Reddit Stories - Episode #18 - Stories to Calm Down and Sleep AITA and Confessions ( Over 9 Hour Compilation )

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

#redditstories #sleep #sleepstories #bedtimestories #fallasleep #aita #confessions #relaxingstories #sleepcompilation Unwind with Episode 18 – Stories to Calm Down and Sleep. This 9-hour soothing compilation blends AITA tales and heartfelt confessions from Reddit, crafted to ease your mind, slow your thoughts, and help you drift effortlessly into deep, peaceful sleep through calm storytelling and gentle narration. Tags: redditstories, sleepstories, fallasleep, bedtimestories, relaxingconfessions, aitastories, calmstories, soothingnarration, peacefulsleep, relaxingpodcast, bedtimeaudio, emotionalconfessions, unwindstories, sleepbetter, nightrelaxation, sleepnarration, peacefulmind, longcompilation, sleeplisteningBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Delivered twins and put on weight, my grinder continued to make remarks and presented me with a scale as a birthday present. I misplaced it and departed with the infants. Presently my husband wants me to apologize. Recently, I gave birth to twins, and obviously, that has led to a bit of weight gain. I've spoken to the professionals and they have assured me that this is completely natural and normal after a pregnancy, especially after twins. And soon enough, with a proper diet and regular exercise, I'll be able to come back to my original size.

To be honest, I'm not even very concerned about that, since I used to be really thin earlier and I think putting on a bit of weight has been good for me. Besides, right now, my primary goal is to be a good mother to my children, no matter what weight I am at. But I don't think my mother-in-law agrees with it since she has made it very clear that she doesn't want me at this size right now. Agnes, my mother-in-law, used to be a model so she's pretty conscious about her appearance and that's great. I find it wonderful that even at her age, she always takes great care of herself. But for her to expect the same of me, especially after I have given birth to twins, I think that's a bit unrealistic and I was really upset for the past couple of weeks because she kept insisting that I needed to lose weight. I was getting annoyed by my husband's family anyway because they kept visiting every other day and my mother-in-law had practically made a home

in our house. So this meant that I barely got any alone time and I was forced to entertain guests all day long for the past three weeks. I tried to be polite about it, but my husband felt that it was normal for his family to want to come over all the time since his family loved him and they couldn't believe that he was a father now, so they wanted to meet the baby as soon as possible as well. I could understand that his family was excited, but I feel like it shouldn't be the norm to keep visiting a woman who has just given birth since I'm honestly just exhausted right now. Anyway, I was pretty annoyed by the fact that Agnes was visiting every day already, and instead of helping me out, she would expect me to do everything around the house and she thought that

she was doing me a favor by looking after the kids instead. I thought it was kind of unfair since I was the one who was their mother, so if she really wanted to help me she should have taken care of the other chores and let me look after my babies. That was bad enough as it is and on top of that, she just kept taking poutchats at me about my weight. The rest of my husband's family found it funny but I did not and neither did my parents, who told me that I had to stand up to these people and make sure that they didn't behave this way with me. The problem with me is that, by nature, I'm a really non-confrontational person and I find

it very difficult to talk about what's bothering me, but after my parents visited me, I decided to tell my husband that I was not fine with his mother making an issue of my weight so publicly and neither was I fine with her or his family visiting us every day. That led to an argument since he believed that I was being unreasonable. He said that I'm not very close to my family, which is why they didn't visit that often and it was kind of true, but another reason that they didn't visit that often was because I had been very clear that I needed some time to myself with the babies before I was ready to entertain guests.

I tried to explain to him that these frequent visits from his family were making me irritable and I was exhausted from dealing with them, but he turned around on me and made it sound like I was being selfish. And I am not really in a condition to keep fighting and arguing, so I let that one go and drop the argument, even though I shouldn't have. Because I guess that's what led to this incident that took place a couple of days back, on my birthday. I had specifically told my husband that I did not want a birthday party, I just wanted to spend the day alone with him and the kids.

And I thought that since it was my birthday, he would respect it, but unfortunately, that's not how the situation played out. I spent the morning at my parents' place since they had invited me for birthday lunch and that's a ritual that we follow every year. Usually, my husband also accompanies me, but this year, he said that he was feeling a bit under the weather and that he wanted to stay home. Around the evening, when I finally came back home, my husband had invited his entire family and a bunch of our friends to the house to surprise me. This was exactly what I didn't want, but since they were already. I decided to put on a happy face and pretend that I had the energy to deal with this. I was really tired and I just wanted to nap, but after I had cut the cake, Agnes told me that it was

time to unwrap the presents and even though I told her that I wanted to get some rest, she insisted that I do it and I opened hers first. I was too tired to put up a fight, so I did what she asked just to get it over with and I completely flipped out when I unwrapped her present to me and realized that she had given me a weighing machine. For the past couple of weeks, ever since I had given birth, I had found my husband and his family increasingly more annoying to deal with, but this was just the last straw for me. Agnes had been the worst of all, constantly bringing up how much weight I had put on, and that I had to shed it off all quickly and this was what finally tipped me over the edge. I started freaking

out at her, and I really gave her a peace of my mind. I had stayed quiet for long enough, but once I started yelling at her, I just couldn't bring myself to stop and let it all out. I told her that she had no business talking about my body, especially after I had given birth to the grandchildren that she constantly came over to see, without even bothering to ask if I would be okay with it. Then I yelled at her for a bit about how she had become an absolute nuisance to deal with since she never helped me out whenever she came over and expected me to do all the menial tasks, while she got to play with the kids that I had carried for nine months. I said a lot of other things as well before I asked her to get out of my house and kicked her out of the party,

and I also told my husband's family that after this party, I did not want them visiting me at all until I'd specifically invited them. I was absolutely furious and I did not care in the slightest about what they thought of me, I just wanted them all to leave me alone with my babies. After yelling at them, I didn't even bother speaking to my husband and just went to the bedroom with the babies and went to sleep. I did wake up quite a few times after that, but my husband was nowhere to be found. I was kind of worried, but I was also really upset.

so I did not even call him. It wasn't until the next morning that I finally saw him again, and when I asked him where he had been, he told me that he had spent the night at a friend's place because, after my outburst, he did not feel like staying with me. He seemed upset and I felt a little bad about my behavior as well since I had really insulted him and his family the night before. But I had been pushed to the edge, so I couldn't say that it was all my fault.

Anyway, I thought that we could discuss it and talk it out, but instead, he told me that his mother was really upset about everything. And the worst part was that now, both he and Agnes expected me to apologize to her for my behavior because she was an elderly woman, and she had never been humiliated like that before. They also felt like I had overreacted since she was only trying to look out for my health. So here's a couple of things about Agnes, she's just 54.

That doesn't count as elderly at all, at least not in my books. and she has always been very weird about people's appearances, very judgmental and snarky. In fact, sometimes I feel like the only reason she was so nice to me before I got pregnant was because I fit her idea of what an attractive woman should look like. Like I said, I was really naturally skinny and she had complimented me on that several times. If I'm being honest, it feels like she's obsessed with being thin and maybe that has something to do with the fact that she used to be a model in her early 20s before she became a mother. But I'm not a model and neither am I planning on becoming one anytime soon.

So I don't understand why I have to be that thin as well. Also, if she really was concerned about my health and well-being, then she wouldn't have put me in a position where I had to entertain guests all the time without any help and do all the work around the house while she just played with the kids. She would have actually done something to make sure that I wasn't under a lot of stress and would have at least helped me out around the house. In fact, even with the kids, she would literally just play with them. But when it came to feeding them or changing the diapers, she would call for me.

So I wasn't buying the fact that she was only looking out for my health. Since then, she would have actually done something to help and not just nitpick at my weight. And if my doctor thinks that I'm at a healthy weight, then I don't understand why she thinks that her opinion matters more. So when my husband told me that I had to apologize to Agnes, because she was a good woman. really upset, it really rubbed me the wrong way. He had already screwed up after I had given birth by never bothering to think about what I was going through, and forcing me to constantly put up with his family. But I had done it all with a smile on my face because I wanted to make it work with him. After the party, though, I had realized where his priorities were and it was a bit of a reality

check for me, that I desperately needed. It was evident that for him, his family came first and I came second and I wasn't ready to deal with that anymore. So I didn't even fight with him when he said that he wanted me to apologize to Agnes. I just quietly got up and went to my bedroom and started packing my stuff. He didn't bother to follow me, he stayed in the living room, and after a while, when I was done packing, I decided to take the kids with me and go live with my parents. I could have left without saying goodbye, but I decided to tell him exactly where I was going, and I said that if he wanted to be a mama's boy then he was free to do so, but it was unfair of him to expect me to put up with his family. I told him that he had been really disrespectful towards me and what I wanted and the fact that after the party,

he had just left and the kids on our own showed us exactly how little he cared for us. So now, I wanted him to contact me only when he was serious about his family, and I meant the family that he had chosen, not the one he was born in. He didn't say much to me, only that he would expect me to let him come visit the kids whenever he wanted, but unless I apologize to Agnes and the rest of the family, he had no intention of making things right with me. So I could live with my parents for as long as I wanted to, but he was not going to tolerate this kind of behavior. And then, I left and for the past three days, I've been staying with my parents. They know the situation and they think that I should think about getting a divorce, but right now, I'm not really sure what to do. Because he has been a common occurrence with my husband, I wouldn't have thought twice before leaving. But that's the catch, we have been together for almost six years and married for three and he has never behaved like this.

He has always been very attached to his family, especially his mother since his father was always too busy for him. And their relationship had only become stronger after my father-in-law passed away last year. That had never been an issue for me, though, since he had always treated me well. This change in his behavior that has taken place after he became a father, that's what I don't understand. It feels like he doesn't care about me at all, even though during my pregnancy, he had treated me like I was the Queen of England. And this is what I'm constantly bumping up against because even if I want to leave him for his behavior right now, I can't stop thinking about the fact that he never used to be like this before and it might be crazy, but I've been considering the fact that maybe I'm actually the one at fault here.

I've heard about plenty of cases of postpartum depression where women become increasingly irritable and have bouts of anxiety and stuff. So maybe I can't see that I'm being unreasonable, but he can and maybe he's right. But at the same time, given the circumstances, I hardly think that my anger is unjustified. If I speak to my friends or my parents about this, I'm sure that they are going to be on my side. So that's going to be a little pointless. And so I've come to Reddit to ask for help so I can make sure that I'm not being selfish and unreasonable like my husband believes, and that I actually do have caused to be mad. So I'd have for kicking my mother-in-law out for talking about my weight and telling my husband's family that I don't want them visiting me right now?

Update 1. Hi, everyone. So it has been two days since I posted and I've been really conflicted about what to do because most people in the comments said that I shouldn't reach back out to him and that I should speak to a lawyer immediately. And I told my parents about it, they suggested the same thing as well and put me in touch with an attorney. But it just didn't feel right for me to file for a divorce before at least giving him one last chance to at least explain himself. I was about to contact him, but, thankfully, he came to me himself. Now, we were not exactly able to make up, but at least we had a discussion. Last evening, he came by to see the kids and it was very awkward, but the babies seemed happy enough to see him. He played with them for a while and then he started talking to me since I had stayed in the room.

My parents had the good sense to go to their bedroom and leave us alone as soon as he came over, in case we wanted to discuss anything. Anyway, both of us were much calmer yesterday and were able to actually have a dignified and civil discussion rather than just one of us walking away angrily. I told him that his recent behavior had made me feel very confused because so far, he had always shown great care for my feelings but right now, it felt like it didn't matter to him. It felt like he only cared about his family and nothing else, not even me. It was very difficult for me to take it because I was the mother of his kids. I felt like that demanded a certain amount

of respect and care. I also told him that the way Agnes had behaved with me and the way she had been pushing me to lose weight just three weeks after I had given birth to twins, was ridiculous, and he should have taken a stand for me instead of defending it. He was silent for a couple of minutes, and then he said that he wanted to apologize for not taking a stand for me when it came to Agnes. He was just very confused, but he had to come to the realization that his mother had been wrong for constantly pushing me to lose weight. Apparently, the night that I had kicked her out of my party, she had called him later on, and she had been sobbing on the phone, which is why he had felt so terrible about the way I had behaved with his mother and thought that I should apologize to her.

But then, he had thought about it for a while and realized that Agnes actually had been quite pushy about the weight thing and she had brought it upon herself. So maybe I didn't need to apologize for it and he had to tell me that he had spoken to Agnes, and she was mad so she wouldn't be saying to me any time soon, but he wanted to say that he was sorry. He also told me that he was sorry for not realizing this earlier. He had genuinely thought that Agnes only cared about my health and that's why she wanted me to lose weight, but giving me a weighing machine and forcing me to owe. it in front of that many people was humiliating and she shouldn't have done that. So I was glad that at least he had come to his senses regarding his mother and was apologizing for it. But that was not all that I wanted to talk about. We also needed to talk about the fact that he had not treated me as well as I deserved to be lately. And by that, I meant the fact that he had continued to constantly force his family's presence on me, even though I had made it very clear

that I wanted to be on my own for a while with just him and the kids since I was exhausted, and that meant both emotionally and physically. I guess I had mentioned in my original post that I had brought it up with him earlier as well, and he had argued with me, calling me selfish for wanting to keep him and our kids away from his family. I didn't want to drag out that fight,

so I dropped it, but since it had become a bit of an issue in our relationship, I brought it up once again. This time, I had no intention of dropping it until it was sorted out. He had apologized about the thing with Agnes, but here, he told me that he did not think he was wrong. Apparently, his family was really excited that he had become a father

and it was a huge deal for everyone. That's not very surprising because right from his childhood, he has kind of been the darling of his family, and that is meant that I have also been showered with a lot of love and affection by them. But whenever they would come over in the past three weeks, it would only be me who would have to sacrifice time with my babies to entertain them and occasionally cook for them, and even though it might not have seemed like a lot of work to him, it took a toll on me. And I told him that it was not fair, since neither he nor his mother had been of any help to me. Even though he had started working from home, he barely did any of the household chores anymore because he was always busy with the kids, and that responsibility fell on me. As for Agnes,

I have already said that she never did anything around the house, and one came over to play with the kids, and didn't even help me out with changing them and stuff. So I was pretty upset about that as well. Here, though, he said that he could understand that it had become a lot of work for me, but it was unfair of me to expect him to tell his family that they were not allowed to come over at all. All of them were very excited and he did not want a squash, which is why he had argued with me. And I'm not very close with my family, apart from my parents, so my relatives had only video called me to congratulate me and see the babies, but hadn't visited so far.

Part of the reason for that was, that I had specifically instructed them not to come over right now and that I would tell them when I was ready to have visitors. I tried to explain to my husband that no matter how much they loved us, it was very important to have boundaries as well, but he refused to understand what I was getting at. He just kept insisting that his family was doing this out of love, not just for him, but also for me and the babies. And I couldn't overlook that, since that would be disrespectful.

They were a very close-knit family and since I had always known it, he didn't understand why I was making a big deal of it right now. After one point, it started feeling like we were just talking in circles, so I told him that there was clearly no point in discussing this further. We hadn't been able to come to a conclusion about this problem that we were facing, since he strongly believed that he was right and I think that I am right. So I told him that I needed some more time to think about what I wanted to do right now and that until then, I would be staying with my parents. As of now, I have put each and every thought of getting a divorce on hold. because I really want to do right by my kids and at this moment, I'm not sure what that would mean. A divorce is a big deal and once I get involved, I can never go back.

So whatever I have to do, I have to think about it very carefully and I don't want to make a mistake. This is why I have decided that I'm going to take my time and talk about this to my husband, a couple of times more. And if we are still not able to come to a conclusion that works for both of us, then I might but I'm treating that as a last option right now. Update 2. Hey, so two days ago, my husband visited me and I'm still thinking about what I want to do. But a couple of hours ago, I did receive a text from Agnes, and that was quite surprising because she was actually apologizing to me. Of course, the tone was very passive-aggressive, and it was very obvious to me that she didn't really want to apologize, but she still did. Even if it was just for the sake of maintaining a civil relationship, she did. She told me that she had heard from her

son that I had left home with the kids and she knew that she was part of the reason that I had done this, so she felt like it was her responsibility to try and make this right. Personally, I don't agree with her, this is between me and my husband and maybe she was a part of the reason why we had a fight in the first place, but she can't exactly help us sort this out. Anyway, she said that she really didn't want us to separate because that might not be the best move for the kids. Again, I can't agree with that because I think if we separate right now, it might be better for them in the long run because they'll never have known us as a couple in the first place. I think that's a better alternative than sticking together, being toxic for a couple of years, and then traumatizing

both our children before we eventually part ways. Anyway, I'm not thinking about a divorce right now, so that doesn't actually apply. Regardless of that, Agnes apologized and said that if this helped the situation, she would be glad to say that she was sorry about how she treated me. even though she is still going to maintain that she was only trying to look out for my health and make sure that I didn't compromise my well-being. She claimed that he came from an era where being skinny was considered the healthiest and maybe she was mistaken, but that's what she had been raised to believe, and she had been imposing on me, which was wrong.

If I'm being frank, her apology was all over the place and it was kind of contradictory in itself, but hey, at least I received one and that's something to think about. I'm not sure if my husband had put her up to this or not, but it doesn't matter. Like I said, my relationship with my husband does not depend on her apology. I replied to Agnes and told her that it was fine, that I forgive her and I'm still thinking about what I want to do about the situation with my husband, but I'm thankful that she took the initiative to apologize to me. But yes, I still have no idea what to do so some advice would be greatly welcome. Update 3, hey, it has been two weeks since I left home and for the past two weeks,

my husband and I have been talking about everything back and forth. At first, he would only visit to see the kids and ask me if I had changed my mind and I would say no. And then, we would have another argument about who was being selfish. But both of us got pretty exasperated after one point. It got really annoying so I just told him that maybe it would be for the best to just end it and move on with our lives since we were obviously never going to be able to work this out. I think that was about 10 days ago and when I said that, he got really quiet and asked me if that was really what I wanted. And that forced me to really think about the situation, whether that was what I wanted or not, and honestly, I didn't. What I really wanted was for him to understand me, to apologize to me, and to make everything right again.

That was what I really wanted and that's what I told him. That day, he told me that he wanted the same thing as well because, at the end of the day, we really loved that. each other. We had been together for six years, we had kids together now and I don't know, but this seems like something worth fighting for. That day, he told me that he was going to come back the next day after work with a clearer head and we would try to sort things out. Because obviously, if both of us wanted to make it for each other, there was no reason for us to get a divorce. And I decided to do the same, to think about everything with a clearer head and keep an open mind. to try and understand him instead of trying to defeat him, just so that we would be able to make this work.

After that, he started visiting every day and there was a lot of explaining, a lot of listening, some arguing, some apologizing, and a lot of reassurance. Two days ago, we felt like we had finally been able to sort things out and it was really relieving because I did not want to leave him. He promised me that he would tell his family and especially Agnes, that right now, it was not the perfect time to visit us so frequently and that we needed our own space. And I would apologize to the rest of this family for my outburst the other day at my party. We have also promised each other that from now on, it's going to be us against the problem and not us

versus each other since that's clearly not going to lead us anywhere and it's only going to hurt each other. We don't want that and we definitely don't want to hurt the kids, so we're going to try and be better partners so we can eventually be better parents. I'm going back home with him tomorrow and my parents are also pretty happy about the way we were able to deal with this. So I guess all's well that ends well. Thank you so much for all the advice. I hope you enjoy this story. Manipulative partner compelled me to endorse a revolting agreement

regarding my relatives the evening prior to our nuptials, so I embarrassed him by reciting it publicly in front of all present. Understandable? Reddit, I need to get this off my chest. I'm 28 F, and I'm a dentist. I met this guy, Gene, 28M, on a dating app. We went on a few dates, and I quickly started to see some things I didn't like. The first date was at a really trendy bar.

Gene ordered a lot of expensive drinks for himself and his friends, and he put it all on his own tab without asking me if I wanted anything specific. I just had water, and he made a comment about it. He said, don't worry, I like a girl who knows her limits. It's cute. He gave me a wink, but I didn't feel like he was being nice. It felt like he was looking down on me. The second date was at a loud nightclub.

Jean spent most of the night talking to other women. While I was getting us drinks, he was very obviously flirting with a blonde woman in a tight dress. When I got back, he didn't even notice me for several minutes. He finally saw me, grabbed his drink, and didn't even say, thank you. I told him I felt uncomfortable. and he told me I should loosen up and learn to have some fun. The third date was dinner at a regular restaurant. He spent the whole time talking about his family's money and his plans for the future with their business.

He didn't ask me much about my work or my life. Then, he said something about my job that bothered me. He said, Dentistry, huh? That's adorable. My mom always wanted me to marry a doctor, but I guess a dentist is close enough. She'll be thrilled. I realized we were very different. I like quiet evenings, reading, and things like that.

Jean was clearly a very social person who enjoyed bars and clubs. I don't have anything against people who like to party. It's just not for me. I work at a well-known hospital, so I'm doing pretty well in my career. Jean, on the other hand, was going to inherit his father's business. After those dates, I stopped answering his sister. texts. He sent me a few messages that got angrier and angrier. The last one called me boring and uptight, and he said I was probably just jealous of girls who know how to have a good

time. A few months went by. Then, I saw him again at a friend's birthday party. It was at a quiet, upscale lounge, which is more my kind of place. At first, Jean just kind of looked at me from across the room with a little smile. But then, he came over and apologized for the those texts. He blamed it on having a bad day and drinking too much tequila. He was being very charming, paying a lot of attention to me, and even pretending to remember things I'd told him about my job on our first date. He got some details wrong, though. We spent the whole party together. We left together, but just as friends. Soon after, he asked me out again. He suggested a quiet dinner at a nice restaurant that's known for its food and wine. It seemed like he was actually

trying to do something I would enjoy. He said, I want to make it up to you. I know I messed up before. I thought I'd give him a real chance. Things got serious pretty quickly. Gene started doing big, romantic things, buying me expensive gifts and taking me on weekend trips. It was impressive at first, but then it started to feel like a little too much. He bought me a designer handbag that I never would have chosen for myself. He said, every woman deserves a little luxury. We are very different people. He kept making jokes about me going to bed early and liking to stay in,

saying I had old lady habits. He'd tease me, saying, you're going to turn into a pumpkin if you stay out past 10 p.m. Cinderella, we said we loved each other. A year after we started dating, we moved in together. He picked the apartment, a luxury high-rise in a trendy neighborhood. I wanted something quieter and closer to my work, but he brushed it off. He said, come on, babe, you'll love the views. And the amenities are insane.

Living with him, I saw what his everyday life was like. He played video games all day. He went to the gym sometimes. And he partied every weekend at bars and clubs. He'd come home really late, often waking me up. One time, he brought a group of loud friends back to the apartment at 3 a.m., even though he knew I had to get up early for work. His work situation was interesting. He went to his father's company office twice a week, but only if he felt like it.

He was supposed to work from home the rest of the week, but he sometimes didn't even do that. The company belongs to his father, and nobody could tell Gene what to do. It was obvious he only had the job because he was the owner's son. He was proud of it, too. He bragged to his friends about how he had it made and didn't have to work hard. His father was still working there, but he kept telling Gene he'd inherit the business someday and that he had faith in him. Gene has a business degree. I tried to talk to Gene about his work a couple of times.

He told me that as long as he was getting paid, I didn't need to worry about his professional life. He added, you wouldn't understand the pressures of a family business anyway. It's not like pulling teeth, sweetheart. I knew he was contributing money, so I decided not to argue with him. I just tried to ignore the whole weird work situation. One evening, I got home after a long, tiring shift at the hospital. Jean was playing video games, and the apartment was a mess. I asked him if he'd had time to look at some important documents about our lease.

He said he'd get to it later and that I was stressing him out during his downtime. He gestured to the video game and said, Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? This is important too. I didn't say anything, but I was starting to feel frustrated. My parents are in their early 50s. I'd been helping them out with money. It was the right thing to do, and I wanted to.

I could afford it. I was helping them save for retirement. I paid a couple of their bills every month, whenever I could. They told me I didn't have two, but I kept doing it. Gene and I kept our money separate. I didn't tell him about helping my parents because I didn't think it was important. He never told me how he spent his money. A couple of months ago, he found out I had paid my parents' electric bill.

My parents had visited the day before, and they mentioned it in conversation. Gene was acting annoyed during the visit, making little comments about how lucky my parents were to have such a generous daughter. He kept refilling his wine glass and ignoring me when I tried to talk to him. Later that night, after my parents had left, Jean brought it up. He slammed a beer bottle on the counter, which surprised me. He said I should have discussed this with him first. He said I was hiding things from him and going behind his back. He told me I must ask him before sending any.

money to my parents. He said it was about respect and that, we're a team now. You don't make these kinds of decisions without me. I didn't react well to that. We had a big argument. I told him he had no right to control my money. I told him I didn't owe anyone an explanation for how I spent my money, especially since I earned it myself. I also pointed out that I'd never asked him how he spent his money, like when he was buying, his friends drinks at the bar every weekend. I said, at least I'm not blowing my money on useless things and acting like a spoiled frat boy. I told him I could afford to help my parents. Gene said that my money was now our money, and he had a say in how it was used. He said, What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine.

That's how partnerships work, babe. We didn't speak for a few days after that fight. I slept on the couch. I was starting to feel really uneasy. Jean eventually apologized. The apology was short, and it was more about the misunderstanding than about him trying to control me. He said, I'm sorry we fought. I just, I get worried about money. It's a family thing. He gave me a cheap bracelet as a gift, which didn't look like anything I'd wear. I felt like I had to accept the apology, even though I was still upset. A few weeks later, I suggested we start saving for a down payment on a house. Jean laughed and said we didn't need to worry about that because his parents would probably

gift us a property when we got married. He said, besides, you wouldn't want to live in some boring suburb, would you? You'd missed the city life. He didn't even ask what I thought. A couple of weeks after that argument, we got engaged. Gene proposed in a very public, showy way, at a fancy restaurant with a lot of his friends there. He got down on one knee, holding a huge diamond ring, and said, well, my name, are you going to make me the happiest man in the world, or what? I felt like I had to say yes, even though I had mixed feelings. I got really busy with wedding planning. I kind of forgot about that argument. Gene didn't really help with the planning, leaving most of it to me and his mother. But he kept criticizing our choices.

saying they were too traditional or not classy enough. He didn't want a string quartet at the wedding, saying, that's so stuffy. We need a DJ who can actually get the party going. He insisted on a big eyes sculpture, which I thought was unnecessary. The wedding was scheduled for six months after the engagement. We planned to stay living separately until the wedding. Three days before the wedding, the night before, actually, Jean came to my house, where I was staying. He was about to check into a nearby hotel.

He gave me a document and asked me to sign it. He told me to hurry. He seemed uncomfortable and was trying to rush me. He kept tapping his foot and avoiding looking me in the eye. He said, it's just some legal stuff, nothing to worry your pretty little head about. At first, I thought it was a prenuptial agreement. Then I read it. The document had three main clauses.

1. After we were married, I wouldn't be allowed to give any money to my parents or any other member of my family. 2. If we had children, they wouldn't be allowed to be alone with my parents until they were 18 years old. 3. If Jean or his parents thought it was necessary, I might have to cut off all contact with my own family. Jean said the contract was a necessary measure because of the argument we'd had before about my parents' bills. He mentioned that his father was retiring soon, and he would be getting more money. He said he didn't want my parents to think they were entitled to any money. He added, we need to protect our assets, and you know how families can be. They'll bleed you dry if you let them.

He said the clause about the children was just in case my parents tried to use the children against us. He said something like, you never know what people are capable of. We need to be careful, implying my parents might try to. to turn our kids against him and his family. He said the no contact clause was for worst-case scenarios and that I shouldn't worry about that. He was talking to me like the contract was a completely normal thing. He just asked me to sign it, pushing the pen towards me. I signed it, but I made sure to keep that copy.

After I signed the paper, I kept thinking about it and my mind was going a mile a minute. I couldn't fall asleep that night. I stayed up late, reading the contract over and over. The next day was the wedding. I went through with all the preparations. I just pretended everything was fine. I got my hair and makeup done and put on the dress. I walked down the aisle.

It felt like I was watching it all happen from far away. When it was my turn to say my vows, I asked my maid of honor for my purse. I took out the contract. Everyone looked confused. They probably thought I had written down my vows. Jean and his parents looked alarmed. Jean's father started to stand up. I began reading the contract out loud.

I read through all the clauses very carefully, making sure everyone heard each word. I announced that this was what Jean had made me sign the night before. Then I said I wasn't in love with him. I called him a man-child, I said, you're a selfish, controlling, entitled brat, and I refused to spend another minute of my life with you. I looked right at his parents and called them privileged douchebags. I ripped the contract into tiny little pieces. I threw the pieces of the contract at Jean's face. A piece of paper landed in his

mouth, and he sputtered and tried to call me back. He was yelling, my name, what the hell are you doing? I grabbed my parents' hands. They looked shocked. but they squeezed my hands tightly. We walked out together. I didn't look back. We got into my parents' car and drove to their house, my childhood home. It was a quiet ride.

My mom was crying in the back seat, and my dad was trying to comfort her. When we got home, I changed into something more comfortable, an old sweatshirt and sweatpants. I took off all my makeup. I sat down with my parents. My father told me they were incredibly proud of me.

My mother was crying too much to speak clearly, but she was nodding in agreement with my father. She said, we love you, honey. We'll always be here for you. I've been staying at my parents' place ever since the wedding. That evening, Jean called me. He yelled and cursed at me. He called me a gold digger and manipulative,

and said I'd ruined his life. I didn't care. I hung up on him. Then I got a tearful voice message from the woman who would have been my mother-in-law. She said I had made a mockery of her and her family publicly. She said the contract had been presented in private, and I should have rejected it privately. She called me ungrateful and classless, and said I had brought shame on their family. She was crying the whole time.

So, Reddit, was I really the one in the wrong here? Update 1, I wanted to give a quick update. I posted here on Reddit about what happened. I don't think I did anything wrong. I might have been a little bit impulsive and impractical, but that's a whole lot different than being selfish, cruel, or disrespectful. And honestly, I don't care if some people disagree with me. Most people seem to think I did the right thing.

I keep thinking back to that argument about the electric bill, and it just makes me even more sure I made the right choice. Gene and I had to talk about splitting the costs of the canceled wedding. We had to deal with the caterers, specifically. He tried to make me pay more, saying it was all my fault and that he was losing a lot of money because of what I did. He even threatened to sue me. I told him to go ahead and try. I don't regret the money I lost.

If I'd canceled the day before, it would have saved some money, but whatever. At least I have a pretty crazy story to tell now. Update 2, another update. The wedding expenses, the caterers, are finally paid off. It took a lot of arguing and even getting lawyers involved, but we finally agreed to split the costs in half. It's a relief to have that over with, even though it was expensive. Jean has blocked me. I found out when I tried to message him about getting some of my belongings back.

I've been feeling a lot of different things. I'm relieved, but I also feel kind of. of, empty. I spent years thinking we were in love. Now, I don't really know what to do without him. A part of me actually wants him back, which I know is ridiculous considering everything he did. I'm almost ashamed to admit that. I've been getting a lot of your so fabulous texts from people, which is nice, but it doesn't really change how I feel inside. I'm just feeling numb. I can't really talk to anyone I know about this in person. I don't want to to make things awkward or uncomfortable for them. So, any advice on how to deal with this kind of

heartbreak? L. O.L. Update 3. It's been about a month since the wedding. I went back to the apartment we used to share to pack up the rest of my stuff. It was my last time going there. Gene wasn't home. A friend of his, Troy, was there and let me and a friend of mine in. Troy was acting really uncomfortable and made a few comments about how I'd overreacted and ruined a good thing, he said, Jeans really messed up about this, you know. He really loved you. My friend and I packed up my things. I noticed that some of my stuff was missing or damaged, like a favorite book with pages ripped out in a smashed picture frame. I'm pretty sure Gene did it, but I didn't say anything to Troy. We just left as soon as we could. Before I left, Gene's friend gave me a note from Gene.

Troy handed it to me and said, He wanted you to have this, but he didn't seem happy about it. The note was an apology from Gene. He apologized for what he'd done and how he'd treated me. He said it had always been even-tempered and shy, which is funny, because it shows he never really understood me. He said things must have been pretty bad for me to react the way I did. He said we were both immature during.

the relationship, and that we cared more about being in a relationship than about each other. He said he hoped we could meet up again sometime in the future, when we were both in a better space. The letter was bittersweet. I don't think we'll ever get back in touch. The damage is done. The apology seemed like he meant it, but he still didn't really acknowledge the main problem, his disrespect and his need to control me. It felt like he was trying to make it seem like we were both equally responsible for what happened. I crumpled up the note, then smoothed it out again. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I've rented a new apartment. It's near my parents' place. It's smaller and not as fancy as the old apartment, but it's cozy and peaceful. I feel safe and

relieved being closer to my family. I can visit them whenever I feel lonely. I'm going to focus more on work. I'm sad, but I'm also looking forward to being single. Thinking about it, reading Jean's letter stung. I know that I also made some mistakes. Update 4. It's been six months since the almost wedding. I got a promotion at the hospital. I'm now the head of my department.

I think it's because I'm able to focus on my work now, and I'm not constantly stressed and worried like I was with Jean. My social life is much better. I've reconnected with old friends, and I've made new friends. I feel much more confident and outgoing than I have in years. I even went dancing with my friends, something I never would have done when I was with Jean. My relationship with my parents is stronger than ever. I'm still helping them out financially, but it's different now.

We have dinner together regularly, and they're always there to support me. Something surprising happened. Jean's father contacted me. He offered me a job at his friend's dental hospital. He said my skills would be a good fit there and that he always thought I was a good, smart girl. I turned him down. It would have been a major conflict of interest, and I just don't want to be involved with that family in any way. And then I ran into Jean.

It was at a coffee shop near my new apartment. He looked, not great. He gained weight, and his clothes were wrinkled. He tried to talk to me, apologizing again and saying he misses me a lot. He told me he's been having trouble at work, and his father is thinking about selling the company because Gene can't handle it. He said he realizes now how much he messed up and how good I was for him. I was polite, but I didn't give him much.

I told him I'd moved on and that I wished him well, but I wasn't interested in getting back together. I left without saying much else. I felt a little bit of pity for him, but most of my own. Mostly, I just felt relieved that I'm not stuck in that situation anymore. This whole thing has made me realize how much I've grown and how much happier I am without genes' negativity and control in my life. It was a tough decision, but I know I did the right thing.

I feel a sense of closure and peace about it all. Update 5, it has now been a year since the wedding that never happened. I just went on my first date. It was really casual, just coffee with someone I met. It was a bit strange and definitely new, but I was happy, excited, and only a little bit nervous. I have been going to therapy, and, wow, it has helped so much. My therapist has helped me work through the whole mess with Gene, build my confidence, and learn how to set healthy boundaries.

I have finally realized my self-worth. I'm actually looking forward to the future. I hope you enjoy this story. arranged a spontaneous outing for my spouse, but noticed an unfamiliar vehicle parked in front of our residence. I discreetly captured evidence of her infidelity. A few weeks back, I made up my mind to provide a pleasant shock. My wife with a kid-free night out. My parents live about an hour and a half away from us and I arranged for the kids to stay with them for the weekend. Usually, when I go to my parents I'm gone until later in the evening. We spend all day that.

there and leave around dinner time. This time, I was dropping the kids off and immediately going home so I could surprise my wife and we could go out as soon as possible. I had made reservations at a nice restaurant and was hoping to go to a few places for some drinks first. I left at 8.30 and was back in our housing plan before 12.30. As I pulled onto my street I saw a truck parked in front of my house. I did not recognize it. I assumed it was someone seeing the neighbor's though because it's not that unusual for someone to park in front of our house. I parked a few houses away thinking I would sneak into the house and surprise my wife instead of pulling in the driveway and going in the garage. I went in through a basement door.

I was as quiet as possible, but as soon as I walked and I heard her making sounds from the floor above. When I first heard it, I thought she was just by herself, maybe having some personal time. I didn't want to interrupt her privacy and embarrass her so I was going to go back to my car and go in the garage so she would know I was home. Then I heard a man's voice. I immediately felt sick. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. It is hard to describe how I felt in this moment. I decided to go upstairs. I had no desire to confront them. I just wanted to see what was going on. I moved slowly and quietly and went up the stairs. The door was halfway open. The kitchen was empty but I could tell they were in the living room. It was obvious what was going on at this point

by the sounds. There was no way for me to look in the living room without them seeing me. I pulled out my phone and opened my camera app. I put my phone just around the corner of a wall. This part is so hard to write. I could see my wife with a man I'd didn't recognize. I won't go into detail on what they were doing, but I think you can figure it out. I started recording it. I was thinking that I needed a record of it for whatever I decided to do in the future. I just stood there in my kitchen, watching this all unfold on my phone screen. I felt like I could just scream at any moment, but for some reason I just froze completely. This went on for several minutes. She finally jumped off of him and made a comment about going to the

bedroom and they went upstairs. She even made a comment about how much time they had left. I walked into the living room and found the guy's pants. I took his wallet out and took pictures of his driver's license. I know his name and his address now. I've never met him. I have no idea how my wife knows him. I left the house the same way I entered. I went back to my car and cried like the pathetic man I am. I decided to watch the video to to make sure it recorded. I watched it all. I'll spare the details, but I sat in my car for at least half an hour. I couldn't drive to my parents and get the kids as I would have to explain why. I decided that I would pull in the driveway, open the garage, and just pretend like I was there to

surprise her. I took my time getting into the house. I made a lot of noise. When I saw her she was very flustered asking me why I was home, etc. as she was in a robe and said she was just getting ready for a bath. I told her about my plans and she seemed excited. She poured us both a glass of wine and said we should pre-game before getting ready. I don't think I talked much really. She took me into the living room. I'm not proud of what I let happen. I could faintly see the guy sneaking downstairs and going to the basement stairs but I didn't say or do anything. I just let my wife continue doing what she was doing to me. Since that day, I have watched the video of her repeatedly. I can't bring myself to make any decisions on what I should do next. She seems to know

something is wrong with me because she's asked a few times if I'm okay. I feel worthless and every time I hit a low point I watch that video again. I feel like I've watched it at least 10 times a day since I caught them. Comments. Big ADV. There are two things you should not do in this situation. One. Don't look for revenge against her and or the guy. It'll just hurt you more and worst case, put you in jail. Two, don't let her hurt you like this again, because if you stay with her, she will. Boop. I have spent multiple hours looking up this guy. And so considering options from the alt-sub. Filda. Fragmatron. So what happened to his pants and truck? He run without his pants? What did wife say about the truck in the driveway?

