Reddit Stories - DAD-IN-LAW was EXTREMELY certain that I had been UNFAITHFUL, so he sneakily took

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #familydrama #trustissues #cheatingaccusations #sneakybehaviorSummary: DAD-IN-LAW was EXTREMELY certain that I had been UNFAITHFUL, so he sneakily took matters into his own hands to uncover the truth, leading to a dramatic confrontation that tested the family's bonds and trust.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, familydrama, trustissues, cheatingaccusations, sneakybehavior, confrontation, familybonds, dramaticsituation, loyaltytested, truthrevealed, in-lawdrama, secretsuncovered, relationshipchallenges, familyconflict, trustbetrayedBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Dad-in-law was extremely certain that I had been unfaithful, so he sneakily took my infant's genetic material for a paternity examination. However, upon discovering the findings concealed in his residence, my spouse, and I decided to cut him off. My husband Jake and I have been together for about six years now, married for three. His dad Robert has never really liked me much. I think part of it is because I'm not the type of girl he pictured for his son.

Jake comes from this pretty traditional family where the women are all very quiet and submissive types. His mom barely speaks up about anything and just goes along with whatever Robert says. His sister is the same way with her husband. Then there's me. I work, I'm pretty outgoing, I have opinions about things, and I don't just nod along when someone says something I disagree with. Robert has made comments over the years about how I'm too independent or too career-focused. When Jake and I got engaged, Robert actually asked Jake privately if he was sure about marrying someone who might not want to be a proper wife and mother. Jake told me about it later and we both thought it was ridiculous, but it should have been

a bigger red flag. The thing is, Robert isn't openly hostile or anything. He's more like passive-aggressive. He'll make little comments that sound almost innocent but have this edge to them. Like when I got promoted at work last year, he said something about how it was. it was nice that some women could have it all these days, but he hoped I wouldn't get too caught up in my career to remember what really mattered. When I'd cook dinner for family gatherings, he'd always find something to critique. The seasoning was off, or I didn't make enough sides, or why didn't I make

his favorite dish instead? Jake always defended me, which I appreciated. But he also had this way of trying to smooth things over instead of directly confronting his dad. He'd make excuses like his dad was just old-fashioned or didn't mean anything by his comments. I get that it's hard to deal with family stuff, but sometimes I felt like Jake was more worried about keeping the peace than backing me up completely. Things got worse when we started trying to have kids. We tried for about a year and a half before I got pregnant with our daughter Emma. During that time, Robert made several comments about how maybe if I wasn't so stressed about work I'd have an easier time getting pregnant. He also suggested I should quit my job and focus on being a wife because that's what worked for his generation.

I mostly just ignored him, but it was frustrating. Then when I finally did get pregnant, Robert's attitude shifted in this weird way. He became almost obsessively interested in the pregnancy. He'd ask really personal questions about my doctor appointments, when exactly I conceived, whether I was taking proper care of myself. At first I thought maybe he was just excited. about becoming a grandfather, but something about it felt off. He'd make these pointed comments about how the baby better looked like Jake when it was born,

or how genetics were such a funny thing. The comments got more frequent as my pregnancy progressed. He'd say things like genetics don't lie, or how he was looking forward to seeing which family traits the baby inherited. Sometimes he'd look at me with the suspicious expression that made me really uncomfortable. Jake noticed it too but kept saying his dad was just excited. and maybe a little nervous about being a grandpa for the first time. I should mention that during my pregnancy,

I had to travel for work a few times. Nothing major, just overnight trips to nearby cities for client meetings. Robert always seemed very interested in these trips. He'd ask exactly where I was going, who I was meeting with, where I was staying. Again, Jake said his dad was probably just worried about me traveling while pregnant, but it felt like more than that. Emma was born eight months ago and she's absolutely perfect. She has Jake's dark hair and his nose, but she got my lighter eye color and maybe my face shape.

To me, she looks like a perfect mix of both of us, which is exactly what you'd expect. But from the moment Emma was born, Robert was weird about her appearance. He kept making comments about how babies change so much in their first year, or how you really can't tell who they look like when they're so young. The first few months after Emma was born were pretty normal family-wise. Robert would come over to visit, bring gifts, hold the baby. But I noticed he was always studying her face really intensely, like he was looking for something specific. He'd make comments about her eyes or her facial features that seemed pointed somehow.

