Reddit Stories - DECLINED to cease sharing my TRADITIONS with my OFFSPRING when his birth mother

Episode Date: January 17, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydynamics #tradition #parenting #relationships #boundaries  Summary: A parent refuses to stop sharing their cultural traditions with their child, despite the objections of the child's birth mother. This situation raises questions about the importance of heritage, the rights of parents, and the impact of family dynamics on children's upbringing and identity.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, family, culture, parenting, traditions, relationships, boundaries, birthmother, offspring, heritage, conflict, communication, values, support, advice, communityBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Declined to cease sharing my traditions with my offspring when his birth mother insisted that I only communicate in the English language within my residence, but then I became expecting and she utterly changed. I have been with my 32F, husband, 39M, for about seven years. He has a son from a former relationship, 9M, and we didn't even know he even existed until about five years ago when his ex, 40F, contacted him demanding child support. She admits the only reason she even let him know about the kid was because she found out we were engaged and she wanted to reign on his parade. After a lot of back and forward and legal shenanigans we got sort of 50 to 50.

First was therapy, visitation, etc., but we are now at 50 to 50. Anyway, I come from Latin America and my stepson is really fascinated by many of the cultural things and the language. He has met my parents on their last visit, and he is really a lovely, bright and curious kid. He started catching up with some of the words and now we speak Spanish on a daily basis when he is with us. His mom didn't have an issue until he started to ask if he can come to my country next time we visit. We told him we got to discuss it amongst the adults but he is very interested. We got no issue. My family has said that he is more than welcome. I come from blended fam and we would of course cover all the costs. She really dislikes the

idea, but not because of the travel or anything else but because she believes we, I, are using money to turn him against her. There are many issues between them already because he thinks she is a liar for not telling him about his dad and yeah, it's hard sometimes. But we talk a lot, s. Dot's son and I, about having blending families and understanding parents. Anyway, she told me I had to stop encouraging slash sharing the language and the culture in my house when he is with us and speak the home country language or English. I said no. I have been very passive through the whole thing, since the beginning, but I am exhausted of her demands. I understand she is his mom, but I see no harm on the kids speaking Spanish like a native plus the other two he does and I see

no issue with him traveling abroad and having more cultural connections. Hell, I even offered to pay for her to come along with her husband. She says I am a very big snobbish asshole and she is going to see how to keep the kid away from me, not possible. Her husband says I should be more understanding and not step on her toes when the kid already is not her biggest fan. My husband says he just wants the best for the kid and sees no wrong with him learning and traveling. I would like an outside impartial perspective about it. Update 1, I want to thank all the nice messages, the mean messages, and the realistic messages. Anyway, my stepson is now staying most of the time with us. We had no battle or issue it is just what we decided after a proper heart-to-heart conversation between moms.

When the time comes where there is a possibility to go to my country, we will discuss it again, but at the moment it is a yes. The heart-to-heart was a very emotional, complex talk, but I felt it had to happen. She is after all part of my life forever, and I want her to know she is the mommy no matter what. I saw a completely different side of her, and I know it is not a magic wand, but I have noticed the changes. I am pregnant, I am. I know I should not say so, so early I was already when I made my first post but didn't even know, but we are all so positive and almost on the clear line. Even my S.son's mom.

Everybody has taken it as a celebration and the only time we had issue was when we talked bedrooms at our flat because my son thought he had to give a super nice one for my true baby section as he called it. But we assured him his bedroom is forever his unless we move. My parents will be arriving in the next months and asked if they can bring extra gifts to my son, so it is an easier transition and his mom said yes. It seems somehow me having a baby has made her realize we are so linked or I don't know. Maybe it was my husband saying he would not allow more disrespect, L.O.L. My parents also asked if it was okay to bring gifts for her kid and she

said yes as well. My mom is the happiest person now because she is in full shopping mode, L.O.L. She has been very civil and even nice, and in response, she has gained a better relationship with our son. I am convinced he is smart enough to orchestrate all of it. But I have mommy slash baby brain. We have agreed to raise them all as together as possible. Her kids, our kids, our kid, I said I can contribute to the education fund for all kids if she allows me. She said yes on the condition they all go to the same school underscore I want my kids in Spanish Kaida. She wants hers in normal Kaida underscore I thought we would have World War II again, but her husband told her my kids will speak Spanish no matter what she wants and it is a useful

