Reddit Stories - DESPERATE Plea_ TURNING to Elders for EDUCATION Funds_

Episode Date: September 28, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #desperate #plea #turningtoelders #educationfunds #helpneeded  Summary: In a desperate plea for education funds, a Reddit user seeks advice on turning to elders for financial support. The user grapples with the decision and seeks guidance on navigating this sensitive situation.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, education, financialaid, family, elders, support, advice, community, funding, studentlife, financialhelp, relationships, decisionmaking, guidance, sensitiveissue, seekingassistanceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Guardians were unable to cover the expenses of higher education, so I appealed to my elderly relatives to finance it. Currently, they have discontinued their support and are upset because I have tarnished their standing. I, 17M, am supposed to start college in a couple of months and recently, my parents told me that they did not have any money set aside for me so I would have to make my own way. I already knew that and so, I had taken certain measures to prevent my

from getting into any sort of financial trouble before I was supposed to start college. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I had a job, it did not pay much, but at least I had some money for myself and I could at least just travel to the location of my college if not anything else. And when I quit my job because of them, I did something else and now I'm getting a lot of flack for it. I have already been accepted into the school of my choice, and I have every intention of attending. But before I get into why I had to fall out with my parents, I need to tell you guys certain things about them, so everything makes sense. My parents did not grow up poor and for a really long time, we were pretty well off. All of my grandparents were

actually family friends first and that's how my parents met each other. We had known each other since they were kids and it was always the plan for them to get married when they grew up. When they got married, they also started their own cafe business together. Their parents invested in it and for a really long time, things were great for them. And then I was born, they were still doing pretty great and I grew up in a loving home and I never had to worry about money. The cafe that my parents run did moderately well. It's pretty popular among people who live in our neighborhood and they made a nice living from it, enough to call ourselves comfortable. Everything was great until the pandemic hit, and then, obviously, we had to shut down the cafe

and for months, we had to rely on our savings to get by. Even after things started opening back up again, our cafe was not able to take off like it was supposed to. For the past couple of years, the business has been in trouble, and my parents have been struggling to keep up with the bills and everything. My dad has even had to get another job in a small-scale marketing firm and manage the cafe part-time, while my mother tries to revive the business. It has been a sorry state of affairs for the past few years

and I think I have been very affected by it because I was never used to any of this. I never had to think about money before, but all of a sudden, we had been thrust into a life where we had to think twice before any sort of purchase and it was very difficult for me to adapt to it. I might sound spoiled, but I think anybody who has been through this kind of situation

would agree with me. But I mean that I had to do something about my life, because it had become very evident that I could not rely on my parents anymore. I'm not saying this because I want to mock them, I'm just saying this because I really could not rely on them since I would feel bad if I had to. I was acutely aware of how hard they were trying to keep our family afloat, and I knew that they were doing their best, I could not ask them for money because I knew that they were already struggling.

And I did not want to make them feel even smaller by asking them for financial help, only to be told that they could not afford to do that for me. So I decided that I was going to get a part-time job, but I was going to keep that information a secret from them because I knew that they were too proud to admit that they were poor now. Everybody knew about the situation with our family and the business, but my parents pretended like nobody knew, and they tried to keep up appearances,

making sure that they maintained the same kind of lifestyle that we had been used to. They did not want anybody to be able to guess that we were not doing financially well anymore and did their best to cover everything up. So whenever we would attend family parties, they would make it a point to dress up to the night and would even rent a car, since we had to sell the one we had. I felt kind of sorry for them, and I was quite embarrassed by it because I knew that everybody else knew the truth, yet they were still pretending to have the same lifestyle. Nobody ever said anything to them or confronted them about it because I guess everybody

else felt sorry for us as well. My grandparents were the most affected by this because these were their kids who were suffering and I knew that they had offered to help them out financially quite a lot of times, but my parents were proud to accept any sort of money from them. Whenever I would visit my grandparents, be it my mom's parents or my dad's parents, they would always have the same complaints against my parents and would keep telling me to try and convince them to take their help. But I didn't try to speak about that to my parents because I did not think it was my place to say anything. I had tried it once, in the initial stages of our cafe decline, and I had told my parents that I thought they should accept help from their parents and they had

been very upset with me that day. I did not want to repeat that episode because I knew that they would find it very offensive if I tried to talk to them about the family's finances because they thought that it was me trying to question their authority and acumen. They believed that it was respectful and it was not my place to comment on any of that. So I stayed out of it. So I stayed out of the of it and just tried to get by on my own. Two years ago, I got my first part-time job at the bowling alley, and it was pretty easy to keep it a secret from my parents because the place where I worked was a little distance away from where we lived, so we did not really have anybody coming in who would know me. I would tell my parents every day that I was staying back

