to tell her in their grandchild's sleep outside because they're not ready to have a toddler around there right now. By 8 p.m., she still hadn't given me the money back, and I had no choice but to call the police. I filed a report and gave them the footage. By the time the police got there Sarah and her Ryan had jumped in his car and left. They're both on the run now, and no one knows where

they are. I'm sure she's trying to hide, but I have no idea if they'll even come back or if I'll get my money back. I'm still in shock. I've always tried to help her, and this is how she repays me. I can never trust her again, and right now, I don't even know if I want her in my life anymore. It's one thing to make mistakes, but to steal from family when I've been helping you? It feels like a betrayal on a whole new level. So here I am, dealing with the aftermath, and I'm wondering should I have handled this differently? I really wanted to hurt her and the only reason I didn't was because of my daughters. Even though they are not with me, I still don't want to miss up there in my future. I got a call from one of my cousins and she was telling me that she was

on me side. But she also told me that my dad and his wife called her mom trying to talk junk about me and my auntie shut us down. She apparently told my dad that him and his wife created the Mr. My Sister is because they never said no and gave her any and everything she wanted. I love my aunt for sticking up for me. I'm just trying to process everything, and honestly, I'm struggling to figure out what comes next. So Reddit IDA for calling the police on my sister? Update, hey everyone. First off, I would like to thank everyone for the kind words and support. It really means a lot to me. So, again, thank you. To the people saying it is my fault you can go to hell. That just shows me that you will steal from anyone at any time if given the opportunity. So, for the update.

Bear with me. I worked my overnight last night and barely got any rest today because of this situation. So when I got off work this morning, I really didn't feel like going upstairs to my room so I laid on the couch. Around 10 to 30 I heard someone at my front door. When I opened the door, it was sister looking stupid. When I realized who it was I punch her right in the face. She tired to run, but I grabbed her and pulled her inside of my house. She was alone. I asked her where was my nephew and she tells me that he is with her childhood best friend I will call her Alex. I didn't believe her so I made her call Alex so I could see and he was.

Thank God he is with Alex because Alex is an angel. I asked my sister where my money was and she said gone. I said I know that, but where did it go? This idiot looked me in my eyes and told me that she and Ryan spend the money door dash, going out to eat, and marry Jane. I just stood there and looked at her. She didn't say anything and I know she thought I was going to punch her again because every time I moved she would flinch.

After what felt like hours of me staring at her I called her a dumb bitch. I told her she needed to explain herself. What pisses me off is she wasn't even looking for the money. She was looking for my handgun. She told me that Ryan had convinced her to go to her old job and get revenge for firing her. I told her she was a dummy for going along with that play. I then asked her why did she get fired because she told us her job had to lay off people due to the drop in business. It is a small business and a local family-owned grocery store.

Well, come to find out her and four other employees decided that they didn't want the 15% employee discount they were getting and the $19.50 they were getting paid. They wanted free merchandise and free money for the registers. My jaw hit the floor. Her old employer told her if she paid back the money she took he would press charges. I asked her how much she took and it was about $690, but I think it was way more. Ryan didn't like the idea of her getting ripped off and came up with his plan. She knew I had a handgun.

She didn't know that I take it with me everywhere I go because I have my concealed carry license. While she is taking to me, I'm recording the whole time. She then tells me the reason she got kicked out was because she told her landlord that if he didn't let Ryan stay with her and not be on the lease, she was going to get a bunch of people to bet him up. The landlord filed a police report and had her evicted ten days after. But what really pissed me off is she told me the whole time she was on the run she never once check up on her son. She said Ryan doesn't want him around, so that is why she took him to Alex. At that point I snapped. Everything from her stealing from me to her abandoning her son just came out.

I have never yelled and cursed at no one like that before. I really let her have it. She started crying, but I couldn't care less. She tried to talk, but I told her to shut the fuck up because I was done with her shit. I told her she was a piss-poor excuse for a human being and a mother. I told her that she should be ashamed of herself for what she did to me and how she is treating her son. I told her that I was going to help Alex get custody of her son because she didn't deserve him. She tried to talk, but I wasn't done. I also told her that she is going to jail and Ryan is too.

She really started crying, but again I couldn't care less. I was yelling so loud I think the neighbors heard me and called the police which I was going to do anyway. So, thank you to my neighbors. When I opened the door and seen it was the police they asked me was everybody and everything okay because they could hear me from the street and my neighbors were concerned. I told them no and explained everything that was going on. Sarah was just sitting there like a deer in headlights and trying to play victim. She told the police that I gave her the money. I wanted to jump on her right then and there.

I told the police that the previous officers had the footage of her and Ryan going through my stuff. One of the officers ran her name and seen she had a warrant for her arrest and put her in handcuffs. They took Sarah outside and was searching her. The police pulled some money out her pocket and she told them to give it to me. This stupid bitch wanted them to give me $24.76. Yes, I counted it. I told them to keep it because she is going to need it. The police asked her how did she get there and Sarah said Ryan dropped her off.

They asked her where was Ryan and she said around the corner waiting on her. When one of the officers went to check the dummy was still there sleeping. So he went to jail also. I called my dad and told him what was going on and to my surprise he must have had a change of heart. He told me after my aunt read him the riot act he took everything in and realized we were right. He told me that she is going to have to pay for what she did. I also told him about my nephew, but he knew that he was with Alex and Gluck. glad he was with her. I told him about helping Alex get custody of my nephew and he told me to do

what I had to do. The reason I want Alex to get custody is because she is great with my nephew. She loves him and he loves her. He also is happier when he is with Alex. Even when she would visit Sarah my nephew wouldn't leave Alex's side. She also, if anything ever happened to my sister, she would take my nephew with no problems. Sarah's mom is pissed at me because I will not drop the charges and I gave the police the recording of her telling me the plan she really had because it added more charges. I told her if she was good mother and raised Sarah right we would be going through this. She called me a bitch and hung up.

I blocked her. She can deal with Sarah and pay for lawyers. I will make sure I'm at every court date for Sarah and Ryan if possible. I don't want neither one of them getting out anytime soon. Well, this is my update so far and if anything else happens I will let me. y'all know. Thank y'all again for the support and kind words. Next story, moved out while my boyfriend was at work after he cheated with his best friend who lived with us. Then found out they'd been planning it all along. Sorry, this may be long. I, 42F, have been with my boyfriend, 33M,

for four years, and we've lived together for two years. Our lease is up in a week and a half, and I've made the decision to move out after I found out that he cheated on me with his best friend. For context, his best friend, Tina, 34F, and him were roommates before him and I got together and before we all decided to move and together. He and I were just friends for eight years prior to committing. During our friendship phase any time she would call and needed him he would drop whatever and make sure she was all right. I will admit Tina is not the brightest and at 34 doesn't really know how to be an adult. She fixes everything with two to three different guys a week and it's made easy because of her profession. Not shaming her just stating facts. Over the years,

I had some doubts about their relationship. But he always reassured me that they were just friends, and I trusted him. Two months ago, I found out the truth. His behavior had been changing, he was distant, secretive, and I could just feel something was off. Yes, I would. I went through his phone and saw the exchanges. I confronted him, and after some hesitation, he admitted that he slept with Tina. He said it was a one-time mistake, he regretted it, and begged for my forgiveness, claiming it didn't mean anything. The texts say different especially since there were a few texts from the previous day. I went through his phone at like 3 a.m. He really wants me to stay and work things out. But I can't. I feel betrayed, stops,

humiliated. I'm also angry because he didn't just cheat. He cheated with someone who lived in our home, shared meals with me, had heart to hearts with me, and acted like a friend. They would reassure me about my insecurities about the closeness of their friendship. It's always the ones they tell you not to worry about. I've already decided I'm done. I've signed a lease for a new apartment, arranged movers, and planned to leave next week. I haven't told him yet and I don't plan to until I'm gone. Since he goes to work before me, my plan is to pack and move all my things while he's at work. I'll leave a letter explaining my decision. This is where I may be the asshole. I know he can't afford this place or a new place without me. He's financially struggling and without me,

he's going to have a hard time finding somewhere else to live. But I'm not responsible for fixing his situation, especially after the betrayal. Some friends think I'm justified in not telling him, saying that he made his choices and now he has to face the consequences. My sister, however, thinks I'm being cruel by not at least giving him a heads up so he can make arrangements. I don't feel like he deserves my sympathy. He can have my middle finger though, oh, yeah. Heena doesn't live here anymore either. So, Reddit, Ida for moving out without telling my cheating boyfriend, knowing he can't afford this place or a new place on his own. Update, sorry for the long wait but. A lot has come to light and a lot has happened. I will try not to make this super

long, but if it is, I apologize in advance. Hey, Reddit, I wanted to give you all an update on my situation with my cheating X. First, thank you for all the support and advice. It really helped me navigate and continue to stand on business. As planned, I moved out. It was incredibly hard, but I knew it was the right decision for me because jail is not something I want to do again. The leasing office did contact him so he found out that I was moving. He then decided that he wanted to talk. I did sit down and talk to him. I wanted to see his reaction, specifically his shocked expression. I needed to see that he understood the gravity of what he had done. I said, you want to talk now? Where was this want when you were balls deep in that bitch? When you got to

were smiling in my face like shit didn't happen. When I voiced my concerns and you both reassured me that there was nothing when you would talk shit about all the different sides she would bring home when you would text her late at night in the living trying to get some more, he had texted her the night I found out. I said don't act like you're sorry and don't try any guilt-tripping because all this is on you. I also told him that he was a posse for undermining me and our relationship by telling her that he doesn't mind things that she does that make me uncomfortable. Like wearing only a t-shirt and panties, coming out to talk in only a towel, or having you critique the nudes she would sell to men. Then I hit him with a couple of things

he didn't know I knew. I said why the fuck would you lie and say it's cool and that we had an agreement that we just had to let the other person know and that you were going to tell me, also you said she just rode your fingers. We both know that's a lie. I also said not only did you fuck her, but you continue to pursue her and now I know sometimes you would do it while I was in the room. Now I know why you would always comment on men not being able to make her come after she made that statement it was because that might she told you, you were the only man that made her come that far and that heart. And to think you kissed me the next day and told me you loved me, what a lying asshole. I said, tell me why and make it good because no matter what you say I'm done.

And shocked he was. He was quiet, almost stunned, and finally he was. He was quiet, almost stunned, and finally said, I don't know what to say. I messed up big time. He said I take full responsibility for what I did and there's no excuse. He said we weren't really talking and that he was searching for something to ease his mind and some bullshit I don't remember and that she provided that something. I said so you're telling me that instead of being the grown man you pretend to be and telling me how you feel, you decide to let your dick do the talking. The look on his face was priceless and confirmed that he finally understood the consequences of his actions. I was honest about my feelings of betrayal, disgust, and anger.

I made it clear that I wouldn't be contacting him and that he needed to figure out his living situation on his own. I said Tina might have room for you. Maybe you should call her. He said I cut her off after she moved out because I thought we could work things out. I laughed and said while you thought wrong buddy and got up to finish packing my things. One crucial detail I forgot to mention in my original post was that I spoke with my landlord before moving. I explained the situation, including the cheating and the reasons

for my sudden departure. Because we were so close to the end of the lease, and she understood the circumstances, she agreed to release me from any further obligations. This was a huge relief, and it allowed me to leave without the added stress of financial repercussions from the apartment. I did leave a copy of the new agreement with the X. Now I'm in my new place. I'm out walking my dog, when the universe decided to throw me a curveball. Shockingly, I ran into Tina at my new apartment building. Turns out, she lives there as well. I guess karma has a twisted sense of humor.

I just smiled and started to walk away. Then curiosity got the best of me and I turned around and asked her to talk. Boy, did she talk. I started with now that the situation is over. Tell me what really happened. She says that she was crying to him on the, couch and that he started to rub her leg and move his fingers up slowly. She said he shouldn't because of me, but that's when he told her the lie about us just having to tell each other.

She did that it happened so fast, but she just knows that she was riding his dick and not his fingers. She threw me for a loop and pissed me off by saying, and I quote, I used to purposely walk around half-clothed to get his attention and entice him. She said especially after you stated that you didn't like when I walked around like that and then he came to me and said he doesn't mind and he likes it. I, she, figured that if he didn't care, why should I? She said he would set up movie nights for them to cuddle on the couch while I was at work. I saw Red and it took everything in me not to punch her in the face for the blatant disregard and disrespect. I gathered my composure and said if you wanted his dick so bad why didn't you do all this shit before I was in the picture.

She said she didn't see him like that until she started to see me changing him. By that, she means I stopped him from dropping everything and running to her aid. I mean, she has so many men to choose from, and I didn't think he needed to be Captain Savajo. I said it wasn't enough for you to have community pussy you had to ruin, now I know, am already dying relationship. I asked her when was the last time they spoke, and she said we talk every day, and he's been over here a few times. She says nothing sexual happens, and he talks about how he tucked up and how he wishes this could have been different. Sounds like bullshit to me. I then said I didn't care and that I was done talking and to act like she didn't know me if she saw me. He tried calling and texting

incessantly because Tina told him that I lived in the same complex, but I blocked his number and muted all notifications. I haven't looked back. He also tried to contact my friend, who told him, in no uncertain terms, to leave me the fuck alone. Tina has also been trying to reach out through mutual friends. I have told them all that I want nothing to do with either of them. I'm done with the drama and the lies. Apparently, he's scrambling to find a new place and is kicking himself for his predicament. Honestly, I don't care. He made his choices, and now he has to deal with the consequences. I've been going to therapy, and it's been incredibly helpful in processing my emotions and building my self-esteem. I'm focusing on myself now, and I'm focusing on myself now, and I'm

determined to move forward and create a happy, fulfilling life. I know some of you thought I was being harsh, but I stand by my decision. I needed to protect myself, and I refused to let him manipulate me or guilt me into feeling responsible for his problems. Thank you again for all your support. It meant the world to me. I hope you enjoy this story. An old acquaintance from my school days reached out to me regarding a pact we had made to reunite if we were both unattached at the age of 32, prompting me to end my present relationship and pursue this new opportunity. Get married to her. Throw away a count because this needs to stay secret for now.

I, call me Anthony 32 years old, have been with my current G.F., call her Michelle 33 years old, for four years, no plans of marriage and one time she cheated on me, drunk, mistake, blah, blah, blah, whatever I forgave her. We are pretty much best friends that do everything to do. together and live together, other than the one instance of cheating we have had no major issues and live a pretty good life. She does not want marriage or kids, I do though. It's a hard no for her.

Recently my ex, called her Nicole 32 years old, contacted me over a promise we made back when we broke up, when and if we were both not married by 32, we would find a way to be together. Some backstory on her and I, childhood friends, started dating in middle school, dated through high school, she was accepted to her dream college and so was I. On opposite ends of the country, Virginia Tech for her and Stanford for me. We did long term for two years until deciding to let each other live their life and be more connected to maybe someone closer if it was going to happen, this was a mutual decision and we broke up contact at that point so that we could move on. Her parents still talked to me on occasion, live four hours away, same with sister, 20 minutes away,

and her grandparents two hours away, but never about her per my request. So flash forward I have been getting calls from a weird number once every month since September and just didn't answer because I don't answer numbers I don't know. Figure if important they would leave a message. X's sister comes by and says, hey, this is from Nicole. She said you can read it and respond if you want, and if not then she will understand soon enough. For the life of me I had forgotten our weird promise, but the letter goes, as this, hey, Anthony, I know neither of us have been in contact in the last 10 years, but I'm asking

if you still remember the promise we made. I have no right to ask of it, and if you have moved on then it's okay, as I want you to be happy. First and foremost, I want you to know this isn't a desperation attempt because I'm lonely. My sister was quite keen on giving that as the probable reason as to why I've been feeling this way and why I'm bringing up that old promise. This is more along the lines of I just can't imagine my life with anyone else. I, yes, have been on many dates and had one relationship that lasted over a year, but there was always this lack feeling in me that well and all honestly, they weren't you. You're the guy I knew instantly when we're young that I would want to be with forever, the guy who made me smile, that I could wake up next to

and was genuinely happy knowing that we were together. In my mind you, Anthony, have been my only want and desire, that day we decided to try and move on because of the distance. A want lie took me about a year to realize how stupid that was. It was mutual but my feelings are that I pushed you towards it, I honestly feel like the first suggestion of giving time to each other to finish school and not have to try and coordinate our lives, was the stupidest mistake I could ever have done. Anthony, you are my soulmate, my love, my life, and that is why what comes next I say with all fear aside. I am ready to leave everything and find a new job, to move back to,

Candyland, and be with you. I'm fully prepared to do this if you even think there can be a chance of us again, I love you. I love you and nobody else will ever take the place you have in my heart. I talk to my parents and friends, they are in full support of this. Also, thank you so much for being there for my parents when they needed help moving and working on dad's bike and truck. I had no idea until a few days ago. I will be fully committed to being yours, I want to be part of your life and want you to be in mind forever, growing old, seeing the world change the lives we live together as one, and most importantly I just want us to be happy. I've wasted enough time holding back what I have wanted to say for the last few years, Anthony, I love you so much, I want to

live my life with you. I'm prepared to leave it all for you, and lastly my love, my childhood friend, I'm more than prepared to be your wife and be the mother to our children. If I don't hear back by the end of the month, I will assume you have moved on for the better and will do my best not to reach out again. If you decide otherwise I have left my number and email. Love, insert nickname from childhood, Nicole, to be honest I don't know if I should respond or what I should do. She left her number, one that has been calling me, and her email. I'm conflicted a lot really. I literally cried when I read the letter and it brought back a lot of emotions that I didn't think were still there.

Since Michelle, Nicole, and I all went to the same high school they both know each other and I'm honestly afraid, Michelle, will tell me to go be with her without a second thought if I told her about, Nicole, reaching out only just knowing how she is as a person. I've been debating it since getting the letter yesterday and since I always see good advice here I thought to ask the Reddit family. Edit 1, lots of great advice. Tomorrow Michelle and I are going on a hike so I'm going to bring up what I want and need out of a relationship to be happy. We'll update tomorrow all. Edit 2, I talked to my current GF first. We had a big talk that was the last six hours we were hiking about what we are both wanting in the future. She made it clear that kids and adoption are out of her plan and suggested that we should just be friends if that's what I truly want in the future.

I told her that I would still be friends with her no matter what since all the things we do together and she laughed and said no kids, and I keep my best friend who loves to do the same things I do. Cha-ching It's all good, rather we both be happy in the long run, don't feel too bad or think this is a mistake. We then talked about the letter from my ex and she pretty much said Nicole sounds crazy, but if it's something I want to pursue because of the history we had, then she has no ill feelings of me going that route. Also said if it doesn't work out then I can always go back to plan, no kids and freedom. Thank me for bringing it up then and her typical fashion joked about me going to be blue-balled for a while. Rest of the hike was pretty much us talking like we normally do then debating lunch. When we got to the trailhead I asked if she wanted any alone time or not, she said no,

and that she eventually thought this would happen as we got older. Ask me if we can still do the friend's stuff until something else happens in our lives and I told her yes, of course, she said no harm in that then and that was that. We're at the mall for her girl's lunch and I'm sitting at the table like a weirdo, huh? Um yeah, until I call up the X and see what she is like that is it for now. Update, good evening Redditors, a while back, 2019, I posted about an X that reached out after a decade. Recently I was messaged by a few different people asking for an update. Whether you three had been refreshing the page since then or it just randomly showed up in your searches. I wanted to post up the conclusion of what happened,

what is still happening in the journey since the post was made. After Michelle and I ended our relationship kind of, nothing changed aside from living together in sex, Nicole and I started to make plans for when she came out here for her grandma's birthday. Talking on the phone a lot, emails back and forth, we decided on waiting to video chat or send picks to another since it wasn't too far off when she would be visiting and we thought it would be a good surprise. The initial hello was awkward as hell. When she got out of the terminal, I recognized her right off the bat and was amazed that she pretty much looked exactly the same as when I last remembered. I had seen pictures at her sisters and parents, but I was floored on how much she hadn't changed

in the last ten years. Getting into the car we kind of just stared at one another for a minute and she started off with well. If you don't drive anywhere, people are going to start honking smart guy. That started our week-long catching up journey. We first went to go get some food and decided on pizza, oh yeah, and it was pretty easy going from that moment on. We shared stories of what life has been like, showed off scars, looked at each other's trips and vacations, shared each other's hobbies, she asked about our old group of friends and who's still around, ECT. That small first meeting changed everything in life for us both. I won't go into specifics or minor details on the following dates and days, but to say that week went by in a heartbeat is an

understatement. When it was time for Grandma's birthday it was like old times again, the family was easy to be around, we all joked and laughed and didn't have much of any problems throughout the week. Our music taste was the only problem. Lots of fight. over that radio dial ha-haha. The goodbye felt. Painful, our week of vacation was over and it was time to get back to our lives half a country apart. Flash forward a few weeks, and we decided that I go visit her this time around. Phone conversations were going great and airfare was cheap enough. Texted before I got on the plane and told her my arrival time, landed and felt like I was ghosted. Not there to pick me up, wasn't answering the phone, didn't respond to to any texts, Facebook said last online four hours ago, I started to feel like maybe this was some joke on my behalf and was worried. About 45 minutes go by and I'm walking towards a hotel when the phone rings and I find out she was so unsee about me coming that she spent

the night awake and upon hearing I was on the way, promptly passed out hard. By the time she got to me I was a sweaty mess but was apologetic all the way to her place, and the following two days. We hung out the entire time pretty much doing what we couldn't do where I live, days at the beach, swimming, me getting in a small amount of rock-hounding while she looked for critters, and eating all the Cajun food I could ever hope. In a nutshell it went great and other than the constant bald jokes, I had shaved my head, it was all fun. Meeting her friends, her dog, hanging out and doing things we each love was just tranquil

in every way possible. When it came time to say goodbye she asked if I had a little. any vacation time left and if I did if she could come back up for longer and I of course said yes. For months go by of back and forth traveling on weekends, always on the phone, and by that point I feel like it's time, I ask her if she wants to move in with me, immediately said yes and we made our last vacation week into a road trip to bring her up to where I live. Our dogs got along and she was able to transfer to a new department based pretty close to where we lived. It was a dream coming true and it too went by so fast.

that honestly it feels like it was yesterday. She actually asked me to marry her a few months later and I, of course, said yes. She had glow in the dark rock setup to ask me in our yard when we went up to the deck to watch the stars. I feel like I'm going on a rant here. So much for not every detail, right? Ha ha ha ha. Well, it's been close to a couple years now since everything started. We have a beautiful daughter together Ariana, adopted.

we had issues, she wouldn't be able to give birth, our dogs are jerks and doofuses, Michelle and Nicole have met and we are all friends again, they actually hang out a lot together, she has moved on and we still do a lot of our favorite hobbies together as a group or separately. With COVID and us being at home non-stop together, it's been just fine. Were things perfect? No. But nothing ever is, we had our issues in the beginning and still squabble over stupid things at times. To everyone that was part of the initial journey, I hope you've enjoyed this follow-up.

This was the best decision and my only regret is that we didn't reconcile our relationship earlier. This has went by in a flash and honestly I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. Each day is refreshing and a smile rarely leaves my face. I get to spend my life with not only my first love and childhood friend, but also with great friends and family that are always there for us both. The next story, got jealous when my husband went on a business trip with a flirty female who touches him, so I drove three hours to their hotel only to discover something shocking. Hi everyone, I'm A. 32F, and I've been married to my husband, let's call him Joe, for eight years, together for ten. In all that time, we've always prioritized each other's emotional well-being.

If something hurt one of us, we didn't do it again, no matter what. We valued having a happy, espouse more than being right. Because of this, my love and trust for him grew immensely. I was certain he'd never do anything that would break my heart. But here I am, heartbroken and disappointed. Joe owns a company, and we work together. Financially, we're in a great place. Recently, through Joe's father, we got the chance to bid for a major government contract, a massive opportunity. Due to its scale, several companies, are teaming up, and one key company involved, without whom the deal won't happen, is led by a very attractive, flirty woman. She's the CEO and is openly flirted with Joe in front of me.

We both noticed her behavior, and in order to avoid misunderstandings or conflict, we decided to work on the bid together. Things were okay until one meeting where, during a break, she touched Joe's arm and said something like, if I had a husband like you, I'd never leave his side. You're someone every woman wants, but sometimes even that's not enough. Someone else might steal your mind, I snapped and responded, I'm not following him, he just never leaves my side. She brushed it off as a joke, but I know it wasn't. I saw the look in her eyes, and women just know. Later, I talked to Joe about it. He admitted she was cross-a- a line and that he was uncomfortable, but didn't react strongly to avoid jeopardizing the deal.

I wasn't thrilled, but I tried to understand. Then today, I found out that I was excluded from a three-day site visit for the bid, a trip requested by that woman. Only five people are going, and Joe is one of them. When I heard, I told him I was extremely uncomfortable with this, and asked him not to go. I begged, actually. I said the deal wasn't worth this. We're financially stable and don't need this contract. But he went anyway. Even after everything I said, he left without me. Something broke in me. I trusted him with my whole heart. I truly believed he'd never choose anything over my peace of mind. Now I feel like he did. He left me behind. And it hurts so deeply that part of me doesn't even care anymore. If he comes

back, if he ends up with that woman, I feel numb. A part of me says, come on, ten amazing years, don't throw it all away. Another part wants to take off my wedding ring, send him a photo, and file for divorce. So, Ida for asking him not to go. And how do I even begin to deal with these emotions? Update 1, April 15, 2025. First of all, thank you so much to everyone who shared their thoughts. I wanted to update you on what happened since yesterday. I did something I never thought I'd do. I drove to the place where my husband and his team were staying. Yes, I know, desperate and honestly not like me at all. But jealousy and love can make people do wild things. It was only a three-hour drive. On the way, Joe kept calling and texting, but I didn't respond. I didn't know what to say, and I didn't

to say something I'd regret later. When I arrived at the hotel, I didn't let him know. Inspired by some of your comments suggesting hiring a pie, I wanted to see things for myself. I just needed to know, if something was happening, I wanted to witness it with my own eyes. When I got there, the group of five was sitting together in the lounge. They seemed to be having a good time, Joe included. But importantly, Joe was sitting far from her, so there was no chance. of physical contact. He was engaging in the conversation but still texting me non-stop. From afar, he looked like he was chatting with someone, but it was actually me. Please answer me, don't be mad, talk to me. I had planned to just observe. But I couldn't take it. There was a cafe

near the hotel, so I went there and messaged Joe to meet me. He showed up smiling and hugged me tightly. I was supposed to be strong, to know. demand answers, but the moment he held me, I just started crying like an idiot. He comforted me for a while. Then I finally asked the question I should have asked earlier, and many of you pointed out, why didn't he bring me along? Not as a team member, but as his wife. He said it was because I was already very upset at how she excluded me, and he thought bringing me might escalate attention. According to him, he's been handling her flirty behavior by keeping it light and not letting it cross any lines. Joe believes this woman isn't even after him, she's competing with me.

He said some people feed off of making others uncomfortable, and she's one of them. She chose you as a rival, he said. It's not about me, it's about her wanting to disturb you to feel powerful. That sounds a bit off to me, honestly. She's a successful CEO. She's already powerful, still, he insisted that he's been keeping his distance and not giving her any encouragement. He said he didn't think this trip would affect me this deeply, and reminded me that over 10 years, I've seen women hit on him before, but this is the first time someone has gotten under my skin like this. He also opened up about how important this contract is to him. He doesn't want to disappoint his father, and he feels like we might never get another opportunity

like this. He asked me to trust him. We went back to the hotel together and had breakfast. To be honest, I am not as angry as I was the day before. I didn't even mention divorce during our conversation. I'm still upset, yes, but the heartbreak I felt has eased. I don't know if it's normal, but the sharp pain has been replaced by a strange calm. Tonight, we'll have dinner together as a group. Update 2, April 16th, 2025. Hi again, everyone. I wanted to answer a few recurring questions from the comments and also share how the dinner went. As for Joe and me, we've been together for 10 years and have worked together for almost eight of those. Like any couple, we've had ups and downs, but we've managed to come through without major scars. Joe has gone on

many business trips before, often with other women present, and I've never had a problem with that. I'm not someone who panics just because my husband is away on a work trip. We've faced similar situations before and handled them without much issue because we trust each other. But this time was different. As Joe said, maybe it hit harder because this woman was going after me, not him. She was directly trying to get under my skin. And she succeeded. I let my emotion spiral, and things could have gone to a much worse place, I'm relieved they didn't. Joe told me that while my doubts and reactions did upset him a little, he understands why I felt the way I did and doesn't blame me. He said, if I were in your place, I'd feel terrible too,

but I never thought you would believe I'd betray you like that. He's right, I was unfair to him on that front. But he also told me he knows how much I've endured for him, and that he'll work on making sure I never feel that way again. And I believe him. Now, about dinner, it actually went pretty well overall. Nobody questioned my presence, and Joe told them he invited me. The woman did make a few passive-aggressive comments, though, mostly disguised as jokes. At one point, she said something like, if she weren't always in her husband's shadow, she could be doing so much more. Later, she said I was being wasted in this company and could thrive at a bigger firm.

I didn't let it get to me. I smiled and simply said, you seemed to have a great eye for people's potential. Some of the others in the group, who I already knew, actually suggested I participate in the final day of work. But I declined. I didn't want it to look like I was trying to compete with her

or prove anything. I told them, I'm just here for Joe, and for the fun parts. If we win this bid, we'll have to work with this, woman for another five years, and that worries me. But I also know we won't be seeing her that often. This contract means a lot to Joe, so I guess I'll have to learn how to live with it. Comments where OP has replied, commenter won, you handled her like a boss. She feels insecure around you now. In her mind, the crap she was doing didn't work on you. She's a pathetic little

woman who uses sexuality to get attention and validation. Poor woman. I have a feeling that you'll be updating us more on this, especially if your husband is able to secure the contract. Hoop, thank you. She is really trying to get me as Joe said. I realize that. The thing is I don't talk about these things to my family or my friends. I love this place I can share everything and also my private life is private. I really think I would use here and get your opinions on this. Commenter two, I'm glad things worked out and you and your husband are in a good place. Just curious, for the project, assuming you were awarded the contract, does your husband have to be the point person? Can someone else take the lead on it like you, his father, another employee?

