Reddit Stories - COVERED the MAJORITY of the housing costs as my UPCOMING factory resides with

Episode Date: February 8, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #housingcosts #factorylife #financialsupport #communityhelp #budgeting  Summary: A person discusses their experience of covering the majority of housing costs due to the upcoming factory's proximity. They highlight the financial implications and community dynamics involved, emphasizing the importance of support systems in managing expenses related to living arrangements and work opportunities.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, housingcosts, factorylife, financialsupport, communityhelp, budgeting, workopportunities, expenses, livingarrangements, costmanagement, supportsystems, localcommunity, factoryproximity, financialplanning, housingassistance, economicimpactBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Episode with two stories, first part. I hope you enjoy this story. Covered the majority of the housing costs as my upcoming factory resides with us at no charge and criticizes me every day. Upon my choice to relocate, she discovered the extent of my contributions. Actually paid and suddenly wants me around. Me, F-29, and my ex-fiance, M27, have been living together for about 1.5 years. Fiancee got his undergraduate degree, worked for a couple years and then decided to get an MBA, which is how he ended up in our city. We moved and together after he finished his MBA program.

Fiancé is from the Midwest and his mom has always wanted him to move back. When he told her he was staying here she was heartbroken. I went to college and got my degree in a STEM field. After I graduated, I got a job with my current company and moved to the city where we currently live. It's a big international company with multiple locations in the U.S. and international. I love my job, I like the company I work for, and the pay is pretty good. All in all, a pretty good deal. During COVID my office shut down and we all went WFH. After COVID they decided not to reopen this office so I've been 100% WFH since early 2020. I currently make considerably more than him, mainly because I've been working for seven years and I'm in tech. I had to be a

been living by myself in a one-bedroom apartment and just had my office set up in the living room since it was just me. When we moved and together, we decided to get a two-bedroom apartment so I could use the extra room as an office. Because of this I was paying two-thirds of the rent and he paid one-third. We split everything else 50 to 50. So the problem started this past May. Fiance's mom told him she wanted to move to our city to be closer to him. She asked if she could stay with us while she looked for a job and got settled. She's a teacher so figured she'd be able to get a teaching job pretty quickly. Because of that I didn't really mind her staying with us as I figured it would just be for a couple months over the summer. Since I thought it would only be for a couple

months, I moved my office into a corner of our bedroom and fiancé bought a bed to put in the second bedroom. The problem is she never applied for any teaching positions and has been living with us for six months now. She and I have really been struggling with each other since she moved in. I can't make her understand that I work full-time. She constantly interrupts while I'm working, which is bad enough, but she even interrupts when I'm on team's calls. She always asks me to take her places BC she doesn't like to drive in our city. She has pretty outdated views of gender roles and is constantly giving me a hard time for not doing more around the house and making fiancé help with chores, do his own laundry, etc. The constant criticism and insults are just really wearing me down.

And I hate having my office shoved in a corner of the bedroom. Back in September I told my fiancé that since it looks like his mom is going to stay a while, we should split the rent three ways. He told me she can't afford that since she has to conserve money until she gets a job. I told him I wasn't happy paying extra for a bedroom I can't use so finally he said we could do a 50-to-50 split. I could afford to pay the extra, but I hate the idea of funding her lifestyle. Every time I complain about her or the situation he says he agrees but doesn't know what to do because he can't kick out his mom.

And he won't talk to her about the way she treats me or how she behaves. When I ask what the long-term plan is, he just says he doesn't know. I've thought about giving him an ultimatum to tell her she has to leave, but I think he just end up resenting me for essentially putting him mom on the street. So one of my girlfriends is losing her roommate the end of February. Our lease renews June 1st. I'm very strongly considering moving out of our current apartment and moving in with her. I can afford to pay my part of rent on our current apartment and also half the rent at my friend's apartment.

