Reddit Stories - DISCOVERED my spouse being UNFAITHFUL with an INDIVIDUAL named N, only to realize

Episode Date: July 5, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #infidelity #betrayal #marriage #trustSummary: DISCOVERED my spouse being UNFAITHFUL with an INDIVIDUAL named N, only to realize the depth of deception and heartbreak that had been hidden from me.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, infidelity, betrayal, marriage, trust, cheating, deception, heartbreak, secrets, affair, honesty, communication, forgiveness, healing, trustissues, emotionalpainBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my spouse being unfaithful with an individual named N, only to realize it was my very own sibling. When I approached them about it, he became aggressive towards me, leading me to take legal action and submit a formal complaint for divorce. I've been married to Molly for four years now and we've been together for six total. And up until about two months ago I thought we had a pretty solid marriage, you know, Like we fought sometimes but nothing major, we had our routines, she'd come home from her job at the accounting firm around six most nights and we'd have dinner and watch Netflix or whatever.

Little boring married couple stuff that I actually liked because it felt stable and comfortable and I thought she felt the same way. But then things started changing and at first I told myself I was just being paranoid because that's what I do. I overthink everything and Molly always used to tease me about it in a loving way, calling me her little worrier and kissing my forehead when I'd get anxious about stupid stuff. Except now when I'd mention that something felt off she'd just roll her eyes and tell me I was being dramatic and that hurt more than I expected it to because she'd never dismissed my feelings like that before. The changes started small, like she'd work late maybe once a week instead of never, and she'd

come home looking tired but also kind of energized if that makes sense, like she was tired physically but mentally she seemed more awake than she'd been in months. And she started taking her phone everywhere, even to the bathroom which was new because she used to leave it charging on the kitchen counter most of the time and wouldn't even look at it until the next morning. I remember the first time I really noticed something was wrong, she came home at almost nine on a Tuesday which was weird because Tuesdays are usually their slow days, and when I asked her about it she said they were working on some big client's books and it was all hands

on deck. But here's the thing, she works for a small firm with like six people total and I've met her co-workers at company parties and stuff, and none of them seemed like the type to stay late unless someone was literally holding a gun to their head, especially not on a Tuesday. So I asked her which client it was and she got this look on her face like I'd caught her stealing cookies or something. Just for a split second before she said it was some manufacturing company she'd never mentioned before. And when I said, oh cool, what I was? What do they manufacture? She just said equipment and then immediately started asking me about my day and what I wanted for dinner tomorrow like she was trying to change the subject. That's when

the little voice in my head started getting louder, the one that says pay attention something isn't right here, and I tried to ignore it because I didn't want to be that husband who doesn't trust his wife. But the late nights kept happening more and more, and she started taking calls in the other room and talking really quietly, and when I'd walk and she'd quickly say, okay, talk to you later and hang up. The phone thing really got to me because we'd always been pretty open about our phones, not like we went through each other's stuff, but if hers was closer and mine was ringing, she'd answer it and vice versa. And suddenly she was guarding that thing like it contained nuclear launch codes. She started taking it with her to shower, which was just weird,

and she'd sleep with it under her pillow instead of on the nightstand like she had for literally years. And then there was the way she started looking at me, or maybe I should say not looking at me, because she'd stare off into space during dinner and when I'd ask what she was thinking about she'd just say work stuff or nothing important. But her eyes looked different, like she was seeing something I couldn't see, and when she did focus on me it was like she was trying to remember who I was or something. The sex stopped too, which wasn't like her at all because she'd always been the one with the higher drive between us. and when I tried to initiate anything she'd say she was too tired or stressed about work. And I get that, work stress is real and I didn't want to pressure her, but it had been weeks and when I tried to talk to her about it she acted like I was being unreasonable for even bringing it up. I started paying more attention to her schedule and realized the late nights weren't

random at all, they were every Tuesday and Thursday like clockwork, plus some random other days thrown in. And she started leaving earlier in the mornings too, saying she wanted to get a jump on the day, but her work doesn't even open until nine and she was leaving by 7.30. That's when I decided to drive by her office one Thursday evening around seven, just to see if there were actually other cars there, and guess what? The parking lot was completely empty except for the security guards car. No lights on in the building, nothing. So either she was lying about working late or her entire office had decided to work in the dark like some kind of vampire accounting firm. I sat in my car for like 20 minutes trying to figure out what to do with this information.

