Reddit Stories - CONTINUED covering the expenses for my spouse's HEALTHCARE overseas, but upon UNEXPECTEDLY showing

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #healthcareexpenses #spouse #overseas #unexpected #financialstressSummary: CONTINUED covering the expenses for my spouse's HEALTHCARE overseas, but upon UNEXPECTEDLY showing financial stress.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, healthcareexpenses, spouse, overseas, unexpected, financialstress, healthcare, expenses, overseashealthcare, financialburden, unexpectedsituation, familycare, medicalbills, financialsupport, internationalhealthcare, spousecareBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Continued covering the expenses for my spouse's healthcare overseas, but upon unexpectedly showing up on his special day, I discovered my closest companion expecting a child with him and anticipating their arrival. Me to keep funding their new family. Three days ago I walked into what I thought was my home and discovered that my husband Jeff and my childhood best friend Grace

were having an affair, and she's pregnant with his baby. The worst part is that they actually expected me to continue sending money from Europe to support them both while they played house together. I need to explain the background because this situation is completely insane. Jeff was diagnosed with a rare form of cystic fibrosis when he was 24, about two years into our marriage. The insurance company denied coverage for the experimental treatments he needed, claiming they were investigational and not medically necessary. We appealed multiple times and got denied every single time, and the lawyers we consulted said we had almost no chance of winning a lawsuit against them because the treatment protocols

weren't FDA approved yet. The medical bills were crushing us financially because the treatments cost around $4,000 per month, and that was just for the medications and not including the specialist visits and monitoring tests that happened every few weeks. We had already burned through our savings and were looking at bankruptcy when I got offered a position with an international consulting firm that would pay me almost triple what I was making domestically. The catch was that I had to be based in their Munich office for at least two years, possibly longer depending on the project timeline. Jeff and I discussed it extensively and decided that I should take the job because it was literally the only way we could afford to keep him alive. I was sending home about 40% of my salary every

month, which covered his medical expenses and allowed him to maintain a decent quality of life. The plan was for me to stay in Munich until we had enough money saved up to either find better insurance coverage or until the treatments became more widely available and covered by our original insurance. Since Jeff couldn't work full-time because of his condition and needed someone to help him with daily tasks and medical appointments, Grace volunteered to move in with him and take care of everything while I was overseas. Grace had been my best friend since we were eight years old, and I trusted her completely because she had always been there for both of us throughout Jeff's diagnosis and treatment journey. She had even helped us research treatment options and drove Jeff to

appointments when I was working extra hours to save money before I left for Europe. I thought this arrangement was perfect because Jeff would have someone reliable taking care of him. Grace would have free housing since she was between jobs and her lease was ending anyway, and I could focus on my work knowing that the most important person in my life was being looked after by someone who genuinely cared about his well-being. We video called every day and Jeff always seemed to be doing well, and Grace would give me updates about his appointments and medication schedules. had been planning to surprise Jeff by coming home early for his birthday, which is next week. I managed to get time off work and booked a flight without telling either of them because I wanted

it to be a complete surprise. When I walked through the front door using my key, I found them cuddled up on the couch watching a movie together, and Grace was obviously pregnant and showing quite a bit. The first thing Jeff said when he saw me was this isn't what it looks like which was absolutely ridiculous because Grace was clearly pregnant and they were holding hands. When I asked how long this had been going on, Grace started crying and said that they had developed feelings for each other about four months ago and that she was about five months pregnant with his baby. Jeff immediately started explaining that they had been planning to tell me about their relationship but wanted to wait until I came home permanently because they

didn't want to disrupt my work situation. He said that they had talked about it extensively and decided that the best solution would be for me to continue working in Munich and sending money home while they figured out how to make their new family work financially. Grace actually said that I should be understanding about their situation because she had been sacrificing her own life to take care of Jeff while I was living it up in Europe. She claimed that it was only natural for them to develop feelings for each other since they were spending so much time together and that I should appreciate everything she had done for our family instead of being upset about their relationship. The most unbelievable part was when Jeff suggested that we didn't need to get divorced immediately

because it would be more convenient for everyone if I remained his legal spouse so he could stay on my health insurance while we worked out a more permanent arrangement. He said that since Grace wasn't working and couldn't get insurance that would cover his condition, it made financial sense for me to stay married to him at least until after the baby was born and they could figure out their long-term plans. I told them both that they had completely lost their minds if they thought I was going to continue funding their affair and supporting their baby while they lived in my house and used my money to build a life together. Jeff got defensive and said that I was being unreasonable because his

