Reddit Stories - DOUBTING DNA_ Partner Demanded PATERNITY Test Despite Baby's Uncanny RESEMBLANCE_

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #paternitytest #doubt #familydrama #parentingSummary: A partner demands a paternity test despite the baby's striking resemblance, causing doubt and drama in the family. Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, paternitytest, doubt, familydrama, parenting, baby, DNA, partner, test, resemblance, drama, family, doubt, relationships, parentingBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

Partner insisted on a paternity examination for our recent edition even though the infant bears a striking resemblance to him. Following confirmation of paternity, he was eager to commemorate the news, while I found it difficult to contain my emotions. Crying. Some details changed to maintain anonymity. I'm a new mom to a baby boy who is absolutely my pride and joy. Though it's been a hard adjusting to taking care of a baby, the past few months had been great. Tiring but tiring but great. I've been trying to be the best mom I can be while also maintaining some semblance of sanity. I have a BF of three years who is the first person relationship-wise I have ever truly loved. Before him, I had a few situationships and one semi-serious relationship in college, but nothing

came close to what I feel for him. Or felt, I guess. He's always been supportive and kind, and I honestly thought we were doing great as new parents but also as partners. When we found out I was pregnant, it wasn't exactly planned. I was on birth control but got a stomach bug and, well, apparently that can make the pill less effective. You can look it up, I was scared to tell him at first, worried about how he'd react. But he seemed excited after the initial shock wore off. He came to all the appointments, helped set up the nursery, and was there for the birth. He even cried when he first held our son, which made me cry too, though to be fair, everything made me cry at that point, hormones are a bitch. He's been a good dad so far, changing diapers

and doing night feeds when I'm too exhausted to move. The normal new parent stuff. He's the one who figured out that bouncing on an exercise ball was the only thing that would get the baby to stop crying at 3 a.m. And he makes sure I eat actual food instead of just surviving on granola bars and cold coffee, which I appreciate. Friday night changed everything, though. He came home from work while I was putting away the dishes. One of the rare moments the baby was actually napping, and he just asked me for a paternity test. It was completely out of the blue. I think we should get a paternity test, he said, and I thought I misheard him at first. I actually laughed, thinking it was some weird joke. I'm a different race from him, but our child, apart from the

skin tone, is literally his mirror image from pictures I had seen of him when he was a baby. Same eyes, same nose, same chin dimple, same little cowlick at the back of the head that makes his hair stick up in the morning. His mom even pointed it out when she first saw the baby. He looks just like you did, she had said, showing me old baby pictures on her phone. It's uncanny. I was stunned when he asked and his reasons were that he had to be sure he was the father. He had to have that certainty. All I remember as he was speaking is just immediately feeling pain in my chest. Like someone had punched me right in the heart. I couldn't even form words at first. Are you serious right now? I finally managed to say. He nodded, his face completely serious.

I just need to be sure. It's important to me. The man I love doesn't trust me. He would actually believe that I would fuck someone else, cheat on him, and then try to pass off another man's baby as his. I have never ever given him reason to think I would cheat on him. I don't even have close male friends because in the past he's made comments about boundaries and relationships that made me uncomfortable. Like when my former coworker texted me happy birthday and he jokingly asked if I was having an affair. I brushed it off at the time, thinking he was just being silly, but now I wonder if there was

more to it. I have tried to be transparent and communicated and it wasn't enough. I literally share my location with him on my phone. Not because he asked, but because it made sense for safety reasons when I was pregnant and commuting to work late. But still, I have nothing to hide. He can look at my phone anytime he wants. I don't have locks on anything. Why? I asked him, once I could speak again. Why would you think I would cheat on you? Have I ever given you any reason not to trust me? He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. It's not about you specifically. It's just something every man should do to be sure. He told me he would give me time to think about this, that he wouldn't go behind my back and do this test but for our relationship to move forward, he needs to be 100% sure.

He repeated this because he, in his words, needed me to realize how serious he would. He was. He was. Then he just walked away like he hadn't just accused me of the most horrible thing. I spent the whole night crying silently in the bathroom while he slept peacefully in our bed. The next day he acted like everything was normal, playing with the baby and asking if I want to takeout for dinner. I just nodded and went through the motions, trying to process what had happened. I tried to talk to him about it again that night after we put the baby down. I don't understand where this is coming from, I said. We've been together for three years.

I've never given you any reason not to trust me. It's not about trust, he insisted. It's about certainty. It's different for men than it is for women. You know 100% that the baby is yours because it came out of you. I don't have that same guarantee. I asked him if he'd been talking to someone who put this idea in his head, or if something specific had happened to make him doubt me.

