Reddit Stories - Dramatic Revelations A Family's Stolen Wedding Gown ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 139

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #weddinggown #familydrama #dramaticreveals #stolenmemories #emotionalturmoilIn Episode 139, a family's wedding gown is stolen, leading to dramatic revelations and emotional confrontations. The over three-hour compilation explores the impact of betrayal on relationships, showcasing how secrets and lies can unravel familial bonds and alter the course of significant life events.redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, weddingdrama, familysecrets, emotionalconflict, storytelling, relationshipadvice, dramaticcompilation, stolenweddinggown, familydynamics, heartfeltmoments, lifechangingevents, emotionaljourney, conflictresolution, personalstories, truthrevealed, familybetrayalBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my spouse being unfaithful with an automobile technician, so I sabotaged a significant career chance for them and initiated divorce proceedings. We have been in a marital union for quite some time. Each other for ten years now, and for the most part, we've had a pretty sweet marriage. Sure, there have been the occasional big disputes, but I've never looked at human relationships as always being conflict-free. I am 41 years old now, and she is 37. We both never

wanted children, which is a decision we've never regretted. I've been earning six figures for all the years we've been married and my wife earns in the high five figures. There's always been a lot of money to enjoy ourselves with, though we always try to be smart financially and make good investments. Because of my work, we've moved three times, from New York where we started dating and got married, to Phoenix, and then finally to Cupertino. We've been settled in Cali for about four years now, and we probably won't move. In fact, it was when it seemed like we wouldn't be going anywhere that I decided it'd be a good time for my wife to get a new car. I bought her a brand-new Audi Q-8, and I still feel very stupid about it because that purchase was the catalyst for things

going bad. However, it exposed my wife's true nature, and for that much. I can't help but be grateful for the way that things went. Regardless, she was ecstatic with the gift and she was incredibly thankful to me. I think it was the second or third month that she had the car that a check engine light came on. Personally, I was frustrated because I felt like she must have been doing a poor job taking care of the vehicle. I've driven Audice and I love them. They certainly never started to complain on me so fast.

Regardless, she claimed she hadn't treated it any differently from all the other cars she had driven, which fair point, none of them had ever been driven or maintained like crap. So, she took the vehicle back to the dealership to get it looked at. She came back after about two hours and said that they had fixed the problem for free under warranty. Apparently, it wasn't a big deal and she seemed very happy about the development. I was glad to see how much joy the car working like normal brought her, but looking back, I now realize her happiness was probably due to something else. I think it was about a month after this that my wife scraped one of her rims against a curb while trying to park in a tight spot.

I saw it as she drove into her space in the garage that evening and she explained what had happened. However, she had taken the initiative to drive down to the dealership to try and get it replaced. I knew it would never be covered by warranty, and she confirmed that was what she was told. But then she said, the mechanic from the last time was there, and he said he could get me a replacement rim for a lot cheaper. I got his number so I can ask him more about it. To be honest, I thought she could potentially get a bargain, but I warned her to talk to me

first before paying the guy, as it could be a scam. The next day, she said she had spoken with the mechanic and she'd go to his shop to get the rim replaced. I was a bit shocked that she had moved so quickly with the arrangement, especially because I wanted to make sure things were safe. But at the same time, I took it as her enthusiasm around a new car, she didn't want anything to make it look less sexy than it was when it was brand new. I didn't voice any of my concerns because I had already made up an excuse for her remember that I had no reason to doubt my lovely wife of 10 years. So, off she went to the mechanics place. She came back about four hours later, clearly in a very good mood. The rim had been fixed,

she had done some shopping, and everything was supposedly well with the world. Again, I didn't think too much of the whole thing at this point. Through the next few months, my wife's car ran reliably and there wasn't much out of the ordinary with it. However, during that time, a point came where my car's brakes were acting up. I was already driving in the same. I was already driving in the same. I was city, and the last thing I wanted to do was drive across town to my trusted mechanic and potentially risk break failure. I remembered that my wife briefly mentioned the area where she had earlier met the Audi mechanic for the rim replacement, and since I was in the general district, I decided to give him a shot on a whim. Of course, I didn't know exactly where his shop was, so I gave my wife a

quick call. Hey, I said, quick one. My brakes are feeling soft, and it's got me a little worried. I'm a bit too far from my mechanics place and I don't want to risk it, so can you send me the address of the guy that fixed up your rim the other time? After I said this, there was a brief silence, but I could still hear the background noise so I knew she was still on the line. I noticed that the first few words of her first sentence came out in a stutter, and I was instantly on alert.

Oh. You, um, H-H-H-M. He's more familiar with Audis. You've got a B-A-B-M-W, so he might not have the expertise needed to help you out. Maybe you should risk it and try and go over to your usual guy. She was very clearly trying to steer me away from this guy, and I really don't know whether she thought she was slick with it. Unfortunately for her, I insisted, partly because I really didn't want my brakes to fail on me and because my suspicions were raised tenfold. She eventually sent the address to me, and I went through the short drive to his shop. To be honest, it was a pretty nice shop when I pulled in, and there were just two or three guys sitting at a plastic table playing cards.

When I stepped out of the car, one of them stood up and came to me, greeting me. He was a pretty handsome guy, but I wasn't sure if he was Jim or not, name not changed, because who cares about him? So, I told him about the problem with my beamer and he said he'd check it out right away. Right before he walked off to get some tools, I stopped him. By any chance, do you know a certain woman who comes here in a Q8? A black one. On hearing that, I noticed that he cracked a smile, but then he did his best to tuck it away. Ah yeah, I think that sounds familiar, she comes in every now and then.

You know her. I told him that she was my wife and that she referred me, and I swear I saw him freeze for just a second before trying to regain his composure. Oh, ah, cool. She's a good customer, she was here a week ago for a brief checkup. He shut up right away after that. At that moment, I knew something was up because she never told me she had taken the car in, and if it was having an issue, she should have taken it to the dealership since it was still new. I had to stop my fury from building since I was still only working with suspicions, as solid as I felt they might be. I needed to make sure I had solid proof before I allowed my anger to get the better of me.

The worst part is that the guy couldn't have been older than 25, and he was relatively good-looking. I never thought my wife was the kind of woman who'd get smitten over a kid for a fling. It made me even matter, but again, I had to tell myself to chill out. But I think it was right at that moment, as I had to wait there looking at the guy's mug, that I told myself I was going to get to the bottom of things. Close to an hour later, he was done with my car, and I was back on my way home. I was going a bit too fast, I'll admit, which was ironic since I was worried about my brakes and not too long before that.

Anyway, I got back home and I saw the Q8 parked, so my wife was back home. She met me at the door, and I don't know if I was imagining it or not, but she seemed shifty. She helped me with my coat, she seemed to be following me around quite a bit, and when she finally asked, how was the visit to the mechanic? It seemed like she had been itching to ask. Of course, I knew better than to try and confirm my suspicions directly, so I just told her the mechanic was a nice kid and he happened to know how to work with BMWs. She seemed relieved, which made me happy because I was fighting to keep my anger and suspicions locked up.

All I needed to do was be patient. And patient I was, because my wife is a heavy sleeper, so once she dozed off and I heard her light snoring, I got out of bed and grabbed her phone from her bedside table. It had a passcode, but I knew it since it was the same passcode she uses on everything. I had never needed to check her phone before now, so I was scared of what I was going to find. The first place I went was I message, but after scrolling a lot, I found nothing of note. That wasn't going to be the end of my search though, so the next place I went was Messenger, and right at the top, I saw a message from a certain gym, with a preview of the last message sent being, huh, me too. I loved it when you licked me father.

I knew there was nothing good waiting for me behind that preview. you, but I had to open it. My suspicions needed to be fed, as painful as I knew it was going to be. You drove me crazy with your tongue last time, I loved it so much, ha, me too. I loved it when you licked me from top to bottom. I'm getting wet just thinking of it. On reading that, I felt my heart sink in my chest. I felt cold, and I felt my hand gripped the phone even tighter. I really can't describe the emotions I felt. at that moment, but it was some combination of betrayal, heartbreak, and pure undiluted pain. Yet, I kept reading. I had to know everything. I had to know when it started, what they had

done, when they had done it, and so on. My curiosity carried me all the way to the top of their conversations with each other, and everyone, all I can say is that I've never felt such deep pain before. Ever. I put her phone back on the bedside table. removing any evidence that I was ever there. But I remember standing in the dark of the room and just staring at her. I won't lie, the hurt I felt in that moment drove me to some really messed up thoughts as I looked at her. I must have stood there for five minutes, but in the end, I went back to my side of the bed and stared at the ceiling. I didn't sleep a wink and I just went over every single thing I had read over again.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I remembered. They had sex at least twice and they did it once in the back room of his workplace, so sleazy for a supposedly high-class woman and once in some kind of hotel or motel. There didn't seem to be much remorse and there was mention of next time. To be honest, it took the strength of Hercules to stop me from flipping out in the middle of the night. The thing is, I called in sick after she left for work the morning after because I really couldn't concentrate in the state I was in. However, this is another day after and I've called in sick again. I won't say that I'm completely all right, but I think I've placed my anger to one side and I'm focused on making her pay, because how can you throw all of this away for a cheap fling? I'm not looking to do anything illegal, because she's not worth that anymore, but how do you guys think I can get back at her?

I'm not going to cheat back, because it literally won't fix anything. I need her to feel the kind of pain I'm feeling right now because imagine the car I bought her as a gift being the reason why she eventually cheated on me. Like I said, if you've got advice, let me know what you think. I can barely think straight. Edit 1, yes, it goes without saying that I'm going to get divorced because I cannot stay with a cheating hoe, whether we've been married for 10 years or not. The guy looks young enough to be my kid, and something about that is just disgusting. to me. Edit 2, no, I will not let it go. If I was going to, I wouldn't be here. No again, I will not cheat back and throw it in her face. I want to hurt her in a more lasting way,

and that's what I'm trying to figure out. I did see a suggestion about sabotaging her at work, and the truth is that might work out if I can be patient. I don't know if I can, to be honest, but I'll try to wait for the right opportunity. Edit 3, so, everyone, I think I've come up with the perfect plan to get back at my wife. I'm sorry for taking so long to update you, but I think my patience will pay off for me, and all of you, in the end. I would divulge the details here, but I think it'll be better to update you guys when I've carried things out.

Update 1, first off, I'm so sorry for making you all wait, but my goodness, it will be worth it, trust me. I had to wait about ten days before I could do anything. My wife has a very important business meeting that she has been preparing for. A tech company is about to move offices and she is the lead on closing a supply deal for her company. In a stroke of genius, if I do say so myself, I figured out the perfect way to get back at her. Poetic justice, but we'll get to that soon. She has spent a lot of time fretting about this big deal she needs to close and I eventually got involved in helping her prepare for it. I was there playing the role of the tech company's rep, asking questions, giving her tips, and so on. Tonight is the night before the

meeting and there was a lot of intense preparation and she feels very confident. She thanked me so much and I was so irritated each time she repeated it, but I had to force a smile through it all. Just so you know, I checked her phone again a few days ago, and yes, they met up another time. I needed that to refuel me because I was already starting to wonder whether I was doing too much. Anyway, I shooed her off to sleep, because a good night's rest is essential for big meetings or exams, kids. Once I heard her soft snoring, I knew it was time for me to move. I went straight to the garage and towards her car, popping open the driver's side door. In case you don't know, the battery for the Q8 is under the driver's floorboard, but I know this and I went straight for it, disconnecting the terminals.

Besides that, I put everything right back the way I found it and attempted to start the vehicle, risky, I know, but our garage is insulated well enough to absorb most of the sound. When it didn't make a sound, I knew I was good to go. I wasn't done yet though, oh no. Next up, I went to my own car and deflated one tire by a lot. It was clear to me that once she couldn't get her car started, she'd begged to take mine because of how important her meeting was. I could Uber to work or something, after all. Like I said, she sleeps heavily, and I pretty much always wake up before her.

So, I grabbed her phone from her bedside table and I've turned off the alarm she has for 6.30. I know that I will probably sleep like a baby tonight, even with my cheating wife beside me. I feel like Dr. Frankenstein waiting to watch his creation come to life. I'm sitting in bed right now, bubbling with excitement, and I decided to let you guys know what I'm planning for. Just wish me luck that everything goes according to plan. Update 2. Hello gentlemen. Do I have some amazing news for you? As expected, I woke up before her at 6.45, and I turned her alarm back on. Her meeting was scheduled for 8 a.m. and I eventually woke her up at 7.10, with a fake panic in my voice. Honey, wake up, wake up. Your alarm didn't go off.

She ran straight to the bathroom and I heard the tap go on right away. Yep, during that time, I was looking for ways I could delay her even further. That's how invested I was in her downfall at this point, because I've never been a bad-looking dude and I could have slept with countless girls over the years, but I didn't because I thought marriage meant something. Apparently not. It was 7.55 by the time my wife had brushed her teeth, showered, picked out an outfit, done her makeup and had a quick cup of coffee. No, I didn't start the machine for her like I usually do.

I heard her get into her car in the garage and closed the door, and I waited to hear if the car would magically turn on, but of course, it didn't. She shouted from the garage after about two minutes, and I walked over to where she was. What's up with your car? I put on my best concerned look. Hop the hood, let me take a quick look for you.

you. She did just that, and I looked around, checked the oil, tapped a few things, and asked her to try again. I did this for another five minutes. My aimless actions changed nothing, of course. Maybe it's the battery, I said. It's not even attempting to turn on, so probably the battery, but I can't figure out where it is in the engine bay. She was barely listening to me, because she was fretting. I thought I could see her eyes watering. She knew what was on the line and I felt the greatest sense of Schadenfreude any man has ever felt in that moment. It took her a while, it was 8.15, before she said, let me take your car. She ran inside to get my key before I could even respond in the affirmative. It would take her about 20 minutes to get to work now since she hadn't beaten the work time rush.

As she ran out, I had to shout at her, wait, I have a flat. Hold on. She looked like she was going to rip her hair out. She rushed to my trunk and brought out the portable pump I use, setting it up herself. It took a few minutes before it was fully inflated. She packed up the pump, tossed it in the back seat, and got into the car. I was hoping to drag things out a bit more, but she had taken care of things herself. My job was done and I watched as she drove off, a bit too fast. At that moment, I did hope she wouldn't get into an accident, but that was where my concern ended. I went back inside and logged into work for my laptop. I knew it was going to be a waiting game at that point and I had things to do. I decided to make it a remote work day since I could use my wife taking my car as an excuse. My bosses love me, so that wasn't too much of an ask from them. It felt like forever though.

I kept trying to keep my mind off whether my revenge plot was working the way I wanted it to, but it was hard. It was so hard to concentrate, but I did my best. In that time, I decided to plug her battery back in to cover my tracks. And then, almost two hours later, I heard my car pull up into the garage. I had to remind myself to put on my game face. As she entered, I beamed and said, I just know you cry. crushed it. You're my superstar. But I could see she had been crying. Don't smile, don't smile. I had to keep telling myself that, and every time I felt a drop of sympathy trickling in,

I reminded myself that she had let this guy climb on top of her more than once. She had no remorse, neither could I. What's wrong, honey? As I said that, she burst into tears. She was mostly unintelligible through all the snot and tears, but I got the gist of what she said. My friends, listen up. The best case scenario. It worked. Everything worked the way I wanted it to. She got to work way late, and the lady she was always complaining about at work had to take the mantle.

My genius didn't predict this outcome, of course, and was commended for stepping up despite the pressure. Unsurprisingly, the entire presentation was a train wreck, all because my wife let them down on the most important of days. The biggest potential account the company could have had went down the toilet like a turd, and it was all my wife's fault. Yep, she was let go as soon as the tech company's rep stepped out of the building. For someone who had worked for them well, that was harsh, but so was losing the company millions of dollars.

She told me through sniffling and wailing that people were whispering and snarling, at her as she walked out of the office. The most embarrassing kind of termination. She had let down the entire company. All because of that stupid car, I said. I'll have to give that mechanic a piece of my mind because it seems he must have done a pretty crappy job the last time you took the car to him. This is all his fault.

I noticed that her sniffling quieted down and I could almost hear her brain processing whether her darling Jim, her sin, was the direct reason why this is. happened. I kept going, man, that mechanic. This entire thing was because of him. That was a little hint for her, but I didn't really care whether she caught it or not. She spent the night drinking and I told her I had a headache, so I went upstairs to sleep. I wasn't sleeping though. I was making arrangements with my lawyer to get the papers for divorce ready. I had to put up with her whining for a few days more before I serve her. I will never forget her face at that moment, though. At my lowest moment, there were tears streaming down her cheeks. She was hysterical.

Why would you do this to me now? What did I do to you to deserve this? I don't know, but maybe you can ask your sweet Jimmy boy. I'm sure he'll have an answer for you. Tell him to check out your car while he's at it. Can't have you losing your job again, now can we? I've never seen her look so shocked. She looked like a deer caught in headlights and she was literally speechless. I couldn't help it, and I actually laughed in her face right there. I was sick and tired of her at this point. Hack your things and find somewhere else to go. I'll give you some hours, and from there, I took off. I drove around town, trying to make sense of my emotions. I'll admit that there was a blend of sadness, joy, relief, and pain,

but there was definitely no regret. By the time I got back, it was dark, and she was gone. It's been two weeks since then and she hasn't come back. My emotions were very complex, otherwise, would have updated all of you earlier. But things are over. There are no kids to worry about and I already told her parents everything, so I know they won't come to join her to grovel. I feel good though, like a cancer has been cut out of my life. It took some healthy flesh with it, but it is honestly for the better. I'm not too old, so I have a lot of life ahead of me. About Jim, I considered finding a way to punish him for his role in all of this, but he's pretty much just a kid and my wife was the cougar in this situation. I think I'll let him

off the hook, but I might change my mind. If I do, I'll let you guys know, but for now, that's it. I really appreciate all of your comments and support through this. Just remember guys, it's never going to be worth staying with a cheating partner. I hope you enjoy this story. Following half a decade of matrimony, I stumbled upon my spouse's playful images and hidden liaison with a law enforcement officer, whom she had known since her teenage years. I, a male individual aged 35, and my spouse, a female aged 34, have recently participated in an engagement. A parent emotional affair for three to four months until she got caught, and I'm looking for some advice. We have been married for six years, together for eight.

D-Day was seven days ago. How I found out, I got a new bank card and forgot to to update our wireless slash cellular provider payment. After updating with a new card, something compelled me to check the call logs of her phone. She had been distant slash off and texting late night, and I didn't feel like checking her cell phone slash feeling like a jealous husband, but maybe the call logs would be a good weatherstone to check if anything was wrong. What I saw just raised some alarms, the minutes of conversation with this phone number was greatly larger than any other number combined.

She was also calling him late at night slash early in the morning when she was away from home visiting her parents. She was also calling him during her workday, one day she was on the phone with him for three to four hours. I did a reverse phone number search and found that this one particular person was a good friend of hers from a long time ago. After confronting her with this and wanting to know what was going on, her initial story was that he was just a friend, has a stressful job, and needed support, he is a police officer, and she greatly respects and is interested in law enforcement in general, almost going to the academy herself. After I asked if she felt that there were any boundaries being broken here, she replied with no. But then changed her story. I asked her to tell me the complete story, and that I was a man and could take it. But if she downplayed, lied, or omitted,

that would not be great as we would be stepping over the course of the next three to five iterations of the story. It has changed from being a good friend to someone who needed support. Harmlessly flirting over text. Sharing and I love you over text message. Digital flirty messages over text and telling fantasies. With her just listening. Sharing semi-bare pictures over text message. Picture of her in inners in a sexy pose. My wife and him planning on her leaving me and moving in with him. They never met physically to hook up, however he did bring her coffee at her workplace, and they did meet at a gas station. During her self-disclosure, she constantly downplayed by using the It Just Happened, I had no intention of this getting this far, and it was stupid. She also tried to deflect and lay blame, accusing me of cheating slash having a relationship with someone online, not true, although I did watch pornography.

Unfortunately, she has chosen to delete all text messages so there is not. no proof. She tried to restore the messages but they were not being saved into iCloud. She is working on writing down a timeline of what has happened. I asked her if she loved this man and she said she did not, it was an escapist fantasy. They talked about how I was emotionally unavailable and that I would rather be watching movies slash in front of a computer screen instead of spending time with my wife. I have been suffering from depression for a while and feel like this is an unhealthy behavior on my part. I was also withdrawn and snappy with my wife.

When I went to leave to gain some space slash time to think, my wife physically confronted me and did not let me leave to clear my head. She then proceeded to threaten to slaughter herself, taking a loaded gun and pointing it to her head. She said that she didn't want to live a life without me, and that I would get everything in the divorce if she slaughtered herself. I called her father before I left for work that day, saying that I was worried about her physical safety, and that I don't think me calling off work to deal with it would be appropriate, considering it would be like throwing fuel into a fire. We had dinner and his take on it is that we should move and just reset by renewing our vows, wiping the entire slate clean.

When he left, she then drafted some Melange notes to me and her family members, not going into particulars, but saying that she was at fault. The wise she provided, she needed to feel validated and beautiful, and I was not providing that. She also wanted to be listened to and heard, I believe that I have been emotionally detached, and I own that. I do want to believe her, that it may not have been physical, but I don't think I will never know for sure. I reached out to the AP via text message and said that I was not angry at him. I didn't marry him, I married my wife. He has since blocked my wife from calling slash texting. She tried to reach him while I was in the room on speakerphone.

I am interested in getting his side of the story, as there are no text messages to confirm. Since then, my wife has been bargaining slash wanting me to sleep in the same room with her. She has been initiating SEGs and truth be told, it is amazing. We've done things we have never done before in six years of marriage. However, part of me is feeling like I'm not getting the full story. I wish she had told me everything up front, and I still have a nagging feeling that I still do not know everything. My worst fear, this is all theatrics and smokescreen, and I still don't know the full story because she has consistently lied slash omitted some things that she felt would hurt me to hear. Any new discovery, if I plan on reconciling, would be a fresh wound and start back at stage zero, as my trust in her has completely vanished.