And I felt sick to my stomach because now I knew for sure she was lying to me, but I didn't know what she was actually doing. And part of me wanted to just drive home and pretend I'd never seen the empty parking lot, but I couldn't unknow what I knew, you know. When she got home that night around 9.30 I asked her how work was and she said, said busy as usual, really draining, and I just nodded and said that sucks while my heart was pounding because she was looking right at me in line without even blinking. And I realized I didn't know who this person was anymore, this person who could lie so easily to someone she claimed to

love. I started checking her stories more carefully after that, like when she said she was grabbing lunch with her co-worker Jenny I'd casually ask about it later and she'd give me details that didn't quite add up. Like she'd say they went to this Italian place but they then mentioned they had sushi, or she'd stressed about her divorce, but last time she talked about Jenny she was happily married. The breaking point came when I found the burner phone, and I'm still not sure if she wanted me to find it or if she just got careless. It was a Tuesday night and she'd come home late again with that same tired but energized look,

and she went straight to the shower like she always did after her late nights. She left her purse on the kitchen counter and her regular phone was charging on the table, and something made me look in her purse even though I'd never done that before in our entire relationship. And there it was, this cheap little phone tucked into a side pocket, and my hands were shaking as I opened it up and saw dozens of text messages. The contact was just saved as am, but I scrolled through some of the messages and my whole world just collapsed right there in the kitchen while I could hear the shower running upstairs. The messages were definitely sexual, talking about meeting up and how they couldn't wait to see each other and all this stuff about. how amazing the previous night was and how they wished they could spend more time together. And there were messages about sneaking around and being careful and making sure nobody found

and I just kept scrolling and reading these messages between my wife and whoever M was. But here's the thing that really made me sick. Some of the messages referenced things that had happened at our house, like M saying they love the view from our bedroom window and how comfortable our couch was. So this person had been in my house, in my bed probably, while I was at work or wherever, and Molly had brought them there and they'd been laughing about it together. I took pictures of some of the messages with my own phone because I knew she'd deny everything if I confronted her without proof.

And then I hit the burner phone somewhere in the house and just sat at the kitchen table trying to process what I discovered. The shower was still running and I could hear her singing like she was happy, and I wanted to throw up. When she came downstairs in her robe with her hair wrapped in a towel, she kissed the top of my head like nothing had happened and asked if I wanted to watch a movie. And I just looked at her and said we need to talk. And her whole body went stiff like she knew exactly what this was about. I told her I found the phone and I knew she was cheating and I wanted to know who Am was and how long this had been going on.

And instead of denying it or crying or apologizing or any of the things I expected, she just got this cold look on her face and, and said it wasn't what I thought and I was jumping to conclusions. So I showed her the pictures I'd taken of the messages and her face went white, but then she got angry instead of ashamed and started yelling at me for going through her personal things and violating her privacy. And I'm sitting there thinking, are you seriously mad at me right now for finding out your cheating, like I'm the one who did something wrong here? She kept saying I wouldn't understand and it wasn't that simple and there were things about our marriage that I didn't see. and I asked her what the hell that was supposed to mean because I thought our marriage was fine

until she started sneaking around. And she said I was naive if I thought our marriage was fine and that she'd been unhappy for a long time but didn't know how to tell me. But here's what really pissed me off. She said all this like it justified what she was doing, like being unhappy gave her the right to cheat instead of talking to me about it or going to counseling or just leaving if she was that miserable. And when I said that to her she just rolled her eyes and said I wouldn't have listened anyway, which made me even angrier because she never even tried.

I asked her again who M was and she said it didn't matter and it was over anyway, but I knew she was lying because some of those messages were from that same day. And I told her I wanted her to call this person right now and ended in front of me, and that's when she really lost it and started screaming about how controlling I was and how she felt like she was suffocating in this marriage. And I'm thinking, okay, if you're suffocating then why didn't you just leave? Why did you have to cheat and lie and bring someone into our house? But instead I just asked her if she wanted a divorce because I wasn't going to stay married to someone who was cheating on me and lying about it. She said maybe that would be best and then she grabbed the burner phone and went upstairs, and I could hear her talking to someone but I couldn't make out the words.

