Reddit Stories - COVERED most of the EXPENSES for our annual HOLIDAY getaway with the family

Episode Date: July 25, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familyvacation #holidaygetaway #expensescovered #familytime #vacationmemoriesSummary: We covered most of the expenses for our annual holiday getaway with the family, creating unforgettable memories and strengthening our bond through shared experiences and quality time together.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familyvacation, holidaygetaway, expensescovered, familytime, vacationmemories, familybonding, qualitytime, sharedexperiences, unforgettablememories, annualgetaway, familyfun, makingmemories, travelwithfamily, familyadventures, budgettravelBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Covered most of the expenses for our annual holiday getaway with the family and organized all the details, but each person arranged their own individual travel arrangements and began the trip without me, prompting me to call off the entire plan. I planned four. I'm 28 and I've always been the family planner and the one with the most stable income among my siblings. My parents are retired and live on a fixed income. My older brother William is 31 and works construction but his work is seasonal so money gets tight in winter,

and my younger sister Gloria is 25 and just finished grad school so she's still paying off loans and working part-time while job hunting. I work in tech and make decent money, so I've gotten into this pattern over the years of organizing family trips and covering more than my fair share of expenses because I want us all to spend time together and I know money is tight for everyone else. This started about six months ago when my mom mentioned how much she missed the big family Christmases we used to have when we were kids, and how it would be nice to do something special since Gloria had just graduated and William's girlfriend Martha might be joining our family soon. I got excited about the idea and started looking into options for a family Christmas getaway.

After researching different places, I found this amazing mountain cabin that could sleep eight people comfortably, had a huge kitchen for cooking together, a fireplace, hot tub, the whole works. It was in Colorado and the pictures looked incredible. The total cost for a week-long stay over Christmas was $5,500, which honestly made me gulp a little, but I thought about how much joy it would bring everyone and how we hadn't all been together for a holiday in almost three years. I brought up the idea during our family group chat and everyone got super excited. Mom started talking about all the cookies she would bake, William said he and Martha were definitely in, Gloria was thrilled about having a white Christmas, and Dad was already planning what

movies we'd watch by the fire. Here's where I made what I thought was a generous offer. I told everyone I really wanted to make this happen for our family, and since I knew money was tight for everyone, I would cover the majority of the cost myself. I suggested that I'd pay $4,000 of the $5,500, and we could spend $1,000. split the remaining $1,500 four ways between my parents, William and Martha, Gloria, and myself. That meant everyone else would only need to contribute $375 each, which seemed much more manageable for their budgets. So my total would be $4,375 out of $5,500, almost 80% of the cost. Everyone was incredibly grateful and said it was so generous of me. William said there was no way he and

Martha could have afforded the trip otherwise. Gloria got teary-eyed saying it meant the world to her to have a family Christmas after such a stressful year with grad school, and my parents kept thanking me for making it possible for the whole family to be together. I felt really good about being able to give this experience to my family. I put the whole $5,500 on my credit card and got confirmation for the cabin, with the understanding that everyone would pay me their $375 portions before the trip. Over the next few months, I handled all the planning. I researched activities in the area, found good restaurants, planned out meals we could cook together,

coordinated everyone's time off from work. Everyone seemed really engaged and excited, contributing ideas and talking about how much fun it was going to be. About two months before the trip, I brought up collecting everyone's $375 contributions so I could pay down my credit card. Everyone agreed and thanked me again for covering such a large portion of the cost. As we got closer to the trip, I started noticing some concerning signs, but I tried to ignore them because I didn't want to be paranoid or controlling. About three weeks before we were supposed to leave, I asked everyone for their $375 contributions. William said he and Martha were still getting the money together and asked if they could pay me back after Christmas when he got his

next big construction job. Gloria said she'd had some unexpected expenses come up and asked if she could pay me in installments over the next few months. My parents said they could pay their portion but wondered if they could wait until after the trip since they had some medical bills that month. I was frustrated but didn't want to be the bad guy who ruins Christmas over money, so I said fine, everyone could pay me back after the trip. Even though it was only $375 each, I figured they were all good for it eventually and I didn't want to stress everyone outright before what was supposed to be a fun family vacation that I was already covering most of the cost for. Then about a week before the trip, things started getting weird with the planning.

