Reddit Stories - DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DISREGARDED me for 8 years and then UNEXPECTEDLY turned kind for 2

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #relationshipadvice #forgiveness #unexpectedkindness #reconciliationSummary: After 8 years of being disregarded by my daughter-in-law, she unexpectedly showed kindness for 2 years. The sudden change in behavior left me feeling conflicted but hopeful for a renewed relationship with her.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familydrama, relationshipadvice, forgiveness, unexpectedkindness, reconciliation, daughterinlaw, kindness, conflicted, hopeful, renewedrelationship, changeinbehavior, disregarded, conflictedfeelings, renewedhope, renewedbondBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Daughter-in-law disregarded me for eight years and then unexpectedly turned kind for two months before openly requesting $50,000 from me for her wedding, so I confronted her and she cut my husband off from future grandchildren. I, 44F, have been married to my husband Tom, 48M, for eight years. He has a daughter, Sinra, 24F, from his previous marriage. For context, Sinra has never accepted me. When Tom and I started dating, she was 16 and made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me.

I understood, divorce is hard on kids. I tried to give her space while still being friendly when we saw each other. Over the years, I've attended her high school graduation, college events, birthdays, always bringing thoughtful gifts and trying to engage with her interests. She would barely acknowledge me, often leaving rooms when I entered, or talking over me when I tried to contribute to conversations. Tom would gently talk to her about being polite, but I always told him not to push it. I figured she'd come around in her own time.

Her mom, Julie, 46F, and I are cordial. We're not friends but we can be in the same room without issues. About two months ago, Sinra started being nice to me. Like, actually nice. She'd text me funny memes, ask about my work, even invited me to lunch just the two of us. I was thrilled. After eight years, I thought we were finally making progress. Tom was over the moon. Last weekend was her engagement party. Her fiancé Jake, 26M, seems like a nice guy. The party was at a restaurant, about 40 people. Halfway through, Sinra stood up to make a speech. She thanked

everyone for coming, talked about Jake, then turned to Tom and me. She said something like, I also want to thank my dad and Marie for being here. Marie, I know we've had our differences, but I've really enjoyed getting to know you better these past few weeks. You've shown me what it means to be generous and caring. I was getting emotional, thinking this was a breakthrough moment. Then she continued, which is why I know you'll be happy to help make my dream wedding come true. Dad mentioned you came into some money from your mom's estate last year, and since you don't

have kids of your own, I thought you might want to contribute to your stepdaughter's special. special day. The venue we won is $50,000 for the whole package. The room went silent. And all I could think was that the past two months had been an act to get to my inheritance. My mom left me about $200,000 after she passed last year. I stood up and said, so the past two months were fake. You were just buttering me up for money? Sinra rolled her eyes and said it's not fake to be nice to family when you need help. That's what families do. I said, family? I haven't been family to you for eight years.

I've been an inconvenience you couldn't wait to get away from. And now that I have something you want, suddenly I'm family. I grabbed my purse and left. Tom followed me out. He was mortified and said we should go back in and handle it privately. I was too upset and just went home. Since then, I've gotten texts from Sinra calling me selfish and dramatic. Julie texted saying I humiliated Sinra at her own party.

Tom is on my side but thinks I should have handled it differently instead of making a scene. I'd offer calling her out publicly and leaving. Comment 1. NTA. The audacity to publicly pressure you into paying for a $50,000 wedding after treating you like garbage for nearly a decade is astounding. She deliberately put you on the spot thinking you wouldn't dare say no in front of everyone. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Ops reply, that's what hurt the most, using the public setting as leverage.

She knew exactly what she was doing. Comment two. Did your husband know about your inheritance? Did he ever discuss it with Ops' reply, yes, Tom knew about the inheritance. We're transparent about finances. He says he mentioned it in passing when Sinra was complaining about wedding costs, but swears he never suggested I would pay for anything. He was trying to be sympathetic about how expensive weddings are these days.

I believe him, he's been very careful about keeping finances separate regarding the kids. Comment 3. What kind of nice things was she doing during those two months? I'm curious about the effort level of this con. Ops reply, it was all surface level. Sending TikToks, asking how my day was, complimenting my outfit. The lunch we had, she spent most of it talking about wedding planning. She even asked my opinion on centerpieces and acted like she valued my input. I thought we were bonding over wedding stuff since I love event design.