after school for football practice which was not technically untrue because I did stay back for that purpose but then, I would head to the bowling alley and work there. I did not earn a lot of money, but at least it was something and it gave me a sense of accomplishment. However, they had to let me go after a few months, as they had found a full-time employee, and it made more sense to hire him instead. It was nothing personal and my manager there even wrote me a letter of recommendation for my next job as a cashier at the nearby bookstore. That was a slightly riskier job because that place was much closer to my house and neighborhood than the others, and I was constantly afraid that somebody I knew would walk in, and then my cover would be found,

my parents would get to know, and I would have to hear it from them. However, I did not have the option of quitting because I knew that I had to earn at least some money, even if it was not enough to cover my college tuition. I knew that my parents would not be able to pay it all off and I would either have to take out a student or I would have to work my way through college, so it was better for me to start early and start earning before I headed to college. It went on for a couple of months and a few of my friends knew about it, but I made sure that they told their parents to keep it a secret from my parents and they were nice enough to oblige. I almost worked there for a year before a couple of

months ago, my parents finally found out. It was a neighbor of mine, and she was a particularly vicious and chatty one. I should have known that I was done for as soon as she walked into the bookstore. Honestly, I never would have expected the lady to even be able to read a magazine, let alone a book, but I guess she was getting a gift for somebody. She had never come to the bookstore before and as soon as I saw her, I knew that I was screwed. She did not even say anything to me when she saw me working there and had minimal interaction. We did not say anything to each other, but she kept smiling at me very smugly. I knew that she would go back and immediately tell my parents about it and that's what happened. When I got back home that day, my parents were absolutely

furious at me, and I think they must have yelled at me for a whole hour. They believed that my going out of my way to get a part-time job and keep it a secret from them just showed my lack of faith in my own parents and said that they were very unhappy with me about my actions. They reminded me that I belonged to a business family and no son of theirs was going to work as long as they were around to provide for me, it was disgraceful, and they were pretty disappointed. pointed in me. They told me that I had embarrassed them and were mostly worried about what everybody would be saying about this when they got to know that I had been working. They believed that the fact that I had been working part-time would just let everybody else know that my parents were not

able to fully provide for me and that would allow people to guess that the cafe business had not been doing well, something that they had been trying to conceal from everybody for so long and so hard. I don't understand why they were trying to pretend. Everyone already knew the truth, but I didn't say that to them then because they were already pretty mad and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire. So I just stayed quiet and let them get it all out, but then, after they were done yelling at me, they said that I had to quit the job that I had because it was just too shameful. I resisted a little at that point because the job was very important for me to have some sense of stability and remind myself that not everything was lost, just because my parents were

struggling with the money, didn't mean that I could not make my own. I wanted to get a head start before I started college, and I tried to explain that to them, but they just kept repeating themselves over again, reminding me that I had already brought a lot of shame to the family by getting a job before I had even finished my education. They do not want me to embarrass them even more by continuing to work. So I told them that I was only doing this because I did not want to be a burden on them in the future since I had every intention of going to college, and I knew that they were struggling with money. So they told me that I did not have to worry about that and they would take care of everything for me. They promised me and told me that by the time I would

start applying, they would make sure they had something set aside for me. I could not fully trust them but judging by the way that they were acting, I found it really hard to say no because it felt like they were really going to lose their minds if I said that I was going to continue working. So I did what they asked of me and I quit my job. It was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever made so far, but I had to do it because I did not want to make my parents even more upset than they already were. But I still could not bring myself to fully trust them because I knew that they were struggling and I had no idea how they were going to get the sort of money that they had promised me. I knew that sending kids to college was expensive and the only

option that I would be left with would be to take out a student to cover the cost of my education afterward. I went to public school, so they did not have to worry about my education so far, but I wanted to compromise my college degree and I knew that if I took a student loan, I would spend the rest of my life paying it back. And it was also very unlikely that I would be able to get any sort of high-paying job without a college degree in this economy, so I decided to approach my grandparents for help. Again, I had to do it without my parents' knowing because I knew that if they got to know that I was asking somebody for help, they would literally lose their minds and probably even kick me out. I knew that they were too proud to ask for help,

but I was not, I love my grandparents and that they would be glad to help us. Besides, I was not asking them for money for my parents, I was asking them to help me personally. So my parents could choose not to take money from their parents, but I did not have to abide by the same rules. At least that's what I told myself when I made that decision. Almost one month after I had quit my job, I decided to approach my grandparents and ask them for help. I set up a meeting with them at my maternal grandparents' house and told them about everything that happened the previous month. I told them I was really worried about the money and I couldn't even go back to work because if my parents found out that I had been working, they would literally flip out, and I did not want to risk getting them all upset again. But I also did not want to risk not being able to go to college because my parents were not able to live up to their promise.