I had created this detailed itinerary with different activities for each day, restaurant reservations, grocery lists for our cooking nights, everything or... Hi, I'm Darren Marler, host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt. Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy. to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ads into your episodes, no editing required.

And with Spreker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Sprinker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding a podcast. another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Sprinker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid

while doing it, check out Spreker.com. That's S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com. ...organized and shared with everyone. But the real problem started about four days before we were supposed to leave. I texted the group chat asking. everyone to confirm their flight details so we could coordinate airport pickup times, and that's when everything fell apart. William texted back saying that he and Martha had decided to drive instead of fly because it would be cheaper, and they were planning to leave a day early to make a road trip out of it. Gloria said she had actually booked a flight that got in two days before everyone else because her friend could only hang out certain days. My parents said they were still planning to fly on the original

day but they had booked a different flight because it was $100 cheaper per person. I was honestly shocked and hurt. I pointed out that we had specifically planned this as a family trip where we'd all travel together and spend the whole week together, and now everyone was making separate plans that didn't involve me. I said it felt like they were treating this like individual vacations where they just happened to be staying in the same place, rather than the family trip I had envisioned and was paying 80% of the cost for. That's when things got really tense. Williams said I was being controlling

and that it didn't matter when everyone arrived as long as we were all there for Christmas. Gloria said she didn't understand why I was making such a big deal about travel arrangements when the important thing was spending time together. My parents said they were just trying to save money and didn't think it mattered.

I tried to explain that I had put a lot of work into planning this trip as a family experience, and I was contributing over $4,000 of my own money specifically because I wanted us to have a special family vacation together. I said it felt like everyone was treating the trip as individual vacation accommodations that I was subsidizing, rather than the family experience I had intended and was largely paying for. William got defensive and said I was being dramatic, that they were all still coming to the trip and I was acting like they had cancelled on me. Gloria said I was being unreasonable and that everyone was still excited about the trip. But I could tell from their

responses that they didn't really understand why I was upset, and that made me feel even worse. The next day, I decided to try to salvage things and send a message asking if we could at least coordinate so that everyone would be at the cabin by a certain time on Christmas Eve, so we could have a proper family dinner together and do our gift exchange. I said I would adjust my own travel plans to make sure I was there in time regardless of when everyone else arrived. I didn't get responses from anyone for almost 12 hours, and then William texted back saying that he and Martha had already made dinner reservations at a restaurant in town for Christmas Eve and couldn't change them. Gloria said she might be spending Christmas Eve with her friend and would try to get to the cabin

by Christmas morning. My parents said they would be their Christmas Eve, but they had booked an early flight home the day after Christmas because they got a good deal and didn't want to stay the whole week. At this point I was really upset and felt like everyone was treating this trip like it was just a convenient place to stay while they did their own separate vacation activities, despite my massive financial contribution to make this family experience possible. I called my mom directly because I thought maybe there was some miscommunication happening in the group chat. When we talked, she seemed surprised that I was so upset and said she thought I would be happy

that everyone was still coming to the trip even if the timing was a little different originally planned. I tried to explain that I had planned and paid for 80% of this trip specifically so our family could spend quality time together, and it felt like everyone was treating it like a subsidized vacation rental while they pursued their own vacation agendas. She said she understood my disappointment, but that I was expecting too much coordination from everyone and that the important thing was that we'd all be in the same place. After that call, I felt even more frustrated because it seemed like no one in my family understood why I was upset, and I started wondering if maybe I was being unreasonable. But then I thought about the fact that I had spent months planning this trip,

