Reddit Stories - DISCOVERED my spouse being UNFAITHFUL in our bathroom so I CONFRONTED the man

Episode Date: November 17, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #infidelity #confrontation #betrayal #marriageSummary: I DISCOVERED my spouse being UNFAITHFUL in our bathroom so I CONFRONTED the man. Emotions ran high as secrets were revealed and trust shattered. Choices were made that would change the course of our lives forever.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, infidelity, confrontation, betrayal, marriage, trust, secrets, emotions, choices, discovery, confrontation, spouse, bathroom, man, marriage, lifechangingBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my spouse being unfaithful in our bathroom so I confronted the man and ended up getting detained. However, my own child gave evidence against me in the legal proceeding stating I was violent. Until years later he started cheating too and now they both want my money. Throw away because people know my main account. I'm 45M, married to my wife Sarah, 42F, for 18 years. We have a 19-year-old son Marcus, had him before marriage, who's in his second year of college. I inherited my house from my grandmother five years before I got married, so it's been in my family for decades.

On Wednesday, I decided to surprise Sarah by coming home early from a business trip. I was supposed to be gone until Friday, but my meetings wrapped up ahead of schedule. I stopped at the florist and got her favorite white roses. I pulled into our driveway around 2 p.m. and noticed a car I didn't recognize. I figured maybe it was a friend of Sarah's or some neighbor's friend parked it there. I used my key to get in through the front door, calling out honey, I'm home early. No response. I heard the shower running upstairs, I went to the kitchen, put the flowers in a vase, and was about to head upstairs to surprise her when I heard voices. Two voices. A man

his voice I definitely didn't recognize, and then Sarah laughing in a way I hadn't heard in years. I stood there for probably 30 seconds just listening, hoping I was wrong, but the voices got clearer as I got closer to our bedroom. The bathroom door was cracked open and threw the frosted glass of our shower. I don't remember making a conscious decision to open the bathroom door. Everything after that is kind of a blur. I yanked the shower door open, and there was my wife with some guy who looked maybe mid-30s. Dark hair, pretty built, completely naked obviously. The guy, I found out later his name is David, immediately put his hands up and started saying,

Whoa, man, I can explain. Sarah screamed and grabbed a towel. I told him to get the fuck out of my house. He said he was just going to get dressed and leave, no problem. But something snapped in me. Maybe it was seeing him so calm about him. it, like this was just an inconvenience. Maybe it was the fact that he was in my shower, in the house my grandmother left me.

I grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him against the bathroom wall. Hard. He tried to push me back, so I hit him. Then I hit him again. Sarah was screaming at me to stop. The guy was on the ground covering his face, blood coming from his nose. I probably would have kept going, but the sight of blood kind of shocked me back to reality. I stepped back and told him he had five minutes to get out

before I called the police myself. He grabbed his clothes and ran out of the house, still bleeding and only half-dressed. Sarah went after him. Now she's saying I'm psychotic and violent, and she's staying at her sister's place. She claims I could have killed him and that she's afraid of me. She's threatening to file for divorce and get a restraining order. My kid called me, yesterday and said his mom told him what happened. He said he can't believe I would attack an innocent person and that he's ashamed of me. When I tried to explain that the guy was sleeping with his mother, he said that didn't give me the right to assault someone. I know I probably shouldn't have hit him, but I found this guy in my shower with my wife. In my house. I feel like

any reasonable person would have reacted the same way. My brother thinks I should have just called the police, but what were they going to charge the guy with? It's not illegal to sleep with someone's wife if she can sense. Update. Well, this situation has gone from bad to completely fucked. I'm posting this from a holiday in because I can't get into my own house. David, the guy I caught with Sarah, decided to press charges. I got arrested Friday morning at my office. Two cops showed up around 10 a.m. while I was in a meeting with clients. They were professional about it, but there's nothing discreet about getting arrested at work. My boss had to explain to the clients why their meeting was being postponed.

I spent Friday night in county jail before my lawyer could get me out on bail. Assault in the third degree, which is apparently a misdemeanor but still carries up to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine if I'm convicted. The bail was $2,500. While I was in jail, Sarah went to court. and got a temporary restraining order against me. She claimed I had a history of controlling and violent behavior and that she was afraid I might hurt her. This is complete bullshit.

