Reddit Stories - DECIDED to cut off COMMUNICATION with my FATHER when he left me for

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #cutoff #toxicrelationships #fatherissues #selfcare  Summary: The author shares their decision to sever communication with their father after he abandoned them. This choice stems from years of emotional neglect and pain, leading to a realization that prioritizing their mental health is essential. The narrative explores the complexities of familial relationships and the pursuit of self-worth.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familydynamics, emotionalhealth, personalgrowth, mentalwellness, toxicfamily, selfpreservation, lifechoices, healingjourney, relationshipadvice, boundaries, selflove, empowerment, introspection, personalstories, supportBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Decided to cut off communication with my father when he left me for his secret partner. Eventually, I gave in to the insistence of others to mend our relationship, but then he and his mistress verbally descended. Me during the dinner. When I was 13, my dad had an affair, left my mom and moved in with his affair partner, who I'll call Jean. At first, my sister and I would visit every weekend, and I will admit he was a good dad,

although I never liked Jean. When Jean got pregnant and had their son, our visits became less frequent, and my dad was more concerned with his new family. He would miss some of my recitals or my sister's competitions because he was busy with his son. When I was 16, Jean decided she wanted to move for a new job opportunity. My sister and I begged him not to leave us, but he just said, I need to prioritize my family. He moved 10 hours away, and that pretty much ended our relationship. After that, I decided to go no contact as it was clear he did not consider me family. My younger sister stayed in contact with him. He would try and call me and offer for me to come and visit with my sister, but I refused. When he would come back to see my sister, I would

refuse to speak to him when he turned up at the house. I didn't invite him to my high school or college graduations. I'm now 33 and have remained in no contact with him. Over the years, He has repeatedly tried contacting me and getting his family to contact me on his behalf to reconcile. I have avoided family events in case he attended, including my sister's wedding and baby showers. Now, three months ago, my dad and his family moved back to our hometown, and he has been relentlessly trying to reconcile. I have received messages from my half-brother and sister wanting a relationship, saying he's a great dad.

My dad found out I'm getting married and keeps trying to contact me, even trying to spend to my fiancé. Gene messaged me saying that I have broken my dad's heart repeatedly, that I'm pathetic and should get therapy. I replied back that she was nothing more than a home-wrecking whore and then blocked her. Everyone seems to want me to let him back in my life. I'm sick of all the harassment and accidentally bumping into my dad and his family in town. Whenever I see him, I just walk away and refuse to speak to them. Everyone is saying he's a good dad and tried his best to remain in contact, but I pushed him away. Everyone is pressuring me, my mom, sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and even some of my

friends. My fiancé has even started saying I'm the off or shutting him out. It's all starting to get to me, so Ida? Comments Zest I Close Sky 1921 NTA, but this is going to be brutal if your fiancé doesn't get on board with your pirate ship. Depending on the size of your hometown and how serious he is about pushing this, you may need to consider moving, especially if everyone around you is involved. Dry Sandwich 860, you're allowed to have whatever kind of relationship you want with your father.

Did your fiancé have to deal with being abandoned by your dad? Nope. Your sister was younger than you and may not have felt the loss as you did. You have the right to feel angry and hurt. Blockchain This is the woman who pressured your father to leave your town. She had an affair with them that broke up your family. Your father did those things, too. Neither one of them has any right to tell you how to react or feel.

Deadbeat parents love to get back in their kids' lives when the kids are adults and no longer need to be parented, and things are easy. You should feel totally free to do what is right for you. Tell everyone else that you no longer want to hear about this. they don't get to dictate how you feel. Whenever anyone brings it up, leave the room or put down the phone. Do not tolerate it, and people will learn to shut up. Koridix, NTA, I'd send them all a clear message that you do not consider him family after he

quite clearly told you, when you were 16, that you are not family. Are they currently aware of this? And also make it clear that you will start cutting them out of your life if they do not stop harassing you about this. Perhaps just throw them all in a group chat for this so you can send it once to everybody? Your fiancé siding with them instead of respecting your pretty clear boundary is worrying and would make me reconsider the marriage if he doesn't cut it out fast as that's a massive red flag that doesn't bode well for your future with him. More info, edit, thank you for your comments.