And I just sat there thinking about how my marriage was ending and how I'd have to tell people and deal with lawyers and split up all our stuff, and I felt empty more than anything else. But then I started getting angry, because she was upstairs probably talking to her affair partner while I sat downstairs dealing with the aftermath of her choices. And I realized I still didn't know who this person was, and for some reason that was driving me crazy because I felt like I deserved to know who had helped destroy my marriage. The thing is, I'd been having this feeling for weeks that something about this whole situation was familiar, like I'd seen signs before but couldn't place them. And some of the messages I'd read

mentioned things that made me think this person knew me or knew things about me, which was creepy and confusing. Molly came back downstairs about an hour later and said she was going to stay at her sisters for a few days while we figured things out, and I said fine because I needed space to think anyway. But as she was packing her bag I asked her one more time who she was having an affair with, and she just said it didn't matter and I needed to let it go. But I couldn't let it go, and after she left I started going through everything more carefully, looking for clues about who M could be. I checked our credit card statements and found charges at restaurants on days when she said she was working late.

And then I found something that made my blood run cold. A receipt from a gift shop for a men's watch that cost $300, dated two weeks ago. Molly had never mentioned buying anyone a gift, and I started thinking about who she might be buying expensive gifts for. That's when I decided to set up a camera in our living room, one of those small ones you can hide anywhere, because I had a feeling she might bring this person to the house again and I wanted to know who it was. I know that sounds crazy, but I felt like I was losing my mind not knowing, and I needed

of her affair and what was happening in my own home. I didn't have to wait long because five days later while I was at work, the camera picked up Molly coming home with someone, and when I watched the footage that night I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was my brother Marcus, my older brother who I've looked up to my entire life, who was supposed to be one of my best friends, who had been in my wedding and given a speech about how happy he was that I'd found someone like Molly. I had to watch the footage three times before it really sank in, seeing them come into my house together and kiss in my living room and then go upstairs to my bedroom. My brother, who I talked to at least twice a week,

who I'd trusted with everything, was the one sleeping with my wife. And suddenly everything made sense, why some of those text messages reference things about me and my schedule, why Molly seemed to know exactly when I'd be gone, why this person felt comfortable in my house. Marcus knew all my routines, knew when I worked late, knew when I went to the gym, knew everything about my life because I told him everything. I realized they'd probably been planning this for months, finding ways to be alone together, and I thought about all the times Marcus had come over when Molly was home alone, all the times he'd offered to help her with things when I was busy. The worst part was remembering how supportive Marcus had been when I started

having doubts about Molly's behavior, telling me I was probably overthinking things and that all marriages go through rough patches. He'd been gaslighting me while sleeping with my wife, making me feel crazy for noticing things that were actually happening. I spent the whole night just sitting in my living room staring at the spot where I'd watched them kiss, and I kept thinking about how they both looked at me during family dinners and holidays, knowing what they were doing behind my back. and I thought about how they probably talked about me, maybe even laughed about how clueless I was. By morning I'd decided I was going to confront both of them, and I called Molly and told her she needed to come home because we needed to finish our conversation.

I didn't mention that I knew about Marcus because I wanted to see if she'd finally tell, but I also texted Marcus and asked him to come over because I needed to talk to him about something important. Molly got there first and she seemed nervous, asking why I'd insisted she'd come back and if I'd been going through her stuff again. And I just said I knew who M was and I wanted her to admit it, and she got that same cold look and said she wasn't going to play games with me. That's when Marcus showed up, and I'll never forget the look on his face when he saw Molly there and realized something was wrong. He tried to act normal, asking what was going on and if everything was okay, but I could see the panic in his eyes. I looked at both of them standing in my

living room and said, I know you're sleeping together, I have proof, and I want both of you to confess or get out of my house right now. And Molly started to say something but Marcus cut her off and said we should all calm down and talk about this like adults. And that's when I lost it, because he was still trying to manipulate me even after being caught, still trying to control the situation and make me feel like I was the one being unreasonable. I told him he was a piece of shit for sleeping with my wife and that I never wanted to see either of them again. Marcus got this look on his face like I'd slapped him, and then he said I was being dramatic and that things weren't as simple as I was making them out to be.