I don't want to be an amateur, NSA agent tracking down my wife to keep her honest. Any impartial third-party advice would be helpful, I know that in some part, my actions may have driven her to this result. Update 1. I've arranged for the firearms to be stored off promises until this thing to escalates. I will be doing this when she is out of the house, so today during her work shift. We had some talks, she is willing to take a polygraph and she swears it was never full. physical. She acknowledges that what she shared and talked about was wrong. Her timeline of events, one, they went to the same HS together and used to work together. They used to talk somewhat frequently, but never about romance slash segs. He has always had a thing for her apparently.

She never found him attractive, but respected him a lot because of what he ended up doing professionally and seems to be in love with the idea of a cop. I apparently met him once, he's extremely short and not as attractive. 2. Meeting 1 at the gas station. This took place before they ever started this engagement slash talking, and they caught up. This is what sparked the affair taking place. 3. They shared their first I Love You when he mentioned how bad of a day he was having, how difficult his job was, and how he was thinking about destroying himself.

He said it first. 4. She increasingly called him, looking at the logs, she was calling him for two to three hours during her workday. Also calling on the weekends slash evenings. Five, they had gradually began increasing their call volume slash texting volume over time. He would spout crap like wanting to see her bear, wanting to give her a BJ with glasses, wanting to bend her over the police cruiser. Her words are that she didn't participate as much, but also didn't stop it.

6. She sent him pictures of herself, some random photos fully clothed, a couple of photos from her family's house where she was helping deal with her recently deceased grandmother's belongings and babysitting our nephew. She sent pictures of our nephew to him. One day when he was having a bad day, she sent a picture of her shirt pushed up and her inner showing to him to cheer him up. 7. Meeting 2. He met at her workplace to bring her coffee. 8. The final contact with him is he knows, and we need to end this. She is saying that it never got physical, and that she had no desire to get to that point. For my POV, there is no way of knowing. She still hasn't finished writing the timeline, but it is already six pages longhand. I've come to accept that I may never know, and that I have to prepare myself for that, and for in the future if she decides to do this again. I think we had a mini breakthrough today, when after a long day yesterday,

I had neglected to put my laundry in the basket, instead laid it on the floor besides the bed. She was extremely snappy with me, and I said I'm sorry, but there are 1,000 ways you could have brought that up. Why did you choose to escalate that badly over laundry? I discussed with her that maybe this is why I had the habit of hiding out in the man cave. Over the last year or so, lot of these little interactions have probably caused me to be avoidant because they are not positive interactions. She paused to think, and I think a light bulb came on. She still will not let me leave or have space. I've been trying to sleep in separate rooms because, one, she's ovulating in two. I need time to process these emotions, events, and plan. I am not

making any rash decisions in the next 30 days, and I am preparing myself for the worst. We have some scheduled therapist appointments. One thing about being a BS, how best to handle the plans we had before D-Day. One, our anniversary is coming up in a week or two. I had scheduled a fancy night out with my wife. Still good to go. Two, her birthday is also coming up very soon and I had made plans slash gifts. Three, she has a camping trip planned with her family and she wants me to go.

4. We have family vacation, her family, coming up. Is it wise to go, or would I feel like I'd be sold a crap sandwich during this time? I want to leave the door to reconciliation open, but also want to protect myself right now. At this moment, I feel like I'm carrying the burden by arranging the weapons to be stored off-site and caring about my wife's mental well-being. I don't want to do anything rash until she gets the help she needs. Update 2. I ordered the Not Just Friends book. She has agreed to not contact him.

She ended it with a phone call saying that it is over. He is also blocking her, I don't know why. She agreed to tell me immediately if he reaches out or shows up at her workplace. We're still in the process of this, she is still putting the timeline together. She is focusing on the content of the messages and phone messages. conversations, but not the meaning behind them slash where her headspace is. I know I was getting complacent, I also harbored some resentment with her running up credit card debts earlier in the marriage without telling me. To this end, I was becoming emotionally

unavailable and pursuing some not-so-healthy habits. I felt like we were not going in the same direction, and instead of having those difficult conversations, I chose to isolate myself or distract myself with work, video games, YouTube, and crap. At the end of the day, I still don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm committed to not making any major decisions in the near term. My wife is undergoing intensive outpatient therapy, so I feel like my decision may be delayed. My priorities now are my wife's health and safety, as well as my own, and figuring out what I want to do, observing my wife's behavior, and finding out what this other relationship meant to her and whether she genuinely wants to reconcile. Or is too afraid to separate? Update 3, she has read the book about not just friends, and even completed more modules than I have on the Seven Day Affair Recovery Boot Camp, where they discuss how important it is to disclose everything that happened.

Her version of the story is that she felt alone in the marriage and it was nice that someone listened to her, and that she got sucked into the emotional talks because she did not have the proper boundaries in place. We celebrated her B-Day with a small celebration. I had already bought her a present. She decided not to go camping, she wanted to be physically present while we were talking through things, going through the boot camp, and reading the not-just friend's book. We did go out for our anniversary because the food is excellent and reservations are hard to come by. She suggested going to Victoria's secret for me to pick something sexy out for her, but I declined. It was very bittersweet. I feel heavily conflicted, and I wonder if this is normal.

At one end, I still love her and do want to work things through. Sometimes it seems like she is making a genuine effort in building back the trust. However, there are little happenstances where I ask for her phone and there is some resistance to her surrendering it. Invasive thoughts about her actually not cutting off contact with the AP. When I had looked through her phone, I noticed that she had Instagram and was still friends with the AP, and reached out to talk. She did this without informing me about it. AP has remained silent, or so it seems, so I don't think I'm getting any information from him. Even if I did, I wonder if he would be honest slash truthful about the matter, as he has a lot to lose in this.

Part of me wants to pack up and leave, and go through the divorce process. I feel unattractive to my wife, and I don't want to go through with a marriage where this happens again. She attests that it will not, but I feel like I don't know everything that happened. Nor do I understand what caused my wife to pursue this AP like a puppy dog. She asserts it was one-sided and they mainly talked about work and life in general, but the call logs show her calling him a lot. Is it normal for the BS to be somewhat ambivalent? What are things I can do, too? Get assurance that this won't happen again with this AP or a year slash two down the road.

Forgive my wife so that I can move on from this. I feel like she hasn't had a taste of consequences, in fact it seems that I am becoming a better husband to her, which is good overall, I think. Is this a common stumbling block where the BS just has to eat it? How do I determine if this is true remorse? Update 4 One thing that was concerning me, and I don't know if I am justified in thinking this, but I want to know the content of those messages. I've tried various recovery software and it seems like there is no way to recover if the phone was reset from an iCloud backup.

She freaks out every time I try and becomes apprehensive when I attempt to recover them, even though they fail. I think it could be that it progressed further than her letting on, they physically met upslash at SEGS multiple times. She was more passionate than leading on, sending more photos slash vids. She said disparaging things about me slash our marriage that she doesn't want me to see. Still in contact. Neither of these options are good. I think she's just beginning to realize the pain. For instance, when I get angry or flooded, I try to take some time away, and I say that I'm taking some time to cool off.

She is big on physical touch, so she reaches. out to hold my hand, rub the back of my head, or hug during these moments. She does ask what she can do to help, so I think we're both just figuring out what that looks like. Her story was that she wanted to reach out to see if he had time to talk with me and send the message logs that they both shared. I had discussed this with her prior, and even reached out to the AP directly, but AP was non-responsive. She texted slash called him in front of me, but didn't do the IG chat in front of me, as I didn't know they were IG friends at the time. I've been adjusting to the changes and working with my individual counselor, as well as seeing our marriage counselor regularly,

not without some hiccups. We went on the planned vacation, but sometimes I felt like such a chump. I feel like I'm betraying myself slash my integrity, but we did have some good times. Sometimes I look back in spiral, it was so bad one day that I wanted to book a flight and leave mid-vacation. What the hell am I doing? This person two months ago was texting slash calling another man daily, participating in segual texts, sending photographs, and lied about the entire thing until I dragged it out of her. And here we are going on vacation together like nothing happened. She has allowed me access to her computer and phone on demand. She has installed the Life 360 app, so we know where each other are at all times.

However, at the end of the day, I understand that if she wanted to cheat, she could still do so, as there are ways around these methods. We are still living together, sleeping in the same room, having segs frequently, it's hard to complain if you're getting laid regularly, but this could be a manipulative tactic to distract slash make me shut up. We are slowly working on reconnecting, and we are planning days. events together. Sometimes I feel like I did when I first dated her, and I'm extremely hopeful about the future as our relationship was not meeting either of our needs, and other times I feel like I'm living in a house where the roof can cave in at any moment, wondering why she chose

to have an emotional affair. And whether there is more that she is not telling me. Over some time, our conversations have been less intense emotion-fueled outbursts, and more about connecting, communicating and understanding. However, during one of our conversations turned away, I told her that I do sometimes feel like I didn't take time for myself to process the entire thing. She did not allow me that space. She made a comment that if I left, she would get the weapons back and that there is no life for me without you. She has been seeing a therapist and on medication for about 1.5 months now,

but I need to figure out if this is control, or if she legitimately needs help. I will bring this up during our next MC session. As for myself, we went on a vacation where I was allowed to take some personal me time. I've been focusing on work and professional activities, and been getting more active physically. Tons of chlorine is well around the house to keep the intrusive thoughts away. Sometimes I don't feel like doing much of anything, probably the depression stage of grief. I indulge in that feeling sometimes and sit in it, and other times I try to keep busy. I do wish she took a more active role in recovery slash reconciliation.

She has been researching books, she read not just friends, but mostly she wants to spend her time with me, part of me thinks she is worried that I will leave her, and part of me thinks that she is too reliant on me for her happiness. At the end of the day, I do not yet trust her. I do still love her, but at times I feel like putting in the effort to go on date nights is half-hearted on my side. Maybe I'm not entirely invested because I'm still processing this on my end, and feel like the relationship is still not yet safe slash secure, but I'm giving it my best shot. Maybe it's my actions not being in sync with my emotions of being betrayed slash lied too.

I take ownership of the things I have done that contributed to the marriage not being so great, and I'm hopeful that whatever direction we ultimately go, I will either be a better partner for my wife, or be better at being a partner to someone else. If I walk away, I know it won't be because I didn't try. One interesting note, she mentioned that she did not approve or think me posting on Reddit was a healthy way to tackle this. There could be some truth to that as well, but I know I've gotten a lot of support here. Update 5, it's okay for now.

We did couples therapy for about 10 sessions, but it got to the point where it was stabilizing the marriage. We had to go through about two to three counselors to get a good one that actually understood the impact of the infidelity, instead of pushing the blame back on me for the infidelity and trying to fix me. We go out on dates, I have full access to her location slash phone data. She doesn't blame me anymore for what happened, but instead says how sorry she is. I am proud of her for going through therapy individually. She discovered through therapy that her mother is a narc. through that she was able to identify that her need of constant validation and fear of not being validated

came from other people, constantly trying to please others, and effectively making others responsible for her happiness. When I wasn't making her happy, she decided to try to get this validation from others. That's my theory for now. This is impossible for anyone to fulfill, nobody can be responsible for others' happiness. I'm proud of her for reading the book slash doing the work to identify some issues that were programmed from her childhood. It's hard to take a critical look at yourself and those closest to you and identify how their behavior can hurt. I still have this lingering feeling of mistrust, I haven't fully recovered from this. I'm trying is all I can say. I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling rescued me from my guardian's scheme to turn me into

a youthful mother to my nieces while abandoning my university studies, but presently he's grappling with melancholy due to our relatives. Disowned us both. Hi, I, 20F, am currently in my fourth semester of college. The fact that I am able to go to college is largely thanks to my brother Mike, 27M. This resulted in us both being estranged from family, and the reason for this post is that I need to help him with his resulting depression and isolation. Some backstory, we come from a patriarchal, conservative Christian background, although we didn't really practice. But everything was always in the Obey Your Parents vibe. My parents, both 43, are the oldest siblings in their families.

My father's family, parents, two brothers, one sister, all live within 20 minutes of my parents' home. All aunts slash uncles are married and I have eight cousins on that side. My mother's family is originally from here as well but has all since left the area. Grandparents moved to a retirement community in Oz several years ago. Uncle is career military currently stationed eyed queer, aunt, K, moved to Oz after graduating college for her career. We are from a Midwest U.S. state and are Caucasian. This whole fiasco started when my older sister Lisa, 22F, was in college back in spring of 2020. Right before COVID shut down her college that March, she got pregnant after a party, she didn't know until

after she was back home. In fall 2020, my senior year of high school, I started my college application process while my pregnant sister lived at home. Mike had finished school several years prior and had started his career about 90 minutes away from our hometown. Lisa gave birth to twins a few days after Thanksgiving 2020. In January 2021 I received my early acceptance to my dream school, nothing like Harvard but a highly rated public ivy in my state. I had also gotten enough of a scholarship to cover the tuition, but not room slash board. Obviously I was ecstatic. Unfortunately that was about to come crashing down. In May 2021, my parents told me that I could not go to school and that I needed to stay home

to raise my nieces while my sister went back to school since she needed to support her kids and thus needed a better education. Much screaming ensued, with my father eventually telling me that his decision was final and that was that. Well, Mike learned what happened, called me and said, yeah, that's not happening and we made plans. I would like to take a moment to give a shout out to the the Reddit posts back in early 2021 that discussed the steps to take in things slash docks to gather in order to successfully leave home for good. And that's what we did. We had discussed

plans a few times when he visited and took me out to lunch, and one day that July I had my essentials all packed, left a letter for our parents and after lunch we just went back to his apartment. As you can imagine, the fallout was explosive. Starting with angry calls and texts and led to us both being disowned by the family for being disloyal. Mike had predicted this and we were both prepared for it so it wasn't a surprise. Anyway, that August he paid my remaining school balance and dropped me off at my dorm and I have been living and studying here since then. He has continued to pay my room slash board and whatever else scholarships didn't cover

ever since. I cannot thank him enough for what he has done for me. Since then, we have had pretty much no contact with our parents, sister, and all aunts slash uncles and grandparents on dad's side. I am still in contact with two cousins, F-19, F-17, who support me and think we made the right decision. We do have contact with Mom's side, and have both flown out to Oz the last two holiday seasons to spend with them. This past holiday is when Aunt Kay K first talked to me about her concerns for Mike that she noticed. They are very close, she is only three years older than him and we all grew up together in our grandparents' house.

So they are like siblings and I guess she picked up on some things that were off. The issue I need help with, Aunt Kay and I have noticed him seemingly becoming more depressed and isolated and this is what I am hoping for some help and helping him. Mike is somewhat introverted and has always had a very small social circle and a lot of his social outlet was with our extended paternal family. There were family BBQs very often, especially during football season when it was pretty much weekly. throw in holidays, birthdays, etc. There were probably two big family events a month minimum.

Mike was able to attend most of those and he always tried to hang out with my dad and uncles even though they always acted lukewarm to him. With that now gone for the past 18 months, he hasn't really had that outlet. So please read it, any advice would be appreciated. He gave me my life back and I need to find a way to do the same for him. Thank you all. Update 1, hi, I just wanted to post a quick update to what I posted last week. I say quick, but it's probably going to be long, so apologies in advance just trying to get

everything out of my head. Mike came down here on Saturday as planned. I had spoken to my Aunt Kay before this and she thinks if I'd gently ask direct questions and probe that he would answer. So that was my plan. My roommates knew the situation and what I was planning to do and they were understanding and agreed to give us the app to ourselves for the after-dust. After he arrived and we ate, I just straight up said to him that Aunt Kay and I had noticed

some changes to his behavior and that he seemed really down. He looked at me for a bit and then slowly nodded and agreed. I took this as a good sign that he would be open and honest with me. I said that I wanted to help him and to please be open and talk to me and that I wouldn't judge him for anything. He said, okay. Then I pulled out my laptop and mentioned that I had made a post to Reddit about him and he gave me a very confused look. I sat down next to him and asked him to just read it and we can talk

about it. Well, he basically broke down with his head and his hands after reading the title. So yeah, I guess it was pretty accurate. I just held him and said that we would talk whenever he was ready. After a few minutes he was able to collect himself and we went through the whole post together. Then we started reading the comments one at a time and talking about each one. He took all of the comments and suggestions to heart and we talked about how he can go about putting himself out there more, both dating and trying to make new friends. In typical nerd fashion, he even broke all of the ideas down in categories, outdoor, indoor, online, and is willing to give pretty much anything a try. The city he lives in isn't huge, but a quick look through its sub on here found a few things so the

opportunity is there. He seemed a little embarrassed, in a good way, about all of the praise he was getting. I knew he would be but I just told him that other people see him for the wonderful brother that he is. There were a couple comments that mentioned suicide or drug abuse that I really pressed him on. He promised he wasn't doing drugs or drinking excessively. In all of the times I was at his place he never had more than a six-pack of Guinness or some craft beer. This is something I am definitely going to keep on him about since I don't want him to drink his pain away. He said while he never really thought about actually hurting himself, He said he sometimes feels lost and has dark thoughts that can really mess up his mood and that he was

struggling and very frustrated with himself at times. He said that he often can't even look at himself in a mirror because he is embarrassed at where he is in his life, outside of work, compared to his friends. Really just that his closest friends have all moved on to the next phase of their lives and is stuck and feels left behind and not able to move forward. He is scared that he is going to turn into one of those people that have their own dedicated sub on here. He often just drives around the city after work for hours because he doesn't want to go home and every once in a while he said he has gone to bed with the thought that he didn't really

care if he woke up or not. All of this scared me and broke my heart. He agreed that this isn't healthy, massive understatement to say the least, and that he needs to seek some professional help soon. We talked about his social life after college. He said that for the first couple years he and his closest friends and soes would meet a few times a week and travel somewhere together every few months. He separated from his GF of four years in 2019. He and his friends still met up after the lockdown started in 2020, but it became less and less frequent as the friends were becoming more involved with their soes and later kids. Eventually they were meeting once a month or less. Mike recognized this but said he had a hard time meeting new people to go out with or finding

people who were looking to make new friends as opposed to just chit-chatting while they did whatever activity they were doing. He said he found it very hard to break into existing friend groups and has some acquaintances but not really anyone who he feels close to. At the same time, he was going to more and more family functions just to fill a void and be social around people, and doad on our nieces after they were born. After that was gone, he felt completely lost and spiraled down but didn't know how to communicate how he felt until I forced the issue. It was mentioned that I should not try to keep defending my parents and I agree. What they wanted to do was inexcusable and unforgivable. I asked Mike if he would ever consider reconciling with the family if they

reached out. He said Lisa, yes, Mom maybe, everyone else can fuck off. I was a little surprised and asked why and he said that they basically told him what they really thought of him and his life and interests. He pulled out his phone and showed me the old texts from when I left. Multiple messages from our father calling him a disgrace, disowning him, demanding he return me to them, WTF. I am not property. Calling him the mastermind of this plot to destroy the family and all sorts of other vile stuff. One uncle mocking his manliness for doing things like reading, he likes to read fantasy stuff, as well as his career, engineer, as something not manly enough. One aunt that threatened to cut his balls off as they are the source of attitude and disobedience,

another uncle that threatened to beat the shit out of him if he saw him again, I think Mike would wipe the floor with any one of them. More of the same from grandparents, dad's parents, and some other adults on that side. I had received some nasty messages, just not the threats, and was a little shocked overall, but he just had a little smirk. When I gave him a questioning look, he just said that it's good to know how people really feel and where you stand with them. When I asked about Mom,

he showed me her last few messages to him. I was expecting more of the same, but it was much different and I am not sure what to make of it. She said your father needs you to bring her back right now. Mike, I can't do that. You know if I do,

she will never be able to get out. Mom, I know. Please take care of her. I love you both. Mike, I will. I love you too, Mom. NGL, I cried after that for a bit. So yeah, it turns out that my dad's whole family is a lot more toxic and despicable than I thought.

I still can't figure out mom's reaction, though I asked him point-blank if he wanted me to take out a loan to cover my expenses for the rest of my time at school, and he rejected that immediately. I said that I didn't want him going into debt from me, and he said that he wasn't. He pulled up his account and showed me the transaction last month from his savings account to my school as proof. He said that he wanted me to be able to finish school debt free like he did since it takes so much pressure off. Most of his friends have $40,000 plus in debt so even though there is currently a payment pause eventually that will come due. I asked him how he was able to do that and he said he got merit scholarships plus

several grants that covered all but about $2,000 per semester, which he could cover himself and he worked to always have enough money for the difference. We grew up low income, not exactly poverty, but definitely at the low end of the middle class. I would have been eligible for need-based aid as well, but my parents refused to fill out the forms so I wasn't able to get the grants or regular student loans and they wouldn't co-sign a private loan. This is how they were going to force me to stay. When Mike found out, he did the math and figured out that as long as I was able to keep my scholarship to cover tuition, he would be able to cover the rest. It comes out to about $7,000 a semester that he is covering. I am more

comfortable knowing that he isn't going into debt for me and I am definitely making sure I keep my GPA well above the level needed to keep my scholarships. He told me to not worry about the money and to just focus on doing my best. I also found out that he is still sending money every month to our sister, something I knew he did before but didn't realize he was still doing. His response, a shrug and a comment that he was pretty sure the kids aren't eating less. We ended up talking a lot longer than I realized and my roommates came back around seven and asked if we wanted to get some dinner. I asked Mike if he wanted to stay and keep talking and he said yes. We ordered some pizza and the six of us, us plus my three roommates and one BF, sat in our

living room to eat. I could tell this was probably Mike's worst case scenario of being in a group of friends but not really knowing anyone other than me. His body language showed he was uncomfortable and guarded, body tense, head down, shoulders hunched forward. But my friend Nikki made sure to keep him engaged in the convo and after 10 to 15 minutes Mike visibly relaxed. He sat back and looked relaxed and was much more forthcoming. I was so happy for him and thought that maybe he is just someone who needs a little more time to really become comfortable enough before opening up and talking freely with new people. He ended up crashing on our couch that night. Sunday morning he took me to breakfast to talk some more before he dropped me off at work.

