Reddit Stories - DISCOVERED my PARTNER seated on her COLLEAGUE'S knees sans her promise ring on

Episode Date: July 4, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #drama #cheating #trust #confrontationSummary: I discovered my partner seated on her colleague's knees without her promise ring on.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, drama, cheating, trust, confrontation, partner, colleague, promise ring, infidelity, betrayal, honesty, communication, boundaries, trust issues, confrontation skillsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my partner seated on her colleague's niece sans her promise ring on social media, so I withdrew our $60,000 nuptial savings and vanished during the nighttime. I'm 32 years old. My fiancé, let's call her Sarah, is 30. We were together for five years, engaged for the last 10 months. We lived together in an apartment we leased jointly. Wedding planning was in full swing.

We had set a date for about eight months from now. Most of the major vendors were booked, deposits paid. The core of this situation revolves around a series of actions and a specific incident that led to me making some drastic decisions. I am writing this to lay out the sequence of events as they occurred. We had a joint savings account that was designated as our wedding fund. Over the past year and a half, we had accumulated $75,000 in it. Contributions came from both our salaries, though a larger percentage was from my income as I earned significantly more. I was the primary account holder on this savings account, a detail that became relevant later.

The first point of contention, which I only now see as a significant indicator, was about the engagement ring. It was a ring she picked out, something she said she loved. After the proposal, she wore it consistently for the first month. Then, I noticed she wasn't wearing it when she went to her office job. Her role is client-facing. When I asked about it, she stated that wearing an expensive ring felt unprofessional in her specific work environment. She mentioned it might make clients or colleagues perceive her differently, or that it could attract unwanted attention to her hand when she was trying to make presentations

or engage in business discussions. I didn't fully understand her reasoning, as many professionals were engagement or wedding rings, but I initially accepted her explanation. A few weeks later, the explanation shifted slightly. She then said that her relationship status was her private business and she didn't feel she owed her colleagues or clients that information threw a visible symbol like a ring. She said her work performance should be the only thing they focus on. This explanation caused a bit more friction. I suggested that being engaged was generally seen as a positive life event and not something to be actively concealed in a professional setting, unless there were specific

security concerns, which there were not at her firm. She was quite firm, stating it was her choice and her comfort that mattered in her workplace. This pattern continued. She would put the ring on if we were going out together on weekends or for social events outside of her work, but never to her office. Sometimes she would forget to put it on even on weekends, and I would have to remind her, which she would brush off as an oversight. I noticed she also became more guarded with her phone.

She always had a passcode, which is normal, but she started angling it away from me more pointedly if a notification came in while we were together. She also began mentioning a particular male co-worker more frequently. Let's call him Chad. The mentions were used. usually about work projects they were on together, or funny things he supposedly said during team meetings. There was nothing overtly suspicious in the content of these mentions at

first, but the frequency increased. She also started staying late for work events or team dinners more often than before. When I would ask for details, she would provide general descriptions, just a team thing, or networking with a client. These explanations were often brief. On a couple of occasions, I had suggested picking her up, but she declined, saying she would get a ride with a colleague or take a cab. The wedding planning itself was also becoming a point of some stress, though I attributed it to the usual pressures of organizing such an event. Sarah was very particular about certain aspects of the wedding, the venue, the photographer, her dress, all of which were among the most expensive options. I had expressed concerns about

the escalating budget, suggesting we could find more. moderate alternatives for certain things. She argued that the wedding was a once-in-a-lifetime event and she wanted it to be perfect. Given the $60,000 we had saved, she felt we could afford her choices. I went along with most of her preferences, wanting her to be happy and to avoid constant arguments over planning details. The deposits for several of these high-end vendors were paid from the wedding fund, around $15,000. The situation came to a head three-day ago. It was a Tuesday evening. Sarah was supposedly at a late work meeting that she said would involve dinner with a potential new client and some of her team members, including

Chad. She had left for work that morning, again, not wearing her engagement ring. Around 9.30 p.m., I was scrolling through Instagram. A mutual acquaintance, someone who knows both me and Sarah but is more of a professional contact of hers, had posted an Instagram story. This acquaintance was also at the event Sarah was attending. The first few clips of the story were innocuous, group shots of people at a restaurant, some food pictures. Then, there was a short video clip, maybe 15 seconds long. In the video, the camera panned across a booth.