Five years is a long time for him to have to deal with the flirting and innuendos, but I guess the same can be said for you having to deal with her passive-aggressive attitude and behavior. Oop, unfortunately as he is the owner and the CEO of our company, he will have to deal most of it. But he will include me legally so I will be there every step and she cannot exclude me. I hope she will find herself someone else at some point. Commenter three, that's awesome. Next time she calls for a meeting you go instead of him. We all agreed with your assessment that I have more potential, so I'll be point on this contract from

on. There's nothing you need Joe for that I can't handle on his behalf right. Smile oop, she'll see more of me smile. I hope you enjoy this story. Arrived home feeling drained and my spouse's companions labeled me unsociable for not desiring to socialize, so I retreated to my chamber but then I eavesdropped on my spouse conversing with them. She wished she married someone different and wanted to leave. I worked construction and yesterday I had one of those days where everything goes wrong and you're out there in 95 degree heat for 12 hours straight because the concrete pour got delayed and then we had to stay late to finish the foundation work and by the time I got home I was covered in dust and sweat and my back was killing me and all I

wanted was a shower and maybe to sit down for five minutes and not think about anything. But when I walked through the door my wife Adriana had three of her friends over and they were all sitting in the living room with wine glasses and music playing and they all looked at me like I was some kind of intruder in my own house and I could tell they'd been talking about something because they got all quiet when I came in. Adriana goes, oh hey, babe, you remember Fiona and Gina and Jane and I nodded and said, hey, but I was honestly too tired to do much more than that and I just wanted to get upstairs and shower off all this concrete dust that was making me itch everywhere and maybe grab something to eat. But then Fiona, who I've never really liked because

she's always got this attitude like she's better than everyone, she goes, wow, not even going to join us for a drink. That's pretty antisocial and she's looking at me with this smirk that I know means she's trying to start something. And I'm standing there thinking, I've been working since 6 a.m., I'm exhausted, I'm dirty, I just want to clean up, but I can see Adriana looking at me with this expression like she's embarrassed or something and I'm starting to feel this anger building up because why should I have to perform for these people when I just worked my ass off all day to. Pay for this house they're sitting and drinking wine that I paid for. So I said, yeah, I'm going to pass tonight, I'm pretty beat and I started heading toward the stairs,

but then Gina pipes up with that so rude. We hardly ever see you and Jane nods and goes Adriana was just telling us how you never want to socialize anymore and I can feel my face getting hot because what the hell is Adriana telling these people about me? I turned around and I probably should have just kept walking but I was tired and annoyed and I said, look, I work 60 hours a week, I'm covered in concrete dust, I haven't eaten since lunch, maybe cut me some slack here and Fiona laughs this fake laugh and goes there's always an excuse with you, isn't there?

That's when I really started getting pissed because who the hell is she to judge me and I said excuse me? I don't think working to support my family is an excuse and Adriana jumps in with this voice like she's talking to a child and goes, okay, everyone let's just calm down, but she's looking at me like I'm the problem here. And Fiona, she just won't let it go, she goes, you know what, this is exactly what we were talking about before you got home, you're always so defensive and angry and I'm thinking what the hell were they talking about before I got home and why is my wife discussing our business with these people? I looked at Adriana and I said, what exactly were you talking about and she got this look on her face like a deer in headlights and goes nothing.

We were just chatting, but I could tell she was lying and all her friends are sitting there watching this like at some kind of show. So I said fine, I'm going upstairs and I left them there and went to take a shower and I figured that would be the end of it, but I could hear them talking and laughing downstairs and it was really bothering me because I had this feeling they were talking about me and making jokes about me while I'm upstairs trying to wash off a day's worth of hard. Work living room and they all got quiet again when they saw me and Fiona said something under her breath that made the other two laugh and I just ignored it and went to the kitchen. But then I could hear them talking again and I heard Adriana's voice say something about always in a bad mood and never wants to do anything fun and I'm standing there making a sandwich thinking, is this really what my wife thinks of me and is this what she tells her friends?

So I took my sandwich and went upstairs to our bedroom and turned on Netflix and figured I'd just stay out of their way but the walls in our house are thin and I could hear everything they were saying and that's when things got really bad. I heard Fiona say I don't know how you put up with it and Gina goes he's always so moody and hostile and Jane chimes in with that's not normal behavior for a husband and I'm sitting there eating my sandwich thinking these people don't know anything about me or my marriage but they're sitting in my living room judging me. But then I heard Adriana's voice and she said you guys don't understand, it's gotten so much worse lately, he's become really controlling and he gets angry over everything and I almost

choked on my sandwich because what the hell is she talking about? I've never been controlling, I work all day and come home and try to stay out of everyone's way. Then Fiona goes that sounds like emotional abuse to me and my heart just stopped because where the hell is this coming from and Gina agrees and goes yeah, that walking away thing he just did, that's manipulation and I'm thinking how is me going upstairs to shower manipulation. And then Adriana, my heart wife who I've been married to for four years, she goes sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I'd married someone different, someone who actually wants to be part of life instead of just existing in it and I had to put my sandwich down because I felt like I was going to throw up.

Jane goes, you deserve better than this and Fiona says you need to think about whether this is the life you want and Adriana just sighs and goes, I know, I think about it all the time, he's just so negative and toxic and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. I sat there for maybe 10 minutes just staring at the wall because I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I'm trying to figure out when I became this terrible person she's describing because I go to work every day and I pay the bills and I don't cheat and I don't drink too much and I don't hit her and I thought we were happy or at least okay. Eventually I heard them getting louder and more wine must have been involved because Fiona's voice was getting that slurred edge it gets when she's drunk and she was saying things like he probably monitors your phone and does he control the money and Adriana was going well. He does handle all the finances and I'm thinking, of course, I handle the finances because she asked me to because she hates dealing with bills and budgets. Then Gina says something about classic signs of abuse and Jane goes, you need to document everything and I realized they were talking about me like I'm some kind of criminal and my wife is just sitting there letting them paint me as this abusive monster when all I did was come home tired from work and want to shower. I couldn't take it anymore so I put on my headphones and tried to watch TV, but I kept thinking about what.

what Adriana said about wishing she'd married someone different and wondering how long she's felt this way and whether our whole marriage has been a lie. They finally left around 11 p.m. and Adriana came upstairs and acted like nothing happened and asked if I was okay and I said I was fine because I didn't know what else to say and I needed time to process what I'd heard. But I've been lying here thinking about it and I can't shake the feeling that I'm being set up for something and that my wife has been talking about me behind my back for who knows how long in painting me is this terrible person to justify whatever she's planning to do. Am I the asshole for going to my room instead of hanging out with her friends?

Edit. Some people are asking about our relationship history. We've been together for six years, married for four. Adriana works part-time at a boutique and I work construction full-time. We bought our house two years ago and I thought things were good between us. I guess I was wrong. Update 1. I don't even know where to begin, but I guess I should tell you what happened because it's insane and I'm sitting in a hotel room right now trying to figure out what the hell my life has become. So yesterday morning I woke up and Adriana was already gone to work and I figured maybe we could talk when she got home because I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd heard the night before and I needed to understand what was going on with us. I went to work but I couldn't concentrate and my foreman Frank asked if I was okay because I was being sloppy and almost dropped a beam on my foot and I told him I was having some problems at home and he said to take the afternoon off and get my head straight. So I came home early around 2 p.m. and Adriana's car wasn't there but I figured I'd wait for her and maybe clean up the house a bit and try to think about how to approach this whole thing without it turning into a fight.

But when I walked in the house I could hear voices in the living room and I thought maybe Adriana had. come home for lunch by Uber and brought one of her friends, but when I looked around the corner it was Fiona and Gina sitting at my kitchen table looking through papers and they both jumped when they saw me. Fiona goes, oh, we didn't expect you home so early and I'm standing there looking at these two women in my house without my wife and I said, where's Adriana and what are you doing here and Gina gets this nervous look and goes she gave us a key, we're just waiting for her. And I'm thinking why the hell does my wife give keys to people without telling me and I said

waiting for her for what and Fiona gets that attitude again and goes that's between us and Adriana and I realized they had a bunch of papers spread out on my table and I could see what looked like bank statements and I said are those my financial documents. Gina tries to cover them up and goes we're just helping Adriana with some things and I walked over and I could see they had my bank statements, my pay stubs, even documentation from when we bought the house and I said what the hell is this and Fiona stands up and goes you need to calm down. But I wasn't going to calm down because these people were going through my private financial information in my house without my permission and I said get out, both of you, right now and

Gina goes, we're not leaving until Adriana gets here and I said yes you are, this is my house and you're going through my personal documents without permission. Fiona gets in my face and goes this is exactly what we're talking about. You're being aggressive and controlling and I said I'm being aggressive. You're in my house going through my bank statements and she goes Adriana has every right to access this information. I said Adriana has access to everything. She's on all the accounts, but you two don't and Gina pipes up with we're helping her understand her options and that's when it clicked that they were helping her figure out finances for a divorce. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and I said, get out now or I'm calling the police and Fiona laughs and goes go ahead, call them, they'll want to hear about how you're threatened. us and I said I'm not threatening anyone, I'm telling you to leave my house. That's when

Adriana walked in and saw us all standing there and she got this panicked look and Gina goes he came home early and started yelling at us which was not what happened at all and Adriana looks at me and goes, why are you being so hostile? I said Adriana, why are your friends going through our financial documents and she gets defensive and goes I can share whatever I want with my friends and I said our bank statements and mortgage papers without discussing it with me first. Fiona jumps in with C, he's trying to control what you can and can't do and I said, I'm not trying to control anything. I just want to understand why my private financial information is being shared with people who aren't part of this marriage. Adriana goes because I needed help

understanding our finances and I said you could have asked me I would have explained anything you wanted to know and she goes right like you explain anything you just handle everything yourself and expect me to trust you. I'm standing there thinking when did asking me about our finance, finances become impossible and I said Adriana, you've never asked me about money that I didn't answer and Fiona goes that's what every controlling husband says. Gina starts gathering up the papers and goes we should go but Adriana tells them to stay and I said no, they should go. We need to talk about this privately and Adriana goes, I don't want to be alone with you when you're like this. That hit me like a truck because like what? Like what exactly? I said like what, Adriana. What am I? being like. And she goes, you're being aggressive and scary and I looked around at these three

women who were looking at me like I was some kind of dangerous animal and I realized they had already decided I was the bad guy no matter what I said or did. I said I'm going to go for a drive. When I come back I want them gone so we can talk and I turn to leave but Fiona goes running away again. That's mature and I just lost it and turned around and said, you know what, Fiona, you've been talking shit about me in my own house for two days now and I'm sick of it. She goes, there it is, the real you coming out and Adriana goes, please don't yell and I said I'm not yelling, I'm trying to understand why my marriage is being discussed and dissected by people who don't even like me.

Gina goes, we like you fine, we just think Adriana deserves better and I said based on what. You don't know anything about our relationship and Fiona goes we know enough. I looked at Adriana and I said, is this what you want? You want your friends to decide what's best for your marriage. And she just stood there not saying anything, and that's when I realized she had already made up her mind about everything. I said, fine, I'm leaving, figure out whatever you need to figure out, and I went upstairs to grab some clothes, and when I came back down they were all huddled together whispering, and they stopped when they saw me. I said, Adriana, we need to talk tomorrow when you're ready to have an actual conversation, and Fiona goes she doesn't have to talk to you if she doesn't want to, and I said actually.

She's my wife, so yeah, we do need to talk. That's when Fiona got really nasty and goes not for long if she's smart and I said what's that supposed to mean and she goes it means she's finally seeing you for what you really are. I looked at Adriana and said, Is that how you feel? And she wouldn't look at me and just said I think you should stay somewhere else tonight and I said this is my house too and Gina goes maybe legally but she doesn't feel safe with you here. I said safe from what? What exactly do you think I'm going to do to her? And Fiona goes, we've heard the stories and I said what stories? And Adriana finally looks at me and goes, just go, please.

So I left and I'm in this hotel and I keep thinking about Fiona saying we've heard the stories and wondering what stories Adriana has been telling about me and when our marriage became something she needed to escape from. I called her this morning and she didn't answer so I texted and asked if we could meet and talk and she texted back that she needed space and would call me when she was ready. I don't know what I'm supposed to do here because it feels like I'm being tried and convicted for crimes I don't even know I committed and my wife won't talk to me and her friends are treating me like I'm dangerous. Am I losing my mind or is this as crazy as it seems to me?

Edit. A few people asked about Jane since I mentioned three friends but only the other two show up in the update. Jane and her husband moved to Arizona the day after that night for his job transfer so she wasn't around for any of the drama that followed. The whole wine night was actually supposed to be a goodbye party for her which makes it even more fucked up that they spent it talking shit about me instead of celebrating her move. Update 2, I can't even believe I'm typing this but my whole life just exploded and I still can't wrap my head around what happened. So yesterday morning I decided I wasn't going to sit in that hotel room anymore. and I drove to Adriana's work to try to talk to her because she wasn't answering my calls or texts and I figured if we could just have a normal conversation away from her friends maybe we could figure this out. I waited in the parking lot until her shift ended and when she came out she saw me and her face just fell and she looked scared which made no sense because I'm her husband not some stalker but she walked over to my truck and said, what are you doing here?

I said Adriana, we need to talk. This is getting out of hand and she goes, I told you I needed space and I said it's been three days, how much space do you need to think about our marriage and she looked around like she was checking to see if anyone was watching us. She got in the truck and said fine, but not here so we drove to a coffee shop and found a corner table and I tried to hold her hand but she pulled away and that's when I knew this was going to be bad. I said, Adriana, I heard what you said to your friends the other night about wishing you'd

married someone different and I need to understand where that's coming from and she wouldn't look at me and just stirred her coffee and said I was just venting, I said that didn't sound like venting. That sounded like you've been thinking about this for a while and she finally looked up and goes maybe I have and I felt like the floor dropped out from under me. I said, what did I do? What happened to us? And she goes, it's not about what you did, it's about who you are and I said who am I, Adriana? because apparently I don't know anymore. She started crying and said, You're just so angry all the time and you shut me out and I feel like I'm living with a stranger and I'm sitting there thinking angry about what and shutting her out how because we watch TV together every night and we talk about our days and I thought we were fine.

I said, can you give me an example of when I've been angry or shut you out and she goes like the other night with my friends, you were so rude and hostile and I said I was tired, I worked 12 hours and came home dirty and exhausted. She goes, that's what I mean, there's always a reason, always an excuse and I said working 12 hours isn't an excuse, it's reality, and she shakes her head and goes, you don't get it, I said then help me get it, tell me what I'm missing and she goes you control everything, the money, what we do. Who we see and I'm thinking what is she talking about because she has access to all our accounts

and she's the one who usually decides what we do on weekends. I said Adriana, you have your own debit card, you can spend whatever you want, how is that controlling and she goes but you handle all the bills and you get upset if I spend too much and I said I get concerned when we're over budget, that's not the same as controlling. She goes see, you're doing it right now, making me feel bad for how I feel and I said, I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm trying to understand what you're talking about but she just shook her head like I was proving her point. We sat there for a few minutes and then she said, we should separate for a while so I can figure out what I want and I said, what about counseling,

what about trying to work on whatever problems you think we have. She goes, I don't think counseling will help and I said, why not? And she goes because you'll just manipulate the counselor like you manipulate me and I almost spit out my coffee because where the hell is this coming from? I said, when have I ever manipulated you? And she goes all the time, like when you get quiet and moody when you don't get your way and I said I get quiet when I'm tired or stressed, that's not manipulation. But she had that look like she'd already decided everything and nothing I said was going to

change her mind and I realized her friends had convinced her that everything I did was some kind of abuse and she was seeing our whole relationship through that lens now. I said, Adriana, do you really think I'm abusive? And she hesitated and then said, I think you have controlling tendencies and I said that's not what I asked and she goes, I don't know, maybe. That maybe hit me like a punch to the gut because if my own wife thinks I might be abusive then what's the point of trying to save this marriage and I said if you really think that then maybe we should just get divorced. She started crying harder and said maybe we should and that's when I knew it was over because she didn't even try to deny it or say she wanted to work on things. We sat there for another few minutes and then she said she was going to stay at her sister's house for a while and I said what about our house and she goes, I don't know, we'll figure it out.

I drove her back to her car and she got out and said, I'm sorry and I said for what. And she goes for everything and then she was gone. I went back to the hotel and I was sitting there feeling like my whole life just ended when my phone rang and it was a number I didn't recognize and when I answered it was a cop saying they needed to talk to me about a domestic dispute complaint. I said what domestic dispute? And he said someone had called and reported that I was harassing my wife and making threats and I said I haven't made any threat. I just had coffee with her an hour ago. He said he needed to take a statement and asked where I was and I told him I was at XYZ hotel and he said he'd be right over and I'm sitting there thinking what the hell is

happening to my life. The cop showed up with a partner and they were actually pretty decent and asked me to explain my side of things and I told them about the separation and the meeting and they took notes and asked if I had ever hit my wife or threatened her and I said absolutely not. Then one of them said, sir, we have to ask, have you been going through her personal belongings or monitoring her phone or computer? And I said no, why would I do that? And he goes the complaint mentioned controlling behavior. I explained about finding her friends going through our financial documents and how that led to the fight and they looked at each other and one of them

said, so you're saying she gave them access to your joint accounts. And I said apparently they asked a few more questions and then said they didn't see any evidence of criminal behavior, but I should probably stay away from my wife for a few days while things cooled down and I said I was already staying at a hotel. After they left I called my brother and told him what was happening and he said, dude, you need a lawyer right now and I said for what? And he goes because it sounds like she's building a case against you, I said a case for what. And he goes divorce, alimony, maybe trying to claim abuse so she gets more of the assets and I hadn't even thought about that but it made sense with her friends going through our financial stuff. So this morning I called a divorce lawyer

and had a consultation and he said based on what I told them it sounds like my wife has been planning this for a while and the friends were probably helping her document everything for the divorce proceedings. He said the police report, even though no charges were filed, could be used to paint me as unstable or threatening and that I should be very careful about any contact with her going forward. I'm supposed to meet with him again tomorrow to start filing papers because a Apparently if I don't file first she might try to get a restraining order or claim I'm hiding assets or who knows what else. I keep thinking about that conversation and how she said maybe when I asked if she thought

I was abusive and wondering how long she's been planning this and whether anything about our marriage was real. The lawyer said her friends going through our financial documents was actually a good thing for me because it shows premeditation and planning rather than a spontaneous decision based on actual abuse. I can't believe this is my life now. Final update, I don't even know why I'm writing this except maybe I need to get it all out because the last 24 hours have been completely insane and I feel like I'm living in some kind of nightmare that just keeps getting worse. So after I posted that update I was back at the hotel trying to figure out what the hell to do next when my phone started blowing up with calls from numbers I didn't recognize and when I finally answered when it was my neighbor Simon asking if I was okay and what the hell was going on at my house.

I said, what do you mean what's going on and he goes, there's cops here in ambulances and Adriana's crying on the front lawn and I felt like I was going to throw up because what the hell was he talking about? I said, Simon, what's happening and he goes well something's going on because they've got the whole street blocked off and I hung up and drove home even though the lawyer told me to stay away. When I got to my street there were three cop cars and an ambulance and a bunch of neighbors standing around and I could see Adriana sitting in the back of one of the ambulances with a blanket around her shoulders talking to a paramedic and when she saw me she started crying louder.

One of the cops came over and said, sir, you need to leave immediately and I said, this is my house. What's going on and he goes we have a complaint of domestic violence? I said domestic violence. I haven't even seen my wife since yesterday afternoon and I've got witnesses and he looked skeptical and said she's got bruises on her arms and she says you grabbed her and shook her. I felt like the world was spinning because this was a impossible and I said, officer, I was at the XYZ hotel last night, I can show you the receipt, I can show you the key card, I ordered room service, there's got to be cameras, but he just told me to back away from the scene. Another cop came over and said, are you the husband? And when I said,

yes, he goes, we need to place you under arrest and I said for what. And he goes assault and battery, and that's when I really started panicking. I said I want to call my lawyer and they said I could do that from the station and they put me in handcuffs right there in front of all my neighbors and I could see people taking pictures with their phones and I felt like my whole life was being destroyed in real time. At the station they put me in a holding cell and let me call my lawyer and when I told him what happened he said don't say anything to anyone until I get there and I said but I have an alibi. I wasn't even there and he goes just sit tight and don't talk. He showed up about two hours later and we had a meeting with the detective and my lawyer presented the hotel receipts and

the key card records and the room service receipt from 9 p.m. and asked them to check the hotel security cameras and you could see the detectives face change when he realized I couldn't have been at my house when Adriana said. The attack happened. The detective left the room and came back about 30 minutes later and said there seems to be some confusion about the timeline and my lawyer said what kind of confusion and he goes the alleged victim may have been mistaken about when the incident occurred. My lawyer said or the incident didn't occur at all and the detective said they were going to need to do more investigation and released me but said not to go home or contact my wife. I went back to the hotel and I was sitting there trying to figure out

what the hell just happened when my phone rang and it was Fiona and she was drunk crying and saying I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen like this. I said what wasn't supposed to happen like this and she goes, Adriana wasn't supposed to call the cops. We were just trying to help her get ready for the divorce, and I said, get ready how? She's crying and slurring her words and goes, we told her she needed to document everything. That she needed proof you were abusive, and I said proof of what? I never touched her and Fiona goes, we know, but she needed something for the divorce. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I said, are you telling me she made up the bruises?

And Fiona starts sobbing and goes it was my idea. I said she should take pictures of some marks and say you did it, but she wasn't supposed to actually call the police. I said what marks? What are you talking about? And she goes she fell at work a few days ago and had bruises on her arms and I said she should take pictures and say you grabbed her and I felt like I was going to be sick. I said Fiona, are you saying my wife has been planning to frame me for domestic violence? And she goes not frame you, just give her leverage in the divorce and I said that's the same thing.

She kept crying and saying she was sorry and that Adriana was supposed to just threaten to show the pictures to get a better settlement. But then her sister told her she should call the police to make it official and everything got out of hand. I hung up and called my lawyer immediately and told him about the conversation and he said, please tell me you recorded that and I said no, but I can try to get her to say it again and he goes, do not contact her, but if she contacts you again, record everything. About an hour later Fiona called back and this time I was ready and I recorded the whole thing and she basically repeated everything she'd said before about how they planned to use fake domestic violence allegations to help Adriana in the divorce and how it wasn't supposed

to involve the police. My lawyer said this was huge and that we needed to get this information to the police immediately because filing a false police report is a felony and so is filing false domestic violence charges. This morning we went to the police station and played the recording for the detective. The detective said they were going to arrest both Adriana and Fiona and that all charges against me would be dropped and expunged and that they might also charge Gina if they could prove she was part of the conspiracy. I asked what happens now and he said Adriana would probably be charged with filing a false police report and possibly perjury if she lied in her official statement and that I should contact a civil attorney about suing for defamation

and false imprisonment. My divorce lawyer said this changes everything because now we can prove she was acting in bad faith and trying to defraud me and that she'll probably get nothing in a divorce and might even owe me money for damages. I keep thinking about how close I came to being arrested for something I didn't do and how my wife, the person I trusted more than anyone in the world,

was willing to destroy my life and my reputation just to get more money in a divorce. The craziest part is that if Fiona hadn't gotten drunk and called me feeling guilty, I might be sitting in jail right now facing years in prison for domestic violence I never committed and Adriana would be playing the victim and probably getting sympathy from everyone while I lost everything. I don't know how someone can be married to a person for four years and not know they're capable of something like this, but I guess that's what I get for trusting someone who was apparently

planning to betray me the whole time. The divorce papers are being filed tomorrow and my lawyer says we're going to go after her for everything we can get and I don't feel bad about that at all because she tried to ruin my life over money. I still can't believe this is real. Final update, I know most of you probably forgot about this whole mess by now, but I figured I should close the loop on everything that happened because a lot of people were asking for updates and the divorce finally went through last week. So after everything went down with the arrests and the false charges Adriana ended up pleading guilty to filing a false police report and got six months probation in community service and had to

pay a fine and Fiona got the same thing plus she had to pay restitution for my legal fees, which was nice because those bills were getting pretty steep. Gina didn't get charged with anything because they couldn't prove she knew about the fake bruise plan but honestly I think she was probably in on it too based on how she was acting that day they were all going through my financial documents. The divorce took forever because Adriana kept trying to drag it out and claimed she was the victim of abuse even after she'd been convicted of lying about it, but my lawyer shut that down pretty fast every time she tried to bring it up and eventually her lawyer told her to stop

because it was just making her look worse. She ended up getting basically nothing except her car and her personal stuff and she had to split the lawyer fees with me even though mine were way higher because of all the criminal stuff and she had to sign a paper saying she would never claim I abused her or contact me again. I got the house and most of our savings and my retirement account stayed mine and I didn't have to pay any alimony because of the false charges thing which my lawyer said was pretty rare but the judge was really pissed off about the whole situation. The weirdest part was that Adriana's sister came to talk to me a few weeks before the divorce was final and apologized and said she had no idea what Adriana was planning and that she only

told her to call the police because she believed Adriana's story about me hitting her. She said Adriana had been complaining about our marriage for months and making me sound like this terrible controlling husband and that she and Adriana's mom had been encouraging her to leave me, but they never thought she would make up abuse allegations. I asked her when Adriana started talking about our marriage being bad and she said it started right after we bought the house and Adriana realized how much money I was making and how much our assets were worth and that's when she started saying I was controlling and didn't let her have access to money. Which was complete bullshit because Adriana knew exactly how much money we had and where it all was and she had

her own cards and accounts but I guess she thought she could get more if she played the victim. Her sister said Adriana's been living with their mom since everything happened and working at some retail job making barely anything and that she's been telling people I ruined her life and got her arrested for no reason. I said she got herself arrested by filing false charges against me and her sister nodded and said I know, but Adriana doesn't see it that way. She still thinks she was justified because you were emotionally abusive. I asked what emotional abuse she was talking about and her sister said working too much, not wanting to socialize, handling the finances, you know, all the stuff her friends convinced her was abuse and I realized Adriana

probably still believes she was the victim in all this. It's crazy how someone can convince themselves that their own bad decisions are someone else's fault but I guess that's what Adriana needs to believe to live with herself. I'm doing fine now, work is good, I got a little bump in my salary last month and I'm making even more money now which is ironic because Adriana could have had half of everything if she just asked for a divorce instead of trying to destroy my life first. My brother and my parents never believed for one second that I was abusive and my coworkers all thought the charges were ridiculous and my foreman even wrote a character reference letter for my lawyer saying I was one of the most level-headed guys he'd ever worked with.

I still get angry sometimes when I think about how close I came to losing everything and maybe even going to prison for something I didn't do, but mostly I just feel relieved that it's over and that I found out who Adriana really was before we had kids or anything. I never did figure out exactly when Adriana decided she wanted out of our marriage or when she started planning the whole fake abuse thing but it doesn't matter anymore because she's not my problem and never will be sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had just stayed downstairs and hung out with her friends that night instead of going. to my room but then I realized she was probably already planning to leave me anyway and would have found some other excuse. People who are willing to lie to police and fake domestic violence charges aren't good people no matter how you slice it and I'm better off without that kind of person in my life even if it took me four years to figure out who she really was. Anyway, thanks again to everyone who helped me through this mess and told me I wasn't crazy and that what was happening to me wasn't normal because without this community I probably would have just accepted that I was the problem. and let Adriana destroy my life. You guys literally saved me from prison and poverty and I can't. Thank you enough for that.

Edith stop asking me for Adriana's social media or trying to find her online. I'm not giving out personal information and I don't want anyone harassing her even though she deserves it. Just let her live her shitty life with her mom and leave it at that. I hope you enjoy this story. assisted my folks monetarily and signed on their home loan, then they overlooked my special day and requested $2,000 for father's celebration. Consequently, I ceased all support and compelled the liquidation of their assets. Their house. Ever since I started working my first full-time job after college, I became an unofficial financial support system for my parents. It started small,

helping with the utility bill here, a grocery run there. Over time, this escalated. My parents were not, to put it plainly, adept at managing their finances. My father worked, but his income was inconsistent, and my mother did not work outside the home. They lived beyond their means, a fact that became clearer to me as I got older and understood more about money. About 10 years before my 35th birthday, so when I was around 25, they were on the verge of losing their house. They had a mortgage they were struggling with, and they needed to refinance or find some way to secure it. I had a good job by then, a solid credit score. They asked me to co-sign on a new mortgage agreement for their existing home. I was hesitant.

I understood the risks involved in co-signing. They presented it as a temporary measure, something to help them get back on their feet, and assured me that they would manage the payments. They emphasized that it was just my name on the paper to secure the loan due to their poor credit, and that it wouldn't cost me anything. I agreed, under the condition that they were solely responsible for all payments and that they would work towards getting my name off the mortgage as soon as possible, perhaps through another refinance when their financial situation improved. This agreement was verbal, a common theme in my dealings with them.

The house itself was a standard suburban three-bedroom, two-bath place, but it was their home. I never lived there after co-signing. I had my own place. Over the decade between co-signing and my 35th birthday, I continued to provide financial assistance. This wasn't just pocket money. It was substantial. There were car repairs for their two vehicles, insurance payments I covered, property taxes on the house I co-owned that they couldn't make on several occasions. There were direct cash transfers when they claimed they couldn't afford groceries or essential medication.

I helped pay for a new roof one year, a new water heater another. I also contributed significantly to what they termed family emergencies, which often seemed to coincide with a desire for a vacation or a new large purchase they couldn't strictly afford. I kept records of these larger contributions, not out of any initial mistrust, but because they were significant sums and I needed to track my own finances. Looking back, these amounted to a considerable figure, well into six figures. The requests for money became more frequent as the years passed. My own financial stability seemed to be a cue for them to ask for more.

If I got a promotion or a bonus, word would somehow get to them, and soon after a new request would appear. I tried setting boundaries. I would explain that I had my own financial goals, my own future to plan for. These attempts were usually met with guilt-inducing statements from my mother, remarking on all they had done for me as a child, or how family should support each other unconditionally. My father would usually remain silent, letting my mother do the talking in these situations. The pattern was that I was expected to give, but there was little reciprocity in terms of respect for my time, my efforts, or my own life events. My birthdays, for instance, were often forgotten or acknowledged with a last minute, cursory phone call.