I have never laid a hand on Sarah in 18 years of marriage, never even raised my voice to her before this whole thing started. The restraining order means I can't go within 100 yards of her, which includes my own house since she's living there. When I got out of jail Saturday morning, I drove home to find that she changed the locks. My key doesn't work. There's a cop car parked across the street,

apparently making sure I don't violate the restraining order. I called my lawyer immediately. He said that because it's my house and I have the deed to prove it, we can fight this in court, but it will take time. The temporary restraining order is valid for two weeks, and then there's a hearing where a judge will decide whether to make it permanent. In the meantime, I'm legally barred from my own property. I'm staying at a hotel right now, living out of the suitcase I had for my business trip,

I didn't take it out of my car. I can't get any of my clothes, my mail, my personal belongings, nothing. Sarah won't return my calls or texts. When I tried calling the house, she answered and immediately hung up. The really fucked up part is that Marcus came home from college this weekend and he's staying at house with her. I texted him asking if we could meet for coffee to talk, and he responded, Mom showed me the police report. I can't believe you're my father. Don't contact me until you get help for your anger issues. What anger issues? I've never had anger issues in my life.

The only time I've ever been violent was when I found that guy in my shower. But somehow I'm the crazy one here. My lawyer says the restraining order is probably temporary since there's no actual evidence of domestic violence or threats. Sarah would have to prove a pattern of abuse to make it permanent, and she can't because it doesn't exist. But he also warned me that these things can drag on for months, especially if she files for divorce at the same time. I had to call my boss and explain why I got arrested. He was understanding, but said if this turns into a conviction or affects my ability to work with clients, will need to discuss my future with the company. I've been there for 12 years with no disciplinary issues,

and now my job is at risk because I walked in on my wife cheating. The worst part is the financial hit. Between the lawyer, bail, and hotel costs, I've already spent over $8,000. I still have to pay the mortgage on the house I can't live in, plus my credit cards and Marcus's tuition. Sarah has access to our joint accounts, so she can train them while I'm stuck paying for everything separately. I feel like I'm being punished for being the victim here. She cheats on me in my own house, and somehow I end up arrested and homeless while she gets to play the victim. How is this justice? Comment 1. This is why you should have just called the police instead of getting physical. Your wife is using your moment of violence against you, and now she has the upper hand legally.

You need to document everything and follow your lawyer's advice exactly. Don't do anything that could be seen as violating the restraining order, even if it seems unfair. Aw, reply, trust me, I regret hitting the guy every single day. But everyone keeps saying you should have called police like they would have done anything. Called them for what? He was there because my wife invited him. It's not breaking and entering if she gave him permission to be there. The cops would have told me it was a civil matter and left.

I understand that I fucked up legally, but I'm not going to pretend that finding your wife cheating in your own home is a situation where most people think clearly. I saw red and reacted. Now I'm paying for it while the guy who was screwing my wife gets to play victim. What really bothers me is that the restraining order was so easy for her to get. She walked into court, said she was afraid of me, and boom, I'm locked out of my own house.

There's no due process, no requirement to prove actual threats or violence toward her. I hit someone else, not her, but somehow that makes me dangerous to her. My lawyer says judges are on the side of caution with domestic violence claims, which I understand, but this isn't domestic violence. This is my wife using the system to get an advantage in what's obviously going to be a messy divorce. Comment two, you need to start building your case for the divorce proceedings immediately. Document every expense you're paying while locked out of your house. Get records of the mortgage payments, utilities, insurance, everything.

Also document any money she spends from joint accounts while you're separated. Op reply, already on it. I called the bank and put alerts on all our joint accounts so I'll know every time money gets spent. I can't freeze them without a court order, but I can at least track what she's doing. So far she's been pretty reasonable. just normal expenses like groceries and gas. I'm also documenting all my costs from this situation. Hotel is $89 per night, plus food since I can't cook, plus parking fees when I meet with my lawyer.

It's adding up fast. My lawyer said if this restraining order is ruled frivolous, I might be able to recover some of these costs from her. The mortgage is the big concern. It's $2,400 a month plus property taxes and and insurance. I'm paying for a house I can't live in while also paying hotel costs. If this drags on for months, it could bankrupt me. And Sarah knows it. She's probably counting on me running out of money and agreeing to a shitty divorce settlement just to end the financial bleeding. I've been married to her for 18 years. I know how she thinks when she wants something. She's always

been good at finding people's pressure points and using them. Comment three, have you considered that your son might genuinely be concerned about your behavior, not just taking sides? From his perspective, his world just got turned upside down, and now his father is facing assault charges. Maybe reach out through a family member instead of direct contact. I'll reply, I've thought about that, but Marcus won't even listen to my side of the story. He's 19 years old, not a little kid.