It's not ideal but I'm not a big spender so it's doable. The issue is, if he and his mom aren't able to pay for one-third the rent each, there is now a way they could cover the whole thing on their own. But I can't live like this anymore. So I'm pretty sure this is what I'll do, but I wanted to see if people thought I'd be the awe for leaving them like this. Comments where Op has replied, commenter, if you move and pay rent for your old place and your new place then you are foolish. There is no incentive for things to change because you are just letting it go and not putting

your foot down. I suggest telling boyfriend that either his mother is out in 60 days or you are. He has no problem letting her disrespect you in your home and has no idea how long Mommy dearest is planning to stay. Let me tell you she plans on staying permanently with your funding her lifestyle because your boyfriend has no spine. NTA. If there was ever a time for an ultimatum, this is it. Oops, sorry, I should have made that more clear. I'm on the lease in my current apartment, so I can't just up and leave. But I can afford to pay half the rent at the new place and have the rent at the old place for three months until my current lease is up. To another commenter,

I'd only pay rent at the old place until the lease is up in June, so basically three months. And only because I don't want my credit trashed. Commenter, downvoted, it sounds like it would be best for you, TBAH. Mum isn't evicted, you guys can keep dating whilst living separately, and your work will not be disturbed. Or why not just find a studio flat for Mum? I suggested we find something for her and even suggested we could help her out with rent until she gets a job, but I get the same answer no matter what. She has to conserve money so she can't spend any more than she already is. Which is zero.

Commenter, is he going to be your ex because of this situation or he was already an ex? Either way, nta. But I was just thinking if you move out, maybe he will see what he lost and be more motivated to get rid of his mum. That way he won't resent you for it? Boop, he's probably going to be my ex because of this situation. Before she showed up, everything was good. But since she got it shit show. Honestly, at this point were just two roommates that happened to sleep in the same bed.

I can't even remember the last time we had personal time because she's always around, always watching TV in the living room on the other side of our bedroom wall. Update 1, February 3, 2025. I posted here last week about the situation I'm in living with my soon-to-be ex-fiancee and his mom. I started off trying to reply to everyone's comments and keep up, but honestly I just got completely overwhelmed with all the comments. First off, I want to thank everyone for their feedback in comments,

even the ones that were that were kind of harsh. Actually, probably especially the ones that were kind of harsh. I really needed some tough love to make me realize that I was letting my STBX and his mom take advantage of me. The more comments I read, the more pissed off I got. Honestly, I think I'm more pissed at myself for allowing this to happen and not advocating for myself more. This past weekend I got my STBX alone so we could talk. Which was actually harder than it should have been BC.

His mum always tries to tag along when we do anything. Going through all the comments everyone left and the PM's people sent really helped me decide how to approach this. and also brought up a lot of good questions I should have thought of myself. Back to the discussion with the ex, I wanted to give him one more chance to pick us over his mum, not because I thought he would, but I just wanted to be able to tell myself I give him the opportunity. I explained again about how unhappy I am with the situation, how it's affecting my work because of her constant interruptions and just being unhappy and uncomfortable that I'm forced to work out of a corner in our bedroom.

And I reminded him that until a few months ago I was paying the majority of the rent and being that makes so much more than him, it's really my salary that keeps us all afloat. And I also brought up, again, the way she treats me and talks to me. And he replied the same way he has been. He agrees it's not right how she acts and that it's really uncomfortable for us all, WTF. I don't care if she's uncomfortable. Previously I would have dropped it there. But this time I told him how angry and disappointed I was that he let me pay for two-thirds of the rent when she first moved and how unfair it was that I'm still paying for half when there are three people living there and she is the only one with her own bedroom. It was the same story, she has to conserve money

since she doesn't have any income currently. Which brought up the question of where all her stuff went when she moved, what money does she use for incidentals? So evidently, when she got divorced, she asked for the divorce after my ex went off to college. It doesn't sound like her husband slash X's dad wanted the divorce, his dad bought her out of the equity in their house. X didn't have any idea how much that was or how much is left. But until she moved here, she was working full-time as a teacher and living in a small apartment so she should not have had to tap into the divorce settlement money very much. Other than that, X didn't have much insight to her finances other than what she told him,

that she has to conserve money. I told him straight up that I'm moving out before the end of the month. and from now on I'm only paying 25%. As some of the commenters pointed out, she has a whole bedroom while I have to share with a man-child, so she should have to pay twice as much, and after I move out I'm not paying for anything else, no utilities, no food, nothing other than rent.