Jake and I were both exhausted new parents so we didn't think too much about his weird behavior at first. We were just trying to survive those early months with a newborn. But looking back, there were definitely signs that something was off with Robert's attitude. About four months ago, Robert started volunteering to babysit Emma more often. At first we were grateful because we were both so tired and could use the help. He'd offered to watch her for a few hours while we ran errands or took naps. He seemed to genuinely enjoy spending time with her, and she was comfortable with him, so we didn't see any reason to say no.

But then I started noticing weird things. A few times when we came home from errands, Emma would have different clothes on than when we left. When I asked Robert about it, he'd say she had a diaper blow out or spit up on her outfit, which seemed reasonable enough. But it happened pretty frequently, more than it ever happened when she was with us. There was also this one time about three months ago when I came home early from getting groceries and Robert seemed really startled to see me. He was in the kitchen with Emma and there was this moment where he looked almost guilty about something,

though I couldn't figure out what. When I asked if everything was okay, he just said he was trying to get her to take a bottle and she was being fussy. Around the same time, I started noticing that some of M.S. things would be in different places after Robert babysat. Like her hairbrush would be moved from the nursery to the living room,

or her blanket would be folded differently than how I left it. Small things that could easily be explained, but when I started paying attention it seemed to happen every time. Jake thought I was being paranoid when I mentioned these things to him. He said his dad was probably just tidying up or didn't remember exactly where things belonged. Which was fair, I guess. I started wondering if I was just being overly suspicious because I already had issues with Robert. But then there were the questions.

Robert started asking really specific things about Emma's development and health. Not normal grandparent stuff, but weird detailed questions about her medical records, whether she'd had any blood tests, what her pediatrician had said about her growth patterns. When I asked why he wanted to know, he'd say he was just curious or that he wanted to make sure she was healthy. The thing that really started bothering me was how he'd sometimes make comments about Emma's paternity in what felt like a joking way, but wasn't really funny. He'd say things like she's definitely a mystery baby, or I wonder who she really takes after. Once he even said something about how modern technology could answer so many questions about babies these days.

When Jake asked what he meant, Robert just laughed it off and said he was just thinking out loud. I tried to talk to Jake about how his dad's behavior was making me uncomfortable, but Jake kept defending him. He said Robert was just adjusting to being a grandfather and maybe didn't know how to express his excitement properly. Jake also pointed out that Robert had never had much experience with babies since Jake and his sister were adults when Robert's friend started having grandchildren. Looking back, should have trusted my instincts more. But I was a new mom, I was tired, and part of me wondered if I was being oversensitive because of the history between me and Robert. I didn't want to cause problems in Jake's family over what might just be

misunderstandings. The incident that made me finally post happened two weeks ago. Jake was out of town for work and I was home alone with Emma. I'd been feeling really overwhelmed and exhausted, so when Robert offered to watch Emma for the afternoon so I could rest, I said yes. I was planning to just take a nap and maybe do some cleaning while she was with him. Robert came over around noon and I handed Emma off to him. She'd just had lunch and was in a good mood. I told him I'd probably just be upstairs resting and to call if he needed anything.

He said they'd be fine and that I should get some sleep. I went upstairs and ended up falling into this deep sleep, which I really needed. When I woke up it was almost 5 p.m., so I'd been asleep for about four hours. I felt guilty for sleeping so long, but also really refreshed. I came downstairs expecting to find Robert and Emma in the living room, but the house was completely quiet. I called out for Robert and heard him respond from the kitchen. When I walked in there, he was sitting at the table with Emma on his lap, and she was being unusually fussy. She kept reaching for me and making these upset noises, which wasn't like

her behavior with Robert before. What was weird, though, was that Robert seemed really nervous when I came into the kitchen. He started talking really quickly about how Emma had been great all afternoon, just got a little cranky in the last few minutes, probably needed her mom. He handed her over to me right away and started gathering up his things like he was in a hurry to leave. That's when I noticed that Emma's hair looked different. It's hard to explain, but it looked like it had been brushed or combed in a way that I never style it. I always just leave her hair natural because she's a baby and it doesn't matter, but it looked like someone had tried to part it or smooth it down. When I mentioned it to Robert, he said he'd been playing with her hair while

she sat on his but here's the thing that really bothered me. Emma's outfit was different again, and this time I was sure of it because I'd specifically chosen the outfit she was wearing that morning. It was this little yellow dress that my mom had bought her, and I remembered putting it on her because it was one of my favorites. But when Robert handed her back to me, she was wearing a plain white onesie that I'd never seen before. When I asked Robert about the outfit change, he got defensive and said Emma had spit up on her dress so he changed her into something clean he found in her dresser. But Emma hardly ever spits up anymore, and when she does it's not usually enough to require a complete outfit change.