language so all kids in our tribe should speak Spanish and she agreed, I almost fainted. Now we decided to divide care after daycare in Quedas pre-kindergarten slash kindergarten and I will speak to the kids in Spanish so they are naturals. My son is the happiest because now he feels all his families are in sync and he can just chill and it makes me extremely happy. In addition, she said my son can come with us if he wants but we need to let her know at least a year in advance and she is doing the same with us which I find reasonable. Update 2. I know no one might see this, but I got a couple of messages people found at heartwarming,

some not exactly, so, we have little announcements and clarifications. She, son's mom, has always been in therapy. It was determined when this all started back in the day. She was never outright cruel or super mean. It was just that she was not nice to me or my relationship until now that she tries. She gets a say as much as I get a say in education. I know is weird, but I was raised in some sort of communal weird experience and we all excel in our areas. I would never do anything to put distance between my son and his siblings.

I am trying to instate that they are his siblings and for the one he already has it's the way. If he doesn't like it, I will drop it, but he seems very receptive to the mixed family. She has issues that have come from other places childhood, family, so on, and she is truly trying to be better and not be the person that did things to just ruin an engagement. My son stays mainly with us lately because he wants and that has made his relationship with his mother better. My son is even written in my parents' will. That is how much I love him so yes. He is my son too. My parents are here and will be staying for a while. My in-laws are very careful on their excitement and my parents, with permission, got my son on a little adventure and assured him

they love him very, very much and their love is infinite. He feels better now because he said he felt maybe they won't love him anymore because of my real baby. He is in therapy, always has, but now we have addressed it. He made it clear he wants me to still love him like I do and I have assured him I will, I do, I always will. He is going to a solo trip with his dad and another solo trip with both dads. My husband and her husband have always got a good relationship and I think it never got better cause of the stuff. My son is involved in the naming of the baby. It is between us three only. The drama portion, my husband wants us to move so we have bigger bedrooms for everybody but I don't feel like it because, you know, pregnancy and adaptation. I want my son to be

able to adapt before we start moving. My husband believes I am just cuddling him way too much, but I explained my perspective being from a blended fam as a kid and he backed off. When we look for a place we will be looking for one that we all like. End of drama portion, I am an insomniac and has not changed at all. So here we are, ha-ha, only I drink no more wine anymore, L-O-L. My son's mom is actually giving me really good tips. We are working in our own wills and so on.

Because I am developing a fear about the children's futreier. And lastly, my husband is the most patient, caring, loving, goofy man. I know I got little critics saying he should have put it off when the bad stuff happened, but he is very neutral and asked me all the time if I was okay. He always said if I said no he would have changed his tune. We are so, so far from perfect still. We just had a discussion about the type of school my son should go next, a thing in the country, but I am glad it is now a discussion and not an argument.

Also, Baby is doing amazing. Update 3, Hey guys, I like that I can express myself freely here. I know some think our story is weird, others wholesome, others the best. But for us is a sort of dream at the moment. We got a new house. It was picked by the three of us, H.B., son, me, and it is lovely and beautiful and all we want for our kids. I always said I wanted to have just two kids so after this one is born we will be closed for business. My husband will get a vasectomy so I don't need to deal with hormones or birth control.

I would also like to comment the new house is huge and it has a guest room so my son's brother can stay whenever he wants. They have done so before. Also, my kid turned 10. We are at a weird time but we did a little family gathering with all six grandparents and all four his parents. He was very happy and enjoyed it with the friends he invited to it. We all coordinated presents so we didn't outstitch each other or gave him repeated gifts. I was so happy we could finally do something like this. As per my baby, she is a girl.

I told my son and thought it might create issues but he is so excited we have been having family therapy too just in case but the therapist says the kid is doing amazing and to please don't overthink things. We had a gender reveal party, which I find kind of silly but my son wanted to cause they are very internet famous. It was just family and a couple of friends, when they realized it was a girl they all paused for a second and my son was so excited then they got all excited. I am very, very happy with my family.

His trips with his dad and dads went great, so we took him on a mommy's trip. We took a lot of precautions, of course, but we had a blast, as much of a blast as you can have with a pregnant woman in Europe, if you know you know. He deserves it because he is the best kid ever. As for my parents, they are really happy to do things for the kid and love being around him. He or anybody other than me, don't know about the will or anything, he just loves them because he is nice. My parents are considering staying permanently because they want to be close so it might be another thing coming. My in-laws are helping them find a permanent rental or so and we are just

all so excited. As per mom, she has been more understanding and nice. I understand she was bitter, but she truly wants the best for our son and that is our biggest common ground. And yes, she has taken up Spanish via an app, she said she wanted the kids to see us equally, which I've always found ridiculous since she is a nurse and clearly very qualified. We have had many convoes about my parents' involvement, but she is more willing to give space lately. She and her family, which have always been delightful, are now all learning the language as a way to keep it all connected. We have movie night at least twice a week, sometimes as more people than other times. I just want to let people know that it can be better and people are complicated and people can love unconditional.