If I mentioned any personal achievements, they would be met with a brief acknowledgement shifted back to their needs or problems. It was a one-way street. I was the financial provider, the problem-solver, but not much else in their eyes, or so it felt. I paid for my younger sister's college tuition for two years when they couldn't. A sum of around $30,000. They promised to pay me back. They never did. I covered emergency medical bills for my father, totaling around $15,000 after his insurance

fell short. Again, a promise. of repayment that never materialized. I even funded a significant portion of their 30th wedding anniversary celebration, a party they insisted on having despite their financial state, because my mother said it was important for their social standing. That was another $10,000. I kept receipts, bank transfer records, emails where these sums were discussed. Not because I planned any of this, but because these were not trivial amounts. They were significant financial transactions. The house I co-signed on was a constant source of low-level anxiety for me.

I would check periodically to ensure the mortgage payments were being made, as any default would affect my credit. There were a few close calls, instances where I had to step in and make a payment myself to avoid a late fee or a negative mark on my credit report. Each time, I was assured it wouldn't happen again. Each time, I was skeptical. My name was on that title, as a joint tenant with rights of survivorship, as per the bank's requirement for me co-signing the loan. This meant I legally owned a share of the house. At the time, it seemed like a formality to secure the loan. The week of my 35th birthday arrived. I wasn't expecting a large celebration. I never had one for my family. But I thought, perhaps, this year might be

different. A milestone birthday. I had mentioned it a few weeks prior, not making a big deal of it, but just a casual comment. I decided to arrange a small dinner at a local restaurant. I invited my parents, my sister, her husband, and a couple of close friends. I made the reservation, confirmed it. I sent out texts a few days before as a reminder. On the day of my birthday, I received a brief text from my sister in the morning. Happy B day. Nothing from my parents. As the time for the dinner approached,

I got a text from my sister saying she and her husband couldn't make it. Something about a last-minute work issue for him. My friends did show up, for which I was grateful. We waited for my parents. They never arrived. They didn't call. They didn't text. Nothing.

The empty chairs at the table were quite noticeable. My friends tried to keep the mood light, but it was difficult. I paid for the meal and tried to put on a brave face. Later that night, I called my parents. The call went to voicemail. I left a message, just asking if everything was okay. The next day, I received a text from my mother, Sorry we missed your dinner.

Your father wasn't feeling well. No further explanation. No apology. Just that. This was not unusual. His health was often used as a reason for their absence or for needing something. About a week later, my mother called me. Her tone was cheerful, as if nothing had happened. She started with some small talk, then got to the point. My father's 60th birthday was in a couple of months, and she was planning a big party for him. She described the venue she wanted to book, the caterer. the guest list. Then she said, we're a bit short for the deposit and initial payments. We were hoping you could help out. We need about $2,000. I sat there, phone to my ear, listening to her detail the plans for his extensive celebration, a week after they failed to even acknowledge mine beyond a forgotten dinner reservation. The contrast, the sheer audacity of it, was stark. The years of financial contributions, the forgotten birthdays, the co-sum,

mortgage, the constant expectation that I would provide, all of it coalesced in that moment. I didn't say much on the phone. I think I just said, I'll see what I can do, and ended the call. For years, I had complied, I had given, I had overlooked. This time, something was different. The casual disregard for my birthday followed by a demand for a significant sum for my father's party was a line too far. A couple of days later, my mother texted again, asking if I had sent the $2,000. I went to my banking app. I typed in my mother's account details, the ones I had used countless times before. In the transfer amount, I entered $1. In the reference field, I typed, for Dad's Party. Then I sent it. Immediately after sending

the $1, I went into my phone contacts. I found my mother's number and blocked it. I did the same for my father's number. Then my sisters. I blocked any family members who were primarily conduits for my parents. I went on to social media platforms where I was connected with them and removed and blocked them there too. It was a systematic process. I didn't send any explanation. I didn't engage in any arguments. I simply cut off communication. The next step was the mortgage. I was a co-owner of their house. My name was on the deed and the mortgage. I contacted the bank that held the mortgage. I explained that I was a co-signer and co-owner and wished to protect my interests. I inquired about the process for freezing any remorging or changes to the loan without my explicit,

written consent. The bank informed me of the steps, which involves submitting a formal letter and documentation proving my stake. I spent the next few days preparing this. I send it via registered mail, with return receipt requested. The effect of this action would be to prevent them from borrowing more against the house or selling it without my signature. Given their history, I suspected they might try to leverage the property further if they were in financial difficulty, and I was no longer willing to be silently complicit or liable. The weeks immediately following these actions were quiet for my end. I expected an explosion, calls from unknown numbers, emails, messages through third parties.

Some of that happened. My aunt, my mother's sister, called me a few times. I didn't answer. She left voicemails, which I listened to. They were a mix of confusion, then anger, then attempts at guilting me, saying my mother was distraught. I didn't respond. The $1 transfer obviously caused a reaction. My mother apparently called my sister in hysterics.

My sister then tried to contact me, but her number was all. already blocked. The primary effect of freezing the mortgage at this initial stage was internal. I knew I had taken a step to protect my financial interests, but it didn't trigger an immediate external event with my parents, as they weren't actively trying to refinance at that exact moment, as far as I knew. It was a preventative measure. Life continued. I focused on my work, my friends, my own life. The absence of their calls, their requests, their manufacturing, drama's, was noticeable. It was a significant reduction in stress that I hadn't fully appreciated until it was gone. About three months after I blocked everyone and froze the mortgage, I received a

certified letter. It was not from my parents, but from a mortgage broker. It was a standard notification letter addressed to all parties on the current mortgage, including me. The letter stated that an application had been made to refinance the existing mortgage on my parents' house. It also sought to add a home equity line of credit. My parents were attempting to remortgage and extract equity from the property. Crucially, the documents indicated that my signature was apparently not on their initial application to this broker, or they were attempting to proceed without my direct involvement. Perhaps hoping the broker wouldn't rigorously check all ownership details or that my freeze notification hadn't fully propagated through all systems. My earlier action

of formally notifying the current lender and placing a cautionary hold had likely flagged this new attempt, or the broker was doing due diligence that uncovered my stake in my prior communication with the original bank. The letter was likely a legal requirement, ensuring all registered owners were informed of such an application. This was a clear indication they were trying to circumvent my involvement and access the equity in a property I co-owned, without my consent. The equity existed in part because the property had appreciated over the years, but also because I had prevented defaults and contributed to its upkeep. If they succeeded, they could burden the property with more debt, debt that I would be partially responsible for if they defaulted again,

and it would diminish any actual equity I held. So here is where I am. They have tried to go behind my back to refinance a property I co-own. This is after years of financial exploitation, culminating in the birthday incident and their demand for more money. My initial actions were to cut contact and secure the mortgage from unilateral changes. Now they've forced my hand further. I have a legal share in that house. I also have records of substantial sums of money they owe me, which I previously just wrote off as lost causes.

Given their latest action, I am considering my options. What should I do? Am I justified in taking more aggressive steps to reclaim what is mine and remove myself from this situation entirely, even if it means significant consequences for them? I'm not looking for reconciliation. I'm looking for a way to finalize this separation of my life from theirs, especially financially, update one. It has been approximately four weeks since my original post.

I want to start by acknowledging the input I received. Many comments and private messages echoed similar sentiments regarding the situation. The general consensus was that my parents' actions were indeed over the line, and that I was justified in taking steps to protect my financial interests. Several questions arose regarding the specifics of the situation, which I will clarify now as they were pertinent to my decision-making process. When I co-signed the mortgage 10 years prior to my 35th birthday, I was added to the title of the house as a joint tenant with rights of survivorship. This was a requirement from the lender because I was taking on the mortgage obligation. It meant I was not just a guarantor, I was a legal co-owner of the property.

At the time, I was 25, and while I understood it, it gave me a stake, the primary focus then was simply to help them avoid losing their home. My parents had emphasized that it was just a signature to help them, and we never discussed the implications of co-ownership in depth, such as how a future sale or buyout would work. This was a significant oversight on my part, driven by youth and a desire to assist. Many asked for a breakdown of $200,000. I have been going through my financial records meticulously. The $200,000 is a number of $200,000.

approximate but conservative estimate. Major items include around $45,000 in direct cash transfers to their bank account over approximately 10 to 12 years, typically for bill shortfalls or unexpected expenses. These were usually in sums of $300 to $1,000 at a time. $30,000 for my sister's college tuition, which they had agreed to repay. $15,000 for my father's out-of-pocket medical bills following a surgery. $10,000. for their 30th anniversary party. Approximately $25,000 in property taxes and homeowners insurance payments I made for their house over the years when they claimed they couldn't afford them. This was to protect the asset and my credit rating tied to the mortgage.

Around $20,000 for major home repairs. $12,000 for the roof replacement and $8,000 for a new HVAC system and water heater. Car-related expenses, I estimate around $18,000. This includes paying off a loan on my mother's car, $7,000, plus numerous instances of covering expensive repair bills and insurance for both their vehicles. Miscellaneous loans and support. The remainder comprises smaller loans for things like appliance replacement, debt consolidation assistance they requested, and other ad hoc financial crises, all of which were never

repaid. I have bank statements, scanned receipts for major repairs, and e-mailed chains where many of these amounts and the promises of repayment were discussed. As stated before, I received a certified letter from a mortgage broker. My prior notification to the original lender, the one holding the current mortgage, had indeed been logged. When my parents approached a new broker for refinancing and a heelic, the title search conducted by this new broker would have revealed my name as a co-owner. Standard procedure then requires all legal owners to be notified and to consent to new liens or changes in mortgage. The letter I received was likely a result of either the new broker's due

diligence or a notification triggered from the original lender system due to my earlier protected measures. It was clear they had initiated this process without speaking to me first. Reading through the comments confirmed my own assessment. My parents attempt to refinance without my consent was a serious breach of trust and a direct threat to my financial interest in the property. It was not just about the money, it was about the continued pattern of entitlement and disregard for me as an individual with my own rights and financial well-being. The advice I received, coupled with my own resolve, led me to the conclusion that passive measures were no longer sufficient. They had escalated the situation by attempting this remortgage.

I decided that I needed to extricate myself from this financial entanglement completely and recover what I was owed, to the extent legally possible. One. The first step I took was to consult with a real estate attorney. I found one specializing in property disputes and partition actions. I laid out the entire history, presented my documentation regarding the co-ownership of the house, the mortgage I was on, and the records of the substantial financial contributions I had made over the years. My lawyer reviewed the documents related to the house title and the mortgage. He confirmed my rights as a co-owner.

Two, my attorney immediately drafted and sent a cease and desist letter to the mortgage broker that had notified me of the refinance application. This letter formally stated my co-ownership, that I did not consent to any refinancing or additional liens on the property, and that any attempt to proceed without my explicit written consent would be met with legal action. This effectively halted their remortgage application with that specific broker. Three. Simultaneously, my lawyer prepared a formal letter to my parents. This letter was sent via a certified mail with return receipt. It outlined my position. It referenced their recent attempt to refinance without my consent. It formally stated my desire to terminate the co-ownership arrangement.

It offered them two options, Option A, buyout my legal share of the property. My share would be calculated based on current market value, minus the remaining mortgage principle. The letter specified that a professional appraisal would be required to determine fair market value. option b if they were unable or unwilling to buy out my share within a specified time frame we proposed sixty days i would petition the court for a partition sale a partition sale is a court-ordered sale of a jointly owned property with the proceeds being divided among the owners according to their respective interests The letter made it clear that I was serious about pursuing this. 4. Included with the letter regarding the property was a separate, detailed accounting of the approximately $200,000 in past expenses I had covered or loaned them, for which I had records. The letter stated that while some of these were gifts at the time, many, like the tuition and

medical bills, came with explicit, albeit verbal, promises of repayment. Other items, like covering their property taxes on a house I co-owned, were expenses I incurred to protect my interest in their asset, which I now sought to recover as part of the overall financial disentanglement. It stated my intention to pursue these debts through legal channels if a reasonable settlement could not be reached in conjunction with the property resolution. We understood that recovering the full $200,000 might be difficult, especially the portions that could be argued as gifts, but including it all was a negotiating stance and a reflection of the total financial imbalance. The items with clear repayment promises, Sisters' tuition,

dad's medical bills, were stronger claims. The cease and desist letter to the mortgage broker stopped that particular refinance attempt in its tracks. The broker confirmed receipt and stated they would not proceed without consent from all legal owners. The delivery of the certified letter to my parents caused the predictable uproar, though I heard about it secondhand. My sister, despite being blocked, managed to get a message to me through a mutual acquaintance. The message conveyed that my parents were deviant. couldn't believe I would do this to them, and that my mother was making herself sick with worry. There was no acknowledgement of their actions, no apology, only indignation and attempts to make me feel

guilty. I did not respond to this indirect communication. My parents did not respond directly to my lawyer's letter within the first couple of weeks. My lawyer advised this was not uncommon and that the next step, if they continued to ignore the demand, would be to file the petition action in court, update 2. It has been approximately nine months since my first update, and nearly a year since my original post outlining the birthday incident and my initial actions. The process that followed the dispatch of my lawyer's letters has been protracted and, as expected, not amicable. Following the initial 60-day period given in my lawyer's letter for my parents to respond to the buyout or sale demand, they did eventually respond, not directly,

but through a lawyer they retained. Their lawyer, lawyer's initial response was an attempt to downplay my claims. They argued that many of my financial contributions were gifts, that my name was on the mortgage purely as a facilitator, and that forcing a sale of their home was an aggressive and unnecessary action. They made a lowball offer to buy out my share, a figure that was significantly below even a conservative estimate of its value based on local property assessments, and it did not address the separate $200,000 debt claim at all. My lawyer and I rejected their offer. We had already commissioned an independent appraisal of the property, which valued it at $450,000. The remaining mortgage principle was approximately $150,000.

My legal half-share of the equity, therefore, was roughly $450,000. $150,000. $2 equals $150,000. Their offer was for $50,000. Negotiations. through our respective attorneys, went back and forth for several weeks. They were unproductive. My parents' sides seemed unwilling to accept the reality of my legal co-ownership and the actual market value of the property. They also flatly refused to discuss the $200,000 in past debts, their lawyer stating those were unenforceable claims based on familial goodwill. While some of it undoubtedly was, parts of it, like the funds for my sister's education and specific large sums framed as loans, were more robustly documented.

Given the impasse, my lawyer proceeded as planned and filed a petition for a petition sale with the court. This legal action formally requests a judge to order the sale of the property and the equitable distribution of proceeds among co-owners. The filing of this petition seemed to escalate matters from their perspective. The court process for a petition sale is not swift. There were filings, responses, and eventually a court date was scheduled. My parents' lawyer attempted to delay proceedings, arguing hardship and claiming they were trying to secure funds to buy me out, but they never presented a credible offer. Regarding the $200,000 debt, my lawyer advised that pursuing the full amount through a separate lawsuit would be costly and the outcome uncertain for parts of it.

However, he suggested we could use the more documented portions of this debt, around $60,000 relating to direct loans with repayment discussions and specific large bill payments I covered for them with an understanding of reimbursement as leverage in any final settlement regarding the House. The strategy was to focus on the clear win, the House equity, and see if some of the debt could be recovered as part of that wider negotiation. One, after several months and a couple of brief court appearances, which I attended but my parents did not, only their lawyer was present. The judge reviewed the evidence of co-ownership, the failed needs. negotiations for a buyout and the appraisal. The judge ruled in my favor and ordered the

petition's sale of the property. The court appointed a neutral third party, a licensed real estate agent slash broker, often called a referee or commissioner in these sales, to manage the sale of the house on the open market. This meant my parents could no longer control the sale process or the price. Two, the court appointed agent listed the house. It took about two months to get a solid offer. The house sold for $435,000. This was slightly below the initial appraisal but a fair market price given the need to sell. From this amount, the remaining mortgage of approximately $148,000, it had reduced slightly over the months, was paid off first. Then, legal fees for both sides associated directly with the sale and the partition action itself were deducted.

3. After the mortgage and essential sale-related fees, approximately $270,000 remained. My legal share as a 50% co-owner was $135,000. Before the final distribution, my lawyer engaged in a final round of negotiation with my parents' lawyer regarding the outstanding debts, specifically the more documented $60,000 portion. Faced with the reality of the house being sold and funds being available, and perhaps to avoid further legal costs of me pursuing the debt separately, my parents' lawyer agreed to settle a portion of that claim from their share of the proceeds. They agreed to me receiving an additional $40,000 from their share as settlement for past debts. So, from the house sale proceeds, I received my $135,000 share plus $40,000, totaling $175,000. My parents received the

remaining $95,000. This was a significant reduction from what they would have had if they had managed their finances or bought me out fairly earlier. Four. With only $95,000 from the sale, and having to pay their own legal fees from that amount, which were not insignificant due to their attempts to fight the petition, my parents did not have enough to purchase another home in the same area, nor did they have a good credit history. They had to move into a small rental apartment. The loss of the house they had lived in for decades was a direct consequence of the chain of events starting from my decision to no longer fund their lifestyle and their subsequent attempt to remortgage without my consent. The financial strain also led to other consequences for them. The $95,000, after legal fees and moving costs, likely dwindled quickly.

I heard indirectly, through the same acquaintance my sister had used before, though I did not solicit this information, that they had to sell one of their two costs. an older SUV, because they couldn't afford the insurance and potential repairs. My father's sporadic work apparently became even more so, and they were struggling significantly. Any savings they might have had were likely depleted during the legal fight or consumed by the debts they had accumulated elsewhere. Essentially, their financial foundation, which had long been propped up by my contributions and then by the equity in the house, crumbled once those supports were removed. 5. Once the funds were transferred to my account, my involvement in their lives was completely severed.

There were no further communications. I had my money, my name was off the mortgage and the deed, and I was free of the financial obligations and emotional drain they represented. I have not looked back. My life has been considerably calmer and more focused on my own goals. I have used the recovered funds to bolster my own investments and am considering buying a property for myself. One that will be solely in my name. The entire process, from the birthday incident to the final financial settlement, took a little over a year. They lost their house, a car, and their financial stability as they knew it. I walked away with a portion of what I was owed and, more importantly, my financial independence from them fully secured. I hope you enjoy this story.

Assumed responsibility for my incapacitated sibling following the demise of our parents, sought assistance from his sponsors as I held down two occupations, only for them to contact welfare authorities and attempt to intervene. Take him away. Hi Reddit. I am not sure if I am the a-hole here. My friends are split. Some say I did what I had to do. Others say I should have been nicer. My parents died two years ago. It was a car accident. It was very sudden. I was 23 then. My brother, Alex, was 18. Alex is disabled. He has a condition that means he needs a lot of care.

He cannot live on his own. He uses a wheelchair most of the time. He can walk a little bit with help, but it is hard for him. He also has trouble speaking clearly, especially when he is tired or upset. He needs help with getting dressed, making food, and personal care. He can feed himself if the food is cut out. but it takes him a long time. He also needs someone to be there for his medical appointments and to manage his medications. He will never be able to work a job that pays enough to live on.

When our parents died, I became Alex's legal guardian. There was no one else. Our other family lives far away or they are too old. I was still in school at the time, trying to finish my degree. I had to drop out. There was no money left after the funeral. costs and paying off some of their debts. My parents did not have life insurance. Their house was a rental. So, we had to move. I found a small apartment. It is not great. It is on the ground floor, so Alex can get in and out with his chair. That is the main good thing about it. I work two jobs to pay for our rent, food, Alex's medical supplies, and everything else. My first job is at a great job. grocery store during the day. I stock shelves and work the cash register. It pays minimum wage.

My second job is cleaning offices at night. I usually work from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m., sometimes later if it is a big office. I get home very late. I am tired all the time. Alex gets lonely. During the day, when I am at my first job, he is mostly alone. We have a support worker who comes for two hours, three days a week. That is all we can afford from the government disability money he gets. It is not much. The worker helps him with his lunch and some basic exercises. The rest of the time, he watches TV or plays games on his tablet. Before my parents died, they were very close to their friends, Carol and Rob. Carol and Rob are Alex's godparents. They were always around when we were kids. promised my parents they would always look out for Alex. They said it many times. Don't worry,

they would tell my mom, if anything ever happens to you, we'll make sure Alex is taken care of. My mom and dad believed them. I believed them too. After the funeral, Carol and Rob were sad. They helped a little bit with sorting some of my parents' things. They brought over food a few times. Then, they started to visit less. They said they were busy with work. They have their own kids, who are grown up and have left home. They live in a big house about 30 minutes away from us. They are comfortable. Rob has a good job as a manager at a company. Carol does volunteer work. Last month, things got really hard. The rent went up. Alex needed a new part for his wheelchair, I was looking at our money, and I just did not know how I was going to make it work.

I was so stressed. I had not slept properly in days. I thought about what my parents said about Carol and Rob. I thought about their promises. So, I called Carol. I asked if I could come over to talk to her and Rob. She sounded a bit surprised but said okay. I arranged for a friend to stay with Alex for a few hours. When I got to their house, they offered me tea. We sat in their nice living room. It was quiet. I told them about how hard things were. I explained about the rent, the wheelchair part, and how I was working two jobs but still struggling. I tried to be calm. I laid out the facts. I said, I am finding it very difficult to manage everything on my own. Alex needs more support than I can give him right now, especially with my work schedule.

Then I asked them for help. I was specific. I asked if they could help contribute a small amount each month towards Alex's care costs. I suggested maybe $200 a month. Or, if not money, if one of them could maybe spend one afternoon a week with Alex. It would give him some company, and it would give me a break, or a chance to pick up an extra shift at the grocery store for a few hours if they had a sale on, or something. I told them, my parents trusted you. You told them you would always be there for Alex.

Carol looked at Rob. Rob looked at his hands. Then Carol said, well, this is a lot to spring on us, I said, I know, and I am sorry. But I don't know who else to turn to. Carol then got a strange look on her face. She said, you know, your parents would want you to stand on your own two feet. You You are an adult now, you know. It sounds like you are trying to use guilt to get us to pay for your responsibilities. I was shocked. I did not expect that at all. I said, that is not true.

I am not trying to use guilt. I am just stating a fact. You made promises. And I am doing everything I can. Being an adult doesn't magically create more money or more hours in the day." Rob then spoke up. He said, we have our own lives to think about, our own retirement. We helped you when your parents died.

We did our part, he said it very flatly. I felt my face get hot. I said, your part? What about Alex's part in your life? He is your godson. He misses you. He asks about you. Carol then said, louder this time, don't you try to manipulate us with Alex?

It is your job to look after him. We have sympathy, of course we do, but you are a young woman. You should be able to manage. Maybe you need to budget better, or find a better paying job. I stood up then. I said, budget better? A better job? Do you have any idea how hard it is out there? I am doing everything I can. I came here asking for a little help, not for you to criticize me. My voice was shaking a little, but I did not yell. Carol stood up too. She said, I think you should leave. You are being very disrespectful. We were good friends to your parents. We don't deserve to be spoken to like this in our own home just because you can't handle your life. I picked up my bag.

I said, fine. I understand. You have made your position very clear. I walked to the door. Before I left, I turned back and said, I hope you remember what you told my parents. And I hope you think about Alex. Then I left. I cried in my car.

I felt so stupid and so angry. When I got home, Alex was happy to see me. I did not tell him what happened. Since then, it has been about two weeks. I have not heard from Carol or Rob. I managed to borrow some money from a friend to cover the wheelchair part. I am working even more hours at the grocery store when they can give them to me, meaning I sleep even less. My friend who I borrowed money from says I was right to ask them and

that they are terrible people. Another friend said I should have been more grateful for their past help and not brought up the promises because it made them defensive. She said I might have gotten some help if I had been more humble. So, Reddit, Ida for asking them for help and for how I reacted when they said no and accused me of using guilt. Was I disrespectful? Update 1, Hi everyone. Thank you for all the comments on my original post. Most people said NTA, and that Carol and Rob were the assholes.

Some people gave advice on looking for other resources for Alex, and I'm looking into those. It takes time. A lot of people were angry on my behalf, and that felt not good, but like I was not crazy for feeling upset. So, a few things happened after I made that post. About a week ago, I was at the grocery store, at my checkout. It was a busy Saturday morning. I looked up, and Carol was standing in my line. She had a full card of groceries.

I had not seen her since I went to her house. My heart started beating fast. I just focused on the customer I was serving. When it was Carol's turn, she came forward. She did not say hello. She just started putting her things on the, the belt. I said, hello, Carol, in a normal voice, like I would do any customer. She looked at me, and her face was hard. She said, very loudly, so other people in line could hear.

Oh, so now you are speaking to me? After you stormed out of my house and insulted us? I was mortified. My cheeks went red. I kept scanning her items. I said, quietly, Carol, I am at work. This is not the place, she said, even louder, it is never the place for you to be respectful, is it? You just want to use people. Your parents would be so ashamed of how you are behaving, trying to make us feel bad for your problems. My supervisor, supervisor, who was working on the next register, looked over. Some other customers were staring. I just wanted to sink into the floor. I kept my voice low. I said, please. Please, Carol, let's not do this here."

She then said, and spreading stories about us. We know you have been talking. People have told us, making us out to be monsters. I had not told anyone their names or specific details that could identify them easily in my original post, but I guess they figured it out or someone they know saw it and told them. Or maybe she was just guessing. I finished scanning her items. I told her the total.

She paid with her card. As she was waiting for the payment to go through, she leaned in and said in a lower voice, but still angry, you are a nasty, ungrateful girl. Rob and I are very disappointed in you. We are done with you. And we are done with Alex too. If this is how you are going to be. I just looked at her.

I did not say anything. I was shaking. My hands felt cold. cold. She took her bags and her receipt and walked away without another word. Supervisor came over after Carol left and the line had gone down a bit. She asked if I was okay. I said I was fine, just a bit flustered. She said that woman seemed very aggressive. Do you know her? I just said she is an old family friend. We had a disagreement. Supervisor nodded and said, well, if she causes trouble again, me know.

I thanked her. I was upset for the rest of my shift. When I got home, I just sat on the couch for a long time. I did not tell Alex. He could tell I was sad, though. He kept patting my arm. The next day, Rob called me. I was surprised he called.

His voice was calm, but not friendly. He said, Carol told me she saw you at the store. I said, yes, she was there, he said. She was very upset by your attitude. And we are very upset that you seem to be telling tales about us, I said. I told her that was not the place for that discussion. And I am not spreading tales. I described a situation, Rob said, well, Carol gets emotional.

But the point is, we feel you are burning bridges. We were always fond of Alex. but your behavior is making it very difficult for us to have any kind of relationship with either of you. I asked him, what behavior, Rob? Asking for help when I am drowning? Reacting when I'm accused of things that are not true. He sighed, like I was being difficult. You were very accusatory when you came to our house.

You brought up old promises in a way that was designed to make us feel guilty. That is not how you ask for help, I said. So how should I have asked? Should I have begged? He did not answer he just said, Carol is very hurt. And frankly, so am I. We thought better of you. We have decided that it is best if we all have some space. We will not be contacting you again. And we would appreciate it if you did not contact us, I said. So that's it? After everything? After all the years with my parents? Alex is your godson. That means nothing?

Rob said, it means we wish him well. From a distance. You have made it clear you do not respect us or value our past kindness. Then he said, goodbye, and hung up before I could say anything else. So that is where things are. They have cut contact. Carol made a scene at my job. Rob called to tell me it was my fault.

I feel like I am. in some kind of bad dream. I did not want this to happen. I just wanted some help. I am still working my jobs. Still tired. Now I also have this extra layer of anger and sadness. My friend who said I should have been more humble still thinks if I had just apologized for my tone when I went to their house, maybe they would have helped. I do not know anymore. I really do not. Update 2. Hello again. It has been about two weeks since my last update. Things have not gotten better. They have gotten worse.

After Rob called and said they wanted no contact, I tried to just focus on work and Alex. I was upset about what happened, but I thought, okay, at least now I know where I stand with them. No more false hope. Then, last week, I got a call from Alex's Disability Support Coordinator. Her name is Social Worker. Social Worker helps us manage the few government services Alex gets. She sounded serious on the phone. She said she needed to schedule a home visit because they had received an anonymous report expressing concerns about Alex's well-being and care. My stomach

dropped. I asked her what kind of concerns. Social Worker said the report mentioned that Alex was often left alone for long periods, that he was not getting proper nutrition, and that his living environment was neglectful. I was horrified. I asked social worker if she believed this. She said it was their policy to follow up on all reports, but she also said that in her interactions with me and Alex, she had not had those concerns. Still, she had to come and do an official assessment. The visit was scheduled for two days later. I was a wreck. I cleaned the apartment even though it was already clean. I made sure we had good food in the fridge. I was so scared they would find some reason to say I was not a good caregiver. Alex could tell I was stressed. He kept asking if I was

okay, in his way. I told him everything was fine, but he knew. When social worker came, she was professional. She looked around the apartment. She talked to Alex alone for a bit, with me just out of earshot, but in the same room. She looked at his medication, his food supplies, his wheelchair. She asked me about my work schedule and how Alex manages when I am not there. I explained about the support worker who comes, and how my friend sometimes checks in on him. I showed her my work schedule. I told her I was doing my best. I was honest that it was hard, but that Alex was my priority. After about two hours, social worker said that she did not see any signs of neglect. She said the apartment was suitable for

Alex's needs, that he seemed well cared for, and that she understood I was in a difficult situation doing it all alone. She said the report seemed to be unfounded. She did say that ideally, Alex would have more social interaction and support hours, but she knew that was a funding issue. She promised to see if there were any other small services we might qualify for. She told me she would file her report stating there were no immediate concerns. I was so relieved I almost cried. After social worker left, I sat down and thought about who would make such a report. There is only one answer, Carol and Robb. Who else would know enough details to make claims like that, even if they twisted them? Who else would be so cruel? They know I leave him when I work,

because I have to. They know I struggle with money, so the nutrition claim is a low blow. I did not have proof, but I was sure it was them. It felt like such a betrayal. To try and take Alex away, or to get me in trouble with social services, just because they were angry with me? It is one thing to refuse to help. It is another thing to actively try and harm us. A few days after social workers visit, I was talking to an old neighbor of my parents. Neighbor.

She still lives on their old street. She is elderly, but very sharp. She sometimes calls to check in. I told her vaguely that I was having some issues with some people. She then said, is it Carol and Rob, dear? I saw Carol at the shops the other day. She did not look happy to see me. And she said some rather unpleasant things about you.