Sarah was in the shot, sitting directly on Chad's lap. They were not just casually sitting. Her arm was draped over his shoulder, her head was tilted very close to his, and they were both laughing. He had one hand on her waist, quite high up, almost on her side. She was leaning back against him, and at one point in the short clip, she playfully touched his face with her free hand. The setting did not look like a formal client dinner. It looked like a bar, it was dimly lit, and music was audible. There were other colleagues around, some of whom I recognized from her previous work social media posts, and they all

seemed to be in high spirits. The caption on the story from the person who posted it was something like team letting loose. Immediately after that clip, the same acquaintance posted another photo, a still image this time. It was a selfie Chad had taken, and Sarah was in it, cheek to cheek with him, both of them making playful faces. The original poster had added a text overlay to this photo saying, get a room you too. Smile so happy for our work hubby and wifie at Chad's Instagram handle at Sarah's Instagram handle. The acquaintance had tagged both Chad and Sarah. My fiancé was being called a work wifie with this Chad, while sitting on his lap, without her engagement ring, and it was all being broadcast on social media. I watched the video

clip several times. There was no mistaking it was Sarah. There was no mistake. It was Sarah. There was no staking the familiarity and intimacy of their posture and interaction. Her explanation about professionalism and keeping her relationship status private at work now made sense. I felt a surge of anger that was quite intense. I didn't call her. I didn't text her. I didn't wait for her to come home. My first action, within minutes of seeing that Instagram story, was to access our joint wedding fund account online. As I mentioned, I was the primary account holder. I transferred the entire balance of $60,000 to my personal current account, which she did not have access to. The transfer went through immediately. I then took screenshots of the Instagram story, the video, the photo,

and the caption with the work hubby and wifie comment in case they were deleted. My next step was to pack. I took three large suitcases. I packed all of my clothes, my personal documents, my laptop, and work essentials, and items of significant personal or financial value that belonged to me. This included some artwork I owned before we met in my collection of watches. I did not take anything that was unequivocally hers or that was a joint purchase of household utility, like furniture or kitchen appliances. Though much of the expensive furniture had been bought with my money, I decided to leave it for now. The process of packing was hard. I focused on being efficient. It took me about two hours. Our apartment lease was in both our names. I found my copy of the lease agreement and put it on the

kitchen counter. I wrote a very brief note. The note said, Sarah, I saw the Instagram story. I have withdrawn the $60,000 from the wedding fund. All of it. I have moved out. Do not contact me. The keys are on the counter. I placed my set of apartment keys next to the note. I then called a 24-hour moving service, one that specialized in small, immediate moves. I explained I needed to move several suitcases and a few boxes from my apartment to a secure storage unit immediately, and then I would need transport to a hotel. They arrived within the hour. I directed them to my packed items. As they were loading my belongings into their van, I did one final sweep of the apartment to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything critical. I left the apartment with the movers at around

1.30 a.m. I had them take my belongings to a storage facility I had quickly found online. I paid for three months of storage up front. From there, I had them drop me at a hotel in a different part of the city. I checked in using my own credit card. Sarah usually returned from these late work events between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m., if not later. Given the time, she was likely still out or on her way back when I left. I did not want a confrontation. I wanted my actions to be clear and unambiguous before any conversation could occur.

Once in the hotel room, I turned my phone to silent. I knew she would eventually see the note in the empty space where my belongings had been, and that her reaction would likely be explosive. I was not interested in hearing it at that moment. This all happened, as I said, three days ago. So, the time skip is minimal. I am currently still in the hotel. The resolution of this initial phase is that I have physically removed myself from the situation

and secured the funds that were intended for a wedding that I now see as a complete sham. I have not spoken to Sarah. My phone has indeed been overwhelmed with missed calls and text messages from her, starting from around 2.30 a.m. the night I left, when she presumably got home and saw my note. There have also been calls and messages from her mother and her sister. I have not listened to any voicemails or read any of the messages in detail, just glanced at the sender notifications. The current situation is that I have effectively ended my engagement and my cohabitation with Sarah without any direct verbal communication with her after discovering the Instagram story.