Plus, I knew every piece of clothing in her dresser and I didn't recognize the white onesie at all. I asked Robert where the yellow dress was so I could wash it, and he said he'd already put it in the laundry hamper upstairs. But when I checked later, it wasn't there. I looked everywhere for that dress and never found it. It was like it had just disappeared. The whole interaction left me feeling really uneasy. Robert left pretty quickly after I came downstairs, which was unusual because he normally

likes to stay and chat for a while after babysitting. Emma was also more clingy than usual for the rest of the day, like something had upset her while I was sleeping. I tried to convince myself that I was overreacting, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened while I was asleep. That night when Jake called from his business trip, I told him about the weird afternoon with his dad. I tried to explain why I felt uncomfortable about it, but Jake said I was probably just being

paranoid because I was tired and stressed from being alone with Emma. He suggested that maybe his dad had just been trying to help by cleaning Emma up and I was reading too much into it. But I couldn't let it go. Something about that afternoon felt wrong, and I decided I needed to figure out what was going on. I started paying closer attention to Robert's behavior and looking for patterns in the things that had been bothering me. That's when I realized that all the times Emma's clothes had been changed while Robert was babysitting, and all his questions about her medical information, and his weird comments about her appearance might actually be connected. I started wondering if Robert was suspicious about Emma's paternity

and had been looking for ways to prove something. The thought made me feel sick. I couldn't believe that my father-in-law might actually think I'd cheated on his son. But the more I thought about his behavior over the past few months, the more it made sense. The pointed comments about genetics, the intense studying of Emma's face, the questions about my work travel during pregnancy, all of it could be explained if Robert suspected I'd had an affair. I decided I needed to find out for sure what was going on. I knew that Robert and Jake's mom were going out of town the following weekend to visit Jake's aunt, so their house would be empty. I'd been to their house hundreds of times over the years

and knew where they kept important documents and paperwork. If Robert had done something like order a paternity test, he would probably keep the result somewhere in his home office. I know this sounds crazy and I'm not proud of what I did next, but I was so desperate to understand what was happening. I got Jake's mom's spare key from where they keep it hidden and went to their house while they were gone. I felt terrible about essentially breaking in, but I needed to know if my suspicions were right. I went straight to Robert's office, which is where he keeps all his important papers and files. I started looking through his desk drawers and filing cabinets, not really sure what I was looking for but hoping I'd recognize it if I found it. That's when I

found it. In the bottom drawer of his filing cabinet, hidden under some old tax documents, was a Manila envelope with Emma's name written on it and Robert's handwriting. Inside the envelope was a paternity test report from a lab I'd never heard of. The report was dated from about six weeks ago, right around the time Robert had been based, babysitting Emma more frequently. According to the document, samples had been submitted for both Emma and Jake, and the results showed a 99.97% probability that Jake was Emma's biological father. I just sat there staring at this report for probably 10 minutes, trying to process what I was seeing. My father-in-law had actually stolen samples from my baby daughter and my husband to

secretly test whether Emma was Jake's child. He'd been suspicious enough about my fidelity to actually pay for a paternity test without telling anyone. But here's what made it even worse. The test results clearly showed that Jake was Emma's father, which meant Robert's suspicions were completely wrong. But even after getting proof that I hadn't cheated, he'd never said anything to anyone. He'd just kept the results hidden and continued treating me with the same suspicious attitude. I took pictures of the report with my phone and put everything back exactly where I found it. Then I left their house and drove home, feeling completely numb. I couldn't believe that this was my reality.