I have a pretty idea what his finances are like, and if he has to pay 75% of the rent all by himself, it's going to take a huge chunk of his net income. And after he pays utilities and buys groceries, there won't be anything left for incidentals. Rent was due on the first, but it's not late until after the fifth, so he has two days to come up with a dollar. If he doesn't come up with it and I end up covering,

then I'll reduce the amount I pay in future months. The only reason I'm going to keep paying any of the rent is even after I move out, I'm still on the hook. I talked to the leasing office and they explained that since X and I signed a single rental agreement together, for example one contract we both signed as opposed to two contracts we sign individually. we are both responsible for the rent. They don't care who actually pays as long as it gets paid.

The only alternative would be if he agrees to sign a new lease by himself, or together with his mom. But in all likelihood he wouldn't be able to pass the credit check on his own, so I'm kind of stuck. I don't think he'll do anything stupid tough because he's going to need to find someplace to live after this and a collection on his credit report wouldn't be good. I also told him that I'm going to find someplace to work during the day

until I move so she can't bother me. My friend I'm moving in with said I could work there during the day since she and her current roommate have in person 95s. I took her up on that for now. After living with his mom, I'm not about to overstay my welcome, so I'm going to find some other options that I can rotate through. Someone suggested checking out the public library,

or if it comes to it I'll get a membership at one of those we work kind of places. Just in case, I brought my important paper slash file slash valuables and my friend is storing them for me until I move in. He really didn't take it well. The surprising thing to me is that he was surprised by everything. He seemed really shocked that I wasn't prioritizing his mom. I really got the feeling that he sincerely believed I wanted to take care of her as much as him

and he kept saying stuff like, what about my mom, what am I going to tell her, that's how she is but we still need to help her, etc. He asked about our relationship and the engagement. I told him after I move out I need some space from him. In a few months when we've both had some time slash space to process what happened, if we both agree we can talk about the relationship. But he'd have to prove that he's going to have my back going forward and will set boundaries with his mom. I told him that just to avoid more drama, but I don't see a future in which we are together.

I told him he needs to tell his mom because she's not my responsibility or problem and she'll know something's up when I start moving my stuff out. He hasn't told her what's going on yet, but this weekend I'm going to start moving things so he doesn't have much time. My friend's current roommate starts a new job in another state on the third, so in reality I can probably move in two to three weeks, just depending when she actually leaves. I don't expect him to do anything bad, other than sulk and complain, but if he does something stupid, or doesn't pay as part of the rent, the ace up my sleeve as I'll tell the leasing office his mom moved in which is prohibited in the lease. Honestly, getting evicted would solve a lot of my problems right now, so it's a pretty valid threat, I think. Now that I've mentally and emotionally separated myself from him and his mom, I'm looking forward to her reaction when he tells her what's going on. If it gets too ugly,

I'll find a cheap-up and be or hotel or something. I've had some friends, including the one I'm moving in with, offered to let me couch surf for a few weeks, but I just can't do that to someone else. So, that's it. I'm leaving and I really don't care how that affects them. Update 2. Hey everyone. I've been getting a lot of requests for updates so I wanted to let everyone know how it went when ex's mom found out about me not covering all the rent and moving out. Last week I started working out of my friend's apartment, the one I'm moving in with, so I didn't see X's mom on Monday. Tuesday around lunch she sent me text asking where I was. I told her. I told her her I was working and I'd be home late tonight. She replied that X told her I wasn't going to be

contributing as much so she had to loan him money for rent. That wasn't a surprise to me so I just replied with an emoji. I had plans with my friend and her roommate, who I'm also friends with, to go out for dinner and then get some drinks. So by the time I got home as was after midnight and X's mom was already asleep. The fun started Wednesday morning. I was getting ready to go to work at my friend's place when Ex's mom stopped me and said we need to discuss my financial situation. Then she went on a whole tirade about her having to cover my part of the rent, me making foolish choices by going out to dinner when I couldn't even pay rent, I was irresponsible with money and inconsiderate of the impact it had on others, blah, blah, blah, blah.