We had a long hug and he thanked me for recognizing that he needed help and that reading the comments and talking about how he felt and coming up with some ideas and plans made him feel better than he had in a long time. I told him that I love him and I am there for him always and reminded him that we are a team in this. After work I called Aunt Kay and we talked about everything. She was happy that I was able to get him to open up and understood that it was probably hard for him to ask for help. She is also going to keep nudging him to be more open and to put himself out there more. So this is where we are now. He has some homework to do in finding some new things to try out and just get out and meet people. I also told him that he has to have at least two

dating accounts open before we meet up again and I would help him set up a good profile equals. I am glad that he doesn't really have many regrets about what we did, I know I don't, and is really focused on moving forward. I know this will be a long and probably sometimes painful process for him, but I told him I would be there for him every step of the way. I have also reached out to some of his friends on SM to see if they are willing to talk with me about him. I also want to talk with their S.O.'s, since they know him and I would like a female friend perspective rather than just a sister perspective.

Oh, and to the commenter slash DM who said I should have sex with him to help him, I'm not sure what to say other than he's not my type. We aren't that close. SMH I guess this counts as my one update for this. If anything else happens I can either put it in the comments or my personal page if the post is locked. I would like to sincerely thank everyone who responded for the kind words, love, advice, ideas, and insight into things we hadn't realized or considered. It really meant a lot to both of us.

Much love for the hive mind. Edit, I wanted to respond to a few comments that were made before the post was locked slash removed. 1. I am definitely going to talk to the Financial Aid Office about my situation and see if I can be considered an independent student for aid purposes. Thanks for the info on that. I did not know this was a thing. Two, I know he is everyone on blocked except for our mom and sister. I know it hurts him that our nieces are likely going to grow up in that environment. 3. The Uber-controlling part of my father didn't really come out until our grandparents, mom's parents, permanently moved to Oz. I think since we were all living in their house,

it was Grandpa that was the man of the house. Mike was already in college when that happened so he didn't get the full extent of it. This also coincided with my sister discovering boys in eighth grade so it could be a combination of both. My male cousins, 15 and 16, are already going down the path of my uncles and how they treat their older sisters and it makes me sad that thought process is continuing. Four, he was always a great brother to both my sister and me. He doted on us when we were younger and made time to be with us. When he got a job and then when he came home to visit from college slash work, he would take

us both out individually for ice cream or something just to talk. This is something Mom also did for all three of us. Even when we didn't have a lot of money, she took us out once a week to talk about what even if we were just getting one dollar MCDS drinks and fries to share. Five, I think the dinner slash hangout with my friends was the first time I had seen him interact in a casual social way with people he did not know. It really helped me to see how he first acted, stoic and robotic, and then saw him slowly ease into the conversation after a while.

My friends made a point to keep him involved. The BF, Rob, even got to talk a little about school stuff since Rob goes to the college that Mike did. they both went to my school's biggest rival. It was like as soon as he was able to relax and feel like a part of the room he changed and was able to engage naturally. Six, he agrees he needs to treat his mental, emotional and social health with the same priority and focus that he uses to help those he cares about and work on building new relationships. It will likely be a long and sometimes painful process for him but he knows he is support. Seven, he is working on setting up an appointment with a therapist through his employer's EAP to help him work through some of the issues I brought up in the

update. I promised him I wouldn't judge him, but some of the things he said really scared me and broke my heart that he kept so much pain inside. Eight, I hadn't seen the family texts he showed me before. They're all from when we first left he just never deleted them. I think everyone is right that my mom is suffering from emotional abuse equals I am worried for her, my sister and nieces in that regard. 9. I plan on, and have already started, doing more FaceTime slash phone calls with him instead of just text to try and make a more personal connection with him. More info about Oops Family. I realized after my original post that I was way too close to the situation to give an accurate assessment of my family dynamic. I was trying to defend my parents at one point so. I learned a lot by going through the comments here and it made me think. Yes, my parents preached a lot about being a good Christian, obeyed. your father, etc. But there was more to it that was pointed out. I feel my father's family is a lot more narcissistic and controlling than is typical in our community. My mom's family was

from the same church and were far more moderate. So looking now it's hard to separate the church from the family. But in the end it probably doesn't really matter. For sure, my father was the oldest son, even among his cousins, and was expected to set the example for the rest of the family. That didn't work out so well and was embarrassing for the whole family. My father wasn't able to get any further education after high school and has basically worked low-wage jobs his whole life. In some contrast, my uncles all went to trade schools and make a much better living than my father, another hit to his pride.

My mom eventually got some computer slash office software training after I went to school and got a much better job. She make more than my father now, but not so much more that she could support my sister slash nieces on her own. My father does not want to raise more kids. He felt he was almost done, I was a senior about to graduate, and the girls were a lot more to handle than expected. This was also mentioned in the comments and is absolutely true. My father and uncles, and apparently my M15 and M16 cousins, act somewhat like in our rated version of King of the Hill, where they stand around, drink and basically mock and talk shit about everything and everyone they don't like.

My cousins are starting to turn into my uncles and my two older female cousins, F-17 and F-19, are desperately trying to get out as well. Lots of talking about family members, not just my brother, behind their backs and lots of drunken boasting. Specifically related to my brother, I think some commenters below are correct that a lot stems from jealousy that he makes more right out of school than they will probably ever make in their current paths. My uncles definitely think that any kind of office job is not manly. I have heard this line many times related to Mike.

One thing I will give my father credit for is that he totally supported Mike's career path. There are plenty of other things my father had issues with, but the job was not one of them. I apologize that there was confusion on this. They all openly mocked Mike for his interest in reading, computer games, and robotics. He was part of our school's robotics club. They also didn't like that Mike did not like to do things like go hunting or fishing. They all seemed to forget that Mike also played football and was a starter at linebacker for our HS team. I don't know how to explain what a linebacker is to someone who isn't versed in American football

other than someone on a seat can destroy mission for the person with the ball. This is somewhat why I think Mike would tear any one of my uncles apart. Like I said, my uncles are good at drunk and bragging and I think they would wilt if actually confronted. I think the last thing I want to say is that I am worried about my sister, nieces and mom. So is Mike. He never blocked their numbers. I think if they reached out to him and asked for help, he would instantly go. I don't know if that would be a good idea or not, but he would do it. He was a lot closer to mom, a bit of a mama's boy and I think he would do it and

figure out the rest later. Update 2, this has been the most emotional week of my life. I am sitting here in my aunt's living room, watching my almost 4-year-old nieces sleep. I still can't believe it. Mike and I had been planning on visiting our grandparents and Aunt Kay and her family for a while. We left the day after my summer internship ended. We had no idea that they would also be visiting. My mom and Aunt Kay confirmed that they wanted to surprise us. Well, they succeeded.

When Mike and I landed, I turned my phone on, I saw a message from Aunt Kay that was just a selfie of her, my sister and my mom with a note that just said to have a safe trip. and we will see you soon. I almost broke down right there in the airport and showed Mike the message. He started breathing heavy, but his face was unreadable. I am glad he was driving

because I don't know if I would have been able to. When we pulled up to the house, my mom and Lisa basically tackled me in the front yard, eventually pulling Mike into a massive group hug as well. Since then the week has mostly been talking, laughter, tears and hugs. Mom and Lisa have taken us both aside many times to talk one to one, especially Mike. The only negative is that my nieces didn't

recognize Mike or I, which is to be expected, I guess, since they were like eight months old the last time we saw them. I hate that I have missed so much of their lives. They seem to warm up to me in a few days, probably because my mom, Lisa and I look pretty much alike, only differing in height and hair color. They have yet to really warm up to Mike but Lisa has repeatedly assured him that they will get to know him. So yeah, that's where we are right now. I am completely emotionally drained, but I couldn't be happier. Mike and I head back home later today and I start my senior year next week. I know I will get to see them regularly. I am glad my mom finally told my father that she is going to have a relationship with all of her kids regardless of how he feels.

It feels like that giant void in my life is now gone. Thank you for anyone who has read and responded to my story. It has helped both Mike and I these last 18 months more than you will know. Love you all. Mini update. Thank you. We are all doing so much better now. They have visited me at school several times this past semester and we all spent Christmas at Mike's house. We are still taking things slow with the kids but I'm getting to know them now and I can't express how happy that makes me. I hope you enjoy this story. Demanding mother attempts to coerce me into relinquishing my possession to cover her daughter's university expenses, and persists in doing so even after my refusal. I am a 34-year-old male who owns a valuable asset.

String of houses in my name in our hometown. This has been due to years of hard work, careful investments, and sacrifices made along the way. Just to give context, I come from a modest family. My parents were both blue-collar workers and labored tirelessly to provide a comfortable life for me and my siblings. They always dreamed of owning their own house one day, but it was beyond their reach. It was their upbringing that ignited my ambition and fueled my determination to build a better life for myself and my family one day. I met my wife during our college years. My wife shared similar experiences in her family.

Raised by a single mother who worked multiple jobs to make ends meet, she learned the significance of financial prudence and resourcefulness. We both wanted to overcome financial struggles one day and create a stable life for our children in the future. My wife and I tirelessly bought and flipped houses over the years. We saved every penny and made careful investments that eventually led to our ownership of several properties. Each property represented years of hard work, countless sacrificial.

and a shared dream between us. Today, I am a father to two wonderful kids, a son, and a daughter. Our properties are not just a source of income but a symbol of our dedication to securing a future for our children. Little did I know that my life would soon take an unexpected twist, thanks to an entitled woman named Emily, 40F, who has been one of my tenants for a few years. She resides in a comfortable three-bedroom house that I carefully saved up and purchased years ago before I got married to my wife. The property is located in a prime location in the city and is in close proximity to her daughter's high school. Emily was a single mother, as her husband had unexpectedly abandoned her after their daughter was born. When I became aware of her circumstances,

I offered her a subsidized rent to enable her to move in. Though I knew I would lose out on money, I wanted her and her daughter to be able to afford to live there. Over the years, I have never increased the rent, and it has remained the same. Emily had been a reliable tenant over the years and paid her rent on time. We had developed a casual landlord-tenant relationship over time and sometimes kept in touch when she needed my help around the house. Her daughter was a high school senior and was preparing to apply for college. Three months ago, Emily informed me that her daughter had been accepted into a prestigious out-of-state university, which was a remarkable achievement for any high school graduate.

However, this university was also very expensive, and unfortunately, her scholarship didn't even cover 10% of her fees. I knew the financial obstacles of higher education and had my reservations about how they would manage it. One day, Emily asked to meet me. Thinking that it had something to do with the renovation required around the house, I agreed without much hesitation. We sat down in the living room of the house where she started by six.

saying that she really appreciated the fact that I had been generous with her when it came to rent. She continued to tell me that she really wanted her daughter, Lily, to attend her dream university, but after crunching the numbers, including tuition, housing, and other expenses, she realized that it was too much for her to handle a loan. She had even reached out to financial aid, looked into scholarships, and had taken up a part-time job after her full-time one, but it was still not enough. I nodded my head solemnly and understand. thinking maybe she was going to ask me if she could delay paying the rent for the month, which would have been understandable.

Instead, Emily had a staggering request for me that left me dumbfounded. She asked me if I could sell the property that she was living in. I looked at her inquisitively as she continued to explain that the property I owned and had rented out to her would fetch good money, which would help her fund her daughter's college education. Are you serious? I responded, a mix of astonishment and disbelief. You want me to sell my property to pay for your daughter's college tuition?

Emily's eyes pleaded with me as she insisted that it was her only hope to secure her daughter's future. She mentioned that she had already had the entire property appraised, and was confident that it could cover her daughter's entire college fees. I asked her if she had lost her mind because there was no way that I was going to sell my property for her daughter to go to a high-end university. I told her that this house meant something to me, and I wasn't going to be. to sell my property just like that. Emily insisted again telling me that I could loan the money and her daughter would pay me back once she graduated.

Although I knew the importance of a college education, I was not going to accept her outrageous request. Hearing her plea made it clear that she was determined to find a way to fund her daughter's dreams, even if it meant making an outlandish proposition to a stranger. I calmly explained to Emily that the property was a significant part of my livelihood, and I couldn't simply part with it. The burden of her daughter's tuition shouldn't fall on my shoulders. I told her that if she couldn't afford to send her daughter to the university, she could ask her family members for help or look into finding a more affordable option for her daughter.

Despite my efforts to make her see reason, Emily continued to press the issue, asserting that I was the only one who could help and it wasn't a big deal to sell my property and give her the money. I realized that this was going nowhere. I left the property after. I left the property after. I was the after asking Emily to not approach me regarding this ever again. I requested her to realize how outrageous she sounded and that she should find another way. I thought she would realize her mistake but over the next few weeks, Emily didn't give up. As Emily's daughter was inching closer to her college journey, the situation was becoming increasingly more and more unbearable.

Emily, despite my denial, kept pleading with me every day to sell my property as soon as I could and even stopped paying her rent in protest. Our once amicable relationship had soured. The tension between us grew as Emily remained steadfast in her belief that the property I owned was the solution to her financial woes. She was convinced that my refusal was selfish and that it was putting her daughter's future in jeopardy. On the other hand, I was losing out on money when she refused to pay her rent in protest.

I warned her that I would take this to court because we had an ironclad agreement between she refused to comply and it became increasingly clear that her demands had no end. The turning point came when Emily started involving others in our dispute. She started to approach her friends and the neighbors around my property, painting me as an unsympathetic landlord who refused to help a young girl realize her dreams. She told them that I was very wealthy but I refused to help her out by loaning her the money. Given her status as a single mother who struggled to make ends meet, her story garnered sympathy from those she confided in. To amplify her cause, Emily took to social media and

wrote a Facebook post, placing the blame for her daughter's inability to attend college squarely on my shoulders. Soon, the rumors started to circulate in our neighborhood. People sympathized with her plight and assumed that I was indeed in a position to help but was knowingly not helping. I couldn't help but feel like an outsider in my own community. My wife finally decided to reach out to Emily to address the escalating conflict. With the tension in the neighborhood mounting, she felt that direct communication might be a path toward resolution. Emily, however, wasn't in the mood for a calm discussion. She immediately launched into a tirade about how I, as the landlord, had the means to sell the property, which she believed was the only way to secure

her daughter's future. Despite my wife's earnest attempts to reason, Emily's conviction remained unshaken. She asserted that we had the means to fund her daughter's college education and that we were being selfish. The conversation continued in a repetitive loop, with Emily repeatedly pushing my wife to convince me to agree to her demands. Her post, which had painted me as an unsympathetic and wealthy landlord who was refusing to help a young girl achieve her dreams, had a noticeable impact on the neighbors and the local community. Some neighbors who had previously been on friendly terms with us started to view us with skepticism. They began to believe that I indeed had the means to alleviate her daughter's financial burdens, but that I was knowingly refusing to do so out of selfishness. Others, who were aware of my upbringing, hard work, and the reality of my situation,

shared my perspective and were just as appalled by Emily's audacious demand for me to foot the bill. They reminded me that I needed to protect my property and maintain the hard. earned legacy I had built. The community became more and more divided every day, with some sympathy being directed toward Emily. Despite the mounting pressure, I stood my ground, resolute in my decision to protect my property. I had invested years of hard work and sacrifice to secure it, and it was not something I was going to part with simply. Meanwhile, Emily continued to fuel the flames, accusing me of lacking empathy and exploiting living in my property rent-free. Her social media posts became increasingly vocal, sharing stories of her daughter's determination

and the countless sacrifices she had made to prepare for college. As a result, the debate escalated from a private disagreement to a public discourse. The weight of the allegations started affecting my family also. My kids began to experience bullying at school, with their classmates parroting the false claims they had heard from social media about me. It was heartbreaking to witness the distress this situation caused them. It was then that I decided that it was time to take action. I had kept quiet thinking that Emily would eventually stop,

but now that my children were being affected, it was time to set the record straight and defend my integrity. I reached out to a lawyer who specialized in property disputes and tenant landlord conflicts. We immediately drafted a cease and desist letter to put an end to Emily's defamatory actions and protect my standing within the community. My lawyer informed me that the cease and desist letter was the first step in our legal battle and if Emily didn't back down, we would take it all the way to court. When Emily received the letter, she was understandably surprised.

She attempted to reach out to me by phone, but I chose not to answer her calls. So she sent me a text message expressing her desire to talk to me and clear this out before things could go too far. She told me that this was all just a huge misunderstanding and that she and I could talk this out. I replied back stating my intention to take her to court. I told her to brace herself and enjoy it because she was going to regret ever trying to mess with me. I know this is going to be an uphill fight because this woman has been relentless in insisting that I should pay her daughter's tuition and ruining our family reputation, both in the

community as well as online. My lawyer is currently preparing for the case, in case it goes to trial when she doesn't back down, outlining all the false accusations and the harm she has caused us in the last few months. When some of my relatives found out that I was taking her to court, they suggested that I should give her a chance to sort out the issue since she is a single mother and is trying to do what is best for her child. So Reddit am I the A-hole for refusing to sell my property to pay the entitled mother her daughter's college fees and instead dragging her to court.

Update 1, Emily has responded to our legal action with a letter of her own, filled with threats and more defamation. She has accused me of charging a high rent despite knowing her financial situation, which, according to her, made it impossible for her to save up for her daughter's education. I can't believe how far she is going to stoop down and lie just to get what she wants. Her accusations are baseless, and it is frustrating to see her play the victim card when I had already provided her with sub-exam. subsidized rent. It is clear she is trying to manipulate the situation in her favor, and I am not about to let that happen. It is clear that Emily is not going to back down without a fight. My lawyer, Matthew, has assured me that we have a strong case as her accusations are baseless,

but has asked me to be prepared as the legal process is going to be long and draining. I can't help but think about how this situation has escalated so quickly. It was never my intention to end up in a courtroom, especially with someone who had been a tenant on my property. But sometimes, you have to stand your ground and protect what's rightfully yours. Emily might have her reasons, but I can't allow her to pressure me into selling my property. My family's future is at stake, and I am determined to see this through, no matter how challenging it would be. I will update you next when the legal proceedings begin. Update 2 since my last update, the legal proceedings have officially begun.

The anticipation leading up to the court date had been excruciating and the courtroom was charged with tension as both parties presented their arguments and evidence. Emily, flanked by her attorney, portrayed herself as a struggling mother determined to secure her daughter's future. Her attorney painted a vivid picture of financial hardships, emphasizing how my property had been the last lifeline for her daughter's dreams of attending the process. prestigious out-of-state university. Emily's testimony was laced with emotion, her eyes welling up with tears as she described the sacrifices she had made as a single mother, the long hours she

worked, and her unwavering commitment to her daughter's success. She talked about her relentless job searches and numerous applications for scholarships and financial aid, painting herself as a mother who had left no stone unturned. Throughout the proceedings, Emily's attorney relentlessly painted me as a wealthy, unsympathetic landlord who prioritized profits over a young girl's dreams by charging her with high rent. They implied that I had been aware of Emily's financial struggles yet continued to exploit her situation. But the most astonishing twist in the story came when Emily introduced a witness who was a family friend. We were shocked when this friend claimed to have witnessed a conversation between Emily and me where I allegedly promised to sell the property

to finance her daughter's college education. I sat in disbelief as this blatant falsehood was presented in the courtroom. My attorney, Matthew, vehemently challenged this claim, asserting that no such conversation had ever taken place. He decided to take a more methodical approach to disprove this witness's claim. First, my attorney carefully cross-examined the family friend who had testified about the alleged conversation between me and Emily. He posed a series of detail.

questions aimed at establishing the credibility of the witness's memory. Matthew asked about the date, time, and location of the supposed conversation, seeking to elicit inconsistencies or gaps in the recollection of events. In response, the family friends struggled to provide consistent details and could not produce any concrete evidence, such as text messages or emails, to support their claim. Their testimony became increasingly shaky under the scrutiny of the cross-examination. To further undermine the credibility of Emily's case. Matthew presented evidence that directly contradicted the claim by introducing records of text messages and emails exchanged between Emily and me during the time period when the alleged promise was said to have been made.

These messages clearly showed that the subject of selling the property to fund her daughter's education had never been discussed and Emily was the only one who was forcing me to sell my property to loan her the money. Additionally, we had a neighbor who lived adjacent to Emily's property testify that Emily had been paying less rent than all the other renters in the area. My lawyer pulled up receipts from other tenants residing in the neighborhood to prove the same. Matthew went on to argue that the absence of any written or electronic communication regarding the supposed promise that Emily claims, coupled with the neighbor's testimony, casts doubt on a family friend's account and hence cannot be held as concrete evidence. We then focused on proving that Emily had intentionally gone to great lengths to slander my reputation on social media, which, in turn, had resulted in the bullying of my children. My attorney presented a comprehensive record of Emily's social media posts and messages where she had accused me of being an unsympathetic and heartless landlord who refused to support her daughter's dreams. These posts were filled with emotional appeals and outright falsehoods, designed to gain sympathy and support from the community. We highlighted that these posts were intentionally crafted to create a narrative that painted her as a struggling mother doing everything in her power to secure her daughter's future when in reality she was emotionally blackmailing me to sell my property.