put over $4,000 of my own money into making it possible, arranged my own work schedule around the family plans, and now everyone was basically treating it like individual vacation accommodations that I was providing for free. Two days before the original departure date, I woke up to a group message from Williams saying that he and Martha were leaving that morning for their road trip and would see everyone at the cabin. A few hours later, Gloria texted saying she was at the airport about to board her early flight. That afternoon, my parents texted saying they had decided to change their flight to leave that evening instead of the next day because they were excited to start their vacation. I was at work when I got all these messages, and I felt this

horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. I realized that everyone in my family was starting their trip without me, even though I was the one who had planned and was paying for 80% of everything. I texted the group asking if anyone wanted to coordinate meeting up when I arrived the next day as originally planned, but no one responded for hours. Finally, William texted back saying they were driving and had bad cell service, but they'd see me when I got there. Gloria sent a quick message saying she... Hi, I'm Darren Marler, host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt. Spreaker is the all-in-one plat, platform. form that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere from Apple

podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ads into your episodes. No editing required. And with Spreker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career.

Sprinker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Sprinker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out spreeker.com. That's S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com. It was busy but was excited to see me soon. My parents didn't respond at all. That evening, I was sitting at home, packing for a trip that suddenly felt completely different from what I had planned and largely paid for. I kept thinking about how I was going to show up to this cabin

where everyone had already been having their own separate vacations for a day or two, and how the family trip I had envisioned and contributed over $4,000 to create was never going to happen. I barely slept that night because I kept going back and forth between feeling hurt and angry, and wondering if I was overreacting to what maybe was just poor communication and different travel preferences. The next morning, I was supposed to fly out in the afternoon. I was feeling anxious and upset, but I kept telling myself that maybe once we were altogether things would be better. Around noon, I texted the group asking how everyone was doing and if there was anything I should pick up on my way from the airport. William texted back saying he and Martha were having

an amazing time and had found this great hiking trail, and they were planning to spend the day exploring the area. Gloria sent a selfie with her friend and said they were having so much fun catching up and were going to go skiing that afternoon. My parents sent a message saying they had checked into the cabin and it was beautiful, and they were going to drive into town to look around. Reading those messages, I had this moment of clarity where I realized that everyone was already on their separate vacations. Using the cabin I had paid $4,375 for as their individual vacation base. I would be arriving to a place where everyone had already settled into their own routines and plans that didn't include me, despite my massive financial contribution to make this family experience possible. I sat there looking at my packed suitcase and my printed boarding pass, and I made a decision that I'm still not sure was right or wrong.

I texted the group and said that I wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be able to make the trip. I said I hoped everyone had a great time and that we could plan something else when everyone got back. almost immediately, my phone started ringing. William called first and seemed genuinely concerned, asking if I was okay and if I needed anything. I told him I just felt really sick and didn't want to travel. He said that was probably smart and that I should rest up. Gloria called next and said she was sorry I wasn't feeling well, and asked if there was anything she could do.

I said I just needed to sleep it off. My parents called that evening and my mom was worried about me, being sick alone. I felt terrible lying to them, but I also felt like if I tried to explain the real reason I wasn't coming, it would just create drama and ruin everyone else's trip that I had largely paid for. For the next two days, I got occasional texts from everyone saying they hoped I was feeling better and sharing pictures from their activities. William and Martha sent photos from their hiking adventures, Gloria sent pictures of her skiing with her friend, my parents sent photos of the cabin and the local Christmas market they visited.

Everyone seemed to be having a great time enjoying the vacation I had made possible. But then on Christmas Eve, I started getting different kinds of messages. Gloria texted asking when I thought I'd be feeling well enough to join them, because she was hoping we could do our gift exchange soon. My parents called asking if I was feeling better and if I wanted them to set aside some of the Christmas dinner they were planning. William texted asking if I was still planning to come for the second half of the week. I realized that everyone was expecting me to show up at some point, even though they had all started