She went on to say that if she was going to have to pay my share of the rent that she expected me to do a better job of keeping on top of chores and keeping the apartment clean and organized. I told her I was moving out since obviously STBX hadn't told her yet. She seemed, I don't know, pleased with herself. All she had to say was maybe that's for the best. When I got home that night, right off the bat, she wanted to talk. She said instead of me moving out, we could get a bigger apartment and she'd be willing to help by paying the difference between a 2BR and a 3BR.

Then we could go back to the arrangement X and I had before she moved in, me paying 2 thirds of the balance and him paying one-third. Honestly, when she was saying this, I think my brain vapor locked. She was making it sound like she was doing us a favor by offering to pay the increase in rent. Apparently this man-child who tells his mom literally every single thing about our lives and relationship hadn't bothered to tell his mom how much I was actually contributing. It seems like once she discovered X wasn't paying for everything like she thought, she wasn't as excited about me moving out. I tried to be polite and told her I'd already giving notice to our apartment complex that I was moving out at the end of the month and already committed to move in

with my friend. She kept pushing the issue and said if she was willing to pay the difference, I should just stay because that would really be best for everyone. By then I was getting annoyed and told her that because of the way she has been acting and treating me I had no interest in living with her anymore. That's when the best line of this whole dumpster fire came out of her mouth. She said she was worried I was taking advantage of her son and if we had told her about our financial arrangement she would have been more understanding of why I wasn't keeping up with the apartment. I told her maybe a good lesson from this is to try being nice to everyone in the future and not just the people you think can help you. And I asked her why she didn't help out more

since she wasn't doing anything productive all day. She did not like either of those comments and it got pretty hostile with both of us yelling at each other. And to be fair, we both said some pretty awful things to one another. Finally, I told her I was going to inform the rental office that she had been living there contrary to the lease agreement because getting evicted would be worth it to see her living on the street. I grabbed my laptop and went to my friends. I didn't even bother packing an overnight bag. Next afternoon, Thursday, X texted me and said he had added his mom to the lease effective the first of the month and that she and his dad, I have no idea how that poor man got roped into this, would pay half the rent and X would pay the other half.

I confirmed with the property manager that I was off the lease and didn't have any further obligation. I got it in email, so I have a record. I put disconnect orders in for the utilities under my name and told him to call and set up accounts under his name. I'm going to lose the damage deposit. It goes to whoever is living there when lease ends, but it's a small price to pay to be free. On the way home I stopped and got a bunch of boxes to pack my stuff up. She was pretty hostile when I got home and when she saw how much I was taking she got worse. I ended up taking Friday off to finish packing and on Saturday got some friends to help move stuff to my new place. I'm going to pay my friends some rent for the next two weeks until the one

move out. They didn't want me to, but I'm not going to stay in someone's home and not contribute. If nothing else, living with X and his mom taught me that. Last night X and I got together and talked for the first time since Saturday. He said his mom is staying until June when the lease is up then she's moving back to their hometown. According to him, she just really didn't like living here and that's why she didn't try to find a job. Then he asked how long a break I thought we should take. A few commenters gave me a hard time for stringing him along, so I was brutally honest and told him I could not be with someone that allowed others to treat me the way he allowed his mom to treat

me and that I hoped he learned to stand on his own and establish some boundaries. He looked like he was going to cry and just got up and left. As far as I'm concerned, this whole this is over and done. I'm going to call it a learning experience and be glad I found out how awful X's mom is before we got married. The thing that amazes me is the amount of damage this woman leaves in her wake and how utterly oblivious she is. She destroyed our engagement and relationship, is leaving X in a much worse financial situation, pushed back her ex-husband's retirement by I don't know how many years since now he likely has to pay off A the mortgage, or second mortgage, he had to get to pay her half of the equity. And she made my life hell for six plus months.