Matthew then introduced screenshots of social media comments and direct messages from individuals who had engaged with Emily's posts. Some of these individuals were part of the local community and had formed a negative opinion of me based on a false information presented by Emily. These comments ranged from expressions of sympathy for her plight to outright accusations that I was an unfeeling landlord exploiting her situation. In addition to the social media evidence we presented witness testimonies from my children, who had seen my children experience bullying at their school due to Emily's social media posts. They described how their classmates had echoed the false claims they had read on social media about their father, leading to name-calling and harassment. My attorney went on to argue that there was a direct connection between Emily's false accusations on social media and the bullying my children had endured. The intentionally misleading narrative she had crafted had not only damaged my reputation

but had also directly affected my family's well-being. This presentation of evidence effectively showed how Emily's actions on social media led to real-life consequences for my children. As the legal proceedings continue, I am confident that justice will be seen. served. The evidence presented so far has shed light on the truth and exposed the false claims made against me. I believe that the court will see through the manipulation and ensure a fair outcome in this case. Update 3, we won. The past month has been a grueling experience due to the legal proceedings. It has been like a roller coaster ride, with unexpected twists and

turns. My lawyer continued to present evidence and testimonies, which made it increasingly clear. that Emily's claims were baseless. Her attempt to manipulate the situation by introducing a family friend who falsely testified about a promise I had never made fell apart under scrutiny. The lack of concrete evidence and inconsistencies in the witnesses' account cast doubt on the validity of their claims. After a thorough examination of all the evidence and testimonies, the judge finally announced the verdict and ruled in my favor. This came as a huge relief to me and I was grateful that the judge had seen through all the baseless claims. Emily was found guilty of defamation and was ordered to pay damages for the harm she had caused to

my reputation, starting with paying the rent for the previous months and additional fines. A restraining order was also issued by the judge, preventing Emily for making any further defamatory statements about me or my family. This ruling successfully validated my actions and my right to protect my property. As the legal battle concluded, I watched Emily sitting beside her lawyer looking defeated. I turned to look at her daughter, Lily, and couldn't shake off the thought that her dreams had been compromised by her mother's sense of entitlement. This nightmare was finally coming to an end with justice being served.

It was a lesson for everyone on the importance of defending oneself and not letting someone else's audacious demands shake our core beliefs. I can now move forward with a renewed sense of self-assurance. and the knowledge that my house and our livelihood are secure. I would like to thank everyone who has supported me in this journey so far. The mental pressure and struggles my family and I went through were immense, but ultimately, truth prevailed. Update 4. It has been six months since my last update.

Following my courtroom victory the restraining order has effectively silenced Emily, and the damages she had to pay for defamation provided some level of consolation for the harm done to my reputation. Emily and her daughter had to move out after I gave them the eviction notice. While their circumstances remained challenging, I knew they were no longer my responsibility. I did feel a twinge of sympathy for her daughter's lost educational opportunities, but the reality was that her mother's audacious request had put their family in a difficult situation. Emily was also forced to take down her defamatory social media posts as part of the court's ruling

and everyone quickly found out the extent of her lies. The last I heard about them was when her daughter, Lily reached out to me with an apology out of nowhere. Lily had always been a great kid and I had watched her grow up, but when her mother started falsely alleging me, I cut off contact with them. I was surprised that she wanted to get in touch with me after her mother publicly lost the case. Her message was filled with genuine remorse for the way her mother had behaved and the

consequences that had befallen her family as a result. She expressed gratitude for our patience and understanding during the ordeal, recognizing that her mother's actions had caused harm to both our families. She also shared that they had relocated to a more affordable area and that she had decided to attend a local college to pursue her education. She informed me that she had spoken with her mother after the legal proceedings had ended, and had asked her to back off, stating that she was determined to secure her own future without making any audacious demands. I felt sympathy for what she had to go through at such an early

age because of her entitled mother's false claims. I told her that everyone deserves a second chance, and it was admirable that she was taking control of her own destiny. I wished her the best of luck with her studies and assured her that the past was behind us. Now that Emily and her daughter no longer live on my property, our life is settled into a new normal. The weight of the false accusations and the bullying our children faced earlier has been lifted. We took action by reaching out to our children's school and addressing the bullying they had gone through. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse covertly switched to first class and left me with our two young children on a plane, causing me to feel furious and consider ending our marriage while

residing with my sibling. This is about my husband, Andrew, 32M, and me, 30F, and our kids, our 3-year-old daughter, and our 1.5-year-old son. Some background info, Andrew and I have been married for five years and together for almost eight years. We met through friends and we have grown through life together. So far, everything has been great, but he has had a lot to learn in the parenting department. When our daughter was born, he was very clueless. He was very clueless. about everything and I was the one who was doing most of the work. We did have a nanny to take care of her when both of us were away at work, but when the two of us were at home, on the weekends and stuff, I would find myself doing most of the work because he just had no idea how to go about it.

And constantly said that he was nervous to take care of the baby on his own. Gradually, he did learn, but it took him some time. I don't mind that, but after that, even after our son was born recently, he had a lot of trouble getting into the groove of handling two kids. And because he took so much time to get used to everything, it almost felt like I was a single mother for a while. Every time that we would go out and take our kids outside with us, I was doing everything and he was just there. We had a couple of fights about it, but I decided to forgive him for it because I couldn't use this against him. The fact that he was taking time to get used to it, but eventually, I knew that he would do a good job at being a father.

Or at least I hoped that he would. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, we decided to take a family vacation to Los Angeles. It's a beautiful place and my sister, Abby 26F, just recently moved there with her husband, so I thought that I would take some time to go see her as well. We had been planning for the trip for weeks because traveling with kids was not that easy. Anyway, two days ago, we finally got to the airport and while we were there, Andrew told me that he needed to use the washroom and left for a while. I thought he would come back soon, but almost half an hour passed and I was getting worried, so I decided to call him and ask him where he was.

When I called him, he picked up instantly and was trying to beat about the bush when I asked him why he wasn't back yet. But I told him to cut it out and then finally told me that while booking the flight tickets, he had upgraded himself to business class since he realized that he had enough points to do it. I immediately felt very betrayed and angry, and I told him that this was not cool in the slightest, but he said that he knew I wouldn't approve of it, which is why he hadn't told me. It was a very stupid thing to say, and it just made my anger even worse. I told him that he needed to come back to his family immediately. I was already very upset that he had even tried to do something like this, and now, if he didn't

come back, then I would just go home with the kids and he could go on the trip by himself. Instead of coming back, he started arguing with me and said that he had been working really hard for the family and he deserved a break. Besides, it was not even that long of a flight and he believed that I could handle the kids on my own for three hours. I tried to explain to him that it was not just about the kids, I just wanted him to be there with me because I thought this was supposed to be a family vacation, and if it didn't even start on the right foot, then what's the point of going on such a trip? I was really hurt and I tried to get that through to him, but he was so thick. He didn't even realize how upset I was and just told me that he deserved a

break and hung up. That move really pissed me off, because if we are talking about people who deserve a break, I think I should be the first in line because I'm also a working parent, and in addition to that, I also take care of the household and the kids with very little help from him. Yes, he does work longer hours as compared to me, but he also gets to relax when he's comes back home, which I don't. So if I'm not asking for a break away from my family, he doesn't get to do it either. I thought about going back home, but then, I decided that I was going to go on the trip and make sure that I made it worth it for me. My daughter had a lot of questions about why her father was not with us, but I didn't answer any of them and just told her that

once we got there, she would get all the answers herself. So we boarded the flight on our own and after he had hung up on me, I did not speak to him at all. I'm just incredibly thankful that my kids decided to be quiet that day and fell asleep as soon as they boarded the flight. Once we landed, I did not wait for Andrew at all. I didn't even wait to grab our bags, I just booked a cab and went straight to the address that Abby had given me. I was extremely upset and those three hours in the aircraft by myself had made me realize how unfair all of this was. So I went to my sister's house and when I showed up, she was really happy to see me, but then, I sat down and explained the situation to her and she told me that I was

welcome to stay with her and I did not need to worry about anything. I had left all of my stuff behind but I was not worried about my own things, since I did not have anything important in my bags apart from clothes and shoes and those could be replaced easily. I was just worried about the stuff that belonged to my kids, but Abby told me that she would get it all replaced and I didn't have to worry about any of it. After we had landed, Andrew had tried to call me several times, but I had just been ignoring him. He did not even have the address to Abby's home, so he couldn't even show up. He kept texting me, asking me to answer the phone and tell me where I was, but I was very hurt, so I didn't bother. After almost two hours, since we had landed,

I finally decided to call him back and then we finally had a conversation. He was quite panic-stricken and he told me that for the past two hours, he had been waiting at the airport with all the bags that belonged to the family, but we were nowhere to be found, and he had been worried sick about what had happened to us. So I told him that I was completely safe and sound and the kids were with me.

I told him that I was at Abbey's place and that I did not want to see him for the rest of the vacation and as soon as we went back, I would file for a divorce. He sounded shocked when I said that and told me that I was overreacting and making a bigger deal out of this than I needed to. He told me to come to the hotel and we could talk things through calmly, but I was in no mood. I told him that this one incident had made me realize how unfair things had been for the past couple of years, ever since our daughter had been born. I also told him that he had said that he needed a break and some time away from his family, so now, he shouldn't complain about the time that he was getting since he had asked for it himself.

He was very upset and tried to tell me that he hadn't mentioned it that way, and he was really sorry if I had misunderstood him but he just meant that things had been really stressful at work since he was trying to provide for the family to the best of his abilities, and he just needed some peace and quiet. I literally laughed out loud at that point and explained to him that I had also felt these exact same things, but I had never tried to abandon my family and run away from it. And that's what he had done, in spite of knowing that I was not happy about his decision. I told him that I had always been more involved with the household chores and raising our kids than he had ever been. I had actually been happy taking care of everything, since I knew that we were a family and at the end of the day, we were going to stick together.

But after what he had done, I was not so sure anymore. He tried to claim that he had equal contribution, but that was not true in the slightest. I don't know how to explain it to you guys, but it was like I was one who was solely responsible for everything in the household, and I would have to tell him exactly what to do, and only then would he do it. We lived in the same house, and I'm pretty sure that he was aware that certain things needed to be done like, maybe getting the groceries on time or buying things the kids needed, or even things like washing the dishes or doing the laundry, it really, really sucked that I would have to tell him to get it done, or he just wouldn't do it on his own. I had tried to explain

to him several times that he had free will, he could see that certain things needed to be done, and he did not need to wait for me to come around to tell him to do it, but he always had excuses he was always too exhausted after work to notice these things and I had always accepted that excuse. but I believe that he owed me at least a discussion before he just upgraded himself to business class and left us alone. He was also only there for the fun part with the kids on the weekends, but when it came to raising them, teaching them right from wrong, and keeping them disciplined, he barely was a part of any of that and he always got off being the good cop and the fun parent while I had to put in all the real hard work. I had these complaints against him for a long time and I had told him about it several times, and he always promised me that he would try to be more proactive. but nothing ever changed, and I was sick of waiting. For the past couple of years, I honestly started feeling like a single mother whose husband would only be around on the

weekends like a fun relative, and not literally the father of her children. I communicated all of this to him and yet again, he told me that he would try to change, but this time, I was not buying it. After the incident at the airport, I did not trust him anymore since he had really pushed me too far this time. I had made it very clear to him that I wanted him to be with us, and in spite of that, he had just ended the phone call abruptly and left me on my own with our two kids. So I told him that now he could enjoy the vacation on his own, and I was going to enjoy it my way. We were already going to go our separate ways, and once we came back, I was going to make sure that we lived separately as well so he could get all the space to himself

that he required so badly. After that, I hung up, and Abbey said that I did the right thing because it was very obvious that Andrew had been given several chances to change and yet, he had not. After the phone call, Andrew kept trying to call me again and again and even started texting me that he was really sorry and that he was going to fix the situation, but I just needed to come to the hotel and talk to him in person. He kept telling me that he was going to make things right, but he just needed a chance to speak to me, and after telling me to come to the hotel a couple of times, he told me that he could also come to meet me wherever I was. All he needed was the address. to Abbey's house. But right now, I just don't want to see him. So I've been ignoring those

messages, but a couple of hours ago, I received a phone call from my mother-in-law. She and I have never had any sort of animosities, so I decided to pick her up and both she and my father-in-law were on the phone with me. They told me that they had heard about whatever had happened from Andrew and said that they wanted to apologize to me on his behalf. I told them that it was really nice of them to do so, but this was between me and Andrew. They did not need to feel bad for any of this. However, they not only contacted me for this reason, but also because they had heard from Andrew that I was apparently thinking about filing for a divorce and they just wanted to request me not to do that, because then it would make it very difficult for them to see the kids as

regularly as they did. I tried to reassure them that I was not going to restrict our children from being able to see them. Truth be told, I haven't even thought about whether I'm going to file for or not. It's very scary and at the moment, I'm not sure what I want to do, to be honest. Anyway, I tried to explain to them that things were going to be fine, but they were very panicky and kept begging me to go back to Andrew and said that I should give him a chance. They said that we had been together for almost eight years and things have only hit a rough patch, but just because of that, I shouldn't think about leaving him so soon. I was sure about what to do before that phone call, but now, after getting off the phone,

with his parents, I feel weird. Andrew has still been texting me and keeps telling me to talk to him and says that he knows that we can work things out because we have been together for almost a decade and have been through much worse situations, so we will definitely be able to work this out as well. I feel like I might actually have overreacted since I can see that all of them are trying really hard to get me to go back to him. But I also feel that what he did at the airport was not fair at all. So I'd offer threatening to get a divorce because my husband decided to upgrade to business class and left me alone with our two kids right before a family vacation? Update one, hi, so three days have passed since I landed in L.A., and I have been living with Abby and her husband.

They have been kind enough to open up their home to me and have been there for me in this difficult time. I've been sharing clothes with Abby and the kids got some new clothes for themselves. However, we can finally go back to wearing our own clothes now because earlier today, I finally met with Andrew and he brought along our bags with him. Last night, after a lot of deliberation and a discussion with Abby and her husband, I finally decided to respond to Andrew. I gave him the address and that was it, I did not say anything else. I figured that if he wanted to show up, he would come on his own and would not require

me to say anything else. Besides, after all that had happened, I felt really awkward. This morning, he showed up with the bags and everything, and when he came, Abby and her husband decided to take the kids and go into a separate room. The kids were quite happy to see him since they had been asking about him a lot. There was a lot of hugging and screaming, and I instantly knew that even if I did file for a divorce, I would never be able to get myself to file for full custody as well because of everything. They seemed to be very happy around their father, and he was just as happy to be around his kids.

Anyway, once the kids were in a separate room, we finally got to talking. It was awkward, but he told me that he was really sorry from the bottom of his heart for not being a better father and a better husband. He said that he hadn't even thought that any of this was a big deal, but he hadn't exactly been thinking about how I felt and had just been thinking about his own self, and it was really incredibly selfish of him. He finally told me that he really appreciated everything that I had done for the family. and how hard I continued to push myself all the time, just to keep everybody happy.

I told him that these were nice things to hear, but I needed real and tangible change, and I had given him several chances to do so, but he never took any of it seriously. And that was why we were in the situation today. I told him that what had happened at the airport had really hurt me and maybe I had overreacted a bit, but honestly, everything just kept piling on and I couldn't deal with any of this anymore. I thought that he was going to get defensive again, but to my surprise, he came to me, got onto his knees, and took my hands in his own. That was when I realized that I still loved him, no matter how he behaved with me because the way that I felt when he did that made me feel like I was

safe and nothing bad could ever happen to me. I started crying while he was on his knees, and he told me that he was really sorry and that he knew he needed to step up and be there for his family. He also went on to explain that so far, he had made his work his life, and every day that he would come back home, he would just be so drained and worried about the future. Since he believed that whatever he was making was not enough, so much so that he couldn't even bring himself to think about anything else. He even said that he had been taking anxiety medication for the past couple of months because of how stressed out he had been. I didn't know that and he said that he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to worry about these things.

He said that he had fallen asleep at the wheel and he was ashamed of it, but he just wanted one chance to make it work with me, and he promised me that he would make it worth it, and I would not regret it. I was still crying while he was saying all of this. So he wiped my tears and sad beside me, and just like all times,

I put my head on his shoulder, and we just sat there like that for a couple of minutes, and I know this might not be the decision a lot of people will agree with, but I decided that I was going to stay with him. I really didn't care about what other people would say because I love him so much. I don't think I can ever love anybody that way. But I also love my children and I wanted the best for them, so I told him that I needed some

time to think about things right now. And he told me that I could have all the time that I needed, so after that we hugged, and he went back to the hotel. I have discussed things with Abby and she told me that she has no advice for me. She just thinks that I'm a good wife and an even better mother, so she knows that I will do what's right for the family. I thought about things from Andrew's perspective after the conversation that we had today, and I guess it can't be easy to be in a position like that because while we both work, he definitely has always been more stressed about his work than I have ever been.

He comes from a family where he has had to face extremely tough situations since his father lost his job and was struggling for a good couple of years when he was younger, so he knows what it means to struggle for money, and I guess that explains why he had been so focused on his work and nothing else. It's not an excuse, I know, but it is what it is. Also, the fact that he had been so stressed out for so long and hadn't even told me about it because he didn't want me to worry, it just makes me realize that we have just had a lapse in communication and if we can fix that, maybe we can move past this. So now, I'm going to think about it for a while and then let's see what happens. Update 2, hi, so it's been a couple of days since my last update. Two days after that

conversation with Andrew, I decided to go live with him in the hotel that we had rooms in. I finally got out of Abby's hair with my kids. I thanked her for letting me stay with her and being there for me. She and her husband even dropped me off at the hotel, and since then, we have been staying together. We figured that our fight was leading to the kids getting disappointed since we had promised them a fun vacation and now, we were staying separately, and they barely got to do anything fun. So we are doing everything that we had planned, we would do, and the kids seem to be much happier now that we are together. I still have a lot of unresolved issues, but for the sake of the children, we are trying to keep all of that aside and just be there for each other as a family.

I think that's the most important part of our lives right now, being there for our children and making sure that they are happy. He was right, we have been through much worse situations, so I think we can make it through this as well. When I came back to the hotel with the kids, I told him that I was not considering getting a divorce right now, but we still had a lot of things to work through. However, as soon as I told him that I was not thinking about divorce anymore, he was so happy that he literally hugged me, lifted me in the air, and did a full twirl, I don't even think he heard the last part and I didn't have the heart to repeat it because I was laughing so hard. Anyway, he keeps saying sorry every morning and has been doing his very best to make up for everything.

I'm literally being treated like a princess right now, and I can't say that I have any complaints about his behavior at the moment. If things continue at this rate, I might even forgive him a lot earlier than I had planned. Update 3, hi, so this update is particularly to address something that people have been saying. I've been receiving a constant stream of comments from a particularly hateful section saying that I'm a terrible mother and that I'm an idiot for getting back together with Andrew. I can understand that some people might not agree with my decision to get back together with him, but only I know that Andrew and I have been together for a really long time, we have had our fair share of issues and what he did recently was not right, but if he is willing

to work on it, then I want to give him a chance. I want to fight for our marriage and I don't think that there is anything wrong with it. Lots of women do it, and for some of them, things actually turn out to be great. And I want to believe that I am one of those women because Andrew has started to changing right after we had that discussion. If he goes back to his usual self, then I know what to do. But as of now, I want to keep our marriage intact, and I really don't think there's anything wrong with wanting that for myself. The constant barrage of hate that I've been receiving is breaking my heart. Lots of people have even been accusing me of being selfish for getting together with him, even though he's not a good father. I personally don't agree with that. I think he's a good father and he's

trying to be better, so that's what really counts. Anyway, we are almost at the end of our vacation right now and things have been going incredibly well for both of us, so I had to break it to you guys, but all of you are wrong. Once we get back home, we are going to start couples counseling, and I know for a fact that it's going to help us. The only reason I'm even posting updates right now is for the well-wishers because quite a lot of you have been invested in my story and I wanted to know more. So if some people really think that I'm not meant to be with him, then you guys are free to not read any updates on this post. But please, just keep your hateful comments to yourself because it's not worth it.

Andrew and I are really happy together, and our kids are better off for it. Ultimately, we know what's best for our family, and I think people should really respect that. So if you're rooting for us to break up, I'm sorry to inform you, but that's not going to happen. Update 4, hi, everyone. Wow, it's been quite some time since. I came on Reddit. My last post was pretty intense, I guess it was not a real update. It was mostly just a rant about the hate I've been receiving. But I'm happy to tell you guys that Andrew and I are still together. It has been seven months since our vacation, and after we returned, we started

looking for counselors near us and have been in couple counseling for the past couple of months. It's been going really well for us, and Andrew has been cutting back on his hours at work as well. He is more involved in the household now and takes care of the kids like never before. And now it's not just the fun part that he's there for, he's there for them at all times whenever he is at home. He doesn't bring the office back home with him anymore, and I'm really glad about that. It also really feels like we've been able to find each other after a really long time. We have ramped up the date nights and are trying to reignite the spark because while we were on vacation, we realized that we really did love each other.

But things have just been so hectic and intense for the past couple of years that we had forgotten to show each other the love that we felt. So we get our parents to babysit the children while we go out a couple of nights every month because we really need it. There's more to life than just work and kids. And I guess that was part of the reason

why things were going so awry. Anyway, we have been actively working on our marriage and Andrew has never been a better husband or a father. Most importantly, the kids are happier than ever, and that's really what both of us honestly wanted. They are thrilled to have their father around more, and whenever I look at them, I feel like I made the right choice by sticking to him. Money is going to come and go, but ultimately, we are all that we have. I think he had been a little too stressed about the future, but in a couple of weeks, we are going to take another road trip this time, and it's going to be much better. Our kids are quite excited about it and we are going to make sure that this time, everything is perfect.

And you know what? Even if it's not, we want to find a way to deal with it, like a family. Because if the past couple of months have taught us anything, it is that we can do whatever we set our mind to as long as we have each other. And I know that it sounds like something straight out of a corny film, but it's true. I hope you enjoy this story. I was a person struggling with addiction who mistreated my spouse emotionally. She handed me legal separation documents, but I got clean and transformed my life.