Now I realize she was just setting the stage. Comment 4. Esh. She sucks for obvious reasons, but you could have just said we'll discuss this privately later and avoided the dramatic exit. You lowered yourself to her level by coffee. causing a scene at her engagement party." Ops reply, Maybe you're right. I was just so shocked and heard in the moment. Eight years of rejection followed by two months of fake friendship just to get to money my dead

mother left me. I couldn't pretend everything was fine. But I do wonder if I should have kept it together for Tom's sake. Update 1, Hi Everyone. Thank you for all the responses to my original post. I've read every comment, even the ones calling me TA. I wanted to provide an update because things have escalated. Since the engagement party, Julie, Tom's ex, has been blowing up my phone.

At first it was just texts saying I need to apologize for ruining Sinra's special moment. I didn't respond, hoping she'd cool off. Yesterday she showed up at my home while my husband was away. She launched into this whole speech about how I've always been jealous of her relationship with Tom. and how I'm punishing Sinra for protecting her family dynamic. She said Sinra was trying to include me and I threw it in her face. I tried to stay calm and said Julie, Sinra ignored me for eight years and then suddenly became my best friend

when she found out about my inheritance. That's manipulative. Julie's response? She's a kid who's been through a lot. Her parents divorced, her dad remarried someone who tried to replace me. Of course she was guarded. And when she finally opens up, you attack her. I pointed out that Sinra is 24, not a child, and that I never tried to replace anyone.

I just wanted to be treated with basic respect. Julie said I'm too sensitive and that Sinra was just being strategic about her wedding planning like any smart bride would be. Strategic. She actually used that word like it was a positive thing. I told her to leave or I'd call the police. She left but not before saying Tom will see. who you really are eventually. You can't keep a father from his daughter. Tom was livid. He called

Julie and told her to back off. He also talked to Sinra and told her that her mom's behavior is unacceptable. Sinra's response was to cry and say everyone is ganging up on her when she just wanted help with her wedding. The manipulation runs deep in this family dynamic. Tom is starting to see it, but he's struggling because this is his daughter. He loves her despite her. everything. Jake, the fiancé, also reached out to Tom. Apparently Sinra has been telling a very different version of events, that she's been trying to bond with me for years but I've always been cold, and that she thought asking for wedding help would finally bring us together. Jake seemed to believe her version and wanted Tom to know how hurt Sinra is. Tom said him straight about the timeline

and how Sinra has treated me. Jake seemed surprised. I don't think Sinra has been honest with him, about our history. I'm not paying for the wedding. Tom and I are united on that. But the guilt trips keep coming. I'm exhausted. Tom has been wonderful through all this, but I can see it's killing him to be at odds with his daughter. I hate that I'm the cause of this rift, even though logically I know Sinra and Julie are the ones creating the conflict. Comment 1. The fact that Sinra is lying to her fiancé about your history is very telling. She knows her behavior was wrong, otherwise why lie? Jake needs to know he's marrying someone who can rewrite history to suit her narrative. Op's reply, that's what bothered Tom the most. He's always been honest about

the challenges with Sinra accepting me. To find out she's been painting a completely different picture to Jake. It made him question what other stories she's changed. Comment two. What's the custody slash visitation history? How often did Tom see Sinra after the divorce? Ops reply, Tom had 50 to 50 custody until Sinra was 18. She chose to live with Julie full-time her senior year of high school. Tom never missed a visitation, game, or school event. Even when Sinra was cold to both of us, he always showed up.

After 18, she'd see him maybe once a month for dinner, without me. That increased to weekly dinners when she started college. I've always encouraged their relationship and never asked to be included when she clearly didn't want me there. Update 2. Things have somehow gotten worse. After reading some comments suggesting I could have declined privately, I decided to extend an olive branch. Not because I think I was wrong, but because Tom is suffering and I hate seeing him in pain. I texted Sinra asking if we could meet for coffee to talk things through. She agreed, which surprised me.

We met at a neutral location yesterday. I started by saying I was sorry for the way things went down at her party. I said something like I should have handled my response more privately. I was hurt and reacted emotionally, and I'm sorry for that. Sinra's response? I don't accept your apology. I was taken aback but asked what she meant. She said, you've humiliated me in front of my friends and friends.

family. A private apology doesn't fix public humiliation. Besides, I don't think you're really sorry. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. I took a deep breath and asked if we could talk about the past two months. I said I was genuinely hurt because I thought we were finally building a relationship. She laughed. Then said, I was being nice to you for your benefit. Marie. Dad kept saying how much it hurt you that we weren't close. I thought if I was friendly for a while, you'd feel included and want to help with a wedding. It was supposed to be a win-win. You'd feel like family, and I'd get help with my special day.

But you had to make it all about you and your feelings. I asked her if she understood how manipulative that sounded. She said, it's not manipulation, it's consideration. I considered your feelings by being nice to you. The least you could do is consider mine by helping with the wedding. The mental gymnastics were impressive. I told her that real relationships aren't transactional like that. She said I was being naive and that all relationships have give and take.