And she's walking away completely unscathed. According to my ex, she's going to back to her hometown and picking up her old teaching job. I'm thinking about going to visit my parents next week and working from their house. I want to tell them how boring and undramatic they are and how I'm so grateful for that and love them for it, L.O.L. That's the end of the first story. Let's begin the second one. I hope you enjoy this story. Covertly arranged to astonish my betrothed with a luxurious post-wedding trip, having father covered the expenses of our nuptials. However, my betrothed sneakily excluded father from the guest list to cut costs. Greetings, all. So I'll try to keep this as short as I can but before I get into what my fiancé did, I want to explain a little about my relationship with my dad.

So while I was growing up, it was mainly my dad who took care of me because my mom was very sick. I don't want to get into her illness, but I'll say that she was mostly tired and stayed confined to the bed. My dad did everything for me and I did love my mom a lot, but my dad and I were closer. When I turned 12, my mom passed away and that really hit me hard, but my father continued to do his best for me and I'll always be grateful for that. After I graduated and got a job, my dad said that he wanted to be. wanted to move back in with his family and take care of his dad's farm because he felt like I could take care of myself now.

My dad was the kind of man who'd first devoted his life to taking care of my mother when she fell sick and then me so this was a well-deserved break and my grandparents were also really old so I encouraged him to move back in with them to run the farm. He'd done enough for me so I could repay him this way. For the past four or five years, my dad's been living on the farm with my grandparents, brother, and his brother's family and he seems very happy. They're also very well off because the farm business does very well and my dad's offered to send me money to help out several times but I always refused because I didn't want to

rely on him too much. As a result, nobody apart from me knew exactly how comfortable he was and I didn't think it mattered either. Now, about my fiancé. I met my fiancé, 29M, about three years back at a friend's wedding. He happened to be her cousin. He kept flirting with me like nobody's business and eventually asked me out on a date, which I said yes to.

It's been three years now and six months back. He asked me to marry him and I said yes once again. We were supposed to get married in a few weeks, but I don't think that's happening anymore because of something that my fiancé did a couple of days back. My fiancé has met my dad several times over these past three years and they've got along well. Most of the time it's been when my dad was visiting me and maybe twice when I visited my my dad and took him along with me to see the farm life. I could tell that he didn't like it much because he liked living in the city and everything uptown. But a few days ago, my dad forwarded

a text to me that my fiancé had sent to him telling him that he and his family no longer needed to attend and that they'd have a private ceremony just for them later on but they wouldn't be invited to the main wedding because apparently my dad and his family was costing us too much. He also told him not to discuss this text with me and to make some excuse as to why exactly he couldn't attend because he didn't want me to feel hurt about this. For context, I offered to fly my dad out here and pay for him at the hotel in full because this is the bare minimum that I could do for him as his only daughter. My father's family, my grandparents, and my uncle and his wife and kids, are also invited but they're paying for their own travel arrangements but I'm

covering the cost of theirs. What my fiancé didn't know was that my father was the one funding the entire wedding, right from the vendors to the venue to the caterers to the organizers. Literally, everything was being paid for by my dad because he'd insisted on letting him cover the expenses of the wedding. He could afford to do that for me anyway so it wasn't a burden on him and he'd also been fund right from when I turned 18 and I thought that was pretty touching so I let him pay for it. My dad was very disappointed just like anyone else in my place would be and even said that now,

he didn't want me to get married to this man anymore. He said that he'd still support me if I chose to but also added that he felt that my fiancé was being very sly and manipulative and this whole whole thing. thing just seemed very off to him and I've got to agree with him. I actually did want to tell my fiancé about my dad sponsoring the wedding at first, but then I had the idea to surprise him with an expensive honeymoon and an exotic location with all the money that we'd be saving. So I told my fiancé that I'd be the one paying for the entire wedding and he seemed to be surprised at that one I told him but I convinced him that I had enough put aside to be able to afford it and he didn't