We are working towards restoring our relationship, but I still carry feelings of remorse. Is suffocating me? Me, 27M, and my wife, 31F, hit a rough spot and have been separated at home for almost a year now. It was largely my fault after a big setback. in my father's death, I fell into alcoholism and despair, stopped taking care of myself and neglected her when not emotionally abused her. Eventually she had enough and after I refused therapy for the NTH time, consulted a divorce lawyer and drafted papers. I signed them off right away but she didn't, keeping them in her room, she knew I was in a hard spot financially, so she said she'd wait for me

to come into my inheritance so I could move out and then she'd sign and file for a no-fault divorce, not from the U.S., in our country you can do this. After two months sleeping in my home office, I got sick of it and stopped drinking, dived into work and overall did chores around the house and helped her out. When she commented on my change, I boasted I was doing it for myself and not for her, and she agreed because while she wanted me out, she still cared for me. Over the last month she also occasionally asked me to sleep in the bed with her and not in my home office. Nothing intimate happened but still she would spoon me.

This until last evening. We had gotten closer and closer especially over the holidays and I told her that what I said was not true, I had changed and stopped drinking to show her at first, but then I really wanted to turn over a new leaf and be a good soon-to-be ex-husband. She went to her room and picked the divorce papers, setting them in front of me. She asked what we should do with those then, so I ripped them and she yelled out a big yes. and then hugged me. So, I guess we won't be getting divorced.

Hooray. Update 1, Hello Everyone. I posted a week ago about what had happened the evening prior, after living separate at home for almost a year, my soon-to-be ex-wife wanted to reconcile so I ripped the divorce papers in front of her, to her delight. However, soon after the realization of the fact that I had planned my whole new year around the fact I was getting divorced set in,

and that the decision of reconciliation actually brought me uncertainty and anxiety. My wife noticed that, and we had a number of heart to heart about this. There was talking, laughs and even tears during those talks, tears of the good, liberatory kind. My wife rarely if almost never cries, she's the stoic type, but seeing her break into tears, sobbing how much I hurt her and she still loves me, was like getting stabbed in the heart, I realized the pain I caused her is still fresh and burning. She unloaded all the pain and turmoil I had inflicted upon her with my past behavior, and admitted she felt both proud and bitter about my changes in the last year,

proud because I turned my life around, bitter because I had accepted the divorce so quickly as if she was what was holding me back, and she wasn't worth my best self. However, she was also angry at herself because she was already reconsidering the divorce back in June, but didn't say anything or gave me signals because she feared I'd revert to my old behavior or would rebuff her. In the meantime, I had started to renovate my father's old villa, well, more of a big house than a proper mansion, to move in this year, and gave her only breadcrumbs information about it, and she was both positively surprised to learn about all the work I am putting into it.

And again a bit bitter that I didn't tell her anything and all my projects were designed without her in mind, as if she was just an already fading memory. The possibility of an amicable divorce has been brought up again, but she wanted two clear answers. One, was there another woman? Two, did I actually stop loving her? The answer to both question is no. I told her I did suffer about losing her and our marriage, but I didn't want to be the ex-husband

who made fleeting promises, hounded her down and made a nuisance of herself. It's the least I could have done after making her suffer so much and also, thank her for her infinite kindness. I just worked, did my best to be a good soon-to-be ex-husband, paid my utilities and wanted to pay her a rent for the room she allocated me in her home, which she always refused even when I insisted. Eventually arrived the $1 million question, do we want this marriage to work? Answer, yes. It won't be easy and there's still a lot of work to be done. We agreed to take baby steps and have already booked couple therapy for this week. I am already doing individual therapy but now she'll be looking for individual therapy for herself as well.

In the last week, we went on some quiet dates, walks and a short hiking trip. I also made a piece offering of sorts by asking her if she wanted to participate in my renovation project of my father's house, give her input and ideas. She was enthusiastic about it, she likes gardening but her property has no garden and she makes do with the potted plants on the balcony, while my father's house has a large garden and a big plot of overgrown land behind it. She said we will be busting our backs, but it will the worth it, and I think that working together on a shared project will help reestablishing our bond. So that's where we stand now. The road is still long and difficult, but I'm hopeful. I wish to sincerely thank all the Redditor, who gave me their insights, comments, praises and criticism. Update 2, little changed in the last week. We had our first couple counseling session, her first therapy session,

we laid down the framework for our marriage. Went out on some dates and overall spent quality time together. We still haven't been intimate, she tried to initiate once, but I gently turned it into cuddling and talking. Another issue is that I have some difficulty sleeping in the same bed as her, not because I have something against her, but I'm so used in sleeping in my own bed that often I sleep one or two hours with her, wake up and head to my home office slash bedroom and sleep there. I wake up earlier and fix breakfast for her, she's happy about it but mentioned once I didn't sleep with her.

Do those things take time? I believe so, but I'm a bit scared I'm giving the impression I gave up on our marriage. I believe it will take months and lots of work to get back at how we were, while she thinks the process should be. quicker and I'm being too hard on myself and her. Update 3, I have been sober for over a year and got sober after she served me divorce papers. She decided to try to reconcile last January, and although things have been not easy to say the least, we still sleep separately. I don't feel secure enough to have SEGs with her, and we do lots of individual and couple therapy, we somehow are managing. However, despite what she says, I can't get over the shame that I have been a

useless and abusive drunkard and she probably remembers me as such, and the shame and guilt become unbearable. I work as a civil servant, in family services, ironically enough, and recently I got moved to the cabinet in the provincial government. Even had a photo shaking hands with our prime minister. My wife picked this photo and put it on Facebook for everyone to see writing how proud she was. I do think she genuinely believes this, and I'm happy, but I also think she's too eager to rug sweep the past and our problems aren't fixed at all. I still feel lots of shame and guilt towards her every time I look at her and at a certain point even looked forward to divorce, but she insists I am doing all the right things and if I love her divorce would be

something I'll end up regretting. I just feel we will never overcome this, and although many moments are happy and I do my best to give her quality time, cook her favorite dishes and get her gifts. I can't help but feel hopeless and even alone in my feelings. She wants for us to move on, but while for her it might be easy to forgive me, for me it's not easy to let go of the shame of what I was to her. My therapist says I have to deal with it on my own as I caused all this and I agree, but I don't know how to move forward. Is there something I can do, or should I learn to accept this and live with it? Maybe with time it will get better. After all a year sober is almost nothing. Update 4, she had every right to file for divorce because of my alcoholism,

she didn't deserve that. In the meantime I was sick of it so I stopped drinking, focused on my career and on renovating my father's house. She wanted to reconcile upon seeing those changes, and I agreed. But now I'm realizing I had internalized the divorce and my life plans. I planned my new lesse on life about it. I can't see myself being intimate. with her, she tried a couple of times and I gently turned her down. As a gesture of goodwill, I asked her if she wanted to participate in my father's home renovation project and she accepted with enthusiasm. She always wanted a garden.

Now I'm regretting it because that was supposed to be my retreat from the world and I will have to share it with her. I said all of this to her. She was upset but also understanding, in her opinion part of the fault is hers, she never communicated about reconciliation and sprung it up on me, and as a result what should have been a happy thing became a source of stress and anxiety for me. My therapist and her are saying this is my depression talking, but I'm not so sure. Are we truly done? Update 5, not really an update, just a new development.

I showed her the last thread. She's reading it on her phone. She said she already knew many of the things I wrote, including the comments. about jam and flowers. She said if she knew the anguish or reconciliation so soon would cause, she wouldn't have offered it and is regretting it. She thanks everyone for the kind words and appreciations made towards her. At the same time she got upset because in her opinion I put things worse than they are, so either I exaggerated them, or I've been keeping my true feelings from her and this is a big problem. For example, she says I'm not as cold as I'm making myself up to be,

and that she's not as pushy as I make her to be and in fact she's been giving me lots of space. She says I'm doing a weird self-sabotage here. She says I'm trying to get her to leave me, but it won't happen and if I really want to end I have to do it myself. She doesn't agree with it, but if I want to move out she won't oppose it. She wasn't angry, just very numb. Update 6, things are not easy, but overall they are going well, both in therapy and everyday life. There's still some issues in getting intimate, but we are getting there. Sometimes though the shame and guilt become too much and I wonder why is she even staying with me.

Maybe some costs. I do my best, little gifts, dates, cooking her favorite dishes, picking up chores, but to me it always feels like I could do more. Sometimes she notices this and says to take it easy. She says I try too hard sometimes and it comes off as artificial. She likes that now I'm all smiles, always shaved, well-dressed and gentlemanly with her, but joke that sometimes I look like the president of her country of origin. I'm doing my best though, even at the cost of overdoing it. Update 7, two months later, things are going lukewarmly well.

Talks of reinitiating divorce proceedings have stopped, and although we still sleep separately and have no intimacy, my issues, working on it with my therapist, we are doing well. Sometimes I feel I can't get over the shame that I have been a useless and abusive drunkard and she probably remembers me as such, and the shame and guilt become unbearable, but then it passes a bit. Basically we are starting over, dating, doing bonding activities, I get her gifts and surprises. She admitted she thought things would go faster, but in the end agrees with me that after a year separated things can't just get back as before. She also says I am too hard on myself, but I think she's the one being too indulgent. But apart from those difficulties, we are doing fine. I think this will be my last post for a while.

Things are going well, reasonably so. Still having issues in the bedroom, but I am working on them to try and be a good husband at least on that aspect. Last week I received a work assignment in the capital of our country. It's a two months long assignment and I'll be provided state housing. She is excited about this and already wants to pack her bags. I have my doubts about her coming along for her own sake, she has friends and family here, me not so much, cut them all off and not interested in reconnecting, her support system as a whole. She has reasons and loved ones to stay here, unlike me. She won't budge, since we are married

it's her full right to come along, and since she has her own e-commerce business she can manage it remotely. Plus she wants us to get back home every weekend. I know better than dying on this hill, so I'll be leaving with her. That's it. Naturally I am always, cautiously and within reason, hopeful about our future together. Update 8, just dropping by to say this will be really my last post. I couldn't take it anymore and I did not understand why I kept having negative thoughts about my wife and me despite things going well, and some of you got into my ear there could be something wrong in my head. So we got in touch with a professional, got tests done and found out my blood values were very screwed up. This led the doctors to speculate a chemical imbalance in my brain

and prescribe me antidepressants, not exactly antidepressants, they are mood regulators they told me. Both my wife and I were hesitant about this, but I gave it a try and low and behold, my negative thoughts disappeared overnight. I finally feel in control of my emotions, I feel that I love my wife, and I feel that things can and will get better. I was putting on a front before, but now I really enjoy spending time with her and make her smile. We started making love again, and no blue pill was needed, L.O.L, and we get back from the Capitol every weekend. We are turning my father's old villa into our private retreat and love nest. I did apologize for my unreliable behavior in the past months after she had extended me an olive branch, she said she doesn't

blame because of what we know now but I still think it's not a valid excuse, I should have sought medical help sooner. Now I can say, and mean it, that I'm happy and grateful my wife practically gave me a third chance, and I don't want to waste it. I want to make her smile every day and enjoy everything to the fullest. I guess this is it and you won't be hearing from me ever again. I just want to thank you guys for your inputs, opinions, advice and criticism. Baraspora, At Astra. Comments, Taiwan Bandit, congrats op. Many have been following your story and happy you gave us a positive story to read.

Continue to take care of you and your wife. Op, thank you my friend, I will. It feels like I've been on a very long hangover and it cleared up just now. Shining Moon TTV, Oh hey, I remember your other posts. Way to go man. up the awesome work and cheers to a better future for everyone involved. You deserve to smile. Veronica 92-16, I followed your story, and I was one of those thinking there was something

wrong in your head, no offense, I mean the chemical imbalance. I'm glad to see medication has improved you and your wife's quality of life. I think she's especially happy because after all this time she finally got back the love of her life. Op, thank you. I admit I am a bit afraid I could end up hooked on medication for the rest of my life, but doctors reassured me it won't be the case, and anyhow the priority is our wellness. Now on to the next story.

Story 2. Caught my wife in bed with another man while I was traveling for my job as an archaeologist. My wife and I met in Savannah, where we both attended college in very different fields. She was going for scriptwriting and I studied archaeology. The first date went well enough that we continued seeing each other, and the more we did, the more we realized just how perfect we were for each other. She was a little geeky, very feminine, and very good at communicating. When we first dated, we went out together weekly for trivia night at our favorite place

and saw each other any chance we got during the week. Before her third year in school started, she moved in with her mom to save money because living on campus wasn't the best financial decision. From the first time I met her mom over dinner, she loved me. So did her sister and nieces. They all accepted me as if I was always part of the family. I had a job lined up as an archaeologist as soon as I graduated. My wife had a little trouble finding a job with her degree. So, she started writing scripts to submit to several streaming services and channel networks. None of those panned out. Meanwhile, I proposed and we moved into the house I bought.

Regardless of her income, I knew I wanted to marry her. As my wife, she continued writing for about a year, but after that she caved in and got a job as a receptionist at a non-profit organization. I told her she didn't have to work a job she didn't like, but she promised she wanted to do it because sitting at home wasn't cutting it for her. That job lasted a total of 15 months before she quit and started her own home. business. She started offering tarot card readings and selling little trinkets she made out of epoxy. Every Saturday, she went to the market with a cart full of her art projects to set up at a table she decorated to look pretty inviting and mysterious. I was surprised at how much money she managed to pull in from doing this. As an archaeologist, I had to travel for work.

I would be home for about two weeks at a time, then leave for up to six weeks at a time. That was the longest it ever was, which I didn't think was that bad. Sure, I missed the intimacy with my wife, but that's what makes marriage so sacred. You wait and remain loyal to your spouse no matter what life throws at you, and when you reunite, it's the most rewarding relationship experience. I returned from a six-week trip at one point, and after we had wonderful reunion sex, it seemed like something was bothering my wife. It was like she wanted to say something to me, but wasn't sure how much.

I'd take it. As we sat watching a movie, she clung to her phone and I could feel her heartbeat racing. I finally paused it and confronted her, saying it was obvious something was on her mind. She swallowed hard and started to cry. She admitted she'd met someone at the market that she really enjoyed talking to. She said she wanted to consider being a life coach to said person, but she wasn't sure how I'd feel about her talking to him every day. I asked her if I could read what they'd said to each other so far, so she gave me her phone after she scrolled up on the messages. There wasn't much that screamed infidelity to me. She just asked him how he was handling the move, and reminded him that while having to relocate your family is a huge pain and life

obstacle, it isn't the end of the world, and he didn't have to feel trapped. We all have the free will to do whatever we feel like, up to, and including buying a plane ticket out of the country and never looking back. I told her it was fine for her to coach people and have friends, I just wanted to know the first names of the people she talked to, and made it clear that I trusted her not to start an affair or behave inappropriately with anyone. She was accepting of my terms, but I did notice a little disappointment in her. Not enough that I could say anything, she would have denied it. Half a year passed without an incident or any trouble in our relationship. While I was away, working in Tennessee, my wife called me one evening as I laid in my hotel bed.

She was crying, saying she needed to ask me a question that had been on her mind for some time. I told her to ask away, and that I wouldn't be mad at her just for asking a question. She asked me if I wanted to sleep with other women whenever I went on a work trip. I told her no, absolutely not. I never felt the need to sleep with a woman I didn't love or commit my life. to. I would wait as long as it took to sleep with her because she was my everything. She was surprised, but seemed comforted. She told me if I ever did want to, I could tell her and she wouldn't be mad. I told her she didn't need to worry about it because it never crossed my mind.

I reminded her that when I chose to get married, I made her my one and only for the rest of my life. As much as I would be an archaeologist for the rest of my life. I told her I never wanted anything to come between us, and that sleeping with other people was just a recipe for disaster that could lead to jealousy, problems, and divorce. She agreed with me and seemed to feel much better. She told me she loved me with all her heart and wanted to be my good, loyal wife for life. With that, we said good night. The next morning is when my gut started twisting and nodding. I didn't know what was going on at first, I honestly considered food poisoning as a possibility, but after giving it a moment's thought, I realized I wasn't sure I could trust my wife.

She never asked me if she could sleep with someone else, but she kind of went around that question by asking me if I wanted to. I decided to go home early, even though my request was denied. I was risking my whole job to drive back home before I was scheduled to leave. After hours of worried driving, I arrived home to find my wife's car in the driveway, and no suspicious activity. I was relieved, but that was short-lived. As soon as I unlocked the front door, I heard sounds coming from our bedroom. I raced to it to find my wife having sex with another man. When she saw me standing in the doorway, she screamed. I yelled for Apt to get out of my house, which he did, after scooping up his clothes. I just stared at my wife in disbelief for a few

seconds before reminding her that I had just told her how much I didn't want either of us to sleep with other people and how bad it would be for our relationship. She just whined and asked me what she was supposed to do when most of her life was spent waiting for me to love her, instead of actively loving her. I told her she should do what any normal person has to do when they don't have access to a lover. Not meet some stranger and decide to take him to her marital home to have sex while her husband was out working. I told her this went against everything marriage stood for, and that whatever fantasy she had about an open relationship wasn't going to happen with me.

I demanded a wife, in all senses of the word. She was on her knees, crying her eyes out, begging me with cupped hands to forgive her. She blamed herself for talking to other women about her situation, and listening to them when they told her to do whatever she felt was right. I was beside myself. I couldn't believe that even though I was totally clear about how I felt about an open relationship, she still went and talked to other women who encouraged her to give into temptation and betray her vows. She cheated on me.

She kept me in the dark and I still caught her sleeping with him. I told her to get out. She told me she didn't know where to go. I told her I didn't care. I knew she had family and friends that wouldn't let her spend a night outside, so I told her to go to one of their houses. She wouldn't move. All she did was sit in the hallway, making all kinds of remorseful noises. Whenever she thought of something specific, she'd start sobbing all over again. I ignored her as best I could, locking myself in the spare room. As annoying as it is, I was forced to stand my

ground and share the house with her until she was ordered to vacate by the court, when our divorce was final. While we lived separately under the same roof, I posted date. to social media about what she'd done, tagging all her profiles and business accounts to it. I commented on the pictures of her tarot table setup, making smart remarks that questioned her ability to even see her own future downfall. This definitely impacted her reputation. A lot of would-be customers took one look at her social media accounts and found at least one of my comments. It was enough that she lost all motivation to do it. She didn't even try getting a job in her degree field again. My testimony, along with the phone records I requested,

were enough to avoid alimony payments. So, without any life prospects or motivation, my divorced ex moved back in with her mother, sister, and nieces. She's basically back to where she was in high school, except much older and sadder. I hope you enjoy this story. The girlfriend of my sibling continuously borrowed our valuable belongings without giving them back, and later demanded $1,200 from him for her vacation to Cuba. While they were on their trip, she consistently neglected him, even when he required her attention. Sick. Hi Reddit, I'm a 21-year-old woman, and this post is about my brother's girlfriend, Laura, not her real name. She's 18, and they've been together for about eight months. At first, I really liked Laura. She seemed down to earth,

especially compared to his previous girlfriends, who were kind of odd. Laura comes from a family with less money than ours. We're not rich, but we're comfortable. Lately, I've started feeling like she might be using us. A few weeks ago, my brother took her on a trip to Cuba and paid for everything because she didn't have the money. She still owes him $800 and hasn't paid him back yet. She also borrowed my mom's suitcase for the trip and still hasn't returned it or even unpacked her things. Before the trip, she told me she wasn't sure she wanted to stay with him because she felt like she hadn't experienced her young adult life fully, like going out to clubs and partying. During the trip, my brother told me that guys were constantly giving her attention, and she seemed to

enjoy it. He mentioned that she was distant with him at times, but at the same time, they were still taking pictures kissing and acting like a couple. It's confusing because I know she wants to break up with him, but she isn't doing anything about it, and instead, she's being rude to him. What's also been bothering me is how she's acted about money and things. When we first met, I was cleaning out my closet, and she offered to help. I thought it was just her being kind, but now I feel like she just wanted me to give her clothes. I ended up giving her some really expensive dresses, like $300 each, which I don't wear anymore because they don't fit me, but now I regret it.

She's also taken a bunch of expensive things from my mom after my mom and stepdad broke up, like her old bed and kitchen appliances. I do her lash lefts and I paid for the supplies, but she never paid me back like she promised. She lives an hour away, and after the Cuba trip, she asked me to come to her house to do her lashes again. I refused because I didn't want to waste more money on gas, especially when she hasn't paid me for the supplies. Recently, she's been getting more and more rude. She texted me out of the blue saying, so I need a costume, are you going to give me one or do I need to get it myself?