Then she delivered her ultimatum. She wants me to apologize publicly, either at a family dinner with her mom present or on social media where her friends can see it. She wants me to say I overreacted and that I misunderstood her intentions. If I do that, she'll consider inviting me to the wedding. If not, I'm not welcome. I said I needed to think about it and left. When I told Tom, he was disgusted.

He called Sinra immediately and told her she was being manipulative and cruel. Her response? She cried and said he was choosing Marie over his own daughter and that he'd regret it when she has kids and he's not part of their lives. Tom told her he loves her but won't enable this behavior. Sinra hung up on him. Julie immediately texted calling Tom a pathetic excuse for a father and saying he'll die alone with his gold digger wife. For the record, I make good money and have never needed Tom's financial support. The irony of being called a gold digger while refusing to fund someone else's luxury wedding

is not lost on me. Tom's parents also called last night. Sinra had called them crying about how we're excluding her and refusing to support her marriage. We explained the situation and thank Thankfully, they're on our side. Tom's mom actually said, I love Sinra, but she's acting like a spoiled brat. Jake texted Tom asking if there was any way to work this out because Sinra has been devastated and it's affecting their relationship. Tom told him the full story again and suggested Jake talked to Sinra about her expectations. I'm not apologizing publicly for calling out manipulative behavior. Tom supports this decision, but I can see he's heartbroken. He went for a long walk last night and came back with red eyes. Seeing him grieve his relationship with his daughter is awful.

I don't know where we go from here. I hate being the center of this drama, but I also can't reward this behavior. Tom says he's proud of me for standing up for myself, but I can see the cost of this stand in his eyes. Comment one, has Jake given any indication of what he thinks about all this? The fact he keeps reaching out to Tom makes me think he might be seeing some red flags. Ops reply, Jake seems uncomfortable with the situation but is trying to stay neutral. Tom thinks Jake is starting to see a side of Sinra he didn't know existed. He asked Tom a lot of questions about Sinra's past behavior toward me. Tom was honest but tried not to bash Sinra, just gave facts.

Jake seemed troubled by what he heard. Comment two, the threat about grandchildren is textbook manipulation. She's already planning to use future kids as pawns. Document everything in case you need it for grandparents' rights for Tom later, depending on your state. Ops reply, that comment about grandchildren really shook Tom. He's always dreamed of being a grandfather. The fact that she's already weaponizing hypothetical children shows how deep this goes. We are keeping records of everything just in case. Update 3. I didn't plan to update again but something significant happened and I need perspective.

After the coffee shop meeting, things went quiet for about a week. Tom and Sinra weren't speaking, which was eating him alive. He kept checking his phone hoping she'd reach out. Then Sinra started texting him. Not about reconciling, but random complaints about me. Things like, remember when Marie wore white to my college graduation party? So disrespectful, Marie never even tried to bond with me when I was younger, she always made me feel unwelcome in my own father's house for context. I wore a cream-colored

sundress to an outdoor graduation party where half the guests were in white or cream because it was 95 degrees. I tried many times to bond with teenage Cynra, offered to take her shopping, to movies, tried to engage with her interests. She rebuffed every attempt. And I never made her unwelcome, I gave her space and respect, which is what she seemed to want. Tom initially did respond to these texts. But they kept coming, getting progressively nastier, Marie probably can't have kids and that's why she's jealous of me, you'll regret choosing her over me when you're old and she dumps you for someone richer that last one broke Tom. He called Sinra and apparently went off. He told me he said something like, I'm not choosing Marie over you.

I'm choosing respect and decency over manipulation and cruelty. You're my daughter and I love you, but I don't like who you've become. Marie has shown you nothing but kindness for eight years while you've treated her like dirt. And now you're lying about her and trying to poison our relationship. This isn't the daughter I raised. Sinra started screaming that he was brainwashed and that I've turned him against her.