He's smart enough to understand that there are two sides to every situation, but he's choosing to only hear his mother's version. What bothers me is that he called me his father in his text, not dad. We've always been close. I coached his little league teams, taught him to drive, helped him with college applications. Now he's talking to me like I'm some stranger who happened to provide DNA. I tried reaching out through my brother, but Marcus won't take his calls either. Sarah has him completely convinced that I'm dangerous. I don't know what she told him exactly, but he's acting like I'm some kind of abusive monster.

The thing is, Marcus has never seen me violent before because I've never been violent before. This was a completely unique situation. But instead of thinking, wow, dad must have been really hurt and angry to react that way, he's thinking I never knew Dad was capable of violence. I get that he's probably scared and confused, but I'm his father. I deserve the benefit of the doubt, or at least a chance to explain myself. Update 2. The restraining order hearing happened three weeks ago, and let me tell you, it was a fucking

eye-opener. The judge dismissed the restraining order, but what happened in that courtroom changed my relationship with my son forever. First, the good news, my lawyer was right that Sarah couldn't prove any history of domestic violence or threats. The judge said that while my assault on David was clearly wrong, it was an isolated incident that didn't establish a pattern of violence towards Sarah. The restraining order was dissolved, and I got my house back.

But here's where it gets really fucked up, Marcus showed up to testify on his mother's behalf. My own son got up in front of a judge and lied about me. under oath. He claimed I was controlling and emotionally abusive throughout his childhood. He said I monitored all communications in the house and made major decisions without consulting mom. He told the judge I had a temper and that he was afraid of making me angry growing up. This is complete bullshit, and Marcus knows it. Yes, when he was a teenager, Sarah and I had rules about his phone and internet usage, but that's called being responsible parents. And yes, I made decisions about things like finances and home repairs, but that's because Sarah always

said she didn't want to deal with that stuff and was happy to let me handle it. The most hurtful part was when he said he was relieved when he left for college because he didn't have to walk on eggshells anymore. This kid who used to call me every Sunday from college to talk about his classes and his friends, telling a judge that he was afraid of me. My lawyer cross-examined him and asked specific questions about any incidents of violence or abuse. Marcus couldn't name a single specific incident, which made his testimony look weak. When asked if I had ever hit him or his mother, he admitted I hadn't, but he said that abuse

isn't always physical. The judge clearly didn't buy it. She said that while family testimony is important, she needed to see evidence of actual threatening behavior toward Sarah, not general claims about family dynamics. That's when my lawyer presented our evidence. We had Sarah credit card statements and bank records going back eight months. She spent over $7,000 on hotels, restaurants, and gifts during her affair. Not just local hotels either, there were charges from weekend trips to Chicago, Milwaukee, even a long weekend in Minneapolis. The hotel charges alone were $7,800. High-end places too, the Grand Geneva, the Palmer House, places that cost 300 to $400 per night, plus another $4,200 on dinners at expensive restaurants, always for two

people based on the amounts, and $3,000 in charges at jewelry stores and men's clothing stores. My lawyer also subpoenaed her phone records, which showed hundreds of calls and texts to David's number starting eight months ago. The timing matched perfectly with the credit card charges. Sarah's lawyer tried to argue that the financial evidence was irrelevant to whether I posed a threat to her safety. But the judge said it was very relevant because it showed Sarah had been planning and conducting an extensive affair, which provided context for my reaction when I discovered it. The restraining order was dismissed, but Sarah immediately filed for divorce.

She's asking for spousal support, half the value of the house, despite it being my inheritance, and half of everything else we own. Her divorce lawyer is still trying to use the assault charge against me. They're claiming I'm unfit to have any involvement in financial decisions and that Sarah needs protection from my volatile behavior. But my criminal lawyer says the assault case is likely to be reduced to a disorderly conduct plea with probation and anger management classes. The hardest part is Marcus.