I haven't gotten through all of them, but I'm glad to know that most of you think I'm NTA, which is a huge relief as I thought I was going insane. As most of you pointed out, I'm going to have a serious conversation with my fiancé. He should have my back. If he continues to defend my dad, then I'm going to have to think if this relationship should go any further. We are 12 weeks out from the wedding, but we need to sort this out sooner rather than later. For information, I own a local business, and moving away is not an option. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, and my dad is friends with a lot of people, including my fiancé's family. Also, my dad did not come back for me, he came back because Jane's parents needed help and care.

He has not financially supported me since I was 17. He withheld my college fund to try and blackmail me into having a relationship with him, so I had to work and get loans. I've avoided events because my family uses it as a chance to force reconciliation. He also won't leave me alone and make scenes, he'll come up to me talking as if nothing has happened, trying to hug me or start crying. and I can't simply cut everyone off, everyone is on his side and against me, including my mother. Edit 2, to give you all a bit more context, when he left my mom for Jane, he only wanted us on the weekend. My mom offered him 50 to 50, but he refused. I didn't like Jane and was standoffish with her because I knew what they had done my sister was too young to understand and was more

accepting of her. Jane was mean to me but nice to my sister when I was at my dad's. I felt uncoffish. I felt and she would purposefully leave me out of fun activities or plan things purely for my sister. We had a few arguments over minor things, but my dad always took her side. My dad and I used to have daddy-daughter dates at least once every two weeks. Jane put a stop to that. When she had my half-brother, we went from going every weekend to once every six weeks. My dad was M-I-A and had finally gotten his precious son. He stopped trying with me.

When they moved, I was so upset that he chose to leave us. He didn't want custody, he just wanted us to visit him now and again and speak to him on the phone. Parenting at a distance, so all of his focus was on his new family. When I graduated from high school and refused to invite him, everything blew up. Jane called me some terrible names, and so did my dad. He refused to give me my college fund unless I started being part of the family again. From what I gathered, he spent it on his new family. I'm sick of being the one to miss out on events with my family.

I would be willing to be in the same room but not interact or even be civil, but he pushes things and makes it impossible. Update 1, thank you for all of the comments. Although most seem to be NTA, some were O ODA. Some of you gave helpful suggestions, which I am planning to take on board. I have just spoken to my fiancé, and, unfortunately, it has not gone well, but at this point in time, I've had enough and want to run away and never come back. My fiancé knows my history with my dad and Jane. I explained to him that deciding with my father and pressuring me was hurting me, and as my fiancé,

he should be supporting me. My fiancé, who I'll call Lou, told me he can't support me in doing something that he knows is wrong. He told me that he had spoken to my father. and had an understanding of both sides of the story. He was told that I was standoffish and mean to Jane on meeting her, which put us on the wrong foot. That my dad has tried consistently over the years to reconnect with me, but I have ignored all attempts. That I've upset family members by refusing to attend birthdays, weddings, baby showers, etc.,

because he was attending. That I walked out of my fiancé's parents party three weeks ago because my dad was there. and that I won't speak and will ignore my half-brother, 18, and half-sister, 14, if I see them. Still, he believes that if we both sat down and talked, we could sort this out and reconcile. I told Lou I didn't want this and wanted no contact and asked why he was even speaking to my father. Lou admitted his father, who is friends with my dad, encouraged him to speak to him and hear him out. Lou told me my dad loved me very much and always wanted to be in my life and has pictures of me. I'm guessing he got these from my family as my social media is set to private.

Lou said my dad is heartbroken at the state of our relationship because I was being unreasonable about him moving away when I was young. Lou stated I got on the wrong foot with Jane and that I was not innocent in the breakdown of the relationship. He told me that everyone can see the truth but me and to look in the mirror because I'm the problem. Needless to say, I broke down crying and asked him why he was doing this to me and not supporting me.

Lou claims to love me but won't stand by and watch me be a heartless bitch. After he said this, I stood up, told him that he shouldn't marry a heartless bitch and walked out. I'm currently sitting in my car. My phone is blowing up with Lou trying to contact me, but I don't want to speak to him. I feel like I'm losing everything and everyone. I don't understand what is happening. Update 2. Hi everyone.