I have taken what I consider to be decisive action to protect my financial and emotional state. My dilemma is not really about whether I did the right thing for myself. I feel strangely calm and resolute about the actions I took regarding moving out and securing the funds. My reason for posting is more to document this, to put it into words. Perhaps it is a way of processing the sheer speed at which a five-year relationship and an impending marriage can seemingly disintegrate due to such a stark betrayal of trust. Her behavior with the ring, the excuses, the late nights, and then the visual confirmation of her conduct with Chad, all point to a consistent pattern of disrespect and deceit. The public nature of the Instagram story, and the fact that her colleagues seem to be aware of or even encourage this work hubby-slash-wifey dynamic, is particularly daring and hurtful. I am not asking if I am the asshole, because I don't believe I am in this specific sequence of actions.

My actions were a direct response to hers. I suppose I am putting this out here to see if others have encountered such blatant disregard from a partner, especially when so close to a major commitment like marriage. and perhaps to hear about how such situations unfolded for others after the initial separation. What kind of reactions or further issues did you face from the ex-partner or their circles? I expect this is not the end of the matter with Sarah, given the wedding plans and the money. Update 1, thank you to everyone who read my original post and offered comments and messages. I read a significant number of them. Many of you asked for clarifications on certain points, and many shared similar experiences,

which, in a strange way, has been helpful to read. I am not looking for pity, but understanding the mechanics of how others navigated similar betrayals has been informative. A lot of people question the legality and morality of me withdrawing the entire $60,000 from the wedding fund. To clarify, the savings account was technically a joint account, but it was set up with me as the primary account holder and her as the secondary. This was done for convenience at the time of opening it, as I handled most of our joint finances and bill payments due to my more regular

income schedule and my preference for managing financial planning. Most of the actual money, probably around 70 to 75% of the $60,000, could be directly traced from my personal salary deposits into that account. While it was designated as our wedding fund, and she did contribute, my larger contributions and primary holder status gave me the ability to make the withdrawal unilaterally. I have bank statements to prove my contribution levels. I understand this is a gray area for some, but given her actions, which I consider a fundamental breach of the trust our engagement was built upon, I felt justified in securing those funds from being spent on a wedding that was clearly not going to happen, or worse, being accessed or depleted by her.

Several people asked for more details about the Instagram story. The co-worker who posted it as someone Sarah has mentioned as being a bit of a gossip, so it's not entirely surprising they'd post something like that. The tags were direct to Sarah's and Chad's public Instagram profiles. The work hubby slash wifi comment was not an isolated joke. Comments under the post, before I stopped looking, from other colleagues echoed similar sentiments, suggesting this was a known dynamic. The original poster has since deleted the story in the subsequent photo,

likely after Sarah realized I had seen it and things blew up. However, as I mentioned, I have screenshots and a screen recording of the video. Some asked if I knew Chad. I had met him once, very briefly, at a company holiday party over a year ago. He seemed like a typical office worker. Sarah had never indicated any particular closeness to him beyond being on the same team and occasionally working on projects together until the increased mentions recently. A few comments suggested I should have confronted her. I considered this. However, based on past arguments about much smaller issues,

I anticipated that any confrontation would devolve into gaslighting, denial, crying, and attempts to shift blame onto me or my lack of trust. I chose to buy back. past that predictable drama. My actions were my confrontation. Reading the comments and reflecting over the past week has not changed my mind about my core decisions. My resolve has, if anything, solidified. The sheer brazenness of her behavior, compounded by the ring issue and the excuses, makes it clear to me that the person I thought I was going to marry either doesn't exist or was a carefully constructed facade. I did what had to be done to extricate myself from a damaging situation. I've spent some of the past week speaking with a lawyer to understand the legal

implications regarding the lease, the withdrawn funds, and the cancelled wedding contracts. I have remained in the hotel for now. I have initiated the process of finding a new apartment for myself. I have not had any direct contact with Sarah. My phone remains on silent for her number and her family's numbers. I have blocked her on all social media platforms. Her attempts to reach me were numerous and frantic in the first few days. I received dozens of calls, voicemails, and a barrage of text messages. Her sister and mother also called and texted multiple times. From what I could gather from the message previews before I stopped looking at them altogether,

her initial texts were confused, where are you? What's going on? Then panicked, the money is gone, why would you do this? Then angry and accusatory, you can't just steal our money, you're ruining my life. I did not reply to any of them. Through my lawyer, I sent a formal notification to Sarah regarding my intention to terminate the lease on our shared apartment, and outlining a proposal for the division of any remaining shared property, though there isn't much of significant value that I left behind and would contest.