I was taken aback. Why should I be responsible for her costume? When I asked if she had any idea what she wanted to be, she just said, ick. She was also mad at me for doing the Halloween decorations without her because she wanted to help, but I did it on a Saturday night around 9 p.m., so I didn't think it was relevant for her to come over and help. She wants to go clubbing for Halloween, but honestly, I'm not in the mood to party, and I have a lot of homework. My brother wants me to go so we can hang out with some friends, but now he wants to go to the club to check on her and see if she's going to cheat because he thinks she might have already cheated on him. I also forgot to add that during their vacation, a few things happened that made me feel uneasy

about her. For example, she spent an hour on the phone with her mom, causing them to miss a reservation my brother had made. While they were there, they made some friends, and she always wanted to hang out with them instead of spending time alone with my brother. When they got back, my brother caught the flu, and I was shocked by how she treated him. He was really sick, throwing up and having stomach issues, and she seemed annoyed by it. Even when he was struggling in the bathroom, she just sat there on her phone, completely ignoring him. On the flight home, he was so sick that he threw up on a lady while rushing to the bathroom, and she didn't even try to comfort him or help clean up. Now, I don't know what to do. I feel like she's using us.

but it doesn't completely feel like her. I'm also conflicted because she told me things in private, and I'm unsure if I should tell my brother, even though he kind of already knows and has a gut feeling. So, IDA for wanting him to break up with her. Additional information from OOP, I think there might be some misunderstandings here, so let me clarify. My brother paid for the Cuba trip up front because it cost $1,200 per person,

and she didn't have the money at the time. She agreed to pay him back her share, and that's why she still owes him $800. He covered the full amount initially, but it wasn't meant to be a gift, it was more like a loan that she hasn't fully repaid yet. Regarding the clothes and furniture, I didn't mind giving her old clothes that didn't fit me, and my mom didn't need the furniture, so at the time, it seemed like helping her out. I started feeling like she's taking advantage because she also borrowed my mom's suitcase and hasn't returned. turned it yet, and there are other things adding up, like unpaid lash supplies and some insensitive comments. About the flight, I didn't expect her to literally clean up his vomit, but showing a bit of concern or care for someone you're in a relationship with, especially when they're really sick,

seems reasonable to me. He wasn't sick before the flight, he got sick after brushing his teeth with the water in Cuba, and it hit him unexpectedly on the plane. I totally get that she's 18 and trying to figure out her life, and she doesn't have to decide if she's going to be with him forever right now. But if she's already uncertain about wanting to stay with him and doesn't seem interested in spending much quality time together on what was supposed to be a couple's trip. She's not a bad person, I just want my brother to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with him and cares about him. He's my little brother, and I think part of the reason I'm so protective is because of what he went through in the past. When my mom was with my husband, my mom was with

my stepdad, he was psychologically abusive to my brother, calling him names and putting him down. At the time, I wasn't living with them, and I feel guilty for not being there to protect him. My mom didn't really know about it, and she was also being abused herself, so it wasn't an easy situation for anyone. Because of all this, my brother is very sensitive now, and I can't help but want to look out for him. I know he needs to make his own decisions, but it's hard not to feel like I need to be there for him more, given what he's been through. I realize that I can't control his choices, but that guilt makes me want to step in more than I probably should. I just want to make sure he's with someone who cares for him and treats him

well. Comments where Op has replied, Boop on her brother's age and how the budget came out for him to pay for everything. Boop, my brother is 19 years old. I didn't leave that out on purpose, it just slipped my mind while writing. He didn't. He didn't. decided to pay for everything up front for their Cuba trip because she didn't have the money at the time. He paid for the entire trip up front, which cost $1,200 per person. She was supposed to pay him back her share, but she still owes him $800 out of that amount. Oop on her brother being sick when flying back home. Oop, he didn't know he was sick before the flight. He got sick after brushing his teeth with the water in Cuba, which caused him to fall ill on the plane ride home.

It all hit him suddenly while he was in the air, and he didn't have any warning beforehand. It was an unfortunate situation for him and everyone else involved. Number one, she does sound like she's using you, though it might have started out as genuine. Pointing out to your brother might backfire. Maybe casually mention how surprised you were that she didn't help him when I'll, or that he should remind her about the suitcase because it's not good manners to keep something that long. NTA OOP, I know she's really kind and a nice person in general, and I don't think she started out wanting to use us. I was genuinely happy to help her in the beginning. But lately,

she just seems off, and it feels like she's not interested in being with him anymore. I don't want to assume the worst about her or think badly of her, but these situations are making me question things. Comment her too, tell her to return the suitcase and stop doing her any favors. Your brother doesn't trust her, he should break up. Update, October 26, 2024. Hey guys, I wanted to do a little update and also share more about the past so you can understand where I'm coming from.

First, thank you for all your comments. You guys think I'm not the asshole, which is reassuring, but I still kind of feel. feel like one. I'm trying to respond to everyone, but there were a lot of questions about my brother's age. He's 19, not 21, and he's definitely not a predator. Don't worry. Part of why I'm so invested in this situation is because I can relate to his girlfriend. When I was 18, the legal drinking age here allowed me to experience a phase of partying and living my life to the fullest. Back then, I was in a three-year relationship, and we went through the pandemic together. I wasn't feeling the relationship anymore, so I broke up with him and lived my life. I just want to say that it wasn't

an easy decision. We actually got back together after a year and a half, of being single, which is kind of crazy, but it felt like a fresh start. The point is, when I saw her and how she acted, I saw a bit of myself in her. I brought up my own experiences to her because I knew how lonely it could feel when you're unsure about what you want, and no one around you seems to understand. I thought it might help her feel like she could trust me, but now I feel stuck in the middle and I don't know if I regret what I did. This week, my brother confronted her about the way she responded to me through text, telling her it hurt him and that he didn't accept her talking to his family like that. She got upset and felt like we were all ganging up on her,

so she decided not to stay the night and went back to her house. brother was mad and called me. He was telling me that he wanted to break up, but since she owned him money and he wanted his money back. That's when I told him what she had confessed to me, and I felt awful because I had promised her I wouldn't say anything. I initiated that conversation, so I felt like the fallout was all my fault. But this morning, my brother called me before work and said she texted him, asking for a break. He was furious and told me he planned to get all his things from her and end it. She's going out to a big city with her sister next weekend and he thinks she wants to use that time to meet other guys, and he made it clear that if that's what she wants,

he's done. She said that wasn't her intention and that she just needed some time, but he wasn't buying it. I feel even worse because I can't help but think that if I hadn't shared my experience with her, maybe this wouldn't be happening. But then again, I keep telling myself it would have come up eventually. Some of you are asking why I'm so invested, and here's some background. My brother is a kind and gentle person, but the problem is that people often see his kindness as a weakness, just like my stepdad did, and they take advantage of it. My stepdad was psychologically abusive toward my brother, constantly calling him names and mistreating him. I didn't include this in my original post because it's something that still hurts me deeply. At the time,

I wasn't living with them because I chose to stay with my dad to avoid dealing with my stepdad's behavior. My stepdad couldn't manipulate me, and I didn't let him get under my skin. I was the only one who would stand up to him, and things got really heated after my mom finally broke up with him. One night, things got so bad that my brother showed up at my dad's place with all his belongings because my stepdad had almost physically assaulted him. Thankfully, my brother got out before things escalated. My mom didn't fully know what was happening because she was also dealing with her own abuse from my stepdad.

But that night, she realized it was enough and ended the relationship. Afterward, my brother moved in with me and my dad. Later, when my mom sold the old house and bought her current one, she and my brother moved in together. They're both doing better now, but they're still in therapy because they're went through a lot. After he told me everything that happened, I felt so guilty for not being there to protect him. It still feels like I failed in my role as a big sister and a daughter. Growing up, I always felt responsible for protecting my brother. When our parents got divorced,

I tried to keep him occupied whenever they were fighting so he wouldn't hear the arguments. I heard everything, but I wanted to make the divorce as smooth as possible for him. That experience left me feeling like it was my responsibility to shield him from anything painful or traumatic. It might seem like I'm too involved, but with his previous girlfriend, I was hesitant and distant, and I know that hurt him. So, this time, I made more of an effort to be present and not let my doubts keep me from trying to support his relationship. I didn't want to come off as harsh or unwelcoming to someone he cares about. But now, I feel stuck in between. I haven't talked to her since their fight. I don't want her to think I'm mad at her, but I also don't want to

upset my brother if he finds out I'm still in touch with her. I'm not sure if she even wants to talk to me anymore. It feels like she was trying to distance herself, and maybe I just didn't catch on to that. I'm mad at myself because I finally tried to be present and supportive, but I feel like I ended up making things worse. I don't know what to do now. My brother's reaction to all of this has been to focus on himself. He's mad and wants to move on and just focus on getting back in shape and living his life. I don't know how to feel about his reaction. It seems like he's trying to brush it off, but I know it's hard on his ego, and he's hurting.

I don't know if it's the update that you guys wanted, but it's all I know for now. This story, caught my husband having sex with his ex-wife during our adopted son's B-day party. When I finally asked for divorce, it turns out this wasn't his first time cheating with her. I'm honestly a mess and I don't know what to do, so any advice would be appreciated. I, 27F, and my husband, 37M, have been married for three years, dating for six. He has an ex-wife, 37F, which he divorced a year before we met. We have a son, 7M, who was adopted after we got married and who I love as. my own child, because he is. I know my husband, Peter, fake name, is bisexual, I have no problem

with it and I had no problem with his ex-wife, Allison, also fake name, I did have a problem with his family as they're a bit homophobic and are always telling Peter he should get back together with Allison. Well, two weeks ago, we were at his family's town because it was my son, Jack's, fake name, birthday and we wanted to spend it as family. My mother and my mother and My in-law decided it would be a good idea to invite Allison so she arrived in the middle of the party, I didn't want to ruin Jack's birthday so I stayed quiet. I spent all my time with Jack, playing with him and his cousins at his request. When it was time to cut the cake, I noticed Allison and Peter weren't there, so I went inside and looked for them around the house. I found them in Peter's old bedroom taking their clothes off. I stood there in shock for a moment, but then I left and went back to celebrating Jack's birthday. Part of me wanted to scream and cry, but I also was in shock and I refused to make Jack's birthday about me. We cut the cake and opened the presents, people were already leaving when Allison and Peter came back. Peter took me aside and started saying that I shouldn't have cut the

cake without him present and it was disrespectful. I stared at him and just said, I'm sorry, I just thought you'd be too busy getting into your ex-wife's pants. He got quiet so I took Jack and left the house to go back to the hotel. Once I put Jack in bed and made sure he was asleep, I locked myself in the bathroom and broke down. I called a friend and he tried his best to console me. I only calmed down in the morning when I took Jack for breakfast because I didn't want him to see me like that. I'm now watching him play in the park and I don't want him to suffer, I don't want him to have a broken family, I don't want him to know that relationships aren't a happy ever after. Peter has been calling and texting, apologizing for everything and I'm tempted to forgive him.

I'm tempted to just have my family back, and all my friends are saying that it wad just a mistake, that he was vulnerable and Allison is his ex-wife. So what am I supposed to do now? I need the advice from people who don't know my husband or me personally. Please, any advice is helpful. Comments where OP has replied. Commenter 1. Teach your son that his future partners has to respect him and their relationship by not being a cheating bastard.

I do want to teach him this stuff, but he's too young and I'm just scared that he'll get a bad view of relationships if he sees his parents divorce. OOP on collecting evidence on his husband's cheating and if the husband has done this before. I'm not able to gather from the messages and calls, it has happened twice, including the time that I caught them. I hadn't thought about STIs, so thank you, I'll get tested. OOP responds to multiple comments about his husband not respecting him and the cheating wasn't the first time. OOP, it's not, I found out it's the second time, but I don't want my son to know what happened. He's unaware and happy thinking his dads will be together forever. I don't want to break that illusion.

Why didn't OOP interrupt his husband's cheating with the X? Oh, O-op, I was really too shocked and hurt by what I saw that I just stood there without them noticing me, I them hurt my son and unconsciously focused on him and only him. A copying mechanism maybe? I don't know, I was mostly an autopilot. Update 1, September 14th, 2024. Well, first of all, I want to thank you all for your advice and I want to explain some things before the actual update. But thank you for opening my eyes about my situation.

1. Peter and Allison didn't notice me when I saw them. There was music very loud downstairs and they weren't facing the door. 2. I didn't stop them because I was in shock. I just stood there for a moment and I heard my son so I unconsciously focused on him. I was pretty much an autopilot. 3. Peter didn't come to the hotel with me because I changed to a different one. He did try to follow me, but I took a taxi and left. As far as I know, he's staying with his parents and Allison left.

Four, we met when I was 20 and he was 30, we started as friends, and we ended up dating. Yes, we're both men and no, I didn't feel manipulated or groomed by him. Those were the most asked things and I did answer some comments, not all. Now on to the update. I did as some of you said and took some tests to. to discard any STIs or STDs. The results are coming back in a few days, and I will take another one in three weeks to be sure.

My son is having a sleepover with a friend and I decided to speak with my husband. He came by our house after a few minutes I texted him. He asked about Jack and I told him where he was. Then we sat on the couch and started talking. I started crying after a few minutes and he followed after. I asked some simple questions when Why? How many times?

Among others, and this is what I could figure out by all the things he said. It happened for the first time when he visited his parents alone two years ago, they invited her, they both got drunk, he was feeling lonely as I had been more attention to Jack since we adopted him, and they slept together. Nothing happened again until our son's birthday party, he said his mother pressured him a bit and he caved in. I don't believe he did it for that reason, but I don't know. He said he doesn't love her and I believe him, but it doesn't negate the fact of what he did. After talking for a while, I told him that I wanted a divorce. He started sobbing and begging for another chance, but I told him that I can't give him another chance because I wouldn't be able to trust him again and I don't

want that in a relationship. He kept crying and begging for another 30 minutes until I told him that we have to think about Jack and his well-being, that we could stay friends DS and co-parent him. He got mad, really mad. He started yelling that it was all Jack's fault, that we shouldn't have adopted him, that he's the one who's getting between us. I was crying and really scared, I had never seen him this angry. He hit the table and stormed out of the house. I called the house where Jack is staying at and told them if Peter shows up there, they can't open the door. After the little episode, I was scared that Peter would try to hurt Jack. I called my friend again, Thomas, and told him everything that happened.

He came by and is staying with me until I'm better. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what to do and how to go on with the divorce. Update 2, September 25, 2024. Hi again. Sorry for taking so long to update, but it's been a chaotic week and I'm pretty shaken up, but I'll try to summarize it. My husband has been showing up at my work, following me, and calling me from burner phones.

I was afraid he'd go after Jack like many of you said he would, but he didn't. He said a lot of stuff, but I'll try to write the important things. He said that he missed when we were just us. That I stopped paying attention to him when we adopted that Jack, that I wasn't his, anymore. He said that he missed how dependent I was on him.

I was very insecure when we met, but I started working on my issues when we adopted Jack because I didn't want to be a bad example for him. When we got married, I used to get sick all the time, I was weak and tired, so he would take care of me 24 to 7. The doctors couldn't tell what was wrong with me and I didn't get better until a bit after we adopted Jack. I guess that dependence it's what he missed. Yesterday, he followed me to work and started screaming that I was his and that we made vows to say. stay together, we had to call security and he waited for me next to my car. I panicked and took a taxi home. He keeps messaging me and showing up to our house. I took a few weeks off work to be with Jack although he's taking this better than me. I made an appointment with a therapist for him and when the

divorce is finalized, I'll go to one myself. I've been debating what to do, so I'll update when something happens. I hope you enjoy this story. Ending my marriage with my spouse of two decades after finding out she was unfaithful with at least 10 men during her time in university and even went as far as introducing me to some of them. My partner, a 44-year-old female, and I, 43M, have been married 20 years. We started dating in high school when I was a junior, and she was a senior. We were long distance for her first two years of college while I was in high school and did one year at community college. We then went to college in the same city for a year and have lived together since. We got married the summer after I graduated college.

Our marriage has been pretty great so far, but I initiated a divorce after I discovered that she was sleeping with multiple other men for the two years we were long distance. Just after Christmas, we got together with a few friends of my first. hers from college to catch up, have dinner, and hang out. We talked about a lot of stuff, and my wife mentioned that we met in high school, not that we dated, just that we met. Her old college roommate commented that it was crazy that we met in high school, had a few wild years in college, and then ended up together. I played along and commented that I didn't know if my wife was as crazy as I was. The roommate started to tell a story, but my wife cut her off and said she was uncomfortable about it. I sensed something was up, so I said that we actually started dating in

high school and were together for my wife's entire time at college. All of my wife's friends got really quiet, and the rest of the dinner was awkward. On the way out, one of her other roommates took me aside and said I should have an honest conversation about what happened at college. I asked my wife about it on the way home, and she kind of blew me off. I told her it was important that she was honest with me, and again, she said it wasn't important. When we got home, I told her I was going to stay at my brother's house until she was ready to talk about what happened in college. The next day, she came over and admitted to sleeping with several men during her first two years at college. She said she didn't consider it a big deal at the time because we were

long distance, and she didn't think a high school romance would last. I pressed for more details, and she said it was at least ten different men, including at least three guys she introduced to me as friends when I came to visit on weekends and one guy she was still in contact with. I told her that I wanted a divorce and would be starting the paperwork as soon as I could, which I did on January 2nd this year. Her family and most of my family are telling me I shouldn't throw away my marriage over a few mistakes. I've stood by my belief that cheating on me with multiple men for years is unacceptable, no matter when it happened. The fact that she continued to maintain relationships with these guys right in front of me was an unacceptable amount of disrespect. We have two children, but they are 17 and 19, and I believe they will understand why I need to end the marriage. Am I wrong for leaving?

I feel like I'm going crazy with the number of people telling me to overlook years of infidelity and decades of lies. Comments, Phi Z you pay. If she wants to do the work to remain in your life in any capacity, that's up to you guys. You should absolutely do what you need to do to feel comfortable with your way forward. She robbed you of your agency for 20 years, and then invited people who had violated you into your life. I don't blame you for feeling whatever way you do. Hope you and your children can navigate this as well as possible. And if there is a way you can live happily in whatever capacity with your wife,

then I'm all for that too. Do what's best for you, fuck how anyone else feels. Wishing you the best. Particular Library, 618 op. It would change a lot if I felt that she wanted to fix this. Throughout our conversation about it, she repeatedly dismissed my feelings and told me I was overreacting to totally normal behavior. She didn't show any regret or consideration for how it hurt me

until she realized I was serious about divorce. Then she got defensive and angry. She didn't offer to fix things in any way until I started the paperwork and notified her that I had a lawyer. I think we can navigate being parents. Our kids are older and I've been putting away money for college slash post high school for a long time,

so a lot of the custody and monetary issues that come up shouldn't be a big problem. We're also both financially stable and make good money. Okay underscore Educator underscore 7097. She cheated and lied to you then, maintained contact with at least one of her fuck buddies, and introduced you to many of the guys that were banging her. That is not only dishonest but cruel. I think you are 100% in the right.

Who knows what else she's done? You have no way of knowing. Static cloud, if she slept around in college, and told you about it and you reconciled. No issue there. But she kept it from you. She kept in contact with one. She introduced you to her flings as friends at the time. That's completely messed up.

You are right to divorce her. She lied to you for 20 years. She does not respect you now or then. More info, I've hired a lawyer. He drafted an intent to separate and sent her a copy by certified mail. As far as I know, that's not any legal divorce paper with the state but rather a part of the process to ensure that she has an opportunity to hire her own lawyer if she wants to contest it. Actually, going through the divorce will likely take months. I'm not really moving out.

I've been crashing at my brother's place while I make arrangements for a more permanent living scenario. As far as timing goes, the dinner happened on the 26th of December. I went to my brother's house that night to cool off and give her a chance to think about things. We talked several times over four to five days, and she made it clear that she didn't believe she did anything wrong. If there were any kind of remorse or basic consideration of my feelings on her part, I probably would have waited. However, she didn't, so I found a divorce lawyer, and he had boilerplate intent to separate agreements that we filled out and sent over the same day. Even now, we're obviously not legally divorced, and I don't even know if there is a legal concept of separation in my state, but I've made it clear this is happening and started the process.

Edit, I obviously can't answer every question slash comment, but I wanted to provide some detail for common questions. The reason I posted this is that my wife and a few friends have been saying it's common to sleep with other folks when you're in a long-distance relationship and that I'm kind of the odd one out for not sleeping around. I felt like I was being gaslit, but I wanted an outside perspective. We live in a state with a waiting period to finalize a divorce, so I felt it was a reasonable idea to get some insight before things are finalized. After these comments, I see a handful of folks saying it's normal to sleep around during a long-distance relationship, but it seems to be a significant minority. We saw each other a couple of weekends a month during the two-year college period.

I lived about three hours away from her college, so it was long distance but not like cross-country. This was not a situation where we went months without seeing each other. The three guys I met while she was in college were meetups that happened during parties. The subject of me being a boyfriend didn't really come up, so I honestly don't know if these guys knew anything. The one guy were still in contact with married a mutual friend from college. This is not some guy she secretly messages on the side. It's somebody we've talked to regularly for years. I've talked to him a few times since I've learned about my wife.

He said he didn't know we were dating at the time and has since blocked my wife on social media. Some folks have asked how the roommates didn't realize at our wedding that the timelines didn't work out. The main reason is that my wife and I had a very small ceremony with just close family in Texas, then went back to the East Coast to have a big party with friends. The typical reception slash sharing details about how we met stuff didn't really happen, so her roommates didn't realize we started dating before college. It sounds like they thought we only dated for the year we were both in the same city, then moved and together.

I was open to therapy or some kind of attempt to save the marriage, but her insistence that this whole thing is common and I'm the one who's out of line is just too much for me. The only time she showed any remorse or even offered to reconcile was when I started filing paperwork. In the last week, she's gone back to saying she's right and I'm overreacting. This is also why I feel like I'm being gaslit. It seems obvious that this is a major issue, but I've got my wife and others telling me it's normal, and I'm overreacting. I'm not getting a paternity test unless my kids want to get one. I don't have any doubts that they are biologically mine and no test will make them, not my kids.

I love them more than anything in the world, and my wife's infidelity won't change that, even if one or both of them are not biologically mine. They've been my kids for 19 years, and they will be my kids until I stop breathing. Final edit, Hey y'all, I've been reading a bunch of the responses, but things are getting crazy and increasingly unhinged, so I probably won't be checking in more. Here are a few more answers to common questions I've seen. We were definitely exclusively dating at the time. First, dating culture was a lot different 20-ish years ago,

and exclusive was the default for most people. Second, we had a long and difficult discussion before she left for college about continuing the relationship long distance. She specifically wanted to stay together and even joked about her dad coming after me if I started sleeping around with girls at my school for my senior prom, she was not able to attend and was very upset when I proposed going with a platonic female friend of mine. As a result, I ended up skipping my prom and hanging out with her instead. While we never said the word exclusive, I think the above reasons, combined with the general

relationship before she left, are enough to assume exclusivity, based on some comments here. I followed up with a friend who said I should have an honest conversation. She told me that ten guys would be on the low end and that her biggest concern was that there was apparently at least one pregnancy scare that I didn't know about. I honestly don't think that really changes much. It's less about the number for me and more about the fact that she seems incapable of recognizing why this was wrong or why I feel betrayed. Thank you all for the helpful responses, even those that disagree with me.