And I said, oh really, please explain to me how sleeping with your brother's wife is complicated, because I'm apparently too stupid to understand. That's when Molly jumped in and said they hadn't meant for it to happen and that they tried to stop but they had feelings for each other that they couldn't control. And I just started laughing because that was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard, like they were victims of their own emotions instead of two adults who made choices. I told them both to get out and Marcus said we needed to talk about this as a family, and I said we're not family anymore, you made sure of that when you decided to fuck my wife.

And that's when he got aggressive, stepping closer to me and saying I needed to watch my mouth and show some respect. And I'm thinking respect, you want me to be. to show you respect after what you've done, and I told him to get away from me before I did something we'd both regret. But instead of leaving, he got right in my face and said I was always such a drama queen and that maybe if I'd been a better husband Molly wouldn't have needed to look elsewhere. That's when he pushed me and I stumbled backward into the coffee table and I pushed him. And then Molly was yelling at both of us to stop and Marcus was saying I'd started it and I was saying

get the fuck out of my house. Marcus grabbed me by the shirt and shoved me against the wall, and I could smell his cologne and see the watch Molly had bought him on his wrist, and something just snapped in me. I started fighting back, throwing punches and trying to get him off me, and he was bigger than me but I was angrier than I'd ever been in my life. We ended up on the floor with him on top of me, hitting me in the face and ribs while Molly screamed at us to stop, and I kept thinking this is my brother, this person I loved and

trusted, and he's beating me up in my own living room while my wife watches. And the whole time he was hitting me he was saying things like this is what you get for being such an asshole and you brought this on yourself. I managed to get away from him and run to the kitchen where I grabbed a knife, not because I wanted to stab him but because I wanted him to back off and leave me alone. And when he saw the knife he finally stopped advancing on me, but then he started saying I was crazy and dangerous and that he was going to call the police on me. and I'm standing there bleeding and holding a knife in my own kitchen while my cheating wife and brother act like I'm the problem, and I realized how completely fucked up this whole situation had become.

So I put the knife down and told them both to get out and never come back, and that I was filing for divorce and never wanted to see either of them again. Marcus said I was making a huge mistake and that family was more important than this, and I said you should have thought about that before you decided to destroy mine. And then they finally left, but not before Molly said she'd be back for her things and that I better not do anything stupid. After they were gone I just sat on my kitchen floor and cried, because my marriage was over and my relationship with my brother was over and I felt like my whole life had been a lie. And I realized the camera had recorded everything, including Marcus assaulting me in my own home, and I decided right then that I was going to press charges. I know everyone thinks I should have just let it go and tried to work things out as a family,

but I can't get past the fact that my own brother beat me up while defending his affair with my wife. And when I told my parents what had happened, they said I was being vindictive and that I should think about forgiveness and moving forward as a family. But I don't want to forgive them, and I don't want to move forward like nothing happened, because something did happen and it changed everything. I called the police and showed them the video of Marcus attacking me, and I filed charges for assault. I also filed for divorce and asked for everything I could get, and I told Molly she could have her stuff, but I wanted her out of my life completely. Now everyone in my family is mad at me for pressing charges and they're saying I'm tearing the family apart

over something that can be worked through. And my mom keeps calling and crying and asking me to drop the charges and go to family therapy, but I don't want to sit in a room and talk about my feelings with the people who betrayed me. Marcus has been calling too, leaving messages saying he's sorry and that he wants to make things right, but I don't know how you make something like this right. How do you come back from sleeping with your brother's wife and then beating him up when he finds out? And Molly keeps texting me trying to explain her side of things, saying she never meant to hurt me and that she does love me, but she loves Marcus too and she can't help how she feels. And every time I read those texts I get angry all over again because she's still not taking

responsibility for what she did. She's still acting like this just happened to her instead of something she chose. The court date is next month and my lawyer says we have a strong case because of the video evidence, but my whole family is pressuring me to drop it and just move on. And I keep wondering if I'm being an asshole for not just letting this. go and trying to preserve what's left of my family relationships. So I guess my question is, am I the asshole for pressing charges against my brother and refusing to work things out as a family? I honestly don't know anymore because everyone I trust has been telling me I'm wrong, but something inside me says that what they did was unforgivable and that I deserve better

than being expected to just get over it. But maybe I'm too close to the situation to see clearly, so I'm hoping strangers on the internet can give me some perspective on whether I'm handling this right or if I'm just being a vindictive asshole who can't let things go. Update 1, I didn't expect my post to blow up like this, but thank you to everyone who commented. Especially those who told me I'm not crazy for feeling like my whole world got turned upside down. Reading all your responses has helped me realize that I'm not overreacting and that what happened to me was seriously fucked up, even if my family doesn't want to admit it. A lot of people asked for updates, so here's what's happened since I posted.