Wife kick his pants under the couch. Boop. His truck was on the street. I don't know where the clothes went to, but I assume she panicked as soon as she heard the garage open. Filda. Shuga Shuga. So-op I'm a bit confused here. You were still able to go through with your plan to take her out on a surprise date and were able to look her in the face, eat dinner and act like there's nothing wrong? Boop. Not really.

We didn't stay out late and went home early. She asked a few times if something was wrong. I tried getting drunk to get through it but was just too hard. Update 1, July 13, 2024. I stopped watching the video after reading all the comments on my first post. It has helped clear my mind and allowed me to focus on next steps. This has allowed me to be mostly back to my normal self for both my kids and my job. I have gone through my wife's phone and found nothing.

I searched the guy's name from the driver's license. I've figured out how they met. He's a landscaper. She was calling some a few months ago to clean up our yard and ended up getting some mulching and clean up done. I've driven past his house many times. I think he is single as I couldn't find any records of other people living at that address. I've only seen a truck parked in the driveway when I have driven by. I have been avoiding my wife after the kids are in bed to try to limit one on one time. I don't want any awkward

conversations and I also don't want to have sex. I have mostly been successful with this but did slip up one night when I had a little too much to drink. I hated myself for it the next day. I don't believe she has seen him since the day I caught them. I've been paying attention any time she's gone. I obviously can't track her 100%. I've read about Apple Air tags, but I use Android. I'm guessing any app one would put on her phone may be discovered. I have installed a doorbell camera on our house though so I can always see the street. When I did this my wife didn't say anything. We continue to do things as a family as we normally would. I have done my best to not let her know what I know and to continue to be a good dad to my kids. The weird thing I'm dealing with now is that

she's planned a night out with a friend for drinks. It's a friend from work so I don't know her at all and I'm not connected with this person on social media. When she told me I made up some excuse about work and said I couldn't watch the kids, she ended up getting our neighbor to agree to babysit. Now I'm debating if I should follow her to really see if she's meeting her friend or the guy. It seems like I'm heading towards a confrontation either way when I just want everything to go back to normal. I'm going to leave my house soon and pretend to be going to work. I'll probably just go to a bar to kill time until I can drive by the place she's supposed to be going to. I'm filled with fucking dread about all of this.

Update 2, July 20, 2024. I've had so many messages asking how I am doing that I felt I should probably post an update. On the night when she was going out with her friend I still pretended I had work and left the house after the babysitter arrived. I went to a bar and had a few drinks. Then I drove over to the restaurant she said she was going to. I saw her car in the parking lot. I'm not going to lie, I was on edge and incredibly nervous despite the drinks earlier. I was so worried I would walk in and see her with that guy.

I was hoping to sneak in and get a look without being seen but that failed miserably. She saw me as soon as I walked in the door. She was with her friend and not the guy. We had the What Are You Doing Here? Thought you were working expected conversation. I told her work ended early so I wanted to stop by to say hi since we had a babysitter. I left after a couple drinks and went home to relieve the sitter. So many of you have commented on my last post that I need to confront her and I decided in that moment that I would.

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I got the kids to bed and waited for her to come home. I watched the video again to remind myself of what happened. When she got home, she was surprised I was still up and apparently could tell from the way I looked that something was wrong. I poured it all out on her. It probably wasn't fair of me, I didn't even let her sit down. I told her everything. I played part of the video to show her what I saw.

I called her some harsh names, said she ruined our lives. In that moment I was incredibly angry. She was very upset, heavily crying and shaking. She told me how terrible she felt about everything that happened. I told her she had to tell me everything that happened with that guy and she laid it all out. She cheated on me twice with him. After the time I saw them she cut things off because she knew it was wrong and she loves me. I asked her for proof but she said she had already deleted and blocked him on her phone,

Facebook and Instagram. She did tell me that he is single and knew she was married. She asked me to delete the video, but I refused. She asked me why and I really didn't have a reason other than I feel a need to hold on to it for now. She got a little angry at that and asked if I was keeping it to watch again. It was very late at this point, so we decided to go to bed and talk more the next day when we had more time to think. She continued to apologize repeatedly for what she did. We slept separately that night. Over the next few days, things between us seemed better. I felt some relief that it was all out in the open now. We have continued to talk and it feels like we are on a path of staying together and moving past this. I have made it clear that she is never to see or talk to

that guy again. While things feel like they are improving, I am still struggling to trust her. Worse yet is that I have a trip coming up for work and I'll be gone for a few days. I've told her that I am not comfortable with leaving right now, but I can't skip this trip. My boss made it clear that I'm needed. She said I could put cameras up in the house to keep an eye on her if it would make me feel better. Sadly, I may do that. I'll be gone for at least three days. Overall things are okay. Kids are oblivious that anything is going on and it seems that slowly my wife and I will eventually get back to normal. I hope so at least. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I have watched the video a few times since all of this. I'm thinking that I should probably delete it so

it's gone from my life. I don't know what's wrong with me. Comments. Flin underscore J.M. I remember your first post. Did she say how it went from yard work to him in your bed? What was the development? Boop. She did. He came to the door to ask to wash his hands in the laundry sink. They struck up a conversation. He came out again to finish up the work and they got to talking again. They already had each other's phone numbers and she said some texts were exchanged and she basically made up work for him to come out a third time. That third time led to her cheating. Now on to the next story. Story two. Hubby ignored my requests for dates for a year. Now he wants to go out every week, only to make videos for his business. My husband John 25

M, fake name, and I, 26F, have been married for over two years, and dated for about three years before that. Overall, we have a generally healthy relationship with good communication. When we first got married, we used to go on lots of dates, not necessarily anything big, sometimes just coffee or a drive, but we went out of our way to get out of the house together for quality time. As time has passed, I have taken on more freelance work, keeping me busier, and he started saying that he's just too tired or doesn't feel like getting ready to go out after work or on his days off. Up until now, I haven't had an issue with that. He does work a lot and I don't blame him at all.

But here's where things have changed. A couple of months ago, he got really interested in digital marketing, basically selling products online. He bought an expensive course to help him learn, and has started trying to consistently post three times a day in order to build a following on a new Instagram account, so he's really putting a lot of work into this. I'm not holding my breath that it will work out for several reasons that I won't get into here, unless you want them, but I've never discouraged him from doing it. When he gets stressed, I encourage him, I tell him often that I'm proud of all his hard work, I am, etc. I only mention that to say that I'm not against him trying this out and haven't put him down for it ever. But this is why I've gotten a little sad. Last week,

we went on a cute date after he got off work on Saturday, and I loved it. We laughed and talked and generally had a great time like those first dates after getting married. While we were on the date, I had an idea for a cute reel that took maybe five minutes to record, and then I put my phone away for the rest of the time. When we got home, I created and posted the reel, adding him as a collaborator with his new digital marketing Instagram account at his request. I guess he's gotten advice to post real-life things, not just videos trying to sell, no biggie. I didn't mind. Well, since I already have a following, small, but bigger than his, that reel did better than any of the other ones on his account. Great. We both thought. But now he's asked to go on a small date every Saturday.

At first I was so happy. I'd love to get back to our regular dates, but then he said it would be so that we could get content for his page. He asked if I could be a collaborator on all or most of the posts, but if he could post them himself so he gets the credit for the engagement. I guess all the views slash like slash et cetera don't actually bump his page analytics since I was the one who created the post. I'm feeling hurt because for over a year, he hasn't shown much interest in taking me out. Now all of a sudden, because he needs content and saw how I could help his view count go up,

he want to go on dates, though. I guess I'm just feeling used and like I'm not any kind of a priority. I feel like the dates won't even count as actual dates because he's not asking to go out to spend time with me. I do want to reiterate that I'm not opposed to him doing this side job, and I'm not even opposed to helping him or collaborating on posts, though I'd prefer not to do it every week. I'm actually really happy, whether or not it works out as a moneymaker,

that he's just putting a lot of effort into something that excites him. I haven't seen him this into anything maybe ever. I'm asking for advice because I don't know if I should bring this up to him or not. And if I do, what should I say? The last thing I want to do is make him feel bad or discourage him in his new endeavor. Should I just be grateful to be going on dates again? Am I being selfish? Thanks for all any and any advice and sorry if this is very long.

Edit, because so many people are getting hung up on the double standard of me making content on the date, but not wanting him to, I just want to clarify that I'm not a content creator by any means. I asked if he'd want to do this real and he said yes, and it's not a regular thing as I don't post much. To me the difference here is that the whole point of these dates moving forward will be to get content, and for him it will be work, where for me it was just a fun thing for us. Maybe this doesn't make a difference, but that's just how I see it in my head. comments away underscore grapefruit 4297 so he is in an MLM and he admitted that his wanting to go out with you is to support his cultish business rather than because he values the time that hurts i get it i'm sorry i do want to say that these companies slash opportunities slash MLMs are very scripted high pressure and designed to make people think if they fail they are at fault despite the actual setup being a massive reason for the failure

They literally borrow cult tactics in order to prey on people. I think you should talk about your feelings, but I also think you should tread lightly because the whole system is designed for him to be defensive if you bring up reason. It's part of the gig. There is lots of hugs. I'm sorry. Hilda Caroline say Cura. How about you tell him how you feel and that a date is a date a reel's are for work?

If he wants to go on dates just to get views those can be only one on five dates if you're comfortable with even that. Communicate. Update, August 20th, 2024. So, first of all, thank you to the vast majority of you who were logical and kind. Anyways, here's what I ended up doing. Many, many of the comments said that the best thing to do was probably just take the win and find the good in my situation, but if it's really bothering me, to bring it up to John. I honestly didn't want to, but I didn't want to be upset on every date either, so I decided to give it a trial run and see how I felt after.

I waited two weeks to make a decision and chose to go ahead and mention it to him. For those of you who think I'm some dramatic which whose husband could never do enough to make her happy, I told him, I was sure how I felt wasn't how he intended to come across, but then explained what I had been thinking. Sure enough, as many of you said, he was just killing two birds with one stone. I told him I was totally fine creating content on our dates, but I just didn't want to feel like that was why we were on a date. He said that he understood and would be careful about it, and that if I was bothered or wanted to have a no-content date, to just let him know. So, that's the good part. The next part was a little tougher. For the advice of a couple of you with either digital marketing or MLM experience, I had the tough pyramid scheme talk.

I told him before during and after this conversation that no matter what he's chooses to do, I will support him and help him, but I also explained to him a few things. How the marketing was misleading, how most people lose money instead of making it, how they will try to keep trying to get him to spend more money to make it work, etc. I also suggested that he track his hours of learning, content creating, and posting, so that even if he does start making sales, he can decide if the time is worth the payout. I probably mentioned other things as well, but I don't remember what if so. I have always been very anti-MLM and like to think I know a lot about it, so I just tried to give him all the basic info in a kind way. After all that, I told him if he

wanted to keep trying, I was for it as long as he doesn't invest any more money before he makes some. I also told him how I was so proud of all the work he put into his side hustle so far and how I loved that he was excited about it, how he's been getting up early to work out because of it, he will record parts of his run slash stretches slash etc, but actually does a full workout or run, and I love how it's energized him. Understandably, he was a little sad and quiet, but he understood everything and wasn't mad at all. This was all last night and he was totally back to normal before bed, and he's continued posting today, so I guess I didn't hurt his feelings or discourage him like I thought I might.

That's the whole reason I waited so long, but I guess it would have been fine all along. I am looking forward to our weekly dates and to the fact that we will be able to look back and remember them all since we will have videos from each one. Again, grateful for all of your kind words, and I'm happy to answer comments or questions. Just be nice for goodness sake. I hope you enjoy this story. Former partner transformed into a companion and began connecting with my child after my spouse passed away. I lost my composure when he referred to my child as his little one, and now he has been. has arrived and revealed something. His feelings. I, F-34, had been with my husband for over 12 years.

We had our child when I was 31, and my husband 33. Sadly, recently, 1.5 years ago, when my baby was around two years, my husband, the love of my life, died in a tragic accident, careless driver hit his car on a foggy, slippery road. He died instantly in a crash. His death left me in shambles, only thing that kept me at least sane was our daughter. I couldn't believe that I lost him. He was my rock, my light, and I loved him dearly. In a way I still cannot believe that he's gone. That's where my ex comes in.

In about year after my husband's accident, he reached out to me to talk, to vet maybe. We separated long time ago, a couple of years before I've met my husband. We didn't exactly stay friends but were on good terms, and spoke a case. occasionally hi, how are you kind of talk? So he reached out and offered to help as a friend. It was unexpected but I accepted because I really needed a friend and frankly I don't have a lot of close friends besides him. He occasionally came over to our place, brought some gifts to my daughter and we talked over tea or a beer. It wasn't intimate. He had several casual relationships over the years and I clearly told him that I'm not ready for any relationships after my husband,

still not ready, I guess. So he came over once or twice a month, he was very sweet with my daughter, so I didn't see anything wrong with them bonding. But then my baby started calling my ex-papa. It annoyed me very much, but I didn't say anything, because she's a toddler how is she supposed to now any better?

I tried gently explaining to her that my ex isn't Papa, but I doubt she understood. So I just started sending her to my or my husband's mom when my ex came over. In truth I know our baby won't remember her father, photos is all she'll have of him. And I don't want another man to take his place in her eyes. So everything was normal again. I noticed that my ex was visibly upset when I told him that my daughter isn't home.

But I didn't think much of it. And last time is where I snapped. That's where I might be the awe, because I ended up screaming at my ex and probably should have handled it better. So when he was at our house and we played some video. games and had couple of beers. My mother brought my daughter home early, she was very grumpy and wanted to go home. He stood up and told my daughter, here's my baby, I missed you, and reached to hug her. That's where I snapped at him. I told him angrily that he is in fact not her father, and that she is my and my husband's baby and will never be his baby no matter how much he wants it.

And if he wants to have a child, he still have plenty of chances with his girlfriend. He told me I was a real odd for saying such cruel things and left. My mother told me that I was kind of an asshole too and I acted like a child. So am I? Comments? Commenter, nah. I think you took some unresolved trauma out on him. And also that him calling your kid his baby was pretty clueless since he presumably will not be her father. He's more of an uncle, if we want to use family terms at all. I think you should apologize even though he was also wrong, assuming you want to be friends and have him in your kid's life. Hopefully he will understand that it is a sore subject for you right now and parts of it will obviously be a sore subject forever. Ah, thank you. I think you're right. I still take everything

concerning my husband to heart and my ex's words hit very close to home. I don't think I was wrong in what I said to him, but I was wrong in the way I said it. After thinking about it for some time, I think I do want him in my and my daughter's life. He is a very good friend and very supportive, especially in my time of need, so I shouldn't have lashed out at him. I think I'll try calling him to apologize and communicate my issues clearly.

Maybe he didn't even mean anything by his words and just loves my baby and expressed it a bit clumsily. But I admit his words really triggered me in the moment. Commenter, nah. You are still heavily grieving the loss of your husband. You should, in my opinion, apologize to him and explain your thoughts. He can accept the apology or not. If you are not currently in therapy, you should really consider it.

I have a friend whose son's dad passed away when he was three. Same thing. Only pictures and basically no memories. Ah, thank you for you advice. I believe you're right, I should apologize and explain my feelings to him clearly. I didn't express my concerns earlier and then exploded. unnecessarily. I should set some clear boundaries with him, explain that I'm still hurting and don't want him to call my daughter his baby in any way. If he's okay with it, that'll be

great. If not, then I won't have a choice than to stop speaking to him for my own sake. I am currently in therapy, it is helpful, but it's a long process. And sincerely sorry for your friend and her son. Commenter, since you have a baby, you will need to enact clear boundaries with him. It's possible that given you two's romantic history, he doesn't realize he's crossing lines. But once you let these boundaries be known, it's up to him to follow them and you to enforce them. Don't let him bully you. You're the mom and dad to your baby. Ah, you are right. My first priority is my baby's well-being. And although some of my relatives say child needs a father figure, I think that's a load of BS. If I meet a nice man, at least as great as my husband, then maybe.

But it should be on my terms and not forced onto both on me and my baby. Commenter, if he only came back into your life because of the baby, I think there is something going on here. There are tons of bad people out there who insinuate themselves into single mom's lives to get access to the kids. Protect your daughter. You don't need your ex. You dumped him for a reason already. Ah, I'm not really sure if he has some ulterior motive about my baby. Maybe he's too projecting some unresolved issues, maybe not. He's generally a good person and a good friend. But you're right.

He was a terrible boyfriend. We were very young and our relationship was clearly toxic, but we've later talked and decided that we're much better friends than lovers. But it is clear to me now after posting and thinking about the matter that, firstly, should apologize for yelling, secondly, set some clear boundaries about him and my baby. If he won't accept that, that's his right, but we won't speak anymore. Then commenter, NTA. And this seems to be some ploy on his part to get back with you and has extended to creating

a relationship with your daughter. Up, I don't think he wants to get back with me, though I'm not completely sure. We did break up for a reason. We were young and stupid and our relationship was completely. He is a good friend, though. Some time after the breakup, which was surprisingly calm, we talked and decided to stay in touch. We weren't close friends, but we were friendly. He was very supportive after my husband's death and helped me a lot.

I won't deny there's a bit of nostalgia about the times we were together, but it's more of a running joke now. We can say, do you remember when we were together so and so happened and we laugh? I in fact do not want him as a partner. He is terrible boyfriend and judging by his demeanor with his numerous girlfriends, that didn't change. He initially didn't express any interest in having children, but maybe he's projecting some of his own issues onto my daughter. Commenter, this whole situation is bizarre to me. I don't understand why you'd allow your ex this much access to your kid. I understand needing the support, but the situation is suspicious, NTA. In general, N. N.T.A. In general, N. A. Op, thank you for your input. You are right, I believe I was wrong for introducing them at all. I was a wreck and needed support, yes, but my priority should be my child. First year after my husband

died, a lot of people came over to offer condolences and some help, my and my husband's family. My daughter was always by my side. She once called my husband's brother Papa, but they look so much alike, that it is understandable. And I kind of miss the fact that my ex's visits and gifts can be a problem. I was too late to understand that I need to set clear boundaries and it is inappropriate for them to bond if I do not want any relationship besides friendship with my ex. On the term Papa, thank you for your input. I didn't mention it in my post, but we are European and term Papa is actually more common here. Maybe it wasn't even his intention and he did it subconsciously. I was in the to scream and yell, but we definitely need to set some clear boundaries that this friendship is going to last.

Update, first, I wanted to say thank you for everyone who offered condolences, advice, and criticisms. I appreciate it very much. I think a little context and explanation is due. My husband and I had a really tight friend group, we usually hung out at our place because we have sort of a playroom, with PS5, good PC, VR, board games and table. We are big fans of gaming in many ways. Sadly, our friends moved to different countries over the years one by one, and after my husband died I was left with only one friend from the group nearby. But she's a young mother too and we can't hang out like before.

We still speak but it's not been the same. So I wanted some familiarity when my ex appeared. I was vulnerable and allowed things to escalate too much. I desperately wanted to have a friend who shares similar interests with me and my husband. So I was blind to some red flags and my own wrong choices. Also, I never left my ex alone with my daughter for more than couple of minutes. I was wrong to introduce them in the first place. Now to the update itself, yesterday evening my ex came by unannounced and uninvited.

I was a little worried, but, thankfully my husband's brother and his wife was at our house with their kids on a play date. So I asked them to watch over the kids for some time and went to talk with my ex outside. He was drunk. A lot. He started talking and he said a lot. In a nutshell he said that he will always care about me, that he suppressed some feelings for all this 15 years and he just realized that he was a fool to let me go.

I admit, I do care about him too, but not even remotely in a way I care about my husband. So I was a fool to hope we can be friends and have civil relationship without any implications. Our talk started getting heated and we argued, a lot of accusations were thrown. My bill came out of the house and brought our big overprotective dog with him. So I quickly apologized to my ex for leading him on and told him to move on and asked him to leave and never return.

I was a bit worried that things can get violent, but he left without any protest. He later posted long and vague post about being hurt and that love is shit, and he is better off alone, and tagged me and several of his other exes. Not sure how his GF may react to that, but it doesn't really matter anymore. I blocked him everywhere and hope he won't appear in our lives anymore. Also I will update my security system as soon as possible just in case. Now on to the next story. Story 2

Son bullied a girl with cancer, so I sold all his electronics and clothes. Then he came out as gay and said he was being bullied too. Now he's sorry, got a job. and wants to make things right. I am 38 and I have a 15-year-old son who is going to be a sophomore after this school year is over. I gave birth to my son when I was 23 years of age. Unfortunately, my son's dad left when he was five and never came back. I have not heard from his dad in years. Recently, my son has been getting trouble. Quite frankly, I am at my wits end. I'm at a loss. My son made new friends that have been nothing

but trouble. My son and his friends have shoplifted from stores, skipped school, and has been a smart ass. May 9th, my son bullied a girl who lost her hair. She is going through chemo. The girl was sitting in her seat and my son decided to rip her scarf off. Him and his friends said very mean things to her. The poor girl was already getting bullied and my son exacerbated it. She was humiliated. I was called to the school. They brought my son and the girl to the office. I arrived there shortly after they called me. The teacher and principal explained the situation. The mother of the girl he bullied was at the school as well. I asked the mother for her number. I gave her my number. I told her that if she needed anything to not hesitate to ask. My son was given two days of ISS for bullying. My son and I

got home and I was furious. I lost my mind. I went into his room and took every electronic. I took his PS5, his MacBook, his iPhone 13. I took his name brand shoes, his name brand jackets, his Hollister jeans and his Nike shirts. I grounded him indefinitely. Three days later I sold his electronics at a very marked down price. I got I bought my son Walmart clothes and Goodwill shoes. He will not bully someone and get away with it. I gave the money to the mother so she could buy her daughter a wig. The only thing my son has in his room is his bed, drawers, mirror, and his shelf of books. I even confiscated his art supplies.

My family on my mother's side are not talking to me because of this. I know that it's been two weeks. I just feel like there was a possibility that I was too harsh. Edit, he is not allowed to leave the house at all. He's also not allowed to hang out with his friends. Comments, External underscore Expert underscore 2069, you fucking hero. How else would he learn? He was cruel and hopefully this is a defining moment where he can become a kind, compassionate person.

Looks like the relatives on your mother's side should go meet the mother and child with cancer to understand the gravity of the situation. I don't think they understand how horrible this really was. Great job parenting. Oop, I just hope he learns from this. I have tried talking to him many times about this and it doesn't work. External underscore expert underscore 269. Have you thought of therapy sessions? I was a total jerk as a teen.

I'm not now. But damn I wish I could go back and slap myself. You've had the conversations you needed to take action. Perhaps therapy at this point is essential. Boop, definitely. He's going to therapy for sure. Byrony 88, NTA, you did exactly what you were supposed to do. You are parenting him.

Good job. You need to lay it out plainly to him exactly what he did so he can see the full extent of his own assholery. Ask him how it is at all funny to humiliate a girl fighting for her life. Tell him that she lost her hair literally trying to stay alive and cure the disease trying to kill her, and ask him how he found that funny. Tell him it was a cowardly thing to do. Picking on a girl whom is far braver than he is. Making herself sick to survive,

that you are disappointed and disgusted because you raised him better, and he needs to do better. He needs to understand so he can learn and grow from this. Oop, I told him that it's not her fault she lost her hair. I explained to him that hair is very important to a girl and that it was hard for her to lose it. I explained that she already feels awful about her looks and he made it worse.

External underscore expert underscore 2069 sounds like you are doing everything right. Teenagers are just freaking hard. And how disappointing with family members thinking that this is acceptable behavior. Don't pay attention to them. Sarah Love Life Oop, I'm not. External underscore Expert underscore 269, you are too hard on yourself. You can raise someone perfectly, but they have their own free will and outside influence. You are not letting his behavior slide.

You are being supportive of a family in need. And you enrolling him into therapy because you know he's better than this. I don't see where you could be dropping the ball. Kids in life are just hard sometimes skeptical. Timely Lyme 1359, not wrong. As a former teacher I wish more parents would react like this when confronted with their child's bullying behavior. Too many parents make excuses for it and enable it. Your son after round and found out that actions have consequences. Sarah Love Lifeoop, I'm not going

to allow him to be a bully. I was bullied as a kid and I won't allow it in my home. External underscore Expert underscore 269. There needs to be more moms like you. Update 1. I had a long talk with my son earlier and I think I know why he's acting the way he is. Recently I grounded my 15-year-old son and took everything away after he bullied a girl with cancer for being bald. I gave him back his art supplies to give him an outlet. I am giving him a chance to redeem himself and to earn back electronics, etc. I will be purchasing him new electronics to replace the ones I sold once he shows a change in behavior. We had a conversation earlier.

My son told me that he's gay and he was getting bullied. He wanted to fit in with his new friends because, because he felt like he had no other friends. My son told me how alone he is feeling. This made me feel awful for being hard on him. He will be starting therapy soon. Can someone with an LGBTQIA plus child give me advice on how to navigate through this? Comments, Snutku, I'm not a parent of a gay child, but here's my advice.

I think you are handling this well. You are right to slowly give his electronics and privileges back. There still has to be consequences for bullying. If it was me in your shoes, I would seek out a counselor for the two of you that can guide you into this and can also recommend individual therapy for each of you. McMurmel, I think you have handled this right. I do want to ask if you are sure your son did not make this up to get himself out of trouble. You say in your other post besides your son other boys had been bullying this girl. Check back with the school and the girl's mother that they have put a stop to this.

Cancer is hard on adults lets alone a kid. It is tough for a girl or woman to lose her hair. Update 2, I gave my son back his art supplies to give him an healthy outlet. He got a part-time job as a bagger for groceries and I will be taking him to and from work. He starts his new job next week. I also talk to the girl's mom and she's doing better. My son recently came out also. He has been getting bullied for being gay and wanted to fit.

it with his new friends. His new friends were bullies and troublemakers. My son talked to me and he genuinely feels awful about what happened. My son wants to make things right with her. He was sweet and offered to shave his head for her. I guess after me cracking down on him, he did a 180 with his behavior. I am proud of him. He still hasn't gained my full trust for him to have electronics back. When he shows me that I can fully trust him again, I'll buy him a number. new phone and computer. Comments, Ami Laura, high school is so damn rough. I am glad OOP is giving him the opportunity to earn back his electronics and not just giving them back to him. Is being gay in high school hard? Absolutely, but it doesn't give anyone the right to take it out on someone else.

I was stoked when OOP gave the money to the girl so she could buy a Wigga Plus parenting right there. Okay, tap 3378, high school seems so much worse now because of the internet. Even when all we had was AIM, kids used to still torture the shit out of each other. I can't imagine now. Grecierpup, when I was in HS, I graduated in 2022, I was part of my school's equivalent to a GSA, we called it something different, though. At one point, it was discovered that someone had created an Instagram account called F. Slur S of My High School that featured pictures of students, some of whom were members of our GSA that weren't out to their families for a myriad of reasons, posted without their consent. School administration got the account shut down somehow, but we never found out who was behind it.

There were other similar accounts too, which I only found out after the fact. Marginalized students at MyHS were lucky that our admin actually gave a fuck, because many school admins don't the internet has made it easier than ever to bully people without attaching your name or face to it. It's honestly scary, when you don't know who's behind it, there's not nearly as much that you can do. Renoa Rita, I teach HS and taught middle school. When a kid hits middle school parents lose a lot of control and kids start getting more influenced by their friends. But unfortunately, sometimes the friends aren't the best and hive mind dumb-ass boys behavior fester in a certain dynamic. Often when you get these boys alone, they're perfectly okay.

But somehow they all bring out the worst in each other. Fortunately, in the big picture, good parenting can save a kid, but it will be really tough, especially if your kid is rebellious. Corb, but somehow they all bring out the worst in each other. My friend noticed this with her kid. The more boys you added to the group, the lower the collective IQ got. It quickly went from respectable kids to I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass. I hope you enjoy this story. Close companion asked for my hand in marriage in a crowded setting while I was having a caricature portrait created.

I chuckled as we had never been romantically involved. He vanished and was subsequently apprehended by law enforcement. In all honesty, I'm still in shock that this happened. so this might be all over the place. Bear with me. All fake names, etc. Jordan and I met in university two years ago. We both started at the same time and because of our ages we were both considered mature students. So we quickly became firm friends as we shared a dorm and we joke around together about us being old enough to be considered mature in our early 20s.

We weren't on the same course, but given we lived together, we would hang out pretty much all the time whenever we didn't have a lecture. We joined a bunch of societies together, went drinking every weekend together, etc., etc. It was a pretty sweet gig because it meant we were at least never alone. Obviously we made other friends, both alone and together, but we were always each other's number one at the end of the day. At the moment we're on spring holidays for Easter. And while we haven't hung out constantly, we decided to make plans to visit each other's hometowns, because we're from very starkly different places. Today, we went to Mine. Mine is a big city central. This morning we went there and were wandering

down the streets, doing some sightseeing, because he's never been. There's typically a lot of street sellers here, trying to sell you everything from hot dogs to fluffy Pokemon hats. I decided I wanted to get a caricature done. I've never had one and I thought it would be funny to get and hang over my bed when we got back for term. I asked Jordan if he wanted to get in and he wanted to get in and he refused. No worries, so I sat down to get it done. They don't take very long, five-tenth-ish minutes, so I stayed look straightforward at the artist the entire time. He finished the caricature, I loved it. So obviously I turned to show it properly to Jordan. When I turned, though, I literally don't even know what to say. He's down on one knee holding up a ring box. I don't even

really know what he said, if he did the whole like proposal speech thing because I was so confused, I was barely paying attention. Remember again, this is a super busy tourist city, so this has drawn a mini crowd now, coming over to cheer us on. I couldn't help but burst into laughter. To be honest, I thought this was some kind of odd prank-type thing. We never have been prankster types or whatever, but I couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation. So I just laughed and laughed and laughed. until I looked at Jordan and he looked genuinely heartbroken. So obviously I asked him something along the lines of you are not being serious? This is the only thing I remember him saying.

He shut the box, stood up, shrugged and said, I guess not anymore, and walked off. This left me standing pretty awkwardly in this gathered crowd of people, a lot of who were giving me dirty looks, which made me incredibly uncomfortable. The plan was to meet back up a hotel that we had back. booked rooms next door to one another. So I figured that's where he's going and head back that way. But he's not there. So I wait and I wait, and he still doesn't return. I text him out of concern, this was at 1.15 p.m. It's currently 6.20 p.m. as I'm writing this, just asking if he's okay. He responds with a long message back, which I would post, because it's an odd read, but I won't out of respect for his privacy, in which he basically accuses me of leading him on, asking why I didn't

break up with him sooner. Saying I had publicly humiliated him and that he thought I loved him the same way and that he felt our relationship was strong enough to consider taking the next step. Now this is completely out of left field. I literally have got no idea where in the world he's got this idea from. The closest we've ever physically been is a hug, hello and goodbye. I've never even jokingly flirted with him, for exactly this reason. I've had too many friendships collapse because they can't tell the difference between serious, interesting and joking banner and friendships, so I've been extra careful to not. We've never kissed, never been on a date, never had sex. I do not find him physically attractive and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him.

I don't understand where on earth he's got this idea that we are. This isn't something he's ever bought up before this and I'm genuinely bewildered. He hasn't returned to the hotel yet, I periodically knocked a check, and I've been listening out for him walking up the hallway or anything. Nothing. I haven't responded to his long paragraph because honestly, I don't know how to. I'm just so stunned and taken aback that I genuinely have no idea where to go from here or what to do. I haven't told anyone I know in person yet.

Mostly because I don't want to bring this up to people who know Jordan. So here I am turning to strangers on Reddit instead. What in the world do I do update one? Hey, I'm not dead. I'm back at my parents' house at the moment and I'll be staying here until school picks back up in a bit instead of traveling around. It's nice to be home anyways. Jordan did in fact not come back to the hotel. I stayed up until 1 a.m. before falling asleep and he didn't return.

When I woke up the next day, the hotel staff let me know he had changed. checked himself out at about 6 a.m. I did end up responding to his big long text. I took everyone's advice and told him that I was sorry it didn't go as he had expected but that I wasn't sure where he'd got the impression we were together. I said I'd be happy to sit and have a discussion about it all so we could make sure we're on the same page. He was not happy about this at all. And he again went off which a bunch of the same type of thing he'd said in his first message. It didn't really seemed to be going through his head at all. Even in these new texts he kept referring to this all as me breaking up with him, despite me explicitly telling him we are not and never have. Again,

all his messages were very clear and coherent, even if what he was saying was not based in reality at all. He wasn't sending paragraphs, just sentences in really quick succession which was blowing my phone up. He told me he didn't want to meet up with me to talk because I had ripped out his heart and crushed it in public. I did ask him, for specific instances he could recall between us that made him think we were dating, but he completely ignored the question and just kept going on and on about how hurt he was that I was breaking up with him and how he felt his world was ending. He said he loved me more than anything and had felt so confident that I had two, which is why he felt so certain about

proposing to move our relationship along. Eventually, to be honest, I grew pretty tired of the conversation and stopped responding, because it was just going around and around in circles. me asking where he got this idea, him ignoring this and telling me how hurt he is I'm breaking up with him over this, etc. He went on and on saying he thought it would be a ring I like, because it was my favorite gem, ruby, instead of diamond. It's got me wondering how much he actually spent on this damn thing. I didn't look very clearly at the ring so I couldn't tell if it was something super expensive or not, and that he had been working up the courage to do so for a while and figured doing it when I was at home would make it more special. For a while, he was just talking to himself in my texts, because I wasn't responding anymore.

When I checked back about 20 minutes later, I had something like 60 messages from him. Granted, they were all one sentences. At the very end he apologized and told me that it didn't matter anyway because I wouldn't see him around anymore. Obviously I was concerned so I asked for clarification. He said that he was going to drop out of university and go back home because he couldn't deal with the shame. That's where our conversation ended. I didn't really know what to respond to that. As it stands now, I don't really know where Jordan is.

I didn't ask him, which is my bad. I'm not sure if, when we will talk again. I'm sorry this is quite a boring update. Unfortunately, I can't excite everyone with A and then he turned up at my door, and then he sent me flowers, or whatever. It feels a lot as unanswered. I still don't know where he got the idea we were saying from, he hasn't explained that. So I'm sorry I can't give everyone that answer.

I haven't reached out to his family yet. I did consider it, but if he's not having a mental health crisis, I don't really want to involve them unnecessarily. Mini update, so adding on a lot of people said I should ask our mutual friends if he's ever bought this up before. Ever suggested we were dating, etc. All of the people I've asked, granted it was only five, said that they've not got a clue and he's never mentioned it before now.

I don't know then if this is something that he's newly started thinking, if it's been something long-term, etc. Either way, in addition, I've also screenshoted all of his texts, etc. Just in case. Reading back on them not with a slightly less confused mindset. They read pretty manic. Still haven't heard back from his mom just yet. Update two, Hey, it's me again. Still doing okay and hoping this will be the last update I need to make, granted I thought the last one would be the last. I did say I wasn't going to make another update unless something significant happened. That's why it's been a week, so I'm sorry for the silence.

Following my update post, Jordan's mom did message me back on Facebook, that same day. We had a chat for a little while, she's a really nice lady she agreed though that this was incredibly out of character for Jordan, and in fact, She mentioned a few other things that she had noticed as being off about him in the last few weeks. Nothing crazy, just things here and there she'd never known him to do or say. I spoke with her at length about Jordan's mental health and potential psychosis, and she told me that there is a history of mental illness on his dad's side, including a paternal uncle's suicide, but that she doesn't know all that much about it because they've not spoken to one another in quite a long while. Our conversation lasted about an hour, I showed her Jordan's texts, etc., and she agreed

that they sounded quite manic, regardless of how coherent they were. A lot of people also asked if he had told our mutual friends and acquaintances that we were dating. I did message our mutual friends, our dorm mates, etc., and they all basically said they've got no idea what I'm talking about. So it seems he's just been sort of having these thoughts by himself without expressing them? I don't know how to get in contact with his close friends that we don't share, so I can't really ask them. Anyway, for a few days, that was it. Until yesterday evening anyway, which is where the big and positive depending on how you see it update comes. I got word from Jordan's mom that he had been detained under Section 136 by the police.

For anyone not from the UK or who, like me, doesn't know what that is, from what I can tell it basically means he was suffering from an obvious mental health in public, with their behavior concerning enough that they're a danger to themselves or to others, and police think they need immediate and urgent care. What I know from here is pretty minimal. I'm not sure where he was taken to, but his mom said that he would be there for the day while they perform a mental health assessment. So I assume that's what they're doing today. She said that essentially he had been out in the streets yelling about things, she didn't specify

what, and intimidating other people on the street. He was throwing things around and generally just causing a lot of issue. Police got called because people thought that he was drunk. They established he wasn't, not sure if that's just from how he was acting, breathalyzer, etc. I honestly don't really know how it works, and that's all I know. His mom and I again had a chat and we sort of assumed that mental health, psychosis is likely right. The rejection of the proposal probably set him into a spiral of getting worse in the last few days. bringing us to where we are right now. I do feel pretty awful about that. I'm doing my best not to

blame myself, but it's hard not to feel like I caused it. Either way, way, he is currently with police, mental health professionals, etc. likely being assessed. I don't know how the system works, so I'm not sure what will happen beyond this point. If someone with more knowledge wants to chime in, please do. I'm hopeful, though, that this will mean Jordan will be able to get some help for whatever it is he is currently dealing with. My hope is therefore I won't need to update again, and this can end here. I have yet to speak to the university about the situation just yet. Not really sure how to, if I should approach that, so I'm leaving it be for now. This has been a whole lot of emotions, and I really appreciate the help of everyone on my last

two posts. Again, I won't update again now unless something major happens, but I highly doubt I will learn much more. If he gets diagnosed with anything, I'll see if I can find out what from his mom and I'll add it as a small update to this post, though some form of psychosis is definitely looking most likely. I don't want to bother her while they're struggling with this though,

so we will see. Thanks again, everyone, and thanks for following along. It's been really reassuring to have this support and people with way more understanding than I have to help me. Next story, wife and her best friend tried forcing their kids to date for years. When my son rejected her daughter's public proposal, she got bullied at school. Then my wife demanded he apologize. This is a throwaway, but this involves some absolute high school drama nonsense that someone my age should have to deal with, but maybe I am tripping

and missing something. So, here I am. I, 45M, share a daughter, 17F, and son, 15M, with my wife, 41F. My wife's best friend, 40F, has two daughter, 18F and 15F. My wife's best friend moved to our town about six years. My wife and her best friend have been not so subtly pulling for the two 15-year-olds to end up together. I find this weird and low-key creepy. About two years ago, wife's B.F's youngest daughter appeared to have developed a crush on our son. My son talked to me about it and he had zero interest. So, we discussed how to tactfully but firmly let her down. She has approached him again a number of times over the last couple of years and he has reaffirmed his lack of interest. This past summer, my wife's BF's oldest daughter turned 18. Her parents went all out for her

birthday. It was a whole weekend of festivities and events. One of the events was a couple's dinner for the oldest daughter and all her friends and couples. The younger daughter of wife's BF wanted to go to the dinner but did not have anyone to go with. She asked my son, and he agreed to go, but only as friends and just this one time. So, they went together. After the dinner, the couples all watched ten things I hate about you together. It was my son's first time seeing it and he commented that he thought the Heath Ledger's singing scene was cool, this is important later. My business partner, 44M, every year, for the last five years, throws a huge Halloween party. All our employees are invited along with close friends and family.