the trip without me and had been doing their own separate activities. It felt like they wanted me to come finish paying for and organizing the family trip they had already been enjoying on their own terms. I decided to be honest, so I sent a message to the group chat explaining that I wasn't actually sick, but that I had felt hurt and left out when everyone made separate travel plans and started the trip without including me in the coordination. I said it felt a lot of like everyone was treating the trip I had planned and largely paid for as individual vacation accommodations rather than a family experience. The response was not what I expected. William immediately called me and was angry, saying I had lied to everyone and made them worry about me

for no reason. He said I was being manipulative and that everyone had still been planning to spend time with me once I arrived. Gloria texted saying she was hurt that I hadn't been honest about my feelings and that she felt like I was punishing everyone for not following my exact plans. My parents called and my dad was really upset. He said I had been dishonest and that I was ruining Christmas for everyone. He said they had been looking forward to seeing me and couldn't understand why I was creating problems over travel schedules. In all of these conversations, I tried to explain that I felt like everyone had prioritized their own individual vacation plans over the family trip we had supposedly planned together, and that it hurt to realize I was apparently

the only one who had been invested in us actually spending the trip as a family. I pointed out that I had contributed over $4,000 specifically to make this family experience possible. But no one seemed to understand my perspective, and everyone kept focusing on the fact that I had lied about being sick. Then my mom called me back and said something that really stung. She said that I had offered to pay for most of the trip, and everyone had been grateful, but that didn't mean I got to control how everyone else enjoyed their vacation. She said I was being selfish and trying to manipulate everyone into following my exact plans just because I had paid for most of the trip.

That conversation really hurt because it made me realize that my family saw my financial contribution as just me choosing to pay for something, rather than me making a huge sacrifice so that we could all have a family experience together. It felt like they thought I had paid for the trip as a gift with no expectations, rather than understanding that I had contributed over $4,000 because I... Hi, I'm Darren Marler. Host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt.

Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere, from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreaker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ads into your episodes. No editing required. And with Spreker's programmatic ads, they'll bring... the ads to you and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time

career. Sprinker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Spreaker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out Spreaker. com. That's S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com. I wanted us to have a specific kind of experience together. After that call, I was angry and hurt and I made a decision that I knew would probably make everything worse, but I felt like my generosity was being completely taken for granted.

I had contributed over $4,000 of my own money specifically to create a family experience, and everyone was treating it like a subsidized individual vacation rental. I logged into the Airbnb website and cancelled our reservation. Since it was Christmas Eve and we were well within the strict cancellation period, I lost the entire $5,500, including the $4,375 I had contributed as a gift and the $1,125 in contributions I would never collect. But I was so angry and felt so betrayed that I didn't care about the money anymore. I just wanted everyone to understand that if they didn't want to participate in the family,

trip I had planned and largely paid for, then there wouldn't be a family trip at all. I didn't tell anyone immediately what I had done. I just turned off my phone and tried to have a quiet Christmas alone, which was honestly pretty depressing but felt better than continuing to fight with my family. I turned my phone back on the day after Christmas and had about 30 missed calls and countless text messages. Apparently everyone had been locked out of the cabin Christmas morning and had discovered that the reservation had been cancelled. The Airbnb The NB host had been apologetic but explained that the booking had been cancelled by the person who made it, and there was nothing they could do since it was a holiday and the cabin was now booked by other guests.

My family had to scramble to find hotel rooms on Christmas Day, which was both expensive and limited in options. William and Martha ended up driving home that day because they couldn't afford hotel rooms for the rest of the week. Gloria had to cancel her plans with her friend and also head home early. My parents managed to find a hotel room, but it cost them almost as much as their original $375 contribution would have cost. The messages I received were not kind. William sent a long text calling me selfish and vindictive, saying I had ruined Christmas for everyone and cost them all money they couldn't afford to lose.

Gloria called me manipulative and said she couldn't believe I would punish everyone for not catering to my exact demands. My parents were devastated and disappointed, and my dad said he never thought I would do something so cruel to my own family. But what really got to me was that in all of these angry messages, no one acknowledged that I had lost over $4,000 of my own money, or that I had spent months planning a trip that everyone had essentially abandoned while still expecting me to pay for it. Everyone was focused on how my cancellation had inconvenienced them, but no one seemed to recognize that their actions had hurt and inconvenienced me too, especially given my massive financial contribution. So Ida for doing this?