He denied it, said it was just something. he'd been thinking about. Do you realize what you're accusing me of? I asked him. You're saying you think I might have cheated on you, gotten pregnant with someone else's baby, and then lied to you about it for months. That's what you're saying. I'm not accusing you of anything, he said, getting defensive. I'm just saying I want to be 100% sure. It's a reasonable request. Is it though? Is it reasonable to suddenly question the paternity of your child who looks exactly like you, when your partner has never given you any reason to doubt them? It doesn't feel reasonable to me. It feels like a slap in the face. After thinking for a couple of days, I've decided I'm going to allow him this paternity test

because I have nothing to hide. I never cheated and would have never cheated on him. I don't even have the energy to cheat with a newborn, like when would I even have time? Between feeding the baby every two hours and trying to shower once a week, I barely have time to brush my teeth some days. I actually looked online at different types of paternity tests. There are the ones you can buy at the drugstore, but I read those aren't always accurate. Then there are the official ones done at a lab, which apparently hold up in court. I'm going to insist on the official one because if we're doing this, we're doing it right. Once it's proven that he's the father, I'm ending it, leaving the same day and I am going to

try my best to be a cooperative co-parent with him. I can't be with someone who fundamentally doesn't trust me. Who could actually think I would do something so awful? The thought of continuing this relationship just makes me feel sick to my stomach. In the meantime, I'm coming up with my exit plan, a place to live, and a lawyer to work out a custody arrangement and child support. I've started putting some money aside from my maternity leave payments and looking at apartments in my price range. I was already saving for the baby's future, but now I'm diverting some of that to a get-out fund. I've also started documenting everything. I don't think he would try to take the baby from me or anything, but better safe than sorry. I can't even tell my family or my friends right now because they would go nuclear

and my first priority is our child. My brother would probably want to punch him, and my mom would never speak to him again. My mom was cheated on by my dad when I was little, so this would especially trigger her. And my best friend, who never really liked him to begin with, would just say I told you so. I'm not ready for any of that right now. I hope the test was worth it to him because he's going to lose me in the process. I'm trying not to be dramatic about this, but I just can't see a way forward. The trust is broken. Even if I wanted to forgive him, how could I ever be sure he wouldn't accuse me of something else down the line? The worst part is, he doesn't even seem to realize how serious this is. He just keeps going about his day like normal, playing with the baby,

watching TV, suggesting we order pizza. Meanwhile, I feel like my world is crumbling around me. I'm trying to hold it together for the baby's sake, but it's hard. I'm not asking for advice or reassurance or to explain his side. I just, I'm just realizing this part of my life is now over. What a way to start the new year, huh? Anyway, has a way, has a anyone been through something similar? Update 1, we did the paternity test my BF wanted. It's been a couple of weeks since I posted and I have just been navigating things after. I'm going to call my BF, Mason, going to use fake name going forward, to keep things clear. This is going to be long, I'm sorry. Also, why post on Reddit? I don't know, guys, I don't

know. Maybe because I can't really talk to people in my real life about this without them hating him forever. Or maybe because I needed validation from strangers that I wasn't overreacting. Or maybe just because I needed to vent somewhere anonymous. Take your pick. To clarify a few things many commenters brought up. One. We're different races but to my knowledge, his family plus extended is more than okay with it. His mother actually set us up. I went to a dinner party and he and I were the only single people who had been invited and we hit it off. She admitted to trying to set us up.

So no, I don't think this is some weird racist thing like some of you suggested. His family has always been welcoming to me. His mom calls me every other day to check on the baby and me. His sister invited me to her wedding as a bridesmaid before we even got engaged, not yet. So I really don't think this is about race. 2. We have had no issues with cheating or any sister. where things could be sketchy during the years we have been together. We also haven't broken

up or taken any breaks. Our relationship has been pretty solid aside from normal arguments about household chores and what to watch on Netflix. We did go through a rough patch during my first trimester because I was so sick all the time and probably not the most pleasant person to be around. But we worked through it, and I thought we were stronger for it. 3. Our son is his mirror image. My BF confided to his cousin about the paternity test a couple of days after he asked me and the cousin told his wife and it spread like wildfire, especially in their family group chats. I wasn't included in this group chat but his sister told me apologizing for the family drama. His mom put an end to the speculation though by doing a half and half pick of him and our son, but also by adding some additional individual picks of both of them.