The party requires a costume. And at this party, there are prizes for best individual costume, group costume, and couples costume. My wife's B.F. and her family are obviously invited every year. This year, the Halloween party is tonight, October 26th. So, let me get to the reason I am here. About a month ago, my son is at school and comes towards him as my wife's BF's younger daughter with the whole song and dance routine. She ends it by asking him to be her date for the Halloween party. My son was so frustrated and reiterated, for everyone to hear, that he is not interested in her like that at all. Of course, it being high school, some kids laughed and she ran off crying. She has been bullied pretty badly because of it.

My wife's BF is livid and thinks our son owes her daughter an apology. My wife agrees and thinks, at a minimum, he needs to defend her against the bullying. My son has said that for two years he has told her he is not interested and reiterated it over and over. At this point, he thinks it's kind of harassing to him and it is not his role to defend her harassment of him. I agree with my son. My wife and I have had a number of disagreements about it since it happened. Well, things have intensified in the last couple of weeks or so because another girl, who wife's BF's daughter apparently does not like, asked our son to be her date for the party and he agreed. They are doing a pretty dope couple's costume. This has really pissed off my wife because she thinks he should, at least, not go to the party with another girl out of respect. I think that is ridiculous. I plan on driving them to the party with me. My wife now does not want to go to the party and is saying I am.

am in awe and raising our son to be one. So, Ida. Update 1, November 14, 2024. Given the events of the past couple of weeks, I thought I would give an update. My wife did not come to the Halloween party. I took my son and his friend and they had a great time. Unfortunately, only came in forth in the couple's costume voting. After the party, tensions with my wife died down considerable. She still felt what I did was wrong, but she took a what is done is done attitude. The bullying at school has gotten more intense. Apparently, my wife's best friend's daughter confronted the girl who my son did take to the Halloween party. That escalated the bullying from other girls and two factions have formed among the girls in two grades over this and it has gotten

out of hand. Apparently some accusations have been thrown around about cheating at my son by various girls. My son has been unbothered because all his truly good friends know the truth. Last Friday we got a call from the school wanting to meet with us about the situation since my son was the source, their words, not mine, of the issues. We met with some of the administration, and one of the teachers, on Tuesday. They wanted my son to help the situation by defending my wife's best friend's daughter to their classmates. He refused and talked extensively about her harassing behavior over the past two years. They pushed against his description of her conduct. But, we ended the meeting with my son promising to provide a list of her harassment over the past

two years. Tuesday evening, my son prepared the list and showed his mother and I. When my wife saw the list, it was like scales fell from her eyes. She got pretty emotional, apologized to our son, apologized to me, and we had a good group hug. She is now 100% on our side. She asked our son if she could share the list with her best friend. My son agreed. My wife's best friend's response was to double down. My wife is going low contact for the time being. On Wednesday, we took the list to the school. It is a private school and has a strict code of conduct for students in and out of school. So, there is a possibility best friend's daughter may have some type of punishment for her behavior. I took my son out of school. I took my son out of school.

for the day and we hung out all day. Just dropped him back off at school today. So, this is the update. Edit, I wanted to add something I said in the comments. My mom for years was a counselor. One thing she taught me is that repentance and forgiveness are not events, but processes. Also that in order for a relationship to be restored, there must first be repentance from the wrongdoer. In light of that, a practice she had our family do was to write letters when one of us caused harm to another. The letter includes, in detail, one, the wrong the person has committed, two, the resulting harm that was done, three, the immediate actions that will be taken to mitigate the harm, and, for the long-term actions being taken to mitigate the harm slash ensure the action

is not repeated. My wife is currently working on her letter. The person who receives the letter can respond and request that additional actions be taken to address the harm my wife knows she is only at the beginning of the process and that it is going to take time. Update 2, January 18, 2025. This will be the final update. After everything that went on with the school last semester, my wife's best friend decided to remove her from school, and she is now going to the local public school.

But, a week ago, my son received an email from the daughter apologizing for everything that occurred last semester and asking for them to remain friends. Apparently her dad finally set her dad finally set her. down and explained how everything she did would look from a guy's perspective. My son wrote back and said while he accepted the apology, he thinks it is best that he keep his distance. He wished her luck at the new school. My wife's best friend still insists that my son should apologize to her daughter. My wife has said, in no uncertain terms, that shit isn't happening. A few more kids were

disciplined by the school since my last post, but things have calmed down on that front. We are doing family counseling, and it has been going well. That is all. This is the final update. I hope you enjoy this story. Smith contrasted my flawed gestation with Val's flawless one for nine moons. Following Val's delivery, both my spouse and I severed ties with Smith. Been married for well over two years and have been together for seven. He's amazing, quite literally the man of my dreams, and I have an amazing life with him now. My parents and the rest of my family love him. I'm Mexican and have a really big family.

Fortunately, I haven't heard a single member of my family say they didn't like him as he is a gentleman to everyone which is what made me fall in love with him in the first place. We are the perfect partners and we rarely have arguments except when it comes to his mother. Mill is a nightmare, to say the least. My husband's family is smaller compared to mine. Other than his parents, he has a sister who got married last year. His parents are the stereotypical conservative small-town Christians and his mother is extremely protective about them to the point of being overbearing. She likes to be in control and insists on spending time as a family during the holidays.

If we don't listen to her demands, then she starts making a scene. When I met his family for the first time, his dad and I had no problems bonding as he was really chill and quiet. His sister, who was in her college in a different state and moved back only two years ago, has a great relationship with me. She treats me like her own sister. But when it came to his mother, it was quite difficult since she would say the most ridiculously sexist thing to me.

For example, when they asked me what I did for work, I told them that I was a marine biologist, specializing in conservation efforts for marine life. Phil said that was awesome and looked really happy about it, but Mill just kind of a frown without speaking a word to me. I brushed it off not thinking much about it, but later my Phil called my husband to say how my Mill wanted him to break off the relationship with me. According to my Phil, she has said I'm not the kind of woman that is good enough for her son. Her reasoning is because I don't act like a woman should since I have a job. I love my job and I love being a scientist. My husband has never expressed that he wants me to be a housewife or take

up a stereotypically feminine job. If he did, we wouldn't be together. But apparently, that's what his mother thought he needed. She complained that with the well-paying job I have, might not become a housewife after marriage and that he should have found a better woman than me. My husband firmly told Phil to convey to his mother that who he chooses to marry is none of her business. I was glad my husband stood up for me. This was a green flag for me and also why I didn't walk away from our relationship right then and thereafter hearing what his mother thought about me. Unfortunately, as we kept getting serious, Mill just got worse and worse towards me despite how much my husband tried to protect me.

It started out with snide comments here and there whenever we were left alone. She would manage to sneak into conversations about the fact that she thinks a good wife should be a homemaker taking care of the house and waiting for her husband to come back home. She also made it clear to me on several occasions that I didn't look like the kind of woman my husband should have brought home as I am not feminine enough to carry children. At first, I didn't take it seriously as I figured she might be joking, but when she kept repeating it, I realized she was serious about it and I was shocked by the way her mind worked. One day when we were over for dinner after Mill had insisted on us coming over, she went off on this

rant about how she missed living in a world where women took care of their own family and men went out to earn for their family. My husband quipped saying that the world didn't work like that anymore and that he was lucky to have a partner like me since we both earned quite well and took care of the house together. Mill shook her head hearing this and started saying how women should act like women and men should act like men. I knew she was knowingly talking about this, but I tried to keep a cool head. Phil told her to calm down, and that this wasn't the time for that kind of discussion we needed to have, but she got mad seeing that he was not supporting her. She continued to say how she was just speaking the truth and that she wanted the best for her son.

She then looked towards me pointedly. I had heard enough from her so I quietly got up from the table and asked my husband to drive me home, which he readily agreed to do. He looked at his mother with disappointment and we walked out. Later when Phil called to men things, I firmly told him that it wasn't up to Mill to decide who her son gets married to and that she should stop trying to taunt me unnecessarily about having a job. Phil agreed and tried to apologize on behalf of her, but I wasn't having it. My husband agreed and told his dad that if she didn't apologize, then he would not be going back to see her ever. Perhaps his threats scared her into apologizing to me and I asked her to never bring it up again and she agreed so I managed to let that situation roll off my shoulders. Unfortunately, snakes don't shed their skins easily and just a few months later, when my husband and I first started living together, this was before we got married, and I had to go on a research expedition for a few weeks.

she found out and called me to ask who was going to take care of the house and her son. I was confused hearing her questions and put her on speaker so my husband who was driving next to me could hear her as well. I asked her what she meant by that and she started to say how now that I was living with her son, I needed to stop being so immature. She continued to say how I should not go out for these expeditions and commit more to being a good partner to her son. My husband angrily told her that he didn't need anyone to take care of him and that we were equal partners who should. shared responsibilities. She got upset and started to say how we could not get married since I didn't know how to be a proper wife. My husband asked her to mind her own business and cut her call.

When my husband proposed to me, my mill was extremely unhappy, but she was even more unhappy when she found out that we wanted a small wedding. I had a huge family and it would be expensive for us to invite all of them since we were also looking to move into our own place so I finally chalked it down to all my close family members and I had already made up my mind to have a celebration with the other family members later and treat them. But Mill started arguing with my husband saying how she wanted to invite all her friends who she had not met for a very long time and our wedding would be the perfect occasion for it. When my husband asked her if she would be paying for their plates if we did agree to invite them, she got offended saying how as his parent, he should feel

ashamed to even ask this since we both earned so well. We scoffed hearing her response and made it clear that we had already made up our minds about having a small wedding and if there was any uninvited guests that she had invited, then she would be responsible for their meals. Mill didn't like this, but she could not do anything about it. During the wedding, she was loudly complaining about everything and made it very apparent that she hated my wedding gown. I didn't pay any heed to her comments and acted like she didn't exist because, for one day, I didn't want to be hurt by her mean comments. Sill, trying to protect me, tried her best to keep Mill away.

from me for the rest of the evening. Last year during mid-April, we found out that I was pregnant which was such good news for us since we had been trying for some time. We waited until I was around nine weeks pregnant to tell our close family and friends about it. My Mill was quite upset that she was not the first one to know. She called me to say how is my husband's mother, she had every right to know first and that she was disappointed in me. I told her how we wanted to wait before saying such important news and that if she wanted to complain, she would She could feel free to call up my husband since I was in the mood to listen to her lectures about what a good woman should do.

Just a month after I had announced my pregnancy, as luck would have it, Sil told us that she had just found out that she was pregnant also. We were shocked yet pleased to hear about this. This just meant that there would be one new addition to our family. Sil wasn't yet married but had a serious long-time boyfriend who we had all met. I knew that Mill would make a big deal about this pregnancy before marriage thing, which she did as expected but my husband supported his sister as much as she could and finally, Mill accepted. Sill was extremely emotional and was happy that he would have two grandchildren at a time.

Sill and I started spending more and more time together since we were simultaneously pregnant and going through this journey together. We leaned on each other for advice and companionship during a period that was both magical and challenging. We shocked for our babies together and decided on our nurseries. During this time, Mill started to comment. I would constantly compare my pregnancy with Sil's pregnancy journey out of nowhere as if it was some sort of a competition. She would say things like how Sil was clearly better equipped to be a mother than me since she had always been a homemaker unlike me who had a job. There would be snide remarks here and they're like if I vomited more and she found out. She would say how Sil never vomited this much so it clearly means that her womb was better for the baby.

As much as I tried to let her comments go, it would bother me and Sil hated it as much as I did. When it came time for my gender reveal party, I asked Sill to find out the gender of our baby from our doctor so she could prepare the envelope. She did the same when it came time for her gender reveal party. Mill was furious when she found out about this and had a major meltdown. She turned up at our doorstep screaming at us that I was trying to take away her grandchild from her by not allowing her to organize this gender reveal and that my husband should put his foot down when it came to me so she could be more involved in my pregnancy. My husband didn't like the way she was speaking to me as it was starting to give me a headache so he told her to get out or she would be cut off permanently from our grandchild's life. As usual, she made a scene crying and insisting that she only wanted the best for her

grandchild but made her exit eventually. Later, we received calls from Phil and Sil as they were concerned with how she was acting, and we had to tell them everything that had happened. Sill was shocked to hear how her mother was behaving and urged me to rest as much as I could because clearly, I was distressed after all my mill screaming. During Christmas, my husband told his mother that we weren't coming to Christmas since I couldn't travel long distances. She was pissed to hear that, arguing how he was trying to stray away from his family and when he refused to listen to her, she hung up in the middle of the conversation.

We thought she understood and would not bother us again. To our surprise, a week later, she texted him saying we should be at her place sharp at 4 p.m. My husband texted him, back to her reminding her about their conversation earlier about us not coming. She decided to call him and started screaming at him that he had no right to avoid family by acting like this and started asking questions if I was trying to deter him from coming. My husband told her that it was both our decision to not go and she started screaming again about how he needed to control his woman. Understandably, I started realizing how controlling and toxic mill was becoming day by day

and would share my concerns with my husband and sill. Both of them would agree that she was clearly crossing the lines and would stand up for me but their mother was exhausting. When it came time to give birth, we didn't have time to inform anyone as I went into preterm labor at 33 weeks and our baby boy was born at 34 weeks via duct emergency C-section after all efforts of natural birth failed. After my husband checked that both I and the baby were okay, he announced our son's birth on the family group chat and also informed my family. Everyone was so happy and busy congratulating me, but Mill had yet another meltdown about not being told I was in labor and that the baby had been born. She sent us a barrage of texts personally saying how she should have been there in the delivery room with me watching her grandchild coming into this world. This was absolutely ridiculous since I would have never allowed her in, but I didn't reply to correct her delusions as I was busy with my baby. When we announced his name, she called my husband crying about how it sounded too Mexican and that he should keep a different thing.

name. When my husband said he liked our son's name, she said how it could be our son's middle name, but we needed to keep a different name. We obviously didn't listen and she kept fussing about it. When it came time for her to meet our son, she insisted on calling him a completely different name which took us by surprise. She tried to justify saying how this could be her special little name for him, but my husband firmly asked her to cut it out. She also hates the fact that I breastfeed my son because then I would have to take him away from her and she says that I should start feeding him formula so then she can spend more time with him. My mother who was also present with me informed her how a newborn baby needs to have breast milk, but Mill kept arguing that it was not

fair. As you can imagine, her taunts and controlling nature were becoming more and more unbearable and clear to everyone. The final straw came when she invited me out for lunch saying that she had something important to talk about. I kept trying to cancel the lunch several times, but she'd begged me saying that it was imperative that we had to meet. When I turned up, she greeted me warmly and we sat down to order our food. I then asked her why she wanted to ask me out for lunch, and it was then that Mill asked if I had thought about who our son's godfather would be. I pursed my lips hearing this since I knew she would not like the answer. I carefully explained to her house sill and I had discussed this and we were each other's children's godparents.

Mill burst out crying in the middle of the restaurant hearing this and started yelling about how I could do this to her. She said Sill had her family and I should make her my son's godmother since she had every right to take care of my son as his grandparent. I reminded her how she thought Sill was better equipped than me so naturally. She should be happy that my son would be taken care of well by her, but Mill argued back that only she could be trusted and I should make her my son's godparent. Her ridiculous demands were starting to get on my nerves and I told her firmly that we were, we were done discussing this and that if she wanted she could discuss this with my husband later, I did tell Sil regarding my lunch and she didn't like how Mill didn't want her to be our son's godparent. My husband also didn't understand why my Mill was behaving this way and kept ignoring

her calls. Last week, Sil gave birth to her daughter and she had asked me to be in the delivery room for support since I'd been through this. I happily obliged and was there with her throughout the night while my husband and my mother took care of our son at home. In the morning, after had given birth and I made sure her boyfriend was there to take over the duties, I left to come back home and rest. Throughout the day, I received calls from Mill but I was too tired to talk with her and was busy spending time with my son. In the evening, my husband who had gone to check on his sister came back home amused. I thought he was happy to meet his nephew but he told me that he was even happier for another news. This is when he revealed that apparently, Sill, tired of Mill's

toxic behavior, took a stand and decided to implement a no-contact rule between Mill and her daughter. He told me how when Mill showed up at the hospital unannounced, Sil asked the nurses to refuse to let her in. Only Phil was allowed inside to meet the baby since Sil didn't want her mother's judgments about her daughter. This was shocking and quite unexpected as I had never imagined that Sil would stand up to Mill this way. This also made me realize why Mill had been calling me the whole day. She was perhaps trying to either blame me or persuade me to convince Sill to see her granddaughter. When I talked with Sill later, I found out that this decision came after witnessing the extent of Mill's actions towards me all these years. The decision to go no contact was a necessary boundary

to protect her daughter from Mill's toxic influence. It was a moment of reckoning for Mill as the consequences of her actions finally came crashing down. The fallout has been severe, and Mill is completely cut off from her daughter's life, unable to witness the pressure. moments of her grandchild's early days. Since then, I have started to think if it would be the right decision for us as well to cut off Mill permanently. Would it be too cruel? Update 1. Hello everyone. First off, I just want to thank you all for your kind words and advice. It means a lot to me. I didn't think this would get as much attention as quickly as it did. My husband and I have not had any contact with Mill since we found out that Sill has cut her off. She continues to call

us, but we ignore them. I discussed with my husband what I was thinking and we agreed that for our mental peace, it would be better for us to cut her out permanently since there is no guarantee that she won't behave the way she behaves with me with our son. To everyone asking why we waited for so long, you have to understand that my husband is the oldest who grew up in this toxic upbringing so he never really saw how wrong this all was until his mother started misbehaving with me. My husband has always supported me and protected me yet his mother is just too much to handle. Hence, we set up a group video call with his sister and Phil where we discussed our decision and they are on our side.

Now we just need to inform Mill about our decision. Update 2, if your eyeballs are itching for an update then you better sit down, it's a bit long. My husband decided to go to call his mother and tell her about our decision yesterday evening. When she first picked up the call, she started screaming at him about how long it had been since he had talked with her and that she wanted to meet our son immediately. My husband remained quiet until she was done with her demands and then gently let her know about how she was right and that he needed to step up and be more of a man. Mill immediately agreed saying how this is what she had wanted from him all along but my husband interrupted her saying that as a man of our family, he had decided to cut her off from us permanently to protect us from her toxic ideology and drama.

My Mill was dumbfounded at first hearing this, perhaps trying to process what he had just spoken, and then when she understood the severity of our decision, she started saying how she was coming over to meet us and that nothing could stop us from meeting with her grandson. My husband immediately warned her that we wouldn't let her in and we would call the police on her for trespassing on our property. She then started screaming that this was probably my decision and that I was tearing the family apart. My husband told her to think whatever she wanted but he was done with her, but she continued to scream how this is why he should have never married a woman like me and that she knew I was bad news all along. My husband got pissed, naturally.

He reminded her that we were not the only ones cutting off contact and that Sill has done the same thing so the issue is clearly her and she needs to start accepting that. Mill, as usual, kept arguing back that I had polluted the minds of everyone and that I had successfully taken her children away from her. My husband exasperatedly told her that if she wanted to blame someone then she should blame herself for not only being a bitter person but also a racist. He said that everyone was just done with her and she needed to come to terms with her own evil actions. This shut my mill up and he blocked her after their conversation. I have done the same. I have also informed my family about the situation and to not pick up Mills calls for now.

I feel bad for my husband and Sill for not having a supportive mother, but I am also glad that I won't ever have to go through such shitty situations ever again. Update 3, it's been two months since my last update and I am happy to update that our son is doing well. Sill and I continue to remain close and we regularly meet up so our babies can have playdates. It is adorable to see how they are bonding and I hope that they continue to be each other's best friends as they grow up. Also, another happy update is that Sill is finally getting married to her baby daddy as we all knew that she would. Now coming on to the main update, we continue to be no contact with Mill. To everyone who was concerned about our safety,

don't worry we have cameras installed everywhere and we did change our lock so there is no way that Mill can ever disturb us. I doubt that she will ever confront us publicly since by now a lot of people know exactly why we cut her off so she must be definitely embarrassed. After we cut off all contact with her, she did try to persuade Phil to talk with us but he refused and let her know that he was getting sick of her too. I guess when her own husband told her this, it might have finally made her think because a few weeks later, she asked Phil to tell us how sorry she was for everything that she had done to me. I doubt that she genuinely feels apologetic, which is why we continue to not talk with her until today. Phil and my family continue to visit us and bond with our

grandchild, which is how it is going to be in the near future. I hope you enjoy this story. Father requested that I handle the payment for my secondary school fees due to their financial difficulties, yet was covertly utilizing my grandparents' funds to purchase extravagant presents for my stepmother. Siblings I, 16F, have attended private school all my life. My dad is an IT consultant and he does well for himself, so we could afford it. But recently, I was told by him and my stepmother Donna that I needed to switch to public school because they could not afford the expensive tuition for my high school anymore.

I do not want to switch schools, all my friends are here, and so I tried to talk them out of it, but they just told me that I got either the switch, or I would have to arrange my own tuition myself. And the second one is obviously impossible for me because I'm just 16. Even if I do manage to get a job, it's definitely only going to be part-time and that's not going to cover anything. So I was obviously panicking about what to do because it's not like I could go to end. anybody else for money, I had spoken to my father about it already, but he had made it very clear that if I asked anybody else for money in the family, he would never speak to me again because that would be humiliating. I literally had no other way out of this. And I thought that I would

have to drop out of my private school this year and switch to public school. But thanks to my grandparents, that's not happening anymore. A few days back, I found out that my grandparents had actually been writing my father paychecks every month to support me financially, and he had been misusing that to provide a fancy, luxurious lifestyle for his stepkids. For context, my mom passed away when I was seven, but Donna's ex-husband is still well and alive. We were not happy together, though, so she filed for a divorce a couple of years ago and her children were not happy with her for that. When she started dating my dad and got remarried, her kids became even more distant from her,

so I'm guessing that's why my dad and Donna have been spoiling her two kids, so they will finally accept them. They are just buying their way into winning over her children, and I don't know who is more shallow in the situation, her kids, who are around my age and should know better, or Donna and my dad. And I found out about all of this, purely by coincidence. Last week, her kids had come over on Friday to stay for the weekend, and I noticed that on Friday, when they arrived, their bags were relatively light and didn't look very stuffed. But by Sunday night, after they had packed up to leave the next morning, their bags looked overstuffed. I know it's not right to go snooping through somebody else's belongings, but curiosity got the

better of me and I had been curious about their lifestyle for a very long time. Anyway, while they were sleeping, I went through their things, and I saw that they had packed bags and shoes in their duffel bags and I knew that it had to be for my dad and Donna because how else would they get their hands on stuff like this while staying here? They had been at home the entire time, no guests had come over, so it had to be them and I was totally shocked. Because on the one hand, they were telling me that they were facing financial problems, and on the other hand, they were giving such expensive gifts to Donna's kids. It just didn't add up, and I knew something because she was going on. So the next morning, right before they were about to leave, I confronted Donna's kids about the stuff in their bags. At first, they hesitated to tell me, but then, the older brother told me that for the past few years,

my dad and Donna have been giving them expensive gifts and he thinks it's probably to get them to accept my dad into the family and treat him like a father figure. And they do accept their gifts, but they have no intention of accepting my father. father as their dad too, because they already have a dad and they're not interested in playing happy family with another man. The guy thought that he was giving me a lecture about my dad and family values and stuff like, but I hardly cared about any of it. I just cared about the fact that my dad had lied to me. I had noticed that Donna's kids had a very different lifestyle from mine. They always wore clothes from luxury brands, literally everything they owned was branded,

and they always seemed to have a bunch of cash on them. Before Speaking with them, I used to think that it was their father, but as it turns out, it was probably my father. I was furious after speaking to them, so that day itself, I went over to my maternal grandparents' place and told them everything, and that's when I found out from them that they had actually been writing checks to my father ever since my mom passed away, but I guess only recently did he start using those checks for anything other than me. They were equally as furious as me, and after discussing it with them, I decided to move in with

them for a couple of weeks until all of this had been sorted out. But now, I think I'm going to have to stay here indefinitely because my grandparents spoke to my dad. My dad got defensive and I don't know what exactly they spoke about, but it was clear that there was a big fight and now. My dad and Donna are panicking and texting me to get my grandparents to stop because they have been sent a legal notice by my grandparents accusing them of misappropriation of funds. And my grandparents are well within their rights to sue them for it because apparently, there had been some sort of contract that had been signed when I was younger, and unfortunately for my dad, it was actually he who had suggested it. The contract says that my grandparents will continue

to support me financially and help out my dad until I graduate from college, and that's what they had been doing. But my dad did not hold up his end of the deal so it's fair enough that he's being sued. But at the same time, my dad has been texting me, telling me that he's planning on starting his own business in a couple of months, he needs to save up money and he cannot afford to go after a lawyer and fight with my grandparents at the moment of something so petty, so I need to do something to call it off. And I can tell that he's really panic-stricken about it. He's been requesting me to do something and has been telling me to come back so we can talk it out, but I really don't feel like doing it because it all just seems very unfair to me. So Ida for setting my grandparents after my father?

Hey, thank you, everyone, for all the comments and support. Things have been very difficult for me emotionally recently, so I really needed that. The situation in my family is at an all-time low, and I feel very responsible for it, but honestly, I know that I'm doing the right thing and that's what matters. My paternal grandparents called me up a couple of days ago, told me that I was ungrateful, said that I was being bratty and selfish, and then blocked me everywhere. So make of that what you you will, and I know that my dad's side of the family all think this way. They think that I'm being selfish and entitled, they don't understand that my dad had literally been using the funds that my grandparents had been sending him to win over his stepkids instead of supporting me financially,

which is what the money had originally been meant for. I don't even know if my dad's side of the family knows the whole truth, or if they just want to come after me and make me feel bad for standing up for myself. In the past few days, I have spoken to my grandparents at length about the situation. I have told them how bad I feel about it, but they have only told me that none of this would have happened if my dad had just been upfront and honest about everything. He was the one who put me in a difficult position first, by telling me to arrange my high school tuition for myself, knowing fully well that it would be impossible for me to do so, and I would eventually have to switch to public school. And he was willing to sacrifice my education for the sake of his kids and

from what we know, my dad could have bought them the moon, and they still wouldn't have accepted him into their family, so I don't even know what he was acting so needy for. Anyway, the bottom line is that he did not feel bad for manipulating me, lying to me, and taking away the money that rightfully belongs to me so I shouldn't feel bad about anything that I'm doing now. In fact, I'm barely even doing anything. It's all my grandparents who are dealing with the legal side of things. So I just need to chill out, and that's what I'm trying to do. and since I'm discussing the legal aspect of things anyway, I learned a lot about it over the past couple of days from my grandparents. Apparently, after my mom passed away, my dad had been

struggling with work because he was depressed and he had been fired from his job. Naturally, that made it very difficult for him to take care of me because, at that point, he was only in his mid-20s and didn't have much saved. So that's when my grandparents decided to step in for a few months, until he was back on his feet. But then, my dad insisted that financial help from them would make things much easier for him, and he would really appreciate it if they could commit to it long term, even after he got back on his feet. He promised them that the money would only be used for me,

and whatever was left over every month would go into a savings account for me that I could dip into any time that I wanted to in the future. He said that this is exactly what my mother would have wanted as well, and since they were in a position to help, my grandparents agreed to it, and my dad got the lawyers involved, had a contract drawn up, which my grandparents thought was a bit unnecessary but now, they are glad for it. Because thanks to that contract, they can sue my father for not sticking to their agreement because clearly, he had been dipping into the savings. I had no idea about any of this for the past 16 years, but I guess that was a good reason because

I don't think my grandparents or my dad would have wanted me to know about this. But now, I'm glad that I know, because it's making things much easier for you. me, I don't feel as guilty. I don't understand why my father couldn't have just raised me to the best of his capabilities like a lot of other single parents. I don't understand why he had to go out and demand help from my maternal grandparents but it gave me the life that I'm used to, so I can't complain. I don't think I'll ever understand his reasons for anything, and I have stopped trying as well because it just messes with my head a lot. I'm just trying to focus on school right now, because in my personal life, everything is a total mess, and the more that I think about it, the worse I end up feeling.

So I guess I'll just have to try and chill out, like I said. Update 2 OK, so it's been two weeks since I left home and since then, I have been staying with my grandparents. After the first few days, I blocked my dad, because he had been texting me relentlessly, trying to get me to feel guilty so I would talk to my grandparents and get them to back off with the lawyers and stuff. But after a while, it got really old, and I knew that if I did not block him, he would just keep trying to guilt-trip me, and eventually, he might succeed, so, I didn't want that and that's why I blocked him. It's not like I didn't miss him, of course I did, but I had to do what was good for me. Also, after what his parents said to me, calling me selfish and entitled, and whatnot, I don't think I wanted to have anything to do with that side of the family right now. And so, for the past week and a half, I haven't had any contact with my father.

But today, he finally reached out to me once again. He called me up from a burner phone, so I couldn't recognize the number, and when I picked up, I heard his voice, and I immediately thought about hanging up, but then, he told me not to do so, probably because he was aware of the situation being so bad that I wouldn't even want to talk to him. Anyway, he did most of the talking, he told me that he was really sorry. about everything. He said that he knew that he had failed me and that he hadn't been prioritizing me, but he just wanted me to come back home so we could sort things out. He didn't even care about the

lawyers. He could pay back all the money that he spent over the years on his stepkids and he would make sure that the calculations were all verified by my grandparents and their lawyer, so it would be a very transparent transaction. He was ready to do all that it took, but all he wanted was for me to come back because he really missed me and at that part, he started crying. I could tell that he was being sincere about everything, and it was difficult for me, but through tears, I had to tell him that I really needed some space and time away from him to sort out how I felt about this entire situation. Of course, all of this has been a huge betrayal to me, I feel terrible about it, and it's not that easy for me to just forget about it and pretend like everything is fine, so I can forgive

him and move on and go back to staying with him. I thought that he was going to get defensive or maybe he was going to argue with me about it or something, but instead, he just told me that he could understand what he had put me through. When he was really sorry about it, he had lost sight of what was important, and he had ended up spending way too much time, energy, and money on kids that were not his, instead of prioritizing the one child that was actually his flesh and blood and there was nothing in the world that was more disappointing to him than that. So instead of fighting with me on that, he actually validated my decision and said that if he had been in my place, he would probably feel the same way and he understands and respects my need to stay away from him

at the moment. That was sad, but before he was about to hang up, I told him that the one thing that he could do for me was come to a settlement with my grandparents because, like he had said, he was willing to return all the money and have a very transparent transaction process verified by the lawyer and stuff. That would put an end to all of this, and I think that's what I really wanted for things to be sorted out in my family. So this was something that he could do for me, and I asked him, once again, I thought he was going to decline, but he told me that he had been planning on coming to a settlement anyway, because he knew that he was wrong, and he didn't want to waste more money on lawsuit where he knew he had messed up anymore. And that was good news,

but until he actually makes a move to back off, I'm not going to tell anybody anything because I don't want to get ahead of myself. However, after that conversation, I did understand. I did block my father. I don't know how to feel about the situation at the moment, but the truth is that I really do miss him. He is the only parent I have left, and I know that he has messed up in the past few years, but before that, he used to be the most amazing father, and even in the past few years, apart from the whole financial situation, he has been there for me emotionally at all times. I know it sounds ridiculous, but currently, I'm actually really confused about what to do regarding the situation with my father because I know that most people.

would say that I shouldn't forgive him and that I should never talk to him again and stuff, but then again, that's not how I feel. I have thought about it, and I really do want my father in my life, but I'm not sure if forgiving him right now is the right thing to do. Especially after that phone call, I'm just even more of a mess than I was before. Hey, so it's been a few days since I posted last, and since then, there have been a lot of opinions in the comment section. A lot of opinions regarding whether I should forgive my father, I should reconnect with him or whatever, and all I have to say to that, I really value all the advice that people have for me, but I think this is something that I have to deal with on my own.

After all, I am just 16, I don't think that even if I do make a decision right now, I'll be able to stick to it for the rest of my life. Besides, that's a huge part of the thing as well, I have my whole life ahead of me and while I can deal with not having my father involved in my life at the moment, I don't think I'm going to be fine with that in the long run. Because like a I said, when I was a kid, he was both my mom and dad and he did a fantastic job at being a single parent. Never even once did he allow me to feel like I was not a priority for him. Things only got messed up recently. It was only after his marriage that he started acting a bit differently, but even then, he tried his best to be there for me and that's why I was so skeptical about

whatever I was doing in the beginning. If he hadn't been a good father, at any point of time, I don't think I would have felt bad about what I was doing at any point either. And that's the point that I'm trying to get across. I know that he messed up, and I know that he messed up in a pretty big way, but I also know that he's apologetic for it right now. Because within a couple of days of my last phone call with him, my grandparents told me that my father was backing out of the whole lawsuit thing. He was not fighting anymore and was willing to come to a settlement with them

and was going to be transparent about everything. and then, I told my grandparents about the phone call. Now, I knew that he was going to do exactly what he had said he would do. And after I spoke to my grandparents, I also told them how I felt about the situation with my dad, and that while I love my grandparents, I also love my father. They also seemed to understand where I was coming from. But they warned me that right now, things are very tense and I might want to take some time to think about what I want to do, and then come to a decision about whether I want to forgive.

my father or not. But whatever I decide, my grandparents have told me that they are going to stand by my side and try their best to accept it, even though they have lost their trust and respect for my dad permanently after everything. But in spite of that, if I wanted to forgive him and let him be a part of my life again, they wouldn't oppose it. And even though I haven't made a decision yet about whether I want to forgive him right now or not, I feel happy, knowing that at least whatever I decide, my grandparents are going to stand by my side. And as long as they respect and accept my decision, I don't care what anybody else thinks.

Of course, I'm not stupid, I am aware of the fact that no matter what happens later, things will never be the same between me and my dad ever again. Because of the things that I have found out about him recently, I don't think I can let myself forget about it easily. And the situation between his family and me has gotten so bad, I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to forgive my paternal grandparents any time soon. Neither am I interested in speaking to them, but my dad is a different story altogether.

To be honest, things are just complicated between us right now. I don't know what to make of it. I don't even know if I would do the right thing if I decided to forgive him. The situation is messy, weird, and I've just never been in a place like this before, especially not with my family. I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to deal with the confusion regarding how I feel about my dad right now, I just don't know what to do. If I do decide to forgive him at any point, I'm pretty sure that we are going to need therapy because otherwise, I don't really know how we are going to be able to work this out. I know that he asked me to come back, but I don't see that happening anytime soon either. I'm lucky enough to have rich grandparents who could afford

to fight for me, but had that not happened, I couldn't even imagine the situation that I would be in right now. And it might even get worse with him, and he would have been ready to put me through it, had my grandparents not been able to fight for me. So knowing that, it changes everything, but currently, at the moment, I know that he's trying to resolve things. I know it seems like I'm just talking in circles at the moment, defending and blaming my father within a few lines, but honestly, that's how things have been in my brain for the past few days. That's how confused I am, so I'm just trying to put it out the best way that I can. Anyway, I think I've spoken about it enough, I need a break, and I don't think I'll be posting for the next couple of weeks until I've been able to come to a decision about what I want to do about everything.

Update 4, hey, so it's been three weeks since my last update and like I said, I wouldn't be posting until I decided what I wanted to do. And I have, I have made up my mind finally, and I don't think I'm going to be letting my father be involved in my life in the same capacity once again. It was very difficult for me to come to this decision because for the past three weeks, I had been in touch with my father on it. and off. He was trying desperately to get me to forgive him, and I really wanted to, but in the back of my mind, I still had my doubts about him. And after a while, I figured out that if I still had reservations about him, it would be stupid of me to go back to stay with him or forgive him and pretend that everything was fine. Because at the end of the day, I knew that everything was not fine. Everything will never be fine again because of the things that he has done. And I cannot pretend

otherwise, I just can't do it. So the best thing for me to do was to stay with my grandparents, and they have told me that I'm welcome to stay with them for as long as I want to. They don't have a problem with it and in fact, it makes them happy. I know that my dad would love to have me back again, but that's not what I want or need right now. So I reached out to him myself today, and I told him what I had been thinking. I said that after everything that had happened, it would be very difficult for me to bring myself to him again. And if we were living in the same house once again, would probably end up feeling very weird about it.

Especially with Donna around, knowing that she was a part of the whole thing, and throughout the past few weeks, she had never bothered to reach out to me and apologize because I think she knew what she was doing. But she didn't feel sorry about it. My dad tried to correct me at that point. He tried to tell me that she did feel bad

and had thought about contacting me but then decided against it because that would probably make things worse. But that did not make a difference to me because in the end of the day, she didn't even try, whether it would have made things worse or better should have been left up to me. The bottom line is that she did not even try, and it did make me a bit upset because I had always been nice to Donna. We had had a normal relationship and obviously, I did not look at her as my mother, but I did give her the respect that she deserved in the family and accepted her. So an apology was the least I could have expected from her, especially after the way she and my father had screwed me over.