Update it's been about a week since my last post and I wanted to update everyone on what's been happening because the situation has gotten more complicated and I'm honestly still processing everything. First off, I want to address some of the comments on my original post. A lot of people were asking why I didn't just talk to my family more directly before canceling the trip, and looking back, I think you're right that I should have been more assertive about my concerns earlier

in the process. I tend to avoid confrontation and I was probably hoping that things would work out without me having to be the bad guy who puts their foot down about plans. Several people also pointed out that I should have been clearer about expectations when I first offered to pay for such a large portion of the trip, and I think that's fair criticism too. I was trying to be generous and make it possible for everyone to participate, but I didn't clearly communicate that my generosity was tied to specific expectations about how the trip would go. Anyway, here's what's happened since I posted. The day after Christmas, my mom called me.

I was expecting another angry conversation, but she was actually much calmer than she had been before. She said that after they had all gotten home and had time to think about what happened, she was starting to understand my perspective better. She explained that when they were all scrambling to find places to stay on Christmas morning, William had made some comment about how at least they didn't have to stick to my itinerary anymore, and that's when it clicked for her that maybe they had been treating the trip differently than I had intended. She said she realized that from my perspective, it probably felt like everyone had taken advantage of my planning and massive financial contribution while not caring about the family

experience I was trying to create. My mom also admitted that she thought they had all gotten a little carried away with their individual plans and had lost sight of the fact that this was supposed to be a family trip that I was largely funding. She said she could see how it would feel hurtful for me to watch everyone make separate arrangements while still expecting me to handle all the planning and cover 80% of the costs. She asked if I would be willing to talk to my dad, because he was still really angry about the money they had lost on the hotel, but she thought he needed to hear my side of things. I agreed to talk to him, and that conversation was harder but ultimately helpful. My dad was definitely still upset about the financial impact, especially since they're on a fixed income

and the unexpected hotel cost was a real strain for them. But when I explained how I had felt watching everyone make individual plans for the trip I had planned and contributed over $4,000 too, he started to understand why I had been so hurt. He said he hadn't realized that their decision to take a different flight was part of a pattern that made me feel excluded from my own family trip that I was largely paying for. He also admitted that he had been thinking of my financial contribution as just me being generous, and hadn't considered that I was making that huge contribution specifically because I wanted us to have a particular kind of experience together. When he thought about it that way, he could see why it would

feel like everyone was taking advantage of my generosity. We talked about the cancellation, and I admitted that it was probably an extreme reaction that I made when I was feeling really hurt and angry. My dad said he wished I had talked to them about my concerns before it got to that point, but he could understand why I felt like drastic action was the only way to get everyone's attention when I had contributed so much money. By the end of that conversation, my dad said he wasn't happy about how things had played out, but he could see that everyone had contributed to the problem and that I hadn't just been trying to ruin everyone's Christmas for no reason. My conversations with Gloria and William have been more complicated. Gloria called me a few days after Christmas

and she was still pretty upset, but she was more hurt than angry. She said she felt like I had punished her for something she didn't understand she was doing wrong, and that if I had been clearer about my expectations, she would have tried to accommodate them. I explained to Gloria that I had tried to bring up my concerns when everyone started making separate travel plans, but that I had felt like no one was really listening to me or taking my concerns seriously, especially given how much I was contributing financially. She said she remembered me being upset about the travel arrangements, but she hadn't understood that it was part of a bigger issue about how everyone was approaching the trip.