And I was pretty sure they wouldn't be able to set aside money for me since they were still going about things the same way and have not taken any extra measures or changed anything about their lifestyle. My grandparents were all happy to help me, they told me that they wished that even my parents would come to them because they were sure that with a little money, they would be able to revive the business. But my parents were too proud, forgetting the fact that they had even been able to start this business because of the first investment that my parents had made. I don't understand why they were behaving this way. As far as I knew, my grandparents had never made a big deal of it and had always referred to their kids as self-made, even though it was not really true in the strictest sense of the word. Anyway, I told my grandparents about it and they told me that when the time came, they would definitely cover my college tuition. and I was relieved. So for the next couple of months, up until a week ago, I wasn't exactly worried about anything and I went about my life without any anxiety about college or how I would

be able to pay for it. My parents also did not bring it up again so we spent the last couple of months, not even talking about it because I did not want to bring up the fact that I already had asked my grandparents for money and they had agreed to help me because I knew that they would not like it and they did not bring up anything about college with me because I was. Pretty sure that they would not be able to help me. Both of us avoided speaking to each other about it. However, last week, I got accepted into the college of my choice, we finally had to discuss it, and everything was out in the open. We could not hide these things from each other. A couple of hours after I received the email that said that I had been accepted, my parents started

looking really uncomfortable, and eventually, after dinner, they told me that they had been thinking about this, and they believed that it would be safer for me to get a student loan or try to work through college because at least then, I would be of age and it would be away from home so nobody would get to know about it. They confessed to me that they had been trying really hard for the past few months, but they had not been able to save up enough money and were still struggling financially. So it would not be possible for them to pay for me to go to college and I had to look out for myself. They said that they were really sorry about it and they did not want to let me down, but they did not have any other option because at the time when I was

working. They were really embarrassed by it and they did not want it to continue so they had to promise me that they would cover my tuition, even if they were not sure if they would be able to live their promise or not. But I had already seen this coming, and I was not even surprised when they told me that they would not be able to cover my tuition. I just smiled at them and I told them that I got it covered and they did not have to worry about it. That took them by surprise and I guess I should have been a little more careful about how I had reacted to avoid the drama that followed. They asked me why I was not more worried and then, I had to tell them the truth. When they found out that I had asked for money for my grandparents and now, I would be depending

on them, they reacted just as I had expected them to. They started screaming at me almost immediately and told me that I had completely ruined their reputation and that I needed to apologize to my grandparents and tell them that I would not be requiring any money from them, that there had been some confusion regarding my college fund. And I did not need to depend on them because my parents would be able to provide for me. I had no idea why they even expected that I would do that, just a few minutes after they had told me that they would not be able to cover my tuition. So I told them that they had different values and opinions compared to me, but I had no

shame in taking money from my family, especially when they were offering to help me out. I feel bad accepting the fact that we were now not as financially stable as we used to be and I needed external help to get by. Also, I was going to return the money to my grandparents eventually, once I had started earning, and so, I did not find anything morally wrong about what I was doing. They refused to accept that and they told me that I had to do as they said, or they would cut me off forever and never speak to me again if I took money for my grandparents. They think that I was very sneaky and betrayed their trust and ruined their

reputation, none of which seem fair accusations to me. They are putting me in a very difficult spot right now and even though it has been a couple of days since our fight, I have not yet been able to come to a conclusion about what I should do. My parents have been refusing to talk to me and any time I enter a room or try to speak to them, they just start ignoring me and pretend like I'm not even there. It's really hurtful and I don't think it's worth it. Ida for going behind my parents' backs and asking my grandparents for money so that I can pay for college. Update 1, hi, thank you so much for the words of advice and the overwhelming support that you guys have shown me. I really did not see this coming.