Anyway, she hadn't apologized, and after everything that had happened, I really didn't want to go back to living with him. At least not right now, so I was going to continue staying with my parents and soon enough, I would be heading out to college, so either way, I would have to leave. He sounded very disappointed at that point, but he accepted my decision, and he told me that if that's what I wanted, then he was fine with that. And then he told me that he knew that he had lost the right to ask anything of me, but he still wanted to request me to at least keep in touch and meet him occasionally. Because he was really sorry about everything that has happened, everything that has gone wrong and he knows that there is not much that he can do to put it right

with me emotionally, but he wants to try at the very least. It took me a few minutes to think about it, but then I told him that I was ready to keep in touch, see him occasionally, but I also wanted us to go to therapy and try to work things out with the professional in the room because I think that we really needed that. He agreed to it, but I think given the state that he was in, he would have agreed to everything I asked of him at that point. Anyway, I've started looking for family therapists now, and we're going to try it out. We are going to meet once a week with a therapist, try to make phone calls twice a week at least and just try to sort things out. My grandparents are also happy with this arrangement,

and maybe hopefully, in the future, everything will be fine once again, but right. Now, I just want to focus on my own mental health. I hope you enjoy this story. A moon following mother's passing, Father wedded his paramour and brought her children into our residence. Presently, he anticipates me to relinquish my chamber and care for them. Hello. I am here to know if what I have done is right by asking my father to move out of my house.

For context, sometime after I turned 12, my parents got a divorce because my father was cheating on my mom with a much younger woman. I will call her Sarah since I don't want to use her real name. I remember the day vividly when I came back home from school early. I had a half day and my mom had given me keys to her house so I could let myself in. We did have a babysitter, but she wasn't home yet so I thought she was running late. I heard some noise from my parents' room and I got scared. I ran to get the phone to call 911 when I suddenly heard my dad's voice from upstairs. Curious, I went up to my parents' room to see my dad and this woman, Sarah throwing their clothes back on.

It was honestly scarring and I gasped in shock audibly. They froze seeing my face. I ran out of there immediately and locked myself in my room. I burst into tears as my dad kept pleading with me outside my door to open up so he could apologize. He kept telling me to not tell my mom anything. Before I could say anything or react, I heard my mom yelling down. I opened the door to see my mom standing in the doorway looking at my dad angrily.

Apparently, the babysitter had canceled at the last minute so my mom had rushed in from the office after taking a half day so I wouldn't be home alone. She had discovered Sarah trying to get into dad's car outside and had put two and two together. My dad had driven them to the house thinking that nobody would be home at this time. When my mom noticed that I was home and had tears running down my face, she realized that I must have caught my dad and chewed my dad out. My dad kept apologizing and trying to justify how he didn't mean to hurt us. Despite all the yelling back and forth, my dad said he had to go and drop Sarah back at the office. My mom couldn't believe his words that in the middle of our fight, he was going to walk off and drop his mistress. My mom told him

that Sarah could take a cab, but my dad insisted saying that he couldn't let her do that. My mom's eyes widened in shock upon hearing his words and my dad left. This affair was very unexpected as my mom and dad had been together for a very long time. His mistress was a woman he worked with who was 20 years younger than him. I don't know what she wanted out of him, but I guess it was so important that she had to destroy our family over it. Over the days through several fights, my dad eventually confessed to my mom that Sarah was pregnant. This was devastating for my mom to hear as my mom always had pregnancy-related issues and had miscarried twice after having me. He wanted Sarah to keep the child and had made up his mind about leaving us to start a family with him. This led to a nasty divorce

between them. My dad tried to get a hefty alimony from my mom. You see my mom comes from an affluent family but my dad doesn't. In the divorce, my dad wanted our house and wanted to kick my mom out but because he had cheated, he lost the battle. Throughout all this, my mom tried her best to shield me from what my dad was doing to her, but I was old enough to know what was happening. It was a really difficult time for me. Throughout the divorce, my dad never once apologized to my mom or me for what he had put us through. My mom didn't want to separate me from my dad so she allowed him weekend visitation. After the divorce happened, my father moved out and started living with Sarah. In the beginning, my dad tried his best to visit me during the weekends. He tried to be

sweet and spend time with me doing things that I loved. But as days passed, he started to smell of alcohol and I hated the nauseating smell. I remember once when we went to get ice cream, my dad fell asleep on the bench outside the shop. I was so scared that something had happened to him that I called my mom immediately. When she arrived, she could smell the alcohol in him like I did and realized quickly that he was too drunk to drive and had fallen asleep. She called Sarah from dad's phone to come and pick him up and brought me back to the house. As you can imagine, my mom was royally pissed off at my dad for putting me through danger. My mom wanted me to have a good relationship with my father regardless of their divide,

but for him to drink and drive had put not only him but me at risk. Later, when my dad was sober, he didn't even bother apologizing to my mom. He kept saying that he just wanted a nap and that wasn't a crime. My mom warned him to not drink on the days he had to come and see me and and my dad agreed. After this incident, I was scared to go anywhere with my dad. Although my dad kept his promise for a while, he slipped back into his old habits very soon. His drinking changed him. I quickly realized that my dad when he was drunk and my dad when was sober were two very different people. I remember one summer weekend, which was my 14th birthday, it was my dad's weekend.

My mom asked if she could have me for the weekend as she wanted to take me and my friend to a music event in the city. She knew I loved a particular singer and this singer was going to be performing at the event, hence she wanted to take me there as a birthday present. My dad refused, saying no way this was his weekend. So off to Dad's place, we went. His mistress didn't even acknowledge my birthday and ignored my presence as usual. I had gotten used to it by now. In the afternoon, my dad suddenly informed me that he was taking me to the music event. I knew he did it to spite our mom, but I was beyond ecstatic as I was going to be watching my

favorite singer perform live. My favorite singer was amazing and I was so happy to be there until he was done and it was some other band's turn. I was not interested in any other artists, so I went to find my dad. I found him in the drinking area which was already a bad sign. We had driven to the event and he seemed pretty drunk already with more than a few beers. I asked him nicely if we could go home now. It had been a long day and I was tired. I didn't want to hear any more music but my dad vehemently refused saying that he paid for tickets so he was going to listen to every band who was going to play in the event. I told my dad that I was really tired and my legs hurt from standing for so long and he got angry and yelled at me that if I did not want to be here anymore,

I should go and wait in his car and threw his keys at me. I did not argue, because I knew how scary he was when was drunk and I was afraid of him then. So I went to the car. I was tired, upset and terrified. I was a 14-year-old who was sitting alone in a lonely car in a bad part of the city after midnight because dad did not want to pay for parking in safer areas near the concert. I wanted to go home and I needed to use the bathroom, but there wasn't any kid-friendly place open anymore at that time. I was afraid of getting kidnapped if I went out alone without my dad. My phone was also dead so I could call my mom for help. I sat there in the dark under the streetlights in dad's car scribbling on his post-it notes waiting for him to come back.

The night was getting chilly, but I didn't want to turn on his heat as I was after my dad might scold me later. After three hours of sitting alone, scared and tired and holding back the urge to pee, my dad finally came. He was so drunk that he could not walk properly and he had two complete strangers with him, who also were very drunk. Dad said we were going to give them a ride home. I asked if it was okay for him to drive and he yelled at me that of course it was okay for him to drive and I was extremely stupid to even ask him that. I sat silently after that as we drove the strangers to their homes.

They played loud music throughout the drive. After we dropped them off, we pulled into a gas station. I finally went to the bathroom and then my dad bought me an iced tea and then we talked. He told me that he was very disappointed in me that night. I looked at him surprised while sipping my iced tea. My dad continued to say how he wanted to give me a fun night on my birthday, but all I had done was complained to him the whole night. He told me that I had been a bad girl and he was ashamed of how he acted, but he had decided to forgive me if I spent the rest of the remaining weekend acting nicely to him and his mistress. He continued to tell me how he didn't want to tell my mom any of this as he didn't want her to punish me for my bad behavior that night.

I was very naive back then and loved my dad, hence I genuinely thought that it was all my fault. I apologized and agreed to behave better so we didn't have to tell my mom about any of this even though it was one of the worst nights of my young life back then. Now that I am older, I have realized that he gaslighted me and threatened me to be silent because if mom had found out that he put my life at risk by leaving me alone in the car and driving me, drunk with me, she would have made sure that he would never see me again. As time passed, my dad slowly stopped calling me or replying to me. He continued to pay child support, but other than that, he never initiated any contact with me unless it wasn't his birthday. I remember once calling him on his birthday and Sarah picked up his call to tell me that I should stop nagging my father all the time with calls. She told me that my dad was spending time with his son, my stepbrother these days,

so I shouldn't interfere in their lives anymore. Hearing her say this was heartbreaking to me. I was still a child who was just missing my dad, but somehow I was blamed for trying to meddle in his life by his affair partner. After that day, I never called. I did hear from our relatives that Sarah and he went on to have another child, but I never stayed in touch with him throughout all this. I am now 17 years old and recently lost my mother around a month ago

and what could be the most horrible experience of my life. I spent a month and a half in a hospital taking care of her only to lose her in the end. This is an experience I will never forget and it has scarred me for the rest of my life since I had a very close relationship with my mom. I resented my dad because of the heartache he caused my mother and I blamed him for her death. After mom's funeral, I refused to talk to him initially but my dad kept begging me to allow him back into my life. We were then informed by our mom's lawyer that she had left all her assets to me which meant that our family home now belonged to me. Because I am 17, I was still not of legal age so I cannot live on my own without the permission of my dad. This meant that dad had to move back in with me along with his family.

He seemed enthusiastic about the idea and readily agreed. My aunt decided to stay with me for the time being at the place until my dad could move in. Just two days after my mom's funeral while I was still grieving, my dad informed me that he and Sarah had gotten engaged. He continued. He continued, to tell me that he wanted to let me know first before he shared the news with everyone as I was going to have a new mother. I was shocked beyond words and for a minute or two I couldn't even comprehend what he was saying. My dad kept telling me how he was excited to move into mom's place where his children could finally live in a big house. I was confused and asked him why he was telling me all this when I was still grieving mom. He told me that he was doing this for me so we could now be one big, happy family.

I burst into tears and cut his calls. I cried so much that I had puffy eyes the whole day. I didn't understand why my dad was doing all this. Last week they had an engagement party where they invited some of our relatives and friends. During the toast, Dad said something like I just can't wait to marry the perfect woman. I thank God for giving me the love of my life after all those years that I wasted with someone else. I walked out of the room after hearing what my father said. said. He basically considered his marriage to my late mother a waste of his time. It broke my heart and I wanted to leave right away, but Dad's friend and Sarah followed me. Sarah started telling me that I shouldn't leave as people in the party might question my dad, but I told her I couldn't

sit through this and I needed to go as I felt sick. Dad's friend tried to convince me to stay and say a few words about his engagement. I kept refusing and got tired of holding my anger and so I just said I have no good words to say about my cheating father and his mistress. I need to go. Amanda got angry with me and called me in a hole and told me that I needed to get over the past. I didn't even say anything and just left them behind. This weekend, my dad and his mistress got married in Vegas. They posted photos all over social media and that is how I found out. I couldn't believe how cruel my father was to get married just one month after my mom passed away. My dad, My dad called me yesterday telling me that they were on their way to move into the place.

He asked me to not cry in front of his kids as he didn't want to make them feel sad or uncomfortable. Apparently, his stepkids meant more to him than me or my emotions. I watched my mom's house get filled with their things as the packers and movers deliver their stuff. My dad and Sarah walked through the house, with Sarah leaving commentaries about what needed to be changed in the house. She also took down pictures of my mom throughout the house and put them in the garage. I have recovered them and put them under my bed for the time being. Yesterday night, we had our first dinner together. It was extremely uncomfortable for me to say the least.

I couldn't believe that my life was such a mess where I was stuck with my dad and his wife and their two kids who had toys strewn everywhere around the house. After dinner, Dad informed me that we needed to talk. With a very serious face, Dad told me that the house had only three rooms which meant that it couldn't accommodate all of us unless we were willing to compromise. He then told me that he and Sarah had given this a lot of thought and had decided that they didn't want their kids to share a room as they wanted to give them their privacy. My brows furrowed in confusion and I told my dad that other than the master bedroom and guest bedroom, the last remaining room belonged to me.

This is when my dad informed me that he wanted me to move out of my room so his older son, could have it. My eyes darted from my dad's face to Sarah in confusion as I struggled to understand what he was trying to imply. I asked him if he was serious and Lisa interjected, replying that I was 17 so I didn't really need a room of my own while her two children were still growing and needed to have their own independence. My dad nodded in agreement and told me that as his oldest child, I needed to step up and his kids, aka, my new stepbrothers. I immediately started saying how ridiculous this was and yelling at him that this was extremely unfair. I told him that I wasn't going to live out of my bedroom just because he wanted his children to have separate rooms

and went on to tell him that they could always share a room. Hearing this, Sarah yelled back that I was being selfish and I should learn to sacrifice for my family. I scoffed hearing her and told her that she was the selfish person who had come into our lives and ruined them. Sarah retorted that I should appreciate the fact that they had moved into this place to take care of me and not make this such a big deal. My dad told me angrily that I was not allowed to speak to Sarah this way if I wanted to continue living in this house. He reminded me that I was 17 and still a child under his care so I needed to listen to him. He continued to tell me that I needed to follow their rules from now on even if I didn't like them, starting with moving out of my room and crashing into the living room.

He told me that I was old enough to take care of his stepkids and he didn't want to waste his money on babysitters anymore. I started to protest again, but he firmly told me that I was welcome to run away and sleep on the footpath if I didn't follow his rules. I started to cry in anger and ran into my room while he and Sarah continued to yell at how immature I was. I'm torn, read it. On the one hand, I don't want to be the Grinch, but on the other, it's my home too. Ida, if I put my foot down and refuse to play babysitter in my living room? Or should I suck it up and embrace the chaos. Help me out here, guys. Update 1, thank you everyone for your support. I am grateful that a lot of you have left a positive comment on my post.

For those of you telling me to leave my house and move in with my aunt, although I think that's a good idea, I don't know if my dad will allow me. I also don't want to give up my room or this house because it is so many memories of my mom. It's unfair that I would have to move out of a place where my mom would have wanted me to stay. It breaks my heart to know that my dad doesn't even care about how I feel. It's just been a month of losing my mom and I am now being asked to sleep on the couch. I am probably going to cry myself to sleep tonight and will face this in the morning with a fresh mindset.

I am too tired tonight to discuss this any further. Update 2. It's been a week since my last update. A lot has happened since then. For starters, after that night. I told my aunt everything about what had happened between me and my dad. She was shocked to hear the way my dad and Sarah had behaved with me. I told her how low I was feeling and how I couldn't take it anymore.

My aunt, concerned about my well-being, immediately pulled up to our house to confront them. My dad was shocked to see her show up at our doorstep. She sat everyone down in the living room and spoke with a gentle but firm tone, emphasizing the emotional turmoil I was experiencing after my mother's recent passing. The conversation went something like this, aunt, I understand these are challenging times for everyone, but I'm worried about Lisa, my name, losing her mother and adjusting to this new family dynamic is a lot to handle. Can we talk about why you are making this transition even harder for her by threatening her? Dad, I am her guardian and I make the rules. She needs to learn to adapt to

live with us. Life doesn't stop just because her mother is dead, and I can't coddle her forever. This is my decision for our family, and I expect her to fall in line. Aunt, consider how quickly everything has happened, and the impact it has had on her. You have moved into the house and are asking her to give up her room just because you are her guardian currently. What happens one year later when she is finally able to inherit this house? My dad's eyes widened in shock upon hearing her words. Dad, this is my house now and I won't let her dictate how things will be in my own house. She's a child, and she needs to understand that.

This is how it's going to be. Aunt, she has been crying since yesterday after your conversation and, sadly, you won't see the pain you're causing your daughter. If you continue down this path, I will help her file a lawsuit against you for mentally torturing her at her own home. My dad, initially defensive, gradually realized the gravity of the situation as my aunt continued to threaten telling him that she had more than enough money to come after him. He took a moment to absorb her words and began to see the situation from a different perspective. Dad, fine. She can keep her room, but I expect her to help her out with babysitting my kids sometimes. Sarah and my dad looked at my aunt Y died who went on to tell them that she was going to involve

their entire family and reveal to everyone about what they had done to me. Dad and Sarah must have finally realized that they could not do anything anymore. My dad, reflecting on your aunt's words, recognized the need. for a more compassionate approach. Dad, you're right. I need to talk to her and find a way to make things more bearable. I won't ask her to give up her room or take care of her step-siblings. After the conversation, the tension in the house eased a bit,

and my aunt's intervention played a crucial role in ensuring your living situation became more manageable. My aunt has promised me to call her if my dad or Sarah went back on their word. I am a bit sad that it took my aunt intervening in our lives for my dad to understand the implications of his actions. If my aunt hadn't come to help me out, would probably have been sleeping in the living room by now. Update 3. It's been two months since my last update. After my aunt's intervention and a series of discussions, a more empathetic approach has been adopted in your new family dynamic slowly. Over time, the tension has eased and a new

understanding has been developed. My dad and I have found common ground, fostering an environment where my feelings are considered. He is perhaps still afraid of my aunt and has not made my life any more difficult. Sarah, on the other hand, has refused to acknowledge me if my dad isn't around. She clearly resents me

but doesn't cause trouble so I will let her behavior slide. Gradually, some compromises have been made. I have joined therapy to deal with my grief which has helped me to express myself better. This has made me realize the extent to which my dad has emotionally abused me the years. Regardless of his supposed change behavior over the two months, I can't wait to turn

18 so I can take back my house. I might not be cruel to them as they were to me, but I will be definitely asking them to move out so I can continue to live in my mom's house on my own, cherishing her memories. While challenges may still arise, I am committed to facing them and staying strong like my mom. My aunt and the rest of her family continue to show their support and I know they will always be there for me. I hope you enjoy this story. Guardians called off my celebration of commitment due to my sibling experiencing a separation,

causing me to feel downhearted. However, my relative supported me and presented me with a gift that brought joy to my entire family. Furious at me. Two weeks ago, my boyfriend of five years Caleb, 27M, proposed to me, 27F, and I said yes. When we told our families about it, they were obviously overjoyed, and my parents told me that

they were going to throw an engagement party for us. But a few days ago, they just canceled the party without even consulting me first because my sister, Penelope, 25F, was going through a breakup. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have had any issues paying for my own engagement party and hosting it myself, but my parents had promised something to me and they ended up not delivering on those promises and that's why I was upset. If they had at least spoken to me before canceling everything, would have been more understanding, but what they did was just weird.

They just called me up and informed me that Penelope and her boyfriend had broken up a day before my parents had decided that it would be best to avoid even talking about the wedding in front of her until she was in a relationship again because she was pretty much devastated. And so, hosting an engagement party for us was out of the question. The party was supposed to be happening yesterday and the invitations had already gone out a week ago, but none of that ended up happening because my parents had already cancelled everything without even speaking to me and I was very upset with them. It might have been insensitive of me if Penelope had been with her boyfriend for a really long time, but they had only been dating for eight months and she was

kind of serious about him, but I don't think it's my fault that he wasn't. And the crazy thing was that the reason they had broken up was because Penelope had asked Mary to her anytime soon. After learning that I was engaged, that would have been a bit too much for any guy to handle and I really can't even blame him for making a run for it because Penelope was taking things a little too fast for his taste and he had asked her to slow down several times but she just didn't seem ready to listen to him. So I can't say that the breakup was his fault. Penelope should have used her common sense as well and it seemed unfair for our parents to cancel my engagement party because of something stupid like this. I had told them that what they had done was

not fair and I had even referred to their reasons as stupid and petty, which made all of them pretty mad and we got into a fight and since then, we haven't been on speaking terms. I had provided a guest list to my parents for the invitations, but I ended up having to email them all myself and tell them that the party had been postponed indefinitely because I knew that I was definitely going to have that party. I just didn't know when since now I would have to plan it all over again by myself. However, there was one person that all of us missed since neither of my parents invited them and nor did I and actually happen to be quite lucky for me because now, my family is regretting everything. The person that we missed was actually my aunt,

my dad's older sister, since she pretty much lives off the grid. She has no social media and she only uses her email for official or formal work, never for personal use. So if somebody has to reach her, they have to call her like in old times, and even when we had to send her an invitation, we had to mail it to her physically and then call to confirm. But after, we got into a fight and stuff, both my parents and I forgot to disinvite her and she ended up showing up at my parents' house yesterday. And that was not good news for my parents because she's quite strict and most importantly, she has a huge inheritance that my dad had been hoping to get his hands on. My father, 51M, is the youngest of three siblings, my aunt being the oldest,

62F, and I had an uncle in the middle, but he passed away a couple of years back. My aunt used to dote on my father because he was the youngest and also because by the time he was born, my grandparents were in their late 30s and let's just say that my dad was not exactly an unexpected pregnancy, so his parents were not able to give him the kind of attention that he required. That's where my aunt stepped in and she was the one person who had always been there for ever since he was little. After they grew up, she never got married or had a family of her own, but she had made a lot of money while she had been working, and even now, she was running her own business. So my dad had been hoping to inherit all of that when she passed away.

It was something that my aunt had even discussed with my dad and he knew that if she had to name somebody as her heir, it would be him. But now, all of that's been thrown into jeopardy and that's because they decided to be honest with her about why the party had been canceled when she showed up at the house last evening. My parents had obviously expected everyone to believe that what they had done was quite reasonable and understandable, but like most normal people, my aunt called them out and told them that she couldn't believe that they would treat me like this. Then, she decided to come over to my place and I obviously welcomed her with open arms because she and I get along really well, and even though we don't really get to speak often, we only talk

whenever I call her up to check up on her. It's always great to talk to her. When she came over, I hadn't actually planned on telling her anything about the fallout that I had with my parents, but she was the one who brought it up and she told me that what had happened, I shouldn't invite them to any of my wedding events since they clearly don't respect me. I was a little shocked by that because all my life, I had only seen her getting along great with my dad, but last night, she seemed very upset. Then I asked her what was going on since it felt like there was something much deeper than the issue at hand. So she told me that being the older sibling, she had had to sacrifice a lot and her parents had never appreciated it because they believed that as the older sibling,

it was her duty to make sure that she put her brothers before herself. And that's what she had believed her entire life but now, she regrets not taking out enough time for herself because she realized that most of the time, it's only her trying to talk to my dad, but he never reaches out to her by himself unless he needs her help for something. She has tried to comfort herself by telling herself that he has a family to care for, so he can't obviously take out as much time for her as she can take out for her as she can take out him, but even then, it still feels bad. And I totally understand where she's coming from because I think that my dad doesn't speak to her or visit her as often as he should. Also, both my sister

and I are grown-ups now and I don't think he can use his family as an excuse because we are doing pretty well on our own. My aunt also told me that when she was younger, and when her parents were still around, even they had a favorite golden child and it was not her or my dad, it was the middle child. Her younger brother was their favorite because he was a boy and it could have just as easily been my father too, but he was too young at the time. All her life, she has felt like she's been dealt the short end of the straw by both her parents and her siblings and now, she felt like it was her duty to tell me that I shouldn't make the same mistakes and I shouldn't take the same kind of disrespect like she did. Because once I start forgiving people just because their family,

they start to take advantage of it, and eventually, it reaches a point where you can't go back from. And while she was talking about all of this, I really felt it because that's what I had been about to do as well. But after that conversation with her, I decided to take her advice. All cards on the table, I'd actually thought that by the time that my wedding actually came around, I would have been able to make it right with my family again. I didn't know how, I guess I'd just assumed that they would apologize to me and if they didn't, I would just let it go because I really wanted them to be present at my wedding. But after speaking to my aunt, I realized that I wasn't fine with what they had done and I needed

them to acknowledge and apologize for it. Until that happened, I wasn't interested in having them be a part of my life. And I definitely did not want to end up as a doormat for my family, and invite them to my wedding, regardless of how they had behaved with me. So after my aunt's visit last night, I decided to send a message to my parents in Penelope and tell them that until they acknowledged and apologized for their behavior, I was not interested in having them be a part of my wedding in any capacity and I would appreciate it if they stayed away. This morning, after I sent that message, I told my aunt that I had set a boundary and she told me that she really was proud of me and hoped that I would be able to fix the situation with my family eventually. But until then,

I need to stand my ground and not let them walk all over me. She had spent the night here, since she lives quite far away, and I didn't want her driving back home last evening. So this morning, when we spoke, it was in person and after that, she left and she also told me how disappointed she was that after she had scolded her brother last night. He didn't even bother to call her to make amends with her and I could really understand that both of us were very upset with our families. And then, a few hours back, my dad showed up at my door to ask me if my aunt was still here or not and I had to tell him that she had already left in the morning and she had been very disappointed that he hadn't even bothered to call to talk to her and try to mend things

after fighting with her last night. All of a sudden, when I said that, he flared up and he started screaming at me from outside the door and told me that this was all my fault and that he was sure that I was the one who had instigated my aunt against him because just now, she had called him and told him that given his recent behavior. She had changed her mind about including him in her will and had decided that she was going to leave everything to me instead. It was a huge deal because, as I said, the inheritance that she was going to be leaving is pretty massive and my dad had always expected that it would come to him, but now, he was being disappointed because of his own behavior with her.

I lost my phone at him as well, and I told him that he had no right to yell at me, especially when it was his own behavior with her that had led to this situation. If he had just had the decency to at least try and speak to his sister after she left his house last night, then maybe this wouldn't have happened at all. I didn't even tell him that he had to apologize to me, all he had to do was talk to my aunt. But he couldn't even be bothered to do that much. Even today, the only reason he had come all the way to my house was because my aunt had sent him a message saying that she would disown him and not because he actually cared about her as a person. I told him that he deserved this and for the past many years, everyone had noticed that it was always

she who had tried to keep in touch with him, and he had barely cared about her so now he has no right to complain. And he also didn't have any right to try and make me the bad guy here, especially after what my parents had done with the whole cancellation of the engagement party and stuff. I told him that I didn't have to say anything to my aunt to turn her against them. She was already pretty upset with them when she came by and, in fact, it was she who told me not to have any ties with them until they apologized. So, I didn't really have to try and badmouth them to make them look like the bad guys to my aunt. They had done that job well enough themselves. My father seemed quite surprised when I told him about all of this, and his initial instinct

was obviously to accuse me of lying because it was just impossible for him to believe that his dear sister would ever say anything against him, but he had screwed things up for himself, but his behavior, so I had nothing else to say to him. I told him to leave, but instead of just going away, he started crying on my doorstep and told me that I had turned the only family he had against him. He seemed genuinely upset, and he told me that what he had done with regards to canceling the party and stuff was not even as bad as what I had done and told me that if my aunt seemed upset with him, the least I could have done was try to contact him and told him to come over so we could all sort things out as a family. I had never heard my father crying the way that he

was this morning and I haven't been able to get it out of my head, even though he left after a couple of minutes. And now I feel guilty because I feel like a lot of problems would have just been solved if I contacted him last evening, and we all sat together as a family and tried to clear the air, but instead, I just vented to my aunt I cheated the same. I guess that made us more bitter or something but again, I don't really see anything wrong with what I did, but I still feel guilty. My fiancé doesn't think that we did anything wrong, but I still want to get a second opinion. So I'd offer not calling my father over so he could sort things out with my aunt and I? Edit, so my parents haven't always had a favorite and honestly, they were very different up until a few years back.

The reason that I had even bothered to have a relationship with my parents for so long is because growing up, they were very different, and right now, they're very different. Growing up, my sister and I were always treated equally and Penelope did not get preferential treatment just because she was younger. It's only recently that things have started changing and I was scared of giving up on my parents so quickly because after all, family is all that you have and I was under the impression that is just a phase and they are going to go back to treating us normally again. Now, obviously, that seems a bit unlikely. But yes, my relationship with my parents earlier had been pretty normal and that's why I'd even agreed to let them host an engagement party for me. As for why they have started treating us differently now, for the past couple of years, I don't really know. If I had to pinpoint it, I guess it started around the time that Penelope graduated from college. But because COVID hit, she was unable to get a job and she was pretty depressed for a whole year and there were days when she wasn't even able to get out of bed. At the time, she had been living with our parents and I had been staying with my boyfriend. And because of the quarantine and everything, we couldn't even see each other that often and

had to stick to video calls. But I guess that made my parents a little softer towards Penelope because she's obviously a lot more fragile than I am, but I think they forgot that they have two daughters and both of us need them equally to be there for us. It's not just her that has to be taken care of. It's a bit disappointing, but it's not like I can help the situation. And even my relationship with Penelope has been affected because of this because I guess she has started to think of herself as more important than me, just because our parents treat her like that. Earlier, we used to have a normal sibling relationship, and yes, we did have a sort of certain degree of sibling rivalry, but it was nothing out of hand. Recently, though, she has

started becoming a lot more of a brat and it's just upsetting. I had managed to ignore this change for the past couple of years, but now, I don't think I can do that. Update 1, so thank you so much for reaching out to me with all the comments and advice, I have decided that I don't have to get in touch with my dad or apologize to him or whatever. I don't know why he thought that I owed it to him to contact him and try to say things right with him when my aunt came over to speak to me because he had the opportunity to do it himself because before she came over to my place, she had been there with them. And he could have just acknowledged the fact that he had made a mistake and apologize to me and cleared with her, but he chose not to do that and stuck to his decision

of acting as if whatever he had done was perfectly justified. So for him to try and blame me for the situation right now is just ridiculous. And it's been a couple of days now, but earlier, it had only been my father who had shown up at my door and had been blaming me for whatever had happened. But now, both my parents and Penelope are accusing me of sabotaging his relationship with his sister on purpose and brainwashing her against him. Luckily, they haven't shown up at my doorstep yet, but I don't think there's anything stopping them for long. It's also very upsetting because my dad knows the truth and my dad knows that I didn't say anything to turn my aunt against them. She was already quite miffed with them when she came over.

She herself had said to him on the phone call that it was his behavior that had upset her, and I didn't have anything to do with it. But still, they're trying to make this all about me and make me look like the bad guy who is out for revenge. It's just petty and I know that they are doing this to get on my nerves and they are succeeding. I have even blocked them. But even then, they have found ways to annoy me by using burner phones and social media accounts. At this point, I don't even know what they want from me because I don't think in a part of is what they need. I have spoken to Caleb about it, and he thinks that my parents want me to speak to my aunt and try and make things right with them and until that happens, they're just

going to try and keep getting on my nerves. And I think he's right, but there is no way that I'm going to contact my aunt and tell to speak to these people because I don't want to do it myself, so why would I want her in that position? I guess I'm just going to have to tough it out and deal with it until they give up. And I'm fine with it, as long as they stay away from me and don't show up in person now. Update 2. So since harassing me on social media wasn't going to cut it, my family decided that they were going to go public with their hate against me and started recruiting people. Apparently, from what I have learned from a couple of relatives, they have been sending messages to and telling them that I invite them to any event in the future. They must hateful and petty person and I have brainwashed my aunt

against them by feeding her a bunch of lies. They had been telling people that my parents had kindly and politely requested me to postpone the engagement party because my sister had just been through a terrible breakup, but instead of respecting their wishes, I decided to go through with the party anyway, but since my parents did not want that. They had decided to tell me that if I wanted to have the party, then I would have to fund it myself. And apparently, I threw a hissy fit over that and then I called my aunt to come over and then

I started brainwashing her against my dad and now, not even my aunt is willing to speak to him anymore. Obviously that paints me in a very bad light, especially given the fact that they were making it seem like I had asked them to pay for my engagement party in the first place, but I hadn't. They are the ones who had offered it. So I spent the last couple of days clarifying and telling everyone the truth. Every time somebody was reaching out to me to confirm the story. It got tiring after a while, so I decided to put out a statement on my social media account as well because I didn't want to have to constantly clear the air with other people. And so far, I had been trying to avoid contacting my aunt and telling her about any of this because she doesn't really have any social media and I know that she

likes staying away from all of this. But I felt like things were getting to a point where it was becoming too much for me to handle. So I had to reach out to her and I had to tell her what was going on. So she could take a stand for me as well and tell people that I hadn't done any of the way. brainwashing. It was her own decision to cut my dad out of her life because he was the one who did not respect her. After speaking to my aunt and letting her know what was going on, she told me that she was going to speak to my father and tell him that what he was doing was just going to make her push him even farther away. She also told me not to worry, and that she would make a profile on Facebook specifically for this purpose if that's what it took. But she was going to make

sure that everyone in the family knew that it was not me who had created the situation, but it had been my father. That made me feel loads better and she stayed true to her word and created an account on Facebook specifically so she could upload a video talking about what had happened and everyone in the family saw that. After watching that, people started reaching out to me and telling me that they were definitely on my side here and were going to cut my father out of their lives because whatever was going on with him was not nice or acceptable. Having issues with me was one thing but publicizing them and trying to make it seem like I was the bad guy here was another and nobody in the family was going to stand for it and I'm pretty happy that I have a family like

this, who have a spine and are ready to take stand for me when it is necessary. My dad had always been well liked by everyone, so I had actually initially been very skeptical if people would even be willing to believe my side of the story. But I'm glad that people are willing to stand by what's right. My family has had nothing to say about any of this and a couple of hours ago. I started hearing from people that all of them had deactivated their accounts, probably because they thought that being active on any social media would make them answerable to their family. I don't care about any of it. I'm just happy that my side of the story is out and nobody can

accuse me of being the villain anymore. And even if people want to do so even now, it's their problem and not mine. I have said whatever I had to say and now, I'm not willing to deal with this anymore because I have a wedding to plan and I'm not going to waste my energy on petty stuff like this. Caleb and I have had a discussion about this and in a couple of days. we are going to take down all the posts that we had put up in relation to this because now that everything's out in the open, it's not important to us anymore. My aunt has also told me that she's going to delete the account that she has created in a couple of days because this really isn't that important and all of us want the negativity out of our lives now. She told me that after this, even if my family tried to get back in touch with me, whether to fight or to apologize, I should just let it go and not speak to them, and it would be for the best. and I couldn't agree more.

Update three, hi, guys. So I'm getting married in a couple of weeks and I recently sent out the invitations to my wedding. Obviously, my parents and my sister did not receive one because after we had our falling out, they never bothered to reach out to me to try and make things right and honestly, even if they had tried. I don't think I would have been open to it because they had tried to spread some nasty rumors about me and the family to make me look like the bad guy and all that drama had happened. After that, pretty much everyone in the family had stopped speaking to my parents and Penelope and they reactivated their accounts a couple of days after everything had died down and even tried

to start the hate campaign against me, but nobody was falling for it anymore. Since that, things have mostly stayed quiet and I'm very glad about it because I've been very busy planning my wedding. To be honest, I hadn't even been thinking about my family for the past couple of months, and it only occurred to me that I haven't spoken to them for so long because the invitations were sent out recently, and I realized that I hadn't sent any to my parents or Penelope and it felt weird but there's nothing that I can do. Over the past couple of months, my aunt and I had become a lot closer and I decided to speak to her about how I was feeling and she told me that it was perfectly normal for me to feel like I was missing out on something because I actually was.

I was going to miss out on the experience of having my family beside me while I was getting married and it was perfectly fine for me to feel bad about it. But the only thing that I needed to remember was that my family had not exactly treated me well and that's why they were not going to be there at the wedding and it was quite effective for me to think of that way. So I wouldn't say that I don't care that my family is not going to be there on my wedding day. I do care but it's not like I can help this situation so the only thing that I can do is just deal with it. And regardless of that, I'm still going to have a lot of people by my side who actually care about me, like Caleb and my aunt and other family members. So I know that no matter what, it's going to be a success.

I hope you enjoy this story. I was frozen with surprise when my spouse's sibling unexpectedly revealed his hidden emotions toward me following his betrothed discovering her bridal gown. Apparently he was simply panicking about marriage. I feel rather shocked. Overwhelmed so I'll start with some background. I have been with my husband for five years, we've been married for two. Since early on in the relationship, I've been great friends with his older brother,

partially because I always wanted one. When he started dating a girl about two years ago, I went out of my way to make sure she knew she had a friend in me if she wanted since were the only girls in the family. We're great friends now and since they got engaged three months ago, I've been helping with wedding planning and was asked to be a bridesmaid. We went dress shopping today and had a blast. We went to brunch, had some mimosas, found the dress, and went back to their house to celebrate. I ended up alone in the kitchen with my brother-in-law a bit after being there and he said he just had to tell me something. before it kept eating at him. I was a little buzzed and confused, but was not at all expecting him to say what he did.

I think I've had feelings for you for a few years, and I've never been able to tell you if you ever felt the same I completely froze and just shook my head. I told him that no. I have never thought about him in any way other than a friend than a brother, and I never would. Before he said anything else I bolted back to his fiancé and the other girls there and very discreetly told her I got my period

and wasn't feeling well and would if someone come get me and then come by soon for more wedding planning. She thought nothing of it and I called my best friend to come get me. She dropped me off at home, my husband is working right now and there is no question that I'm going to tell him as soon as he gets home. But I just have no idea where to go from there. Do I tell his fiancé? Do I make him tell her?

Do I leave it? Do I have my husband talk to him? Has anyone ever had something like this happen or have any advice? Anything is appreciated. Update 1. January 4, 2025. Thanks to everyone who helped calm my panicked mind after my original post. I didn't want to tell me husband we need to talk while he was still at work and make him panic, so having some reassurance from here was really helpful. I also noticed a lot of people asking for

an update, so here is one that even I was shocked by as I lived it. It's not exactly the earth-shattering blow-up most people thought it would be. My husband came home and he immediately knew I had something on my mind. I explained the whole thing and he was livid at his brother. Thankfully, he gave me a hug and I broke down crying from the stress. He assured me I did everything right and it wasn't my fault. After that, he went to call his brother and tell him that he knew what happened and wanted to talk to him one-on-one. Well, it turns out that his brother and fiancé were already on their way to our house to talk about it. As soon as the other girls left, not long after me, my bill confessed everything to her. First she slapped him, deserved. But after they talked and he promised her

that his feelings for her were genuine, she said that he needed to apologize to me and his brother and then they could go from there. So they came over and he and my husband went and talked, while I talked with his fiancé. We both cried and talked for about an hour. I promised her I never had any feelings for him and had no idea he ever had any for me. Apparently she had caught him gazing at me on a family vacation once and thought maybe he had some attraction to me. So while this sucked, she felt some relief that she wasn't crazy for thinking it. He admitted she was right and thinks his feelings at one point were out of jealousy that his younger brother was further in life than him, and he attributed that to me in a way. This was new to him as the older brother and they really

hadn't compared each other much growing up just because they had vastly different paths. It was little apples to oranges. But now there was some perceived competition on a similar playing field. The feelings had faded but when she came home saying she found a dress he felt an urge to come clean and he wished he had said it differently or worked through it with some help before to actually understand what the feelings were before making this whole mess. I don't know about all that, but I guess I could understand it with a more clear head. I mean if the Oedipus complex can be a thing then I can see him having some complex feelings that manifested his attraction, but didn't affect his love for his fiancée. This all happened in one night and he was visibly distressed over it, so I'd find it hard to believe. he could weave a whole story like that, so I'm inclined to believe him. Once my husband and his brother came back to the living room, my bill looked like a puppy who just got in trouble. Also looked a little roughed up, but I didn't question it. We all talked, and he apologized to me for

putting me in this position. Where it landed, their wedding is on hold privately while they figure out next steps. Thankfully, there was nothing booked and no dates sent out. We had gone wedding dress shopping just to get an idea and it was just luck that she fell in love with a dress. They are going to go to couples therapy to decide if and how they can move past this. There is clear love between the two. Things will be tense, but I think he feels genuine remorse and my potential sill says she holds no ill will against me and if they move forward, she'd still love to have me as a bridesmaid if I'm willing.