medical condition meant he couldn't survive without the expensive treatments that my salary was paying for. Grace backed him up and said that breaking up their family would essentially be sentencing Jeff to death because they couldn't afford his medications without my financial support. I left the house immediately and am currently staying in a hotel while I figure out what to do next. I'm planning to file for divorce as soon as possible and I'm going to fight any attempt Jeff makes to get alimony from me. I'm also going to consult with a lawyer about whether I can recover any of the money I invested in our joint accounts and household expenses over the past year and a half while I was supporting him from overseas. The thing that makes me angriest is that they clearly planned this whole situation and were hoping to manipulate me into continuing to pay for their lifestyle while they started their new family together. grace even had the nerve to suggest that I should be happy for them because they found love during

such a difficult time, as if I was supposed to celebrate the fact that my husband and best friend betrayed me while I was working myself to death in a foreign country to keep him alive. I know that some people will probably say that I should have seen this coming or that long-distance relationships never work out, but I genuinely trusted both of them and thought we were all working toward the same goal of getting Jeff healthy enough for me to come home permanently. I never imagined that they would take advantage of my absence and my financial support to build a relationship behind my back and then expect me to keep funding it after they got caught. Right now I'm just trying to process everything that happened and figure out the best way

to protect myself legally and financially. I'm definitely getting divorced and I'm probably going to have to quit my job in Munich and come back to the United States permanently to deal with this situation. I just can't believe that the two people I trusted most in the world could betray me like this and then act like I was the one being unreasonable for not wanting to support their affair. Update 1. It's been a week since I've discovered Jeff and Grace's affair and I've made some significant progress on getting my life sorted out. I moved out of the hotel and I'm currently staying with my parents while I look for a divorce lawyer and figure out my next steps.

I found three different family law attorneys who specialize in divorce cases involving medical expenses and spousal support, and I'm meeting with all of them this week to decide who I want to represent me. Based on my initial consultations, it looks like I have a good chance of avoiding any alimony payments to Jeff because of the adultery and because I can prove that I was the primary financial contributor to our household while he was having an affair with grace. The lawyers also think I might be able to recover some of the money I sent home over the past year and a half, especially the funds that went into our joint savings account and household improvement projects. I kept detailed records of all my transfers and I have documentation showing

exactly how much money I contributed to our joint expenses while I was working overseas. I've also started the process of removing Jeff from my health insurance policy, which will take effect at the end of this month. I contacted my insurance company and explained that I'm filing for divorce due to adultery and they confirmed that I can remove him as soon as the divorce paperwork is filed. Jeff has tried calling me several times, but I'm not answering his calls and I've blocked both him and Grace on social media. My parents have been incredibly supportive and that they're letting me stay with them for as long as I need to get back on my feet. They've also offered to help me with legal expenses if necessary,

though I should be able to cover everything myself since I've been saving money while working in Munich. The situation with my job in Munich is actually doing okay than I expected. When I explained the situation to my supervisor, she said that the company has been wanting to expand their domestic operations anyway. They're going to let me transfer to their Chicago office with a pay cut and some benefits removed, so I won't look for a new job while dealing with the divorce proceedings. I've been thinking about how lucky I actually am that I caught them when I did, because Grace's pregnancy would have made their affair obvious eventually anyway.

If I had continued working in Munich for several more months without knowing what was happening, they could have been planning their story and possibly hiding assets or making financial decisions that would have been harder for me to reverse later. I also realized that Jeff and Grace probably thought they had more time to figure out how to break the news to me because my original plan was to stay in Munich for at least another six months. The fact that I surprised them by coming home early for Jeff's birthday meant they didn't have time to coordinate their story or prepare for my reaction. My parents had been helping me go through all the financial documents and join accounts

to make sure I have everything I need for the divorce proceedings. We discovered that Jeff had been using our joint credit card to buy things for grace, including prenatal vitamins and maternity clothes, which will definitely help my case when it comes to proving that he was spending marital assets on his affair partner. I'm filing for divorce this week and I'm also going to request temporary orders that will prevent him from accessing our joint accounts or making any major financial decisions while the divorce is pending. I haven't heard anything from Grace since the day I caught them, but my parents told me that her mother called yesterday to apologize for her

daughter's behavior. Apparently Grace's parents are completely disgusted by what she did and they've told her that they won't be supporting her financially during her pregnancy or helping with the baby once it's born. It's strange to think that just two weeks ago I thought I had a loving marriage and a loyal best friend who was helping me through a difficult time, and now I'm planning a divorce and cutting ties with someone who was part of my life for over 20 years. But I'm starting to feel optimistic about my future because I know I'll be much better off without people who are willing to betray my trust and take advantage of my generosity. Update 2, I filed for divorce yesterday and I've officially quit my job in Munich. The past week and a half,

has been a full of legal paperwork and major life decisions, but I'm feeling much more in control of my situation now that I've taken decisive action. My attorney filed the divorce petition along with requests for temporary orders that will protect my assets while the case is pending. We're asking the court to divide all marital property equally, but we're also requesting that I'd be reimbursed for the money I contributed to household expenses and Jeff's medical treatments while he was having an affair with grace. The temporary orders also include a provision that prevents Jeff from incurring any new debt in my name or accessing our joint accounts without my permission. My lawyer explained that this is standard practice in divorce cases involving adultery