The letter also formally stated that the engagement is terminated due to her actions. I have also started contacting wedding vendors. This has been an unpleasant task. Most of the deposits are non-refundable, which amounts to a significant loss, around $15,000 in total so far from the total $75,000. This is a financial hit I am prepared to absorb as the cost of ending things. My lawyer advised that since many contracts were in both our names, she is equally liable for any cancellation fees, but I am not, at this stage,

pursuing her for half of these lost deposits. I am focused on clean disengagement. I instructed the vendors that all future communications regarding cancellations should also be C-Ced to Sarah at her email address, as she was involved in the bookings. Sarah's reaction, as observed from a distance, has been exactly what I anticipated, and it seems to confirm her unhinged and entitled perspective. After receiving the lawyer's letter, which was sent via registered mail and email, she apparently escalated her efforts to make contact, not with remorse, but with demands and threats. Her mother called my mother. I had pre-warned my parents about the situation, so my mother was prepared. Sarah's mother apparently accused me of

abandoning Sarah, stealing her wedding money, and being cruel and unstable. She demanded that my mother make me see sense and return Sarah's money and fix things. My mother calmly stated that I am an adult, that she trusts my judgment, and that this was a matter between me and Sarah, and that perhaps Sarah should reflect on her own actions. Sarah's mother reportedly became abusive and my mother ended the call. Sarah herself, according to an email she sent to my work email address, which I had not blocked yet, but have now, is claiming that the Instagram story was a drunken mistake and a misunderstanding. She wrote that Chad is just a friend and that I am overreacting massively and acting like a

psycho. She demanded I return the money immediately so she could continue planning her wedding, she actually used those words, her wedding, as if it would proceed without me. She also threatened to sue me for the money and for slander and emotional distress. Her tone was not apologetic but rather indignant and demanding. She wrote that I had no right to unilaterally decide to ruin everything over one stupid photo and video. There was no acknowledgement of the ring issue or the broader pattern of behavior. I also heard through a former mutual friend who reached out to me, more sympathetic to my side, that Sarah is telling people a completely different version of events.

In her version, I apparently became unreasonably jealous. and controlling recently, that I objected to her having male friends, and that I abruptly left and stole the wedding money to punish her for having a normal work social life. There is no mention of the lap sitting, the touchiness, or the work wifie comments in the version she is peddling. She is painting herself as the victim of an unstable partner. This friend also mentioned that Chad has been very quiet and is distancing himself from Sarah at work since the incident became known more widely within their office. Apparently, Sarah made a scene at work when she couldn't reach me, and people started asking questions. The apartment lease situation is also becoming complicated.

She is refusing to agree to terminate the lease, likely out of spite or because she cannot afford the rent on her own and doesn't want to move. My lawyer is handling this. So, the immediate outcome is that Sarah is not reflecting, she is deflecting and attacking. This confirms my decision to avoid direct contact was the correct one. The watching her life fall apart aspect from my original post's private thoughts is perhaps less about tangible collapse yet, and more about the unraveling of her plans and her entitled expectations. She expected a big wedding, funded largely by me, and a continued life where her actions

had no consequences. That expectation has certainly fallen. apart. Update 2, it has been three months since I originally posted about discovering my then-fiance Sarah's behavior and my subsequent actions. A fair amount has transpired, and the situation has continued to evolve, mostly in a predictable but still frustrating manner. Sarah's life, from what I can gather, has not improved. My decision to maintain no direct contact has been crucial. After her initial barrage of calls, texts, and the angry email, followed by her mother's intervention, her attempts to contact me directly have lessened, though not entirely ceased. I still get occasional voicemails, which I delete without listening to, and I had to block a new number she tried using.

The primary battleground became the apartment lease and the cancellation of wedding vendors. Regarding the vendors, most of them have now processed the cancellations. The total amount of lost deposits came to just under $17,000. As stated, I absorbed this from the $75,000. Sarah, upon receiving confirmation of cancellations and final bills, some of which had minor additional cancellation fees not covered by deposits, apparently sent furious emails to several vendors, accusing them of siding with me and demanding they refund her for her emotional distress.