I will still be open to therapy if she's willing, but I honestly feel like it would be more about us being successful co-parents and finding closure than saving our marriage. Update first, let's talk about the things I learned about the situation in college. After talking to my wife in sessions and texting with two of her roommates, it's clear that her roommates knew something was up in college. They said they thought the situation was weird and likely involved cheating. My wife had told them that we both had some wild times in college and worked it out before we got married, so they never really brought it up. The roommate who pulled me aside recently was uncomfortable with the fact that my wife clearly didn't talk it through with me and wanted me to know. As far as being introduced to guys she slept with, apparently, that was not intended. For one of the guys, he ended up dating and then marrying one of our mutual friends from college.

This is the guy she was in contact with. In the other situations, she initially blamed me in the counseling session, but has now agreed it was bad. When I went to visit her, she planned to hang out in the room or just hang out together alone, but I wanted to go to a few parties because I didn't really have parties to go to in high school and community college. She didn't expect me to meet the guys, but they were at the parties, and she felt she didn't really have a choice. I still think this is kind of shitty, but it's not as bad as her intentionally parading me in front of the guys. Most of our discussion in therapy has been talking about why I think it's a big deal and she doesn't. She initially said that none of these guys were in relationships with her, and it was mostly One Night Stans or FWB.

Since she didn't view them as romantic relationships, she didn't see the big deal, her words, not mine. My opinion is that we never said that was okay, and she actively prevented me from doing the same. After digging into this over two sessions and my wife talking to some friends, she now agrees that it was a breach of our trust-slash relationship. This shared understanding has helped us talk about this situation more honestly and move from arguing to talking, which is why I'm optimistic about co-parenting. Now, here's why I'm 100% set on divorce. Two things came up that made me want to leave the marriage.

First, about ten years ago, we went through a really rough patch and had a dead bedroom for about two years. She had expressed that our sex life was becoming boring, so I tried to spice things up, nothing crazy, just roleplay and like Spencer's gift level sex toys. Apparently, she had been hung up on some sexual experiences that happened in college, that she is not comfortable talking about, and wanted me to try to. them. When I did, it made her feel awkward and guilty, and it made her think of other men while she was with me. The fact that she's saying these experiences were meaningless, but they're still impacting our marriage tells me they meant more than she wants to admit. Second, she admitted that she has been flirting with co-workers on business trips since the pandemic ended. She says she has never slept with anybody, but it got as far as going on a date with one of her male co-workers.

That was the absolute deal-breaker for me. We have told our children that we're getting a divorce. We told them it was due to some bad decisions that we made in college that were having trouble moving past. My 19-year-old, who is in college, asked me if I cheated on my wife while she was away at college. My wife got a little shaken up but admitted to the kids that she was the one who cheated. We have agreed not to share any additional details with the kids. I reinforced that both of us would be there for the kids and that we would be in therapy to help make sure we handled this in the best way for the family. I also told the kids that if they wanted to talk to either of us or a therapist about it, I would fully support it.

We've started talking to a mediator about how to proceed with the divorce, and unless things change, we should be able to have an amicable divorce. We're both financially stable on our own, we have no major debts, and our kids are older, so cuts. is not a major issue. This has been a shitty couple of months for me, but I'm doing okay now, and I honestly am grateful that my last post blew up because it both validated some of my feelings but also motivated me to go to counseling with my wife. Edit, a couple of things to add in response to comments, I know she probably cheated more than she has admitted. Once our dead bedroom situation from years ago and a date with a co-worker came up, I accepted that this has probably been going on at some level for a whole marriage.

I'm not glossing over that because I'm an idiot who believes she's telling the whole truth. I have enough truth to know this is the right decision and that it was more than just college. Adding more detail won't change anything. In this post, the last post, and in many messages, a lot of messages, people keep asking if a hall pass would help fix things. It won't. I don't believe that more cheating will solve the trust issues. That may have worked for other people, but I really don't think that's going to help us. My STBX and our counselor know about the Reddit posts. I was up front with both of them about it. I've kept this anonymous enough that I doubt anybody would guess who I

really am, and this has helped me process things. In all honesty, seeing both sides of the issue has helped me in reading the comments on the last post help my wife better understand some of the frustration and hurt I feel. I don't necessarily believe sharing all these details on Reddit is the healthiest way to handle a situation, but I don't have many close friends I can share with who aren't also mutual friends with my wife, so this is kind of a way to talk through it. Now on to the next story. Story 2

Girlfriend cheated on me with one of her clients at a comedy show, so I ended our relationship. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost four years. When I met her, I visited a local comedy club every week to try and participate in their open mic night. I had always enjoyed stand-up comedy and being a comedian was a dream of mine. That didn't exactly pan out for me, but I met a lot of great friends and my girlfriend. She was an employee at the club. She was in college at the time and she wanted to be a talent agent, so she thought she was. could make some good connections there. When she graduated, she landed a pretty good job at a local

talent agency. She was working as a scout to bring in new talent. I ended up giving up on my comedy career when I got a big promotion at my day job. I didn't have the time to go to open mic nights or work on my jokes, so it fell to the back burner. I still do love comedy and I visit my friends at the club, but that's about it. My girlfriend and I continued seeing each other each other for a couple of years before she got a big break at the agency. We were living together at the time and everything was going smoothly. She was somebody that I saw a future with and I was ready to buy a ring and propose. However, whenever we would talk about marriage and starting a family, she would tell me that she didn't want any of that until she was at least 30. My girlfriend was

working as a tour manager for a new comedian that the agency was representing. I won't say who it was, but they were on America's Got Talent and they garnered a lot of attention very quickly. The comedian didn't get very far in the competition, but they gained a significant fan base from the time they were there. We had a long conversation before she accepted the job just so she could make sure I was okay with it. The position would have her on the road frequently and she was worried it would impact our relationship. I didn't want to hold her back in any way, so I told her to go for it. It was what she wanted to do. It was what she wanted to do. It was what she wanted to be. It was wanted to do and I trusted her so there was no reason for me to not want her to go.

I met the comedian a few times. He and my wife had grown close from the time they spent together. When they first began working together, he was a newlywed. Over the years he and his wife tried to have a baby. My girlfriend had been working with him for about two years when everything hit the fan. I had never suspected that they had anything more than a professional relationship with each other. The comedian landed a three-month-long tour across the country. All of the shows were in pretty quick succession of each other, so when they weren't performing

they were on the road. I said goodbye to my girlfriend, not expecting to see her again until it was all over. A couple of weeks into the tour, I was curious so I checked the schedule and saw that they were going to be in a nearby city so I could surprise my girlfriend by attending a show. I saw that there was one about an hour away, so I bought tickets and booked a hotel room for us. When the weekend of the show came, I made my way to the club. I was standing outside in the line waiting for my turn to get in. At one point, I was standing next to a narrow alleyway with a few people hanging out in it.

They were all laughing and smoking, so I kind of assumed that they were employees of the club. I looked down the alleyway and I noticed my girlfriend right away. I tried to look away and not make myself obvious because I was there to surprise her. But then I heard her giggling and it got my attention. It sounded a little flirtatious. I looked back, I saw the comedian she was managing pinning her to the wall and kissing her while her arms were wrapped around him. It was a very comfortable kiss. It definitely wasn't the first time it had happened.

When they finally pulled away, he made a joke about how that was his good luck charm. Somebody opened the door and called them in before I could see anything else. I didn't know what to do, I continued walking in the line almost like a zombie. I was in shock and completely stuck in my head. I needed to know if they had ever done anything more than kissing. The kiss was already not okay, but I needed to know if there was something more going on, especially considering that the comedian had a new baby at home. While I was in the line, my girlfriend spotted me.

She rushed over to me and asked me what I was doing there. I told her that I was there to surprise her and she brought me back to the green room. I had to smile and laugh with both of them while knowing that there could potentially be something going on with them. His set time finally came and my girlfriend went out after him to record his performance. She told me to stay behind in the green room because she was going to come and check in on me during the show. I didn't feel like watching his performance, so it was okay with me. I noticed that she left her purse behind when she left. I was alone in the green room, so I took the liberty of going through it.

Inside her bag, I found an entire box of condoms. When I opened it, I saw there were only a couple left. She and I had been together for years and I knew she was on the pill so we didn't use condoms. I knew they had to be for someone else. That pretty much solidified it for me. She was obviously sleeping with someone, and from what I saw it wasn't too far a leap to confirm that it was the comedian. I stormed out of the green room, which happened to be right behind the stage so everybody in the audience saw the door slam open before I rushed out of it. My girlfriend caught up to me and asked me what was wrong.

I replied telling her that I knew she was sleeping with the comedian, gesturing to him on stage. Of course, people started pulling out their phones and recording our little altercation. The comedian was trying to rein everybody back in to pay attention to him while we were fighting, but it wasn't working. I yelled at him while he was on stage too, but he didn't say anything. My girlfriend tried to tell me that I was wrong, but I told her that I saw her kissing him in the alley and I found the condoms in her purse. She didn't have anything to say about that. I went home as soon as I could after the arguments and tried to figure out what I wanted to do moving forward. Obviously, I wasn't going to be with her any longer.

Our argument was no doubt humiliating for her at the time, but I wanted to do even more. I ended up calling the agency that she worked for in telling them that she was sleeping with one of their clients. I didn't know their employee conduct rules, but I imagine it was probably frowned upon. They told me that they would handle it from there. Some people shared the videos of the altercation online and that seemed to have gotten back to the comedian's wife. From everything I could tell, they ended up getting a divorce. I can only hope it was because he was cheating on her and she found out. My girlfriend was let go from her job at the agency and a lot of the clients she was managing were given to other agents.

I knew she was disappointed with that, but that was just karma getting back at her in the end. I keep finding myself looking back at our relationship and trying to pinpoint if there were any signs before I caught her, but I don't think there were. To this day, I still don't know how long their hair lasted, but it must have been a while. I hope you enjoy this story. Just a kind notification before the video starts, you will listen to two anecdotes in this clip and both contain fresh developments. Moving on to the initial tale. I spot her a lot and I keep meeting her, but she does not know I am her child. She had me when she was 14.

And I, 24M, was given up for adoption. My parents told me about her growing up. I still have the letter she wrote me that she asked if they could give it to me if they were. wanted. It's crazy reading it sometimes and knowing it was a literal child who wrote it saying she's sorry she couldn't be my mommy, but she hopes I'm happy. She was open to having contact, but we moved from my dad's job when I was 11 and then it seemed impossible to find her. But luckily I did. She's working at this small restaurant and I keep going, but she doesn't know it's me. We talk sometimes, and she seems like a nice lady. Sometime when she says something like

do you want a refill, honey, or uses another term like that I want to tell her that I don't know we it makes me nervous. We talk sometimes and she seems really genuine. If it's not super busy she's more open to talking about random stuff. I literally drive two hours to come eat at this place just to see her. And it's like she knows me already because I'm there once or two times a week for the past three months so she always says hi with a big smile. But man, if only she knew, Update, posted seven months ago. Update I keep meeting my birth mom but she doesn't know it's me. Well, I did it I told her.

And yeah, it was pretty heavy. My heart was even beating fast. I kept trying to think how to tell her. Many of the comments on my last post here mentioned writing her a letter just how she wrote a letter for me. Originally that was the plan but for me it felt like I needed to say it. Oh, really quick I want to say thanks to everyone for their love and support. Mostly to all the birth parents out there who shared their stories with me. That's what really helped push me to have the courage to confront her.

It meant so much so thanks. Everything happened day before yesterday BTW. I did wait for her to be done with her shift and that was when they were closing the restaurant already and waited in the parking lot. We said hi when she saw me first, but then I told her there was something serious that she needed to know. First told her sorry for keeping it from her this long. She didn't react until I actually pulled out her letter. And she started bawling from there, like screaming and crying at the same time, and didn't even have to finish the whole I'm your son's speech.

She just saw it and knew. It was crazy. Next thing I know she's hugging me instantly, but then she pulled back. and asked if it's okay to hug me, OFC it is, and were just there hugging and crying in the parking lot. It hit her hard though. Her legs gave out for a second so I had to actually hold her up while she's still hugging me for a minute. What really got me was her saying to me look how big you got. Also hearing her cry made me cry too. She went back to open the restaurant up, she wouldn't take no for an answer, we had coffee, ate a slice of their pie inside and

talked. So many stuff we talked about. She told me the second time I came to the restaurant she got a feeling but for her it was hard believe it was me. So that feeling she had was pushed way down. Because she told me for years after I was adopted she saw kids that would be my age and used to think they were me. Then she would be crying in public. It fucked with her mind a lot and made her depressed so she didn't want to do the same when she saw me, getting her hopes up like that. She says I look so much like my biological dad when he was younger, though. We talked about him too. They stayed in contact with each other in case I ever reached out to one of them so it would be easier to contact the other. I didn't have hope about finding my biological dad since he was

never mentioned so I'm glad they both planned for this future scenario. She told me about how they wanted to keep me, especially my biological dad, he didn't want me to be adopted. But he knew they had to because they were just kids. It took him a long time to get past it after I was born, she told me. That's why he didn't leave anything because he didn't want to believe he might not see me again. We talked for hours, till almost two in the morning. They closed at 11. She just wanted to know everything about me but her main thing was am I happy, were my parents good to me, did I have a happy childhood? And I did, I told her thank you for helping to give me this life. We both cried again. She cried the most, everything was very emotional for her. Sometimes she would look really

happy but then get sad again. After my 18th birthday she was hoping I would find her that's why she stayed in the same city. But since I didn't she always thought maybe I resented her, wasn't told I'm adopted, or maybe had decided it was better not to have her around. It made me feel bad for not telling her sooner. She told me it's not my fault and I did right going at my own pace. Honestly, she's so sweet. The way she kept looking at me with the biggest smile, it made me emotional sometimes. Makes you think how can someone who's been a total stranger her whole life look at you with so much love. It's wild, we learned so much about each other. She asked me if we could have dinner soon to keep talking. And if at some point in the future if I'm interested

come over to her house so I can meet her husband. That all sounded really great. We exchanged numbers. After I left, she sent a text telling me thank you for giving her this gift that she didn't know if it would ever come. My girlfriend came over and she hugged me while I cried. I wasn't sad by the way these were happy tears. Everything went better than I expected. There was still emotionally heavy stuff, but I'm still glad that we got to open up to each other. Update 2, meeting the dad, posted seven months ago. Met my biological dad for the first time ever and I'm very happy about it, update lots of you asked to let you know how it goes meeting my biological dad and to say it was emotional, is an understatement. I've been feeling so many

things since this all happened. We met a few days ago. Was originally supposed to be almost two weeks ago, but shit kept coming up, work and then I got sick, not COVID, for days, but we made it happen. T.B.H. This was more nervous for me because I didn't know anything about him. With my bio-mom it was different because I watched her from far and got to know her a little before it came out. I asked my bio-mom if she could be there too just because she knows him better so it was the two of us waiting for him at this park. He was already crying before we even got to him. This guy is strong too so he pulled me in for the biggest bear hug and crying, embarrassed smiley face. He told me he wants me to know that they loved me so much and he loves me, I lost count how many times.

he'd come back in for one more hug, this definitely got to him. And he kept saying, Thank you God a few times, looking at my face, the feelings man, the feelings. We had so many of them. Hearing him tell me how much they love me even back then. It meant so much for me to hear that an NGL that had me holding him tight too. I'm sure to everyone at the park it was weird seeing three crying people, LOL. My bio dad said he cried so many times. just driving over here he didn't think he had any more tears until he saw us. When we were all sitting down it hit me that my bio-mom was not lying when she said we look alike, smiley face, obviously he's older, but still holy shit the similarities.

He brought gifts to which was a surprise. It was really nice he told me I don't have to keep them if I don't want it, but he felt weird not coming with anything and he's wanted to give this to me for a long time. One was a teddy bear holding a picture frame of him at the hospital holding me. He was 15 years old, it's still crazy to realize that. And then the other thing was a journal. The journal thing was stuff he said he started writing to me years after I was adopted. He was in therapy and that that helped him to cope thinking he would give them to me one day.

His way of still feeling connected to me. I haven't read everything yet but some of the pages were his thoughts and like, if he's talking to me how he felt when they found out she was pregnant. Then the adoption, everything going on in his mind when he first got to hold me as a baby. I didn't even know he was at the hospital too. It was not what I was expecting. It really got me. I read some more of what he wrote last night that really got me crying.

I'm sad to think how much this affected them emotionally for years. Also think it's pretty sweet he wanted to write this for me. We talked about his own life, which was pretty hard. His struggles with home life and the feelings he had about giving me up. Then he wanted to know everything about me, basically with the same questions my bio-mom had. I made sure they knew they made the right decision. Because my life was pretty great. He looked like he wanted to cry when he knew that because that's all they hoped for

and it was something he always wondered about for years. My bio-mom left a bit after we were more comfortable so we could talk more in private once it didn't feel too awkward between us. From there he told me stories about how he met my bio-mom. Sometimes he'd point out stuff he noticed about me that reminds him of her or me and him having similar likes. Example, I love eating mangoes. I can eat them all day and that's what I bought when we bought snacks at the park. He told me my bio-mom was obsessed with it. mango's seven before she got pregnant. While pregnant she craved it even more. Just cool info to know

even if it's random stuff, LOL. It's still stuff we have in common and we both have lots, both like hiking, playing pool, he was a swimmer in college and I was on a swim team in high school, both love rock music, especially 90s. My bio dad was really open about sharing everything. Like he really was getting ready for this meeting. He hoped it would happen and he prayed every day to see me again because he had so many things he wanted to tell me, overall really good first meeting. I'm glad how it went, he's open to the idea of meeting my parents, after I told them about all this because they definitely want to meet my bio parents again if I'm comfortable with that. Obviously, if my bio parents are too. Let's see when that happens that I don't know how it's going to feel for me.

They've met each other before I was even born, but I never had them at this same. same place so that'll be interesting, LOL. Me and my parents met up yesterday to have breakfast so I could tell them everything. My mom was so happy how it went. She actually cried too when he I was telling them about both their reactions. My dad was proud because he knew how hard it was the months after finding my bio mom and not really wanting to make contact yet. I'm really happy to have their support because it's hard not to feel guilty about wanting

to know more my bio parents. They gave me a really good life so for a while it's felt like maybe to them I'm showing them that wasn't good enough for me and I'd rather have my bio parents, but they told me many times they want me to do this for me and they know how much I love them and I really do. Finding them and meeting them was hard, but it was so worth it to me, and seeing their reactions made it feel even more worth it, still can't believe it sometimes. I'm just realizing this has turned into a long post, my bad ha-ha, writing this has been very very very very. therapeutic TBH, kind of thinking back to everything that's happened, feeling really grateful, again want to say thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me, everyone who sent me their own stories, their love, their encouragement. You guys have beautiful hearts and I'm happy I had somewhere to talk about all this and

receive so much love back. Just want to say to all the adopted kids out there, I wish you guys luck and that you find what you're looking for, it's not easy at all, I feel fortunate that things didn't go badly or that my bio parents aren't bad people. And to all the birth parents out there who made this sacrifice, it's because of you there are kids out there like me who got to have a great life with loving parents, heart. Now on to the other story, story two.

Girl of my dreams that friends own me for years has finally come back into my life, but now I feel like I'm about to lose my best friend of nine years. When I was 15 I fell for a girl will call her Lily, she was my dad's best friend's daughter, we met when we were six and she's always been the person who has motivated me in life, even at a young age I felt like she was miles ahead of me in everything, she always seemed to have everything together, she was playing sports. Making good grades in school, had tons of friends, had a great connection with her family

and seemed so highly motivated. While me on the other hand before meeting her hardly could motivate myself to do anything. I think it's had a lot of my family. I think it's had a lot of to do with my troubled childhood, biological mother died giving birth to me and I think the whole experience really broke my father mentally, he remarried by the time I was two to a woman who pretty much treated me like dirt my entire life. It probably sounds ridiculous but meeting Lily really turned my life around. I picked up soccer and fell in love with the game, I worked hard in school and got my grades up and I just was always striving to be a better person like herself and we formed a great connection, when she turned 15 her dad took a job offer in New York,

we're from Maryland. I was always certain if they didn't move Lily and I would have dated, had kids and lived happily ever after. When Lily left I felt pretty lost we stayed in touch via texting and emailing, but it wasn't the same as in person. I met a girl Gabriel shortly after Lily left and we hit it off pretty well in high school. We quickly became best friends and due to my family situation I spent a lot of time with her, in many ways she reminded me of Lily, although they were different. I won't say we

were very romantically involved, but we did kiss on a few different occasions and she inevitably became my first though every time she got a boyfriend I respectively backed off giving them proper space for someone in a relationship. In college, during a couple of those times when Gabriel had a BF and I couldn't spend time with her I would catch the train to New York to watch Lily play soccer for her college team, like I said before we kept in touch be a text, but I never told her I would go watch her play. I felt it would be too hard for me to physically interact with her knowing the situation looking back I kind of regret it maybe we could have tried the long distance thing and started our exclusive dating sooner. Fast forward to now, I graduated college took a great

federal IT job opportunity with growth potential and one day our hiring manager brings in a new hire, I turned around and nearly fall out of my chair when I see that it's Lily, we basically pick back up right where we left off before she left nine years ago. Lily's best friend actually works in our office as well, she joined the team around the same time as me and I never realized they were friends, they often speak to each other in Korean, but don't know that I took enough courses in college and practicing on my own to understand Korean, although I'll admit can't speak it fluently. Her best friend is always teasing her about me and she often drops hints they, long story short, where started talking going to lunch dates and

hanging out outside of work, we play on a co-ed soccer team together, share similar values in life, financial goals, and all that good jazz, it's perfect. During the time after college and starting this job, Gabriel and I sort of lost contact we both got busy and worked in different cities, while I still considered us best friends we didn't hang out anymore just occasionally phone calls and texting every so often. After I explained my rekindled friendship with Lily over the phone and Gabriel nearly immediately began to seek a more serious relationship with me. She knows I've always had a thing for her, but it seems it took a couple bad relationships and nearly nine years of friendship for her to see what she had in front of her, in the gentlest way

possible I declined wanting to seek something more serious with her our timing had just passed really. I've pretty much explained everything about Gabriel to Lily. I don't want to hide anything from her and she gave me her honest opinion. It's clear that we like each other a lot. I'll go on and say I love her. No one else in the world in my eyes will ever compare to her personality, looks, safe and well-being everything. Can I or should I still be friends with Gabriel? She isn't a bad person in my eyes and I don't see anything particularly wrong with us, but I guess is it possible to even remaining friends with someone based on this situation. Despite our strange friendship over the years, many called it friends with benefits I never really personally left strung along, though that's how most of my friends saw it. Even though I liked and cared about her we never explicitly said let's try dating and honestly I think subconsciously always had Lily in the back of mind which made our friendship despite the periods where she had boyfriends okay with me. I've never been one with a lot of friends so the close ones I do have are quite special to me and she has been there in my

times of needs boyfriends or not. I guess what I'm trying to say, is it okay to be selfish for love and be with that one person that makes you feels the most alive in the entire world and disregarding all other conflicts and troubles of others even best friends to make yourself happy? Lily and I are officially a couple but I can't shake this awful feeling of guilt for Gabriel that I just ditched her as soon as the girl I've always wanted came back into my life. More info, I think my guilt comes from feeling like I did to Gabby what she did to me, while I never explicitly told her or anyone really that I was waiting around for Lily to come back into my life, I always assumed I'd never see her again or get to spend quality time with her.