My father-in-law had been so convinced I was unfaithful that he'd secretly taken genetic material from my infant daughter to prove it. When Jake got home from his business trip, I showed him the pictures of the paternity test report. At first he didn't believe it was real. He kept saying there had to be some other explanation, that his dad would never do something like that. But the evidence was right there in black and white. Jake was quiet for a long time after I showed him the report. I think he was trying to process how his father could have done something so invasive and hurtful without telling anyone.

Finally, he said he needed to confront his dad directly and get an explanation. So yesterday Jake went over to his parents' house and asked his dad about the paternity test. According to Jake, Robert initially tried to deny it. But when Jake said he'd seen the actual report, Robert admitted to what he'd done. Robert's explanation was that he'd been worried about Jake getting hurt. He said he'd noticed things about my behavior during pregnancy that made him suspicious, and he wanted to protect his son from potentially raising another man's child. He claimed he was planning to tell Jake about the test results eventually,

but wanted to be sure about how to handle the situation first. Jake asked his dad what specific things about my behavior had made him suspicious. and apparently Robert brought up my work travel during pregnancy and said it seemed secretive about some of my activities. He also said Emma didn't look enough like Jake when she was born, which had increased his concerns. When Jake pointed out that the test results proved Robert's suspicions were wrong, Robert said he was relieved to learn that Emma was definitely Jake's daughter. But he didn't apologize for what he'd done or acknowledge how inappropriate it was. Jake came home from that conversation really upset. He said,

He said he'd never seen his dad act so paranoid and invasive before. Jake was also hurt that his father had suspected me of cheating without ever talking to him about his concerns first. We talked for hours about what to do next. Jake was torn between being angry at his dad and wanting to try to work things out with family. I was just furious. The idea that Robert had been taking samples from Emma without permission made me feel sick. What if he'd hurt her somehow while collecting whatever he needed for the test?

What if she'd been scared or confused when he was doing it? I also couldn't get over the fact that even after the test proved I hadn't cheated, Robert had continued treating me with suspicion. If he'd really been worried about protecting Jake, wouldn't he have been relieved when the results came back? Instead he'd just hidden the evidence and kept acting like I might be untrustworthy. After talking it through, Jake and I decided that we needed to cut contact with Robert, at least for now. What he did was such a violation of our privacy and our trust that we can't

just pretend it didn't happen. He went behind our backs to secretly test our child, which crosses every boundary I can think of. Jake called his dad today and told him that we won't be bringing Emma around anymore and that we need space from him. Robert got really defensive and said he'd only been trying to protect his family. He claimed that any good father would have done the same thing in his position. Jake told his dad that what he did was wrong regardless of his intentions, and that we can't trust him with Emma anymore. Robert got angry and said we were overreacting, that the test proved Emma was Jake's daughter so everything should be fine now. That reaction just confirmed for me that we made the right decision. Robert still doesn't understand why

what he did was so problematic. He thinks the ends justify the means that because the test results were what he hoped they'd be, the violation of getting the test secretly doesn't matter. Jake's mom called later and tried to convince us to reconsider. She said Robert had made a mistake but that he loves Emma and just wanted to make sure she was really part of the family. She asked us to think about Emma and how she'd miss out on having a relationship with her grandfather. So am I the asshole for cutting off my father-in-law after finding out he secretly got a paternity test on my baby? Update 1, so after we told Robert we were cutting contact, things were quiet for about a day.

Then Jake's sister Lisa called and asked what was going on because their parents were really upset. Jake explained the situation to Lisa, and her reaction was not what we expected at all. Lisa said she wasn't surprised that their dad had done a paternity test, and that she'd actually been wondering about Emma's paternity too. She said Emma doesn't look that much like Jake to her, and she'd noticed some of the same things their dad had noticed about my behavior during pregnancy. I was completely shocked. I asked Lisa what she meant about my behavior, and she brought up the same things Robert had mentioned. The work travel, being on my phone more during family gatherings, seeming distracted sometimes. She said she and