First, the harassment for my family has gotten worse, not better. My mom calls me every single day crying and begging me to drop the charges, saying that Marcus has learned his lesson and that I'm destroying our family over something that can be fixed with time and forgiveness. And my dad, who I thought might understand better, told me yesterday that I'm being stubborn and prideful and that real men don't call the police on their brothers over family disputes. He said I should have just beaten Marcus up and called it even, like this is some kind where we settle things with our fists instead of, you know, expecting people not to cheat with

our wives and then assault us. My sister has been the worst though, calling me selfish and saying that I'm putting my hurt feelings above the good of the whole family. She said Molly and Marcus are both sorry and that they're willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, and that I'm being unreasonable by not even listening to them. But here's the thing that really gets me, none of them seem to understand that this isn't just about hurt feelings or family drama. Marcus committed assault, there's video evidence of it, and if he did this to a stranger on

the street everyone would expect him to face consequences. But because he's my brother and because it happened during a family situation, suddenly I'm supposed to just let it slide. The other thing is that people keep acting like Molly and Marcus just made a mistake, like they They tripped and fell into bed together by accident. But this was going on for months, probably longer, and they were planning and scheming and lying to my face the whole time. It's not a mistake, that's a pattern of deliberate choices to hurt me and betray my trust.

I've been staying at a hotel since the confrontation because I couldn't handle being in that house anymore, and Molly has been going there to get her stuff while I'm at work. My neighbor texted me yesterday to tell me she saw Marcus helping Molly move boxes, and I just felt sick knowing that they're still together and probably talking about what an asshole I am for not just accepting their relationship. The divorce is moving forward and my lawyer says it should be pretty straightforward since and most of our assets are in my name anyway. Molly hasn't fought me on anything yet, which makes me think she feels guilty, but it also

makes me wonder if she's just eager to get it over with so she can be with Marcus without any complications. The hardest part is how isolated I feel, because the people who are supposed to support me during the worst time of my life are instead pressuring me to forgive the people who hurt me. And I keep second-guessing myself, wondering if maybe I am being too stubborn or if I should just drop the charges and try to move on. But then I watch that video again and I see Marcus hitting me in my own living room while Molly just stands there, and I remember, and I remember how scared I felt and how helpless, and I know I can't just pretend that didn't happen. He could have killed me if he'd hit me the wrong way, and he didn't stop until I got the knife,

which means he would have kept going if I hadn't defended myself. Some people in the comments asked about the burner phone and what happened with that. I turned it over to my lawyer as evidence for the divorce. My lawyer said some of the messages could be considered evidence of alienation of affection, which might help my case, but honestly I don't even want to. to read them because I think they just hurt more. I also found out that Marcus has been telling people his side of the story, claiming that I attacked him first and that he was just offending himself. But the video clearly shows him pushing me first and then getting on top of me

and hitting me repeatedly, so I don't know how he thinks that's going to work in court. The thing that's really messing with my head is how normal they both acted around me while this was going on. Like Marcus came to my birthday dinner two months ago and gave me a card talking about how glad he was to have me as a brother, and the whole time he was sleeping with my wife. And Molly planned our anniversary dinner and acted all romantic and loving, and then went and met Marcus the next day. My cousin also called me and said he'd heard about everything through the family grapevine, and he told me that he'd always thought something was weird between Molly and Marcus but didn't want to say anything because he wasn't sure. And I'm like, thanks for looking

out for me, bro, really appreciate you keeping your suspicions to yourself while I was being humiliated. The court date is in three weeks and my lawyer says we're well prepared, but I'm nervous about seeing Marcus again and having to relive everything in front of a judge. Part of me just wants to get it over with, but another part of me wants him to face real consequences for what he did, not just a slap on the wrist. I've been going to therapy to help deal with all this, and my therapist says what I'm experiencing is normal given the level of betrayal I've suffered. She said it's common for families to pressure victims. She said it's common for families to pressure victims to forgive and move on because it's easier for them than dealing with the