Gloria also said that she had been excited about seeing her friend and hadn't thought about how that would affect the family dynamic of the trip. She said she could see now how it would look like she was prioritizing her friend over our family time, especially since I had made such an effort to plan and pay for most of the trip. We ended that conversation on a better note, with Gloria saying she was sorry that she hadn't been more considerate of my feelings and that she wanted to find a way to repair our relationship. She also offered to pay me the $375 she had originally agreed to contribute,

even though the trip didn't happen, which I appreciated given that I had lost over $4,000. William has been the hardest to deal with. When he finally called me, he was still angry and defensive. He said that he still thought I had overreacted and that canceling the trip was vindictive and manipulative. He said that he and Martha had been looking forward to the trip for months and that I had ruined it over what he saw. Hi, I'm Darren Marler. Host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt.

Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ads into your episodes. No editing required. And with Spreker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you. and you get paid for every download.

This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Spreaker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Spreaker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it,

check out Spreaker.com. That's S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com. It's minor issues with coordination. I tried to explain to William that it wasn't just about coordination, but about feeling like everyone had prioritized their individual preferences over the family experience we had planned together and that I was largely funding. I said that when he and Martha made plans to drive instead of fly, extend their trip into a road trip, make separate dinner reservations,

and spend most of their time hiking together rather than with the family. It felt like they were using the cabin I had paid $4,375 for as a base for their own romantic getaway rather than participating in a family trip. William got defensive and said that he hadn't realized I expected him and Martha to spend every minute of the trip doing family activities, and that he thought there would be time for both family activities and couple activities. He said he felt like I was trying to control every aspect of everyone's vacation. I told William that I wasn't trying to control everything, but

that I had planned and paid for 80% of a family trip, and when everyone started making plans that didn't include the rest of the family, it stopped feeling like a family trip at all. I said that if he and Martha had wanted to take a romantic getaway, they should have planned and paid for their own trip, rather than expecting me to subsidize their vacation while they ignored the family aspects. That conversation got pretty heated, and William said some things about me being controlling and manipulative that really hurt. He also said that just because I made more money didn't mean I got to dictate how everyone else spent their time, which I think missed the point of what I was trying to say. We ended that call without really resolving anything,

and William hasn't reached out to me since then. He also hasn't offered to pay anything toward the money I lost, despite having agreed to contribute $375. Martha sent me a text apologizing for her part in the situation and saying she hoped we could work things out. but she also said that she felt like I had put William in an impossible position by expecting him to choose between family time and couple time. The money situation has been another source of tension. Since I cancelled the trip, I lost the entire $5,500, my $4,375 contribution plus the $1,125 in contributions I would never collect. Gloria has offered to pay me the $375 she had originally agreed to contribute, even though the trip didn't happen, which I really appreciate.

My parents have also offered to pay their $375 portion, though I know it's a strain for them financially. William hasn't offered to pay anything. And when I brought it up during our phone call, he said that since I was the one who canceled the trip, I should be responsible for the financial consequences. He said that he and Martha had been willing to pay their portion for the trip as planned, but they shouldn't have to pay for a trip that I canceled in what he called a tantrum. Gloria pointed out that since no one had actually paid me yet, it's kind of like I paid over $4,000 to teach everyone a lesson about communication and expectations, which is a pretty

expensive lesson. She's not wrong about that. My mom has suggested that we try to plan another family trip for spring break, with better communication and clearer expectations from the beginning. She said that everyone learned something from this experience and that we could do better next time. I'm open to that idea, but I'm also worried about getting into the same dynamic where I end up doing all the planning and paying for most of the trip while everyone else makes individual decisions that don't consider the group. Gloria has suggested that if we do plan another trip,

we should have everyone pay their portions up front before anyone makes any reservations, and that we should have a clear agreement about what kind of trip we're planning and what everyone's expectations are. That seems like a good idea to me, especially given how much money I lost this time. I'm still not sure if I was the asshole in this situation. I think I could have handled my frustration better and been more direct about my expectations earlier in the process. But I also think my family took advantage of my generosity and didn't consider how their individual decisions affected the experience I was trying to create and largely fund for

all of us. What I do know is that this whole experience has made me realize that I need to be clearer about my expectations when I'm planning things for my family, especially when I'm contributing such a large amount of money. I can't assume everyone shares my vision for how things should go just because they seem excited about the general idea and are grateful for my financial contribution.