My husband and his brother have some serious work to do on their relationship and my friendship with my bill will never be the same again, but we'll see what happens from here. We've also agreed to keep this between the four of us. But they will be honest that they're doing some premarital counseling before setting dates or full on planning. I saw a lot of comments telling me to keep my mouth shut and no harm was done. Well, I guess I can see your point, I just couldn't imagine keeping something like this from my husband, especially if it came out later, and he found out I withheld it. Trust is huge in our partnership and even just a mission feels like a betrayal of that.

Sure I knew this could blow up if I let it out, but it would be my bill's fault, not mine. He had all control over telling me what he did. Thanks to everyone who helped me through that scary processing time alone. Update 2, January 5, 2025. I wanted to address a couple common responses I've been seeing here and give another next day update. to everyone telling me to not tell anyone, or give him a mulligan, that was never an option to me. My husband and I are a team and we don't keep secrets, only surprises. It's something we agreed on before getting married.

If I didn't tell him and it came out later, it's a good as me lying to his face. I did nothing wrong and I know my husband would stand by me, so that just wasn't an option I was willing to consider. To all the claims that I'd be blowing up multiple families, I'm not the way. one who confessed feelings. He opened this can of worms and it's not my responsibility to keep the secret. If this does blow up his relationship or his family, that's all on him. Not me. There were a lot of other common themes in here, but those two were very prevalent and I wanted to dispel them. So for this small update, my husband actually called his brother today and asked if

wanted to go to one of their favorite bars to watch the game together today, something pretty common for them or all four of us to do, before all this. My bill was shocked, but agreed. Shortly after, his fiancé called me and asked if she could come over while they were gone. She was honest and said it might be awkward, but we would do this a lot and either do some DIY together, get a puzzle out, or watch movies together. She wanted to see if I'd be open to keeping this up as long as we were both comfortable with it while they work their things out so our relationship doesn't deteriorate. It meant the world to me and I said, of course. All four of us agreed that they, Bill and Fiancee, would start seeing a couple's therapist ASAP,

and my Bill would see one on his own. Until they get a better grasp on what his feelings were Slash are in their own plan, we won't get all four of us together in Bill and I will not be alone together. My potential sill is one of the most level-headed people I've ever met. and so kind-hearted. My bill used to have a lot of walls up that she broke down pretty naturally and this is so out of character for him. His proposal to her was so well-planned and thoughtful and tailored to her down to the smallest detail. He picked her a new outfit, had the perfect ring, even the blanket at the setting was her favorite color, a detail he did intentionally, and he had even arranged to have her parents there who live hours away. It's clear that he loves her. And I truly don't

think that even if I did say yes, he would not leave her to be with me. Not that it would have been an option. I truly see a road forward for them and all of us. We're all committed to finding the best outcome for everyone involved. My marriage is solid, and we have our marriage maintenance couples therapy appointment coming up soon anyway, so we'll check in with an outside opinion but I'm not worried. They are going to a consult with a therapist at the same practice in just a couple days. It obviously won't be a quick and smooth fix, as this was fucked up, but I'm much more optimistic than many comments here and wanted to share. Update 3, January 26, 2025. Hi everyone.

I wanted to share a final update as I'm still getting notifications from them. For some context, I am, 27F, my husband is 28M, Bill is, 32M, and his fiancé is 29F. This started as a throwaway account, but now it's just an anonymous account, and this will likely be my last update regarding this story. Since this happened we have talked and my bill has explained some of his feelings as he has understood so far thanks to a lot of introspection and therapy. The silver lining to all of this is that he is spending some much needed time working through his feelings and coping mechanisms. He group texted me and my husband and asked if we could talk together. It was mostly to talk to me, but he didn't want there to be any gray area going forward. To sum it up, he very sincerely apologized to me for the position he put me in and to both of us for the betrayal of our relationships.

After a couple therapy sessions talking through his root feelings, he realized how terrified of change he was, even when it was good, and frankly his fear of a failed marriage. He was older and understood so much more of his parents divorced than my husband and he didn't realize how much that impacted him because he had pushed it down so deep. My husband and I had met before my bill met his fiancé and in the early days, he had an attraction to me. But he pushed these feelings away because obviously, I was with his brother. When he found his fiancé he truly fell in love with her, and we all knew it by the way he acted. I mean this guy is usually stubborn and stoic, but he just melted for her. He changed so many habits, for the better, for her sake and for his future. Nobody questioned if he loved her and he was so excited to propose, albeit he knew he was nervous for the life change.

When we went out dress shopping and came back, a little tipsy and excited, she just gushed to him about wedding details and ideas and he got overwhelmed. So he did a couple shots, not saying it was a good choice but it's the one he made, and when I came out, as a person he had come to for comfort or advice on more than one occasion, he just exploded and said what he said. He had so many thoughts running through his head and I can't say I'm that mad at him for what happened. When I got engaged, no matter how much I loved my husband and how great our marriage is now, I have to admit I had a few late-night musings about what life would be like married because it should not be taken lightly. He was so genuine in his apology and ashamed of his thoughts and actions, he was damn near in tears. When his brother hugged him, he lost it. I gave him a hug as well and he couldn't stop, thanking us for not just a little.

telling him to F off. His fiancé joined us after our talk and she said that while she's still struggling with trusting him and they aren't going to get married on the same timeline they were planning, she's not leaving him as long as he continues to work on his feelings and unpacks his emotions around marriage. They go to couples therapy and both go individually as well and I think we all see a road forward, knowing it will not be easy. In my past posts, there were so many people who thought my bill was making it up to get out of it, and he would have a thrown away his relationship for me. Call me crazy or naive, but I don't see it that way and nobody else involved us either. We addressed the possibility and dismissed it. I appreciate the level of care people have shown

for me in my future sill, and we will continue to show care for her and my bill as they navigate this together. Next story, baby sat all my grandkids but refused to keep watching my stepdaughters I had a baby after her boyfriend called me unsafe, made me sign rules, and was super rude for months. I did a work program with the local clerk of court's office when I was in high school. They hired me when I graduated, and I had my 30 service years before I turned 50. With 30 service years you can get your full pension at any age. I worked until my first grandchild was born, then I retired to be grandma daycare. I have five grand's eight male for my stepson, seven male for my son, five female and 18-month

male for my daughter. I babysat all of them with no issues or complaints. I still keep the 18-month-old Monday to Friday and the older one's summer and school holidays. My stepdaughter and her boyfriend has been non-stop drama since before the baby was born. When she was 10 weeks pregnant, they presented a three-page list of rules for when I was babysitting. They said if I didn't sign it, they wouldn't allow me to babysit. I said that I understood their need to do what was best for their baby and I assured them that there would be no hurt feelings on my end when they made other child care arrangements.

Some of the rules were almost understandable, but most were downright ridiculous, and none of it was going to work for me. I don't remember them all but some examples are, I can't take the baby anywhere without their permission. I can't watch more than one additional child while babysitting. I can't cook. I had to provide the full name, daub, and address of any potential visitors ahead of time for their approval of the person being around their child.

They have to know any time I have a guest over and know who it is and how long they stay. My nine-year-old cat would have to be kept out of rooms where the baby would be, even when the baby wasn't there. I couldn't get another pet without their agreement. When she was seven months along they came back with revised rules in an attempt to compromise. I again let them know that their expectations were not going to fit with my life and they should just find other child care. Two days after my stepdaughter went back to work, she called and asked if I could keep calling the next day. I agreed but made it clear that I was going to provide safe. Appropriate care according to my judgment and I wasn't going to deal with complaints or whatever that I was violating

because I wanted it very clear that I was not agreeing to any of that. My stepdaughter was okay on the days she picked Cullen up and dropped him off. I felt like she was interrogating me every time she picked him up, but it was tolerable, but her boyfriend was dead. downright rude. I got to the point where I actually spent Sunday dreading the start of the week because of dealing with both of them but especially his behavior. At minimum he'd pick up Cullen, make a big deal of partially undress him, make at least one snide comment about my cat or if I had any grandchild over besides the 18-month old or if I had cooked or whatever. Then he'd say, I guess we don't have any choice but to put up with this for now. Or I guess you're happy that you

This went on for four months. I spoke to my stepdaughter several times about it and told her that obviously they are very unhappy with how I cared for Cullen and that they should really work on finding something else and that in the meantime he needed to be less vocal about it. It would get better for a day or two and then he'd start again. It all came to a head as Thanksgiving was approaching. He was very verbal about the fact that he didn't want me to keep all my grandchildren over the break. I made it very clear that there would be a couple of days that I had all of them and that they needed to make other arrangements if they had a problem. They didn't make other arrangements and when he picked Cullen up on the first day that I had all my grands, he was very

rude and although nothing happened, everyone was happy, clean, fed, had a great day he said, to Cullen, that he was sorry that they had no choice except to leave him in an unsafe situation to be neglected. I called my stepdaughter that night, relayed to her what was said and told her that she had two weeks to make other arrangements and that she needed to drop off and pick up Cullen during those two weeks and if her boyfriend came to drop him off I would refuse to keep him and if he picked him up I would not keep him again. So things were better only dealing with her. At some point she asked me if I would keep him until January because they found someone but he couldn't start until then. I agreed. She picked Cullen up and dropped him off everything was

fine. New Year's Day several people sent me a screenshot of a post her boyfriend made on social media about how thankful he was that they were finally able to leave Cullen without worrying about his safety or him being neglected. He didn't outright name me or accuse me of anything specific but anyone who knows us knows I was keeping him in the post implied plenty. I was just happy that it was over. Friday she called me and said that their new child care provider had told her that Cullen wasn't a good fit and that she couldn't bring him back Monday. She asked if I would start keeping him again. I told her that I was sorry for their situation, but I really don't feel comfortable keeping him.

My husband and stepson both think I should watch Cullen under the agreement that Amanda drop him off and pick him up because they think her boyfriend is the big problem and that I should just do it for Cullen's sake. My stepson also commented that I'd probably be more willing to let it go if it had been a conflict with my daughter's husband. My pension is about $4,000 per month plus continuation of my health insurance. That's about 40% of our take-home income if that matters. Ida for refusing to start watching Cullen again? Update, January 7, 2025. First let me just address the common suggestion that Amanda's boyfriend is purposely sabotaging their child care to trap her at home. They make roughly the same amount of money and definitely can't afford to lose half their income.

I seriously doubt he wants her to stay home. Second, I would never tell my stepson to find someone else to watch his child because of a simple difference of opinion. My grandson and I have a very close bond. He's the oldest and it would break my heart in his if he didn't come spend his holidays and summers with me. Plus he's a huge help with the little ones when I have them all and things get hectic. I would never be so petty as to make him and all my other grandchildren suffer because of an adult disagreement. So I sort of asked around about why they were dropped by their new sitter so quickly. Apparently they weren't.

Amanda picked Cullen up and dropped him off both days he went and everything was lovely. He did cry quite a bit, but they expected that to get better as he adjusted to not being held as much. My husband and stepson talked to Amanda and she said that they realized that they can't afford daycare. They already made the easy changes, packing a lunch, giving up fancy coffee, etc., and his dad and her mom are both giving them about $100 per month towards child care and they can barely afford it. But they didn't realize that you have to send everything the baby needs. I buy diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, extra clothes, etc. They just hand me the baby. They didn't realize that daycare didn't cover all that. Also, imagine her boyfriend's surprise when he found out what the staffing

rates are in this very expensive daycare. One adult cares for five inches. I guess he thought that someone would provide one-on-one care, diapers, wipes and formula for $350 per week. My stepson relayed their almost apology. They felt overwhelmed by an infant and couldn't imagine that someone else could manage that plus other things. Cullen is going back to daycare tomorrow. Cullen's dad is selling his dirt bike and Amanda is selling some designer clothes, handbags and shoes to cover the cost. It'll get easier for them in six months when he transfers to the one-year-old class, which is a little cheaper. I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling's partner continued to borrow our valuable items without returning them and eventually convinced Sibling to fund her vacation

to Cuba, which cost $1,200. During the trip, she consistently ignored Sibling, even when he attempted to engage with her. Sick. I read it, I'm a 21-year-old woman, and this post is about my brother's girlfriend, Lara, not her real name. She's 18, and they've been together for about eight months. At first, I really liked Laura. She seemed down to earth, especially compared to his previous girlfriends, who were kind of odd. Lara comes from a family with less money than ours. We're not rich, but we're comfortable. Lately, I've started feeling like she might be using us. A few weeks ago, my brother took her on a trip to Cuba and paid for everything because she didn't have the money.

She still owes him $800 and hasn't paid him back yet. She also borrowed my mom's suitcase for the trip and still hasn't returned it or even unpacked her things. Before the trip, she told me she wasn't sure she wanted to stay with him because she felt like she hadn't experienced her young adult life fully, like going out to clubs and partying. During the trip, my brother told me that guys were constantly giving her attention, and she seemed to enjoy it. He mentioned that she was distant with him at times, but at the same time, they were still taking pictures kissing and acting like a couple. It's confusing because I know she wants to break up with him, but she isn't doing anything about it, and instead, she's being rude to him. What's also been bothering me is how she's acted about money and things. When we first met, I was cleaning out my closet, and she offered to help.

I thought it was just her being kind, but now I feel like she just wanted me to give her clothes. I ended up giving her some really expensive dresses, like $300 each, which I don't wear anymore because they don't fit me, but now I regret it. She's also taken a bunch of expensive things from my mom after my mom and stepdad broke up, like her old bed and kitchen appliances. I do her lash lefts and I paid for the supplies, but she never paid me back like she promised. She lives an hour away, and after the Cuba trip, she asked me to come to her house to do her lashes again.

I refused because I didn't want to waste more money on gas, especially when she hasn't paid me for the supplies. Recently, she's been getting more and more rude. She texted me out of the blues saying, so I need a costume, are you going to give me one or do I need to get it myself? I was taken aback. Why should I be responsible for her costume? When I asked if she had any idea what she wanted to be, she just said, ick. She was also mad at me for doing the Halloween decorations without her because she wanted to help, but I did it on a Saturday night around 9 p.m., so I didn't think it was relevant for her to come over and help. She wants to go

clubbing for Halloween, but honestly, I'm not in the mood to party, and I have a lot of homework. My brother wants me to go so we can hang out with some friends, but now he wants to go to the club to check on her and see if she's going to cheat because he thinks she might have already cheated on him. I also forgot to add that during their vacation, a few things happened that made me feel uneasy about her. For example, she spent an hour on the phone with her mom, causing them to miss a reservation my brother had made. While they were there, they made some friends, and she always wanted to hang out with them instead of spending time alone with my brother. When they got back, my brother caught the flu, and I was shocked by how she treated him. He was really sick,

throwing up and having stomach issues, and she seemed annoyed by it. Even when he was struggling in the bathroom, she just sat there on her phone, completely ignoring him. On the flight home, he was so sick that he threw up on a lady while rushing to the bathroom, and she didn't even try to comfort him or help clean up. Now, I don't know what to do. I feel like she's using us, but it doesn't completely feel like her. I'm also conflicted because she told me things in private, and I'm unsure if I should tell my brother, even though he kind of already knows and has a gut feeling.

So, IDA for wanting him to break up with her? Additional information from OOP, I think there might be some misunderstandings here, so let me clarify. My brother paid for the Cuba trip up front because it cost $1,200 per person, and she didn't have the money at the time. She agreed to pay him back her share, and that's why she still owes him $800.

He covered the full amount initially, but it wasn't meant to be a gift. It was more like a loan that she hasn't fully repaid yet. Regarding the clothes and furniture, I didn't mind giving her old clothes that didn't fit me, and my mom didn't need the furniture, so at the time, it seemed like helping her out. I started feeling like she's taking advantage because she also borrowed my mom's suitcase and hasn't returned it yet, and there are other things adding up, like unpaid lash supplies and some insensitive comments. About the flight, I didn't expect her to literally clean up his vomit, but showing a bit of concern or care for someone you're in a relationship with, especially

when they're really sick, seems reasonable to me. He wasn't sick before the flight, he got sick after brushing his teeth with the water in Cuba, and it hit him unexpectedly on the plane. I totally get that she's 18 and trying to figure out her life, and she doesn't have to have to decide if she's going to be with him forever right now. But if she's already uncertain about wanting to stay with him and doesn't seem interested in spending much quality time together on what was supposed to be a couple's trip. She's not a bad person, I just want my brother to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with him and cares about him. He's my little brother, and I think part of the reason I'm so protective is because of what he went through in the past. When my mom was with

my stepdad, he was psychologically abusive to my brother, calling him names and poor. He was. putting him down. At the time, I wasn't living with them, and I feel guilty for not being there to protect him. My mom didn't really know about it, and she was also being abused herself, so it wasn't an easy situation for anyone. Because of all this, my brother is very sensitive now, and I can't help but want to look out for him. I know he needs to make his own decisions, but it's hard not to feel like I need to be there for him more, given what he's been through. I realize that I can't control his choices, but that guilt makes me want to step in more than I probably should. I just want to make sure he is with someone who cares for him and treats him well.

Comments where Op has replied, Boop on her brother's age and how the budget came out for him to pay for everything. Boop, my brother is 19 years old. I didn't leave that out on purpose, it just slipped my mind while writing. He decided to pay for everything up front for their Cuba trip because she didn't have the money the time. He paid for the entire trip up front, which cost $1,200 per person. She was supposed to pay him back her share, but she still owes him $800 out of that amount. Boop on her brother being sick when flying back home. Boop, he didn't know he was sick before the flight. He got sick after brushing his teeth with the water in Cuba, which caused him to fall ill on the plane ride home.

It all hit him suddenly while he was in the air, and he didn't have any warning beforehand. It was an unfortunate situation for him and everyone else involved. Number one, she does sound like she's using you, though it might have started out as genuine. Pointing out to your brother might backfire. Maybe casually mention how surprised you were that she didn't help him when I'll, or that he should remind her about the suitcase because it's not good manners to keep something that long. N-T-A-O-O-P, I know she's really kind and a nice person in general, and I don't think she started out wanting to use us.

I was genuinely happy to help her in the beginning. But lately, she just seems off, and it feels like she's not interested in being with him anymore. I don't want to assume the worst about her or think badly of her, but these situations are making me question things. Comment her too, tell her to return the suitcase and stop doing her any favors. Your brother doesn't trust her, he should break up. Update, October 26th.

24. Hey guys, I wanted to do a little update and also share more about the past so you can understand where I'm coming from. First, thank you for all your comments. You guys think I'm not the asshole, which is reassuring, but I still kind of feel like one. I'm trying to respond to everyone, but there were a lot of questions about my brother's age. He's 19, not 21, and he's definitely not a predator, don't worry. Part of why I'm so invested in this situation, is because I can relate to his girlfriend. When I was 18, the legal drinking age here allowed me to experience a phase of partying and living my life to the fullest. Back then, I was in a three-year relationship, and we went through the pandemic together. I wasn't feeling the relationship anymore,

so I broke up with him and lived my life. I just want to say that it wasn't an easy decision. We actually got back together after a year and a half of being single, which is kind of crazy, felt like a fresh start. The point is, when I saw her and how she acted, I saw a bit of myself in her. I brought up my own experiences to her because I knew how lonely it could feel when you're unsure about what you want, and no one around you seems to understand. I thought it might help her feel like she could trust me, but now I feel stuck in the middle and I don't know if I regret what I did. This week, my brother confronted her about the way she responded to me through text, telling her it hurt him and that he didn't accept her talking to his family like that.

She got upset and felt like we were all ganging up on her, so she decided not to stay the night and went back to her house. My brother was mad and called me. He was telling me that he wanted to break up, but since she owned him money and he wanted his money back. That's when I told him what she had confessed to me, and I felt awful because I had promised her I wouldn't say anything. I initiated that conversation,

so I felt like the fallout was all my fault. fault. But this morning, my brother called me before work and said she texted him, asking for a break. He was furious and told me he planned to get all his things from her place and end it. She's going out to a big city with her sister next weekend and he thinks she wants to use that time to meet other guys, and he made it clear that if that's what she wants, he's done. She said that wasn't her intention and that she just needed some time, but he wasn't buying it. I feel even worse because I can't help but think that if I hadn't shared my experience with her, maybe this wouldn't be happening. But then again, I keep telling myself it would have come up eventually.

Some of you are asking why I'm so invested, and here's some background. My brother is a kind and gentle person, but the problem is that people often see his kindness as a weakness, just like my stepdad did, and they take advantage of it. My stepdad was psychologically abusive toward my brother, constantly calling him names and mistreating him. I didn't include this in my original post because it's something that still hurts me deeply. At the time, I wasn't living with them because I chose to stay with my dad to avoid dealing with my stepdad's behavior. My stepdad couldn't manipulate me, and I didn't let him get under my skin. I was the only one who would stand up to him, and things got really heated after my mom

finally broke up with him. One night, things got so bad that my brother showed up at my dad's place with all his belongings because my stepdad had almost physically assaulted him. Thankfully, my brother got out before things escalated. My mom didn't fully know what was happening because she was also dealing with her own abuse from my stepdad. But that night, she realized it was enough and ended the relationship. Afterward, my brother moved in with me and my dad. Later, when my mom's old house and bought her current one, she and my brother moved in together. They're both doing better now, but they're still in therapy because they went through a lot. After he told me everything that happened, I felt so guilty for not being there to protect him.

It still feels like I failed in my role as a big sister and a daughter. Growing up, I always felt responsible for protecting my brother. When our parents got divorced, I tried to keep him occupied whenever they were fighting so he wouldn't hear the arguments. I heard everything, but I wanted to make the divorce as smooth as possible for him. That experience left me feeling like it was my responsibility to shield him from anything painful or traumatic. It might seem like I'm too involved, but with his previous girlfriend, I was hesitant and distant, and I know that hurt him. So, this time, I made more of an effort to be present and not let my doubts keep me from trying to support his relationship.

I didn't want to come off as harsh or unwelcoming to someone he cares about. But now, I feel stuck in between. I haven't talked to her since their fight. I don't want her to think I'm mad at her, but I also don't want to upset my brother if he finds out I'm still in touch with her. I'm not sure if she even wants to talk to me anymore. It feels like she was trying to distance herself, and maybe I just didn't catch on to that.

I'm mad at myself because I finally tried to be present and supportive, but I feel like I ended up making things worse. I don't know what to do now. My brother's reaction to all of this has been to focus on himself. He's mad and wants to move on and just focus on getting back in shape and living his life. I don't know how to feel about his reaction. It seems like he's trying to brush it off, but I know it's hard on his ego, and he's hurting. I don't know if it's the update that you guys wanted, but it's all I know for now.

This story, caught my husband having sex with his ex-wife during our adopted son's B-day party. When I finally asked for divorce, it turns out this wasn't his first time cheating with her. I'm honestly a mess and I don't know what to do, so any advice would be appreciated. I, 27F, and my husband, 37M, have been married for three years, dating for six. He has an ex-wife, 37F, which he divorced a year before we met. We have a son, 7M, who was adopted after we got married and who I love as my own child. because he is. I know my husband, Peter, fake name, is bisexual. I have no problem with it and I had no problem with his ex-wife, Allison, also fake name, I did have a problem with his family as they're a bit

homophobic and are always telling Peter he should get back together with Allison. Well, two weeks ago, we were at his family's town because it was my son, Jack's, fake name, birthday and we wanted to spend it his family. My mother-in-law decided it would be a good idea to invite Allison so she arrived in the middle of the party. I didn't want to ruin Jack's birthday so I stayed quiet. I spent all my time with Jack, playing with him and his cousins at his request. When it was time to cut the cake, I noticed Allison and Peter weren't there, so I went inside and looked for them around the house. I found them in Peter's old bedroom taking their clothes off. I stood there in shock for a moment, but then I left and went back to celebrating Jack's birthday.

Part of me wanted to scream and cry, but I also was in shock and I refused to make Jack's birthday about me. We cut the cake and opened the presents. People were already leaving when Allison and Peter came back. Peter took me aside and started saying that I shouldn't have cut the cake without him present and it was disrespectful. I stared at him and just said, I'm sorry, I just thought you'd be too busy getting into your ex-wife's pants. He got quiet so I took Jack and left the house to go back to the hotel. Once I put Jack in bed and made sure he was asleep, I locked myself in the bathroom and broke down.

I called a friend and he tried his best to console me. I only calmed down in the morning when I took Jack for breakfast because I didn't want him to see me like that. I'm now watching him play in the park and I don't want him to suffer. I don't want him to have a broken family. I don't want him to know that relationships aren't a happy ever after. Peter has been calling and texting, apologizing for everything and I'm tempted to forgive him. I'm tempted to just have my family back, and all my friends are saying that it wa just a mistake,

that he was vulnerable and Allison is his ex-wife. So what am I supposed to do now? I need the advice from people who don't know my husband or me personally. Please, any advice is helpful. Comments where OP has replied. Commenter 1. Teach your son that his future partners has to respect him and their relationship by not being a cheating bastard. Goop. I do want to teach him this stuff, but he's too young and I'm just scared that he'll get a bad view of relationships if he sees his parents' divorce. O-O-O-P on collecting evidence on his husband's cheating and if the husband has done this before.

Boop. I'm not able to gather from the messages and calls. It has happened twice, including the time that I caught them. I hadn't thought about STIs, so thank you, I'll get you. tested. OOP responds to multiple comments about his husband not respecting him and the cheating wasn't the first time. OOP, it's not, I found out it's the second time, but I don't want my son to know what happened. He's unaware and happy thinking his dads will be together forever. I don't want to break that illusion. Why didn't OOP interrupt his husband's cheating with the X?

OOP, I was really too shocked and hurt by what I saw that I just stood there without them noticing me, I them heard my son and unconsciously focused on him and only him. A copying mechanism maybe? I don't know, I was mostly an autopilot. Update 1, September 14th, 2024. Well, first of all, I want to thank you all for your advice and I want to explain some things before the actual update. But thank you for opening my eyes about my situation. 1. Peter and Allison didn't notice me when I saw them. There was music very loud downstairs and they

weren't facing the door. Two, I didn't stop them because I was in shock. I just stood there for a moment and I heard my son so I unconsciously focused on him. I was pretty much an autopilot. Three, Peter didn't come to the hotel with me because I changed to a different one. He did try to follow me but I took a taxi and left. As far as I know, he's staying with his parents and Allison left. Four. We met when I was 20 and he was 30, we started as friends, and we ended updating. Yes, we're both men and no, I didn't feel manipulated or groomed by him. Those were the most asked things and I did answer some comments, not all. Now on to the update. I did as some of you said and took some tests to discard any STIs or STDs.

The results are coming back in a few days, and I will take another one in three weeks to be sure. My son is having a sleepover with a friend, and I decided to speak with my husband. He came by our house after a few minutes I texted him. He asked about Jack and I told him where he was. Then we sat on the couch and started talking. I started crying after a few minutes,

and he followed after. I asked some simple questions when? Why? How many times? Among others, and this is what I could figure out by all the things he said. It happened for the first time when he visited his parents alone two years ago. They invited her, they both got drunk, he was feeling lonely as I had been more attention to Jack since we adopted him, and they slept together. Nothing happened again until our son's birthday party, he said his mother pressured him a bit

and he caved in. I don't believe he did it for that reason, but I don't know. He said he doesn't love her and I believe him, but it doesn't negate the fact of what he did. After talking for a while, I told him that I wanted a divorce. He started sobbing and begging for another chance, but I told him that I can't give him another chance because I wouldn't be able to trust him again and I don't want that in a relationship. He kept crying and begging for another 30 minutes until I told him that we have to think about Jack in his well-being, that we could stay friends DS and co-parent him. He got mad, really mad. He started yelling that it was all Jack's fault, that we shouldn't have adopted him, that he's the one who's getting between us. I was crying and really scared,

I had never seen him this angry. He hit the table and stormed out of the house. I called the house where Jack is staying at and told them if Peter shows up there, they can't open the door. After the little episode, I was scared that Peter would try to hurt Jack. I called my friend again, Thomas, and told him everything that happened. He came by and is staying with me until I'm better. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what to do and how to go on with the divorce. Update 2, September 25, 2024. Hi again.

Sorry for taking so long to update, but it's been a chaotic week and I'm pretty shaken up, but I'll try to summarize it. My husband has been showing up at my work, following me, and calling me from burner phones. I was afraid he'd go after Jack like many of you said he would, but he didn't. He said a lot of stuff, but I'll try to write the important things. He said that he missed when we were just us,

that I stopped paying attention to him when we adopted that Jack, that I wasn't his anymore. He said that he missed how dependent I was on him. I was very insecure when we met, But I started working on my issues when we adopted Jack because I didn't want to be a bad example for him. When we got married, I used to get sick all the time, I was weak and tired, so he would take care of me 24 to 7.

The doctors couldn't tell what was wrong with me and I didn't get better until a bit after we adopted Jack. I guess that dependence it's what he missed. Yesterday, he followed me to work and started screaming that I was his and that we made vows to stay together. We had to call security and he waited for me next to my car. I panicked and took a taxi home. He keeps messaging me and showing up to our house.

I took a few weeks off work to be with Jack, although he's taking this better than me. I made an appointment with a therapist for him and when the divorce is finalized, I'll go to one myself. I've been debating what to do, so I'll update when something happens. I hope you enjoy this story. Entitled Sibling becomes furious when I decline. extravagant $8,000 bridal gown, gives me the silent treatment for months until discovering

I arranged a secretive European getaway, then pleads for my presence. Hello everyone. Prior to this. I say anything else, I want to mention a couple of things about my sister. My sister and I have an age gap of 11 years. I'm 36 right now and she turned 25 this year. She was not really a planned baby. I guess most people would have guessed that. My parents had me when they were just 20 so I wasn't exactly planned either and then 11 years later, they had my sister. Because she was so young, the youngest in our family, she was spoiled rotten as a child. I was never jealous of her because I'm a lot older and in fact, I used to spoil her myself too. My parents are both dentists and so am I, of my own accord because I found it interesting.

I was the one who supported my sister when she said that she wanted to be an actress and persuaded my parents to let her enroll in film school where she could learn. My parents believed that it was an unstable career choice and depended heavily on luck for her to be able to make it, but I had faith in her and promised them that I'd take care of her if she didn't succeed as an actress. And that wasn't the first time I managed to persuade my parents to let her do something they didn't want her to do.

When she was a teenager, I'd help her convince our parents to let her attend parties or stay out late and stuff and even go on trips or concerts that were far away from her friends. I was the reason she was able to get away with a lot of things she did as a kid because I always had her back. I'd even take the fall for her if she screwed up occasionally because that's how much I loved my little sister. But that has all backfired because thanks to all the love and affection that she's received over the years, she's turned into a total brat. She's rude, self-centered, and disrespectful to anyone who doesn't agree with her. We ignored that hoping that she'd grow out of it eventually but she didn't.

Even with that nasty attitude, she somehow managed to get a guy to ask her to marry her. Her boyfriend of two years, now husband, proposed to her almost eight months ago and last week she got married. I was not invited to the wedding because of a very petty reason. The entire family was very excited about her wedding, but I think I was the most excited and the first person she called after the proposal was me. The first couple of weeks were great and I was visiting her almost every weekend to plan the wedding. We already knew it was going to be a grand and extravagant affair because that's my sister's personal style. She was still a struggling actress and couldn't afford to pay for it herself so my parents were covering her expenses. Her boyfriend's

family was relatively well off as well so they were also contributing and since her husband's an engineer with a stable job, my sister didn't need to worry too much about the money. I'd offered to pay for her wedding dress because I'd hoped that she'd pick something reasonable. Besides, I had a friend who had a bridal boutique of her own and she'd agreed to give us discounted rates for whatever we bought from her. I'd told my sister about this and she'd agreed to it but after some time, she told me that she wanted to buy a designer wedding gown and it was going to cost me $8,000. I wouldn't have been against it usually but I'd already been planning to sponsor my sister's

honeymoon so I wasn't willing to drop so much money on the dress. She'd always talked about wanting to do a complete Europe tour so I'd been planning to surprise her with exactly that after the wedding as her gift. Now that was certainly going to cost a lot more than the dress and since I was spending so much on the gift already, I didn't want to spend another $8,000 on the wedding dress because it just seemed very unnecessary. It's not like she'd wear the dress more than once

but the honeymoon would be a memory she'd cherish for a lifetime and with that in mind, I'd told my sister that I couldn't possibly drop that sort of money on just a wedding gown. Especially when my friend had agreed to let us shop or even get a custom-made dress from her at a much more reasonable price so she could get something exactly like the one she'd picked out but from my friend instead. But she insisted that she wanted the designer label and nothing else so we had a disagreement over it and I had to put my foot down.

She was sulking when I said no and didn't even say goodbye to me when I went back home that day after our disagreement. I thought that she'd change her mind and call me up later, but that didn't happen. I didn't want to tell her about the honeymoon because I wanted to surprise her but after she didn't speak to me for almost a week, I had half a mind to call her and just tell her why exactly I wasn't willing to spend so much money on just her wedding dress. I didn't want her to get upset because I knew she was already very stressed out about the wedding. I was about to call her after the six day because that was the longest we'd gone without speaking to each other, but she ended up

calling me first. I'd thought that she'd called to apologize for her behavior since she was being kind of petty and childish over a wedding dress, but I was wrong. She started the call asking me why I was being such a miser because she knew that I had a lot of money and could afford to buy her that dress. Before I could even answer her, she went on to say, oh, it's not like you have a husband or kids of your own so what you need that money for and I still remember that, word for word. It was a really low blow which I hadn't expected because I thought that at least she, being my sister, wouldn't say crap like that to me knowing how sensitive I was about it. I don't like it when people say things like that to me because this is a choice that I've

made. I never wanted a family and so I've remained single by choice and hadn't had kids by choice, but so many people have had so much to say about my choices that it's become somewhat of a sore spot for me. My sister knew that and despite that, she was picking on me to trigger me and so I ended up getting very offended. She usually reserves this side of hers for people she doesn't like and had never acted that way with me before, but I'd also never said no to her for something before. I hadn't seen this coming so I was caught off guard by this sudden change in her attitude, all because I'd said no to a ridiculously pricey wedding gown. I told her that she couldn't speak to me like that, especially when I was the one paying for

her dress and she hit back saying that she was apparently giving me the opportunity to fill my empty life with something by letting me buy her stuff for the wedding. Then she went on to call me jealous because she was getting married and I was pushing 40 but still single. I hung up after that because it was just way too disrespectful for me to take and didn't speak to her for the next couple of days. I was very upset and had even cried over this fight because the things she'd said were mean and I couldn't believe that the sister I'd done so much for was now saying these things to hurt me over a dress. We didn't speak after that, but I did hear from our parents who reassured me that it would all be fine but didn't want to interfere. They told me that she was mad at me,

but they believed that she'd come around and I guess so did I. I started giving up hope after around two months of not talking to her and after a while when I heard that all our other relatives had received their wedding invitations, but I hadn't. It hit me that she had no intention of inviting me anymore because of our fight. I took that really badly because it felt like crap that had always gone above and beyond for her, just to make her happy but I was being treated like this now. In fact, even for the wedding, I was willing to go all out and sponsor the honeymoon of her dreams, which is why I wanted her to give up on the wedding dress idea. After I realized that she hadn't invited me to the wedding, I was upset for a long time, but eventually,

I got over it because I could finally see my sister for what she really was. She was a complete narcissistic brat and would never be able to care for or love someone unless there was something in it for her. With that in mind, I blocked her from all my socials and haven't spoken to her for ages. But I had kept in touch with my parents and a couple of months ago, we went out for dinner where I had a little too much champagne and I ended up telling them the real reason I didn't agree to buy my sister the dress she wanted and how I'd intended to gift her with a Europe trip for her and her husband. After I sobered up a little, I made my parents promise that they wouldn't breathe a word of what

I'd told them to my sister, but they broke that promise. My sister's wedding day was about a week ago and on the morning of the day she was supposed to get married, she showed up at my door at around six. I was totally unprepared and disoriented because I'd been woken up by the sound of the doorbell and she was the last person I'd been expecting to see. We hadn't spoken for several months, so I was naturally very shocked. I didn't open the door, but I could see her through the intercom. Instead of opening the door, I decided to call her to ask why she was there all of a sudden.

She answered my call and very politely and sweetly asked me to let her in, but I told her that I didn't want to see her. I knew it was humiliating for her to hear me say that, but I didn't care because, at my age, I'm not very good at taking disrespect no matter who it's coming from. She wasn't a teenager anymore and she knew her words could hurt, but she'd still said such things to me and I had neither forgotten nor forgiven any of that. Even on the phone, she didn't apologize to me for what she said instead. She told me that she wanted to invite me to the wedding to make amends. I was very confused and took some time to think why exactly she would be at my door

on the morning of her wedding after giving me the cold shoulder for months and decided to ask her if she'd talk to mom. She stupidly said yes and I knew that our mother must have told her about what the original gift I'd intended for her was supposed to be, which is why she was suddenly here to make. amends. To confirm if that was the case, I asked her very bluntly if mom had told her anything about the gift and after some hesitation, she admitted that she knew what I was about to surprise her with and so she'd felt awful about her behavior which is why she was here to invite me now. If she had just said no and said that she didn't know anything about the gift and was here because she'd realized her mistake, I probably would have let her in and reconciled with her

but she didn't have enough common sense to just lie her way out of this and told me the truth about how she was here only because of the gift I'd intended for her. Had she not found out about that from Mom, she wouldn't have been at my door to invite me to her wedding either. I was very upset and told her to go away because it was all just too little too late, but she had the audacity to say that I couldn't just chew her away like this because it was her wedding day and she'd personally shown up to invite me.