reality of what happened. But that doesn't mean I have to comply with their wishes. She also said that the fact that Marcus escalated to physical violence shows that this isn't just about an affair, it's about someone who was willing to hurt me to protect his secret. And when I put it that way, it makes me feel more confident that I'm doing the right thing by pressing charges. I know this update is kind of all over the place, but my head is still spinning from everything that's happened. I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm hanging in there and that I'm not backing down, even though it feels like the whole world is against me right now. The support from strangers on here has meant more to me than you know, because it's helped

me realize that I'm not crazy and that I deserve better than what my family is trying to get me to accept. So thank you for that, and I'll update again after the court date to let you know how everything goes. Update 2, well, the court hearing happened yesterday and I'm still processing everything that went down, but I wanted to update you all since so many of you have been following this shit show and offering support. Spoiler alert, it didn't go the way anyone in my family expected, and now they're even more pissed at me than before. First off, Marcus showed up with a lawyer, which I wasn't expecting because he'd been acting like this was no big deal and that I dropped the charges before it went to court. But apparently when he realized I was serious about following

through, he decided he needed professional help, which probably means he finally watched the video his lawyer requested and realized how bad it looked. His lawyer tried to argue that it was a family dispute that got out of hand and that Marcus was defending himself after I pushed him first, but the video pretty clearly shows that he and that he was the aggressor for most of the fight. You can literally see him on top of me hitting me repeatedly while I'm trying to get away, and the audio picks up him saying things like this is what you get which doesn't exactly sound like self-defense. The prosecutor was actually really good, and she walked through the video step by step, pointing out each moment where Marcus had the opportunity to de-escalate or lead but chose to continue the violence instead.

She also noted that he's significantly bigger than me and that the injuries I sustained consistent with someone being beaten by a, larger person, not with a mutual fight between equals. Marcus's lawyer also tried to bring up the affair like it somehow justified what happened, arguing that I was emotionally unstable and that Marcus was trying to calm me down when things got physical. But the judge shut that down pretty quickly, saying that adultery isn't a crime but assault is, and that my emotional state didn't give Marcus the right to put his hands on me. The worst part was when Marcus got on the stand to testify, because he basically threw Molly under the bus to try to save himself. He claimed that she had pursued him and that he tried to resist, but she kept pushing,

and that he felt terrible about betraying me but didn't know how to handle the situation. And then he had the nerve to say that he'd come to my house that day to confess everything and end the affair, but that I'd confronted them before he could explain and that I'd been unreasonable and threatening. Which is complete bullshit because I have text messages from Molly's burner phones showing they were planning to meet up that same week, so clearly ending the affair wasn't high on their priority list. But what really got to me was when he started crying on the stand, talking about how sorry he was and how he never meant for things to go so far. And for just a moment I felt bad for him, because this is my brother and I've never seen him cry

before, but then I remembered him on top of me hitting me in my own house and I got angry all over again. The judge found him guilty of simple assault and sentenced him to six months probation, anger management classes, and a restraining order that says he can't come within 500 feet of me or my property. He also has to pay a fine in court costs, and it's going to be on his record as a misdemeanor conviction. My family is absolutely furious about the restraining order because it means Marcus can't come to family gatherings if I'm there, and my mom started crying in the courthouse talking about how I'm splitting up the family and making it impossible for us to be together for holidays and birthdays. But honestly, I don't want to be around Marcus right now

anyway, and I don't understand why they think I should just get over being assaulted so that family dinners can go back to normal. I'm like, sorry mom, but I don't really feel like passing the mashed potatoes to the guy who beat me, you know. The divorce is almost finalized too, and Molly didn't contest anything, which made the whole process pretty quick. She's moving in with Marcus, which I guess makes sense since they're apparently in love and can't help their feelings or whatever bullshit excuse they're using this week. She tried to talk to me outside the courthouse, saying she knew I probably hated her, but that she hoped someday I could understand that she never meant to hurt me. And I just looked at her and said you spent months lying to my face