Thanks for the comments and for letting me sound off on you, as I desperately need an outside perspective. I know a lot of you are telling me to cut all contact with my family and leave town. That is not an option for me financially, and I would not be able to set up a business elsewhere. All my money is invested in it, and I have only managed to get established recently with a steady income, so relocating is not an option for me. Also, I love my friends and family and don't want to cut everyone off. I love my hometown, I grew up here. This is my life, and I'm not willing to to walk away from it. Now, I didn't expect to write another update this fast, but a lot has happened today. So, first, I agreed to meet my dad to talk and try to get him to back off and leave me

alone. I asked my mom to arrange it just him, no one else. I wasn't sure if he would agree to that, but within 15 minutes of her calling, he was at the door. I asked my mom to stay and meditate. I asked him to give me space, to stop trying to get everyone on his side and let me. live my life. I told him he stopped being my father when he moved ten hours away. I told him Jane was mean to me and told him about all the horrible things she had said to me over the years. I hate how he chose Jane and his new family over me, how he told me he had to prioritize them, and how he basically told me I wasn't family. I told him he was an offer with holding my college fund, trying to blackmail me, and then spending it on his new family and that I hate how I have

missed major family events because he attended and would make them awkward. I told him I don't see his son and daughter as my family, and I'm sick of them trying to speak to me and approach me. He keeps making scenes every time he sees me and making me look like the bad guy. He keeps inserting himself into my life, going to my fiancé's family events, going behind my back to talk and sway Lou to his side. I hate how he cheated on my mom and broke our family up and then listened to Jane, who stopped our dates, miss my recitals, reduced contact and was more concerned about his son. He said he loves me and always has. He is never going to give up trying to reconnect, and he has given me enough space over the years. He is done

hearing about my life from secondhand knowledge and is not willing to miss any more of it. He loves Jane and can't regret his past because he wouldn't have her or his two kids. He wishes he had done it differently and ended his marriage with my mom first. He said his kids are innocent, and I shouldn't be taking it out on them. They just want to know their big sister. He also said that I was a difficult child who was rude and disrespectful to Jane, breaking her belongings, calling her names, and ruining day trips. When Jane got pregnant, she was high risk, and my coming every week and starting arguments was stressing her out. So for her and his son's sake, he stopped the weekend visitation. He still spoke to us on the phone and took us out for dinner and days out,

but just didn't let us sleep over. When his son was born, he was premature and had health complications, which meant him staying in hospital for weeks and frequent hospital admissions. Jane was also going through PPD, so he wasn't able to see us as much and had to miss some events when he was taking care of Jane and his son. Jane was unable to get a job locally, and the opportunity was too good to pass up, so they had to move. He pointed out that he came back to town for weekends as much as he could to see us and would always invite us to fly out and spend vacations with him. He phoned every day, but I refused to speak to

or see him. They had flown in for my graduation, but I refused to invite him, and he lost his temper and refused to give me my college fund. He apologized for this and tried to fix this a few weeks later and give me the money, but I refused. He has not spent the money, he still has it, and I have only to ask, and I can have it. He had visited me at my college to try to talk to me, but I refused to see him. He then said he was not going to miss family events. He makes a scene because he misses me and just wants to talk to me and reconcile, but I always end up running away or shouting insults at him and Jane. He has been trying for 16 years to reconnect, but I shut him down at every turn and he just wants to be my dad. He is an old friend of my fiancé's dad, and he hoped my fiancé could talk

some sense into me and open a line of communication. He feels I never gave Jane a chance, no matter how she tried in the beginning and hoped we could be civil. Jane hates knowing I talk bad about her, am mean to her children and won't speak to him. Then he said that he is in therapy and wants me to join him for family sessions. He wants me to spend time with him one-on-one, stop being rude and mean to his children, stop trash-talking Jane to everyone, and actually give her a chance. He also wants me to invite him and his family to my wedding and walk me down the aisle. I want him to stop talking to my friends and getting others to try and talk to me on his behalf. I want him to keep Jane away from me completely and that I'll be civil at events or in town providing he does

not try and hug me or talk to me. My mom told him he was being unrealistic about some of the things he wants, especially regarding Jane and his other children. So we have agreed for now that I will attend three therapy sessions with him when he arranges it. My mom thinks I need individual therapy as well. That he will stop trying to interfere in my life and relationships, and that he will keep Jane away from me and talk to his kids to give me space. On my side, I will be civil to him in public as long as he respects my personal space and does not approach or pressure me. As for my fiancé, I still haven't spoken to him. He turned up at my mom's, but she refused to let him in. He keeps blowing up my phone, and so do his family and friends, telling me to hear him out.