After his testimony, I confronted him outside the courthouse. I asked him why he lied for his mother. and he said he wasn't lying, that this was how he experienced our family growing up. I told him that having rules and expectations is an abuse, and that every decision I made was for our family's benefit. He said that's exactly what an abusive person would say and that he was proud of his mother for finally standing up to me. I haven't spoken to him since. He's staying with Sarah at her sister's place, and they've blocked my number. My brother says I should try to repair the relationship, but I don't know how you come back from your own child accusing you of abuse in

court. The divorce proceedings are going to be messy. I'm back in my house, but it doesn't feel like home anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just walked away when I caught them. Filed for divorce quietly and avoided all this drama. Update 3. The divorce was finalized last week, and I got a much better outcome than I expected. The judge saw right through Sarah's bullshit claims about being abused and controlled, and the financial evidence of her affair made a huge difference in the settlement. Sarah got almost nothing. The judge ruled that the house remains mine as inherited property. Sarah tried to claim she was entitled to compensation for improvements we made over the years, but my lawyer showed that most of the major renovations,

kitchen, basement, new roof, were paid for with my income, not joint funds. She got $12,000 for her contributions to improvements. For other assets, the judge divided things based on contribution and conduct. Sarah got her car, her personal belongings, and $25,000 from our savings. I kept my car, my retirement accounts, and everything else. No spousal support because of the adultery and her abysals. to work, she has a bachelor's degree and work experience, so the judge said she could support herself. The best part was when Sarah's lawyer tried to argue that she needed more money

because she was starting over after years of financial dependence. The judge actually laughed and said that someone who spent $15,000 on hotels and gifts for her boyfriend clearly understood how to manage money just fine. Sarah lost her shit when the ruling came down. She started crying and saying it wasn't fair that she gave up her career for our family. Which is complete bullshit, she worked part-time by choice and quit three years ago because she said she was tired of dealing with office politics, not because I made her quit. The judge told her that adultery has consequences, and that using marital funds to support an affair was a serious breach of fiduciary duty.

She said Sarah was free to appeal, but the evidence was clear and the ruling was well with in state guidelines for fault-based divorces. Marcus was in the courtroom for the final hearing, still supporting his mother. When the judge announced the ruling, he stood up and said this is bullshit, she doesn't have anywhere to go. The bailiff had to tell him to sit down and be quiet. After the hearing, Marcus followed me out to the parking lot and started yelling at me. He said I was destroying his mother's life and that I was heartless for leaving her with

nothing. I told him that his mother destroyed her own life by cheating. He said real man would take care of his ex-wife regardless of what she did. That's when I lost my patience. I told him that a real son wouldn't lie in court to help his cheating mother, and that if he wanted to be part of her fantasy world where she's the victim, he could support her himself. He said he was going to help her as much as he could, but he's a college student with no money. I told him he'd have even less money now because I was done paying his tuition and expenses. If he wants to choose his mother over me, he can figure out how to pay for college himself. Marcus looked shocked, like it never occurred to him that there might be consequences for his choices. He said he couldn't afford college

without my help, and I told him he should have thought about that before he decided to testify against me. Sarah overheard this conversation and came running over, screaming that I couldn't punish Marcus for telling the truth. I told her that Marcus lied under oath, and now he gets to live with the consequences of that choice just like she has to live with the consequences of her affair. The current situation is that Sarah is staying with her sister, but her sister's husband is apparently getting tired of the arrangement. Sarah applied for several apartments, but her credit isn't great and she doesn't have recent employment history. Most places want first month, last month, and security deposit up front, which she can't afford even with the 25. $5,000 from the divorce.

Marcus is back at college, but he called me last week begging me to reconsider cutting off his financial support. He said he's applied for student loans, but they won't cover all his expenses, and he might have to drop out. I told him he can get a job like thousands of other college students, or he can figure out how to rebuild our relationship. He asked what he would have to do, and I told him he'd need to admit that he lied in court and publicly apologize for defaming me. He said he didn't lie, that he was just sharing his

perspective on our family dynamics. I told him that his perspective nearly cost me my house and my financial security, and that I wasn't interested in his revisionist history. I've been living alone in my house for a few months now, and honestly, it's pretty peaceful. No drama, no walking on eggshells, no wondering what Sarah is really doing when she's out. I eat what I want, watch what I want, and don't have to account for my time to anyone. My brother thinks I'm being too harsh with Marcus, that he's just a kid who got caught in the middle of a bad situation. But I don't see it that way. Marcus made a choice to actively participate in trying to destroy me financially and legally. The fact that he's young doesn't excuse lying under oath.