Even though this could mean that she'd end up being late to her own wedding. I was already pretty upset and when she said that, I got even more annoyed so I snapped and told her. her that I didn't ask her to come all the way here to invite me and it made no difference to me at this point if I was there at her wedding or not. She started bickering with me on the phone after that, insisting that it was a big deal that she'd come to invite me personally and that instead of being so arrogant, I needed to just suck it up and stop overreacting. I didn't even say anything and disconnected the call again because I didn't want to waste my morning arguing with her. After I hung

up on her, I heard her scream and call me the B word from outside the door and then kick it. I wanted to call the cops but didn't because it was six in the morning and I was still drowsy. I heard her drive away after that so I also went back to sleep and decided that I'd talk to my mother about this later. It was hard because I was still very upset but after half an hour, I managed to fall back asleep. At nine, when I finally woke up for real, I realized that my phone had been buzzing and that's what had woken me up. It was a number that I didn't recognize but I thought that it could have been someone from work, so I answered it and it turned out to be my sister's husband. They'd found the time and energy to curse me out right after their ceremony and had managed to get all

their friends to join in as well. The second I answered the call, her husband asked if it was me to confirm that it was me, and when I said yes, all of them started cursing at me and laughing. For ten whole seconds, I could barely even say or process anything because of how loudly they were all speaking and the absolutely filthy things they were calling me. Then I hung up and after after a few minutes, I called my mother to ask her what the heck was going on. She told me that she had told my sister about the gift of the honeymoon the evening before the wedding because she thought that it would make my sister realize that she was wrong and then she'd come to me and apologize for everything. That didn't go as planned and she said that

she was sorry for revealing that to my sister even after I'd told her not to. Then I asked her about the phone call I'd received just now and she told me that she had no idea about it because she and her friends were outside taking photos and she wasn't even standing near them so she didn't hear anything. She was appalled that they behaved with me like that, but I really wasn't. This is exactly the kind of pettiness and stupidity I could expect from someone like my sister, and for the next couple of hours, I sat in my room while silently seething and planning what to do. I was mad at my mother too, but I knew her heart was in the right place so I forgave her but my sister needed to be put in her place. I could call the cops but that wouldn't amount

anything and she'd just be let off with a slap on the wrist while I'd be the monster who ruined my sister's wedding day. Without any other plan in mind, I thought that I'd just do for myself what I was going to do for her. Not the revenge part but the Europe tour that I'd been planning to give her. So out of sheer anger and spite, I booked my tickets and even invited a friend of mine to accompany me who agreed readily since he was always up for an adventure. This wasn't entirely personal either because I'd been thinking about taking a vacation for a while now to spice up my life. I'd always played it safe when it came to big things like these and didn't ever do anything spontaneous just for the heck of it.

So this was a personal thing for me too and not just a way to make my sister feel bad about whatever had happened. Three days ago, my friend and I left and I'm currently in France. I've been posting all about our trip on social media and I knew that someone or the other would have told my sister at some point. We don't have a lot of common friends, but a lot of her friends do follow me online and I purposely didn't remove anyone from her circle so they could watch whatever I posted and then go running to tell her about it. And that's exactly what happened. Someone or the other must have told her and my mother called me up this morning to tell me that my sister was devastated and had been crying for hours after she saw me bragging about my Europe tour online.

She told me that she understood why I wanted to do this, but also called me out for being petty and said that I should have at least consider. the fact that I had more than a decade on her before taking things so far. My sister is apparently inconsolable and my parents, other relatives, and even a couple of my friends think that rubbing this in her face is wrong. I feel like a jerk right now. I'd offer rubbing my vacation in my sister's face after she went no contact with me because I refused to pay for the wedding dress she wanted to buy. Update 1. Hi, everyone.

Thank you so much for all the comments and the reassurance. It means a lot to me that so many people have such kind things to say about me. Some of you guys thought I was an idiot for wanting to do things from my sister and going overboard for her and I agree with that as well. I did way too much for her and ended up spoiling her more than she deserved to. I guess I had been a bit of a pushover because I thought that she, being my family, would never treat me the way she treated others but I was wrong about it. Evidently, I've also realized how unfairly my parents have been treating us both just because we have a single thing. significant age gap. Me being 11 years older doesn't mean my feelings matter less, so I don't understand why I'm being treated like that. When I was upset about her refusing to talk to me and

insulting me just because of the dress, my parents decided that they were going to take a step back and not meddle in our personal affairs but now. Just because my sister is the one who's upset, they're all involved in stuff. It seems really unfair to me and while I haven't confronted them about this yet, I think I'll bring this up if my mother calls me up again. It's been four days since our last phone call and she hasn't called me or tried to contact me yet, but I have a feeling that she will. Either she will or maybe my father might because even during the last phone call, my dad had been whispering things all along to my mother and I knew he had a lot to say but wasn't saying it because he didn't want to seem like he was involved in any of this drama. I didn't mention it in the last post because I didn't think it was relevant but given whatever's going on right now, I just feel like venting and letting it all out. I'm still on the trip and I put on a happy face when I'm out with my friends so I don't end up bumming him out but on the inside, I'm really pretty freaking upset about all of this.

Update 2, hi, Reddit. Today my mother finally called me after almost three weeks. Not to apologize, sadly, but to tell me that she and my dad had decided that it would be for the best if we did not meet for a while because that would upset my sister. So I guess we've made it clear that what makes me upset is very irrelevant. Not only that, she also told me that she and her father were sponsoring my sister's trip to Bali because she was very upset and now I don't have to worry about feeling bad for her anymore. I told my mother that I was glad that she was finally being a proactive maternal figure and taking an active interest in her daughter's social life, even if it meant meddling in her personal business. I said that I wished she'd extended the same love to me as well when I was feeling bad about my sister not speaking to me over a bloody dress and then hung up. My father texted me after that to tell me that the way I behaved with my mother wasn't acceptable and that I needed to do something about the way I'd been lashing out at my family because otherwise, they couldn't see a future where we continue to be on good terms. I texted back and told him to cry me a river and then blocked him.

I've decided not to let my family interrupt my holiday anymore because what's the point? It's not like fighting for their attention is going to make them like me anymore. And I'm almost 40, for God's sake, I can't deal with. with these high school shenanigans that my sister is pulling and my parents are just going along with it. Either way, I spent a considerable amount of money on this tour and now I want to enjoy it to the fullest. I hadn't told my friend about any of this happening so far because I didn't want him to feel like I was ruining this trip or bugging him with my problems but today, I talked to him. I told him everything and he reassured me that I was definitely not the problem here but my family

was. It was evident that they had a favorite child and it was obviously not me. me. So they could keep favoring their favorite daughter, but I needed to get the hell out of there. And it's something I needed to hear because for so long I'd been hoping against hope that somehow, my sister and my parents would come around. Now I know they won't and I'm okay with it. Update 3. Hey, guys. I'm back from my trip after almost six weeks of roaming the streets of European countries. I don't mean to sound preachy but this trip totally changed me and my perspective on life. I feel like a brand new person now, which is probably why I don't care that my parents have disinherited me. It's fine, I earn enough to survive on my own. Also, the friend that I

went on vacation with? We're together now. It happened a week ago, we were drinking wine and he confessed that he'd had a crush on me for ages. He and I have been friends for almost eight years now, so I was a little surprised, but truth be told, I'd always had feelings for him too, but never told him because I was afraid of ruining the friendship. But now, we're together and I'm as happy as can be. I'm glad I went on this holiday, honestly. Revenge, my sister, my parents, everything be damned. I needed this vacation for myself more than anything else. I hope you enjoy this story. Mother and sibling attempted to sever ties with the elderly woman following my father's demise, but she selected me to receive the family enterprise instead of them.

Presently, they are, furious and are begging me to help. Hi, so I am 17F and I'm currently living with my grandmother, 70F, because of a really bad situation that I'm in, with my mother, 47F, and sister, 19F. My father recently passed away after a long battle with osteosarcoma and six months ago, he succumbed to his disease. It wasn't anything unexpected, we had seen this coming and we were prepared for it. Nevertheless, it still hurts. You don't ever feel okay about losing a parent.

I don't think I ever will feel fine about it, but I'm dealing with it. The only consolation that I have is that he is in a better place now and is not suffering anymore like he had been for the past four years. My mother was really upset about it for the first couple of weeks, but this time, she is getting over it and I'm happy for her. This is the same case with my sister, but I think I'm the one who is taking it the hardest. He was my favorite person in the world and it still feels weird that he's not going to be around anymore. The past six months have been really upsetting for me in my personal life, but I have had to go on since I'm in my senior year of high school and I have also started applying to colleges and stuff, so things are pretty stressful for me right now and I don't have the time to sit and grieve.

I'll do it once I get into my choice, the one that my father had wanted me to go to. I'm working really hard for it, so I have my fingers crossed. Anyway, this is more about my grandmother, so I'll get to that now. For context, my father was very close to his mother, and I'm also pretty close to my grandma. However, that's not the case with my mom and my sister. My mother has never really gotten along well with my grandmother, for reasons that I don't know, and my sister is pretty much a second version of my mother. So she does not get along with my grandma either and doesn't seem to like her much.

I have kept in touch with my grandma, but after the funeral, my mother did not bother to check up on my grandma. It was just me who seemed to care about her. I had believed that the strategy would bring the family closer together, but that did not happen. My father's death pretty much gave my mother and my sister an excuse never to speak to my grandma again and they cut her out of their lives. I don't know why they did that or why they did not like her because as far as I was concerned, she had always been very nice to us and our family. She had always been nice to my mom and my sister as well, even though they never bothered to hide their disdain for her. Even when they would be visiting her house, they would act really weird and arrogant and make it awkward for everybody else as well.

My parents had thought about it many times, but after one point, my father had just given up because he knew that he could not change this. I know that there must have been some reason behind this behavior, but nobody ever told me anything about it, and I did not feel brave enough to ask my mother why she did not like my grandma, but my grandma, to me, is really nice and I love her. She's also a really inspirational woman and I am proud to be her granddaughter. Six months have passed since my father's death, and I have kept in touch with her, and I'm the only one who has since my mother doesn't speak to her. Neither does my sister.

And the rest of the family got really busy after a couple of weeks. Besides, she could not expect them to drop everything for her and be there for her emotionally all the time either, since they were not our immediate family. But we had been there for each other and I would visit her every weekend up until a couple of weeks ago, since that's when my finals started. They got over last week and coincidentally, my sister also came back home for college after her finals a couple of days after that. So since everybody was at home, my grandmother invited us all over to her place for a weekend stay and I was in, obviously. I tried to convince my mother and my sister to give it a chance, but what they said to me can I try to

convince them, that really put me off and I still haven't been able to get it out of my head because it was just so disgusting. I was trying to tell my mom that it would be fine and that we should try to spend some more time as a family since that's what my father would have wanted. And my mother got really annoyed and told me that if I wanted to have a relationship with my grandma, I was free to do so, but now that my father was gone, she had no incentive to still keep in touch with that old hag and was cutting her off on purpose. And my sister seemed to agree with that sentiment as well. I thought that it was really disrespectful and mean to say because my grandma had always been nice to the two of them and it was they who had gone out of their way to be rude to her,

in her own home. Regardless of that, she would still invite them to every event, over and over again. I don't think she was asking for much. It was just one weekend and they did not have much going on either. It wouldn't cost anything to give it a chance and just be nice, but that's what they had to say about it. So as usual, I went alone to visit my grandmother, and she seemed kind of upset by the fact that my mother and my sister had not bothered to show up, but I think she expected it. But something happened that I absolutely had not been expecting, and that was that she told me she had invited all three of us, and not just me because she had an important thing to tell us. So, she told me that now that my father was gone, she had to think of somebody to take over the company. My father had been working from home when things got too bad and he got too sick to go out, but for the last couple of months, we had no idea how things were going at the company because

we were so busy getting worried about my father's health. We barely had any time to worry about any of that. We had just assumed that he had somebody taking care of things and somebody was keeping it going when he was not around, and if not that, we knew that my grandmother would handle it so we did not worry about that. It's a family business and we mainly deal in electronics. We are retailers and not manufacturers. My great-grandfather started it and then, it has been continued by my grandfather and then my father. But my sister is still in college and I haven't even graduated from high school yet, so obviously neither of us could take over yet. The only person who was qualified to take over would be my

mother, she works in a bank right now, but I think she would have done a good job here as well. However, since she hadn't even bothered to show up for that weekend stay at my grandmother's, she had been disqualified anyway. And she wasn't even going to count my sister in since she was underage, and like I said, a miniature version of my mother. That just left me. But I was not even 18 yet and even then, I had a long way to go before I was ready to take over such a huge responsibility. But eventually, she told me that she was going to leave the company to me. For now, she was running it with my grand-uncle, my grandma's cousin. But even he was getting old and could not take the responsibility for long.

He was already in his mid-60s and had been planning to retire, but then my dad got diagnosed and he had to put everything off. The best he could do was a couple more years, but after that, he would be out. My grandmother desperately wanted to keep the business within the family. so she asked me if I would be willing to take on the opportunity. She told me that she knew I had been planning to go to business school anyway, since in the long run, I had been planning to take over the company after my father. I just hadn't expected him to go away so soon.

That had never been part of the plan, but yes, I did want to run the company. So she asked me if I would be up for the challenge and I didn't even have to think twice before I said yes. Then she told me that for the next couple of years, she would take care of of everything and would start grooming me to take over after I graduated. I won't even have to worry about my college tuition since my grandmother has promised me that she's going to take care of all of it. After I had accepted it, the first thing that she did was tell my granduncle that I was going to take over and he just had to wait it out for a couple more years. But once I was done with business school, I would be taking over. They would supervise

me for a couple of years, but once I had proved my medal, I would be on my own. And I had faith in myself, I know that I can do this. I'm very confident about it, so I did not feel the need to hesitate or think twice about this decision. Now, I think where things went wrong was when I decided to call my mother up and tell her about this. I did not actually intend to gloat. I just wanted to let them know that they had made a mistake by rejecting my grandma and her invitation. I wanted them to know that their arrogance was taking them down. When I told my mom about it, she refused to believe me at first, but then I told her that I was serious and then, she started yelling at me and said that I had no right to gloat like this and it was pretty petty of me to do so.

I tried to tell her I was not trying to gloat, I was just trying to tell her that if she had been kinder, then this golden opportunity would have come to her instead. Or maybe my sister, since she was also a finance major and would have had a job ready and waiting for her after she graduated. But now, that seems unlikely since my grandma has made up her mind and is pretty upset about the way that she was snubbed. When I had shown up alone at her house, my grandma had been pretty disappointed, and after we had our little discussion and I accepted her offer, she told me that now, she had no incentive to keep in touch with my mother either. She told me that for so many years, she had put up with her arrogant behavior, purely out of

love for my father. But after her son's death, my mother had not bothered to check up on her even once, not even as an obligation. That day was the limit and peak of her arrogance, so she did not feel the need to keep in touch or invite her over for anything ever again. And I could understand where she was coming from, I had seen the way that my mother and my sister behaved around her, and if I was in her place, I don't think I would have been able to keep my calm for that long. So I personally don't think that I did anything wrong by telling my mother that if she had been kinder, this opportunity could have been hers. But they had just cost themselves an opportunity. opportunity to rise because of their terrible arrogance and attitude problems. I was supposed to go back

two days after that, once the weekend was over, but it's been one week and I'm still here. And that's because the day after my phone call to my mother, she and my sister showed up at my grandmother's place with tears in their eyes, begging for forgiveness. I'm not even exaggerating right now, that's exactly how they showed up. We were both pretty surprised to see them here. Then my mother told my grandma that if she had known, that this is the reason why she had been inviting them, she wouldn't have rejected her and declined the invitation. I can tell you, that was really the wrong thing to say. She probably should have started off by apologizing for her behavior for the past couple of months and all her life since she has never behaved nicely with my grandma. But instead of apologizing, she made it very obvious to my grandmother that the only reason she was here was not because she was genuinely and truly sorry about to come.

her invitation and behaving badly with her, but just because of the position and the family business that she so badly wanted to be part of. It was disgustingly obvious what she was trying to do, and my grandma was not going to tolerate that BS, so she cut her off in the middle of her rant and told her that she could go home because she was genuinely just not interested in anything that my mother had to say. Since there was no apology, no explanation for her behavior, she had no interest in entertaining this kind of crap either. My grandma really let her have and told her that she was acting pathetic, and it was not surprising to her either, since this is exactly the kind of behavior that she had expected from her. She told her that she had put up with her

arrogant behavior for years on end, just because of her son, and had even tried to give her a chance at redemption by inviting her that weekend because she knew that my father would have wanted it. But my mother had proven to her that she was not worthy of a second chance, and so, she would go back home and cry in her house instead of wasting our time. And then, she shut the door on her face. I was really proud of my grandmother, and I thought that she did the right thing by standing up for herself. Throughout their conversation, I had been standing in the room, but I did not intervene, not even when my mother had the door slammed in her face. The reason that I did not intervene was very simple, I did not think that there was anything wrong that was going on, so I did not feel

the need to stand up for my mother. But after that, my mother and sister started blaming me for all of this and thinking that I should have stood up for them. We have been arguing about it back and forth for a couple of days now and I haven't been able to go back home, even though I need to bring a lot of things over from their place to mind since now I have decided that I'm going to continue living with my grandmother. But they think that I am being unfair and selfish and just keep fighting with me. They believe that now that I know that my future is sorted out, I'm going to abandon them and they think that I am showing my true colors now. It's so frustrating, I don't even know how to feel about any of this.

I'd for not going back home to my mother and sister after my grandma told me that I was going to inherit the family business? Update 1, Hi, according to you guys, I should have cut my mother and sister off. And not make that phone call in the first place. I kind of agree with you guys, that would have saved me a lot of trouble. But anyway, I can still do that now and I'm doing it. that. It's been really getting into my head. The way that they have been acting since they are the only family apart from my grandmother that I have left. So I was still trying to keep in touch

and make things right with them. But I don't think I can make it work because they are making sure that I feel guilty about things that I'm not even responsible for. I have blocked them so they cannot call me or text me anymore. I'm just done with both of them. They had the chance to fix everything, but they did not do so, neither with my grandmother nor with me. And that's fine, I think that now they should really just face the consequences of their own behavior and actions instead of trying to blame it on me. I know that I'm not the one at fault in this situation, no matter how hard they try to convince themselves, they can't convince me of it anymore. I'm out of that house and I'm sure that my father wouldn't have wanted this to happen either,

but it is what it is. Update 2. So, I blocked my mother and my sister a couple of days ago and just as I had expected, they really did not like that. I knew that they wouldn't approve of my behavior either, but I had to do it. They were really getting on my nerves. They just kept fighting with me, even when I was being nice to them. So how could I not block them? I didn't have any other option. Anyway, I think they found out that I blocked them yesterday, and there was a huge uproar from their end over this. They were very upset about it, and since they couldn't express that to me through calls or texts since they were blocked, they chose to make a post about it.

I don't know what they were hoping to achieve with that post, but it was really annoying because they are going overboard and painting themselves as the victims here when literally everybody knows that they are definitely not the victims. They even accused me of something that I couldn't even have imagined, even if I had wanted to do that to them. Because they did not have anything else to use against me, they had to just come up with a theory and run along with it, pretending that it was true. They posted the entire story of what had happened, and how they came about to be blocked,

but obviously, they painted me to be the villain and themselves to be the victim and put everything in such a way that people would consider me the bad guy. They accused me of keeping the purpose of my visit to my grandmother's secret on purpose so that they would decline the invitation and lose this golden opportunity. They said that apparently, I knew exactly why my grandmother had invited the three of us to her house, but I knew that they would not accept the invitation if I did not tell them why she had invited us. My mother did not have a good relationship with my grandma, and I used that to my advantage to hog this opportunity for myself and further ruin her relationship with her mother-in-law.

All of that is a blatant lie, and I think the people reading this know the truth. So far, I don't know what people are feeling about it because I haven't been able to read the comments on that post. I even know about that post because one of my relatives sent it to me and asked me what was going on. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I want to tell them to take it down, but for that, I will have to unblock them first. I haven't even talked to my grandma about it because she's already pretty upset after the passing of her son and I don't want to create more trouble for her. So I have been dealing with all of this on my own for now. I don't want to make her even more sad and disturbed than she already is with these petty fights.

Update 3. Hi, I spoke to a couple of my friends about this and they said that I should confront my mom and my sister, so that's what I did. I unblocked them and I asked them what was that post even for, since I was not even trying to fight with them, but they kept spreading lies about me, and it was really getting on my nerves. My sister did not reply to me, but my mother got back to me, saying that she had to do this because she knew that there was at least some truth in what he was saying, and people needed to know how I really was as a person since I constantly pretended to be nice and sweet, but in reality, that's not the truth and I am as far from sweet as can be. As I stole a fortune from them. I really lost my cool at that point because her behavior was completely unreasonable and I think

she was the one who had major issues, not me. I really am as sweet as I behave, but she just keeps pushing me and I'm not going to take that. So I told her, or rather yelled at her, and said that I had already lost a father, and I was not scared of losing another parent. I told her that she had screwed her life up with her bad attitude. She couldn't just blame it on me and pretend that that was the reality of the situation. She was the one who had always had issues with my grandma, and that's why she had rejected the invitation. I even jogged her memory and reminded her of the exact words that she had used, and told her that she was the one who had called my grandma an old hag, and had said that now that my father was gone.

She did not want to keep in touch with her anymore. So I don't think any of this was my fault. I really didn't know why my grandma had three of us for a weekend stay, but if I had known about the purpose of the visit, I would have told them about it. So they could have had a fair chance, but honestly, I really am glad that they didn't get that opportunity at all. Because they don't deserve it. They have no respect for the people in their lives and take everything for granted, so I think this should be a good lesson for them. Even while I was telling her all of this, she kept trying to interrupt me and fight with me, and that was agitating me

even more. So she kept saying things, and I kept yelling at her in return, and the situation only kept getting worse. And I think, at some point, I must have gotten loud enough for my grandma to hear. So she came into my room to check out what was going on, and when she saw me arguing on the phone with my mom, she decided to grab the phone and hang up, she told me not to waste my energy speaking to her and then left the room, which I think was a good call because I was getting really upset and it was completely unnecessary. I can't change her, I can't force her to see my point of view and consider it. She's just going to be the same narcissistic person who only cares about herself and I can't

do anything about it. It's pointless for me to waste my energy arguing with her. So now, I'm just trying to calm down and deal with my emotions right now. 8 to 4. Okay, a lot of you were asking me exactly why my mother and my grandma don't get along. Or rather, why my mother doesn't like my grandma and I honestly didn't know. I didn't have an answer to that so I had been avoiding those questions. But today, I finally decided to find out because I think it's about time that I get to know about these things.

They definitely do concern me, and I am part of it. of the family, I deserved to know. I obviously couldn't ask my mother about it, not after the fight we had on the phone call today, so I decided to ask the only other person who would have an inkling as to why this was the case. So I approached my grandmother, and I asked her, very straightforwardly, why my mother didn't get along with her. She seemed a little taken aback by that question, probably because she hadn't seen it coming after so long. But she did not shy away from telling me the truth. And I finally have an answer to your questions now. So apparently before my parents got married, my mother had been talking about quitting her job so she could be a stay-at-home

wife. My grandmother had put her foot down and said that she was not going to allow that to happen because of a couple of reasons. The first one is the most practical reason, that my dad already had a full-time housekeeper working for him, from before he had even started dating my mom. So there was no point in her staying at home and doing nothing. The second reason was that she knew that if my mother decided to stay at home for a while, she would just never end up going back to work. And that would mean that she would be relying on my dad's income for the rest of the duration of their marriage. She could not let that happen because that would just mean that my mom was marrying my dad for his money. This is why she put her foot down and my grandma told my dad that she would not allow

her daughter-in-law to sit at home and do nothing. She had to be a woman. And if she had to be a woman, If my mother still chose to get married to my dad, then she would know for sure that my mother was not just with my dad for the money. Luckily, my mother did marry my dad, in spite of the fact that she would not be allowed to quit her job like she had wanted to. My grandma was pleased with what had happened, but since then, my mother hasn't liked my grandma because she doubted her character. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. I do think that it might have been insulting for my mother to have somebody cast aspersions on how much she loved my father and the reason why she was with him, but then I also can't blame my grandma for doubting her intention since they belong to a pretty

financially well-off family. So I'm kind of torn between the two of them, but well, it is what it is. Because I honestly don't know who's right and who is wrong, but I know that right now, my grandma is the best for me. So that's all I have to say about this. Update 5, hey, so it has been a couple of weeks since I last spoke to my mother. We had that really bad fight on the phone, and we have not spoken to each other since. From what I know, she has taken down that post that she had made, and along with that, she has also taken down any other photos that she had of me on all of her social media accounts. She's basically pretending that she is only one daughter and it's hurtful, but I have to deal with it.

This is the way that I have chosen for myself and I'm going to stick to it. I also got accepted into the business school that I had applied to, the one that my dad wanted me to get into. And I can't tell you how happy I am about it. I can't put it into words, really. When I read that acceptance email, I thought I screamed loud enough for the state to hear me. My grandmother is thrilled, but not more than me. I'm not just happy that I'm going to such a great institution, but mostly, I'm also happy that I was able to live up to the promise that I had made to my father. I have been studying really hard for the past couple of months. It feels like all my hard work has paid off. And it will continue to pay off in the years when I take over my father's

business and do what he had meant for me to do. I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling continuously informed all acquaintances that her spouse loathed our familial gatherings, yet when I approached him, he was clueless about the situation. It transpired that she was fabricating everything. Up. Hello everyone. I, 26F, live in a small town with a lot of family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, basically everyone related to me lives here. My sister Lilia, 28F, married her husband Sean, 31M, last year. I don't know him very well, but I don't have a problem with him either. Every other weekend, my mom will host a party-type thing for the whole family.

There's food, decorations, music, etc. Everyone has a blast. A few months ago, my sister started acting kind of strange at these parties. Her husband isn't a very social person from what I can tell. He usually stands off to the side, sometimes without food. Lillia started making comments, usually to our immediate family, but sometimes to anyone who'll listen. About how Sean thinks the decorations look tacky or Sean thinks the music is too loud. At first it was basically harmless, but the comments got worse and worse.

She started saying things like that outside of family parties, too. The weekend before last, she made small talk for a while before saying, Hmm, Sean doesn't look like he's having a good time. I don't think he likes the food very much. I can't really blame him. We don't usually eat at low-class restaurants like yours. Her comments always pissed me off, but this pushed me pretty hard. My mom works really hard to make delicious food for these parties.

She's a chef at Olive Garden. I guess my mom could tell I was getting upset, so she pulled me aside and told me not say anything to Lillia, that it wasn't a big, stuff like that. I respected her wishes, even though I really wanted to stand up for her. Last week, Lillia called and said Sean's best friend is getting married. I'm a wedding planner, and she wants me to plan the wedding. I said, sure.

This weekend, Sean's best friend and his fiancé had a joint bachelor and bachelorette party. Lilia is a bridesmaid. She invited me to come along so I could meet the bride and groom, and probably officially become their wedding planner. When I arrived at the club, Lilia immediately grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the bathroom. She said, Sean isn't happy. No one will take you seriously as a wedding planner if you dress like a slut. You embarrassed him, and now, the groom, will blame him for recommending a shitty planner. I had enough of her at that point. It felt like she was just using Sean as an excuse to voice her own opinions.

I said, if Sean thinks I'm a shitty wedding planner for dressing normally for a damn club, he can get, the groom, a new wedding planner. I walked out and went home. Ada Update 1, October 24th, 2024. Okay, here's the update. Thank you everyone for your great comments and advice. I ended up inviting Sean and Lillia out to lunch.

Lillia was still a little upset that I had dressed like a slut at the club, but mostly things went fine. Before we left, I asked Sean if he thought my outfit at the club was inappropriate. He said no. I asked if thought my mother's cooking was bad. He said no again, this time he looked more confused. Before I could ask him about another comment, Lillia grabbed his arm and pulled him up. She said they had to go. Sean looked even more confused and told Lillia he wanted to hear what I was going to ask next.

She looked visibly angry, and after I asked him if he thought the decorations were tacky, Lillia said, If you're not coming, I'm leaving without you. She ran to the car before either of us could stop her. Sean was really confused now and asked why I thought he didn't like the food, etc. I told him the whole story of how Lillio was telling me and my immediate family he was saying rude things. He looked completely shocked now. He said he never said any of those things, and that he thinks the parties are wonderful. He explained he's just a little antisocial and gets nervous around people he doesn't know well,

which I totally get. He apologized if anything he did was offensive, but I said that. there was no need for an apology. I gave him a ride home, Lillia took off with her car. When we got there, my sister's car wasn't in the driveway. I went to my mom's house next to drop off some stuff I had for her in the car. When I got there, Lillia's car was parked outside. She was sitting at the dining table crying, and my mom was doing her best comfort her. When my sister saw me, she started crying even harder. I sat down and waited until she could calm down. When she finally did, I gently asked why she was saying all those things. Lillia said, I don't know. To make you hate him,

I guess. My mom asked why she wanted us to hate him. She kept replying to our questions with I don't know's before admitting the truth. She said she'd been feeling jealous since our brother Eric got married. She felt like he was getting all the attention, especially when his wife announced her pregnancy. She also said Eric was always the golden child growing up, and she wanted people to notice her just this once. I never thought he was the golden child. In fact, Lillia seemed to be favored over him, but maybe I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to notice. My sister decided to stir up some drama to get the attention back on her. She used Sean, because no one in the family knew him very well and it was easy because he doesn't interact with a lot of people. She claimed she wanted

the attention so badly, even if it was negative. She wanted to see how far we'd let her go before one of us snapped. After a long talk, she promised never to do anything like this again, and admitted she mostly did all this out of resentment toward Eric for always stealing the spotlight. My mom promised to pay more attention to her, and she apologized if she ever made Lillia feel like Eric was better than her. We all hugged it out. Earlier tonight, Lillia called me and said she and Sean were going to try couples therapy, and she was going to get individual therapy for herself. I said I was happy for her and she can come to me if she ever needs anything. I guess that's it. I'll update again if anything else happens. Comments where O.P. has

replied, commenter one. Dang. Personally, I would never trust Lillia with anything ever again especially because she craved attention so much she didn't care if it made her partner, a man she supposedly loves, into the bad guy. What's stopping her from doing that to any one of you if she could do that to the man she made vows with? My mom promised to pay more attention to her, and she apologized if she ever made Lillia feel like Eric was better than her. I don't really like this response to be honest. Lillia straight up admitted she wanted people to hate Sean for no reason and she gets rewarded with love and more attention. Oop, my mom has stage four cancer, and we don't know how much longer she'll be here.

I completely understand wanting this all to just be over and cherishing the time she has is left with her daughter. But in a different situation, I 100% agree that this wouldn't be a great response. Commenter to. Is Lillia the middle child? Oop, no. She's the oldest. Eric is the middle child. Commenter three. Honestly, op, if I were you, I'd give your sister some L.C. space. Because she's acted horribly to all of you and at her poor husband's expense.

All because she didn't have enough attention. She needs help and you need to stay away from her for a bit. She's just drama at this point. You can still be there for your mom while keeping low contact with your sister. Stop making excuses for her. her. Oop, I would, but I think a lot of this was caused by mom's declining health. I want to be there for all of my family if the worst were to happen. My mom wants all of to be there for her as a family. If I went low contact, it would really hurt my mom and cause other damage to the family. I also

think this is just Lillia's way of dealing with the grief of possibly losing our mom. It doesn't excuse her behavior, of course, but I can't go low contact now when she needs me. Update 2. October 25th, 2024. Hi again. I wanted to give a mini update and answer some questions I've seen in the comments. I am 26, Eric is 27, and Lillia is 28. I didn't end up planning Sean's best friend's wedding. I found out the wedding is in two weeks, and they were scrambling to put everything together, confirm everything, even book some things last minute. So no, I didn't take that job. I am not trying to justify Lillia's actions in any way. I agree that she really needs therapy. I'm just trying to help people understand why I'm not going no contact with her. First, there's our mom. If if I personally wanted to cut contact with her, our mom is cancer.

She wants us to be together as a family for her, and I respect that. Also, I would love someone who's cut off a family member to comment and explain how it all went, especially someone who lives in the same town as a lot of family. My hunch is, it's not easy. I probably should have put this in the original post, but I'm saying it now. My father died when I was 19 in a bad car crash. Lillia was really close to him. My sister has been my best friend since I was born.

That's not something I want to throw away over one incident. Yes, it was wrong. Yes, I am angry. at her. Yes, it will take a long time for me to trust her again, but I still love her. She's done so much for me. Punched someone who was bullying me in the face. Worked double shifts to help with my tuition. Never once left my side when I suspected my ex was stalking me. And that's just to name a few. I don't think she's a terrible person. I think she screwed up out of fear for our mom and the trauma of losing our dad. The jealousy part could also be true. She's always been a very jealous person.

It will take time for me to forgive her, but I think we can work things out. Now onto the mini update. I spoke with Mom today. She's also angry at Lillia, of course, but she wants to keep the peace at least until her time comes. She said conspiratorially at the next party, Sean's going to pull a Lilia set on her. Half joking, though it would be funny if it really happens. I spoke to Sean too. He's the angriest out of us, but he said he loves her and is going to try to work things out. They start couples therapy on Saturday, and Lilia starts individual therapy tomorrow. I wished him the best. Next story, family boycotted my wedding after my fiancé refused to ask my dad's permission to marry me. Now I'm pregnant with their first grandchild and they're making demands.

Hi, guys. I've been with my boyfriend, M25, for three years. We both just finished school and are finally ready for marriage. He proposed last week and I happily said yes. I could not be happier. I love him and he is going to be an awesome dad someday. But my BF is very new school and my dad is kind of old school. My dad was beyond mad that my boyfriend did not ask my dad for my hand before proposing. My dad said he was willing to hear my boyfriend's apology if my boyfriend formally asks for my hand at a dinner that my dad said he will pay for at the restaurant of my boyfriend's choosing. My dad feels like he is being very accommodating. He will bring my boyfriend's favorite wine to celebrate. I spoke to my boyfriend last night and he won't budge. He doesn't believe in that

tradition. My boyfriend showed me an article online where a Pakistani woman was stoned to death outside a courthouse because she married a man against her family's wishes. This just happened. My boyfriend who witnessed his father be abusive slash possessive with his mom as a child has always felt strongly that women are not property. He thinks the tradition of asking for her hat is repulsive. His point is that he's met my whole family and gotten to know them. He says they have always known his intentions and he never made it secret that he was in love with me and wanted to marry me and have children. He feels he was done enough to announce his intentions and all of them seem to approve of him. He says that at this point he only needs my approval to marry him and nobody

else's. So yesterday my mom told me that my dad who is not even speaking to me because I won't set my foot down with my boyfriend is calling the whole family and telling them to not attend my wedding. My mom says that my boyfriend is the one treating me like property by not letting me have a say in his decision to not observe a tradition that my two older sister's husbands observed. I told my mother that I understand where my boyfriend is coming from and that I have decided to do away with the tradition of him asking for my hand. So my mother is obviously mad and said that I should be ready for serious consequences. I asked her what and she would not say. But from talking to my sister, she said that they would blackball us from all family gatherings.

My two sisters and my mom have told me my boyfriend is being selfish. The wedding is set for August 9th. I'm worried that nobody in my family will attend my wedding. Edit, I'm getting some comments about my boyfriend asking for my parents' blessing instead of permission or hand. I just can't see the difference. There might be one, but I don't see it. Is there a big difference?

comments where Op has replied, Boop, thanks for the congrats and comment. I was just thinking as I read some comments here. One comment said that my parents should not have staged the boycott either way. So maybe the boycott signals something more than just my father wanting to be included in some way. I don't know, I'm now worried that the boycott and calling all my relatives signals more controlling issues that my dad has that I never noticed before. My two older sisters had no problems with their wedding because they did everything the way my dad liked.

So, I'm scared now that maybe my boyfriend is right that it's not just a tradition. Tilda, deleted, my dad feels like he is being very accommodating. No, both he and your mother are being controlling. And they are attempting to make you choose between your fiancé and them. Choose your fiancé, otherwise you're setting precedent for this type of behavior slash interference for the rest of your marriage this is what I'm afraid of. My fiancé and I don't practice Catholic religion like my family does. So I wonder what will happen when my kids aren't baptized and all that update. The wedding went on as planned. My parents stuck to their guns and boycotted.

One of my two sisters attended and is now happily blacklisted from our family. Nobody else from my entire family showed up, including my two brothers. The wedding was a little unconventional. My sister walked my husband down the aisle and then his sister walked me down the aisle. I wanted this because my still actually introduced us and helped me get my first date with him. There was no questioned about who gives away the bride or even about objections. It was normal other than that. There has been no contact between me and my family, other than my one sister.

My mother has made it a point to send me a card every time that they have a family gathering for holidays or birthdays at their house to let me know that my father says I'm not invited. I get one almost every month. I don't even read them anymore. I just toss them. I don't why they keep sending them because I've made no effort to contact them and I live over three hours away so it's not like I will run into them by accident. The reason I came back to post this here is because some people here made a prediction that came true, that they would come crawling back when we had children. I am now expecting our first child, a girl smile. She will be the first grandchild for my parents.

My parents found out about the pregnancy a few months ago through a family friend. They didn't waste any time in making demands, not requests, demands. My boyfriend and I are not religious, but I had a Catholic upbringing. I don't practice at all by choice. My mother called me back in April telling me that my father wanted our daughter's middle name to be his mother's first name. I said no. My father was listening and on speaker, so I went ahead and told them that they were officially

uninvited from all birthdays, graduations, and any other important dates in her life. My father called me half an hour later crying and begging me to come stay with them for the birth so my mother could care for me. I said no. He also said that he had already made arrangements for his priest could baptize her at his church, but that I needed to agree to naming her after his mother if I wanted this to happen. He said he'd already planned a big celebration for the birth and the baptism that he was paying for. I said no to all of it. He went from meekly trying to sweet talk me to raising his voice at me and I hung up. He called a couple of more times to apologize for losing his temper and again begged me to reconsider giving birth at a hospital near them so they could

visit us. He denied having any knowledge of my mother sending me cards to uninvite us to any family functions and even said that he specifically asked her to invite us, but he was told I declined every time. He lets my mom do the dirty work so he can later hide behind her and deny he had any knowledge. He's done this since I was a little girl. He does this every time he wants to drop the hammer on somebody but be the good cop also. He'll never change. He denied having any knowledge of why anybody in the family missed my wedding. I told him our daughter would not be baptized, or Catholic at all, to Catholics. I told him he was too manipulative and controlling and I didn't want my daughter exposed to that. He's too toxic and just venomous. Coincidentally, the day and for several

days after that phone call I got tons of calls and emails from my brothers, their wives, my sister, and all my aunts. They all wanted to apologize for missing my wedding, and all had specific excuses, and wanted to make plans to be there for my daughter's birth. I banned them all from her life until she's old enough to decide for herself to let them in. My husband was a little surprised and not sure about banning everybody forever. He's more leaning towards supervised visits if they want to drive to us. My dad has been calling him like crazy, but we are a united front. My husband is deferring to me but giving me ideas as to how I can give a little if I decide to.