Just like a pathetic or desperate afterthought that guys have about girls that they let slip out of their life on good terms, a friend that I went to college with, who knew me back before Lily left for New York, said, oh, I see you found yourself a temporary replacement when he saw Gabby with me in college being all touchy and feely. At that time, it got me pretty riled up, looking back I definitely regret how I acted though I've apologized profusely to him since then. I never saw her as a replacement, or at least my intentions weren't to have her replace anyone. In my head, I just saw her as a girl that happened to resemble a good friend of mine. I wanted to believe I thoroughly enjoyed it. enjoyed her company and the good times we had together.

At the end of the day, I'll honestly never really be sure. And though it might sound cruel, I don't think I'll ever get the chance to find out. Finally, reading through the comments, it's pretty clear that what Gabby and I had wasn't really as good of a friendship as I thought it was. I think the worst part is it's what my friends have been telling me for years, but I kind of refuse to listen. I think I might have been blinded by my attraction to her or the slim thought that maybe I was more to her than just a guy to lean on when she was lonely. Every time I would mention it or bring it up to her, she would just sweep it under the rug with some sweet talk or cutesy act, and I'd be right back to square one. Thank you all for the real eye-opener. Update, the girl of my dreams 24F has finally come back into my life, 24M, but now I feel like I'm about to lose my problem.

best friend, 23F, of nine years. Gabby reached out to me last Friday via text and asked if I could meet up with her for some coffee or something. I won't lie I was extremely apprehensive, despite originally being so dead set on saving our friendship, but I talked it over with Lily and she told me that I had nothing to worry about. She wasn't worried about me and Gabby she believed that I should hear what she had say at the very least, so reluctantly I agreed to meet with her even though my gut told me I probably shouldn't. It's not like I thought anything would happen, it's just. Saying no to someone over the phone or through a text is far less difficult than in person. We met up a small cafe a few blocks from her apartment. She was already sitting there when I arrived

and I was so nervous to see her, but I went in and sat down anyways. She could clearly tell how nervous I was and at first seemed to have no problem take every bit of advantage of it. We sat in silence for the first five minutes or so, but she kept giving me this look a look she used to give me when we'd go to parties together, a hey, I'm horny and bored let's go back to my place and kind of look. I couldn't even look away from her, but eventually got up from the table and told her that I wasn't here for that. I felt her tug on my sleeve and when I looked back she had already began to cry. So I sat back down and listened as she started confessing that she hoped the day would

never come that I find someone special in my life other than her and that she deeply regretted taking my company and affection for granted while she had it. I'd always be her biggest regret. She apologized for everything that she had done, all the years of leading me on, pushing to the side to date other guys and then pulling me back in when no one was there for her. I tried to apologize as well for my end of the hardship and the way things ended, but she abruptly stopped me at this getting very emotional once again. She told me to promise her that I'd never let anyone do to me what she ultimately did to me

and to value myself and not to let my kindness and fair nature be abused and walked over. After her little breakdown she got herself together and we talked a bit more about the past, the present and future goals and just kind of talked about whatever came up. Before I left she told me that today was her last day here, that she took a job in Canada and would be catching a flight later today so that she could be closer to family and with her mom again. She also asked that I remove her number from my phone and that she would do the same, it seemed extreme at the time, but I did it anyways, maybe it was for the best. We stopped at my car and hugged one last time and wished her the best in life before

watching her walk away for the last time. A little anticlimatic or weird, but that's how our friendship ended. I guess in the long run all I needed to do was wait long enough, but who really knows? I don't feel sad or disappointed in the way it ended and like I said it's probably the best and I'm honestly satisfied with the closure. As for Lily and I, looking back at my original post I didn't make it as clear as a dot I should. We've been dating since the end of January and it's been going great. It was never really about Gabby versus Lily, my answer was always Lily.

But more that I just didn't know if I should keep trying to force a friendship based on nine years of prior history. Also it turns out it's not as much as a one-sided crush as I originally thought with Lily, her friend, the one I work with, gleefully told me the embarrassing story

of how Lily asked her to tabs up on me, which eventually led to Lily looking for a job back in Maryland instead of New York where she graduated. While I wasn't the only reason she came back apparently, I played a pretty big part in it which makes me happy. Thanks for all the advice, while the issue eventually sorted itself out, the comments were really an eye-opener

as to what I actually went through over the years. It was really nice get some unbiased opinions on what I should do. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner of half a year erupted in anger when I didn't include him in my close friend's marriage celebration, accused me of infidelity, attempted to physically restrain me, and had his companion insult me. I, 25F, have been seeing my now boyfriend, 27M, who will call Joe, for about six months now. We made it official three months into dating so I like to say he's only officially been my boyfriend for three months.

My best friend, who will call Anne, is getting married next month. I'm one of her bride's maids. It's a small destination wedding, only about 40 close friends the bridal party is set to arrive about four days before the actual wedding to do bachelor slash bachelorette stuff. The issue came up yesterday morning when my boyfriend started asking what time my flight was for the wedding week. I didn't think much of it and told him. He came back about 10 minutes later and said he'd have to go on a different flight because he couldn't find one on the same airline or at the same time. I didn't understand why he was looking at flights. I asked him if he was planning on going on a solo or guy's trip while I was gone since I wouldn't be around. He looked confused and

then said he was looking for flights for the wedding. I then proceeded to tell him, trying to be as gentle as possible, that I wasn't planning on a plus one and the guest list was already finalized. He has only ever met an over-face time since she lives in a different state from us. After telling him, he exploded at me. Honestly, it was a total 180 from his usual behavior. He said it was insensitive of me to not ask for A plus one because we've been together for so long now, that I was purposefully excluding him and trying to keep him a secret. He ranted and talked in a circle and I just sat there in shock.

What snapped me out of the days was when he insinuated that I would likely cheat with one of the groom's men. That's when I got up, got my shit, and started walking out of his place. He freaked out even more and said we needed to talk about this and I couldn't walk out on him. He tried to grab me twice, but I shoved him off. Since I last night, I haven't spoken to him. He's been blowing up my phone with calls and texts that I don't reply to. Even put him on Do Not Disturb because it was so annoying. I was pretty solid in believing I wasn't T.A. but one of his best friends,

got my number and texted me I was being petty and a female dog about everything. That I lead Joe on for six months. I haven't talked to anyone about this since I wanted to cool down before I got a second opinion. But now that his friend is texting men, I feel like I handled it all poorly. I know I need space right now, but I don't want to ghost Joe, which his friend implied I'm now doing. So I've come here to get some unbiased opinions. fellow Redditors, I asked you now if I am TA for not having my boyfriend be a plus one to my best friend's wedding. Edit, to clarify, we don't live together.

I just spend the night at his place sometimes. Edit 2, in our last conversation last night I texted him that I needed some space to breathe to which he then just kept calling in texting. Edit 3, because people keep acting like Joe is a secret, he has met my other friends. He hasn't met an in-person because she lives in a different state. Across the country to be exact. They've only met through FaceTime. I've met his parents and friends. He hasn't met mine because they moved back to Mexico two years ago.

He has met them over FaceTime. Edit 4, his friend saying lead him on was leading him to believe he was invited comments. Upped to multiple comments on why she is not having her boyfriend as her plus one to the the wedding. Boop, I accepted the wedding invite long before we met. This wedding invite didn't just recently happen. Plus main reason for why I never asked for a plus one is because Joe and I had only just started seeing each other when the wedding was being planned. A lot went into it because it's a destination wedding in Europe plus I'm not meaning to dismiss it. I'm pointing out that's why I'm not having a plus one unlike the other groomsmen and bridesmaids. They have been with their

partners for years and personally no end. Joe has only ever met her over FaceTime Plus also there's a lot more than just buying a ticket. I said earlier that this wedding was planned months before we met and planned a lot of things for this wedding that are catered to the fact there's a limited guest list. Again. I would have been fine to explain all this but again. I never got a chance to plus this wedding wasn't a secret. He was even aware of it when we first started seeing each other because I just done dress shopping. Again. This wedding was very planned out because it is indeed very small and private in France. He's also met Anne and her fiancé over FaceTime. Not in person because she's in a different state. He's met my other friends as well. He hasn't met

my parents because they live in a different country. Chibi underscore Beaver. NTA. I don't think three months is a long enough time frame to include someone as a plus one to a wedding, especially one with such a small guest list. If it was a wedding close by that's different but destination weddings objectively take more planning and throwing and a last-minute guest might irritate the bride and groom. His reaction is definitely a massive red flag, although I do think you should have discussed this with him beforehand and explained the reasoning. Country Boy 1101. From what you wrote above I would say NTA. Since it has only been six months of dating, I expect that you were just started dating when the wedding invites came out and the RSVP was made that you were a party

of one. If his name was not on the original wedding invite and you did not ask for him to be added, then he is not invited to the wedding. I would say his reaction would be a huge red flag for me and am accusing you of using this away time to cheat would be a deal breaker for me after only six months. I would call him and tell him that his reaction was a deal breaker, and it would be best to end the relationship now and move on. Update, the general consensus was that I wasn't T.A. Unfortunately, the original post got taken down on the main IDA sub but is still up on the other. Still posting the update on both, though. Some of y'all had some stuff to say about me saying I need help communicating because I shouldn't have walked out. Have your opinions, but never

let someone scream at you and just sit there and take it. I'm realizing that's emotional abuse. About why I never pushed to have a plus one. When the wedding planning was starting, Joe and I had not met. By the time we met and made things official, the wedding planning was finalized. I never hid the wedding from Joe or the fact it was very small. Someone said most normal people plan on bringing their sow to a wedding. Maybe that's true. But never automatically assume that since your so is invited to something, you'll be going too. The wedding was heavily pre-planned because again, it's a destination wedding. And is originally from France and primary reason why it's a destination wedding.

I talked to and about this shortly after posting and she agreed that I'm not T.A. She said if the roles were reversed, she'd never expect her so of less than a year be invited to an important event. So, on Friday, I texted Joe A.m. asking to meet up Saturday morning to have a discussion about everything. This morning he tried to get us to meet at my place, but instead, I got him to agree to meet at a local cafe. A lot of you brought up how he tried to grab me and that's a big sign that he could get more physical in the future. I didn't want anything to be left to chance. He got there early and tried to hug me, which I didn't allow. I got the ick at the thought

of him hugging me. We did a bit of small talk but got pretty much to the point once we sat down. He did apologize for blowing up but in the same breath said I shouldn't have left. I countered that he shouldn't have tried to physically stop me from leaving, twice. He said what else was he supposed to do? That set the tone for the whole conversation. He went on to say me just walking away was a clear indication that I didn't respect him. I then pointed out that he was not letting me explain why he wasn't invited. This is when we started talking in circles. I told him how the wedding was being planned long before we met. How by the time we mutually agreed to be exclusive, they had everything finalized,

especially the guest list. He said I should have asked for and to change it anyway. I asked him if I ever gave him the impression he'd be attending. He was silent for a while and then admitted he just assumed that since he was now my boyfriend, I would have told and to invite me. I told him then wouldn't I have said something if you're not. I told him then wouldn't I have said something if he was invited in the past three months. I realized that we weren't getting anywhere. I told him I wanted to break up. To paraphrase, I said something along the lines of. I understand you are hurt that I didn't invite you. I am sorry that we didn't have a clearer conversation. I do wish that we could have had a calmer conversation. However, I don't feel

safe in this relationship because of how you reacted. I don't think this relationship is good, for either of us if you feel betrayed and I feel unsafe. He didn't take that well. Joe's response was if we broke up, I wasn't getting my stuff back. I told him I didn't care. Because honestly, if he wants to keep some of my underwear and use toothbrush, okay. I then asked him to not have his friends text me too. He then went from pleading to have another chance to accusing me of never wanting him. I just stood up, told him I wished him best, and left. Ended up going for a two-hour run when I got home because I still felt stressed. Blocked his number, his friends, blocked his Instagram, deleted the pictures of us on my feed.

Changed my Facebook status to single. Had a cry and have been watching Netflix since. Something I learned from this your first fight with your partner tells you everything about them. Our first fight told me Joe was explosive. Maybe if he hadn't blown up, we would still be together. Not gonna dwell on it though. I know it's good I got out while you can because as a lot of you pointed out, the fact he kept trying to overpower me twice as a lot.

I'm honestly glad I broke it off. As some of you said, it took him six months to show his true colors. Can't imagine if he did come and then a year later, I find out he's like this and have to look at wedding photos with a guy who is fine blowing up. I'm going to stay single for a while now. I have a wedding to look forward to.

My focus is on supporting Anne and making sure she has the best wedding ever. I may update when the wedding happens to let you guys know how it goes and if Joe tried anything else. Thank you again to everyone for their opinions. Comments, Patch and, don't forget to always see who is at your door before you open it. Keep yourself safe. Good for you, darling. Have a wonderful time at the wedding. Congrats to Anne.

Hope they have a long marriage with no crazy. I'm dying RN-123 op. Thank you I do have a dog and a roommate so that's some extra security already. The roommate and I talked before about getting a ring camera but this experience and other comments have solidified us getting one. Beneficial nose 5447. I have to say I'm proud of you. And this is why I say this is what dating is for. This is the interview process and so as you was going along with it, you seem he wasn't the candidate for you and you cut him loose.

Good for you. All the other people are going to say, you know the naysayers listen, they just want somebody by their side to say they love them because they have no self-love or self-esteem for their internal selves. That's all their opinions and stuff lack of love and lack of self-esteem. Have fun at the wedding have a hookup if you want, but have fun. Adventurous underscore chip 9036 NTA Normal people don't blow up on their significant other because of an assumption icing on the cake was him accusing you of playing him the whole time because you told him you felt unsafe.

I'd how to explain it but all I know is all signs point to him being a narcissistic manipulator. I get people losing their temper and I can be pretty forgiving, but one, trying to grab someone, no, and two, doubling down. That's when someone shows who they really are. We all have bad moments. It's how we react after those bad moments that makes us who we really are. This guy is a giant walking red flag. Ninja Baba Mama and having his friends harass her through texts. Sun Moon Truth, calling her a female dog. She seems to have stumbled upon a nest of Incels. Waffles 020. I had a destination wedding. My save the dates were sent out about 18 months in advance, invites a year in advance,

and my guest list was fully finalized at least six months out as everyone who was attending had booked their flights. Two of my bridesmaids got into new relationships around a few months out from my wedding. They never asked me for a plus one and their partners never took issue with it. In fact, those two bridesmaids ended traveling for several weeks together. after the wedding. Sorry but destination weddings take time to plan, people can't just decide to attend last minute. Upp totally did the right thing, he was a walking red flag with his reaction. Additional meeting underscore 2, there is a reason why only married couples always have to be

invited and engaged couples if they have been for a while. It's really hard to keep up with other people's relationships and people often break up or start dating between sending invites and the wedding. I mean these days it's more blurred because people live together before marriage long times. And some just have money and can give plus ones to everyone. But not everyone needs a invite because they are dating. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Hired a private investigator and caught my fiancé cheating with her boss weeks before our over-budget dream wedding, so I got her fired and dodged a financial bullet. When I, 27 male, met my fiancé, 25 female, for years ago, I knew right away that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She was everything that I

had been looking for. We'd only been dating for a year when I proposed. We've been engaged for three years. The long engagement has caused some trouble for us. One of the biggest issues is that she wanted to plan her dream wedding, which subsequently would cost us quite a bit of money. I've never been one to care about superficial things like that. I would be more than happy going to the courthouse, signing some papers, then spending all of the wedding money on our honeymoon. However, she had always dreamt of her big day and she wanted a big wedding with no compromise. It felt like every other week the budget we set aside for the wedding had increased or she was telling me that she had gone over and was apologizing for it.

At some point, I noticed that her apologies were meaningless because she continued to go over. We were getting into a lot of arguments and there was a bit of resentment brewing between us. I'd had enough of her constant disregard for the financial constraints of the wedding, so I sat her down intending to have a calm, reasonable conversation with her. She was immediately very defensive and told me that she wasn't sure if she could be with someone who was controlling. I was upset that she had accused me of being controlling when all I was doing was standing up for myself when she was taking advantage of me. After the fight, she ended up leaving and staying at her friend's house for a week while we figured things out. Honestly, I thought it might have been the end for us.

I was heartbroken. She was my dream girl and I cared so much about her. She eventually came back and we had a long discussion about the wedding. We both agreed that we still want. wanted to be together, but we needed to set some boundaries. We also agreed that we would move forward with what we had for the wedding and halt all further planning. That was the only compromise on the issue I would allow since we were already over budget by 50% and had 150 people invited. We fell back into our old patterns with each other and it seemed like our temporary break in

discussion actually helped our relationship. The wedding was only a few months away and we were doing well. As we got closer to the wedding date, some of the stressors started to come back for us. My fiancé's coping mechanism with the stress was to throw herself into her work. She's a graphic designer and very creatively inclined, so it helped alleviate the stress. So, instead of being home with me, she was at work. She started spending more and more time at work. It felt avoidant, which was unlike her. I was curious about why she was there so much, so I asked her one night when she came home.

She just told me that it was a good way to escape and forget about all of it. I didn't understand why she still wanted to go through with the huge wedding if it was stressing her out so much, but I didn't ask about that. Around the same time, I noticed that she was wearing more makeup and more revealing clothes to work. I had nothing against her dressing in a way that she felt confident. But she normally wore long pants, boots, and sweaters to work because she was always complaining about how cold she was while she was there. Suddenly she was wearing sleeveless blouses showing cleavage and skirts. It was odd.

I tried not to worry about it, but honestly, I've seen a ton of those in my The Jerk videos and stories exposing cheaters. So a lot of the things she was doing were raising red flags for me. I needed to find out if something was going on before the wedding. I didn't want to be married to her and then find out she was with an ex or something after we were legally attached. I did some snooping on my own, but didn't find anything. One thing I've always known about liars is that they're good at hiding their lies. So, I justified hiring a private investigator to follow her. I reached out to someone who specializes in infidelity and they agreed to take the case.

I could only afford to pay them for a few days because the wedding was depleting a lot of my savings. The first day, they didn't find anything. She went to work and went home with no issue. I thought that maybe I was overreacting, but my gut told me not to call the private investigator off. The next day, I was glad I trusted my gut. My fiancé texted me about midway through the day that she would be staying late at the office. She said that she was helping a co-worker with some excess work they had before a due date. However, the evidence the private investigator brought back to me told a different story.

They emailed me over a file with videos and pictures of my girlfriend with her boss in his office. They were having sex right on his desk, while other employees were in the office. I just remember staring at the computer screen until it turned itself off. I was so shocked by what I saw. When I collected myself, I started to think about my options. There was absolutely no chance I was going through with the wedding. But I needed to figure out how to end it. I wanted a little revenge on her for cheating on me.

An idea hit me, so before I acted on it I packed up some of my stuff and texted my brother to see if I could stay with him. When I got to his house, I drafted an email to our entire wedding guest list. In the email, I told them all it was canceled. and attached the evidence of my fiancé's affair. Surprisingly, I got several responses back from relatives, co-workers, and friends about it. What surprised me the most, which I didn't even realize at the time, was that my fiancé's hour manager was on the list.

She reached out to me and asked about details because it was something she was obligated to act on because it was clearly on company property. I told her everything I knew. My fiancé figured out I was with my brother and came to his house, banging on the door. She was fuming at me, but I stood my ground and ended it. I told her I was contacting the venue, vendors, and everyone else involved in the wedding and having all of my money refunded to me. I felt bad when she was crying in front of me, but then I remembered how she cheated on me

and I didn't anymore. She and her boss were both fired for their inappropriate relations on the job. She tried to call me and tell me that I was still obligated to pay for the apartment even though I didn't live there, but I managed to work something out with the apartment complex to pay for one month and get off the lease. I think they were just willing to work with me because of the situation. My now ex-fiancee was forced to move out because she lost her job and couldn't afford rent on her own because she dumped what little she had in savings into a wedding that never happened.