Sarah has been trying to contact me through mutual friends, asking for help with housing. A few people have suggested I should loan her money for an apartment deposit, for Marcus's sake. But I don't owe Sarah anything, and Marcus chose his side. I worked my ass off for 18 years to build a life for my family, and they both threw it back in my face the moment it became convenient. Now they can figure out how to build their own lives without my help. Final update Well, it's been two years, and I never thought I'd be posting another update, but Karma apparently isn't done with my family yet. Marcus got married last September to his college girlfriend Emma.

I wasn't invited to the wedding, obviously, since we haven't spoken since the divorce proceedings. I found out about it through my brother, who heard from a family member. Sarah paid for the wedding with money she borrowed from someone, trying to make it look like she was. was doing fine financially. Emma seemed like a nice girl when I met her that one time before everything went to shit. Smart, studying accounting, came from a decent family. I always thought Marcus was lucky to have someone like her, but apparently he didn't appreciate what he had. Three weeks ago, Emma found out Marcus was cheating on her. And get this, he was cheating with a married woman he met through his mother. Sarah had gotten a job, finally,

and Marcus started hanging around there sometimes. He met this woman, Diane, who's about 35 and married with two kids. The affair came out because Diane's husband found text messages on her phone. He confronted Diane, she confessed everything, and then the husband contacted Emma directly through Facebook to tell her what was going on. Apparently Marcus had been spending money they didn't have on hotels and dinners with this woman, just like his mother did with David. Emma kicked Marcus out immediately.

She filed for divorce within a week and moved back in with her parents. She cleaned out their joint bank account and returned her wedding ring to Marcus by throwing it at his face in the parking lot of his apartment complex. This is where it gets interesting for me. Marcus called me two weeks ago, crying on the phone, begging me to help him. He said Emma took everything and he can't afford his apartment or his car payments. He said he made a mistake and that he understands now what I went through with he asked if I would help him pay for a lawyer for his divorce, and maybe help with rent until he can get back on his feet. I asked him if he was calling to apologize for lying about me in court, and he said that was different because he was protecting his mother. I told him to call me back when he was ready to admit he lied and asked for my forgiveness.

Then I hung up. Sarah called me the next day. She's apparently also struggling financially. The job doesn't pay much because she's new and doesn't have a client base yet. Her sister's husband finally kicked her out, so she's been staying in a weekly motel that costs $300 per week. She asked if I would consider lending her money for first month and security deposit on an apartment. I asked her why I would do that, and she said for the sake of our family and because Marcus needs stability while he's going through his divorce. I laughed out loud and told her that Marcus made his choice when he decided to testify against me, and she made her choice when she decided to fuck David in my shower.

She started crying and saying that she knows she made mistakes, but that I'm being cruel and vindictive. She said the affair was a mistake and that she never meant for things to go as far as they did. I told her that spending $7,000 on another man wasn't a mistake, it was a choice she made every single day for months. Then she said something that really pissed me off. She said that if I helped them now, it would show that I was the bigger person and that I had really forgiven them. Like forgiveness means I'm supposed to bankroll their lives after they tried to destroy mine.

I told her that forgiveness doesn't mean funding their bad decisions, and that I wasn't interested in being the bigger person. I said I hope she and Marcus figure out how to live with the consequences of their choices, just like I had to learn to live with the consequences of mine. Marcus has called me three more times since then. Each call, he sounds more desperate. He's apparently behind on rent and his car is about to be repossessed. He dropped out of college because he couldn't afford it without my help, and now he's working at a pizza place making $12 an hour.

The last time he called, he finally said he was sorry for testifying against me, but he said it was because he believed his mother and thought he was doing the right thing. I told him that wasn't an apology for lying, it was an excuse for lying. There's a difference. Emma actually reached out to me a few weeks ago through Facebook. She said she wanted to apologize for not seeing through Marcus and Sarah's lies during the divorce proceedings. She said that going through her own divorce made her understand what I must have felt like being betrayed by people you trust. The bottom line is that I'm done with both of them. They're both adults who made their choices and now they get to live with the consequences.

I spent too many years enabling Sarah's behavior and trying to fix Marcus's problems. I'm not their safety net anymore. They burned that bridge when they decided to try to destroy my life in court.