I asked what Carol had said. Neighbor said, oh, just that you were being very demanding, and that you were not coping well since your parents passed. She said you were blaming everyone else for your problems and that you were making Alex's situation sound worse than it was to get sympathy and money. She even said she was worried about Alex being with you. It was quite nasty. I told her I did not believe a word of it, that you were a good girl doing her best.

So now they are not just reporting me to officials. They are spreading rumors and bad-mouthing me to people who knew my parents. People I have known my whole life. I was so angry. I wanted to call them and scream. But I thought about what Rob said on the phone, about me burning bridges and making it difficult. If I called them angry, they would just use it as more proof that I am unstable or aggressive. So, I did not call them.

Instead, I wrote everything down. What happened at their house? The scene Carol made at my work. The phone call from Rob. The report to Alex's support coordinator. What neighbor told me? I put dates in times as best as I could remember. My friend said it is good to have a record if they keep escalating.

I also called social worker, Alex's support coordinator, back. I thanked her for her professionalism. I then told her that I suspected Alex's godparents, Carol and Robb, I gave her their names, were behind the anonymous report due to a recent falling out where I had asked. asked them for help and they had refused and become hostile. I told her about Carol at my workplace and the rumors. Social worker listened patiently. She said she could not confirm who made the report due to confidentiality, but she noted my concerns. She said if any more reports came in, this context would be useful. I feel like I am constantly looking over my shoulder now.

What will they do next? It is a terrible way to live. I am trying to find a new job. I am trying to find a a better one, but it is hard with my schedule and needing to be there for Alex. The stress is making me tired all the time. Alex notices. He tries to cheer me up, but it is hard to pretend everything is okay. This is not the life I wanted for him, or for me. Update 3. It has been three weeks since my last update. The situation with Carol and Rob has gotten even worse.

I did not think it could, but it has. After I found out they were spreading rumors and likely made the false report to Alex's disability services, I decided to try and create some distance. I focused on my work in Alex. I started to document everything, like I said. About two weeks ago, I was at home with Alex on a Sunday afternoon. It was my day off from the grocery store, and I did not have any office cleaning scheduled. We were watching a movie. Someone started banging on our apartment door.

Not knocking, but banging, hard. Alex got scared. He does not like loud noises. I went to the door and looked through the peephole. It was Carol. And Rob was standing behind her, a bit back. My heart sank. I did not want to open the door.

The banging continued. Carol started shouting, I know you were in there. Open this door. We need to talk about Alex. Other people in our apartment building started opening their doors to see what the noise was. I was embarrassed. I felt I had no choice but to open it, otherwise she might because even more of a scene or someone would call the police thinking something bad was happening. I opened the door a little bit, keeping the chain on.

I said, Carol, what do you want? You cannot come here shouting like this. She looked furious. Her face was red. She tried to push the door open more, but the chain held. She said, let us in. We need to see Alex. We are his godparents. We have a right to see him. Rob stepped forward then. He said, Carol, calm down. But he did not look calm either. He looked angry too. He said to me, we just want to make sure he is okay. After that report, we were worried. I could not believe he said that. After what report, Rob? I asked him, the one you made.

Carol yelled, we did not make any report. How dare you accuse us? We are good people. We care about Alex, unlike you, who is clearly struggling to cope. Some of my neighbors were watching. I felt so exposed. I said, you need to leave. You are upsetting Alex.

He can hear you shouting. Alex had wheeled himself closer to the door behind me. He looked very frightened. He was trying to say something, but his words were jumbled because he was so upset. Carol saw Alex. Her voice changed slightly. It became a bit fake sweet. Oh, Alex, sweetie, are you okay?

Your sister is being very difficult. We just want to see you. Alex shook his head. He was scared of her. I said, Carol, stop it. You are scaring him. You both need to go now, or I will call the police. That made Carol even angrier. She started screaming, you ungrateful brat. We try to be concerned, and this is what we get. Your parents would be disgusted with you. They would want us to be involved with Alex. She then lunged at the door and tried to force it. The chain strained. I pushed back hard. Rob pulled her back a bit. He said, Carol, that's enough. We're making things worse. But Carol was out of control. She was

crying and shouting now. She's keeping him from us. She's poisoning him against us. He needs us. It was a full-blown. She was sobbing and yelling at the same time. I managed to slam the door shut and lock it. Alex was crying. I went to him and tried to comfort him, but I was shaking too. Carol kept banging on the door for a few more minutes, shouting things. Then Rob must have pulled her away, because the noise moved down the hallway and then stopped. One of my neighbors, a kind older man named neighbor, knocked gently a few minutes later. I opened the door, still shaking. He asked if we were all right and if I wanted him to call the police. I thanked him and said I thought they had gone, but if they came back,

I would. He said he and his wife would keep an eye out. Alex was very distressed for the rest of the day. He had a hard time sleeping that night. I was furious and scared. This was not just rumors anymore. This was harassment at my home. The next morning, I went to the police station. I told them what happened. I told them about the history, the false report, which I suspect they made, the scene at my work, the rumors, and now this. I showed them the notes I had been keeping. The officer was sympathetic. He said they could issue a formal warning to Carol and Rob for harassment if I wanted. He also suggested I could apply for a restraining order if their behavior continued or got worse. He said because Carol had tried to force the door, that was serious.

I asked him to issue the warning. I gave him their address. I do not know if the police have contacted them yet. I hope it makes them stop. But part of me feels like it might make them even angrier. A few days after I went to the police, I got a letter. It was from a lawyer. It said that Carol and my wife.

Rob were concerned for the welfare of their godson, Alex, and that they believed I was unfit to be his sole guardian due to emotional instability and financial irresponsibility. It said they were exploring their legal options to ensure Alex's well-being, which might include seeking visitation rights or even a change in guardianship. I felt like I was going to be sick. Guardianship? They want to take Alex away from me? After they refused to give even $200 a month or spend a few hours with him? Now they want to fight me for him, using lawyers? The letter was full of lies and accusations.

It twisted everything. It said my request for financial help was extortion. It said Carol's seen at my work was because she was distraught by my coldness. It said their visit to my apartment was a welfare check because they were so worried. I took the letter to a legal aid clinic. A young lawyer there read it. She said it was mostly threats and accusations, and that it would be very hard for them to get guardianship given Alex as an adult and I am his legal guardian with no actual findings against me. But she said they could make things very difficult and expensive if they pursued it.

She said I needed to respond to the letter through a lawyer. The legal aid clinic can help me with that, but it will take time. So now I have to deal with this legal threat. I am trying to find a lawyer who can properly represent me if it goes first. This is on top of everything else. The stress is incredible. I am not sleeping much. I am worried about Alex.

He is more withdrawn since Carol and Rob came to the apartment. He keeps asking if the angry lady is coming back. My friend who told me to be more humble with Carol and Rob initially has now completely changed her mind. She said they are unhinged and that I need to protect myself and Alex however I can. I feel so alone in this. Every time I think it cannot get worse, it does. Update 4. It has been a few weeks since the lawyer's letter from Carol and Robb.

This will probably be my final update for a while because things are ongoing and very stressful. There has been no improvement. None at all. The legal aid lawyer helped me draft a response to Carol and Rob's lawyer. Our letter stated clearly that their accusations were filed. that I was Alex's legal guardian and that he was well cared for. It said their harassment was causing distress to both me and Alex. It also mentioned the police report I filed after they came to my apartment and Carol's behavior.

We stated that if they continued to harass us or make baseless legal threats, would seek a restraining order. We sent that letter about two weeks ago. We have not had a formal reply from their lawyer yet. But Carol and Rob have not been quiet. Last week, Rob showed up at my evening job. The office building where I clean. He waited for me in the parking lot when I was leaving around 11.30 p.m. It was dark.

I was walking to my car. He stepped out from between two parked cars. I was so scared I almost screamed. He said, we need to talk. Without lawyers. Without yelling, I said, no, Rob, we have nothing to talk about. You need to leave me alone. You are not supposed to be here. I started to walk faster towards my car. He followed me. He said, you are being unreasonable. Carol is a wreck. You have done this to her.

She loves Alex. I got to my car and quickly unlocked it. I said, she has a terrible way of showing it. And you both have a terrible way of respecting my decisions and my boundaries. Stay away from me and my brother. He tried to grab my arm as I was getting into the car. He said, just listen for a minute. I pulled my arm away hard. I yelled, get away from me. I jumped in my car, locked the doors, and started the engine.

He banged on the window once, then stepped back as I drove off. My hands were shaking so much I could barely steer. When I got home, I called the police again. I told them Rob had confronted me at my work, in the dark, and had tried to grab me. They asked if I was hurt. I said no, but I was scared. They said they would log the incident and that it added to my harassment claim. They again suggested a restraining order.

The next day, I spoke to the legal aid lawyer. She was very concerned. She said Rob's actions were a serious escalation. She is helping me apply for a restrain. straining order against both Carol and Rob. We have a court date for a temporary order next week. I will have to go to court and explain what has been happening. I am terrified of this, but I know I have to do it. Alex knows something is very wrong. He sees how stressed I am. He is quiet and sad a lot. He draws pictures of monsters, which he never used to do. I try to reassure him, but I think he

understands more than I realize. His speech therapist said he has been more anxious in his sessions lately. Carol has also been trying to contact me. She has left several voicemails on my phone. I have not listened to all of them. The ones I did listen to were a mix of her crying, then yelling, then begging me to let her see Alex. She said I was cruel and heartless. She said my parents would never forgive me for keeping Alex from his loving godmother. She said Rob was only trying to talk sense into me and that I overreacted by calling the police on him. It's like she has a completely different version of reality in her head. I have blocked their numbers now, but she sometimes calls from no caller ID so I have to pick up

in case it is work or something about Alex. As soon as I hear her voice, I hang up. My supervisor at the grocery store, supervisor, has been very understanding. I told her a bit more about what was happening, that an old family friend was harassing me. She makes sure someone walks me to my car if I finish late. My night job supervisor was less understanding. He said he did not want drama at his workplace. I am worried he might try to find a reason to fire me if Rob shows up again. There is no good way to end this update. My hope of getting any support from them is long gone. Now my only hope is

that a restraining order will make them leave us alone. But I am scared about what they may might do next, even with an order. I am just trying to keep Alex safe and keep us afloat. It is much harder than it was before I asked them for help. That is the saddest part. Asking for help made everything a thousand times worse. Final update, this is the last update I will be posting about this situation. It has been a few months since the original post, and about six weeks since my last update. I went to court for the temporary restraining order. I had to stand up and tell the judge about everything that Carol and Rob had done. The lawyer from legal aid was with me.

Carol and Rob were there with their lawyer. Carol cried a lot during the hearing. Rob just looked angry. Their lawyer tried to say I was exaggerating and that they were just concerned godparents. But I had my notes, the police incident numbers, and the letter their lawyer sent. The judge granted the temporary restraining order for me and for Alex. It means they cannot contact us, come to our home or workplaces, or be within a certain distance of us. There will be another hearing in a few months to see if it will be made permanent.

After the hearing, as we were leaving the courtroom, Carol shouted at me down the hallway. She called me a liar while her lawyer and Rob had to pull her away. It was another scene. Since the restraining order was put in place, they have not directly contacted me or Alex. That is a relief. However, the quiet feels strange, and I am always worried they will try something indirect. My financial situation is still very hard. Working two jobs is exhausting.

Alex is aware of the tension, even though I try to hide it. He is still more anxious than he used to be. He asks about the angry people sometimes. I just tell them they cannot bother us anymore and that he is safe. I hope that is true. Thank you to everyone who offered support and advice in the comments on my previous posts. I appreciate it more than you know. I will not be updating further as I need to focus on moving forward, whatever that looks like now.

I hope you enjoy this story. Blamed my folks for favoring my sibling as their favorite and damaging our bond. Following a tense gathering with the family, I also found out that my partner was exploiting me for my money. My sister is my dad's golden child. and no matter how much I try to get him to see me as her equal, it never works and I believe she takes advantage of it. Usually is not much of an issue, but this week some things happen which were the cherry on top. I'm hopefully getting married next year and she asked if she could invite her in-laws because they will come next time she comes over. I said okay only because my

parents are paying but I know she just wants to do it for the attention. So she will have at least four people from her political family there and for sure parade them around. Also, my parents are about to have a big anniversary in November but they are postponing any celebration because my sister, who lives overseas, doesn't want to travel so long until things are even calmer. But last month she went on a holiday to a country next to hers. I was having lunch with them and my fiancé when they informed me they are moving their big celebration to next year and I couldn't handle it anymore. I said to my dad, of course, you will postpone. We should all stop living until she is here, he said it was uncalled for,

and I was making a big deal about something that had nothing to do with me, and my mom said they will, of course, have something intimate, and I was as important, but I don't believe it. I stood up and said to my dad, I am so sorry the love of your life is not around, but the most important woman in your life should be your wife, not your daughter. After that I left. The next day I felt bad and tried to call my mom who refuses to speak with me and just sent me a text telling me I was bitter and was hurtful and need help.

But they and particularly my dad hurt me with their desire of giving her such a prevalent role in their lives when she has lived abroad for like 10 years. My dad blocked me and my fiancé is worried they won't pay for the wedding anymore. My sister, trying to be the center of the universe as usual, tried calling me but I didn't reply. I gave it a few days but my parents haven't contacted me. My sister stopped trying to get in contact with me, but she contacted my fiancé to check on me. I visited my grands today and she told me I need to apologize because my parents love us both, but we are different and so got different things so I began to wonder if I was the asshole.

I just want some days where I'm the most important person to my parents and still believe that my sister's golden child status should be addressed and corrected, but maybe I was the asshole for the way I expressed it. Edit 1. I am, 26M, my fiancé is a woman. I also want to clear out I don't think my parents are bad people but just bad parents. Edit 2. This is long time coming. My sister, 33, and my dad have a little club. She is smart, reading since 4 and all that. Since she was very young my dad used to take her to visit his clients in a nearby city and sometimes she would stay with one of his best friends who owned a bookstore and she has a very large book collection that my parents refused to throw away, even when I tell them to send them to the woman, dad's best friend, or my sister. They talk almost daily and discuss economics,

politics, etc. I am not interested on any of those and yes, he tried to take me with him, but I was always bored and did things like going to my games or getting a stadium tickets for our team, but I feel he likes her more. My mom, on the other hand, has ups and downs with my sister because they are very different. The last issue was my sister's way. five years ago, yes, she had two. One intimate where she lives and another in our country, and my mom wanted to have her dresses made from a special fabric and my sister put a budget limit on how much the dress was going to be and even wanted to wear the same dress for both things. They had an argument but in the end she had two dresses but with the budget. She didn't

even let me bring my GF, future wife, because she wanted it to be intimate but there were like 50 people there. My mom told my fiancé she would be buying or making her dress. She didn't even making her dress singular. My mom and fiancé have a very good relationship, so I am sure my sister was involved somehow in convincing her of that. Sister has a PhD that my parents paid for and doesn't work in the family businesses at all, only consult sometimes and pretend she doesn't want to be paid for it. My parents supported her until she got a job and every time she graduated for the master's and the PhD we had to go to Europe to be there. I work in a family business so I know they have to talk to me eventually even if they are angry. I could give more and more examples of

their favoritism towards her. I also don't hate her I just wish she would let me shine on my days. And yes, the wedding would be a gift, but if they were willing to pay for two and many dresses and honeymoon, then I deserve the same treatment. Edit 3. In case anybody wants to know, you might be happy about this. I got a message from my dad telling me to be in a family Zoom call, to say everything I want and everybody will take turns. He said if I didn't attend he will pull out his funding from our business so I had to go but told him I will ask my fiancé to be in two. It was me, fiancé, parents, sister and her husband. The moment I connected I noticed my sister was pissed. I was the first to speak. I told them all my feelings and even brought up the fact

they are treating my wedding differently and even what some commenters brought up about my parents leaving the businesses to my sister. I spoke about how hurtful it was they preferred her, they seemed to talk to her about serious things and she gets so much and they all think she is great, etc., and nobody said anything or interrupted me, which is very common in serious family talks. Then they asked if my fiancé wanted to say anything and she bravely said she felt she was not part of the family and she always thought they thought of her as a daughter and she stands by me. Then it was my mom's turn and she told me she was sorry about my feelings, that they tried to do things I liked and that they love us both equally. She said it was sad I pretended

everything was okay and they didn't know how deep it was but she still thinks I need help. She then told my fiancé she loves her but my sister is her only daughter. Then it was my dad's turn. He said he is sorry I feel he doesn't like me but he isn't sorry for loving his kid. He said I didn't mind the tickets, cars, or even living in a house rent free and he is disappointed. He said everything they own will be divided 50 to 50 when they died, and if I didn't want my sister to have anything to do with our business, then I can buy him out. He said they will pay for my wedding no matter what because it's something they always wanted to do for their kids but are not happy with me. He also told my fiancé that she should be grateful and not greedy. By then I was upset with the lack

of apologies and the attack of my fiancé, but I held it. Then my bill told me he didn't know how I feel about his family and he just assumed his nuclear family would come just like I was at his brother's wedding. He said no hard feelings over it. Then it was my sister. A thing about my sister is that when she is truly angry she doesn't swear or screams, she is just really cold, hard, and to the neck. She said she could feel me distancing at around 10 to 11 when she visited from uni and I was not included in some conversations with my dad. She said she accepted being my guardian at 18 if my parents died, so she had to be brought up to speed on all matters and didn't want to stress me out. She said she could have been a better sister and she was sorry I grew so full of resentment,

but that her career path had nothing to do with me. She reminded me I was offered to go abroad, but I didn't want to. She reminded me that I have gone on holidays with her and let me know those holidays were paid by her or her husband not my parents. News to me. She said she asked me about her in-laws coming because they need to plan the trip around my wedding. She said my fiancé and I were only seven months together when she got married and that she didn't want my parents to have to pay for her trip. She said that the reason she doesn't want to get

paid for consulting is because she thinks is not right but that next time she will invoice me her actual hourly rate since I am so insulted by it. She said she went to the Netherlands, from Germany, because she was truly burned out and is pathetic I think is the same as taking a 10 hours plane. She said my grandma was the one that told her everything I said because my parents tried to protect me and that she was done with me for the moment until I get therapy. And the last thing she said was that she loves me but doesn't like me at all right now. This is obvious summary but the way she said the things is something I have seen her do to people but never to me and I almost cried but she had no niceness in the eyes. My parents said they can get me therapy or I can find it myself and that if I don't try something to help myself the wedding is the last thing I will get from them. What made me feel worse is how my sister spoke to me.

She has never talked to me like this even when we argued so I know she is serious. I got my hand into me. Yes, I am jealous and the asshole. I am upset my fiancé is crying, but I think I need to evaluate what my next move is. Also, we are from La Tom. Update 1. I haven't been able to sleep and decided to read all the comments again. I tried calling my sister because even if yes, I am just.

of her, it still hurts me the way she talked to me. She refused to talk to me, but I could speak with my bill. He said the reason she doesn't want to talk to me is because I hurt her deeply and she feels emotionally drained by me and knows if we talk she will say more hurtful things. This made me realize how much I love my sister and the problem is me. I still have bad feelings and feel I've been slighted. I cannot say I am magically a different person, but my family has never talked to me like they did and my sister has always defended me and I thought she did it to look good. I am beginning to think maybe she actually loves me. I am very confused. My bill is an amazing man too and he told me to just get help and give it time, but I am unsure what to do or where to go.

He told me to research therapists and pick one and he would help me choose if I want his help. He also said I should stop thinking my family doesn't care that they are not perfect but they do their best. But he also asked me what is my fiancé's family contributing to the wedding or our lives, and I could not think of anything. She lives with me, works with me and her parents are not paying anything because they say my family is better off. I don't know where that will go, but I did tell her I need help because I became a monster so no wedding until my family issue is fixed. She is crying but said she understands. My grandma said that she told my sister because my parents just told her there was an argument but not what I said. Looking back what I said is disgusting and I feel bad about it.

She said my family wouldn't react so strongly unless they love me a lot. I asked my dad if I can take some mental days off, noid a thing in my country, and he said it sounds like a good thing and reminded me they love me and just want me to be happy and not just pretend to be happy. Also, the books are in her walk-in closet in her bedroom at my parents. They still have a lot of my stuff in my bedroom and my parents said I'm welcome to Sunday meeting whenever I feel ready to go. I also must admit that she did two weddings because my parents asked if she would be willing to do so. My mom wanted to get her super fancy dresses and at the end

they got two dresses for like 600 euros because my sister put a limit of 300 per dress. I think maybe I am jealous of her because she is actually better than me, I just don't want to feel like this anymore or hurting my family anymore. So I guess I can thank Reddit for the hard comments. I have so many issues and so much jealousy about my sister to get over I don't know where to start. I am beginning to doubt if I am even ready to get married. But if the comments had been full of support, I would probably not see it. And of course my family call was really something hard to be in. Update 2. It has been a very interesting time for me and my family. I wanted to share because you redditers are brutal but fair. Some told me I am rambling and yes I do so I try my best this time.

My family, after taking some days off work to process it all, my bill found me a therapist and I started immediately. We have also done group sessions and couple ones, aka me and dad, me and mom, me and sister. It has helped me see all the issues and we are learning to communicate better as a family so nobody, me, feels unloved or unappreciated ever again. I now know I have a long road ahead but I want to be better. My parents say they just want the best for me and they want me to feel loved. Also, I am moving back home. After high school I moved out because I wanted to do things like my sister but I feel it is the best option so when my parents gave me the option I thought it over and agreed to. Baby steps but good ones. My sister, she didn't talk to me at all for about 10 days.

days, and this might sound stupid, but it is the longest chase and communicated with me ever. It hurt me a lot and I knew I hurt her a lot. In our session she showed me a list of many messages people send about me. They were all positive, praising my talents and all. She said we are different but great in out-owned ways and the reason I usually don't hear how great I am is because people don't praise me directly. She also told me most of the time when something happens that my parents know she might give me shit about they simply don't tell her so I don't have drama and joke maybe I am the true golden child since they shield me. She is talking to me again and has helped me a lot.

Am I still jealous of her? Yes, but I want to transform that into admiration. My ex, while I know my feelings are mine and I am responsible for them, my ex did throw gasoline to it. She was always the first to point out anything my sister got that I didn't, or how much money everybody spent on things, etc. Long story short, we broke up. Long story, I told her I was considering moving back with my parents and maybe getting a master

or something like that. She was not pleased with it and kept asking about the wedding, but I told her I could not think about marriage at this moment and maybe we could also use a break. I also told her I would give her three months to find a place to stay or she could pay rent on the house, my parents own it. She was very angry, told me I had to marry. her and if not at least let her live rent-free and cover utilities and food because I was breaking up out of the blue. I told her that was the reason I was giving her three months and she could use

her salary since she didn't use a single cent while we were together. Then things got weird and bad. She told me she was calling her family, not leaving the house and will sue me for mental distress. I did panicked, she said the same back in the day when I tried breaking up but then convinced me she was the only one that loved me. But this time I called my family and they told me to lock myself out the house and call a friend of my sisters. He came and told her she can sue,

she can do whatever, she is not getting anything in that my offer of the three months was off and he wanted her out ASAP. He took a video with the state of everything and told her if things are damaged I would sue her. Turns out my sister told him this might be coming so he got info from her

and was prepared for it and did it as a favor to her since they are kindergarten friends. A couple of my cousins stayed with me until she left days later and her dad told me I would go to hell. She is still working in the company and will have a job as long as she performs but I have no relation with her at all anymore and haven't been to the office. Yes, there is nepotism and my family hires each other. But nobody would take away her job because she does an okay job and is always on time.

I hope she finds love again, just not with me. And me, I am single, at home and most of her. likely unemployed in the next month since my parents say I should focus on myself and my mental health. My bill has been one of my rocks through this and he truly cares for all my family and we are becoming true friends. My grandma let me know nobody liked my ex and she is happy we are not together anymore. She says they all started disliking her when she got upset they didn't get her expensive things for our first Christmas. My friends also told me they didn't like her. Turns out everybody wanted it to end and some said so jokingly over the years but they thought

she helped me out and made me happy so they dealt with her. I hope I get better luck and love but I need to be better too. I might take up the offer to start over abroad but I feel more positive. And yes, my sister and I are trying to find common ground. She truly is amazing and the more I get to know her and her flaws and weird things like her lemon juice obsession, the more I like her. At the end speaking my truth got me what I needed and while I was a huge awe I can admit how privileged I am. Still not perfect, but a little less awe. Update 3. Hello my brutal but fair friends. I wanted to give you my final update before but a

redditor let me know about a very cruel post mocking me and it sent me into a spiral. I am lucky to feel stronger and want to update you mainly to conclude this chapter of my life and also because I have received a lot of support and kindness and love I feel is just the right thing. I will also try to keep it straight. My ex, since I left the company we have not talked much, but she became upset when I told her I was not coming back and we will be selling it. My dad made a deal with a friend that every employee that wanted to would get the option to stay at least three years and would keep their position and not be demoted. I told her that, but she said it was unfair, that people already treat her different and she feels people like her less.

I told her I haven't say anything, but I know people were not crazy about her before and it doesn't surprise me that now that she is not related to any boss they're not putting up with her. We did have a big conversation about my future and it is obvious she was not with me for the right reasons. My sister, I told her about my posts and she asked to read them. After a little thought I told her my username and she said she wanted to check it out and we can talk about it later. She was very upset people were mean to me but very thankful people called me out because I I really needed that. She said her lemon juice thing was not that weird and teased me about it. In getting to know her more I have also been told things like they have lost two babies, but I was not told since I didn't seem interested in their life and she was afraid I wouldn't

take it well and it broke me. It made me realize my sister is really a human and not myth, and she has suffered things I can't even understand and made me really ashamed I was not there for her because I was being selfish and arrogant. Even in the pain she thought of how I would feel because yes, my sister does love me. She has assured me she loves me unconditionally, but now she is starting to like me again. My bill and parents, my bill is an amazing man. I really hope one day I am like him in my own version.

I get more and more why he truly deserves to be with my sister and he is full of love and patience. We had a long conversation about them having kids and I told him to please don't think I am an obstacle. He was really moved because he told me they were considering not trying at all until I were better, but I know in my heart I would not forgive myself if I prevented them to have babies. My parents told me now that I am making changes in life they would like to spend seasons in Germany and the only reason they didn't before is

because they wanted to be close to me. Turns out they wanted to be close to me all along. I just was too stupid to notice. Me, I am moving to Germany. I decided to just try something new. My sister and Bill are helping me with all the paperwork I will be going under an applicant permit and I feel very happy about it. My parents are helping me translate my documents, do everything to make them legal and all. I am applying for a master degree and will get support from my family, sale of the business and a little job my bill got me. I am just finalizing things and will be moving at the end of the year. My sister owns her own department and she will host me until I find my own. I am already taking German classes and my bill helps me practice too. That is the reason I know without a doubt my

ex is not for me, because when I told her I was moving to Germany, her only question was if she could come too and if my parents would be willing to help her out since she doesn't get a wedding now. She has been posting things about how my sister and how she destroyed her life with her schemes, but my sister's friend sent her a notice letting her know we would sue her and she stopped naming her and now it is all passive aggressive posts without my sister's name. I apologize to my sister, but She only asked me if I would ever get back with my ex, and when I said no, she told me she couldn't care less about what my ex did. I am working very hard on my mental health.

I know it may take months or years to be in a place where I have zero jealousy, but I also know it is for the best. I have not started dating again even if some friends suggested it because I want to be a worthy man and I am moving so I see no point. My therapist is amazing and since we do the sessions online it shouldn't be a problem. Sometimes I reevaluate some memories and realize people did like me, did love me, did care about me, but I just couldn't see it. My sister is truly just extraordinary and I couldn't see it because I didn't truly knew her and was so focused about myself. I now know I am also extraordinary in my own way or at least she keeps telling me that and I should stop comparing myself to her or anybody else.

I never really appreciated how much my parents thought of me or did for me but now I know my family loves me and we are not perfect and I am not perfect but I will never take them for granted. I am looking forward for a better future, a better relationship with my family and if I am lucky enough a new nephew or niece. Thank you for all you have told me and for being the kick I needed to change my life. I am very grateful I came to this site. Update 4. Hello to the few asking about an update. I recently read all my posts and I feel very ashamed and proud of them. Ashaned because I was such an idiot and proud for the progress so far. Things have changed a little but it is all positive for us.

My parents, they now do seasonal or small stays in Germany. We have taken small hobbies together like wine painting and we keep getting to know each other better. My parents might eventually end up moving here but is unclear yet. The celebration of the anniversary is still postponed but they went on a very fancy trip as a second honeymoon and they don't seem to care much for that. My bill, he's my brother now. I also became friends with his brother and they introduced me to their football and pool groups.

I eventually made other friends but keep hanging with them a lot. My sister, she says she likes me again which honestly is the best feeling in the world. They are starting to try again soon and I am just excited for them. Sometimes when I feel any jealousy I actually tell her and she takes me step by step to see where it came from. We have had arguments since we are human but nothing so big or permanent and I feel she is more comfortable with me now. My ex, I don't keep up much with her. We were supposed to be friends, but she was so negative I simply blocked her everywhere. All I know is she is dating someone else and telling everybody around she is so glad she didn't marry me which same. Me, I got into the

program I wanted. I arrived at the end of 2021 and stayed a bit with my sister and Bill. There was a lot of debates over staying in the same city, but I decided to do so. I moved out and decided to give student life a try, but I still see my sister at least two times a week and same with my parents when they are here. I am still in therapy, learning ways to improve and bike everywhere. I had a couple flings since I arrived but still do not feel ready for a relationship. I want to find a partner but is scary and I need to be able to do so without being manipulated. One year ago I made a disgusting remark and now it feels. my life is just going up. Thank you guys. Update 5. I recently showed this to my girlfriend and she is surprised how things happened.

I am very happy and love my life now. I will be an uncle soon, almost done with my new degree, and have a great relationship with my family. This is for the few people that ask for updates, which probably will be the only one's reading. No drama or anything bad to report. And now I'm also upset. with lemon juice. Thank you Reddit for kicking my ass and improving my life. I hope you enjoy this story. Bob disposed of my meal during a gathering with relatives without any justification, but later I discovered that my grinder had covertly incorporated my severe allergen to examine if my allergy was real. My husband, 34M, and I, 32F, went to a large family gathering that was held at my in-law's house, where his entire extended family including aunts, uncles, and cousins were present.