But most people in the comments believe that my parents are being unreasonable and I think that you guys are right. Some of you are calling me a doormat for even wanting to stay with my parents after everything that they have put me through or even quitting my job. I don't understand how that works because I'm literally a minor and I love my parents, it's not something that I will deny. Maybe in your world, people can just get up and leave when they hit a snag but for so many years, my parents have treated me like a king and have provided for me. I wasn't going to just abandon them and start fighting with them when they were in a tough position. I will agree that what they did was not right, and it was completely unreasonable of them,

but that being said, I couldn't leave my parents. I don't think it's right to give me so much hate just because I, as a 17-year-old, wanted to be with my parents and try to work out the issues that we are having. Anyway, that being said, I did not see any other option than to just tell them that I was not going to back down and I was definitely going to take the money for my grandparents and go to college because all the other options were not things that I could work around. I was not willing to take a loan and I was not willing to work through college. If my grandparents were willing to help me, I did not see any valid reason to refuse them.

I respected them and their opinions, but I had my own set of beliefs and I was not going to compromise to protect their so-called pride and reputation. I had to give them a speech while they were in the living room, pretending to not hear and they did not react to anything that I said. But at least I got it off my chest and I said to them whatever it was that I had to say. Now, the ball is in their court, and they can decide whether they want to accept my decision or if they want to continue behaving the way that they have been so far. Either way, I am doing what I had decided I was going to do and they cannot change my mind. Update 2 It has been two weeks since I announced to my parents that I was not going to change my decision.

Certain things have happened in the past two weeks and right now, I'm living with my grandparents. My mom's parents have taken me in for now and I'll get to how that happened. So maybe three or four days after I had announced to my parents that I was not going to change my mind. My mother finally came around and she told me that if I thought that this was the right thing to do then she was not going to hold it against me. She came into my room really late at night and kind of broke down. We ended up having a heart-to-heart conversation and she told me that she had been really struggling with the cafe and it was my dad who was actually refusing to take money from everybody,

and that was because he was just unable to bring himself to accept the fact that he needed help. For so long, they had been independent and never had to rely on anybody for anything. But now, things were different, and he was just having a hard time dealing with it. He was too proud to admit that he was not as financially well off as he used to be a couple of years ago. She had tried to convince him several times to do something about this. They could both get jobs, but he refused to shut down the cafe, even for a while. She had told him that once they got back on track financially, they would reopen it, but he was not cool with it. He was not willing to take money from his family because he did not want any favors from anyone.

I tried to console her since I could understand where she was coming from. Anyway, we ended up hugging, and she told me that she was going to support me. The next day, I woke up to the sound of my parents fighting like cats and dogs downstairs, and when I went downstairs to check what was going on, I noticed that my dad was screaming at my mom and she was yelling right back. He was waving a massive wad of cash in her face and accusing her of betraying him and lying to him. She was trying to defend herself, saying that she was going to tell him about it, but she was just looking for the right opportunity to do so.

After a while, I figured out that apparently, my mother had sold all her jewelry and she was planning to contribute to my college fund with that money. My dad was pissed because now, she had nothing left and he was worried that this was going to reflect badly on them in the future when she would attend parties and events and wouldn't have any jewelry to wear. She told him that he was being superficial and he accused her of being too foolish. I thought that my dad was being crazy and after he had calmed down, I decided to talk to him once and for all. But before I could enter his room, I heard him crying from outside the door, and it just broke my heart because even after so many things had happened, I had never heard my father cry.

But when I started outside his room, I could hear him absolutely sobbing like a wreck, and my mother was outside in the living room, doing the same. I was just so devastated because of what was going on in the family that I did not have to think twice before my grandparents. After that, my grandparents arrived and there was an intervention because we, as a family, really needed to talk. I won't get another detail, but for now, my parents are living with my dad's parents, and I am living with my mom's parents. We are trying to get together every weekend as a family because I don't think it's wise for any of us to be on our own right now, given the mental state that both of my parents are in. And I think it is a really good improvement for my family. I hope things get back to normal, or at least close to normal, soon enough.

Update 3, Hey Everybody, it has been a week since I started college and I'm so relieved that this is finally happening. My grandparents are the ones covering my tuition, just like we had planned, and my parents are finally okay with it. My parents are back to living on their own, they are trying couples counseling and from what I hear, things are going well for them. They have finally decided to get help from their parents and allow them to reinvest in the cafe so they can reinvent their business model and try to make it work. I hope that works for them, we are able to see the success that we had before, if not more, I really hope to inherit that and I want to run it because it has become a piece of my heart. I kind of understand now why my father did not want to shut it even when we were suffering financially. Things are finally looking up for me and I really want to make the most of my college life. I know it has been tough for me so far, but I want to enjoy my life to the fullest.

Life is short and we never know what's going to happen next, so right now, I just want to live in the moment. I'm really done with worrying about the future constantly. Things will work out, I know that, and I don't want to. want to constantly stress myself out because I know that will never lead to anything good. My parents have already faced it and I don't want to experience life the same way.