She posted the pictures in the family group chat and said, Look at the old picks I found of Mason. After people commented, she said, Actually the one on the right is my grandchild, or this one isn't Mason. Literally the family members just thought that it was the same person in all of the picks and that some of the photos were taken in darker lightning. That is how much our son looks like him which I find funny but also a little annoying,

like I carried you for nine months, all for you to be a copy of your dad. where are my jeans in this mix? I didn't see the group chat but the topic died down when his mom did that. I should add that his mom called me privately to apologize for the family gossip and to tell me how disappointed she was in her son. She said, I raised him better than this, which made me cry because at least someone understood how hurtful this was. Anyway, we talked. When I had made the first post, I was so angry and planned to leave but the anger was quickly replaced by hurt once I calmed down. I realized if I blindsided him like that, I would be doing the exact

same thing that he did to me when he asked for a paternity test. Plus we have a child together now, so everything is more complicated. I had to think about what was best for our son, not just what would make me feel better in the moment. I planned to ask him to talk, but I also didn't want him to think I was trying to get out of the test. So beforehand, I booked an appointment at two different paternity test locations. I asked him to talk when he came home and I made sure our child was at my moms. I told her I had a doctor's appointment, which wasn't entirely a lie since we were going to medical facilities, just not for me. I told him that whatever happened with this talk, the paternity tests had been booked and would go forward. I basically asked him his reasoning and,

when he started having doubts about paternity. Was it a previous relationship? Did cheating happen? He said it was about a week before he asked me that he started having doubts. He said that he was on his lunch break one day just reading articles and he clicked on an old article about a man who found out his three kids weren't as after like 20 years. This led him into a rabbit hole of podcasters and YouTube videos that encouraged men to ask for paternity tests. While he thought those podcasters were idiots, he said that paternity was an exception. He said his reasoning was that some women have done this before and he was,

wanted to be sure. He said, you know, it's yours because the baby comes out of you, but how do I know? The test gives me that assurance. I asked him if he actually thought I had cheated or if this was just some general male anxiety thing. He hesitated, which told me everything I needed to know. He finally said he didn't think I had cheated, but he couldn't be 100% sure, and that uncertainty was eating at him. I was hurt by that, but I decided to explain how I felt. I said, said that for him, it was a rational request while for me, it was basically him saying that he didn't trust me. It was him saying that he believed I would cheat on him, get pregnant, have him emotionally, financially, and physically support me during the pregnancy, and birth

and basically lie to him while he raised another man's child. I told him that I understand that women had done this before, but the fact that he thought I would do this to him is what bothered me. I told him the truth, that when I was angry, I had planned to leave and that I even went looking into a lawyer, a co-parenting plan, and a new place to live. He was stunned, that I would leave for something so small. I found that to be a weird, that he believed issuing an ultimatum about a paternity test and basically accusing your partner of cheating was something small. Small? I said, you think accusing me of cheating and lying to you about our child's paternity is small? What would be a big issue then? What would actually matter to you? He backtracked, saying

he didn't mean it that way, that he just didn't expect such an extreme reaction. Which made me even angrier. Was I supposed to just smile and say, sure, honey, whatever you want while he questioned my fidelity? I told him I was really hurt by what he said, that I was still hurt but that if he needs this peace of mind, that we would do it. He asked what about our relationship and I told him, I don't know if I can get past this, I said honestly. I don't know if I can be with someone who thinks so little of me. He promised he would make it up to me. Said we could go to couples counseling, that he would do whatever it took to regain my trust.

We did the test two days later, got the results back after three days. He opened both of them and to the surprise of no one, he's the dad. He was visibly relieved when he read the tests and I don't know why that hurt more. His relief just confirmed for me that he genuinely thought there was a possibility the baby wasn't his. He wanted to celebrate, suggested we go out to dinner or order in something nice. As if this was a happy occasion. I couldn't believe it. I just went to the bedroom and cried.

He followed me, confused about why I was still upset. We should be happy, he said. Now we know for sure. You know for sure, I corrected him. him. I always knew. I never had any doubt. It's been about two weeks from the results and I'm still really hurt. God, I sound so pathetic. I feel pathetic. I thought the results would maybe relieve some of that, but it didn't. It's like a switch clicked when he asked for the test and I can't find a way to click it off. I'm pretty sure postpartum is playing a part in this because all I do is