question it too much. I even said that I'd paid for everything in advance and whatever the costs came up to later, I'd split it with him if it was too much so that he wouldn't be suspicious. I'd planned meticulously and was very excited to surprise him. And that's exactly how furious I was when I saw that text and my dad was also really disappointed because this whole plan of ours had backfired and now, my fiancé had felt the need to go behind my back to disinvite my own father who happened to be paying for the whole wedding. Of course, I confronted my fiancé as soon as I received the text that he'd sent my dad and told him that what he'd done was way out of line. He defended himself saying that he had to cut

someone out and he picked my dad because the flights and accommodation were costing us way too much. He told me that he absolutely had to cut costs or else we'd end up blowing all our money on just the wedding. The least he could have done was consult me even if he did feel like we were spending too much. And it definitely shouldn't have been my dad whom he dropped from the guest list. Not because he was funding the wedding but just because he was my father, that's all. That's enough reason for me to want him at my wedding. If he wanted to cut costs, then he should have dropped a few of his distant aunts and cousins from the list instead. When I was fighting with him over what he'd done, I also told him the truth about how it was my dad who was funding the wedding

and we didn't tell him about it because I wanted to surprise him by paying for the honeymoon to a location of his choice. But now he'd ruined it all for himself by being sly and going behind my back to prevent my dad from attending and even tried to cover up by forcing him to lie to me like my fiance was. After I told him about the surprise we'd been planning, he turned it around on me and told me that I should have been honest with him instead of playing games and leading him to believe that we were spending a lot more than we could afford to. My issue with this whole thing was that he hadn't had to spend a single dime on the wedding yet but was still acting as though he was being robbed and was going to end up broke soon. The wedding budget was well within our means

and was nothing that we wouldn't be able to afford. I know that my dad was paying but I didn't want to end up spending the entire fund on the wedding itself because that would just be wasteful and it was a ton of money too. So my fiancé's reaction was just really weird and unnecessary. Nevertheless, when he did bring that point up, I felt like I might have messed up a little. I tried to defend what I was doing by saying that the only reason I'd kept all this a secret from him was because I wanted to surprise him but he told me that that was not a good enough reason and put all the blame on me. So to sum it all up, my fiancé believes that this could have all been avoided had I just been honest with him and told him right from the beginning that it was my dad

who was going to be paying for the wedding and then he wouldn't be worried about money at all. Neither would he have gone out of his way to make my dad back out of the wedding and everything would have been just fine. But I also don't think it's fair to blame everything on me because I'm sure there were a lot better ways to tackle his concerns than being sneaky and going behind my back to disinvite my dad. I can't find a way to excuse what he did, but I also feel like I shouldn't have tried to hide anything from him at all. We've been fighting for a couple of of days ever since he sent that text and now I'm not even sure if I want to get married. We haven't spoken since our fight, but he's going about his life like he usually does while I've

been a total wreck. I don't understand if I'm really the one at fault here because I was just trying to do something nice for him. Ida for hiding the fact that my dad would be paying for our wedding so I could surprise him? Update one, hey, so I read the comments here and all I've got to say is wow. I actually didn't know I was being gaslit until some of you guys brought it up. I know what gaslighting is and I always believe that I'd be able to recognize it if it were to happen to me but apparently not. Thanks for all the support, guys. That was really helpful because at least now I know that this wasn't entirely my fault.

He could have just sat me down and talked to me about his concerns regarding the budget if he was so worried about us going beyond our means. We could have discussed it and since we're just a few weeks away from the wedding, I probably would have told him about the surprise anyway. He has absolutely no excuse for going behind my back and disinviting my dad because even if we ignore the circumstances and the situation itself, it's still really disrespectful to me and my family. It's also really hypocritical of him because he has still invited all his family, including all the people he barely even speaks to and hasn't seen in ages simply because they're related

to him but is getting mad over me inviting my dad and offering to pay for his flights and accommodation which is not even that huge an amount as compared to whatever will be spending on his family. I have only a select few relatives attending and a couple of close friends and their partners on like him and yet he chose to disinvite my dad. I literally cannot think of a single situation where something like this could be excused and I'm 100% sure that if my dad hadn't told me himself, I probably never would have found out about this either. He's just been selfish and thoughtless in dealing with this situation and the aftermath has