and bringing my brother into our bed, how exactly did you think that was going to end? She started crying then and said she knew she'd handled things badly but that she really did love Marcus and that they were trying to build a life together. And I'm thinking great, I'm so happy for you, thanks for destroying my life so you could find your happiness with my brother. The thing that kills me is that everyone keeps talking about Marcus and Molly like there's some tragic love story, like their Romeo and Juliet instead of two people who chose to sneak around and lie and cheat instead of handling their feelings like adults. And when I point out that they could have just told me they had feelings for each other before anything happened,

acts like I'm being naive about how love works. But I've been in love before, I fell in love with Molly, and I didn't handle it by lying and cheating and betraying someone else's trust. I broke up with my previous girlfriend and then pursued Molly honestly, like a decent human being, because that's what you do when you have feelings for someone who isn't available. My dad called me last night and said I need to think about what's best for the family as a whole, not just my own hurt feelings, and that holding grudges is only going to make everyone miserable. And I said, Dad, I'm not holding a grudge, I'm holding people accountable for their actions, and there's a difference even if you don't want to see it.

He said Marcus has learned his lesson and that the family needs to heal, but how exactly is the family supposed to heal when nobody wants to acknowledge what actually happened? They all keep talking about forgiveness and moving forward, but nobody has actually apologized for the right things or shown that they understand why what they did was so fucked up. I've been thinking a lot about what my therapist said about boundaries and self-respect, and I realize that if I just let this go and pretend everything is fine, I'm basically telling everyone that they can treat me however they want as long as they cry about it afterward. And I can't live like that, always wondering who's lying to me or what secrets people are keeping.

The hardest part is that I really did love Marcus, he was. one of my best friends and I looked up to him my whole life, and losing that relationship hurts almost as much as losing my marriage. But I can't separate the person I thought he was from the person who was capable of doing what he did, and I don't know how to get past that. Some people have asked me if I regret pressing charges or if I wish I'd handle things differently, and honestly I don't know. Part of me wishes none of this had ever happened and that we could all go back to the way things were before, but another part of me knows that the way things were before was built on lies anyway. At least now I know the truth about who these people really are,

and I can make decisions based on reality instead of the fantasy I was living in where my wife loved me and my brother had my back. It sucks that the truth is so ugly, but I'd rather know than spend the rest of my life being played for a fool. I'm planning to move to a different city next month for a fresh start, somewhere none of them know where I am and where I can build a life that isn't haunted by all this bullshit. I also got a job offer from a company I interviewed with, and it pays better than what I'm making now, so at least something good is coming out of this mess.

My lease is up at the end of the month anyway, and I can't afford the house payment without Molly's income, so it makes sense to start over somewhere new. I'm actually kind of excited about it, even though it means leaving everything familiar behind, because maybe that's what I need right now. I know my family thinks I'm running away, but I think I'm running towards something better, a life where people don't lie to me and betray me and then expect me to be grateful for their

apologies. And if that makes me the asshole in their story, then I guess I can live with that. Thanks again to everyone who's been supportive through this whole nightmare, you've helped me stay sane when everyone else was trying to convince me I was crazy. I'll probably post one more update after I get settled in my new place, but for now I'm just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and getting through each day. Final update, so I've been in my new city for about three weeks now and I figured I owed you all one last update since you've been following this train wreck from the beginning. A lot has happened since my last post, some good and some absolutely fucking insane, and I'm still trying to process all of it. First the good news,

I love my new job and my new apartment, and being away from all the family drama has been exactly what I needed. I can actually sleep through the night now without having anxiety dreams about finding that burner phone or watching Marcus hit me, and I'm starting to feel like myself again instead of just this angry hurt person who couldn't think about anything else. The city is great too, it's bigger than where I used to live and there's actually stuff to do here, and I've met a few people through work who seem cool. It's weird being somewhere that nobody knows my story or looks at me with pity or judgment, and I'm realizing how much I needed that fresh start. But the really crazy thing happened two weeks ago when Marcus showed up at my apartment building.