But with my family there's no giving a little. They want it all. For now, they're all banned. I will reconsider when the youngest of our children turns 18 smile. For now my dad will have to settle for sucking up to my husband while I stick to my guns. Unlike him, I don't mind owning my decisions even if it means I'm bad cop. I'm not ready to give up a relatively drama-free, stress-free life to allow my dad and all his sheep back into our lives. Comments where Op has replied, downvoted commenter, he should have just done such a small task and asked, like to make peace, geez, I mean really really. pushing your family away for such a stupid reason.

On their side and yours. Oop, but that's the thing. After that one small task they would want to name my daughter, another small task, then they would ask I go have the baby near them, another small task, then have her baptized by their priest, then they pick her school, then they make life decisions for her like they tried with me and my siblings, all small tasks. Oop replying to a downvoted comment that things have gone too far and to make amends for their

daughter, I guess I would tell you that not everything fits in the oversimplification in your comment. My daughter will be better off without a full family of manipulative, controlling, and abusive people, or people who condone such behavior. After years of abuse I was glad my husband decided my dad's demand that he asked permission to marry me was too antiquated. The original conflict that caused this rift was years of abuse and manipulation. I chose to burn bridges that needed to go. Otherwise, I would never be free to make my own decisions about my own live without consulting with my dad at every turn. I hope you enjoy this story. Steve wedded the resident he was deceiving with, and currently they're pressuring me to have their trio daughters as the flower girls

at my nuptials even though I already vowed to my friend. Cousins. Hello, everyone. I, 25F, am getting married to my fiancé, Jackson, 25M, this year in August. When I was five, I met my husband when I was in the woods near a Catholic church he attended near my house. I found him lost and I guess we just never stopped hanging out since then, and I'm glad for that. Anyways, my husband has five siblings. John, 35M. Jessica, 32F. Jacob, 30M, Joy, 27 F. and Janice, 15F. For clarification, this story is about my eldest bill, John. His ex-wife, Grace, 34F, had two kids together, Julia, 13F, and Peter, 10M. Well, when I was 16, Grace's parents were tragically keyed in the alleyway while walking together for quality time around sunset and

were both mugged. I won't get into the details, but the aftermath was devastating. Sure, The key you are got life in prison, but Grace was devastated. So devastated that she was placed in the mental ward since she had a horrible mental snap. She was in there for a year when John served her with divorce papers. Why? Well after only two damn months of Grace being in the mental ward, he had started an affair with their single neighbor, Page 35F. This only drove Grace further down her spiral and she is still in there to this day, nine years

later. John and Paige rushed to get married, only six months after John's divorce was final. I was so angry because I knew how deeply he hurt not only Grace, but Julia and Peter. I've known them both since they were born and always saw them like family. My parents found out and didn't want me visiting them anymore, but I just couldn't because I felt like I'd be leaving them behind. Well, three years into their marriage, they got pregnant with three triplet girls. After the were born, Peter was paid more attention to since he was such a good big brother now. However, Julia was showed to the side. I was pissed because John was basically replacing her with his three new girls. Julia spent countless nights with me at my parents' house since I was 19,

but my parents allowed me to stay home for college to save money on housing. Needless to say, I never fought for a relationship or tried to talk to John or Paige whenever I visited Julia and Peter, mostly to take them out to get out of that hellhole. Fast forward to two years ago, Jackson proposed. It was a sweet moment because it was where we had our first date and it was absolutely magical. We knew we shouldn't get married too early since we were only 23 at the time. I did accept the proposal, but we still needed some time. We announced our engagement when it happened and only friends and family contacted us.

Julia and Peter did, but never John or Paige reach out. Now that we're planning to get married this year in August, we started to really delve into planning for the past few months. One day, I was reviewing the venue for the color scheme me and Jackson wanted with my mom when my phone rang. I didn't pick it up at first because it was in the kitchen while I was in the living room so couldn't reach it in time. However, when it rang again, I was surprised to see it was Paige. When I picked up, she made small talk. I play along until the topic of the wedding came up. She then asked about who the flower girl would be and she soon asked if her three triplet girls, 6F, could fill the roles.

Despite them being pretty old, two younger cousins of mine have always wanted to be the flower girls and I promised them that they could when I first announced my engagement. I didn't plan to break that promise and I told Paige that I couldn't do that since I made my promise to my cousins already. Paige immediately berated me and long story short, she hung up super pissed. Later that night, Jackson and I were in bed when I told him what happened. Jackson said not to worry about it since she can't do anything about it since she had her wedding already and this is ours. I nodded and smiled and we left it at that. Now for the past month, I've been getting bombarded on Facebook and basically all social media and my phone number by page, John, and their friends and family for me not giving them what their daughters wanted. especially Jessica, eldest sister and their family.

I wasn't surprised because when I was 16, she got pregnant with her sister's boyfriend and they got married when their affair daughter was a year old, may make a separate post regarding that shit show. But with all the harassment I'm getting, I'm starting to think I may be the a-hole. Besides, I want my wedding day to make sure everyone is in good spirits and go into my marriage with a good head. So I just wanted to come here and ask Ida for not letting my eldest Bill's triplet daughters be my three flower girls? Edit. I think I should also add some vital info. So first off, John is a corporate lawyer with a lot of connections, so I'm not sure if threatening him to leave me alone or anything like that would help like someone mentioned. Also, I saw and

replied to a comment that implied I had a grudge against the triplets. I'll add it here and say I don't have anything against the triplets. It's ridiculous to blame them for existing when they didn't ask for it, nor ask for such horrible people for parents. I'm also seeing blocking on FB and social media. I've done that and I'm considering changing my number, but I have to get some affairs in order before I can. Mostly letting family members and trustworthy friends know. Also, my parents know about this and are trying to help best they can. I've also alerted my future in-laws about this, and they said they'd talk to John and Paige. One thing to also mention is that my in-laws cut John off after what he did to Grace,

but re-established contact when the triplets were born. Understandable since at the end of the day, they are their grandchildren despite what their parents have done. Update one, first of all, I'd like to thank you for all the messages and comments on the last post. I never thought this would get a lot of attention, let alone a small amount of it. So just to update you all, I followed much of you. advice and I have blocked many of John and Page's family that were blasting me. Also, I have seen that Jackson should stick up to his brother. He has done that. However, John simply doesn't listen to anyone. Could be because he finds himself entitled not to for being the eldest sibling

or being a lawyer, not sure. But my future in-laws did talk to him and threatened him for me that he won't be allowed into the wedding. While that was a bit invasive of them to make that threat without my acknowledgement, I'm glad they did since John would more likely listen to them than to me. But that's not entirely what this update is about. As I mentioned in my previous post, I mentioned that I picked up Julia to get away from her toxic household. Well, last time I was there, last night so we could go night driving, John's tree triplet girls, who were all six, rushed up to me and told me they were so excited to be a huge play in the wedding. I was confused and immediately realized that Paige wouldn't look at me. I didn't want to confront her and gently tried to tell the girls that

while I appreciate their enthusiasm, I already had flower girls in mind. It took a couple of minutes and surprisingly, they took it well. I was confused but decided to leave it at that. I took Julia and we had a nice drive. We went to the park and we just hung out and talked on a bench. I asked her pretty bluntly and not really expecting an answer if the triplets ever really wanted to be a part of the wedding. This was a surprise to Julia because she knew I was getting married, but didn't really think the triplets wanted to be a big part, nor have they talked about it to her or Peter. I was even more confused and decided to try and talk to John when I saw him. When I dropped Julia off, I tried to talk to John, but Paige said to me to pee his off.

Like what? What did I do? When I got home, I waited for Jackson to be in bed. It's our safe space to always talk. I didn't want to talk to my parents since they're both busy and stressed with house renovations and my grandma's heart health, so didn't want to put them under more pressure. When I told Jackson, he said that he too was contacted by John during the time I was out with Julia that I needed to do this. The crazy thing is, neither of us even know why. Jackson said that he'd again tell his parents to deal with it.

This morning, I woke up and decided to call out of work to just have a mental day to myself and I just got back from walking around the mall and getting coffee. I got some plushies I found cute to decorate the bed. Anyways, no word yet, so I'm just going to try and get as much mental breaks when I'm not worried about this, work, and the wedding and some family issues aside from this. I'll update when I get any clarification on why so badly John and Paige want their daughters to be in the wedding so badly. Update 2, hi, again. Before going into the update, I do want to address something. I saw a comment saying my fiancé needs to stick up for me and confront John on his own. While I do agree that Jackson should stick up for me, John just won't listen to any of his siblings that don't agree with him, no matter how wrong he is.

The only reason my future Mill and Phil can get to him is most likely because they're his parents and now how to get him to listen better. I don't know and really don't care to know. All that matters is that they can get through to him. Now for the update. So just last night, I got the whole story. I won't dive into it, but to the people who said Paige was using the girls as a way to be accepted into the family, congratulations. You win the grand prize for being absolutely correct. Paige and John also said it wasn't fair that only Julia was getting to be a bridesmaid.

She is, by the way, in case some people were hoping she would be, while their triplets don't have any significant role. Well again, I have a much better connection with Julia and Peter than I do the triplet girls. So yeah. Guess who is fully blocked and uninvited from the wedding? Also just this morning, Jackson himself told them they were uninvited before blocking them on both his and my devices since I was still asleep and he goes to work before me. I also had to block Jessica, might make a full story on her and why she's also basically estranged, because she was berating me and calling me callous and cruel for punishing three little girls. I just blocked her since after reading countless comments, I know I'm not the a-hole and that talking to her won't do any good for me.

So, blocked two. I'm also following some advice and will look into extra security personal for the wedding so John and Paige don't try to come. I don't know why it took internet strangers to tell me to block them to finally go through with, but glad I did since I guess just my older brother telling me wasn't really working. Anyways, thank you all so much for advice in your comments and I'll be sure to update after the wedding. Update 3. Hello all. This isn't the biggest update. So, my fiancé is no longer my fiancé. He is now my husband. We got married just yesterday and now we're

in our new home planning to go to our honeymoon next week. The wedding itself went wonderful. I didn't find out anything about John, Page, even about Jessica and Tim, my issues with them on my profile. Thankfully, I follow your guys great advice of giving the security a password to ensure they can't come in. Also, I was able to get Julia and Peter to the wedding, thanks to the help of my now mill and Phil. Love to be able to see all them that. Julia was a bridesmaid and we let me Peter help with the music since he is pretty tech-savvy. Don't know if I said that in one of my last updates, huh, I also finally got into contact with Grace, yay, I haven't been able to do that with all the wedding prep and the family drama, so it was nice to talk to her. I asked her if she wished to

attend, but she said she didn't know if she was ready to come into the outside world, but would love videos and photos. I was said, but understood where she was coming from since she was in the the mental institution she is at right now for nearly 10 years at this point. I also want to help her get parental rights over Julia and Peter since the kids deserve their mother in their life, their real mother who actually care about them and not just for appearances. She is on board and now got this in my hands. Also, people who are wondering about if John and Page tried to intervene, they did, but as I said, security did wonderful to keep them out. But when me and Jackson were now in our marital bed, I got a text from a digital bed. I got a text from a

different number and realized I was in a group chat now between John, Page, Jessica, and Tim. I didn't bother to read any of the messages, but then saw a couple that had Jessica exploiting secret things I told her growing up since we were close. I blocked them all again, but was upset since she was talking about bad ancestors, bad live family members, mistakes I made, etc. I thought I'd be super pissed, but I was just indifferent when I saw the message since I don't really care about those things anyways, that's the update for now. Don't know if I'll update again, I might since this whole wedding might lead to bigger family drama. But in case I don't, thank you all for listening to my rant and giving me advice on this matter. Edith, hey y'all.

Just a small edit, but we just arrived in Brussels. We'll be here for about two weeks. We plan to spend the first week and a half together and spend the last few days with Jackson's mom's side of the family the last few days. I'll have my notifications off except messages and whatnot and will be back during the nighttime hours hen I can and not too tired. Update four, Hey, guys. It's been a while since I last posted here. Just a quick sum up of what's been going on lately, Grace is being re-evaluated for her medications and treatment with the possibility of being released and Phil managed to find a great lawyer for her to rearrange the custody. But that's, however, is not what this update is about.

Back two weeks ago, me and Jackson were in my parents' house while they took my grandma out of state to see my mom's younger brother and his family. While I was cooking and Jackson was in the living room trying to fix something with the TV, that's when the doorbell rang. I looked through the cameras. I saw it was Paige. Jackson went to the door and slightly opens it with the chain on. Page was screaming and crying, asking if we were happy her life was falling apart.

Despite my better judgment, we brought her into the house since I didn't want her to make a scene for any neighbors to see. I sat her down and tried to relax her a bit with some water. She downed half the bottle before she wiped her eyes. I was angry because why did she have the audacity to do this? Come to my parents' property to talk to us. Page soon told us why she was there. She told us that after our wedding, she and John had a huge fight where so many things were said. Page was told that she was the biggest mistake in John's life, how he hated her and wished she was never his neighbor, etc.

She said he also regretted having their three girls since that seemed to also damage his relationship with Julia and Peter. Despite what I have said on here, John really was a good dad to them until he forced them all to be one big family with his new kids while also pushing Juliet to the side. That didn't make any sense to me. She said John told her she was the reason why he was so estranged from his family. and whatnot. She also confessed that this has always been the case. John would verbally abuse her ever since they got married and only had kids with her, hoping that would soften his family to him again. I was baffled and so was Jackson. I now had a guess that Paige was only the way she was was because of the abuse she suffered by John. There was a lot more said, but Jackson ended up

suggesting some therapists to her since she clearly had a lot to figure out. That's why I love Jackson so much. Despite this woman doing so much to us, he still was willing to help her. Paige then left, her daughters were being left under the care of Julia and Peter. I don't know what's going to happen now. But one thing I know for sure is that I want Paige to get out of that marriage. Not just for her, but for the triplets since they are innocent and all of this and they're just six. I am also hoping that Julia and Peter are taken away from John's care whether or not he is abusing them or not because for all we know, he's seriously sick in the head. Edit to make, I want to confirm that I don't 100% trust page on this.

So I am taking what she said at face value. However, not really at the same time because if what she is saying turns out to be true, I want her to get the life out this situation any way that I can. Update 5. So, it's been another two months since my last update and things have gotten interesting. I found out from my Phil that Paige was actually being verbally abused by John. However, she's not any better. How does my Phil know this?

The triplets tell him in a fashion that's like Mama and Papa always yell mean things at each other. So that's enough proof for that. But I highly doubt they're going to get divorced since they want to put on a strong front for everyone, despite them being known for cheaters. On a positive note, Grace has been cleared to leave the mental hospital. She's been staying with joy, my sill, and her husband while Grace gets back in her feet and gets used to normal life. Julia and Peter met her at my in-law's house. It was super emotional from what I have been told by my husband, who was there.

Before people ask why they were allowed to see Grace, my in-laws do of John's permission to take them sometimes like I do. Two nights ago I went to go see Grace and she looks better than ever. She is at a healthy weight, she was very skinny before. and looks a lot more happy than she has been in a while. The custody reevaluation has started just three weeks ago, so that's still ongoing so that Grace can have custody with the kids. Me and my husband are also doing well. He started to be more involved with the kids now

that he is taking a semester off from medical school to be with the family more. This is the reason why he wasn't as involved as I was, because he was busy with medical school. So, not the most eventful update, but hopefully things will get better. I will update when the custody agreement has been finalized. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse covertly asked his sibling to join us on our post-wedding vacation

without my knowledge despite my objection. Consequently, I left him at the airport and embarked on a solo journey instead. Hello. So my husband Jacob, 30M, and I, 27F, got married about a week ago and yesterday, we were supposed to leave for our honeymoon. But I ended up taking a flight to someplace else altogether because his younger sister showed up at the airport and apparently, Jacob was in on this the whole time and had actually invited her to come along with us. For context, his sister Angie, 26F, recently went through a terrible divorce with her ex-husband and has been very torn up about it for

the past couple of months. Angie and her ex had been high school sweethearts and got married as soon as they could. They spent several beautiful years together until about a year ago when Angie found out that he had been having an affair for months with one of his co-workers. She tried to make it work with him even after that, but after several sessions of marriage counseling, her ex was the one who filed for divorce because he claimed that he just couldn't do this anymore. She begged him to stay, but in spite of that, he left and they got divorced. She received everything in the divorce, the house and the cars, and a hefty settlement, but even that wasn't enough for her because she wanted her marriage to stay intact and didn't care about anything else. I thought it was really sad and I

honestly felt bad for her because she was a sweet person and she didn't deserve it. To be honest, nobody deserves to live like that, and I had witnessed firsthand how depressed she was in the months following the divorce. I wanted to help her out, but all I could offer her were words of consolation. I wanted to involve her in the wedding so that she would stay busy and distracted, but Jacob told me that he didn't think it was such a good idea because being part of a wedding like ours would just remind her that her own marriage had fallen apart, and he made a good point, so I decided to only stick to checking up on her once in a while. Angie and I were never close friends, but we got along well. In fact, I think I could say that about most of Jacob's family.

I wouldn't say that I was close to any of them, but we got along well, and I know. I know. never had a problem with any of them so far. But then, a day after my wedding, my mother-in-law Nora, 55F, called me up and said that she wanted me to invite Angie to accompany us on our honeymoon. Jacob and I had been planning for this for a really long time and I think I had been more excited about the honeymoon than the wedding, if I'm being really honest. I love traveling and so does Jacob and we love mountain ranges in particular, so we had a whole tour of the Alps planned. We had taken about three weeks off from work and we have been really looking forward to this ever since we planned it. Now I did feel bad for Angie, and I would have been willing to do whatever it took to cheer her up, except for this.

Nora told me that even Angie loved to travel, and she believed that going on a trip with us would help her with the pain. But Angie wouldn't be willing to come along unless I invited her personally, so she wanted me to ask her and make it seem like I wanted her to come along. But truth be told, I didn't want her to come with us. For starters, this was supposed to be our honeymoon and I don't think it's appropriate for family to accompany the newlyweds on their honeymoon. And secondly, I was really looking forward to this since the weeks leading up to the wedding had been really busy and hectic for both of us. Jacob and I had specifically taken time off so we could travel and have some quality time with just each other. It didn't seem fair for Nora to ask me to give all that up for the sake of Angie's happiness. So, with a heavy heart, I had to tell Nora that I couldn't do so because it wouldn't be fair to either of us I expected her to understand that this was supposed to be our honeymoon and I didn't want Angie tagging along.

She didn't fight with me at the time but tried to convince me that this could do her world of good and I would be doing them all a huge favor by inviting her to come with us. She told me that she was going to cover the cost of Angie traveling with us and I didn't even have to worry about the money, all that I had to do was invite her and be there for her. She was pushing it really hard, but even then, I stood my ground and I firmly declined it because it was not fair to either of us. I could understand that it was difficult for her to deal with a divorce, but she couldn't just tag along with us and expect us to give up our honeymoon just so we could cheer her up. Besides, it wasn't even Angie trying to convince me to let her come along. Nora believed that it would be good for her to travel with us. Had Angie approached me, I might have even considered saying yes. But I didn't think that she wanted to come along with us either because she hadn't said anything of the sort and even when I had mentioned the honeymoon to her, she hadn't shown any interest in wanting to come with us and I just told me to have fun.

That was it. So after a few minutes of conversation and arguing, Nora decided to drop it and it didn't come up after that. After that conversation, I spoke to Jacob about what his mother had said, but strangely enough, he didn't have any reaction to it. He just asked me what I had told her, and I told him that. I had said no. When I said that, he just grunted and that was it, no further discussion about it. In hindsight, I probably should have read more into it, but at the time, I was just too excited to start packing for our honeymoon, so I didn't pay much mind to his reaction. In the week between the wedding and the honeymoon, we were busy at work because we were trying to wrap

everything up before we left. So we didn't have a chance to meet anybody from his family. and nobody tried to get in touch with us either. Jacob and I would talk about the honeymoon and our trip occasionally whenever we were at home this last week, but he didn't say a single word about what he had been planning. Until the very last minute, I had no idea that he had invited Angie to come with us and I only found out when we were at the airport and Angie and Nora showed up. Yesterday, Jacob and I left about three hours before our flight was scheduled at the airport. While we were waiting outside and taking our bags out of the cabs, I suddenly noticed Angie and Nora approaching us.

I tried to give everybody involved the benefit of the doubt until I noticed that Angie had her bags with her. I knew then that she was definitely not here to just say goodbye to us or drop us off. She yelled surprise really loudly and then hugged me when she was close enough, but I was still trying to process what was going on. because I think I had been very clear about my feelings on this with both Jacob and his mother. However, despite what I had said, here, she was seemingly ready to accompany us on our honeymoon. When Angie realized that I looked confused and not happy when I saw her, her smile faded, and she asked me if I was not happy to see her. I didn't even know what to say, so I just turned to Jacob for an explanation.

I wanted him to tell me that he had no idea about any of this and that Nora was the one who was responsible for this. But instead, he told me that after I had informed him about the phone call and the conversation that I had with Nora, the other day, he couldn't help but think about how nice it would be for Angie to come with us on the trip and have a good time to distract her. The reason he had not reacted that day was that he had gone behind my back a couple of hours later and told Angie that apparently I was the one who had suggested this idea and invited her to come with us on the trip to surprise me. And he was right about one thing, I was definitely surprised, but not in a good way. I thought it was sneaky and selfish of him to go behind my back

to the one thing that I had told him that I didn't want. I like Angie, like I said, she's a really nice person and I like her. But I like a lot of people, I'm not going to take all of them with me on my honeymoon just because it would be a nice thing to do. I don't have to do things just because it's a sweet thing to do, especially when it comes to something as intimate and special as a honeymoon. After Jacob told me that this was his idea, and he was the one who had invited her to come along with us, I sort of snapped at him right in front of Angie and his mother and told him that this was simply unacceptable. I knew that Angie would feel bad about it, but that was the thing on my mind at that moment. I told him that he had gone behind my back, and I couldn't forgive him for that, because it had barely even been a week into our marriage, and he was already being sneaky and lying to me. He tried to pass this off as something really small and insignificant, but he thought, I had been planning for this honeymoon for ages and I had made it very clear to him that I was really looking forward to this.

Even on the day that I had told him about the suggestion that Nora had made and that I didn't like the idea of asking Angie to come along, just because she was depressed, I think I had been very clear about my feelings on this. So this was not petty or insignificant in the slightest to me, I felt like he had betrayed me and I was extremely upset. But he simply refused to look at it like that, and he said that I was making a bigger deal out of it than was necessary and completely blowing this out of proportion. He told me that Angie would be paying for herself. She would stay in a separate room and she would only join us for certain activities, but we wouldn't be together all the time. However, that was not enough for me, because at the end of the day, she was still going to be accompanying us on our honeymoon. And I don't know about everybody else, but I really think that's weird. Had this been any other trip, like a normal weekend trip, I don't think I would have had a problem

but asking my sister-in-law to come with me on my honeymoon was where I drew the line. After a bit of fighting and arguing, I decided that I had had enough, and since Jacob refused to take accountability and accept that he had done something messed up, I thought that I was better off going away on my own. I had already taken three weeks off from work, and I wasn't going to let that go to waste. So I dropped the argument and went inside the airport, after telling him not to follow me. But of course, he did follow me. However, I didn't want him around me at that particular point in time, so I actually had to yell at him to stop following me around and said that I didn't want him anywhere near me or I really would report him for harassment.

That stopped him from coming after me, but I could tell from his face that he was really upset and hurt by what I said. I didn't care because I was pissed off and I just wanted to be away from him. So once I had yelled at him, and he had stopped following me, I decided to get myself a ticket and hopped onto the next flight to Miami. I was really lucky because it didn't require me to wait for long and I was on the flight before Jacob even had a chance to change his mind about following me. Once I landed in Miami, I decided to turn on my phone and check for texts and I realized that my inbox was full of messages from Jacob, Angie, and Nora.

All of them seemed to be really apologetic for whatever had happened, but the The only apology that really stood out was the one that I received from Angie. She told me that when, a few days ago, Jacob had visited her, and told her that I had been suggesting that she accompany us on our honeymoon, she could barely even believe it. Apparently, she was even about to ask me if I was actually okay with it because she didn't want to be intruding, but Jacob was the one who told her not to ask me because he wanted it to be a surprise for me. He had laid it on thick and made her believe that this was my idea. But after our fight at the airport, it had become clear to her that this was all planned by her mother and her brother and she said that she was sorry on their behalf because what they had done was really stupid and she didn't blame me for reacting the way that I did because she was in my place.

She probably would have done the same thing. Her apology seemed genuine and I told her that it was okay. I could understand that she was going through something really difficult and she wasn't even involved in any of this so I forgave her. But with Jacob and Nora, it was. was a different story altogether. Jacob was apologizing, but he was also trying hard to make me seem like the bad guy here. And the same applied to Nora as well. They were trying to push me into believing that they only had good intentions and didn't think that I would get so upset about this. They claimed that they had believed that I would eventually be okay with this because I always acted like I liked Angie and I do, I really like her. But like I said, that doesn't mean that I want her around on my honeymoon and if they can't accept it then I don't know what to tell them. Now, I know for a fact that I'm not in the wrong here but I still kind of feel bad.

And it doesn't help that ever since I landed here, I've been fighting with Jacob nonstop. It's because he just doesn't want to accept that he messed up by going behind my back and that this was not the right thing to do. I understand and I really respect the fact that he loves his family so much and is willing to make sacrifices for them. But I think it's extremely unfair to me to make the same sacrifices for his family. And not to mention, I'm his family as well now and he owes me certain things. It just feels like my happiness doesn't mean as much to him as his families and it feels really petty to make it seem like a competition but that's how it appears. If he actually valued my happiness as much as he valued his sisters, maybe he wouldn't have

gone behind my back and done the one thing that I had asked him not to. We have been fighting and it's been really bad because we've just been married for a week and we've gotten off on the wrong foot already. We have been together for almost seven years before this and I feel like crap right now because something like this has never happened before. We have always had a relatively normal relationship and yes, of course like any other couple, we have also had fights. But none of this magnitude and I just don't know how to deal with this. He insists that his heart was in the right place and that I really need to understand that. He claims that while having Angie accompany us on the honeymoon wasn't going to ruin anything for me.

it would have meant a great deal to her and maybe even saved her from getting worse down the road. And I can't explain to him that having Angie accompany us on the honeymoon would have kind of ruined it for me, without sounding like a really terrible person and the kind of wife who wants to separate her husband from her family. But I promise you guys, that's not the case. I know, logically, I am not the bad guy here, but all the fighting with my husband has made me feel like I'm losing my mind and I have absolutely no idea how to go ahead. I'd offer leaving my husband behind at the airport and canceling our honeymoon when I realized that he had invited his sister to accompany us on our trip.

Update 1. So, I'm still in Miami and I have been traveling a lot. This is my first time here and a lot of you guys suggested a couple of places that I should go see, and I've been doing exactly that to take my mind off of things. I still haven't been able to sort things out with my husband because Jacob is being very stubborn. He is sticking to whatever he believes, and he honestly thinks that having Angie be with us on the honeymoon wouldn't have been any different. He is so convinced of it that it took me all the comments here to make me realize that I wasn't going crazy and that he was being unreasonable. I can't understand why he doesn't get it when even Angie herself has acknowledged that it would have been weird.

He has been texting me, but I have just given up on trying to explain things to him. I had been arguing for a while, but I completely wasted the last few days. that I have been here, staying in my hotel room and arguing with him. I have spent enough of my time trying to make him see sense, but I can't help him if he refuses to acknowledge the obvious. The worst part of this is that I can't even fully enjoy myself because, in the back of my mind, I keep thinking about Jacob and what I'm going to say to him when I go back.

I can't avoid him forever and we are literally married, so it's not even like we can just break up and be done with it. My entire existence feels heavy and I don't know. I just feel like everything is going wrong right now. I have talked to my parents about this, but they don't really know what to do either. They only advised me to do whatever I felt was right and they would be supportive of it.

And I guess that's kind of helpful, knowing that they will be on my side no matter what. But I can't help feeling like everything is falling apart and the fact that it's been less than even a month since our wedding is what makes everything so much harder to deal with. I know it's really easy for people to just tell me that this is a huge red flag and I should leave my husband, get divorced, and be done with it. But in reality, it's not that easy. And I'm not even talking about the legal process of divorce.

I'm talking about the emotional and mental toll it takes. I don't know what I'm going to do, full disclosure. I just have absolutely no idea and I don't even know what to expect. Update 2. I returned from Miami a couple of days ago and I don't know. Things have not been great so far. The day that I came back, I returned to an empty home because Jacob was not here. I spent three weeks in Miami and after two and a half weeks, he stopped texting me. Even the last few messages that he sent me were, he was still insisting that he did not have bad intentions and that I needed to reconsider whatever I was doing. When I came back home, I decided to finally respond to him, and I told him that I was back here.

I didn't know what was going to happen, I just felt like I had to tell him because then at least something would happen. I couldn't stand the uncertainty of not knowing what the future holds and I felt like I just had to talk to him. So the day that I told him that I was back here, he texted me back saying that he would come over the next day and we could talk. I thought that it was a good sign and we would finally get somewhere but when he came over the next day, we were still stuck talking about the same things. We were still fighting about who was overreacting and who was in the wrong. He continued to say that I shouldn't have reacted the way that I did in front of Angie. and made such a big deal out of this because I should have just trusted him since he would

never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. But the fact that I was against something as silly as Angie joining us for our honeymoon, which was nothing but a glorified vacation, made him feel like I was being a little too over-sensitive, and that I had no need to act so crazy about it. I thought that it was really unfair, I had already told him before how I felt about Angie joining us, but he had completely overlooked it. More than Angie being a part of our honeymoon, I had a problem with him, going behind my back and lying to me. In fact, not only lied to me, but he also lied about me when he told Angie that it was my suggestion that she'd join us for our honeymoon.

I would love for her to be happy but not at the cost of my own happiness and I don't think there's anything selfish or cruel about it, like the way he was trying to portray it. If anything, he was the one being selfish because he couldn't be bothered to think about my feelings and only cared about being the good guy for his family but not for me. It made me feel like he was telling me I was not worth it and that was a really sucky feeling. On top of that, there was the fact that he was currently living in a hotel because he said that he hadn't even left after he found out that I had taken off without him. He told me that after I stopped responding to his messages, he had half a mind to go ahead and file for a divorce because he thought I was taking things too far. I thought this attitude was uncalled for because he was the one who screwed up.

We argued a lot into some things up, there was absolutely no improvement in our situation. He keeps saying that I don't have a sibling, which is why I don't understand why this is so important to him. And all right, maybe that's true, I'll never personally understand what it is like to have a sibling and care for them so much. But you know what?

There were several people in the comments of this post, who did have siblings and they told me that this was taking things too far. So yeah, maybe he is the one who is wrong, and he's just trying to gaslight me into believing that I'm the one who is overreacting. Whatever the case, I'm not falling for any of it. I have made up my mind that if he doesn't apologize to me soon, then I might just have to talk to my lawyer and prepare for a divorce. If he does apologize, that's a different story. I have been thinking about marriage counseling, but that's only if he approaches me within the next few days and tells me that he is sorry about everything.

Right now, it seems really unlikely. Just by the way, he and Nora are the only people who think what he did was completely fine, and I am the one who is taking it too hard for no reason. But Angie, the person who they are fighting so hard for, is actually on my side on this. She has reached out to me several times to let me know that she has been trying to explain this to both Nora and Jacob and tell them that what they did was backhanded, and it was just not cool. but they're not even willing to listen to her, which just goes to show that it's more important for them to be right. Even more than doing the right thing.

I totally don't even know what to think anymore because this situation is just ridiculous. I thought that I had married a sensible and amazing man but right now, I don't feel that this is the same person that I had married. I have a lot of conflicting feelings and talking about it here helps me make sense of it, even if it's just a little. I just don't want anything apart from a resolution to this. It's getting really tiring now and I can't continue to deal with this drama all the time. So this update is long overdue now. I haven't posted anything here for the past couple of months because I've been going through a terrible divorce. I did decide to give Jacob a chance and suggested marriage counseling. A couple of days after my last update here he had expressed that he wanted to work on our marriage and he didn't want to give up yet.

Jacob said that he wasn't ready to let go of me and wanted to work on our issues. So after a lot of deliberation, he and I decided to give marriage counseling a try, but it didn't help. We would be doing perfectly fine during the sessions in the presence of our therapist. But as soon as we were out, it would be back to fighting and it would feel like we were just wasting time during therapy sessions. We still didn't give up, though, we attended the sessions for almost a month until we finally called it quits. because it just didn't make sense to keep attending the sessions and work everything out there but continue to keep fighting in real life. He wasn't ready to accept that he was being a little too family oriented for his own good and was forgetting that I was his family also and I wasn't okay with

living a life like that, where I would always come second. So both of us agreed that it would be for the best if we just separated. It sounds easy but it was an incredibly difficult decision to make and both of us were shattered that this was not going to work out. We filed for divorce, mutually, and right now, we are in the settlement phase. At this point, I don't even care what I get out of the divorce. I just want this to be over so I can move on with my life and pretend that this never happened. I have been looking into individual therapy for myself because it's really crazy what I'm dealing with here and I really think I could do with help to process everything that's going on. My parents and my friends have been incredibly supportive, and I'm really grateful for it because

they're the only people who are actually making it easier for me. I know lots of people are gossiping about me and how my marriage fell apart within less than a year, but I honestly don't even care. What matters is the people who I care about on my side and think that I did the right thing. As long as I have that, I'm not too worried about what happens in the future. I'm just going to work and focus on myself now. Sure, it's going to be a painful couple of months emotionally, but people have gone through worse and survived and I'm hopeful for the future. Thank you so much for all the love and support that you guys have shown me. It means a lot to me.

I hope you enjoy this story. My husband's son continues to refer to me as a, shiny treasure, despite the fact that I am the one providing for his dad and covering all expenses. I, a 42-year-old woman, have been wed to my spouse Henry. 45M. for four years. He has a 19-year-old son, Levi, from a previous marriage. When Henry and I first got together, he was going through an extremely difficult time after unexpectedly losing his job of 15 years. His confidence and self-worth were pretty low, and his low savings had been wrecked by a long,

messy divorce from Levi's mother. I couldn't bear to watch the man I loved suffering so much. After only a brief discussion, I insisted Henry move into my house so he could get back on his feet without the stress of rent. I helped pay off the mountain of debts he'd accrued, bought him a used but reliable car so he could get to job interviews, and made certain he never once missed a child support payment to Levi's mom when Levi lived with her. It wasn't a handout, but an investment in building a future together as partners. Even after Henry eventually found steady work again, I continued paying the lion's share of our living expenses since I had a lucrative career as a senior

marketing executive. I never once resented Henry for this arrangement. We were a team in my eyes and I knew he deeply appreciated all I did to keep us afloat during those tough years. Henry was a proud man, someone who believed strongly in being a provider, but he swallowed that pride and accepted my help so we could build a strong relationship and maintain stability for Levi. However, his teenage son Levi took an immediate, intense disliking to me from the moment I entered their lives. He felt, fiercely resented my presence when he was already angry and feeling displaced after his parents' divorce. At 15, Levi was in the throes of adolescent angst and anger, and desperately needed a target for those roiling emotions. I became that target, the home-wrecking bitch he accused of trying to replace his saintly mother,

and the gold-digging whore he was convinced had trapped his father in her clutches. It wasn't that bad at first because he only came over during the weekends, but when Levi turned 17, his mother moved to Jamaica to live with her family there. And Levi totally refused to go with her. He had a distorted view of African countries despite being half African. Henry didn't seem to mind, agreeing that his son couldn't possibly live in the backwaters of Jamaica.

When Levi first moved in, I tried to show him the beauty of his culture in Jamaica. Google was free in Henry's foolishness in encouraging his dislike for his home country disgusted me. But Levi took my interest. in showing him information about Jamaica as an attempt to get him to leave. I swear, it was not. After a major argument where he threw our boiling hot dinner in my face,

I stopped, refusing to mention Jamaica or his mother anymore. As the years passed, no matter how hard I tried to forge a connection with my new stepson, Levi violently rejected every olive branch. I learned to cook all his favorite comfort meals, showed up to cheer myself hoarse from the bleachers at his basketball games, and spent countless patient hours helping him navigate the college application process. But he just pushed me away harder with each attempt. You're not my damn mom, you're just the bitch spending my dad's money.

Levi would sneer at me, cruelly ignoring the fact that his father was only scraping by because of my steady paycheck. Henry hated any sort of conflict, and while he certainly didn't approve of Levi's blatant disrespect, his tiny attempts at discipline was a hey now, Levi, be nice to your stepmom. As you can guess, it did little to curb his son's vicious behavior. I think any criticism of Levi that I brought up felt like rubbing salt in the wound of Henry's own perceived failure of being a terrible provider for his child. So I picked my battles carefully, biting my tongue until it bled to keep a fragile peace,

even as Levi's put-downs grew worse. When Levi turned 18 and finished high school, I thought it was time he started paying some type of rent if he wanted to continue living at home. to be clear, my home. His father agreed and we charged him a pittance compared to market rates for our area. But we hoped taking on this small responsibility would help Levi start maturing into an adult. Instead, our request was met with a temper tantrum as Levi insisted it was my house so I should be covering all his expenses to stay with his dad. To be fair, he worked a few hours a week at a part-time minimum wage job, but blew every cent of his tiny paycheck on the latest video games and

weed. After several long months of Levi shirking even the most basic household chores, skipping out on his cheap rent, coming home at all hours reeking of pot and hurling a constant litany of insults my way, I was truly at my wits end. But his disrespect to me reached a new, unimaginable height last Tuesday. I was frantically scrambling to get ready and out the door for the biggest meeting of my career, a critical pitch to land a massive new client that my marketing firm had been looking into for months. I needed to get to the office at least an hour early to prepare my presentation. Rushing out to my car, my stomach dropped through the floor when I saw my normally spotless vehicle completely covered in smashed eggs and dripping rolls of toilet paper. Across the windshield,

gold-digging horror was scrawled and shaving cream. Then, as I drew closer in horrified disbelief, I noticed that all four of my tires had been slashed. Levi stood off to the side with his arms smugly folded, openly smirking at his vile handiwork. I saw nothing but red. Years' worth of repressed resentment came flooding out of me in an uncontrollable torrent of screams and anger. I tore into Levi, calling him every variation of an ungrateful, lazy, spoiled breath that my mind could make. I raged at the sheer audacity of him constantly disrespecting me when I worked myself to the bone to fund his freeloading lifestyle and keep a roof over his father's head. I was absolutely done walking on eggshells in my own home and it was high time for him to grow the hell up and join the real world.