been even worse. He's tried to gaslight me into thinking that this was somehow my fault for trying to do something nice for him and is still acting like he's the victim here. It's been about a week since our big fight and he's still not talking to me. Heck, he even refuses to look at me or sleep in the same room and has been sleeping on the couch. This is nothing new to me because even in our earlier fights, he used to give me the silent treatment until one of us gave in and finally talked to the other. It would usually be me who would break down first and apologize, but this time, it just felt really manipulative of him to first screw up on such a colossal level and then refuse to acknowledge

his mistake. And on top of that, he tried to gaslight me and is now giving me the silent treatment because he believes that I'm going to come back to him once again. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen this time around and I'm definitely going to call off the wedding now. It's been a while and he's had several opportunities to come talk to me or at least try to make things right, but he's not done a thing. So I guess it's pretty clear now that to him, being right is a lot more important than being honest or being kind. Whatever. If I'm being honest, the only reason I haven't already left is because I haven't found a place to go yet and I don't want to go live in a hotel because I pay equal rent to live in this house so it seems unfair that I should be the one to leave when he's the one

who messed up. Besides, this used to be the house that I lived in before he moved in and I strongly feel that if anyone has to move out, it should be him and not me. These past few days have shown me all I needed to know about my fiancé's behavior and I'm really disappointed that I didn't realize just how egoistic and manipulative he's always been. I'm glad that he went behind my back and texted my father because had that incident not taken place, I probably never would have been able to realize that I was making a huge mistake by marrying this guy. He probably still thinks that I'll apologize to him and let this go as well, like I usually do, but he's in for a nasty surprise. It feels like the past three years of my life have completely gone to waste right now, but at

At least I didn't find out I'd made a mistake after I got married because that would have been even worse. That is pretty much my only consolation right now and I'm hoping that I feel better with time. Update 2. Hey, everybody. So, I finally spoke to my fiancé and told him that I wanted to cancel the wedding today. It's been a week and a half and he still wasn't talking to me but I thought that I shouldn't waste any more time and so, I spoke to him first but it was not to apologize as he'd expected.

He was shocked and initially tried to play it cool, but when I made it clear that I was dead serious about it, he started panicking a little. He told me that he no longer had a problem with my dad attending and was just giving me the silent treatment because he was afraid of how I might react now even if he did apologize to me. That didn't even make sense because how would he know how I'd react to an apology that never even came? He didn't apologize because he was so used to pushing me around and manipulating me that he didn't even feel sorry and didn't think that it was necessary to apologize to me for doing something so sneaky and disrespectful. And that was the real reason he didn't apologize, not whatever excuses he was coming up with now.

I told him that at this point, it was too late to fix our relationship because it was very clear that he cared more about himself and his overinflated sense of ego than our relationship so it didn't even make sense to stay together. If not speaking to me for one whole week and a couple more days didn't affect him in any way whatsoever then maybe we were better off without each other. He tried to find an appropriate argument for whatever I was saying to him but couldn't because he knew that every single word of it was true. He knew that he'd messed up and he knew that what he'd done was unacceptable. He also was quite aware of the fact that what he did after the fight just made matters worse so now, arguing with me

was not going to improve the situation. So once again, he tried to turn the tables on me and tried to manipulate me into believing that I was in the wrong here by bringing up how I had lied to him as well by not telling him who was really paying for the wedding. When I asked him why he hadn't tried to discuss that with me first before jumping the gun and disinviting my father from the wedding, he had nothing to say because he knew that his gaslighting wasn't going to work with me anymore. Now that I wasn't thinking of him with love, it made it a lot easier for me to call him out on his BS

because I wasn't afraid of hurting him the way he'd hurt me. He had been super disrespectful and I was no longer going to put up with him simply out of love. Love simply doesn't cut it if he doesn't even respect me and wants to treat me like a teenager who will always come running after him, even if he's wrong. Update 3, My ex-fiancee moved out a few days back and now. We have a new issue to deal with about who's going to pay the cancellation charges for everything. He obviously thinks that I should be the one paying because I'm the one who thinks that the wedding should be cancelled but I don't agree one bit.