Next story, B.F. always left me with our daughter to go on bike trips, then stole our vacation money to spend at a strip club and got another woman pregnant while we were trying to work things out. My boyfriend and I have a three-year-old daughter together. He used to go away very occasionally by himself before we had her and this has increased quite a lot since she was born. Not for long periods, just a night or two. He also visits his daughter from a previous relationship, which is fine, but I am mentioning as relevant later. He is notoriously bad for informing me when he is going away. He always claims he told me and I forgot.

There have been times where he has arranged to see his daughter on weekends when plans have already been made. These were all pre-COVID. Once I had arranged for my mum to babysit for our anniversary and for us to go out. Another time I was meant to be attending a baby shower and needed him to watch our daughter. Another time I had arranged to go to the theater with a friend. His daughter lives quite far away so he wouldn't have made it back in time to watch our daughter. He was fully aware of all these plans and claim he forgot when arranging to see his daughter.

I didn't ask him to cancel as it is not fair on her so I had to make other arrangements in each case. Obviously he has been going away less because of restrictions. As soon as they eased he has been going away. I have never had a night away for our daughter. I had made a couple of plans but each time a lockdown happened so obviously they got cancelled. He says he encourages me to go away and he is not stopping me. I have tried to explain that his going away so much does stop me as someone needs to look after our child. Not comfortable for either of my parents to watch her yet just in case of any risk.

In the summer once restrictions are lifted I have arranged to see my friend for a couple of days. I told him about it and he said I couldn't do it on that date because he was going on a cycle holiday. I told him he hasn't told me anything about this and yet again he claims he did and I forgot. He asked me to cancel it saying I could go to my friends anytime. I could rearrange it but feel I shouldn't have too. He could also rearrange camping. So I have been refusing he is now an assault. Am I the asshole for not rearranging my plans?

I have got a family calendar whence the issues of him double booking seeing his daughter arose. problem is he will only write in it if I nag him to do so. Or he will say he will do it later and not to treat him like a child. Comment where op has replied, commenter, What's he like as a partner otherwise? What's he like as a dad to your three-year-old? Boop, he loves our daughter to pieces. But is very much for the fun stuff.

He has started helping a bit more. For the last year also he has been helping with part-time and bedtime. before that it was just me doing those things. She wakes up regularly in the night. It is always me tending to her. He says it's not his fault he is heavier sleeper. I have had to wake him before when she has been up from 1 a.m. and not settling back down and I have work in the morning so I can get a couple of hours sleep before work.

Update 1. Not sure if anyone really wanted an update but the situation came to a head so I just wanted to vent. Thank you for everyone who commented. So I had a word with him about the family calendar and people's suggestions about if it's not on the calendar it doesn't exist. Making sure my time away was on there. He seemed to go along with it and said he would reschedule his cycle trip, great I thought. Until it came to the morning of the trip. My BF often gets up super early and I roll over and go back to sleep so thought nothing of it

when he was up early. Heard the door go but just presumed he was taking out the bins or something. When I woke up, couldn't find him and the car had gone. Tried to phone him, no answer. Some of his stuff had gone. Asked my neighbor to check his garage for my BFS bike, where he keeps it. It had gone. Confused and quietly seething at this point, try his phone a couple more times.

Nothing. Phone my friend at this point saying I can find him and will probably miss my train. About midday I get a phone call. He had gone on his trip. Tells me to check the calendar. He has type-exed out my writing and written in his trip. I say a few choice words to him. He basically says it's my fault as I should have got up earlier.

So I told him that he want and he is now free to go on as many cycle trips as he wants now. Friend suggested taking the kids to the seaside. Her son is a similar age. We spent the next day at the beach and had a nice time. told B.F. not to come back. He says I'm overreacting, but I am done. Edit, he came back on Sunday. Unfortunately can't change locks due to renting. Came back like nothing had really happened. I calmly asked him to leave as our daughter was about. He said he wasn't going anywhere and he will watch her next week so I could go away. I said I couldn't believe he has completely missed the point of what

he had done. Called my brother and asked him to pick us up. We have been staying there until I can sort out the practical parts of the split. X is called nonstop and turned up at my brother's house where brother turned him away. He has finally apologized. I said I am still done, I just don't have the energy or the will anymore. Mini update one, I'm back at the flat now with my daughter. X is staying with a friend who has a spare room. X is helping out with the rent a bit, until I can find somewhere more affordable. Last two weeks he has had on a Saturday and he has turned up. He is giving me child support at the moment which we are just doing directly between us.