These get-togethers are a regular occurrence, happening a few times a year. It's important context that everyone in my husband's family knows I have a very serious food allergy, one that is life-threatening for me. Even a minuscule amount of the allergen can trigger anaphylaxis, a fact that has been clear to them for many years since the allergy is not new and I have had it since childhood. Because of this significant health risk, I have always made it a practice to bring my own food to these gatherings. I prepare my meals myself within the safety of my own kitchen, using my own utensils and containers to ensure there is absolutely no chance of cross-contamination.

My mother-in-law, Mill 60F, has made comments about this arrangement in the past, suggesting that my caution makes things complicated or that I am being overly careful. On several occasions, she has tried to persuade me. to try a little of the food she cooked, claiming she was careful, but I have always had to politely refuse her offers. My husband is completely supportive in this matter because he fully understands the serious nature of my condition. So, last Saturday, we arrived at my in-laws' home, and I was carrying my container with my prepared meal. I placed it on the kitchen counter a small distance away from all the other dishes, which is the same routine I follow every time. People were

mingling and chatting around us while my mill was occupied with her main dishes. My father-in-law, Phil, 62M, was also in the kitchen at the time and saw me set my container down, looking first at the container and then at me without saying a word. A short while later, when people were beginning to line up and make their plates, I went back to the kitchen to get my food, only to find that my container was gone. I looked around the counters, thinking that perhaps someone had simply moved it to a different spot. I asked my husband, if he had seen it, but he hadn't. Next, I asked my mill if she had moved my special dish,

but she just waved her hand dismissively while serving a casserole, telling me she was busy and hadn't touched it. At this point, I started to feel a bit worried, knowing I really couldn't eat anything else available at the party. I then noticed my fill standing near the trash can, and he seemed to have a strange expression on his face. I walked over to him and calmly asked if he had happened to see my food container. He looked me directly in the eye before pointing toward the kitchen trash can,

informing me very calmly that he had thrown it away. I was completely stunned and asked him why he would possibly do that, reminding him that he knew I could need anything else and that I needed that specific food. His only response was to say that he had his reasons and that it was for the best, offering no further explanation for his action. I was left standing there completely speechless until my husband came over to ask what was wrong. When I told him that his dad had thrown my food in the trash, he was also shocked and immediately asked his father for a reason. Phil just repeated the same vague statement about having his reasons

for doing it. By now, a few other family members were starting to notice that something was happening in the kitchen. Because the house has an open plan layout, people in the adjoining dining area began looking over to see what the commotion was about. I wasn't yelling, but my voice was firm as I told Phil that his behavior was not acceptable and that he had no right to throw away my food. I found myself explaining yet again, even though he already knew, that it was the only thing I could safely eat. It was then that Mill came over to ask what the fuss was about. After someone explained that Phil had thrown out my food, her immediate reaction was to tell me I was overreacting and that it was just a bit of food. She even suggested that I could probably find something she had

cooked that I could eat. I had to tell her firmly that no, I could not, and that she was well aware of this fact and the seriousness of the situation. My husband backed me up completely, telling his dad that he needed to explain himself right away. Still, Phil refused to give a reason, looking very uncomfortable while just repeating that he did what he thought was right. I noticed him glance at Mill for a second as he said this. I told Phil that his actions were completely out of line and that without a real reason, what he did was simply a cruel act. As this was happening, some family members started whispering amongst themselves. I overheard an aunt remark that I was making a big deal out of nothing, while a cousin

suggested that Phil probably had a good reason and I should just trust him. I responded to that by saying that I couldn't imagine any good reason for what he had done. Finally, I told my husband that I wanted to leave. I was too angry and upset to stay there. especially with nothing I could eat and after being treated so poorly. My husband agreed with me, and as we were gathering our things to go, Phil had a very conflicted look on his face. In contrast, Mill was accusing me of ruining her party and being overly dramatic, claiming that I always caused problems with my food issues.

We left shortly after that. My husband was angry with his father but also very confused by his bizarre behavior. I am just as confused, as I don't understand why, Phil would do something so out of character. He has always been a quiet and reasonable man, so this action came as a complete shock. So, Reddit, Ida for getting upset and leaving after Phil threw away my food without explaining why. I feel my reaction was justified given the severity of my allergy and the circumstances, but the way some family members and my mill reacted has made me wonder if I could have handled it differently. Update one, a few days later, first, I want to say

thank you to everyone who commented and sent messages. The support has been overwhelming, and the general consensus that I was in DIA helped me feel less like I was going crazy. I wanted to start by clearing up a few things that people have been asking about in the comments. A lot of you asked why my husband wasn't with me immediately or why I didn't just leave the moment I saw my food was gone. Things happened very fast. My husband was talking with his cousins in the other room when I went to the kitchen, and he came over as soon as he heard the tension in my voice. I didn't leave right away because I was honestly just in shock. The idea of my Phil, who has always been a quiet and gentle person, doing something like this

was so out of character that I genuinely thought there must be a strange explanation, and I wanted to understand it before just storming out. I also need to clarify the history with my mill, as many people asked if she was always this bad. While she has always made passive aggressive comments about my allergy and my pickiness as she calls it, she had never done anything this aggressive or overt before. Her annoyance was something we had learned to manage, but this incident was pretty shocking, which is why we were all so confused at first. Now, onto what has happened since that day. The last few days have been a complete roller coaster, and I still can't quite believe what has transpired since that day. The morning after the disastrous family gathering, my husband called his

dad, telling him very firmly that he needed to explain his actions immediately. He made it clear that throwing away my food was unacceptable and that his continued silence was creating a massive problem between all of us. On the phone, Phil sounded very distressed and asked if he and my husband could meet alone to talk. My husband agreed and went to see Phil at their house at a time when Mill was supposed to be out with her sister. They met for about an hour, and when my husband returned home, he looked pale and was visibly shaken. He sat me down and carefully recounted what Phil had told him. According to my husband, Phil began their conversation by apologizing for the clumsy way he had handled everything at the party, admitting that he had panicked. He then revealed the real

reason he had thrown away my food. He explained that he had seen mill tampering with my food container just a few moments before I went to the kitchen to get it. He described seeing her open my container and add something to it from a small, clear bag containing some kind of powder or ground-up substance. He watched as she quickly sprinkled it into my meal and stirred it in before closing the lid. Shortly after witnessing this, Phil confronted Mill quietly in the utility room, while I was still unaware in the other room. When he asked her what she had put in my food, she initially denied doing anything at all. However, when he pressed her for the truth, she reportedly broke down and admitted to putting a small amount of my allergen into my meal. She confessed to him that she wanted to test

whether my allergy was real, as she apparently held a belief that I was exaggerating it for attention or just to be difficult. She had also made a comment about me needing to build up a tolerance. Phil was absolutely horrified by her confession. He told my husband that he was frozen in that moment, unsure of what to do. He was afraid that if he accused Mill publicly, she would create a massive scene and deny everything or try to twist the story to her advantage. At the same time, he was worried that I might accidentally eat the contaminated food before he could get to me if he didn't act immediately. So, in what he could only describe as a moment of pure panic, his solution was to grab my container and throw it directly into the trash, ensuring I could not eat it.

He had intended to explain everything to my husband and me in private later, but the situation escalated much more quickly than he had anticipated. As my husband relayed all of this to me, I felt a wave of nausea and was unable to speak for several minutes. The thought that Mill would deliberately try to make me sick, to intentionally trigger a potentially fatal allergic reaction, was utterly terrifying. It's one thing for her to be annoyed or make passive-aggressive comments, but this was a malicious act of betrayal that I simply cannot comprehend. My husband was furious with his mother. He told Phil that while he now understood the motivation behind throwing the food away, his father should have informed us immediately or at least pulled me aside discreetly to warn me.

Phil apparently agreed with this and was extremely remorseful for how he had handled the reveal, explaining again that he was just so shocked by what his wife had done. Later that same evening, Phil called me directly to apologize profusely for throwing away the food without an immediate explanation. He then told me himself what he had seen Mill do, and he sounded exhausted and deeply sorry. He felt he had to protect me but acknowledged that he had done it in a clumsy and alarming way. Phil then asked if the three of us, he, my husband, and I, could come over the next day to talk with Mill present. He said that he wanted her to have to face us and admit what she had done.

Despite my dread, I knew it was something that needed to happen, so we agreed. The following day, we went to their house, where we found both Mill and Phil waiting. The atmosphere in the room was incredibly tense. Phil began the conversation by stating he had something important to say, wanting Mill to listen before telling us the truth herself. He then recounted in clear, specific detail what he had seen her do to my food. After he finished, he turned to her and told her to explain to us why she did it. Mill's reaction was nothing short of explosive.

While she started crying, it felt like tears of anger rather than remorse. She didn't deny having put the allergen in my food. Instead, she began yelling and deflecting blame. She shouted that I was the problem, that my allergy made everything too difficult for her, and that she was tired of catering to my needs. She accused me of being too sensitive and too demanding, even going so far as to accuse me of trying to alienate her from her own son. She insisted that she just wanted to see if I was faking and claimed that a little bit wouldn't

have hurt me that much, a statement which is dangerously untrue, as even a trace amount could kill me. My husband completely lost his temper at that point, telling her she was unbelievable and that she could have killed me. He asked her if she had any comprehension of the severity of her actions, but she just continued crying and screaming that it was my fault for being the way I am, claiming that I had made her do it by being so difficult. Throughout her entire tirade, Phil remained very quiet, just looking at her with a cold, stony expression on his face. When she finally quieted down into exhausted sobs, Phil spoke, telling her that he didn't recognize the person she had become and that her actions were unforgivable.

There was never any apology directed at me from Mill. Not a single word of remorse was offered for what she did, only blame and accusations. I told her directly that her actions were malicious and dangerous, and that I could never trust her again and wanted nothing more to do with her. Her response was to start screaming that I was the one breaking up the family and turning her son and husband against her. It was a truly horrible and ugly scene, and we left soon after that. My husband told his mother that he needed space and could not speak to her for the time being. I have no idea where we go from here. While my fill seems to be on our side, he is still married to this woman. My husband is

completely disgusted with his mother, and I am still trying to process the horrifying fact that my mother-in-law actively tried to harm me. This has moved far beyond a simple Ida question and into a living nightmare. Update 2, a week later, it's been a little over a week now since Phil's revelation about Mills' attempt to contaminate my food and the ugly confrontation that followed. Instead of improving, things seemed to be actively getting worse. After leaving their house that day, my husband and I decided we needed to implement a strict no-contact rule with Mill for the foreseeable future. My husband called Phil to inform him of this decision, explaining that while we appreciate him telling the truth, we cannot interact with Mill until she truly acknowledges the severity

of her actions and agrees to seek professional help. Even then, I honestly can't imagine ever wanting to be around her again. Phil told my husband he understood our position and sounded very tired and sat over the phone. He mentioned that the situation at his home was terrible, reporting that Mill was either giving him the silent treatment or blaming him for ruining everything. Thankfully, Mill has not tried to contact me directly. She has, however, been relentlessly contacting my husband with multiple long, rambling text messages. In these texts, her tone shifts wildly between feign crying, sharp accusations, and blatant attempts to guilt-trip him. She has accused him of abandoning her and has claimed that I have somehow brainwashed him.

She continues to minimize her actions, repeating that she didn't mean any real harm and was just frustrated with my demands. There is no indication that she understands how dangerous her actions were, as she keeps writing things like, It was only a tiny bit, and you know your wife exaggerates things. My husband has handled this very well, either not responding to her messages or replying very briefly to state that her understanding of the situation is incorrect and that he will not discuss it further until she takes responsibility. These responses from him usually just trigger another barrage of angry or tearful messages from her. The whiter family has now become aware of what happened, because Phil apparently felt the need to tell his siblings the truth after discovering that Mill was spreading a completely different version of the events. We heard from my husband's aunt, Phil's sister, that Mill had been telling people that Phil had

misunderstood the situation. She claimed she was just trying to add some flavor to my bland food, and that I had overreacted and caused a huge fight, which resulted in Phil wrongly taking my side. We also learned that she has been telling some relatives that I have Munchausens or that I'm faking the entire allergy for attention. Phil's sister is horrified by Mill's actions and has been very supportive, calling me to express her shock and tell me how sorry she is that we are going through this. She admitted that Mill has always been somewhat difficult and self-centered, but this behavior is beyond anything she could have imagined. She also confirmed that Mill has been calling everyone in the family, crying and desperately trying to get people to side with her. Meanwhile, Mill's own sister, who is my husband's other aunt, is apparently supporting Mill without reservation. She has been calling my husband to tell him he is being cruel to his mother, insisting that Mill is a wreck and that we are exaggerating the entire situation.

She even had the nerve to say that I should have been more understanding of Mill's stress from hosting and having to deal with my special requirements. My husband eventually had to hang up on her when she refused to listen to reason. A few days ago, the situation escalated when Mill showed up unannounced at our apartment while my husband was at work. I was working from home and heard the doorbell ring repeatedly. When I looked through the peephole and saw it was her, I did not open the door. She then began banging on the door and calling out my name, crying that she just wanted to talk so we could sort this out. I remained silent, hoping she would leave. After about ten minutes of banging and calling for me, she started yelling, shouting that I was

heartless and that I was destroying her family and that this was all my fault. My neighbor across the hall opened his door to see what was causing the commotion, and upon seeing him, Mill glared for a moment before starting to cry again, telling him that I wouldn't let her see her son, which wasn't true since he wasn't even home. She finally left after my neighbor threatened to call building security. The whole experience left me shaken, feeling like, a prisoner in my own home. I immediately called my husband, who was furious that she had come to our home. He then called his father, who sounded distraught to learn what had happened. Phil said that Mill

had stormed out of their house earlier, declaring she was going to fix things with me. He apologized for her behavior, explaining that he had tried to stop her but she was completely irrational and wouldn't listen. The stress from all of this is immense and is affecting both my husband and me. It's impacting my sleep and my ability to concentrate on work. There is absolutely no reconciliation in sight, and it feels like this situation is only going to continue to escalate. Update 3, two weeks later, it has now been three weeks since the initial incident at the family gathering, and the situation has continued to deteriorate just as I feared it would. Following Mill's unsettling appearance at our apartment where she caused a scene, my husband sent her a very clear and final message. He told her

that her behavior was completely unacceptable, that she was forbidden from coming to our home or my workplace uninvited, and that any further harassment would compel us to explore our legal options. He once again reiterated that we would not have any contact with her until she took full responsibility for the poisoning attempt and sought professional help for her behavior. She never replied to that message. Mill has been in sporadic contact with my husband, and he sounds increasingly worn down with each call. He confessed to my husband that living with Mill has become unbearable, describing her as swinging between long periods of sullen silence, dramatic tearful breakdowns where she claims everyone is against her, and sudden fits of rage where she screams about how I have

ruined her life and her marriage. He said she still refuses to admit any real wrongdoing regarding the food incident, constantly changing her story. Sometimes she denies it happened, other times she admits it but claims it was harmless, and on other occasions, she says I deserved it for being so difficult. He also mentioned, with concern, that she has been drinking much more than she normally does. Last week, another public incident occurred. Phil and Mill had been invited to a small dinner party at the home of some old family friends. These friends were apparently aware of the general situation, as Phil had previously confided in the husband. According to Phil, who recounted the story to my husband later, Mill was quiet and withdrawn for the first part of the evening. However,

during a conversation about family and grandchildren, Mill suddenly burst into tears. She then launched into a long, loud tirade in front of all the other guests, declaring that her life was ruined. She accused me of being a malicious person who had deliberately set out to destroy her family from the moment I met her son. She claimed I had been faking my allergy for years just to get attention and to make her life difficult. She insisted that I had turned both her son and her husband against her, saying horrible things about my character. In a bizarre turn, she then started talking about how she was a good mother and a good wife who didn't deserve any of this. The hosts were reportedly extremely uncomfortable as Phil tried in vain to calm her down.

When he tried to intervene, she pushed him away and continued shouting. making wild accusations that were not making much sense. He eventually had to physically guide her out of their friend's house, with her struggling and shouting at him all the way to the car. He was deeply embarrassed by the scene and apologized profusely to their friends. The next day, those friends called Phil to express their concern for him, adding that they were shocked by Mills' behavior and the terrible thing she had said about me, as they have known me for years and were well aware of my allergy.

After this public meltdown, Phil told my husband that he simply couldn't do it anymore. He said that after being married to Mill for nearly 40 years, he felt that he didn't even know her anymore. He loved her, or at least the woman he thought she was, but her actions towards me, combined with her refusal to take responsibility, her constant lies, her emotional instability, and her increasingly erratic behavior. Had shown him a sight of her he could no longer live with. He announced to my husband that he has decided to separate from Mill and has already spoken to a lawyer to understand his options. His plan is to ask Mill to move out of their home, and if she refuses, he will find another place to live. My husband was very quiet after hearing this news. While he is sad about the end of his parents' marriage, he told me he understands his father's decision, because his mother's behavior has become indefensible.

He is also very worried about how Mill will react when Phil officially tell him. her about the separation. I am feeling a strange mixture of emotions about this development. On one hand, I feel validated that Phil is taking such a definitive step, as it acknowledges the severity of what Mill did. On the other hand, I am filled with a sense of dread, worried that this will make Mill even more mad and that she will blame me even more for the breakdown of her marriage. There is no peace to be found in this situation. It's only a constant state of crisis. I cannot any positive outcome from this. It's just a matter of damage control and trying to protect our own peace as much as possible. Update 4. A month later, Phil moved out of the family home about

three weeks ago, confirming to us that his conversation with Mill about the separation did not go well, which seems to have been a massive understatement. He described her reaction as progressing from disbelief to begging and then to threats. Apparently, she threw things and screamed at him for hours, and he said he ultimately had to leave while she was in one of her rages because he was genuinely worried about what she might do. He is now living in a small, rented apartment and has officially filed for divorce. He told my husband that it was the hardest decision of his life, but he felt he had no other choice, as Mills' behavior since he moved out has only confirmed that he made the right one. She has apparently been calling him constantly, leaving a stream of voicemails

that alternate between tearful pleas for him to return and angry accusations, including threats to ruin him financially. As I feared, Mill is squarely and entirely blaming me for the divorce. She made this terrifyingly clear about two weeks ago when I received a letter at our apartment. It was from her, handwritten and several pages long. My husband was with me when I opened it, and we were both appalled by its contents. The letter was filled with pure hatred and endless accusations, calling me all sorts of vile names. She accused me of systematically plotting to destroy her marriage from the very first day I met her son. She claimed my fake allergy was my primary tool for manipulating everyone and making her look like a bad person.

In one particularly disturbing line, she called me a cuckoo in her nest who had pushed out her own child, referring to my husband taking my side, and had now successfully pushed out her husband as well. The letter explicitly stated that her marriage was a woman. ending was 100% my fault and warned that I would get what I deserve. The entire letter was so unhinged and disturbing that we have decided to keep it, just in case it for legal reasons in the future, like for a restraining order if her behavior continues to escalate. My husband was disgusted and furious after reading what his mother had written. He called Phil immediately to inform him about the letter, and Phil was not surprised by its contents. He said that Mill has been sending similar

messages to him and to other family members in an attempt to poison them against both of us. Phil once again advised us to keep any and all communications from her as evidence. He also mentioned that Mill has flatly refused his offers to pay for therapy for her, or for them to enter mediation to sort out the divorce. She is apparently demanding that he stopped the divorce proceedings immediately and come to his senses. In another escalation, Mill has tried to get to my husband through his place of work. She called his office number multiple times, crying to the receptionist and claiming there was a family

emergency that required her to speak with emergently. His company has a policy against personal calls, but she was so insistent and sounded so distressed that the receptionist put her through to his line once. My husband was in a meeting at the time, and when he received the message and realized it was her, he had to instruct the receptionist to no longer put her calls through, briefly explaining that it was a difficult personal situation. He was very embarrassed to have this drama spill into his professional life. Some of Mill's relatives, especially her sister and a few of her cousins, have now completely cut ties with my husband. They have sent him messages telling him that he has betrayed his mother

by choosing his manipulative wife over his own family, parroting Mills claims that I am the sole cause of all these problems. It has become clear that Mill has been very effective in her smear campaign among her side of the family. Thankfully, there have been no further acts of physical aggression from ill since she banged on our door, but her emotional and verbal attacks continue. The atmosphere around our lives is just awful. My husband is grieving the loss of his relationship with his mother and the end of his parents' marriage.

Phil is trying to move forward with the divorce and meets with his lawyer regularly. He looks older and deeply sad whenever we see him, but he remains resolute in his decision. He has expressed his regret to us many times for not seeing or addressing Mills' underlying issues sooner. He also continues to feel a lot of guilt for how he initially handled the situation at the party, even though he was acting to protect me. We have repeatedly reassured him that we understand he was in an impossible situation. In a small, sad way, the relationship between my husband and his father has become closer through this shared trauma, as they are supporting each other. But the wider family is fractured beyond repair.

Family gatherings, which were once at least a tolerable part of our lives, are now completely unthinkable. The damage that Mill has caused, first with her attempt to harm me and then with her subsequent behavior, is deep and widespread. I hope you enjoy this story. Brought up my girls independently for two decades following their mother's desertion, only to have them declare I wasn't their biological father when their mother's affluent new spouse proposed adoption. Them. My name is Elias. I'm 54 now, but this whole mess really kicked off

a few years back. For close to 30 years, I worked at the same manufacturing plant. Started at the bottom, ended up in a mid-level spot. My wife, Leona, left when our girls, Amara and Colista, were young. Amara was 10, Callista was 7. Leona, well, she wasn't. wasn't cut out for quiet family life, I guess. After she left, her visits were all over the place. Sometimes she'd show up full of smiles and big promises, other times we wouldn't hear from her for months. When she did come, it often ended with the girls feeling let down because something she said

would happen, didn't. So, it was mostly me raising them. I wasn't perfect, but I was always there. I wanted them to have a better life than I did, a life with more choices. My own upbringing was pretty working class. Food on the table, roof over our heads, but not much extra. I was determined my girls would have the extras. To make sure they had what they needed, I worked.

A lot. My main job at the plant, then side jobs. Fixing things for people, a bit of consulting based on my plant experience. I was pulling 60, sometimes 70 hours a week, year after year. It meant I could send them to a good private school. It meant SAT tutors to get them ready for college. And then it meant paying for college itself. Amara did a study abroad thing in Spain for a semester.

Calista needed help with her first car. I covered it. We didn't live like rich people, not by a long shot. My house is small. I drove the same old truck for 15 years. My work jeans were more patches than original denim sometimes. But the girls, they never went without. They had what they needed to focus on school, to have a kind of normal childhood, a good start.

Things started to change when they were in their early 20s. Leona came back into the picture more often. She'd remarried. Her new husband was a guy named Sterling. He was successful, or at least he looked the part. Had his own business, wore expensive suits, drove a fancy car. Leona was different with him.

More polished, I guess. Sterling made it a point to get involved with Amara and Calista. He got Amara an internship at a company he knew. He had some contacts and got Callista connected with a local agency. At first, I thought, okay, maybe this is good for them. More people looking out for them. But then I started to see a shift. The girls became distant.

Calls got shorter. They were busy a lot, usually with things involving Sterling and Leona. They started talking about Sterling's nice house, the people he knew. My little place, my quiet life, it probably seemed pretty dull in comparison. I remember one weekend, I'd planned a camping trip, something we used to do when they were younger. They both cancelled last minute. Amara said Sterling was taking them to some event. Callista said she had a networking event Sterling had arranged. It stung, sure, but I told myself they were adults, making their own choices. Then the question started. Small at first. Little comments

about genetics, about who they took after. Leona had apparently been filling their heads with stories. One evening, Amara called. She sounded hesitant. She asked if there was anything I hadn't told them about their mother, about the time before the divorce. I asked her what she meant. She said their mother had told them she'd had an affair, a long time ago, before Leona and I split up.

And that Leona now believes someone else might be their biological father. I was shocked. Leona and I had our problems, a lot of them, but I never, ever. never doubted the girls were mine. Sterling, according to Amara, had been part of these talks. He'd apparently mentioned that, for tax reasons and for estate planning, he could legally adopt them as adults. He said it would solidify their role in the family, meaning his and Leona's new family. Amara and Colista started using phrases I'd never heard from them before. Things like modern family structure and needing emotional closure regarding their true heritage.

Leona, during our marriage, had a temper. A bad one. When things didn't go her way, she could get explosive. Screaming, throwing things. I remember once, when Amara was about five, Leona had promised to take her to a special puppet show. The day before, Leona got a call from a friend inviting her to a weekend trip to the city. The puppet show was forgotten. When I tried to talk to her about how disappointed Amara would be,

Leona flew into a rage. She accused me of holding her back. Amara was terrified. That was Leona. All drama and broken promises. Her reappearance now, with Sterling, felt like history repeating, but with a new angle. She used to just disappear. Now she was trying to take them with her, in a way. One specific time when the girls were teenagers, Leona was supposed to take them school shopping. She showed up three hours late, smelling of wine, with half the money she promised she'd bring. When Callista quietly asked if they'd still be able to get the sneakers she wanted, Leona snapped. She yelled that they were ungrateful, that she was sacrificing so much just to see them. She threw the money she had on the kitchen table and stormed out, leaving them in tears.

I took them shopping the next day. That was the pattern. Big gestures, then drama. then disappointment. Sterling seemed to smooth over her rough edges, at least in public, but the entitlement was still there, underneath. And she was clearly using him and his money to lower the girls. The big confrontation happened a few weeks after Amara's phone call. They asked to come over, both of them. They sat on my old couch. Amara did most of the talking at first. Callista just looked at her hands. Amara repeated what Leona had told them. That Leona had an affair around the time Amara

was conceived, and then another one before Cullista. That Leona was almost certain I wasn't their biological father. She said Leona was very distressed by this revelation and wanted to make things right. Then Cullista piped up. She said Sterling had explained it all. That if he adopted them, it would simplify inheritance. He apparently told them it was a practical step for their future financial security. Colista said, it's just for legal stuff, Dad. For taxes and things. Amara nodded. It's not personal, Dad. Then she said the words that really twisted the knife. Sterling fits better with our lives now. Mom is happier, and things are looking up for us with his help. I didn't say much at first. I just listened. My head was spinning. After all the years,

all the sacrifices. This is what it came down to. Their mother, who barely raised them, and her new rich husband, telling them I wasn't their father, and them just, accepting it. For practical reasons. I got up, went to my old filing cabinet, and pulled out a folder. During the divorce, Leona had had tried to claim I wasn't Amara's father even back then. Probably to get out of something or cause trouble. We had paternity tests done. For both girls. It was a legal requirement for the custody papers.

I had the official documents. Clear as day. Both Amara and Colista were my biological daughters. I laid the papers on the table in front of them. This was from the divorce, I said. Paternity tests Legally verified You are both my daughters

Amara picked up the top sheet, glanced at it, then put it down. Colista didn't even look. Mom said those old tests might not be accurate, Amara said, her voice flap. She said things are more advanced now. Calista added, softly, Sterling said he'd pay for new tests, if we wanted.

But he also said, what's the point. It's about who steps up, right? He's stepping up for us now. The indifference in their eyes. That was the worst part. It wasn't about truth for them. It was about what they wanted to be true. What was convenient? What Leona and Sterling were selling them. They didn't even argue about the papers. They just dismissed them. It was clear their minds were made up. Or, or Or, Leona and Sterling had made them up for them. Amara actually said, Look, Dad, we appreciate everything you did when we were growing up.

But we're adults now. We need to think about our future. Mom and Sterling are offering us a different kind of future. I sat there for a long moment after they said their peace. They looked uncomfortable, shifting on the couch, waiting for me to argue, maybe. Or to plead. I didn't. I just felt empty. Like something inside me had just switched off.

Quietly, I collected the paternity documents from the table. I folded them and put them back in their envelope. I didn't yell. I didn't get dramatic. What was the point? They'd already made their choice. I looked at them, both my daughters. The girls I'd changed diapers for, taught to ride bikes, sat up with when they were sick. The girls I'd worked my fingers to the bone for. And then I acted. The next day, I started making calls. First, I ended all financial support.

The small allowance I still sent Colista for her supplies, the top-up I gave Amara for her rent in the city. Stopped. Next, I called my insurance company. I removed them for my health insurance plan. They were adults, they could get their own. Callista's car, the one I'd co-signed the loan for. I contacted the bank and explained I was revoking my co-signature. It took some doing, but it was possible.

They'd have to refinance it on their own, or sterling could co-sign. I had set up small emergency savings accounts for each of them years ago. I'd put a little in each month. I closed those accounts and moved the money back to my own savings. Then, I sent them both a text message. The same message to each. It was polite, clear. It said, I have received your decision regarding your family and future.

As you no longer consider me your father, I will no longer be providing for your adult lives. I wish you well. I blocked their numbers for a while after that. I needed space. I didn't hear anything directly. I suppose they were busy building their new lives with Sterling and Leona. A few months passed, I unblocked their numbers during that time. The silence from their end was total.

I just went to work, came home, tried to get used to the quiet. It wasn't easy. Every corner of the house held a memory. But I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Then, slowly, things started to change. Not for me, but for them, from what I gathered indirectly at first. Turns out Sterling wasn't as solid as he looked. His main business took a big hit.

Some deal fell through, I heard. The fancy connections he boasted about, the ones that were supposed to launch Amara's career after her internship, they didn't pan out. Her internship ended, and there was no full-time job offer. Callista's agency, the one Sterling connected her with, lost its biggest client. Her hours were cut, then cut again. Leona and Sterling, it seems, started pulling back. The emotional support, and more importantly for the girls, the financial support, began to dry up.

Suddenly, their different kind of future wasn't looking so bright. The calls and messages started about six months after my text. Just little things at first. Kalista sent a text, Hey, Dad, just checking in. Hope you're doing okay. No mention of anything, no apology. Just.

A feeler. Amara left a voicemail a week later, Hi, Dad, it's me. Was just thinking about you. Give me a call sometime if you want. I didn't reply to either of them. What was there to say? That's where I am now.

Asking to talk. After everything they said, everything they did. After choosing Sterling and Leona. After telling me I wasn't their father and that Sterling fit better. Now that Sterling's well is running dry, they're back. So, Wibta if I tell them there's nothing to talk about. What would you do? Update 1.