I know this because two vendors contacted my me to complain about, her harassment, forwarding the email chains. Her logic seemed to be that since I cancelled, she was the aggrieved party and was owed something. They, of course, referred her back to the contracts she co-signed. The apartment lease situation was more difficult. She refused to sign any documentation to terminate the lease early, or to negotiate a buy-out of my portion. She She stayed in the apartment, presumably expecting me to continue paying my half of the rent indefinitely while she lived there. The lease had five months remaining when I left.

My lawyer informed her that I would pay my half for the legally required notice period, which was 60 days as per our agreement terms for early termination by one party if the other did not agree to vacate, but that I would not pay beyond that, and that she would be solely responsible for the rent thereafter or any penalties for breaking the lease. For two months, I paid my share directly to the landlord, and my lawyer sent Sarah notice that she needed to make arrangements for the full amount from the third month onwards or vacate. According to the landlord who contacted my lawyer last week, Sarah failed to pay the full rent for the third month, the first month she was fully responsible.

She apparently told the landlord it was my responsibility and that I had stolen her money. The landlord has now initiated eviction proceedings against her for non-payment of rent. This means her living situation is now precarious due to her own refusal to cooperate or take financial responsibility. I heard through the same mutual acquaintance who previously gave me information that Sarah's work situation has also become uncomfortable. Her version of events about me being controlling and jealous apparently didn't hold up well once details of the Instagram story, which some colleagues had seen and saved before it was deleted, and her work-wifey dynamic with Chad became more widely discussed. Chad, it seems, completely backed away from her once the drama erupted, and has reportedly told colleagues he dodged a bullet and that Sarah was coming on too strong. This has apparently left Sarah isolated and looking foolish at her workplace.

The acquaintance mentioned that Sarah's work performance has allegedly suffered, and she is perceived as unprofessional and a source of drama. There's no confirmation, but there was a rumor she might be looking for a new job or might be managed out. The most significant new development is that Sarah, through a lawyer she finally retained, sent a letter demanding the return of the $60,000, plus damages for breach of promise to marry, emotional distress, and reputational harm. The letter was filled with exaggerated claims and outright falsehoods about my conduct and her supposed blamelessness. My lawyer reviewed it and responded, outlining my legal position, reiterating the reasons for the engagement termination, with copies of the Instagram evidence attached, and providing a breakdown of my contributions

to the wedding fund versus hers. My lawyer also counterclaimed that if she wished to pursue the matter of funds, we would then need to fully audit all wedding-related expenses, her contributions versus mine to shared living expenses during our cohabitation. And that I would then pursue her for her share of the lost deposits and all costs associated with breaking the lease due to her foolishness. The $60,000 remains in my sole possession. After deducting the $17,000 in lost deposits, I have $43,000 left. My lawyer is confident that her claim for the full amount, especially the portion that was clearly my money, is weak, particularly given her conduct. The breach of promise to Mary claim is archaic and rarely successful where there is clear

cause, which my lawyer believes we have. He suspects her lawyer's letter is mostly posturing, an attempt to see if I will offer a settlement to make her go away. We have responded firmly that no such settlement will be forthcoming beyond a fair accounting of her actual contributions to the specific wedding fund, minus her share of any joint liabilities like vendor cancellation fees, should she wish to go down that formal route of accounting. We haven't heard back since my lawyer's response was sent two weeks ago. On a personal front, I have secured a new apartment. I moved in a month ago. It's smaller than the old place. The process of disentangling any remaining joint accounts or bills is almost complete. I've been focusing on my work and re-establishing a routine.

The initial anger has subsided into a kind of weary disgust whenever I have to deal with an issue related to her. The watching her life fall apart is occurring, but it's a slow, messy process driven by her own choices and entitled reactions. Her professional reputation seems damaged, her living situation is unstable due to the eviction, and her attempts to extort money or fix things by bullying and manipulation have failed. She appears to be alienating people around her. She made a series of choices. To not wear her ring for deceptive reasons. To engage an inappropriate behavior with a coworker, and then to react with entitlement and aggression rather than accountability when faced with the consequences.

The legal threats from Sarah might materialize into something more, where they might fade away once her lawyer advises her of the costs and low probability of success for her more outrageous claims. For me, the closure on the relationship itself is complete. The person I thought Sarah was, clearly never existed or was a well-maintained act. Thank you.