Robert had actually talked about their concerns a few months ago. Jake was really hurt that his sister had been suspicious too but had never said anything to him. Lisa said she didn't want to cause problems in his marriage over what might just be paranoia, but that she understood why their dad had wanted to know for sure. The conversation with Lisa made me realize that Robert's suspicions weren't just coming from nowhere. Apparently multiple people in Jake's family had noticed things that made them question Emma's paternity. That made me feel even worse, like Jake's whole family had been watching me and judging my behavior without me knowing. Lisa did say she was glad the test results showed Emma was definitely Jake's daughter, and that she hoped we could all move past this now

that everyone knew for sure. But she also said she thought we were being too harsh on Robert for trying to protect Jake. After that conversation, Jake started questioning whether we were overreacting to the whole situation. He pointed out that if multiple people and his family had concerns, maybe Robert's actions were more understandable. He said maybe his dad had just handled his worries in the wrong way, but his intentions had been good. I got really frustrated with Jake for starting to defend his dad's actions. I reminded him that regardless of Robert's intentions, what he did was still a major violation. But Jake said maybe we should consider that Robert was just being a protective father, and that the test results proved there was nothing to worry about

anyway. He suggested that maybe we could work on rebuilding trust with his dad instead of cutting him off completely. I felt like Jake was minimizing what his father had done, which really upset me. I asked him how he'd feel if someone secretly took genetic samples from Emma for any other reason, and he admitted that would bother him. But he said this situation was different because it was family and Robert had been genuinely concerned. We ended up having a pretty big fight about it. Jake accused me of being too unforgiving and holding grudges. I accused him of caring more about his family's feelings than protecting our daughter. It was not a good conversation. The next day, Jake's mom called me directly to try to smooth things over. She said Robert felt

terrible about the whole situation and that he'd learned his lesson. She asked if we could at least try family counseling or mediation to work through the issues. Jake's mom also mentioned that Robert had been seeing signs that made him worry, and that he'd only been trying to do right by Jake. She said Robert never meant to hurt anyone, and that he was devastated that we were keeping Emma away from him. I told Jake's mom that I appreciated her trying to help, but that I needed time to process everything that had happened. I said I wasn't ready to consider counseling or mediation yet because I was still too upset about the violation of trust. But Jake's mom kept pushing. She said Emma needed her grandfather in her life, and that this whole situation was hurting

the entire family. She asked me to think about what was best for Emma, not just what made me feel better about being wronged. That conversation really got to me because it made me question whether I was being selfish. I started wondering if maybe everyone was right that I was overreacting. The test did prove that Robert's suspicions were wrong, and he is Emma's grandfather. Maybe I should try to find a way to move past what happened for the sake of family harmony. I'm really confused about what to do now. Jake is starting to lean toward wanting to reconcile especially after his sister's reaction made it seem like Robert's suspicions were more reasonable than I'd thought.

Am I being too stubborn about this? Should I consider counseling or mediation like Jake's mom suggested? I don't want to be the person who breaks up Jake's family over this, but I also don't know how to get past what Robert did. Update 2 so after everyone telling me I was overreacting, I started to wonder if maybe they were right. Jake was getting more and more frustrated with me for not wanting to reconcile with his dad, and I was starting to feel like maybe I was being too harsh. I decided to try to get more information about exactly what Robert had done,

thinking that if I understood his actions better, maybe I could find a way to move past them. I wanted to know how he'd gotten the samples from Emma and Jake, and what the whole process had been like. Jake agreed to ask his dad for more details about how he'd conducted the paternity test. I think Jake was hoping that if we understood Robert's methods better, it might make his actions seem less invasive or scary. So Jake went over to his parents' house again and asked Robert to explain exactly how he'd gotten

the samples for the test. What Robert told him was so much worse than what I'd been imagining. Apparently, Robert had been planning this for months. He'd researched different paternity testing companies and found one that would accept hair samples instead of cheek swabs, because he thought hair would be easier to collect without anyone noticing. Over the course of several babysitting sessions, Robert had been pulling hairs from Emma's head when she was sleeping or distracted. It took several sessions because he kept losing them. He said he'd been very careful to only take a few hairs at a time so we wouldn't notice.

He'd also been collecting Jake's hair from his old bedroom whenever Jake and I came over for family dinners. But here's the part that made me absolutely furious. Robert admitted that on that last day when I'd fallen asleep and left Emma with him, he'd actually given Emma some some liquid binadryl to make her sleepy so she wouldn't fuss while they collected more hair samples. He drugged my baby. Without my knowledge or consent, Robert had given medication to my eight-month old daughter to make his secret genetic testing easier. When Jake told me this, I completely lost it. I started crying and couldn't stop. The thought of Robert giving Emma medication without telling me made me feel physically sick.