Wow. I didn't expect so many replies. Thank you all for taking the time to read my story and share your thoughts. A lot of you sent private messages too, and I appreciate that. It's helped to just lay it all out. Many of you asked for more details about Leona, and why the girls might have been so quick to believe her or go along with the plan. It's complicated, but Leona has a way of making people believe her, especially when she's emotional. When she's in a full-blown meltdown, she can be very convincing, twisting for her.

facts, playing the victim, making grand accusations. She's always been very entitled. If she wants something, she believed she deserves it, no matter the cost to others. I think Sterling, with his money and apparent success, was like a shiny new toy for her, and the girls were part of making that new life perfect. She probably painted me as the boring, stagnant past and Sterling as the exciting future. Some of you asked if Sterling was overtly malicious. I don't think he was a cackling villain, but he was an enabler for Leona, and he definitely saw an opportunity. The adoption thing, he likely spun it as being generous, a way to take care of Amara and Callista. He probably didn't think beyond the surface appeal.

He probably also underestimated how much I was actually doing for them and how much it would cost him if he truly had to take over. His suggestions about the paternity, the tax benefits, all about making it seem logical, practical for the girls. He helped Leona create the narrative that they were upgrading their family. A few people asked if the girls showed any remorse before things went bad with Sterling. The answer is no. Not a hint. Their calls and texts, when they started again, were casual, as if nothing major had happened. Like they were just testing the waters. No, I'm sorry, no we messed up. Just hate you. Dad. That told me a lot. Reading your comments and thinking it all over, I realized a few things.

Many of you said I owed them nothing. Many said I should at least hear them out, if only for my own closure, to see if they understood what they'd done. I wasn't sure about the closure part. I felt like their actions were closure enough. But then a week ago, they showed up at my house. unannounced. Just rang the doorbell on a Saturday morning. Both of them. They looked tired. Amara's eyes were red. Colista looked like she hadn't slept in days. Them showing up on my doorstep, looking like that. I decided I would hear what they had to say. So, when they stood there and Amara asked, Dad, can we talk? I didn't answer right away. I just looked at them. Amara looked down.

Calista was chewing her lip. I said, all right. Come in. You have ten minutes. That surprised them. They probably expected a fight or tears, or for me to slam the door. I led them into the living room. The same room where they told me Sterling fit better.

I didn't offer them a seat. I stood, and they stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Amara started. Dad, we. We messed up. Really badly. Colista nodded, her eyes watery. We were so stupid.

Amara continued, Mom. She was so convincing. And Sterling, he made everything sound so good. Like this amazing new life was waiting for us. She looked up at me. I think I wanted to believe it, Dad. I wanted to believe that things could be easy and exciting. A fresh start.

So, it was about a fresh start for me, from their actual life. Good to know. Colista then spoke, her voice cracking. I just wanted to feel like I was part of something. Successful. Sterling seemed so successful. Mom was so happy. I thought.

I thought maybe this was my chance to have that. She started to cry. Not loud sobbing, but tears running down her face. We didn't understand what we were throwing away. Not really. They talked a bit more. Excuses, mostly. How Leona had pressured them.

How Sterling had made promises. How they felt overwhelmed. How things with Leona and Sterling were terrible now. Leona was apparently making their lives hell. blaming them for not being grateful enough when Sterling's money started to tighten. Sterling was distant and uninterested in their problems. The shiny future had tarnished very quickly. I listened.

I didn't interrupt. I didn't offer Colistah a tissue. I didn't comfort them. I just listened, my face, I imagine, showing nothing. When they finally wound down, looking at me with hopeful, scared eyes, waiting for my response, I took a breath. This is what I told them. I kept my voice calm and even. So, let me see if I understand. Your mother, a person who abandoned you and broke her promises your entire childhood, told you I wasn't your father. Her new husband, a man you barely knew,

offered to adopt you to save on his taxes and make his new family look complete. And you both, my educated adult daughters, decided this was a good plan. They both flinched. I continued, you say you wanted a fresh start, Amara. A fresh start from what? From the father who worked 70 hours a week to give you everything? Calista, you wanted to be part of something successful. Was my life, my sacrifices for you, not a success in your eyes? Colista started to sob a bit louder. No, Dad, Dad, It's not. We didn't mean.

You didn't mean. I cut her off, still calm. What did you mean when you looked at legal proof of your paternity and dismissed it? What did you mean, Amara, when you told me Sterling fits better with your lives now? You were very clear then. Amara tried, Dad, please. We know we were wrong. We are so, so sorry.

Sorry isn't a magic word. I said. It doesn't undo choices. You made your choice. You chose them. You chose their story. You chose their practical reasons over decades of your actual life with me. You stood in this very room and, in no uncertain terms, disowned me as your father.

I paused. They were both crying now. Good. Let them cry. Their tears didn't move me. You came here today because your new, better life fell apart, I stated. Because Sterling's money is gone, and your mother is being herself. You didn't come here when you still thought Sterling was your ticket to Easy Street.

You came here because your safety net with them broke, and you're hoping your old safety net, me, is still here. I looked from one to the other. Well, here's my decision. You are correct. You threw something away. You threw away our relationship. You threw away my trust. You threw away any obligation I had to you as a father, because you willingly chose to believe I wasn't. When you walked out of this house after that conversation, you became, for all intents and purposes, Leona's daughters. Sterling stepdaughters. Not mine. So, your ten minutes are up. There is nothing for you here.

Not my time, not my money, not my help. Nothing. I pointed to the door. Go back to Leona and Sterling. You chose them. Live with that choice. Don't contact me again. We are done.

Amara looked like I'd slapped her. Dad, you can't mean that. We're your daughters. No, Amara, I said, you made it very clear you are not. I have the documents to prove you are biologically mine, but you, yourselves, rejected that. You rejected me. So, no, you are not my daughters in any way that matters anymore. Kalista just stood there, shaking, tears streaming down her face, unable to speak.

Amara opened her mouth, then closed it. She saw something in my eyes, I guess. She grabbed Kalista's arm, and they left. I watched them walk down the path, get into Callista's car, the one I used to help pay for, and drive away. I closed the door. I didn't feel sadness. I didn't feel anger anymore. I felt.

Quiet. Like a storm had finally passed, and the air was clear. It was a harsh thing to say, I know. But it was the truth, as I saw it. They burned the bridge. I just confirmed it was gone. I don't know what they'll do. And frankly, it's not my concern anymore. As many of you said, I need to live my own life now. Update 2. It's been about a year since my last update. Life has been. Different. After that last confrontation, I haven't heard a

single word from Amara or Callista. They took my words to heart, it seems. Or maybe Leona and Sterling have them on a tighter leash, or they've found some other solution to their problems. I don't know, and I haven't tried to find out. Some people might think that's cold. But I spent over two decades putting them first. Every decision, every extra shift, every sacrifice was for them. And when they had the chance, they chose to believe the worst, to chase a fantasy, and to discard me because I wasn't shiny enough for their ambitions. The well of my fatherly feeling for them ran dry the day they showed me the paternity papers didn't matter.

What I said to them in our last meeting was just me verbalizing what they had already done. My daily life is simple. I go to work at the plant. I still wear my old jeans. My house is still small, it's peaceful. No more drama. No more worrying about their tuition, their car payments, their emergency funds. No more wondering if they're okay, only to be met with distance or demands.

I don't know what's happened with Leona and Sterling. I don't ask, and no one tells me. They live in a different city, and our paths don't cross. I imagine Leona is still Leona. People like her don't change much. Sterling, well, he learned that bailing out Leona and trying to buy a ready-made family isn't as easy as it looks. So, that's it. That's the end of the story, I suppose.

There's no big dramatic finish. They're gone from my life, and I'm moving on with mine. I'm doing well. Thank you to everyone who listened and offered their thoughts. It helped, knowing I wasn't just shouting into the void. I hope you enjoy this story. Called off our marriage after my spouse's relatives made fun of my kind-hearted parent who had allowed them to reside in our home without paying rent. Subsequently, she took my mother's valuable

bracelet, sold it to a second-hand store, and received our, stead for theft. I'm a 32-year-old guy. The events I'm about to describe started about three months ago. The main people involved are myself, my now ex-fiancee, she was 29 at the time, and her parents, my ex-future in-laws. The other significant person, though she's passed, is my mother. My mother died four years ago from a particularly aggressive form of cancer. It was a devastating time. She was a kind, generous woman, the type who would go out of her way for anyone. This is relevant because she once significantly helped my ex-future in-laws.

About ten years ago, my ex-future father-in-law's business failed, and they lost almost everything, facing actually. homelessness. My mother, who had a small rental property she inherited, let them live their rent free for over a year until they got back on their feet. She never asked for anything in return, just did it because that's who she was. My ex-fiance and I had been together for three years before we got engaged. I have known her for much longer obviously through my mother and there were small things, moments I probably dismissed. My ex-fiance could be very charming, and when it was just us, things were mostly good. But around her parents, she often became different, more deferential to them, quicker to agree with their often-pointed opinions. Her parents,

my ex-future-in-laws, always had an air of arrogance. They enjoyed their regained financial status, and often made it known. I tolerated their attitude for my ex-fiancey's sake, believing our relationship was strong enough. The engagement happened, and my ex-fiancee, was ecstatic. We started planning the wedding, and almost immediately, her parents insisted on hosting an engagement party at their large home. They took over the planning completely. My ex-fiancee seemed to think this was normal. But I had reservations. During the planning calls, my ex-future mother-in-law would make these little comments about my job, or my family background. My ex-future father-in-law would usually just chuckle along. My ex-fiance would usually say, oh, mom, don't be like that,

but without any real force. I tried to suggest a smaller venue for the party, but my ex-fiance said her parents had their heart set on it and that it would be a slight to refuse. I let it go, telling myself it was just one evening. The guest list was heavily skewed towards their friends and business associates, people I barely knew. My own guest list was small, mostly a few close friends and some extended family. The week before the party, my ex-fiance was particularly stressed. Her mother kept changing details, adding demands. My ex-fiance took it out on me a few times, sure-tempered, easily irritated.

Once, when I mentioned I would have loved to be part of the wedding planning, my ex-fiance made a comment about how it was probably for the best, as I had very traditional tastes and might have clashed with her mother's more modern vision. It was an odd, slightly cold remark, but I brushed it off as stress. The night of the engagement party arrived. My ex-future-in-law's house was extravagantly decorated. I felt like an observer in my own life. My ex-fiancee was in her element, flitting between guests, beaming.

Her parents were holding court, clearly enjoying the display. About two hours into the party, my ex-future father-in-law decided it was time for speeches. He started, talking about my ex-fiance, then about me, making some generic comments. Then, he looked at me with a smirk and said, you know, my wife and I were just reminiscing the other day about your mother. She was quite the character. Always had an opinion on everything. Bit of a busybody, if you recall. That time she helped us out.

Well, she certainly made sure everyone knew she was playing the saint. I froze. My blood ran cold. My ex-future mother-in-law, standing next to him, laughed, Oh, absolutely, dear, she chimed in. She was always a bit. Much. Acting like she was so much better than everyone,

even when she was just poking her nose into other people's business. So generous, she said the word generous with such a sarcastic. sarcastic sneer it felt like a slap. My ex-fiance was standing beside them, a fixed smile on her face. She glanced at me, then quickly looked away. She said nothing. Not a single word to defend my mother, the woman who had kept a roof over her parents' heads. The room had gone quiet. All eyes were on me. I could feel the heat rise in my face. The memory of my mother, weak and frail in her final months, juxtaposed with their cruel, dismissive words, was too much. I looked at my ex-future father-in-law, then my ex-future mother-in-law, then at my ex-fiance

who was still just standing there, smiling faintly as if nothing offensive had just occurred. I stood up. My voice was surprisingly steady. Thank you for hosting this event. And thank you, to my ex-fiancee, for showing me who you truly are tonight. I looked around at the assembled guests, many of whom looked uncomfortable or shocked. The wedding, is officially cancelled. We will not be proceeding with this engagement. Then, I turned and walked out of their house.

I didn't look back at my ex-fiancee, didn't wait for a reaction. I just left. I could hear a sudden burst of murmuring in commotion behind me as I reached the door. I drove home in a daze. My apartment felt cold and empty. The reality of what I'd just done started to sink in, but there was no regret, just a sense of disgust at what had happened. My phone started blowing up almost immediately. Dozens of missed calls from my ex-fiancee, texts ranging from confused, what happened?

Where did you go? Too angry, how could you embarrass me like this? Then calls from her parents, which I ignored. A couple of hours later, there was frantic banging on my apartment door. It was my ex-fiancee. I didn't open it at first, but her cries and shouts of, please, let me in. We need to talk. We're disturbing the neighbors. I let her in.

The moment she was inside, she started alternating between tears and accusations. How could you do that to me? To my parents? In front of all those people. I asked her, how could you stand there and let them mock my dead mother? The mother who helped them when they had nothing. Her response was, they were just joking. It was a bit inappropriate.

Okay, I get that. But you overreacted. You always take things too seriously, especially about your mom. She claimed they were old-fashioned and didn't mean it like that. She said I had humiliated her and ruined everything. The argument went in circles for over an hour. She didn't understand why I was so upset that she hadn't defended my mother. Her focus was entirely on how my actions had affected her and her parents' reputation.

Eventually, exhausted and seeing we were getting nowhere, I told her to leave. She refused, started crying hysterically, then threw a vase against the wall. It shattered. That was when I told her if she didn't leave, I would call the police to rest. remove her. She stared at me, her face with rage and disbelief, then stormed out. The next few days were a blur of informing my side of the guest list about the cancellation, dealing with vendors, and trying to process it all. My ex-fiancee continued to bombard me with messages, sometimes pleading, sometimes abusive. Her parents sent a few haughty texts

demanding an apology for me for the public disrespect I had shown them. I blocked all their numbers. About a week after the disastrous engagement party, I was trying to sort through things, both physical and emotional. I had a box of my mother's jewelry that I kept in a safe. These weren't just valuable items, they were pieces passed down through generations, each with a story, each a tangible link to my mother and her mother before her. I opened the safe to look at them, specifically for my mother's favorite gold bracelet. It was a unique, antique piece. It wasn't there. Panic set in.

I searched everywhere, thinking I might have misplaced it. But I knew I hadn't. The last time I'd seen it was a few months ago when I showed it to my ex-fiancee. She had admired it then, commented on how beautiful it was. She had access to my apartment, she still had a key, which I hadn't yet thought to retrieve in all the chaos. I immediately drove to her apartment. I didn't call first, I knew she'd deny it or hide it. She was surprised to see me, her expression quickly turning wary.

I asked her directly, where is my mother's gold bracelet? The one for my safe. She feigned ignorance at first. What are you talking about? I haven't been to your apartment in days. I pressed her. Don't lie to me. It's gone.

You are the only other person who me. knew where it was and had access. She crossed her arms. Okay, fine. I have it. So what? I was stunned, so what? It's my mother's. It's a priceless family heirloom. I want it back. Now. Then came the words that truly showed me the person I had almost married. Why should I give it back? She said, her voice cold and defiant. I thought it was going to be mine anyway once we were married. It's a beautiful bracelet, and I deserve something for all this trouble. I stared at her, speechless for a moment. You deserve something? For what? For starters, she sneered, for putting up with your endless grief about your mother for the past three years. It's been exhausting. You're always so

mopey about her. I deserve some compensation. That was it. I told her if she didn't return the bracelet immediately, I would call the police and report it stolen. She laughed. You wouldn't dare. Don't be so dramatic. It's just a bracelet. Then her expression shifted, becoming almost unhinged. You ruined my life, embarrassed me in front of everyone. I'm keeping it. It's the The least you owe me." She started to get agitated, pacing her small living room. You think you can just walk away and make me look like a fool. This bracelet is mine now.

I looked at her, at the stranger she had become, or perhaps always was beneath the surface. I took out my phone, and she asked, what are you doing? I'm calling the police, I told her. I warned you. Her face paled, then flushed with anger. wouldn't. You'll regret this. You'll destroy any chance we ever had. There is no we, I said, and I dialed 911. She started screaming then, of abuse and threats, calling me names, saying I was crazy, a monster. She lunged for my phone at one point, her nail scratching my hand as I

pulled it away. I calmly gave the dispatcher my location and a brief summary. A theft had occurred, the suspected thief was present with me, had admitted to taking the item, but was refusing to return it and was becoming aggressive. The wait for the police felt like an eternity, with my ex-fiance alternating between screaming at me, pacing her apartment like a caged animal, and making frantic, whispered calls, presumably to her parents. When two uniformed officers finally knocked, her demeanor shifted instantly. The moment they announced themselves, She burst into tears, rushing to the door and practically flinging it open. Officers, thank God you're here, she cried, pointing a shaking finger at me.

This man, my ex-fiancee, he's been harassing me. He broke into my apartment, he's threatening me. He's trying to ruin my life because I called off our wedding. The officers were professional. One officer calmly asked my ex-fiancee to step back and let them enter. The officer asked what the disturbance was about. Before my ex-fiance could launch into another tirade, I spoke. Officer, I called you.

This woman, my ex-fiance, I indicated her, stole a valuable family heirloom from my apartment a few days ago, a gold bracelet belonging to my late mother. I came here to retrieve it. She admitted to taking it but refuses to return it, and she just assaulted me when I called for assistance. I showed the officer scratches on my hand. My ex-fiancee shrieked, he's lying. It was a gift. He gave it to me. Now he wants it back to be cruel.

She was clutching her chest, hyperventilating. He's obsessed and vindictive because I couldn't stand being with him anymore. The female officer began speaking to my ex-fiancee, trying to calm her down, asking her to explain her side slowly. The taller officer turned to me. Sir, can you describe the item and its value? I described my mother's bracelet in detail, mentioned its significant monetary and immense sentimental value, and explained that it was an antique, passed down through generations.

I told him I had proof of ownership and its appraisal. Meanwhile, the female officer was trying to get a coherent story from my ex-fiancee, who was now sobbing about how I was twisting everything and how the bracelet was a token of my love. After a few minutes, the taller officer asked my ex-fiance directly, ma'am, do you have the bracelet this gentleman is describing? My ex-fiancee hesitated, yes, I have it, she finally said, her voice suddenly defiant. Like I said, he gave it to me. It's mine. He can't just decide he wants it back because he's having a tantrum. And where is the bracelet now, ma'am? The taller officer asked. Another hesitation.

It's safe, she said evasively. It's not here right now. I put it away for safekeeping because he's been acting so erratically. I was afraid he'd try to take it. This was a new lie, I could tell. Her eyes couldn't meet mine or the officers. The officers exchanged a look. The taller officer told me, sir, given the conflicting stories and the value of the item you're describing,

this isn't something we can resolve entirely on the spot. We will need to take formal statements from both of you. Since this woman admits to having taken possession of the bracelet, but claims it was a gift, and you claim it was stolen, we will be opening an investigation into alleged theft. He then turned to my ex-fiancee. Ma'am, making a false police report is a serious offense, as is theft. We will need your full cooperation.

You will be contacted by you. by a detective. He handed us both a card with a case number on it. My ex-fiancee stared at it as if it were a snake. The officers documented the scratches on my hand and took down my details for the formal statement. They cautioned my ex-fiance about any further contact or harassment towards me. The entire scene at her apartment was tense and ugly. It was clear the police were taking my claim seriously, but also that this was just the beginning of a process. They didn't arrest her then, as the immediate possession wasn't confirmed and she'd manufactured a, weak, counter-narrative about it being a gift and not currently on the premises.

I don't know what to do anymore, update one, thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. I've read every single response. The overwhelming consensus seems to be that I am NTA, not the asshole, and that calling the police was a justified action. Your support and clarity have been helpful during this incredibly difficult period. A few common questions came up, so I want to clarify some points. Many of you asked for more detail about my mother's help to my ex-future in-laws. It wasn't just a small loan. My ex-future father-in-law's business went bankrupt, and they were evicted from their home.

They had two young children at the time, my ex-fiancee was a teenager, she had an older brother too. My mother owned a small, three-bedroom house in a decent neighborhood that she inherited from her parents. She had been renting it out. She moved her tenants, amicably, with plenty of notice and helped finding a new place, and let my ex-future in-laws live in that house, rent-free, for nearly 18 months. She also helped my ex-future father-in-law with networking to find a new job, using her own professional contacts. They never paid her back a penny for the lost rental income or the use of the house, and she never asked them to. She said helping a family in crisis was its own reward. Knowing this makes their comments at the engagement party even more galling.

Several people wondered why I didn't see the red flags with my ex-fiance or her parents sooner. It's a fair question. I think, like many people in relationships, I focused on the good. My ex-fiance, away from her parents, could be kind, funny, and loving. I saw her parents' arrogance as their issue, not hers, and hoped she would grow out of their influence. I also believe I was, perhaps, too forgiving, too willing to make excuses for her because I loved her and wanted the relationship to work. My mother's illness and passing were very hard on me, and my ex-fiancee was supportive during the initial period of grief. However, in retrospect, her support was often superficial.

She'd say the right words, but there were instances where she showed impatience. Now, they paint a clearer picture. Regarding the bracelet itself, it's an 18th century gold piece, with small diamonds and sapphires. It's been in my mother's maternal family for generations. Its monetary value is significant, yes, appraised a few years ago for insurance at around $25,000. But the sentimental value is immeasurable. It's one of the few things I have that my mother wore regularly. Reading your comments solidified my resolve. My ex-fiancee's statement about putting up with my grief and therefore deserving the bracelet was the point of no return. It wasn't just the

theft, it was the absolute coldness and the rewriting of our history together to paint herself as a victim and me as a burden. After my initial call to the police when I confronted my ex-fiancee at her apartment, I went to the station the next day and filed another formal police report for theft. I provided the officer in charge, with all the details, a description of the bracelet, its appraised value, photographs of my mother wearing it, and a copy of the insurance appraisal which listed it under my mother's name and then mine as inherited property. I also gave a statement about the circumstances of the theft, including my ex-fiancee's admission

that she had it and her refusal to return it. The police formally contacted my ex-fiancee. They didn't just take her word for it that it was a gift. The evidence I provided clearly showed it was an heirloom. My ex-fiancee's reaction to formal police involvement, as you can imagine, was explosive. She called me from a blocked number, but it didn't go through. My ex-future in-law is also attempted to intervene, but not in a constructive way. My ex-future father-in-law called the officer and apparently tried to suggest this was all a lover's quarrel and that I was unstable and vindictive because of the cancelled wedding.

According to the officer, my ex-future father-in-law was rather condescending and demanding, which did not help my ex-fiancease case at all. My ex-future mother-in-law apparently tried to call me multiple times, leaving voicemails that were a mix of, famed concern and veiled threats about my future prospects if I continued this persecution of her daughter. The police went to my ex-fiance's apartment with a warrant to retrieve the bracelet. This is where things took another dark turn. My ex-fiance initially denied having it there, then claimed she'd given it to a friend for safekeeping, a lie, and a contradiction. After pressing from the officers, under threat of being arrested for obstructing justice and for the theft itself, she finally admitted what she'd done.

She had taken the bracelet to a pawn shop a few days after taking it from my safe and sold it. She claimed she needed the money because she was distraught and needed to get away. This was a lie, of course, she had a well-paying job. She simply wanted to hurt me and profit from her theft. The police were understandably, furious at this development. Selling stolen goods is a more serious offence. They managed to track down the pawn shop. The owner remembered my ex-fiancee and the bracelet.

He had already sold it on to a private collector who specialized in antique jewelry. So, the bracelet is not back in my possession. The police are now treating this as a felony theft and dealing in stolen property. My ex-fiancee was arrested, processed, and charged. She was released on bail, paid by her parents. The situation is now far more serious than just getting a piece of jewelry back. My ex-fiancee has crossed a line into significant criminal behavior, all stemming from that initial, disgusting display at the engagement party. There's no both sides to this.

Her actions have been consistently destructive and malicious. Update 2 Hello everyone. It's been about five months since my last update, and a lot has transpired. I figured I owed one final chapter to those who followed this story and offered their input. As mentioned, it's been a little over five months since my ex-fiancee was arrested and charged. The legal process, as many of you warned, is incredibly slow and frustrating. My ex-fiance's initial reaction to being charged was, predictably, unhinged.

Through her lawyer, she initially tried to plead not guilty, with her defense strategy apparently being that I had given her the bracelet as a gift and then, in a fit of peak after the engagement was called off, falsely accused her of theft. This was, of course, easily disproven by my evidence, including the insurance documents and photographs, and the timeline of events. There was no occasion where such a gift would have been made or made sense. My ex-future-in-laws have been bankrolling her legal defense. They've spared no expense, hiring an attorney in our city. Their public stance, from what I've heard through the grapevine, as I have zero contact with them, is that their daughter is the victim of a vindictive ex-fiance and a misunderstanding. They've apparently been trying to salvage her reputation amongst their social circle, though with limited success once the word of her arrest and the nature of the charges began to spread.

My ex-fiance herself has become increasingly erratic. I've had to take out a restraining order against her. After her arrest, she violated the initial conditions of her bail, which included no contact with me, multiple times. This included, leaving dozens of rambling, abusive, and sometimes tearful voicemails from burner phones. Sending emails from newly created accounts with similar content. Driving past my apartment building at odd hours, which my doorman noted and reported to me. She even approached one of my close friends, launching into a tirade of her. me, accusing my friend of taking the side of an abuser. My friend was quite shaken and reported

the incident to the police, which helped solidify my case for the restraining order. There was one particularly disturbing incident. About two months ago, I came home to find the word liar keyed deeply into the driver's side door of my car. There was no direct proof it was my ex-fiance, but given the ongoing harassment and the timing, it was a day after a pre-trial hearing that apparently didn't go well for her, the police strongly suspected her. However, without a witness or camera footage, they couldn't charge her for it. The stress from this entire ordeal has been immense. It's affected my sleep, my ability to concentrate at work. I haven't dated or even thought about another relationship. The sense of betrayal cut very deep. The biggest development is

regarding the legal case and the bracelet itself. The police, through the records from the pawn shop and subsequent investigation, managed to trace the bracelet to a private collector. It was a complicated situation, as the collector had purchased it from the pawn shop without knowledge of its origins. After being contacted by the authorities and informed that the item was verified as stolen property belonging to me, a formal legal process began to recover it. stolen property, regardless of subsequent transactions, legally remains the property of the original owner. Eventually, the bracelet was retrieved by the police. It was held as evidence for a period. I was informed that the collector, while an innocent party in the transaction itself, was understandably

seeking to recover their financial loss. The prosecutor's office assured me, and the collector, that they would be pursuing full restitution from my ex-fiancee as, part of her sentencing. This means the court would order her to repay the collector the amount they had paid to the pawn shop. It was a relief to know the system aimed to make all innocent parties whole, though the primary burden for that would fall squarely on my ex-fiance. I finally got the bracelet back last month, after it was officially released from evidence. Holding it again was an odd experience. It's still beautiful, but it feels tainted by what she did. There's a small scratch on one of the gold links near the clasp that wasn't there before,

likely from rough handling at the pawn shop or by her. Faced with the overwhelming evidence against her, including the recovery of the bracelet and her admissions, my ex-fiancee's lawyer advised her to change her plea. Last week, my ex-fiancee pleaded guilty to felony theft and dealing in stolen property. Her sentencing is scheduled for next month. Her lawyer is arguing for no jail to. time, citing her previous good character, which is laughable, and the emotional distress she was under. The prosecutor is pushing for a stricter sentence, including some jail time, restitution

for the cost of the investigation, and a long probation period. My ex-fiancee had a complete breakdown in court when she entered her guilty plea. It was a theatrical, sobbing, self-pitying display. She wailed about how her life was ruined, how she never meant for any of this to and how I was cruel and unforgiving. It was all about her. There was still no apology, no acknowledgement of the pain she caused, or the malice behind mocking my mother or stealing a cherished heirloom. Her parents were in the courtroom, my ex-future mother-in-law also weeping dramatically,

my ex-future father-in-law looking grim and furious. I've also learned through mutual acquaintances that my ex-fiancee's life has indeed deteriorated, largely by her own actions. She lost her job due to the ongoing legal issues and her erratic behavior. Many of her former friends have distanced themselves. The perfect life she and her parents were so keen to project has crumbled. So, that's where things stand. My ex-fiancee is a convicted felon awaiting sentencing.

I have my mother's bracelet back, albeit with a new, unwelcome memory attached to it. Thank you to this subreddit for being a place where I could share this without judgment when it all first blew up. I hope you enjoy this story. Celine, who constantly labeled me as destitute, unexpectedly appeared at our residence requesting $20,000 following her affluent spouse's departure, and subsequently damaged my spouse's gown by accidentally spilling wine on it. Wife's sister Nora has been more than just a thorn in our side, she's been a full-blown hurricane of drama since day one. And just when I thought we'd weather the worst of her storms, she's back with a vengeance, trying to make our lives even more miserable than before.

Let me give you some background. My wife and I first crossed paths during our college years. Our backgrounds couldn't have been more different. She comes from what you'd call an upper middle class family, comfortable homes, regular vacations, and never having to worry about whether the electricity would stay on. Me? I grew up on the other end of the spectrum. To put it bluntly, I had next to nothing as a kid.

Both my parents worked themselves to the bone, day in and day out, but we were still barely keeping our heads above water. And then they kept having more kids. I love my siblings, don't get me wrong, but every new baby just stretched our already paper-thin resources even further. Poverty wasn't just something that happened to my family occasionally, it was the air we breathed, the water we swam in. At our lowest point, we even found ourselves homeless for a while. Let me tell you, that's an experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Not even on Nora,

and that's saying something. Looking back now, I can see that my parents really did try their hardest with what little they had. They sacrificed everything they could for us kids, which is why I don't harbor any bitterness toward them about our situation. But as I got older and started to understand the world better, I made a promise to myself, I wasn't going to continue living in that cycle of poverty. I wasn't going to let that be my entire story. So I buried myself in books. I studied until my eyes burned. I worked odd jobs whenever I could find them. I did everything humanly possible to change the trajectory of my life. Then came the day that changed everything, I earned a scholarship to college. When that accepted,

letter arrived, I grabbed the opportunity with both hands. This was my ticket out, my one shot at building a different life. But my family? They were livid. In their eyes, I was abandoning ship when they needed all hands on deck. My parents and siblings accused me of turning my back on them, of shirking my family duties. Their anger stung, but it didn't stop me. Deep down, I knew this was the right move for me, even if they couldn't see it yet. The day I met my wife in the college cafeteria, I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. She was stunning, not just her looks, though those were enough to make any guy do a double take, but everything about her. Her intelligence, her kindness, the way she made everyone around her feel special. But I immediately put her in the

way out of my league category. In my head, a woman like her deserves someone who could give her the moon and stars, someone from a stable family who could pamper her and give her the kind of comfortable life she was used to. And that definitely wasn't me. But life has a funny way of surprising you. She asked me out. I still remember the shock when she approached me after class one day and suggested we grab coffee sometime. From that very first date, the chemistry between us was undeniable, like we'd known each other in some past life or something. When I finally admitted to myself that I was head over heels in love with this woman, I made a promise, to her and to myself. I swore that I would work harder than I'd ever worked before to build a good

life for us. I promised that no matter what it took, I'd make sure she had everything she deserved. And I've lived by those words every single day since. Of course, the path wasn't all smooth sailing, especially when it came to her family. Her dad was a gem of a man right from the start. He saw past my rough edges and modest background, and he supported our relationship from day one. But her mother? That's a whole different story. From the moment we met, my mother-in-law made it crystal clear that she thought I was beneath her daughter. It didn't matter what I achieved or how hard I tried to impress her, in her eyes, would never be good enough for her precious girl.