because it prevents the cheating spouse from spending marital assets on their affair partner or hiding money before the final property Jeff's parents showed up at my parents' house two days ago wanting to talk to me about the divorce. At first they tried to convince me that Jeff and Grace's relationship was just a temporary phase brought on by the stress of his medical condition and my absence. His mother actually suggested that if I came back home and worked on our marriage, Jeff would realize that his feelings for grace weren't real and they would break up. When I explained that I wasn't interested in reconciling with someone who had been lying to me for months and expecting me to financially support his affair, Jeff's father got much more

direct about their real concerns. He admitted that they were worried about how Jeff would pay for his medical treatments without my income and insurance coverage. Jeff's parents then suggested that I should consider not divorcing Jeff immediately and instead work out some kind of arrangement where I would continue to help with his medical expenses until he could find another solution. His mother even suggested that Jeff should be required to break up with Grace and that Grace should be forced to terminate her pregnancy so that Jeff and I could work on rebuilding our marriage. I told them that their suggestions were completely inappropriate and that I wasn't going to sacrifice my own well-being or continue being manipulated just because Jeff has a

medical condition. His father got angry and said that I was being selfish and that I clearly never really cared about Jeff if I was willing to walk away when he needed me the most. I reminded them that I had spent the last year and a half working in a foreign country and sending home most of my salary to pay for Jeff's treatments while he was building a relationship with another woman. I also pointed out that they had never offered to help with his medical expenses themselves. Jeff's parents left after that conversation, but not before his mother said that she hoped I would reconsider my decision because they didn't know how else Jeff was going to survive without my financial support. It was obvious that they weren't concerned about my emotional

well-being or the betrayal I had experienced. They were just worried about losing the financial stability that my job provided for their son. The situation with Grace's family has been completely different. Her parents contacted me directly to apologize for their daughter's behavior. and to let me know that they were cutting off all financial support for her, including her college tuition and living expenses. Grace's mother told me that they were ashamed of what their daughter had done and that they couldn't understand how she could betray a friendship that had lasted over 20 years. Grace's parents also said that they wouldn't be providing any support for the baby once it's born because they don't approve of how the pregnancy came about. Her father told me that

they had raised Grace to have better values and that they were disappointed that she had chosen to destroy a marriage and a friendship for a relationship that might not even last. The financial impact on both Jeff and Grace is already becoming obvious. Without my income, Jeff can't afford his full treatment regimen and he's had to switch to a less expensive medication that isn't as effective. Grace has apparently been trying to find work but she's struggling because she's pregnant and doesn't have any recent job experience or marketable skills. My lawyer told me that Jeff will probably try to request spousal support during the

divorce proceedings, but she's confident that we can fight it successfully because of the adultery. She also said that the fact that Jeff was spending marital assets on grace during their affair will work in my favor when it comes to property division. I'm starting my new job in Chicago next week and I've found a small apartment near the office that I can afford comfortably on my own. It feels good to be making plans for my future instead of constantly worrying about other people's financial and medical needs. The hardest part about this whole situation has been accepting that the person I thought I was married to doesn't actually exist. The Jeff I thought I knew would never have taken advantage of my love and concern for his health to manipulate me into funding his affair.

The grace I thought was my best friend would never have betrayed 20 years of friendship for a relationship with my husband. But I'm starting to see that I'm actually better off finding out about their true characters now rather than continuing to sacrifice my own well-being for people who were willing to take advantage of my generosity and loyalty. I'm looking forward to building a new life where I'm not constantly worried about supporting other people who don't appreciate what I'm doing for them. Update 3, Jeff agreed to all the divorce terms and signed the paperwork a month ago, which means we just have to wait out the 60-day waiting period that's required in our state before the divorce becomes final. I'm honestly surprised that he didn't try to fight the property

division or request spousal support, but my lawyer thinks he probably realized that he didn't have a strong legal position given the circumstances of our separation. Jeff had been asking to meet with me in person to discuss the divorce terms, but I refused because I didn't see any reason to have a face-to-face conversation with someone who had been lying to me for months. I told him through our lawyers that he could communicate with me about necessary legal matters through his attorney, but that I wasn't interested in having any personal discussions about our marriage or his relationship with grace. Yesterday afternoon Jeff showed up at my parents' house even though I had made it clear that I didn't want to see him. My parents weren't home at the time and I was in the backyard reading when I heard someone calling my name from the front of the house.