I have no idea how he found out where I live because I didn't tell anyone in my family my exact address, but there he was standing in the lobby when I got home from work, looking like he'd been waiting for a while. At first I thought about calling the police because of the restraining order, but then I realized we were in a different state so I wasn't sure if it applied, and honestly I was curious about what he could possibly have to say that was worth driving hours to tell me. He looked terrible and when he saw me he started talking really fast about how sorry he was and how he'd made the biggest mistake of his life and how he needed me to forgive him so he could move on with his life. And I just stood there listening to him ramble about how

guilty he felt and how much he missed our relationship and how he'd do anything to make things right between us. But the whole time he was talking, I kept waiting for him to actually acknowledge what he'd done wrong, not just say he was sorry for hurting me but explain that he understood why it was so fucked up. But he never did, he just kept saying he was sorry and that he loved me and that family was more important than anything else. And when I asked him if he was still with Molly, he said yes, but that it wasn't about her, it was about us and our relationship as brothers. So I told him that there is no relationship anymore, that he destroyed that when he chose to sleep with my wife. And he got frustrated and said I was being stubborn and holding

on to anger that was only hurting myself. He said Molly was miserable because she felt guilty about coming between us, and that they were both in therapy trying to work through their issues, and that everyone would be happier if I could just find a way to forgive them and move forward. And that's when I realized that even after everything that had happened, after the court case and the restraining order and me moving across the country to get away from them, he still didn't understand what he'd actually done to me. He thought this was about jealousy or hurt feelings, not about the complete destruction of trust and the violation of everything I thought I knew about

the people closest to me. I told him that I didn't care if Molly felt guilty and I didn't care if they were they were in therapy, because none of that changed what they'd put me through or gave me any reason to think they were different people now. And I said that showing up at my apartment after I'd moved away to escape all this bullshit was just another example of him not respecting my boundaries or caring about what I needed. He started getting angry then, saying I was being unreasonable and that I couldn't just cut off my entire family over one mistake. And I said one mistake. You had an affair with my wife for months, you lied to my face repeatedly, you made me think I was going crazy when I started noticing things, and then you physically attacked me when I found out.

That's not one mistake, that's a pattern of choices to hurt me and betray my trust. He said I was twisting things and making them sound worse than they were, and that if I really cared about family I would find a way to work through this instead of running away like a child. And that's when I told him to get the fuck out of my building and never contact me again, because I was done listening to him minimize what he'd done and blame me for not getting over it fast enough. He left after that, but not before saying that I was going to regret cutting everyone and that someday I'd realize family was all that mattered. And I just watched him walk away thinking that if this is what family looks like, then maybe I'm better off without it.

The next day my mom called me sobbing, saying Marcus had told her about our conference. and that she couldn't believe I'd been so cruel to him when he was trying so hard to make things right. And I said, Mom, he violated a restraining order to show up at my apartment uninvited and then got angry when I didn't welcome him with open arms, how exactly is that trying to make things right? She said the restraining order was just a legal thing and that it shouldn't apply to family members who love each other and want to reconcile. And I had to explain to my own mother that restraining orders exist specifically to protect people from family who won't respect their boundaries, and that Marcus showing up at my home was exactly the kind of

behavior the order was meant to prevent. But she just kept saying I was being too harsh and that Marcus was suffering too, and that I needed to think about forgiveness and healing instead of punishment and revenge. And I'm so tired of having the same conversation over and over again with people who refuse to understand that this isn't about revenge, it's about protecting myself from people who have shown they can't be trusted. I ended up having to block my most of my family's phone numbers because they wouldn't stop calling and texting me trying to guilt me into reconciling with Marcus and Molly. And it's sad because I do miss some of them, like my sister and my cousins who didn't do anything wrong, but they're also invested in keeping

the family together that they can't see how toxic this whole situation has become. My therapist, who I'm still seeing through video calls, says this is pretty common in families where there's been a major betrayal, that everyone wants things to go back to normal so badly that they pressure the victim to forgive and forget instead of dealing with the actual problems. She said the fact that Marcus tracked me down after I moved away shows that he's more interested in relieving his own guilt than respecting my need for space. I know some people probably think I'm being too extreme by cutting contact with my family, but I can't keep having the same arguments over and over again with people who think I should

just get over being betrayed and assaulted because it's inconvenient for them to deal with the consequences. Maybe someday things will be different, but for now I'm happier than I've been in months, and I'm not going to apologize for choosing my own peace of mind over everyone else's comfort. I spent too many years putting other people's needs before my own, and look where it got me. So that's where things stand now, I'm living my life on my own terms and not looking back, and for the first time since this whole nightmare started I actually feel hopeful about the future. Thanks to everyone who supported me through this mess, you helped me stay strong when everyone else was trying to convince me I was wrong for

standing up for myself.