And then there was Nora, the Queen Bee of passive-aggressive comments and not-so-s subtle digs. I'll never forget the first time I met her and her mother. They didn't even try to hide their disdain for me. They openly mocked my background, calling me poor right to my face as if it was some kind of joke. Nora was particularly vicious. She actually had the nerve to warn my wife about me, suggesting that I might try to baby trap her just to get my hands on their family money. Can you believe that? As if I was some kind of gold-digging con artist.

It was one of the most humiliating things I've ever experienced, making me feel like I was somehow less than human in their eyes. Every time her mother or Nora would make one of their snide remarks, my wife would stand up for me immediately. She wasn't subtle about it either. She'd look them dead in the eye and tell them to knock it off, making it abundantly clear that she wouldn't tolerate anyone speaking about me that way, family, or not. But despite her fierce defense of me, their words.

still cut deep. Knowing that her family saw me as some kind of inferior species was a wound that took a long time to heal. After graduation, luck finally started turning my way when I landed a solid job with good pay and room for growth. My wife and I decided it was time to take the next step, so we moved and together. From day one of living together, I was determined to take care of her in every possible way. Being able to support her financially felt like I'd finally achieved something meaningful. I insisted on covering all our daily expenses myself, and whatever money she earned went straight into our savings account for our future plans. I work my fingers to the bone, often putting in long hours at the office, all to ensure she never went without anything she

wanted or needed. After two wonderful years of living together, I felt the time was right to pop the question. When she said yes, I swear I could have floated off the ground. I'd never been happier in my entire life. But, as you might have guessed, not everyone was popping champagne over our engagement. My mother-in-law and Nora looked like they'd been sucking on lemons when we broke the news. Nora, ever the diplomat, told my wife repeatedly that marrying me would be the biggest mistake of her life. One particular comment of hers has stuck with me all these years. She looked my wife straight in the face and said, people who come from nothing don't really amount to anything. I still remember those words verbatim, they cut that deep. My mother-in-law wasn't any better.

She made sure to inform my wife that if we ever ran into money troubles after getting married, we shouldn't even think about coming to her for help. It was like she was trying to paint this doomsday scenario where I'd inevitably drag her daughter down into financial ruin. Thank goodness my wife never wavered for a second. She trusted me completely, believed in our future together, and we went ahead with the wedding despite all their doom and gloom predictions. Fast forward eight incredible years, and I can honestly say we've never been happier. Our life together has been filled with love, personal growth, and shared victories. All that blood, sweat, and tears I poured into building us a stable and successful future has

really paid off. Just recently, I hit one of the biggest milestones in my career when I was promoted to a senior position at the company I've been with for years. Since my wife and I decided early on that kids weren't in the cards for us, we've managed to save quite a bit over the years. Two years back, we bought our dream home, a beautiful place with plenty of room and even a swimming pool in the backyard. Take that, childhood poverty. Last year, I surprised my wife with a brand new car she'd been eyeing for months. We even take regular vacations now, something I couldn't have imagined doing as a kid. I can say without a hint of arrogance that I've made something of myself. I've built an amazing life with a woman I adore,

and I couldn't be prouder of what we've accomplished together. You'd think that by now, my mother-in-law and Nora would have eaten their words. You'd think they'd look at the life my wife and I have created and realize how wrong they were about me. Surely there can't be any reason left for them to complain, right? Wrong again. Even after everything I've achieved and everything I've done for my wife, they still find ways to reign on our parade. The real kicker is that Nora, for all her high and mighty attitude, hasn't exactly been thriving lately. Five years ago, she got hitched to a boyfriend who, like her, came for money. Their wedding was the definition of excess, obscenely expensive venue, over-the-top decorations. Everything's

screamed, look how rich we are. During that wedding, Nora couldn't resist taking shots at my wife. She constantly made little digs, mocking her for not marrying into wealth like she had. Norah bragged nonstop about how her life was going to be so much better than my wife simply because her husband had deep pockets. After the wedding, Nora basically cut my wife out of her life entirely. She claimed she was embarrassed to be associated with people like us, saying we just didn't fit into her fancy new world. According to her, we weren't wealthy enough, refined enough, or important enough to be part of the image she was trying to project. Nora started hanging out exclusively with friends who matched her lifestyle, shallow people who, like her, seemed to measure

a person's worth by the size of their bank account or the label on their clothes. And to twist the knife even further, my mother-in-law sided with Nora and started excluding my wife and me from family gatherings. Nora was clearly the golden child, and mother and daughter were practically carbon copies of each other in terms of values and attitudes. Well, karma has a way of catching up with people, doesn't it? This year, we found out that Nora's perfect, wealthy husband had been cheating on her for quite some time.

She'd been growing suspicious of his increasingly strange behavior, and one day she caught him red-handed in a hotel with another woman who was considerably younger than her. her. Nora apparently caused quite the scene, screaming, crying, demanding explanations. But her husband didn't even bother denying it. Instead, he coldly told her he was done with the marriage and promptly kicked her out of their house. To make matters worse for poor Nora, excuse me while I play the world's smallest violin, she had signed a pre-up before their wedding that didn't include any clause about infidelity. Because of that one document, she was left with absolutely nothing. Her ex-husband cancelled all her credit cards, took back the car he'd given her,

and cut her off completely. Just like that, her lavish lifestyle evaporated into thin air. But the fallout didn't end there. With her access to wealth suddenly revoked, Nora quickly discovered just how fair weather her friends really were. That glamorous social circle she'd been so proud to be part of. They dropped her like a hot potato as soon as she couldn't keep up appearance. is. Overnight, she went from being the Queen Bee to a complete outcast. Now she's back living with her parents, tail between her legs. And wouldn't you know it, she suddenly decided she wants to reconnect with my wife. Funny how the same person who once looked down her nose at us and was too embarrassed to be seen in public with us is now desperate to rebuild bridges. Norah's

been blowing up my wife's phone with calls and texts, acting like she genuinely wants to repair their relationship. I've been completely up front with my wife about my concerns, in my book, Nora is nothing but a bitch. She's manipulative to the core and clearly looking for an opportunity to drag us down to her level. This week, I sent out invitations for a big celebration marking my wife's and my upcoming wedding anniversary. With my recent promotion, I decided to go all out and plan something truly memorable. I booked a stunning venue, hired a top-notch caterer, and even brought on an event planner to make sure everything was perfect. This was my chance to finally give my wife the kind of celebration she deserves,

one I've always dreamed of giving her. When we got married, we couldn't afford anything fancy. It's something I've always felt a bit guilty about, even though my wife has never once complained or made me feel bad about it. But now, with our lives more stable and my career at its peak, I felt it was high time to give her the kind of party she deserved. But as soon as my mother-in-law and Nora got their invitations and saw what we had planned, the complaints started rolling in like clockwork.

My mother-in-law called my wife first, insisting that this wasn't an appropriate time for us to throw such a lavish party. According to her, it was insensitive to celebrate on such a grand scale when poor Nora was still reeling from her divorce. She even suggested we postponed the entire thing until next year, when presumably Nora's wounds wouldn't be so fresh. Give me a break. Nora also jumped on the guilt train, accusing us of deliberately trying to flaunt our happiness and wealth in her face while she was going through so much. She claimed our decision to celebrate in style was unnecessary and hurtful given that she'd lost her marriage just months ago.

My wife, didn't mince words. She told them straight up that our anniversary celebration had absolutely nothing to do with them. She made it crystal clear that if they felt too offended or uncomfortable to attend, they were more than welcome to stay home. But predictably, her directness only fueled their outrage. Now Nora's been leaving voicemails on my phone, accusing me of intentionally trying to spite her by showing off. She keeps saying I should at least compromise by keeping the event low-key out of respect for her current difficulties. Honestly, I find her attitude both frustrating and ridiculous. This celebration isn't about her, it's about my wife and me, our journey together, and everything we've worked so

hard to achieve. It's mind-boggling how Nora can somehow make our happiness all about her misfortune, and how my mother-in-law, who should be happy for her own daughter, chooses instead to enable Nora's childish behavior. So Reddit, am I wrong for celebrating our wedding anniversary. Update 1, I have to say, all your ideas about how to handle my mother-in-law and sister-in-law have really made me laugh out loud. I even showed my wife all the comments, and she agrees with most of them. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are professional drama queens. They have this amazing talent for making everything about themselves, even though our wedding celebration literally has nothing to do with them. Some of you have suggested uninviting them,

and honestly, I wish I could snap my fingers and make that happen. But uninviting them would just create an even bigger drama tornado. My father-in-law would inevitably back out in solidarity, and then my wife's grandparents might start taking sides too. My wife doesn't want that kind of family civil war. Truthfully, all I want is for this event to go smoothly. I want the focus to be on me and my wife, where it belongs. More than anything, I want to be on me.

her to be happy, and despite everything, I know having her family around matters to her. Well, this week, my wife and I finally had our anniversary party. Everything was going perfectly according to plan. The atmosphere was electric, the food was incredible, and all our guests seemed to be having a wonderful time. Most importantly, my wife was absolutely glowing with happiness. She wore this stunning pink dress that truly made her stand out in the crowd. This wasn't just any dress, she had spotted it in a store months earlier but decided against buying it because she thought the price tag was too steep. What she didn't know was that I'd secretly gone back and purchased it as a surprise for her. When I gave it to her a few days before the party, her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Throughout the evening, she received endless compliments about how beautiful she looked. She was positively beaming, her joy evident to everyone around her. Seeing her so happy warmed my heart. It was exactly what I'd hoped for when planning this whole celebration. But of course, Nora couldn't let us have one perfect night. At some point during the evening, Nora approached my wife with a glass of red wine in hand. As she got close, she accidentally spilled the entire glass all over my wife's beautiful pink dress. Everyone nearby gasped in horror.

That gorgeous dress, the one my wife's one my wife's, wife was so thrilled to wear, was completely ruined in an instant. I rushed to her side, frantically grabbing napkins to try and blot the stain, but it was hopeless. My wife looked absolutely devastated. Meanwhile, Nora didn't even offer a genuine apology or show any real remorse. Instead, she acted like it was just a harmless accident, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was completely deliberate. Her actions seemed calculated, like a twisted way of to steal the spotlight for my wife on what was supposed to be her special night. My wife, understandably upset, raised her voice at Nora for being so careless,

but Nora somehow managed to flip the script and try to blame my wife, insisting the spill was just an accident and that my wife was overreacting. Some of my wife's cousins who witnessed the whole thing quickly jumped in, telling Nora that she should apologize properly instead of getting defensive. This only seemed to fuel Nora's anger, and her behavior, became even more entitled and combative. My wife pointed out that the wine stain wasn't coming out and that her beautiful dress was now completely ruined.

However, Nora, in a pathetic attempt to brush off the entire situation, casually remarked that even if the dress was ruined, we could easily afford to buy another one if we wanted to. She had the nerve to tell my wife to stop crying and not cause any more drama. At that point, I'd had enough of Nora's complete lack of accountability. I told her straight out that she had absolutely no right to speak to my wife that way. And I made it clear that I wasn't about to pay for another dress, if anyone should be responsible for replacing it, it was her. She had ruined it, so it was only fair that she should pay for it.

Nora scoffed at my suggestion, clearly offended that I would dare call her out so directly. My wife backed me up completely. She told Nora that her refusal to apologize clearly showed the spirit. was no accident. She pointed out how ridiculous it was for Nora to suggest that we should just go by another dress instead of her taking responsibility for her actions. Nora, stubborn as ever, tried to justify her behavior, but then mother-in-law came rushing to her precious daughter's defense like a mama bear protecting her cup. Mother-in-law started yelling at us, claiming we were being petty by asking Nora to apologize when she hadn't even done anything that's serious.

She scoffed and accused my wife of trying to unnecessarily humiliate her sister. My wife calmly told her mother that she was willing to drop the whole issue if Nora would just apologize sincerely, but true to form, Nora flat out refused. By this point, I was completely fed up. I had tried to be civil, tried to reason with them, but the situation was spiraling out of control. I couldn't stand watching them turn our celebration into a showcase of childish behavior. My patience had officially run out, and I turned to Nora and said firmly, I'll be sending you the bill for the dress.

If you don't pay it, I'll take you the small claims court. I wasn't playing around anymore. That's when my mother-in-law jumped back in, continuing to defend her daughter. She had the audacity to say that the dress was too expensive for Nora to possibly pay for, as if that somehow excused what had happened. I told my mother-in-law in no uncertain terms to shut her mouth and stop enabling Nora's irresponsible behavior. I then asked both my mother-in-law and sister-in-law to leave the party immediately. I told them they were ruining the atmosphere for everyone else and embarrassing themselves in the process. At this point, my father-in-law, mother-in-law, and Nora all stormed out in a huff. My father-in-law had to leave with them since he was their ride.

I watched them leave, and only after they were gone did I feel a sense of relief wash over me. After the party, I expected there might be some fallout, but what surprised me was the response from the rest of the family. I had worried that some might side with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, but I was pleasantly surprised. To my relief, most of them completely understood why I had kicked them out. Many approached my wife afterward, offering their support and assuring her that given the circumstances they would have reacted exactly the same way.

It felt like a small victory knowing that at least the rest of the family could see through Nora's manipulative antics. In the days following the party, things have been far from peaceful with Nora and my mother-in-law. Both have been blowing up my phone with calls and messages, absolutely furious with me. They're both demanding an apology from me for the humiliation of being kicked out of the party. Nora also keeps insisting how inconsiderate I was for threatening to make her pay for the dress. She's been trying to guilt-trip me by saying she doesn't have a job or any savings after her ex-husband left her, so I shouldn't expect her to pay.

I haven't responded to a single message or call. I'm giving myself some space to cool down and think things through clearly. But the more I reflect on it, the more certain I become that what they did was completely wrong. I don't plan to back down. I refuse to apologize for standing up for my wife, for protecting our celebration, or for demanding that Nora take responsibility for her actions. Update 2, it's been quite a while since my last update. Just wanted to quickly fill you all in on what's happened since then. After weeks of dealing with Nora's stubborn refusal to take responsibility, we finally decided to follow through and take her to small claims court.

We were completely done with the endless excuses, the manipulation tactics, and the blatant disrespect. We gathered all the evidence needed for our case, including the CCTV footage from the venue that clearly showed Nora spilling the wine on my wife's dress, plus statements from multiple witnesses who had seen the whole incident unfold. Everyone at the party knew exactly what had happened, and there wasn't a doubt in anyone's mind that Nora was responsible for the damage and had refused to make it right. For weeks after the party, Nora continued to deny any responsibility, doubling down on her position and even accusing us of blowing everything out of proportion.

When we sent her the bill for the dress, she flat out refused to pay, still acting like it was no big deal. Meanwhile, my mother-in-law kept berating my wife, accusing her of subjecting her poor little sister to unnecessary drama. But my wife and I were completely done being manipulated, so we moved forward with the small claims court case. We had solid evidence, reliable witnesses, and we weren't going to back down. In court, Nora tried to pull the same act, claiming the wine spill was purely accidental and that we were overreacting. She even tried to play the sympathy card with the judge, going on about

how difficult her life had become since her divorce and how she couldn't possibly afford to pay for the dress. But the judge wasn't buying any of it. The evidence was crystal clear, and despite her desperate attempts to manipulate the situation, the court ordered her to pay for the dress. It felt like a major victory. For once in her life, Nora was actually being held accountable for her actions. She made a complete fool of herself in that courtroom, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a deep sense of satisfaction seeing her finally face some consequences. Even after the ruling, Nora still hasn't apologized. My mother-in-law has predictably sided with her, but honestly, at this point, it doesn't matter one bit. The legal victory speaks volumes, and my wife and I won fair and square.

Since the small claims court ruling, my wife and I have made the difficult but necessary decision to cut off Nora, my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law from our lives completely. The entire ordeal, from the wine incident to the court case, has made it painfully obvious just how toxic and manipulative they all are. While my father-in-law didn't actively participate in their awful behavior, he's remained completely silent throughout this whole situation. Not once has he stood up for my wife or shown any support for us. His silence speaks volumes about where his loyalties lie. At this point, both my wife and I are utterly exhausted by the constant negativity and complete lack of accountability from her family members.

Every single time we've tried to have a reasonable conversation with them, they've either deflected blame or tried to make us feel guilty for their actions. The way they treat us, especially my wife, goes beyond hurtful, it's downright toxic. Cutting them off has been painful for my wife, but she understands that putting her own well-being first is essential. In April of 2004, it's been four months since my last update, and for the past seven months, my wife and I have maintained. zero contact with her family. We've successfully kept our distance from them, and for the most part, that decision has brought us much-needed peace. They've made numerous attempts to reach us through calls, messages, and even by sending mutual family members as messengers, but we've remained firm in our decision to keep them out of our lives. Then today, completely out of the

blue, Nora showed up at our front door. It was totally unexpected and unannounced, and I could tell immediately from her expression that she wasn't here for a friendly reconciliation. I asked her what she was doing at our house, but she completely ignored my question and demanded to know if my wife was home. I calmly but firmly asked her to leave our property immediately. That's when she started getting aggressive, insisting that she needed to speak with my wife no matter what. She even had the nerve to argue that I had no right to keep her away from her sister, trying to manipulate me into letting her inside. But I wasn't about to give in.

I reminded her that it wasn't just my decision to stay away from her, it was also my wife who had chosen to cut her off after everything she had put us through. For years, Nora had treated us like we were beneath her, constantly belittling my wife, making cruel remarks about our relationship, and only showing up when it was convenient for her. And now, all of a sudden, she desperately needed her sister. I told her point blank that she had absolutely no right to show up at our doorstep after everything she had put us through. At this point, Nora started yelling at me, trying to pin all the family problems on me. She was practically hysterical, accusing me of being the reason their family had fallen apart.

Her voice dripped with venom as she shouted that if I hadn't entered my wife's life, she could have found a better man who would have been a more supportive brother-in-law, someone who would have fit and better with their family. I was about to give her a peace of my mind when I spotted my wife's car pulling into the driveway. She got out and immediately looked over, visibly confused to see her sister standing at our door. My wife rushed over to me, concern written all over her face as she asked if everything was okay. She could clearly feel the tension in the air. Nora, seeing my wife approach, immediately switched tactics and started acting all sweet and

affectionate, as if nothing had ever gone wrong between them. My wife coldly asked what she wanted and why she was there in the first place. Nora, undeterred by the frosty reception, tried to play the victim card and asked my wife to speak with her privately. But my wife wasn't having any of it. Without missing a beat, she told Nora that whatever she had to say could be said in front of me. She made it crystal clear that there was no room for secret conversations or manipulation attempts. Nora clearly wasn't pleased with my wife's cold response, but she didn't have much choice at that point.

After a brief pause, she revealed her true intentions, she needed to borrow $20,000 from us. My wife and I exchanged looks of utter disbelief as Nora explained that she wanted the money to start her own business. My wife asked her point-blank why she was asking us for money, and that's when Nora dropped the bomb that apparently my mother-in-law and father-in-law had refused to give it to her. She explained that she had already been living off them for too long, and it was actually my mother-in-law's idea for her to come and ask my wife for help instead. We were both absolutely stunned. My wife told her sister in no uncertain terms that there was no way in hell we would

give her the money, especially when we had no desire to have her in our lives anymore. And then Nora started begging, claiming that $20,000 was nothing. for us to give her. She went on and on about how desperately she needed the money and how this could be her big break in life. At this point, I couldn't hold back any longer. I told Nora, as bluntly as I could, that if she really needed the money, she should find a job, work hard, and start saving up like the rest of us, instead of coming to us for handouts. I reminded her that we were not her personal ATM, and after everything she had done to the idea that we would help her financially was completely ridiculous. She wasn't about to take no for an answer,

though. She started yelling at me again, accusing me of being selfish for not helping her when she was clearly in need. She even tried to negotiate, saying she would officially apologize for her past behavior, but only if we agreed to lend her the money. She thought that throwing in an apology as a bargaining chip would somehow erase everything and make us cave to her demands. But my wife and I weren't born yesterday. I looked Nora straight in the eye and said, You've always treated me like I'm nothing, and now you have the audacity to come asking me for help. You've got some serious nerve. That clearly hit a nerve because Nora's face turned bright red with embarrassment. She then stormed off, muttering insults under her breath. Since that incident,

I've taken some additional security measures around our home to ensure this doesn't happen again. I've installed cameras around the property, not just for security purposes, but as a way to protect ourselves from future unwanted visits. I'm not going to let Nora or anyone else disrupt the peaceful life we've built. I hope you enjoy this story. Child deceived during legal proceedings to support my former spouse in obtaining guardianship of our children and now, half a decade later, she expresses regret and seeks to rectify the situation upon discovering her mother's actions. Manipulated her. I'm a 45-year-old man who has been divorced for five years from my ex-wife Sarah, 43.

After our divorce was finalized, Sarah was granted primary custody of our three children, despite the fact that she had been unfaithful to me during our marriage. I strongly believe, and have believed from the beginning, that she only fought for full custody to secure child support payments from me. This wasn't about the children's well-being or what was best for them in the long run. She knew she couldn't rely on alimony since I had clear evidence of her infidelity with my former best friend, Thomas. The documentation I had gathered from a shared laptop we used would have made it impossible for her to secure ongoing financial support through that avenue.

Rather than fighting a battle she might lose in the alimony department, Sarah, cleverly manipulated our oldest daughter Maya into believing I was the villain of our family story. Maya was 15 at the time of the proceedings, which made her old enough to have her preferences considered in family court. Completely disregarding the years I had devoted to being a good father to her, Maya testified against me, claiming I had anger management issues that made me dangerous to her and her siblings, and that it would be in everyone's best interest if I had limited access to them. These claims were entirely fabricated, but coming for my own daughter, they carried significant weight in the courtroom. The court took Maya's testimony very seriously, as I had feared they would,

and awarded Sarah primary custody. I was initially given only supervised visitation rights and mandatory counseling, after which I was allowed unsupervised visits. These supervised visits were humiliating for me, having to interact with my own children while being watched by a court-appointed supervisor, as if I were some kind of threat. During these visits, I typically only saw my two younger children, Noah, who was eight at the time, and Emma, who was six. They were the only ones who seemed genuinely upset by my absence and happy whenever I came to visit. Even after the supervision requirement was lifted, Maya continued to avoid these visits entirely. Now, Noah is 13 and Emma is 11.

Recently, during our regular weekend visits, they've been telling me that Sarah and Maya have been arguing frequently over the past few months. According to them, the arguments have been getting increasingly intense. Maya is 20 now and whenever she visits home during her university breaks, she appears unusually stressed. The children have mentioned that she often looks upset and retreats to her room after these arguments. I found this surprising since Maya had always been Sarah's favorite child. After the divorce was finalized, Maya completely stopped talking to me and never explained why she lied in her testimony, causing me to lose custody of my children. I always suspect that Sarah had manipulated her, but I never learned the specific details

of what had transpired between them. Last weekend, I went to Sarah and Thomas's house, yes, they got married after our divorce, to pick up Noah and Emma for our usual weekend together. I typically wait in the driveway and the children come out to meet me, to avoid any unnecessary interaction with Sarah or Thomas. To my surprise, Maya came out with them. This was completely out of character for her, as she normally avoids me entirely,

even going so far as to retreat to her room when I arrived to pick up her siblings. She approached my car and told me she really needed to talk to me about something important. Her demeanor was serious, and I could tell she was nervous. I was shocked by this sudden change in behavior but immediately brushed her off, telling her I had no interest in talking to her about anything. Even though five years had passed, and she is my daughter, I've never been able to forgive or forget what I went through because of her false testimony. The pain of having my character assassinated by my own child in court was something I couldn't simply move past. I left with Noah and Emma as quickly as possible, spent the weekend with them doing our usual activities, and when I returned them home, Maya tried to talk to me again.

I ignored her completely and left promptly, not wanting to engage in what I assumed would be a conversation that would only reopen old wounds. After that encounter, Maya began calling me repeatedly, which she had never done in all these years. In fact, I still had the same phone number from before the divorce, and she had never once used it to reach out to me. She started sending text messages saying she urgently needed to speak with me about an important matter. Two days ago, I finally gave in after receiving multiple messages daily. It was clear there was something serious she needed to discuss, so I agreed to meet her at my house, mainly out of curiosity about what could possibly be

so urgent after years of silence. She arrived that evening, exactly at the time we had agreed upon, and as soon as she stepped inside, she began apologizing profusely. She told me she had misunderstood me completely and had made the worst mistake of her life by testifying against me in court. She seemed genuinely remorseful, which took me by surprise. Confused by this sudden change of heart after so many years, I asked her to explain what had led to her testimony in the first place, and what had changed her perspective so dramatically now. For context, I didn't discover Sarah's affair with Thomas until after she had filed for divorce. She presented me with the papers, confessed to the affair as if it were a minor detail,

and acted as though the decision was already finalized. I initially tried to salvage our marriage and told her I was willing to work through it for the sake of our family, but she insisted that she wanted to build a life with Thomas. After a few days of feeling devastated by the collapse of my marriage, anger and humiliated. took over, and I decided to fight for everything in the divorce. However, I tried to keep our children out of it, believing that they shouldn't suffer more than necessary from their parents' problems. I just wanted to keep my assets, the house, and everything we had built together during our

marriage. I felt entitled to these things, given the circumstances of our separation. Sarah wasn't pleased with this arrangement, as she realized she'd be left with very little, especially since Thomas was struggling professionally at that time. His business ventures had not been successful, and he was between jobs. That's when the custody battle began in earnest, she recognized that child support was the only way to secure money for me on an ongoing basis. Since our younger children were too young to influence the court's decision significantly, she focused on manipulating Maya by lying about numerous things to make me look like the villain of our family drama.

According to Maya, Sarah convinced her that I had forced her to abandon her medical school education when she became pregnant with Maya. This was entirely false, Sarah had chosen to leave medical school of her own accord, deciding that the stress was too much for her during pregnancy. She claimed I had pressured her to be a stay-at-home mom after Maya was born and we got married, when in reality, it had been a mutual decision based on what we thought was best for our family at the time. Sarah also told Maya that I had treated her like her only purpose was to have children, demanding she give me at least three kids, and supposedly planning for a fourth. Another complete fabrication, we had both wanted children, and each pregnancy was planned and agreed upon by both of us. Sarah convinced Maya that I only cared about her when she was pregnant with my children but

otherwise never showed any interest in her well-being or dreams. She claimed this neglect had driven her to seek comfort with touch. Thomas, who supposedly showed genuine interest in her as a person rather than just as a mother. She persuaded Maya that I was the antagonist in their love story and that I was planning to cheat Sarah out of everything she deserved in the divorce. Child support, she said, was the only way to get anything from me, painting me as someone who would leave her destitute out of spite. Maya believed every word without questioning any of it, simply because it came from her mother, with whom she had always been close. So she said,

She testified against me, repeating the lies her mother had told her as if they were established facts. Thomas and Sarah also convinced her to cut contact with all grandparents because they opposed what the couple had done, and they didn't want Maya to learn the truth about me from other family members who knew the real story. She never questioned them once, accepting their narrative completely. Recently, however, Maya reconnected with her maternal grandparents after her grandmother had a heart attack. Sarah and Thomas were visibly upset about this reconnection because my former in-laws decided to reveal old truths to Maya. They encouraged her to talk to me directly to discover the truth for herself,

rather than continuing to rely on the one-sided story she had been told. According to Maya, that's what she and her mother had been arguing about for months, with Sarah trying to prevent Maya from contacting me, which only increased Maya's suspicions. At 20, she's not as naive as she was at 15, and her mother's desperate at attempts to keep her away from me and her grandparents had begun to seem suspicious rather than protective. Maya has recently become convinced that she was used by her mother as a pawn in our divorce, and she wanted to talk to me about potentially suing Sarah for the damage she caused to our

relationship and to my relationship with my other children. As soon as she mentioned this idea, I immediately rejected it. I told her I didn't want to get involved in any more legal battles, I'd had enough legal drama to last a lifetime. The thought of going back to court, facing lawyers, judges, and the entire system again filled me with dread. She insisted, saying that she had robbed us of years of our father-daughter relationship, that her mother deserved consequences for her manipulative behavior, and maybe she did, but I had zero interest in returning to court.

It would be a waste of my time and resources, not to mention emotionally draining. Now that Maya knows the truth and I've moved on with my life, building a new way. routine and stability, the only thing I might consider is asking Sarah to modify our custody arrangements so Noah and Emma could spend more time with me. Beyond that, I want to avoid any legal confrontation. It's not about fear, it's about practicality and preserving the peace I've managed to find after years of turmoil. But Maya kept pushing the issue, becoming increasingly passionate about the need for justice and accountability. Eventually, I lost my patience with her persistence. I told her I understood she felt guilty about what happened, but truthfully, she had allowed herself to be manipulated even though she knew, deep down, that I wasn't the kind of man her mother described.

She had spent 15 years with me before the divorce and had direct experience of my character and behavior. She wanted to be her mother's hero back then, and now she wanted to be mine. I told her to stop interfering in matters that weren't her concern anymore, given that she's 20 years old now. There's no custody arrangement preventing her from spending time with me and making amends for her past actions. As for her siblings, I would handle that situation myself through appropriate channels, but she needed to stop pressuring me to do something I had no interest in doing just because she felt guilty about her role in the past. She appeared shocked by my harsh tone and rudeness. She left without saying much and hasn't contacted me since that confrontation.