He seems to think he is just giving me space despite the fact that I have told him I am done. My priority for the moment is making sure my daughter is as settled as possible. It has been very difficult for her not having him about as much as she used to. Mini Update 2, still at the flat until the lease is up, X is still at a friend's as far as I know. He has started seeing someone else and visits with our daughter have become a little bit sporadic. But it's only been a month and he only sees her once a week anyway so, so I will give it a little bit longer and if it keeps messing around I think I may have to go to court I don't want to

stop her seeing her dad but also don't want him constantly letting her down. Update 2. I, 33F, broke up with my boyfriend, 35M, of eight years about nine months ago. We have a four-year-old daughter together. He was always leaving on bike rides and overriding any plans I might have had. Last straw was him leaving early in the morning to go on a cycle holiday when I had explicitly said I was going away for the weekend and he needed to care for our daughter. So I left him. We co-parented together well for a while, then he started seeing someone and became disinterested in our daughter.

Fast forward to three months ago he started to show interest again and seeing our daughter he was single again. I tried to keep it purely about her, but I gave in. I let myself be sucked in with his crappy promises. I agreed to start dating him again. I will be honest my heart had broken the last six months for my daughter and if I had a chance to make it work I felt I owed it to her. We said we would go on holiday together so we started putting some money in a jar kept in my flat. This weekend he said he would take it to book a holiday and put the rest in himself, was about 300 pounds. Didn't see him after he left the flat, still living separately, so I didn't think anything of it. One of his friends' girlfriends text me this morning and told me they had all

been on a stag due. Her boyfriend had mentioned and my ex was dropping a lot of money in there. I confronted him and he admitted using the holiday money. I just don't know what to do. We are done. Forever done. But I just don't know how I will move past this. where Op has replied, Galician Warrior, I can't believe you actually got back with him. You've been burned time and time again. He only took interest in your daughter after her broke up with the person he was seeing. He is not a good father to her. That's all you need to know. Oop, I feel like an idiot. He kept saying how irrational it was to leave him in the first place so minor. How my stubbornness was affecting our daughter. Finally came to the realization that I was setting

up my daughter for a poor image of how you should be treated. I want better for her. Currently just in contact with his mum and if he wants to see her it will be via her, at least for the time being. Update 3 I, 33F, was with my ex, 35M, for about eight years. We share a daughter together. For some background the last year has been a difficult one. We broke up after he snuck out on a cycling holiday when I was due to go away with a friend. Stupidly started dating him again I had insisted that we go slowly. We were putting away some cash to go on holiday as a family which he ended up taking out of my flat and blowing in a strip club. So we fully ended about two months ago.

Now it turns out he's going to be a father again. From what I can gather the woman is past the 12-week mark. When I was dropping off my daughter for the weekend he mentioned the pregnancy and whether he could have the baby stuff I had from when our daughter was little, that we were saving for a potential second. I told him he's welcome to take anything that he bought, which is the grand total of a novelty baby grow and a hat. Obviously now I don't need the stuff and I don't know if I'm being petty,

but I told him no, absolutely not. He hasn't even seemed to acknowledge the fact that he got her pregnant when we were trying to get back together, but that's a battle I just can't get the energy to fight. My ex-mother-in-law has remained pretty neutral and I have a pretty good relationship with her, but she's been putting a bit of pressure on me to give him the stuff. Update 4. Not sure if anyone will read this, but I wanted to place my thoughts and update anyone who was interested.

I found a quite therapeutic posting on Reddit. My ex had a baby boy. Finally got the son he wanted. I ended up giving him the very few items that he bought for our daughter which mainly consisted of novelty hats and novelty baby grows. Unfortunately, he has little to do with our daughter. He has let her down many times since the new baby came. I won't close the door as I want to be able to hold my head high and tell her I never stopped him seeing her even though a big part of me wants to tell him to do one. It breaks my heart that she gets so excited and he lets her down. I have toyed with going to court to make him fight for visitation. I just don't think he cares enough.

On a positive note my daughter is very happy and my brother and his wife are very involved so she can see what a healthy relationship looks like. I'm uninterested in meeting anyone at the moment, but maybe one. one day I'll dip my foot back in. I also got a promotion at work so in a much happier place now.