cry and I wasn't like this before. I've been trying to be a good mom despite all this. The baby is my priority. I get up with him at night. I feed him, I change him, I do all the things I'm supposed to do. But I feel like I'm going through the motions. Like I'm outside my body watching myself take care of this tiny human while my heart is breaking. I have also moved into the spare room, something he was against but I felt bad because apart from when our sun is awake, I'm sad all the time. I can't sleep next to him anymore. Every time he reaches for me in his sleep, I tense up. Every time he tries to touch me, I feel repulsed. I am looking for a therapist. I don't know how people find therapists they like so quickly. And he wants to do couples therapy

and he's looking for one. He already has a few appointments booked just to try them out. I appreciate that he's making an effort, I really do. But I don't know if it's enough. We had a big argument last night because he wanted to have sex and I just, couldn't. I don't feel any desire for him right now and when he tried to touch me, I flinched. He got upset and said I was punishing him for something reasonable. I said I wasn't trying to punish him, I just didn't feel comfortable being intimate right now. He stormed off.

This morning he apologized, said he was being insensitive and should give me time. but then he asked how much time I needed, as if there's a set timeline for getting over something like this. As if I could say, oh, give me exactly 17 more days and then I'll be fine. He wants to move on, marriage, more kids in the future and go back to where we are and thinks that our relationship is now stronger. While I'm just thinking, our relationship right now is weaker than a person on stilts. I don't know if I would say we are together. The physical affection is gone, I'm not in the right mindset and I don't want him to touch me, we rarely talk about anything but the baby, it's awkward, and I'm trying to find a way back to where we were and I can't see how.

I don't know what to do. Edit, I really appreciate the kind messages. I know some people are worried, but I have a contingency plan in place. I have a lawyer. I have gotten a child care slash custody plan worked up during these two weeks. I've told my family who are mostly close by. I have a rental property I own and can go to. Our finances are separate, so I'm good there. I know myself and I know I'm not in the right headspace right now. I'm staying in the spare room. There is no affection.

Therapy, individual or couples, will hopefully help me and will hopefully reaffirm that I had the right idea in the beginning. It's not as easy to move when there's a child. So I'm making sure that I'm mentally well, our child is good, and then I'll make a decision. Thank you, though, for all your kindness and perspectives. I really appreciate it. Update 2. I know it's been a while since my last update. A lot has happened and I've been trying to process everything. Also, my old account got locked somehow and I couldn't remember the password because I made it when I was half asleep and emotional.

So here's a new throw away. Sorry for the confusion. I left. Things have gone downhill and under advisement. I can't really discuss it until things have been settled in court. My lawyer has advised me to keep details minimal for now. But I want to give some kind of update because so many of you were supportive and kind. We tried, I really did try.

We went to a few more couples therapy sessions, and I started seeing a therapist on my own as well. The individual therapy was actually really helpful. She helped me realize that my feelings were valid and that I wasn't overreacting like. like Mason kept saying I was. In couples therapy, things seemed to be improving slightly. Mason was saying all the right things, acknowledging how much he hurt me, promising to rebuild trust. But outside of therapy, it was a different story.

He would get frustrated with me for still being hung up on this and tell me I needed to get over it already. When I tried to explain that trust isn't something you can just decide to have again, he would get defensive and say I was holding a grudge. The breaking point came when I found out he had been telling his family and friends that I was suffering from postpartum depression and that's why I was acting irrational about the paternity test. He was painting me as unstable in himself as the long-suffering, patient partner dealing with my mental issues. When I confronted him about this, he denied it at first, then admitted it but said he was just trying to explain our situation without making himself look bad. As if my mental health should be sacrificed to protect his reputation.

Mason didn't take it well when I finally told him I wanted to separate. He first begged me to stay, then got angry and said I was being unreasonable and hormonal. When that didn't work, he started telling people I was mentally unstable and shouldn't be alone with the baby. That was the last straw. There was an incident I can't really describe here, but it made it clear I needed to get out immediately. It wasn't physical, but it scared me enough that I knew I couldn't stay. I packed what I could, took the baby, and left. He's been blowing up my phone ever since, alternating between apologies and threats.

I've changed my phone number since then, and I'm only communicating with him through my lawyer or a co-parenting app that records everything. His mother has been surprisingly supportive of me, which I didn't expect. She's come to visit the baby a few times and has told me she's disappointed in her son's behavior. She's even offered to testify on my behalf if needed, though I hope it doesn't come to that. We're in the middle of custody proceedings now. It's exhausting and heartbreaking, especially since I really did love him once. I never thought we would end up here.

I still have moments where I wonder if I could have done something differently, if there was some way to save our relationship. Thank you again for your different perspectives, hoping to have everything settled eventually. Maybe I'll update again when things are finalized, but for now I need to focus on my son and rebuilding our lives.