He's the one who should pay because it was his fault that the wedding was getting canceled in the first place. I've offered to split the cost with him but he wants me to cover all the expenses which is just not fair at all. And the alternative to that is staying with him, which is what he's been trying to convince me to do. For the past couple of days, even though he's left, he hasn't stopped texting me and trying to get me back. He refuses to back down even though I've told him several times that I'm just not interested in getting back with him anymore. He thinks that I'm overreacting to this whole situation and blowing it way out of proportion. It's crazy to me that he still refuses to acknowledge how insane it was of him to disrespect my dad that way, knowing that I'm very close to him and is practically the only family I've left at this point.

He wasn't taking me seriously until a few days back when I told him that I didn't want him to live here anymore because this was my place originally and most of the things here belonged to me. So either he could leave or I would. He left to prove to me what a great guy he was but it didn't do much for me and only made me feel relieved that I didn't have to feel the tension in my own house anymore and I didn't have to walk on eggshells now. Even right now, while I was typing, he sent me a text saying that he'll do whatever it takes to fix the situation

and that he is sorry for whatever he did. He's promised me that he'll try to be better, but it just doesn't mean anything. Truth be told, I don't feel the same way about him anymore. Not after what he did. I don't think it's even possible for me to feel for him the same way ever again because once you start seeing everything that was wrong with your relationship, you can't just shut your eyes and pretend you don't see them after a while.

He was toxic and he was selfish and that's something I can't pretend to not notice anymore. I'm going to miss him, that's for sure, but I also cannot marry him and continue to let him push me around. For now, we have to come to a conclusion about how we're going to pay for the vendors, venue, and catering because there are just two weeks to go now for what was supposed to be our wedding day but obviously, that's not happening anymore. I've already spoken to the people involved, and we only have to pay cancellation charges for the most part, and if my ex and I split the cost, we can easily cover it all without any trouble

and then we'll be able to move on with our lives. The quicker we get it done, the less we'll have to pay because the closer we cancel to the actual date of the wedding, the higher the charges shall be. He thinks the only two options out of this for me should be to either get back with him

and there'll be no cancellation or I can pay for everything in full since I want to cancel the wedding. Both of these options are clearly ridiculous and unfair, and I can't even block him out of frustration because I have to do something about this situation and can't just leave the people I was working with hanging forever. So please, any advice regarding how to deal with my ex who's in denial right now is more than welcome. Update 4. Okay, so my ex's family found out that I was canceling the wedding and finally agreed to

split the costs equally. Not out of the goodness of their hearts or whatever, but just because they didn't want me bothering their child anymore. Apparently, I was the one being. the bothersome one here, but it's cool. At least I got to see everyone's true colors before I finally severed my ties with them. My in-laws have always been nice and civil to me, but the second I stood up against my ex-fiancee, I became the villain. My mother-in-law had even sent me a text saying that she was very happy that I had chosen to leave her son alone because she'd never believed that I was good enough for him and she'd pay twice the amount gladly if it meant that I'd be out of his life. Suddenly, I was the cause of his ruin and the reason behind all his unhappiness.

I was a little surprised at their reaction, but I've accepted it now since only parents like these could raise a son like that. I've blocked them all now and I'm trying to move past this to the best of my abilities. My dad is still flying down to see me, though. I'd kept him in the loop about what was going on and he's kind of disappointed in my ex-fiancee's behavior but at the same time, he's thrilled that I don't have to spend the rest of my life with such an immature brat. And I agree, I dodged a bullet there. He's also promised that he'll transfer the entire wedding fun to me and will take a family vacation to a location of my choice, just to make me feel better. As long as my dad's on my side.

I can deal with this and I already feel loads better thinking that I'll be able to talk to him about all of this in person soon enough now.