Now I'm wondering if I was too severe with her. her, if my lingering resentment caused me to reject a genuine attempt at reconciliation too harshly. Am I the jerk for telling my daughter to stop meddling in trying to play the hero in every situation? Update 1. After posting my story and reading through the comments, I realized I haven't been in proper contact with my former in-laws for many years, so I had no idea they were still trying to encourage Maya to reach out to me. I recently spoke with them to ask about what exactly they had told Maya, and they confirmed they had indeed encouraged her to contact me. They explained they hadn't informed me of this because they didn't want to raise my hopes

unnecessarily in case she decided not to reach out after all. They knew how painful the estrangement had been for me and didn't want to add to that pain if their efforts proved unsuccessful. I expressed my gratitude for their intervention and support. They had also testified on my behalf during the custody hearing along with my parents, which had created an awkward dynamic in our relationship, but we had maintained some contact over the years despite the complications. However, due to my intense work schedule lately, I hadn't spoken with them in months. We had drifted apart somewhat, not due to any conflict but simply the natural distance that sometimes develops when people aren't actively in each other's lives.

I'm thankful they thought to intervene this way because Maya has finally discovered the truth about her mother, thanks to them. This means I can now file for shared custody of Noah and Emma, which is significant progress, and I'm extremely grateful for their role in making this possible. Before I continue my update, I want to clarify something important about my previous custody efforts. I have attempted to obtain shared custody of my younger children in the years following the divorce. I tried twice through formal legal channels, but Sarah fought vigorously against any changes because she knew the younger children were her only claim to child support payments from me, since Maya was already an adult by then. I hate to admit it, but she and her

lawyer were quite effective at portraying me negatively to the court, leveraging Maya's previous testimony against me and suggesting that nothing had changed regarding my supposedly volatile temperament. I was advised by my own lawyer to wait and build a stronger case before trying again. For the past three years, I decided to wait rather than waste my time, energy, and resources on what seemed like a losing battle given the precedent already established. It's complicated and goes deeper than I've explained, but I assure you I tried my best within the constraints I was facing. Now for the update, I decided to speak with Maya after all and resolve our issues because after reflecting for several days, I realized the universe was

giving me a second chance to reconnect with the daughter I had lost to Sarah. I couldn't deny that after Maya was born, my demanding career left me with little time for her, and it was primarily Sarah who spent days and nights caring for her. I wasn't completely absent from her life, but naturally, having spent more time with her mother, Maya developed a closer bond with her. As I mentioned in my original post, Maya was Sarah's favorite child, and they had always shared a special connection that sometimes made me feel like an outsider in their relationship. I tried to put myself in Maya's position, and I realized it would have been difficult for me to doubt my own mother as well, given how close they were. She made a mistake at 15, a significant

one with lasting consequences, and she continued to believe her mother until recently. That's something she'll have to live with for the rest of her life. She chose to lie about me and harm my relationship with her siblings for years, and that will also stay with her forever. These aren't small transgressions that can be easily forgotten or dismissed. But the fact that she acknowledged her mistake and approached me to make amends counts for something significant. After much consideration and internal debate, I decided to at least talk to her instead of dismissing her apology outright, so earlier today I called her and said I was willing to speak

with her again. If she wanted to resolve things and begin rebuilding our relationship, she could come to my house that evening so we could have a proper face-to-face conversation. Unfortunately, she had already returned to university in another state, but we agreed to have a video call so we could at least discuss things temporarily until she could visit in person. That evening, we connected via video, and after brief awkward greetings, we got down to business. Neither of us seemed to know quite how to act after so many years of estrangement, but we both recognized the importance of addressing the issues directly.

I expressed my deep disappointment that for five years, she never once questioned the stories her mother had told her, never attempted to verify them with me or with other family members who knew the truth. I also told her that considering how I had always treated her with love, affection, and respect since she was a child, I found it absurd that she had chosen to lie for her mother without giving me any opportunity to defend myself. No matter how hard I tried to moved past it, it would be impossible for me to forget what happened and pretend everything was fine. That was something she would have to accept as we moved forward, that forgiveness might be possible but forgetting was not. She acknowledged this reality and admitted there was nothing

she could do to change the past or undo the harm she had caused. She had made numerous mistakes and never questioned herself or her mother's narrative because she was convinced her mother would never lie to her about something so important. She truly believed I was skillfully hiding my true nature from everyone except her mother, who supposedly knew the real me. Now that she realized how severely she had misjudged the situation, she desperately wanted to make amends in whatever way possible. Even if I didn't want to pursue legal action against her mother, she hoped I would at least give her a second chance to prove herself as a better daughter than before. She accepted that some of these actions would haunt her for the rest of her life, and she couldn't reasonably expect me to

forget the trauma and heartache she had caused, but she was asking for a chance to repair some of the damage and rebuild our relationship gradually, on whatever terms I was comfortable with. After our lengthy discussion, I told her I still needed time because this was all very sudden and unexpected, and I needed space to process everything that had happened and everything she had told me. She agreed without hesitation and said I could take all the time I needed, reiterated how deeply sorry she was for what she had done and the pain she had caused. Despite her efforts to remain composed throughout our conversation, she eventually broke down in tears, as did I.

The emotional weight of everything that had been lost was overwhelming for both of us. Ultimately, I'm glad we had this conversation because we were able to address many issues openly and honestly, which is the only way to move forward from the mess Sarah created. To be honest, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to fully, forgive her and put this behind us completely, but it's worth trying for both our sakes. Update 2. It's been a few days since my last update, and after speaking with Maya, I decided to talk to Sarah about modifying our custody arrangements so that Noah and Emma could spend more time with me. I had been planning to address this issue this year anyway

regardless of Maya's reappearance in my life, and the perfect opportunity had presented itself now that I had additional leverage. I contacted Sarah and told her, we needed to discuss the custody arrangement seriously. As I expected, she tried to avoid the conversation immediately, claiming she was busy for the next several weeks with work and other obligations. Obviously, she was stalling and hoping I would drop the matter as I had in previous years, so I informed her that Maya had already spoken to me at length, and if she didn't want me to take her to court and sue her for her actions and manipulation, she should meet with me to modify the custody arrangement legally. I also told her I wanted her to stop receiving child support

payments from me since I knew she and Thomas had recently started a business together, so they weren't struggling financially anymore as they had claimed to be for years. I also demanded that she returned the money she had taken for me under false pretenses, however she could manage it financially, or else I would take her to court with Maya's support, as Maya was now prepared to testify in my favor and reveal the entire truth about what had happened. I gave her a clear choice, either cooperate without facing legal consequences, which I preferred to avoid for everyone's sake, or face a more difficult path through the courts, entirely her decision which route we would take.

With Maya on my side now, I felt confident in a way I hadn't before and didn't care what Sarah thought of my ultimatum or how she might characterize it to others. I believed I had earned the right to stand firm after everything she had put me through for so many years. She became silent on the other end of the line and said she needed time to think about it and consult with Thomas. Her tone had noticeably changed, lacking her usual attitude and confidence when dealing with me, which was exactly what I wanted to hear after so long. I gave her until the end of the week to make a decision but warned her that if I didn't receive an answer by then, I would consult my lawyer immediately, and she might lose even more if we pursued

the legal route with Maya's testimony supporting my case. She became upset and accused me of blackmail, but I told her I didn't care what she called it at this point. I had spent years trying to stay out of this mess, trying to maintain peace and stability for the children's sake, but now I was determined to reclaim my money, my life, and most importantly, my rightful place in my children's lives. Regardless of what I had to do, whether it meant pressuring her or taking her to court. Until recently, I had felt differently about this confrontational approach, but I realized my hesitation stemmed from my previous negative experience in court and the fear of losing again. However, with Maya supporting me now and willing to testify about the manipulation that had occurred, I was no longer concerned about the outcome.

I felt confident that justice would finally be served after all these years. Update 3 The end of the week arrived quickly, and yesterday I spoke. with Maya about my conversation with her mother. I wanted to ensure she understood what might be required of her if we did end up in court. I asked if she would truly be willing to testify in court again, contradicting her previous testimony, because even though she was 15 at the time and legally a minor, it could potentially cause problems for her both legally and emotionally. I wanted her to fully understand what she might be getting into if Sarah refused to cooperate.

She assured me with complete conviction that even if she faced consequences personally, it would be for a good cause because what Sarah had done to both of us was inexcusable and impossible to justify by any reasonable standard. Additionally, she admitted openly that her own actions had been wrong from the beginning. She knew she was lying at the time when she testified and chose to do so to help her mother get what she wanted in the divorce. It had been a difficult decision for her because she wasn't naturally dishonest. or manipulative. But she did it because her mother asked her to and convinced her it was necessary,

even though she hadn't personally witnessed any of the behaviors she testified about in court. Now she was prepared to do whatever was necessary to make things right, regardless of the potential consequences to herself or her relationship with her mother. I became emotional when she said this because it confirmed beyond doubt that she was serious about making amends. She wasn't just saying these things to ease her conscience, she just genuinely meant them and was prepared to back them up with action. Nevertheless, I hoped Sarah would comply with my requests without much resistance, sparing us all from legal complications, which I wanted to avoid if at all possible. If she was thinking rationally about her own

interests, she would want to avoid court as well, given what could come to light. Earlier today, I finally called her for her answer, hoping she had come to a reasonable decision. She didn't answer my first few calls, so I messaged her saying that ignoring the problem wouldn't make it disappear, something she should have learned by now. Eventually, she called me back, and for the first few minutes, she stalled and wasted my time with small talk and vague statements. I directly asked her if she had an answer to my proposal or if I needed to contact my lawyer immediately, as I was getting tired of the conversation and her evasion tactics. After evading the question for several more minutes, trying to steer the conversation in other directions, she finally agreed to my terms. Her only request was that we keep lawyers out of it entirely, and I told her I would agree to that condition as soon as she ensured the first repayment would be made within the next month. I wasn't willing to wait indefinitely for her to begin making things right.

She tried to negotiate again, claiming that she and Thomas had just launched their business venture and needed time to become profitable before they could begin repayments, but I wasn't interested in her excuses or financial situation. I had given her plenty of time over the years to do the right thing. She had never admitted her mistakes or tried to make amends in any way, so I felt I owed her nothing at this point. However, being an honest person with integrity, I only wanted what was rightfully mine, not a any more. I had meticulously reviewed the child support payments from the past few years,

which I strongly suspected she had set aside for personal use rather than spending on the children as intended. Even if she hadn't misused the funds, it didn't matter legally or morally because she wasn't entitled to that money in the first place, having obtained it through deception and manipulation. I believe that's the money she used to fund her business venture initially, though I couldn't prove it definitively. My accountant had carefully calculated the total amount owed, accounting for every payment made, and she would need to repay that sum in full. I didn't plan to use the money for myself, I intended to set it aside for the children's future education and needs, but she didn't need to know that detail. I was being fair and only asking for

what I legitimately deserved, unlike her approach throughout our divorce and custody proceedings. I told her to consider this my final act of goodwill and to be grateful that I had decided not to take legal action that could potentially result in much worse consequences for her. She continued trying to negotiate more favorable terms, but I ended the call abruptly. I then texted her saying I didn't want to discuss it further as it was a waste of my valuable time. I just wanted the payments to arrive on schedule according to the agreement we had reached, and if there were any delays or problems, she could be absolutely sure.

certain I would take her to court without hesitation. I also consulted my lawyer privately, and while I preferred to avoid litigation for everyone's sake, I thought it was important to have a formal contract documenting our agreement. I informed Sarah that I would send the contract the following week for her signature. These were my terms, and I believe they are completely fair given the circumstances. Whether anyone approves of my approach or attitude is irrelevant to me because I feel that time for consideration and gentleness has long passed. I refuse to tolerate any more mistreatment or manipulation from Sarah or anyone associated with her, including Thomas.

Update 4. It's been several months since my last update, and Maya and I have been actively working to improve our relationship. It hasn't been easy by any measure. Sometimes I become distant when reminded of everything that happened, and moving forward is challenging when those memories resurface unexpectedly. During these times, she's wise enough to give me space without taking offense, and afterward, we resume our conversations and try to work through our issues in a mature way. We're making progress, slowly but surely, and I'm confident will continue to improve our situation over time.

Sarah has been fulfilling her obligations consistently, and I'm keeping my promise not to take her to court as long as she continues to comply with our agreement. She has also signed the contract I mentioned in my previous update, so we now have a formal agreement from which she cannot withdraw without consequences. I'm gradually recovering what I lost financially, but more importantly, I'm recovering the time with my children, including Maya, which makes me incredibly happy and grateful. I know many people disagreed with my decision to forgive Maya, suggesting she might betray me again if circumstances changed, but as a father who loves his daughter despite everything,

strongly doubt that will happen. We've been rebuilding our bond carefully and thoughtfully, and everyone makes mistakes, especially in their formative years when they're still developing their judgment and critical thinking skills. I think I would be in a difficult position if people held mistakes I made at 15 against me forever, so I'm willing to give her another chance at our relationship. I believe everything will work out well in the end, even if the path to that outcome isn't always smoothed or straightforward. Noah and Emma have also benefited from the new arrangement. They spend much more time with me now, and our relationship has strengthened considerably. They seem happier and more balanced, no longer caught in the

middle of adult conflicts beyond their understanding. I've been careful not to speak negatively about their mother in their presence, despite everything that's happened, because I believe that would only harm them in the long run. That's all I have to share for now. I'm happy in doing well overall, despite the occasional difficulties that still arise. Thank you for your support and advice throughout this journey. It has been incredibly valuable to have outside perspectives on this complex situation. I hope you enjoy this story. Sill requested that I create celebration pastries but later excluded me from a pre-wedding gathering.

Furthermore, she placed us next to my spouse's biological contributor at the ceremony, while his former romantic partner was seated nearby. with family. I was asked by my mill a while ago to make two cakes for my Sills wedding. From my understanding these will not be the main dessert or the actual wedding cake they cut for photos, just extra cakes for wedding guests with food allergies. I myself have a dairy allergy and my husband's goddaughter, who is the flower girl, has celiac. She asked me to make a gluten-free cake and a dairy-free cake. I have a small baking business on the side and bake out of my home. I have made wedding cakes before.

My mill said she would pay me to make them and buy some ingredients, but she is yet to pay me anything or buy anything to my knowledge. She also never sent me reference photos or inspo picks of how Sill wants the cakes to look, which I did request. For added context, Sill and I are not close anymore. We used to get along well in the beginning of my relationship with my now husband, Sill's brother, but over time we have drifted apart. My husband and I are not big fans of her fiancé.

We don't click and he is hard to talk to and that definitely has put a strain on our relationship with her, but we try to just accept the fact that if she's happy, we can be happy for her. The events over the last month have led me to not want to make the cakes for her wedding anymore, but I am just wondering if it will make me the asshole if I don't make them and back out so close to the wedding. About four weeks ago was Sill's Bachelorette party. She got an Airbnb for the whole weekend for her. the bridesmaids, and my mill. I was not invited to stay at the Airbnb because there weren't enough beds,

but was invited to be a part of the Saturday plans and told I could get my own hotel if I wanted. It was about two hours away from where I live, so I decided I would just drive there and back and save the cost of a hotel. My mill calls me the morning of and basically tries to convince me it isn't worth the drive saying I should just stay home and Sill would understand and would want me to be safe. She was worried about me driving alone on unfamiliar roads late at night on the way back and didn't want me drinking then driving home, which I wouldn't have done by the way. She was also concerned I would be driving my car which needs replacing, I was told I shouldn't drive it on the highway or long distances. I had also lost my driver's license the week before and didn't have a new one yet.

She genuinely seemed concerned for my well-being and had valid reasons to be worried. I thought she was just looking out for me. After getting off the phone with her, though, it just didn't feel right not going. I feared if I didn't go it would hurt my relationship with my sill even further, so I tried to find solutions to Mills concerns. I wanted to put in the effort and show up to support and celebrate my sill. I switched cars with my husband and messaged a friend of mine, that knows my sill and fiancé, to see if she would drive me there so I wasn't driving without a license

and we could split a hotel so I could stay out later and enjoy more of the party. I messaged my mill shortly after confirming with my friend that she could take me and presented the solutions I found. I also messaged my SIL asking if she would be okay with me bringing a friend. I explained her mother's worries and why I was asking someone to come with me but said I wanted to run it by her first before just bringing a plus one. If it was an issue my friend could have stayed at the hotel. I never got a response from Sill. If I waited any longer before leaving we would have missed more of the day. So I texted her again saying that I didn't hear from her, but we were on our way and would

meet up with her for the afternoon activities. In addition, I texted and called my Mill at least four or five times before leaving and while on our way there. I didn't get a response from either of them. I had my husband try calling his mom and sister as well. We were in town for almost an hour and a half before finally getting a call from Mill's phone. It was one of the bridesmaids telling me the girls talked and they weren't really comfortable hanging out with someone they don't know.

It was clear they did not want to meet up or tell me where they were and I was basically uninvited. We drove the two hours back home and I was trying not to cry the whole time. I was very hurt by this from both my Mill and Sil. At the time, I thought my Mill was just being overly worried about me, but after the fact I was thinking did Sil not want me there? Was she trying to get Mill to convince me not to go? I felt foolish and naive.

I wasn't sure why I was even invited if that was the case and why if she changed her mind and didn't want me there that she couldn't have told me herself before I drove two hours there. I told my husband everything. He was embarrassed his family did that and was upset by what happened. He messaged his mom and said how upset and disappointed he was that I was treated that way and mentioned how hurt I was by everything. She never responded to his message.

She didn't reach out to me either. I also never heard from Sill. Flash forward to last weekend, weekend before the wedding, I find out there's another Bach party in town planned for Sill and her fiancé for family only this time. My husband was invited and told specifically not to bring anyone else that wasn't personally invited by the bride or groom. Well, I never got a message or invite to the party so I assume that meant I wasn't invited. I tell my husband that he doesn't have to stay home for my sake and that it's his sister and he should

go if he wants to. He was getting calls from his cousin and sister asking where he was. I was still hurt but didn't want to keep him from his family. I was also worried I'd somehow get blamed for him not going. So I told him to go and that I'd be okay even though I was very hurt by being excluded again. Well he goes and when he gets back he tells me that his ex-girlfriend was there. I was a mess after that. Knowing that an ex-girlfriend of my husband was invited to my Sill's second Bach Party meant for family and I wasn't. I didn't even know Sill and husband's ex were friends. This was a whole new level of pain and confusion. It seemed intentionally spiteful and deliberately hurtful. All of this is so sudden and out of the blue. I am shocked and am at a loss for words.

I truly don't understand what I could have done to cause his family to turn on me and be so hurtful and not care about my feelings. My relationship with my sill has been a little strained lately, but it was something I was hoping we could work on and fix. It is hard for me to imagine coming back from this, though. And up until now, I thought I had a pretty great relationship with my mill. I sent a message to her over the weekend about how hurt I am by her and her family, and as I'm writing this, she still hasn't responded. I would feel bad backing out on the cake order so close to the wedding,

but I barely even want to go to the wedding anymore, let alone bake and decorate two different cakes for it. I'm worried if I don't do the cakes they will hold it against me and make me look like the bad guy. I don't want to damage the relationships even further, but I'm struggling with so many emotions. It's a battle of self-respect and also guilt of backing out and leaving them hanging right before the big day. So Reddit, would I be the asshole if I don't make cakes for my sister-in-law's wedding? Update, so when I posted before it was taken down by the mods, I had a lot of people telling me not to make the cakes. I'm sorry to say I probably disappointed a lot of the OG responders. I didn't end up making the cakes.

I did, however, make a dozen cupcakes. I found it to be a compromise I was comfortable with. I was very conflicted but ultimately would have felt too guilty not making anything for the wedding. Mostly because I was providing dessert options for those with food allergies and having a food allergy myself, I know how hard it is to go to big events and not be able to eat anything. Being a baker, it is especially disheartening to see everyone else enjoy a dessert and not be able to have a safe treat to enjoy as well. I wanted to be sure my husband's goddaughter had a gluten-free dessert. So I decided to make 12 vegan, nut-free, gluten-free cupcakes to accommodate all-slash-most allergensers and dietary restrictions.

I asked my mill if she still wanted me to make them and she said yes. I said I would need payment up front and she would need to provide the vegan butter and gluten-free flour. I severely under charge for my baking so I felt like it was a fair ask. She had my husband's other parent or mill number two, husband has two moms, this will be relevant later, drop off the ingredients and payment on Wednesday evening before the wedding. Keep in mind the wedding was Friday. So with my full-time job schedule, I only had Thursday night to make the cupcakes and miss the rehearsal dinner.

Not that we were planning on making it anyways to be honest, Sill and her now husband didn't go to our rehearsal dinner because he did. didn't like anything on the menu, so we were already leaning towards not going to that. Flash forward to the wedding, I told my husband that I wanted to go, at least to the ceremony because it was his family after all and I wanted to go for his sake. I told him going into it that I was only there to support him and that I was not intending to discuss any of the conflict or tension or prior events and didn't want to bring any drama to his sister's wedding day.

I truly did not want to take away from her day. the ceremony, I go into the reception hall to find the dessert table and drop off the cupcakes. Lo and behold, there were three fucking dozen other cupcakes purchased from a gluten-free specialty bakery on the table and no room for my cupcakes to go. I started shaking. I tossed the box of cupcakes on top of the table and went to go find my husband. I found him staring at the seating chart. He said, did you see who we were seated with? I took a look at the chart and was shocked but yet not surprised to see we were sat at the farthest table in the back and not with any member of his family, except his donor dad. Now a little backstory slash context, as I mentioned before, my husband,

and Sill have two moms. My husband and Sill have two different donor dad so Sill has no relation, blood or otherwise, with my husband's donor dad. My husband has never had the intent or interest to meet his donor dad, despite pressure from his moms. His D.D. donor dad, was an acquaintance of his parents so they did know him and would send him cards and pictures other the years but my husband never wanted to meet him. He never felt the need to because he already had two parents. Mill did pressure us to invite DD to our wedding the previous year. I left the decision up to my husband and he chose not to. So back to the wedding, I was fuming. As if I wasn't already shaking enough. It's one thing to hurt me but to mess with my husband?

Hell no. I could not believe his own family would do this to him. No one should be blindsided like that and forced into meeting their DD when they've specifically expressed that they do not care too. And if husband wanted to meet his DD, it should be on his terms. It should not be sprung on him at his sister's wedding. And we're sad at the same table with him and not with any of his actual family? But wait, it gets better. Guess who is sad at the family table. Yep, you guessed it. The fucking ex-girlfriend. I seriously cannot make this stuff up. I was floored and absolutely jaw-dropped at their audacity. I didn't care about the Bachelorette parties or the damn cupcakes anymore. My main focus was my husband. He was shaking too and clearly

distressed and getting very anxious, nearing an attack. I asked him what he wanted to do and remind him that I was only there for him and will stick by him no matter what he decides to do. I asked if he wanted to leave and go home. I asked if he wanted to go get dinner somewhere else and we can come back for the rest of the reception later. He said he just needed a drink, so we left the cocktail hour and went to the hotel lobby bar, same building as wedding slash reception. A friend of ours was working and we immediately vented to her and told her what was going on. After we had a drink or two, to calm down, I again asked my husband what he wanted to do. He wanted me to go in and check if his DD was there or not, and if he was he wanted me to see if someone would switch seats with us.

So I went in and scouted out the area, I didn't see him, I know what he looks like only from pictures on Facebook. We went in and sat down at the assigned table full of strangers right before the dinner was about to start. Then, thankfully, a couple that my husband knew asked us if we wanted to join them at their table since there were open seats. We gladly joined them so at least we were by someone. someone we knew. That's when we saw that they had special cups that said something along the lines of my name is underscore my drinks are on the bride and groom and we were like, oh, that's interesting. This couple was an older couple that used to babysit my husband and sill, so not family but family friends. We looked around and saw that all the bridal party and family members had those cups

and they were personalized. We of course were never given, told, or offered ones. But guess who did have one? Yep, right again. The ex-girlfriend. Just another slight against me slash us. And to be clear, we were not expecting free drinks or to be on the bride and grooms tab or anything but the fact that we were not only excluded but basically cast away from the family table, hidden in the back, almost ambushed with an awkward A.F. Dinner. Telling me they still wanted me to make the cupcakes when they already had ordered them from another bakery in town, and everything else, we were just at a loss for words. We tried to make the best of it and just enjoy the night despite it all. We danced with his goddaughter, got really drunk, thanks to the lovely and

supportive bartenders at the lobby bar, and I made sure Mill saw me give one of my cupcakes to the goddaughter. I took the rest of the cupcakes and gave them to the lobby bartenders since they treated us more like family. Mill did try and come up to me and talk during the reception. She asked if I thought things would ever be okay between us again and if we could get back to the way things were before but I held true to my word and told her that this was not the time or place to talk things out. That this is Sills Day and I did not want to take away from that and make it about me, but that she made it very clear to me where I stand and that she does not consider me family and left it at that. After the wedding, we basically went low to no contact with them. Mill number two tried to facilitate a family meeting with everyone but that has yet to happen. It's been seven months and we still have not talked.

Zero contact from Sill. Mill has tried reaching out several times but has never truly apologized or owned up for anything. Just that she's sorry for the rift between us and that she was hurt too and basically victimizing herself. So that about sums it up, hopefully the update was worth the wait. Next story, found out my Mill was having an affair with an apprentice when I accidentally took her computer home. After telling my husband, we discovered she'd been cheating for years. I've been at a loss of what to do so I figured I should finally make a Reddit account and post here. I work at my husband's family business that builds custom homes.

I met my mill when she came into the design firm I worked at to pick out some options for a client. She and I hit it off and after she'd come in a few times she set me up with her son. Fast forward seven years and I coordinate all the builds and consult with clients on design for the 50-plus-year-old family business. My Mill is technically my boss, but we operate a lot like equals and she's been taking some steps back. She and I have always gotten along great

and she has felt like the mother I never got to have growing up. So last Friday I was packing up to go home and on the phone with my husband before he got a flight for an annual weekend away with friends. I was distracted and accidentally grabbed my Mill's computer instead of mine. I didn't realize it until I was home and wanted to look up some fixtures for a project in our own house.

Once I knew I texted her to let her know to which she said, no worries, she was unplugging this weekend anyway and to do whatever I needed on it. I was just browsing and unintentionally clicked on a linked email on a store's contact page. We use MacBooks and as a lot of Apple users know, that will usually pop up to send an email using your default mail app. I closed the draft and when I went to close her email app one saw an email from a recently hired apprentice titled Our Weekend Getaway Itinerary. I froze. I realized this was her personal email and I couldn't help myself but to click on it. I found both explicit and romantic messages

between this 22-year-old male apprentice and my married 47-year-old mother-in-law and boss. I slammed the computer shut and just went to bed, staring at the ceiling for quite a while. My husband was gone all weekend and only got home today. I had been spiraling all weekend on how to handle this. I certainly wasn't going to bring it up to my husband while he was gone. But I went to the office and had to see my mill yesterday and could barely keep my composure. I found every excuse to lock myself away in my office and be busy. So now my husband is back and I'm wondering what to do, do I tell him, how do I even do that? Do I go to his mom and confront her? Do I go to his dad and tell him, help? Additional info, OOP clarifies on her mill's age.

She was 40 when I met my husband, not when we married. And she was 18 when she had my husband. Teen Pregnancy Update 1, March 14th, 2025. I shouldn't have been surprised by the amount of people who told me to keep it to myself and that I was in the wrong for snooping. Yeah, I shouldn't have opened up the email, but I did so here we are. And here's an update.

My husband knew something was wrong after he got home. He can read me like a book. I told him I found out something I shouldn't have and told him everything. He was mortified. But as some said, he's glad I told him because keeping it from him would be worse. He knew more about that apprentice than I did. He was the son of a family friend and she's known him since he was a teenager. Hiring him was a favor to said friend.

My husband said he wanted to take him from there, which he did. He went snooping on his own. The computer is company property and he has ownership in it as well and can log in remotely at any time. He took screenshots of emails going back with The Apprentice over a year before he worked here. Then of ones with someone else that were two years old and then records of a second phone and hotel reservations. With all that, he took it to his dad. I don't know how that conversation went, but I do know that they went to get him tested. To add insult to his injury, he tested positive.

My Phil joined us for dinner instead of going home and we talked for quite a while. He was like a heartbroken teenager. He had no idea what was happening but years ago he had suspicious of her talking to other men but didn't have any proof and they dropped it after a brief fight. But now with undeniable proof of multiple affairs, he said it's over. He also has a pretty airtight pre-up that should make it a pretty easy divorce on paper. The family business is on his side and in the case of infidelity, she forfeited. she forfeits all ownership of the business and the house they built together. So I'm sorry to break it to you,

coming clean didn't destroy my marriage or my career. I told my husband mostly because we don't keep secrets from each other, it's a foundation of our marriage. But it's almost like reasonable adults put blame only where it's deserved, on the cheater. My fill is pissed and simultaneously devastated, and plans to get his ducks in a row before serving her with papers. Update 2, April 17th, 2025. So, here is an update.

My Phil did end up confronting my mill shortly after my post. He brought the proof that my husband found, his positive STI results, a copy of their pre-nup, and the divorce papers. From what he told us when he came over for dinner after, he was calm and just laid it all out on the table, literally. She obviously knew she was caught and just asked how he found out. He said it wasn't important and outlined what the next steps would look like. He was willing to make some concessions on their pre-up if she would come clean about everything and step down quietly.

I think he was so hurt by it all and he loved her so much that he just wanted this to be done and over, and he did still want to care for her. She fought for a bit but relented, so the divorce should go smoothly. She stepped down willingly from the business and moved out, but he did offer spousal support in their vacation home which she moved into, both things that were not included in the pre-nup. My Phil has spent a lot of time at our house or going out with my husband golfing or hiking. He's heartbroken and worried that it's all going a little too smooth, that she will suddenly change her attitude. But I personally think she just knows she got caught and messed up past any fixing it.

I'm struggling to come to terms with that version of her versus the one I got to know and love. But there's nothing I can do but be there for my Phil and husband. The two are really leaning on each other which is heartwarming for me to see. She reached out to me to apologize for putting me in the position and hopes we can still have a relationship. So at some point she found out that he found out from me. I told her not right now but I don't know what will happen in the future, but my husband is my number one priority right now.