When I walked around to see who it was, Jeff was standing on the front lawn yelling for me to come talk to him. He started apologizing and saying that he knew he had made mistakes but that our marriage could still be saved if I was willing to work with him. Then he said something that made me realize just how delusional he had become about the whole. whole situation. He told me that I was actually the reason that he and Grace had found each other because my absence had created a situation where they were forced to rely on each other for emotional support. Jeff claimed that if I had been a better wife and found a way to stay home and take care of him instead of taking the job in Munich, he never would have developed feelings for grace. He said that my decision to prioritize my career over my marriage had created the

circumstances that led to their affair, so I was partially responsible for what happened between them. That was when I completely lost my temper and went outside to confront him. I told him that I had taken the job in Munich specifically to pay for his medical treatments and keep him alive, and that blaming me for his affair was the most manipulative and ridiculous thing I had ever heard. I also reminded him that Grace was supposed to be my best friend and that they had both betrayed my trust while I was working myself to death to support them. Jeff kept interrupting me and trying to justify his behavior by saying that I didn't understand how difficult it had been for him. to be sick and alone while I was living in Europe. He said that Grace had been there for him in ways

that I couldn't be because of the distance, and that their relationship had developed naturally because they were spending so much time together. I told him that plenty of couples manage long-distance relationships without cheating on each other, and that he was making excuses for behavior that was completely unacceptable regardless of the circumstances. I also pointed out that he and Grace had been planning to continue their affair indefinitely while expecting me to keep paying for their lifestyle, which showed that they weren't sorry about what they had done, they were just sorry they got caught. When Jeff started saying that I was being unreasonable and that I should be more

understanding about his medical situation, I slapped him across the face and told him to get off my parents' property and never contact me again outside of necessary legal communications. He looked shocked that I had hit him, but he got in his car and left without saying anything else. I called my lawyer immediately after Jeff left to let her know what had happened and to make sure that his showing up at my parents' house unannounced wouldn't cause any problems with the divorce proceedings. She said that his behavior could actually work in my favor if he continues to try to contact me directly instead of going through his attorney, because it shows that he's not respecting my wishes or following proper legal procedures. My parents came home about an hour

after Jeff left and I told them what had happened. My father said that he wished he had been there because he would have told Jeff to leave immediately instead of letting him stay on the property long enough to upset me. My mother was worried that Jeff might try to come back. So we're going to install a security camera system and contact the police if he shows up again. I'm feeling better about slapping Jeff even though I know that physical violence isn't usually the best way to handle conflicts. But hearing him blame me for his affair and act like I was the one who had caused our marriage problems was so infuriating that I couldn't control my reaction. He had been taking advantage of my love and financial support for months while building a relationship with my

best friend, and then he had the nerve to suggest that it was somehow my fault. The 60-day waiting period should be over by the end of next month, which means I'll officially be divorced and completely free of any legal ties to Jeff. I'm already making plans for how I want to rebuild my life once this whole situation is behind me, and I'm excited about the possibility of starting fresh without having to worry about supporting someone who was taking advantage of my generosity. Update 4, the 60-day waiting period is almost over and I'll be officially divorced from Jeff next week. I've been settling into my new life in Chicago and I'm really happy with how everything has worked out despite the difficult circumstances that brought me here.

I found out yesterday that Jeff and Grace broke up about two weeks ago. According to what I heard through mutual friends, they couldn't handle the financial stress of living together without family support and they started fighting constantly about money and their future plans. Grace is still pregnant and planning to have the baby, but she's moved back in with her parents who apparently decided to support her through the pregnancy even though they disapprove of how it happened. Jeff sent me an email yesterday that was so ridiculous I almost couldn't believe he actually wrote it. He blamed me for the fact that their baby is going to grow up in a broken home because my decision to divorce him forced Grace to raise the child as a single mother. He said that if I had

been more understanding about their relationship and found a way to work out a financial arrangement, that allowed him to continue his medical treatments, he and Grace could have stayed together and provided a stable home for their child. The email also included a long paragraph about gender double standards and how unfair it was that I faced no consequences for slapping him while he was being punished for his emotional mistake with Grace. Jeff claimed that if the situation had been reversed and he had slapped me, everyone would have been calling for him to be arrested, but that people seemed to think my violence was justified

because I was the wrong party in the affair. I didn't respond to Jeff's email because there was no point in engaging with his attempts to make me feel guilty for decisions that he and Grace made without considering the consequences. The fact that their relationship fell apart as soon as they lost financial support just proves that their feelings for each other weren't strong enough to overcome practical challenges, which makes his claims about finding true love seem even more ridiculous. My new job in Chicago has been going really well and I'm making friends with my coworkers and enjoying having a social life again. It's been liberating to not constantly worry about medical bills and insurance coverage and to have my entire salary available for my own needs and goals instead of sending most of it overseas to support someone who is betraying my trust. I'm looking forward to finalizing the divorce in a few months and officially closing this chapter of my life. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm living for myself instead of sacrificing everything for people who didn't deserve my generosity.