During my conversation with my dad, I found out my dad has paid for most of the vendors and services for my upcoming wedding, and they have been on speaking terms for quite some time, longer than I thought. Lou told me his family had paid for these and I believed him. I feel betrayed by him, and I can't trust him. I'm going to have to speak to him eventually, but I don't feel ready. Update 3, I'm updating for those who have asked for an update and were supportive of me. This will be my last post. and I won't be posting again. Firstly, the deal with my dad is off the table. He couldn't even manage a week without overstepping my boundaries. So there will be no therapy sessions with him, and I will remain no contact. As you are all aware, after speaking to my dad we agreed on a way forward in my conditions. Keep Jane away from me, tell his kids to back off and don't pressure me or invade my space.

It lasted three days. Everyone seemed happy I'd forgiven my dad and told me so. My sister was excited. I was willing to give him a chance, and with some pressure, I agreed to have dinner with just her and my dad. When my sister and I arrived at the restaurant to meet our dad, he was not alone. He had invited Jane, my grandparents, his son, and his daughter. He got up and tried to hug me. I immediately became upset and asked why they were there.

My dad told me that if we had any hope of repairing our relationship, I had to accept Jane and my younger siblings. I told him he had just broken our deal and to never contact me again and I tried to leave. He refused to let me leave and grabbed hold of me. When I say all hell broke loose, I mean it. I started shouting at them. My dad, Jane and grandparents tried to gaslight me and convince me to sit down. When that didn't work, things got very heated and a shouting match started, and a lot of unforgivable things were said by my dad and Jane including remarks about my appearance and calling me a psychopath. My half-brother walked out of the restaurant, and my half-sister started to cry. My sister actually surprised me and defended me, shouting at my dad for ruining

things after all this time when I had finally given him a chance. She even slapped Jane. She got me out of there and apologized to me. I think this was the first time she had really seen how Jane was with me and how she treated me. She kept saying she couldn't understand how dad had spent years saying he would do anything to have me back and then doing this when he finally got his chance to rebuild the relationship. My dad has been trying to contact me, but I have blocked him and refused to talk to him. I have also refused to speak to my grandparents. My dad has tried to convince my mom and sister to speak to me, but I think he's burned his bridges with them. The incident from the restaurant has spread, and some people seem to be backing off.

Like I said, what my dad and Jane shouted at me was unforgivable, and they were overheard, and this is a small town. Hopefully, people will back off, and those who won't am going to have to cut them out. My sister is very unhappy with my dad and Jane and is not speaking to them. She is blaming them for me not having contact with them again. My sister is not letting them see her kids. I don't know if my sister will reconcile, but right now, she is furious. My mom is also furious and apparently had a few choice words with my dad and Jane and has promised she will never pressure me to speak to him again. In any case, I'm going to go to individual therapy. I think I definitely need it.

I do feel bad about my half-siblings as they haven't done anything wrong. I am maybe open to having a distance kind of relationship with them in the future, but I'm not ready yet or know if I'll ever be. I did send them a message on Facebook to apologize and tell them they'd done nothing wrong. Lastly, to update you all, in regards to my fiancé, well, I spoke to him yesterday about everything. I had been radio silence since walking out on him. Basically, he was pressured by his father to speak to my dad and was fed a sobbed story of a misunderstood father desperately wanting to be in his daughter's life. Lou had become annoyed with me refusing to attend his family events and walking out of his mother's birthday party when I realized my

dad and Jane was there as he was getting pressure from his family about me ruining their events. He just wanted everyone to be happy and get along clearly at my expense. Lou admitted that my dad had paid for some of the vendors for the wedding, but he did not know this until after it had already been paid. His father had told Lou that he and his mom had paid. My dad had told Lou it was a gift and that it was his way of contributing. Lou admitted my dad had asked him to speak to me on his behalf. I told Lou he had betrayed my trust and I couldn't see myself marrying someone who does not support me. He broke down crying and apologizing to me and promising to never do it again.

Lou was heartbroken and begged for a second chance. To those of you who wanted me to break up with him, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we are going to try and work through this. Apart from this issue, he had been the best partner, and I genuinely think that his family and my dad manipulated him. Lou has promised to stand up to his family and stop contacting my dad. I'm still living at my mom's as I still need some space, which I won't have if I move home. We are going to contact our wedding vendors and see what our options are next week.

Elle is begging for a postponement rather than canceling it altogether. We may still break up, as actions speak louder than words, and I need to see. if he can rebuild what we had and show me I can trust and depend on him.