She said Julie was right about me all along, though she didn't specify what Julie had said. She told him he was dead to her and that when she has children, they'll never know his name. Tom hung up. I found him in our bedroom just staring at the wall. He looked broken. I held him while he cried. This 48-year-old man who I've rarely seen shed a tear just sobbed in my arms. Here's where it gets worse. Sinra went nuclear on social media. She posted a long rant about toxic parents who

choose new families over their children and how she's breaking generational trauma by cutting out negativity. She didn't name us, but anyone who knows the situation knows who she met. Tom's sister called asking what happened. So did several of his friends. Sinra's post made it sound like Tom abandoned her for me, with no mention of her behavior. Jake called Tom that night. The conversation was interesting. Jake said he's been trying to understand Sinra's perspective, but he's struggling because her stories

keep changing. First, I was mean to her for years. then I was cold and distant, now apparently I was controlling and manipulative. He asked Tom point-blank, has Marie ever actually done anything mean to Sinra? Tom was honest, told him no, I've never been anything but kind and respectful. Jake was quiet for a long time then said he needed to think about some things. The next day, Sinra called Tom screaming that he turned Jake against her and that if they break up, it's our fault. Apparently Jake had asked her for specific examples of my

cruel behavior and she couldn't provide any. When he pushed, she accused him of taking our side. Tom's parents are furious with Sinra. They've tried reaching out to her, but she won't answer their calls. Tom's mom is heartbroken. Sinra was her first grandchild and they were close. I feel guilty. I know logically this isn't my fault, but I can't help feeling responsible for Tom's pain. He reassures me constantly, but I see how much this is destroying him. Julie continues to harass us. She drives by our house sometimes, we have a ring camera. She sent Tom emails calling him a failure as a father.

We're considering a restraining order but Tom is hesitant because he worries it will destroy any chance of reconciliation with Sinra. I don't think Sinra wants reconciliation though. I think she wants submission. And that's something neither Tom nor I can give her. Comment one, Jake is seeing the red flags. The fact that her stories keep changing and she can't provide actual examples is very telling. This might be the wake-up call Sinra needs.

Or she'll double down and lose him too. Ops reply, I feel bad for Jake. He seems like a decent guy who's suddenly realizing his fiancé might not be who he thought she was. Tom told him he respects him for asking hard questions instead of just blindly accepting Sinra's version. Comment two, what was Sinra like before the divorce? Has she always been this manipulative or is this new behavior? Op's reply, according to Tom, Sinra was a sweet kid but always had a stubborn streak. The divorce happened when she was 12 and she took it hard. Julie apparently talked badly about Tom during the divorce. He found out later from Sinra's

teenage diary she left at his house. By the time I came along when Sinra was 16, she was She was already primed to hate any woman Tom dated. The manipulation seems to have gotten worse as she's gotten older, or maybe she's just less subtle about it now. Update 4, this will likely be my final update. I want to thank everyone who has followed this saga and offered support. Two days ago, Sinra showed up at our house unannounced. Tom and I were home.

The doorbell rang and when Tom answered, there was Sinra with tears in her eyes. She asked if they could talk. Tom let her in and called for me to join them. Sinra looked right through me like I wasn't there and said I came to talk to my dad. Alone, Tom said Marie is my wife. She's part of this conversation. Sinra continued to act like I wasn't there.

She spoke only to Tom, wouldn't look in my direction, and when I tried to speak once, she talked over me like I hadn't said anything. She told Tom she missed him and wanted to do. fix things between them. She said she'd been doing a lot of thinking and realized family is important. But here's the catch, her version of fixing things meant Tom would have a relationship with her completely separate from me. She actually proposed scheduled visits where Tom would come see her without me, holiday celebrations where I wouldn't be included, and future grandchildren who wouldn't know I exist. Tom asked what about Marie? She's my wife. She's family too.

She's response, she's your wife, not my family. I'm willing to have a relationship with you, Dad, but that's all I can offer. Take it or leave it. Tom looked at me, then back at Sinra and said I can't accept that. Marie and I are a unit. I won't have a relationship that excludes her. Sinra's mask slipped. She snapped so you are choosing her over me.

Tom stayed calm. I'm choosing not to enable this behavior. You don't have to like Marie, but you need to respect that she's my wife and treat her with basic courtesy. That's the minimum I'll accept. Sinra stood up and said, then I guess we're done here. Don't expect a wedding invitation. Don't expect to meet your grandchildren. You've made your choice.

As she was leaving, she turned back and finally looked at me. The hatred in her eyes was chilling. She said, I hope you're happy. You got what you wanted. you've successfully separated a father from his daughter. I found my voice and said Sinra, I've never wanted that. I've only ever wanted to be treated with respect. She laughed and said respect. You want respect? You're nothing to me. You'll always be nothing. Just the woman who destroyed my family. And then she left. Tom broke down after she left. We held each other and cried.

He kept apologizing to me for what she said. I told him none of this is his fault. I'd give Jake will get married to Sinra, but I don't want to write any more updates. As far as I am concerned, this drama ends here. So thank you all for your support through this difficult time. Tom and I are focusing on our marriage and the family who actually loves and respects us. It's not the ending we wanted, but it's the ending Sinra chose.