What if she'd had an allergic reaction? What if he'd given her too much? What if something had gone wrong while I was sleeping upstairs? Jake was also really shaken by this revelation. He said he'd never imagined his dad would do something so dangerous and irresponsible. Giving medication to someone else's child without permission is not just inappropriate, it could have been really harmful. We immediately called Emma's pediatrician to ask about the safety of what Robert had done. The doctor was horrified when we explained the situation.

She said giving binadryl to an infant without medical supervision and parental consent was extremely dangerous and potentially illegal. The pediatrician explained that babies Emma's age can have unpredictable reactions to antihistamines, and that the dosing is very specific to their weight and medical history. She said Robert could have seriously harmed Emma, and that we should consider reporting the incident to the police. That conversation with the doctor made me realize how much worse this situation was than I'd originally thought. Robert hadn't just violated our privacy by secretly testing Emma's paternity. He'd actually endangered our daughter's health and safety to do it. I called the police to ask about our options for reporting what Robert had

done. The officer I spoke with said that giving medication to a child without parental consent could potentially be charged as child endangerment or assault. He said we could file a report if we wanted to pursue legal action. Jake was really conflicted about involving law enforcement. He said he understood why I was upset, but that getting his dad arrested might be going too far. He asked if we could handle this as a family matter instead of making it a legal issue. But I pointed out that this wasn't just a family disagreement anymore. Robert had committed what might be actual crimes against our daughter. The unauthorized medical testing, the secret drugging, all of it could be considered child abuse according to the pediatrician and the police officer. We decided to confront Robert

directly about the binadryl before deciding whether to file a police report. Jake called his dad and asked him to come over so we could all talk about what had happened. When Robert arrived, he could tell we were really upset. Jake asked him, him to explain again about giving Emma the binadryl, and Robert got defensive immediately. He said he'd only given her a tiny amount, just enough to make her sleepy so she wouldn't be difficult while he collected the hair samples. I asked Robert if he realized how dangerous it was to give medication to a baby without telling her parents. He said he'd looked up the dosing online and had been very careful. He claimed he'd given her less than the recommended

amount, so there was no real risk. But that answer made me even angrier. Robert had essentially conducted a medical experiment on my daughter based on internet research. He had no medical training, no knowledge of Emma's health history, and no right to make decisions about medicating her. When I pointed this out, Robert said I was being dramatic and that Emma had been fine. He said lots of parents give their kids Benadryl to help them sleep, and that he'd been more careful than most people would be. Jake asked his dad why he'd thought it was okay to drug Emma without telling US, and Robert said he'd known we would overreact if he asked permission. He claimed he'd been trying to spare us

the stress of dealing with his concerns about Emma's paternity. I told Robert that what he'd done was child abuse and that we were considering reporting him to the authorities. He got really angry and said I was being ridiculous, that he was Emma's grandfather and would never hurt her. But Jake backed me up. He told his dad that giving Emma, medication without our knowledge was completely unacceptable, regardless of his intentions. Jake said he was disappointed and shocked that his father would endanger Emma's safety for any reason. Robert tried to argue that he'd been protecting Jake from potentially raising another man's child, and that a little binadryl was a small price to pay for that peace of mind.

He said we should be grateful that he'd cared enough to find out the truth. The conversation ended with Robert storming out of our house, saying we were both being ungrateful and dramatic. He said he'd done nothing wrong and that we'd regret cutting him out of Emma's life over this. After he left, Jake and I talked about what to do next. Jake was really struggling with the situation because he'd never seen this side of his father before. He said he felt like he didn't know Robert anymore, and that he was scared about what else his dad might be capable of. We decided to file a police report about the unauthorized drugging. Even if nothing comes of it legally, we wanted there to be an official record of what Robert had done in case something like this happens again.

We also decided to get a restraining order to keep Robert away from Emma. The pediatrician had recommended this as a way to legally protect Emma from any future unauthorized medical interventions. Jake's mom called later that day, crying and begging us not to involve the police. She said Robert was just trying to be a good father and grandfather, and that we were destroying the family over a misunderstanding. But I don't think secretly drugging someone's baby can be called a misunderstanding. Robert made deliberate choices to endanger Emma's health for his own purposes. That's not something I can forgive or forget.