I gave him 30 days to find himself a new place to live, telling him that I am not his personal ATM anymore, and I'm sure as hell finished putting up with being disrespected and degraded in the house I pay for. I gave him the ultimatum while shaking with blinding rage, before storming back inside to frantically call a cab to get me to my meeting. By the time I managed to clean myself up and rush to my meeting, I was nearly 30 minutes late and still completely out of it. My pitch was mediocre at best and the clients just stared at me with cold skepticism. I left the meeting unsure if I had managed to salvage the deal. Back at home, Henry tried to talk me down, insisting that while Levi's vindictive vandalism was totally uncalled for, I had flown off the handle and gone way too far in my reaction. He pleaded with me to be the bigger

person, reminding me that this was still Levi's home too and we couldn't just throw him to the curb. Deep down, I knew Henry was terrified of pushing his son away for good, but I held firm to my position. I was utterly done tolerating such blatant abuse and disrespect from Levi. I told Henry his son needed to face real adult consequences for his actions, or he'd never learn. Henry then told me that if I kick his son out, he'll leave with him. It devastated me that my husband refused to present a united front or understand that I was being bullied in my own home by his son. Henry refused to sleep in the same bed with me that night and it broke me. I am convinced I have just destroyed my marriage by drawing such a hard line. But I can't see any other choice.

So Reddit, it's okay to be harsh. Just let me know, am I really the asshole here? Update 1. Wow, I didn't expect this to blow up like it did. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and comment, even if we didn't always agree. I figured I'd post an update to clear some things up and give more context. A lot of you asked about our financial situation. To be clear, the house is 100% in my name. I bought it before I even met Henry. The car I got him is also in my name, but I don't even care about that. He needs it more than I do. As for our bills, I've been paying the mortgage, utilities, groceries, and Levi's expenses like clothes and school stuff. Henry chips in when he can, but it doesn't even cover half the costs.

I've never thrown that in his face, though, because that's just not me. Some of you said I should have set firmer boundaries with Levi from the start. You're probably right. I guess I just wanted him to like me so bad that I let too much slide. I didn't want to overstep since I'm not his real mom. you know? But I see now that I should have demanded basic respect from day one. A few people asked why Henry can't get a better paying job. The truth is, he's always struggled with work, even before we met. He has some health issues that make it hard for him to do manual labor,

and he never finished college. But he's a good man and a hard worker when he's given a chance. I just wish he'd stand up for me more. Oh, and for those saying I should just kick Levi out already. trust me, I've been tempted. But he's still Henry's son, and I could never put that wedge in their relationship. My hope was always that we could work through this as a family. Reading all your responses made me realize this situation is even more messed up than I thought. I've been so focused on keeping the peace that I've let myself become a punching bag. That ends now. I'm going to have a serious talk with Henry tonight. Either he backs me up in setting clear rules and expectations for Levi, or I'm done being disrespected in my own home. Wish me luck, I'll keep you posted.

Update 2. Hey everyone, I'm back with another update. I wish I had better news. I sat down with Henry like I said I would. I laid it all out, how Levi's behavior was totally unacceptable, how I couldn't keep living like and how I needed his support in setting boundaries. At first, he seemed to get it. He agreed that Levi had crossed a line and promised to talk to him. But then Levi got home and the conversation went sideways fast. He started in on his usual crap about how I'm not his mom, how I'm ruining his life, yada, yada. I kept my cool and firmly told him his options. Either shape up and start contributing to the household, or find somewhere else to live. Well, apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

Levi lost it, saying he couldn't believe his dad was letting some bitch kick him out of his own house. I looked to Henry, expecting him to take my side like we agreed. And that spineless man just sat there, staring at the floor. I snapped. I told Levi it was my house, my rules, and if he didn't like it, there was the door. He stormed out, screaming about how he was leaving and never coming back and we'd regret this. Good riddance.

But it wasn't over. Henry laid into me, saying I had no right to kick out his seat. that I was tearing apart his family. I reminded him that I was his family too, or supposed to be. He said he couldn't deal with this right now and left. I don't know what to do. Still, I'll keep you guys updated. Update 3. So, my last update was two days ago. Henry has been crashing at a friend's, ignoring my texts. Meanwhile, Levi's been blowing up his phone playing the victim. I feel like I'm at my wits end. There's a part of me that just wants to give in, to swallow my pride and beg them to come back home. I long for things to go back to how they work, even if it means keeping my

head down and my mouth shut, just to maintain this illusion of a happy family. But there's something I haven't shared with you all, something I've kept hidden out of fear and embarrassment. You see, I have P. Pchose, polycystic ovary syndrome. It's a condition that affects so many aspects of my life, but most importantly, it makes conceiving a child naturally a real challenge. I've always dreamed of being a mother, of holding a little piece of myself in my arms. But with each passing year and negative pregnancy test, that dream has felt more and more out of reach. When Henry brought Levi into my life, it was like a beacon of hope in my struggle with infertility. Here was this beautiful, intelligent boy who needed a mother's love.

I guess a part of me clung to him as my chance at motherhood, even if he didn't share my blood. I poured all the love and nurturing I had into him, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he could fill that aching void in my heart. I was afraid that if people knew about my condition, they would side with Henry, see me as less of a woman or less worthy of being a parent. I worried they'd think I was using Levi as a substitute for the child I couldn't have on my own. But the truth is, my love for Levi was never a replacement or a consolation prize. It was real, fierce, and unconditional, the way a mother's love should be. Even now, after all the heartache and disrespect, those maternal feelings haven't wavered. When I tell you I love Levi like my own, I mean it

with every fiber of my being. Letting him go, drawing these boundaries, it feels like I'm ripping out a part of myself. The thought of losing him, of losing this chance at being a mom, is almost too much to bear. But I also know that I can't keep living like this, can't keep sacrificing my own well-being and self-respect for the scraps of affection they toss my way. Pichas may have made my path to motherhood more difficult, but it doesn't make me any less deserving of love and respect from my partner and my would-be child. So as much as it hurts, as much as I want to cling to this dream of family I've built in my head, I know I need to stand my ground. For my own sake, and for the sake of any future children I may have, whether they come from

my own body or through the boundless love in my heart, I need to show them that it's okay to demand respect, to set boundaries, and to walk away from those who can't give us the love we deserve. I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if I'll ever get to be a mom, or if Henry and Levi will ever truly see and appreciate all I've given them. And a bigger part of me is just damn tired. Hired of being taken for granted, disrespected, and treated like an outsider in my own life. So now I'm sitting here alone, in the house I paid for, wondering where to go from here. I know I was hard on Levi, but what choice did I have? I love Henry, but I'm losing respect for him by the minute. Why am I fighting so hard for people who clearly don't give a damn about

me? I don't know what the future holds. All I know is I deserve better than this. I deserve peace in my own home. I deserve a partner who stands by me. I'm done setting myself on fire to keep others warm. Thank you for letting me vent, and for all the tough love and support. I'll post a final update when I figure out my next steps. I know it's going to be hard, but I have to start putting myself first. They're welcome back if they can get with the program, but I will no longer set myself on fire to keep them warm. Update 4, well, it's been a hell of a ride. First off, I want to say how much all of your comments and messages have meant to me.

Even the tough ones. You've given me a lot to think about. It's been a few weeks since everything blew up. Henry stayed away for about a week, ignoring my attempts to reach out. I was starting to think it was really over. But then he showed up at the door, tired and sheepish. We had a long, brutal talk. Probably the most honest we've ever been with each other.

He admitted that he'd been avoiding confronting Levi because he was afraid of losing him like he lost his ex. And knowing it's hard for me to conceive, Levi could end up being his only child. But he said seeing me standing up for myself made him realize how much he had to lose with me, too. I told him I was done being the bad guy. done being disrespected and unappreciated. If we were going to make this work, things had to change. He agreed. As for Levi, he's still staying with friends. Henry laid down the law. If he wants to come back, he needs to get a job, pay rent, and treat me with basic human decency. No more free-loading or temper tantrums. We'll see if he steps up. I'm not going to lie, it still

hurts. I poured my heart into this family, and a lot of days it feels like it was all for nothing. I know I can't change the past. All I can do is move forward, with clearer boundaries and a stronger sense of self-worth. Henry and I are taking things day by day. Rebuilding trust and figuring out what our new normal looks like. It's not perfect, but we're trying. He's picking up extra shifts and has started chipping in more around the house. Baby steps. Talking about babies. I haven't been feeling too well.

Even prior to the entire issue. So I took a pregnancy test two days ago. You know, those drugstore types. And it was positive. So yay. Henry is excited but I told him to pipe down. Those tests are wrong sometimes. I don't know if the hesitation is for me,

or for him. He has scheduled a doctor's appointment for next week. Part of me doesn't want to go. What if the test comes out negative and I got our hopes up for nothing? Henry understands and he's not pushing me to take the test. So I'm grateful for that. But I told him not to cancel the appointment while I try to build up courage to go for the test. Right now to keep my mind off it. I'm focusing on my own happiness for once. I've taken up yoga to calm my mind. It's not helping to be honest. But still, I have to wait. I think I'll ask Henry to push the test back by a week.

I don't know. I'm just scared. But still, I guess what I've learned from all this is that you can't pour from an empty cup. And that setting boundaries isn't selfish. It's survival. I gave and gave until I had nothing left for myself. Never again. So that's where I'm at.

Still very much a work in progress, but aren't we all? Of course, I know some of you will say I'm a chump for giving Henry another chance. And maybe I am. But I got to do what feels right for me. I still love him, flaws and all. As long as I don't lose myself again, I think we've got a shot. Final update, hey everyone, it's me again. I know it's been a while since my last update, a month as a matter of fact,

but a lot has happened in the past month and I want to fill you all in. First off, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support and advice through this whole crazy situation. So, where do I even start? I guess with the biggest news, as I already hinted at, I took a blood test to confirm it and I'm truly pregnant. The doctor said everything looks good so far, but it'll be a high-risk pregnancy because of my age. I'm equal parts thrilled and terrified, but I'm taking it one day at a time.

Henry is over the moon about the baby. I think it's really put things in perspective for him. He's been doting on me non-stop, waiting on me hand and foot. It's sweet, but I've had to remind him that I'm pregnant, not helpless. We've been talking a lot about the future and what kind of parents we want to be. We both agree that we want to raise our child in a loving, respectful home. No more walking on eggshells or tolerating bad behavior from anyone. Which brings me to Levi.

After our big blow-up and him storming out, he couch-surfed with friends for a few weeks. Henry laid down the law and said he couldn't come back until he got a job, agreed to pay rent, and promised to treat me decently. Well, I guess that dose of the real world was the wake-up call Levi needed. He called Henry after a couple of weeks, crying and apologizing for everything. He said living on his own made him realize how much we'd done for him and how awful he'd been. especially to me. I was skeptical at first, but the kid really seems to have turned a corner. He got a full-time job at a warehouse, which he hates, but it's a paycheck. He's been giving us money for rent and groceries without us even asking. And he actually sat me down and gave me a

sincere apology for all the crap he's put me through over the years. I could tell it wasn't easy for him to swallow his pride like that. We had a long talk about why he'd acted the way he did. A lot of it was hurt and anger over his parents' divorce that he unfairly took out on me. He said he knows that's no excuse, and he wants to do better. I told him that I forgive him, but forgiveness doesn't mean a free pass to go back to old habits. He started joining us for dinner a few nights a week, and the atmosphere in the house is so different. There's no more tension crackling in the air. We're actually able to laugh and joke around together.

The other night, he even offered to help me start setting. up the nursery. I know we still have a long way to go, but it feels like a fresh start. I won't lie and say everything is perfect now. Levi still has his moments of teenage moodiness, and Henry, and I don't always see eye to eye. But we're working through it as a family. And me? I'm finally putting myself first. I'm taking care of my body and my baby. I'm leaning on my friends and focusing on the things that bring me joy, like getting the nursery ready. For the first time in a long time, I wake up excited for the future. So that's where things stand. A month ago, I thought my whole world was falling apart. But now, with a baby on the way

and my little family coming together, I've never felt more blessed. To all of you who followed my story and offered support, thank you, truly. Your kindness has meant the world to me. Here's to new beginnings, second chances, and always standing up for ourselves. I'll raise my, non-alcoholic, glass to that. Cheers, friends. I hope you enjoy this story. My father's wife was responsible for a collision that tragically claimed the life of my twin sister,

and she is now repurposing her room for her upcoming baby. I, a 17-year-old female, shared an unbreakable bond with my identical sibling, and did everything together. She was honestly my best friend. Last year in September, my stepmom had to pick us up from a volleyball game. Our dad usually picked us up, but he was out of town. She was an hour late because she forgot about us.

While on the way home, she kept ranting about how we disturbed her nap. Long story short, she ran a stop sign at an intersection. We got into a horrible accident. Most of that night was a blur, but I remember the last few minutes before. the crash. I was hospitalized for weeks, but my twin sister passed away that night. I haven't forgiven my stepmom. She refuses to acknowledge that she was in the wrong. Even though there were eyewitness present, she refuses to accept responsibility for causing the accident. I'm not an angry person. I'm a very calm and not confrontational at all. But I can't even look at her without feeling

like she stole from me. She stole my sister's life away. and she acts like my sister never existed to begin with. One thing that really struck a nerve was when I was out at Walmart with my dad and stepmom. We had to buy something for my younger brother and they started a conversation with an old man. I can't remember exactly what they were talking about, but the old man asked my dad how many kids he had. My dad said he had four kids, but my stepmom corrected him by saying, number three, that just made me really sad. I didn't speak to her the rest of the day. I can't describe how I feel.

I lost my best friend who I shared everything with. My sister knew exactly how I felt about everything because we experienced life together. Now, I constantly feel like I'm a zombie. I often dream about her, but when I wake up and reality hits it absolutely crushes me. Living is unbearable without my sister. Please ignore any spelling errors. For some background, my dad cheated on my mom with my stepmom. They ultimately got divorced, which was really hard on our family.

My mom ended up moving back to her home country in Europe. My twin sister and I had to stay with our dad. I, 17F, live with my dad, my stepmom, and my younger brothers. Last year in September, my twin sister and I had a volleyball game at school. My dad was usually the one who picked us up from our games and practices. But he couldn't that night. My dad was out of town, so our stepmom had to come pick us up. She arrived an hour late because she took a nap and forgot about us.

As soon as we got in the car, she started going on a rant about how we disturbed her nap. Long story short, she ran a stop sign at an intersection. We got into a horrible accident. Most of that night was a blur, but I remember the last few minutes before the crash. I was hospitalized for weeks. but my twin sister passed away that night. I can't describe how I feel. I lost my best friend who I shared everything with.

My sister knew exactly how I felt about everything because we experienced life together. Now, I constantly feel like I'm a zombie. I'm not suicidal, but I often imagine slash think about ending my own life because living is unbearable without my sister. Well, last night, my stepmom made a special dinner for her birthday. After the accident, I stopped eating dinner with the rest of my family. It just feels wrong eating without my sister at the table, so I eat alone in my room.

Well, my dad insisted I eat with them downstairs. I protested, but he begged me. Dinner started off normally. My stepmom announced to my brothers, 8M, 5M, and I that she was pregnant. My brothers were really happy and asked for the gender of the baby. My stepmom excitedly said that it was a girl. My brothers kept talking about they were excited about getting a younger sister. My stepmom mentioned how they could help decorate her nursery.

I looked up and asked her, which room would be the nursery. She excitedly said that she was going to use my twin sister's room. She mentioned how she already started removing things from her room in the morning and putting them in the attic. I asked her why she didn't bother telling me before she went ahead and started moving my sister's stuff. It was a big deal to me because aside from me, no one has been in her room since she's passed. Sometimes when I miss her, I sit in her room to feel closer to her. And some nights, I fall asleep in her room. My stepmom got really defensive. She said that I needed

to accept that she was having a baby and needed the empty room. I told her that I understood that she was pregnant. But a heads-up would have been nice before she started removing things from my sister's She looked at me and said that she didn't need to tell me anything because she was the mother of the household. She said she was doing what was best for the interest of her baby and she didn't need my negativity. I stayed silent trying to tune her out, but I snapped when she mentioned how I needed to accept my sister's death and move on. She said something along the lines of, your twin passed away and you need to accept that. It's hard, but you've got your father, your brothers and I plus, you're getting a new sister who you can build an even stronger relationship with. You need to move on because nothing

will bring, twin sister, back. I knew I was getting angry, so I excused myself and left the table. My dad started yelling about how I was being dramatic and I needed to come back or I'd be grounded. I continued walking away until my stepmom said, I don't understand what her problem is. She couldn't even bother to be happy about my pregnancy, but she's angry about me moving things out of an unoccupied bedroom. I turned around and stared at her in disbelief. My stepmom often acts like twin sister never existed. An example, two months ago, I was at Walmart with my dad and stepmom. We were buying a birthday present for my younger brother and they got into a conversation with an older man. I wasn't paying much attention, but the old man asked my dad how many kids he had.

My dad said he had four kids, but my stepmom responded saying, number three, she does stuff like that all the time, which drives me insane. I started going off on her and she sat there quietly. I mentioned how she's been the cause of every major traumatic event in my life. I reminded her that she knowingly started sleeping with a married man. She knew he had a wife and kids, but she didn't care. She broke up my family, sending my mom into a deep depression. which ultimately lead her to move away. Then I reminded her that she was too preoccupied with ranting about how we disturbed her nap,

which ultimately lead to a car accident that had me hospitalized for weeks. And I lost my twin sister because of her carelessness. I told her that she had no right to just take things out of my sister's room. And I wasn't angry about her new baby, but the fact that she started boxing and removing stuff from my sister's room without even telling me in advance. Then finally I told her that it was cruel of her to tell me to move on from the traumatic death of my twin sister. She argued back that the accident happened and I was living in the past. She said everything happens for a reason and God works in mysterious ways.

I straight up asked her if she thought that my sister's death could not have been avoided. And she responded saying, it was just unlucky I reminded her that my sister would be alive if she wasn't distracted. My stepmom then told me that I make her feel. like I wanted her to die instead. I just stayed silent and she kept asking me if she was correct. I turned to walk away and my stepmom grabbed my arm. I asked her to let go and she kept saying, You want me dead, don't you? I stayed silent again, but she kept repeating it. I eventually got mad and truthfully told her that, my life would have been easier that way. She started crying and my dad called me heartless. I did apologize a few minutes later, but my

My dad snapped and asked me leave my stepmom alone. Since then, my dad has been giving me the silent treatment while my stepmom just avoids me. Ada? Comments where OPP has replied. Popular block 5790, you're definitely NTA. OPP, I'm really sorry for your loss. Your feelings are completely understandable. Your stepmom and dad are huge a-h your stepmom for various reasons including not stopping asking. She shouldn't ask if she didn't want an answer. Your dad because he isn't protecting you and getting you the help you need. Can you talk with your mom about it?

How involved is she? You're still her child. Is there any adult in your life that you trust and can help you? You need a mental health professional. You need tools to move forward. You have every right to be angry and feel what you feel. OOP, yes. my mom is involved in my life. We text every day and try to FaceTime at least twice a week.

But my sister's death was really hard on my mom. My mom's mental health has been rocky for the past 10 years, so I don't want to trigger anything by telling her how bad I'm hurting. A year after my parents got divorced, my grandpa got really sick. He was diagnosed with a terminal illness. My mom decided to go back to Europe to help take care of her dad and spend time with him. She wanted to take my sister and I with her, but my dad fought her in court. Ultimately, we had to stay with our dad in the U.S., but we traveled to France every summer. Even after my grandpa passed, my mom decided to stay in France. She told my sister and I that going back to the U.S. would mentally destroy her.

It was too many negative memories for her and she wanted to stay close to her mom. Aside from my mom and her family, all I've got is my friends. My dad was never close with his family. He's got an older brother that I've never met. And I honestly don't know much about my grandparents. I wanted to look into therapy, but my dad refused. He doesn't believe that it will be helpful and says that it will fill my brain with garbage. He said that if I needed some advice or counseling, I could talk to him or my pastor, which I don't feel comfortable doing.

Elegant underscore underscore dirt underscore underscore 4479 How was she not charged if her running a stop sign caused the death? Oop, she was. She's on probation and I think she also had to pay a fine. Titsmiggy 8,08 your dad is worried therapy will illuminate to you just how awful of a human being and father he is. Do you have a plan to get out once you are an adult? Are you planning on attending college slash university?

When you are 18, can you move to France to be with your mom? If you don't have an escape plan yet, I suggest you work on one. Unfortunately, your dad has proven that nothing, not even the death of his child is enough for him to side with you or fight for you against your stepmonster. Get your necessary documents, passport, birth certificate, social security card, and get a plan in place to leave as soon as you are 18. You are less than a year away, get ready for it and bounce. Boop, thank you so much for the idea of an escape plan.

I have dual citizenship, so I have thought about moving to France a lot. But honestly, I don't think it's a good idea. I can speak French fluently and for the most part one can read it, but I can't write in French. And my vocabulary isn't really expanded if that makes sense. I do really well in casual slash normal conversations, but since I'm only really around my family in France, I don't know bigger slash more professional words. in French. So I'm afraid that might be a problem if I try to find a job there. But I've looked into colleges in my state and toured some with my friends. I've found one that I really like,

so I plan on hopefully being able to attend once I graduate. My dad keeps all of my important documents, so I'll try to find a way to convince him to give them to me. Update, I'm sorry it took so long to get back to everyone, but a lot has happened in the last few months. To start, thank you all for the overwhelming support. I wasn't able to read most of the responses to my last post because I went to sleep after posting it. When I woke up, there was several viral TikTok videos about my situation. I didn't know about any of that, but my stepmom's younger sister saw one of the Reddit videos and sent it to their family group chat. And my stepmom saw the video, and lost it when she read the comments. She took my phone, laptop, and grounded me right after I woke up. When my dad got home,

from work, he backed her up. Her entire family was furious, and my dad got yelled at by her parents. And they tried to force me to take the post down, but I wouldn't give them my phone's password, so there's little they could do about that. They kept calling me insensitive and disrespectful for bringing strangers into a private matter. As a part of my punishment, I wasn't allowed to leave my room. They wouldn't allow me to use my phone or laptop to communicate with my mom at all. They said I could get those privileges back after they deemed that I learned my lesson. A week after everything, my stepmom lost her baby, and she blamed me for it. She said I was causing the entire family too much stress. She just kept yelling at me that I did this to her and she refused to even glance in my

direction. She had a huge argument with my dad about how she wanted me gone. She ended up staying with her parents for the night. And my stepmom even tried to turn my younger brothers against me, and and it worked with the older one. My dad tried to convince me to apologize to her, but I didn't even understand what I would be apologizing for. His wife's pregnancy was already high risk due to many other issues. She has miscarried three babies in the past two years. I don't know anything about her medical health, but I once overheard her talking on the phone about an abnormality she had that caused her to lose her other babies. And I just fell into a really bad place mentally after that. For after everything happened with my family, I tried to take my life. My dad and stepmom went out with my

brothers, and I tried to overdose on binadryl. It was the most painful experience of my life. I didn't fell anything at first, but I eventually passed out. I don't know how long I was out, but when I woke up I started throwing up. I was in so much pain, and could barely move. I can't remember much, but I think I passed out again. And my little brother, found me passed out and covered in vomit, and my dad ended up calling 911. I ended up in the ER. I can't remember everything because it was a blur, but I had to drink activated charcoal, they ran a bunch of test, drew my blood and gave in four. I was hallucinating for hours, and I woke up in a different hospital. I lied to my doctors about everything because I didn't

want to get in trouble, but I was still involuntary sent to a psychiatrist hospital anyways. My dad was against it, but I was there for a little over a week. I got into a lot of trouble for attempting to take my life. My dad didn't speak to me for a week after I came home. While I was gone, my dad read all my journals where I wrote about how much I hated myself, my life and wish my sister was still alive. He also found out that I was hurting myself by reading it. He eventually made me read all the pages out loud to him, my stepmom and my pastor. And my pastor gave me a three lesson on letting go of anger in the past. They also took away my door because I lost that privilege. And my stepmom made it verbally known that she didn't want me there anymore.

My dad told me that he was going to send me to a behavioral camp slash teen residential program for troubled kids since I tried to take my life. I still didn't have any of my electronics back, and they refused to leave me alone for extended periods of time. So I had to stay in the living room all day and could only go in my room when it was time for bed. My dad made me keep my door open while I showered so my stepmom could monitor me. I wasn't allowed to play volleyball this year as a punishment, which really sucked. I just felt so stuck and I knew that I'd be sent away to one of those awful camps. I've heard so many bad stories about them.

So I took my stepmom's iPad in the middle of the night. I was able to call my best friend. I explained everything to her. She told her parents, and they agreed to help me. I packed a few bags, took a bunch of things that remind me of my sister and planned to leave three nights later. I was able to get my birth certificate and social security card because I told my stepmom I needed them for a job interview at our church's daycare. She surprisingly gave them to me. For two nights, my best friend would drive to my house at around 3 a.m. to get some of my things and my sister's old stuff. And then on the third night, I finally found where my dad was keeping my phone and

laptop, so I took them back. And I left with my best friend that night. I don't want to accidentally incriminate anyone, so I can't say too much about what happened the night I left or who I was with afterwards. But my dad tried to press charges on several people, but that went nowhere. He gave up on trying to get me to go home because my stepmom was happy with me gone anyways. It's been three months since I left, I'm happy to say that I'm safe. I haven't heard from my dad or his wife in weeks. And from what I've heard, they're not on good terms. I'm currently staying with my mom's cousin, but once I graduate high school I plan on moving to Europe to be closer to my mom. I turned 18 today, I'm happy that I no longer have to legally see my dad again. Also, thank you

for those who personally messaged me, gave me legal advice or even suggested a look into pursuing a suit against my stepmother. Please excuse any spelling errors. This brought back a lot of negative emotions. Comments where OP has replied. Drunk, Hornet, okay. Read both stories, but where the fuck is your real mom and all this? No calls, emails, texts nothing? She moved to Europe, why can't you move to here and live with her and finish your education there, or even more so, why didn't you move in with her after your twin sister died? Her daughter died. For some background, my dad cheated on my mom with my stepmom.

They ultimately got divorced, which was really hard on our family. My mom ended up moving back to her home country in Europe. My twin sister and I had to stay with our dad. What is this had to stay with your dad thing? At this point as well you are driven to suicide and already moved out, I would have taken the fastest plane ticket and see her because I would need her, and she would need you after one of her daughters died? Well, whatever the case.

Good luck, it's just weird to me, I would rather fail a year of education and start over then life in that household. Oop, it's complicated. My mom and dad divorced when I was eight years old. My mom moved to France a little after my ninth birthday. But before that, they had split custody. My mom tried to get full custody of us because she wanted to take us to France with her. But my dad fought her in court, and he ended up. ended up winning. My dad is significantly wealthier than my mom, so he had better legal presentation

and tried to drag out the process for as long as possible. Ultimately, my dad was awarded full custody of us. And we only got to see my mom during the summer when visited her in France. We still kept in contact with her through calls and text messages throughout the year. After my sister's death, my mom did come to the funeral. She and I pleaded with my dad to allow me to live with her. But he wouldn't allow it, and she didn't have the money to fight him in court. She tried reaching out to his pastor and his family to convince him, but they weren't interested in getting involved. My dad threatened to take legal action against her if she didn't leave his family alone.

And after that, I didn't have regular contact with my mom because she was struggling with her mental health and alcoholism. But she's been to rehab, has been sober now for almost a year and she's in therapy. We talk every day and she's been my first. rock through all of this. She's doing a lot better and came to see me last month for Thanksgiving. And I've been staying with her cousin that's been really nice. I hope you enjoy this story. Had a brief encounter with the man who my ex's partner was unfaithful with. However, I am now expecting a child, he has cut off contact with me, and my entire family has chosen to sever ties

with me. And I met when I was 20 but were only friends until we started dating two and a half years ago. I found out last year that my ex had been cheating on me for basically our whole relationship with a girl he met through a mutual friend. I broke things off after I found out and told the girl's fiancé about their affair. He ended up breaking off their engagement after he found out and she seemed nonchalant about it until she realized that my ex's money wasn't actually his. My grandma left me a lot after she passed back in 2019 and my ex had been flaunting around the things I'd gifted him throughout our relationship to her, even going as far as to claim that the house and antique car my grandpa left for me and his will were my exes. It's not something I'm proud of now that I think

back to it, but I did allow my ex to walk all over me for the first month or two after I broke things off because I missed him so much. I gave him money and tried to make things work, but would always get reprimanded by my parents and friends when I'd run to them crying after he ghosted me for her. I didn't officially give him up until the girl's ex-fiancee messaged me and told me that she was rubbing it in some of their old friends' faces about how pathetic I was and how desperate I was for my ex who didn't even give an F about me. I was really upset and asked him if he'd be willing to meet up with me because I knew that if I talked to my parents or friends about this, then they'd just lecture me even more. He agreed and the two of us met up at a random food cart place. We ended up

spending most of the day just exploring and talking about how we were doing. He'd also confided in me about his relationship with his ex. They'd known each other for 10 years and had liked each other for most of the time they were friends but he wasn't looking for a relationship because he was focusing on school. He had decided to give them a chance after she'd driven 12 plus hours overnight to him because they'd talked on the phone and he said he was feeling under the weather and was stressed from how vigorous his residency schedule was. She'd dropped everything to take care of him, help clean his place, and made him some home-cooked meals after finding out that he was surviving off of vending machine snacks and instant coffee.

He told me in detail about how he'd never felt so loved and cared for, how after she'd done that for him, he'd decided that she was the one, that if this wasn't love, then love wasn't real. Finding out that she was cheating for the last two years made everything click into place, she'd been pushing off getting married, telling all her friends that she was having doubts about him. He'd been trying to convince her into going to couples counseling when I broke the news to him that she was sleeping with my ex. I felt like a monster, hearing their love story and then realizing that they didn't get their happy ending because of my ex and I messed with my head. We continued to talk from time to time, checking in on each other and meeting up for quick bite every now and then, we lost contact after the girl my ex cheated on me with somehow convinced him to take her back. I became slightly depressed after he cut me off, explaining to me that he was still in love with her and wanted to work things out, which met a clean slate. I found out through some internet snooping that my ex cheated on her too, which was why she went back

to her ex-fiance. A few months passed and things went back to semi-normal. I started getting therapy and was about ready to put myself back out there to try out the dating pool again when around New Year's I got a call from the guy, he was crying and asking if I was available to talk. I of course said yes and out of concern met up with him at his place. He broke down to me and told me about how he'd found her and my ex in his mom's guest bedroom during Christmas when she'd snuck him in for a quickie during his family's busy holiday party. All hell broke loose when he'd found them in the guest bedroom after spending 20 minutes looking for her everywhere. We drank a bit and ended up having sex. He apologized and told me that it was a mistake and he wasn't in his right mind, that he just

wanted revenge sex but it didn't make him feel any better after. I tried to message him platonically a few times after to see if he was all right, but he blocked me, so I dropped it and went on with my therapy and life. I went in last week to check with my doctor since I've been getting bad cramps and to get a new prescription refill for my birth control that I used to help with my PCOs. I had to do a usual test to double check for the possibility if I was pregnant and was very surprised when it came back positive. I have been sitting on this new knowledge and have been contemplating on if I should tell him, not tell him, or if I should even keep the pregnancy. My doctor did inform that since I am still in the earlier stages I am still at a big risk of having a miscarriage,

so I don't know if I should even be worrying at all about all of this since there is a chance that I could lose it, and then it had just seemed like I was trying to grab at his attention or something, especially after he'd made it clear to me that he wasn't comfortable talking to me anymore after we slept together. I haven't told anyone and have been going crazy because I don't know what to do. Update 1, a lot has happened since my original post. I know a lot of people were against this, but I went through with the pregnancy and I am forever thankful for my beautiful baby. I had originally planned to get an abortion, but I found myself unable to go through with the appointment. I am pro-choice and always will be. Just because I chose to

keep my baby doesn't mean another woman slash girl should be forced to keep a pregnancy they do not wish to continue. Everyone has a right to their own bodies. My parents were very upset with me and my whole family disown me. I listened to what some of you said about letting the father know, will be referring to him as Dave. After many failed attempts to reach out to him, I decided to go in person. Dave was not happy when I showed up at his place, but when I told him why, he agreed to talk with me. Dave let me know that he'd officially ended things with his ex and wanted to go no contact with me because I was another tie to his past with her, but he was willing to try and figure out a co-parenting plan with me if I agreed to a paternity test first. I have, of course,

course felt a bit bad about the paternity test part, but agreed to it since we both had only been acquaintances that bonded over our trauma. Everything was honestly easy cruising until I started to spot around the 26-week mark. My abjant explained that while spotting is normal while pregnant, mine was heavier and my blood sugar slash blood pressure also both worried them because of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia risk. After a few nights of Dave insisting on sleeping on my couch, I had him help me move some of my things to his place since he lived closer to the hospital. I am very thankful I decided to semi-move in with him when I did BC. I went into premature labor at 32 weeks. I am very thankful to have had Dave and his family as my support system.

His mom would come and switch out with him at the hospital and advocated for me whenever I felt washed out or unheard. She helped me both emotionally and physically and stood by me. Dave's mom also helped me work through my emotions when all I wanted was my mom. She and my dad had gone no contact with me after I decided to keep and have my baby. Dave's mom was an absolute godsend also because she's a retired nurse. She started in OB, went to NICU and eventually later settled into lactation before retiring, and explained things to me when we found out that my baby had respiratory problems and had S-U-A, single umbilical artery.

And that it could have been a factor into why I went into my premature labor. She stayed with Dave and I so she could help me with pumping since I wasn't able to produce milk and encouraged me when I felt like such a failure for not being able to take care of my son when he needed me most. She drove me to and from the hospital while my son was in the NICU because I was healing and so mentally slash physically exhausted. I really and truly believe that I didn't fall into deep postpartum depression because she held me and helped me with each step and was always so patient with me, even when I wasn't with myself. Dave's mom would constantly remind me that nothing was our fault and no one did anything wrong,

it's just that everyone is faced with hardships in life and this was one we'd work together to get through. My son graduated from the NICU and came home a month after I did. Dave's mom visited us often and helped with him since Dave and I are first-time parents. Dave's dad joked that he felt like she and I had the baby together and he and Dave were both just background characters that make guest star appearances every now and then since Dave was working so much in order to build more PTO and his mom wouldn't bring his. Dad along when she'd come visit since she didn't want him to disturb me and the baby with his loudness.

Dave's dad is hard of hearing and can sometimes be unaware of his volume so he took no offense to it. Dave's siblings and family members posted a lot about our son because he was the first grandchild and first baby in a long time. Dave's youngest cousin is 17, turning 18. this year. Somehow someone must have shared a photo or something, but pictures of us reached my family and my parents demanded I let them meet my son. Dave was supportive of whatever I chose to do and said he'd agree to them meeting him if that's what I wanted. After thinking about it for a few days, I decided that I wanted to talk to my parents before I let them meet my son. When we met up to talk,

my parents were offended that I didn't bring my son with us and left him with Dave's parents. They said some really hurtful things and then my dad started to question on when Dave was going to ask him for permission for us to get married since we didn't already have a shotgun wedding while I was pregnant. I was okay with them insulting me since I'd grown up with it and was used to it, but once my parents put their target on Dave and his family I became upset and decided it was time for us to leave. My parents did try to petition for legal visitation rights, honestly. Before this whole ordeal, I did not even know that grandparents' rights existed. But we're denied because my son is still very young and because both Dave and I are very much on good terms, are living in the same household, and they couldn't find or prove that there was any danger to our son's well-being. My family did try to reach out to us and claim that we were horrible people for denying my parents their grandchild. But no one ever seemed to be able to make a peep when Dave's family would defend us and point out that my family had been the one to disown me and that no one cared to see if I was okay until after I had the baby and everything was handled. Dave's mom and my mom got in a verbal, almost physical, altercation after my mom had made false reports to CPS and called the police to do multiple welfare checks on us. My mom was given a warning by the police for harassing us after one specific incident where she

threw a tantrum and caused a scene when the police found nothing wrong in the welfare check and refused to listen to her demands to have my son temporarily taken away from us and put in her custody for his safety. Dave and I currently have restraining orders pending against my parents and certain family members. One of the reasons I decided to update is because about two months ago a friend of Dave's asked him out to have some drinks and they ran into his ex-fiancee who later messaged him to tell him that she regretted the way they ended and how she was. Very hurt when she heard that we had a baby together, especially with it being so soon after

their relationship. Dave wouldn't talk to me about how he felt, and when I asked him he just brushed me off or switched the conversation onto a topic about our son that he knew would distract me. I noticed Dave pulling away from me and how our relationship became a bit awkward and strained after their run-in and her message because I know he still has feelings for her and I am afraid that he might feel trapped with me and our son. I also noticed that the drama with my family has made Dave and his family less patient with me and my son. During Mother's Day I overheard a few of his family members make comments to Dave about me being at their family barbecue since I was just my son's mom and not really part of the family. Dave just shrugged and said I didn't have anyone else to spend the day with. With how tense things have been, I have been thinking about moving out and back into my place.

I stayed with Dave at his place after I gave birth, but now that our son is slightly older and I am healed. I want to give Dave back some space so that he can start dating again if he wants to and to give him back some more bachelor time when I have our son. I want to find a way to approach me moving out and thus making a co-parenting plan without making things more awkward or possibly ruining the relationship I have with Dave and his parents. I don't want them to feel like I'm not grateful or anything. But I do want to go back to work and get my life back on track so that I can provide my portion of needs from my son

and not want to depend on his family for more than appropriate. Update 2, I've been trying my best to not check my phone or Reddit since I'm honestly a little overwhelmed right now. I will let you all know that I did talk to Dave and he was against me moving out. He also wasn't willing to talk about the situation what how he's been acting after running into his ex and said I was bringing up something that didn't matter since we were talking about me wanting to move out.

I haven't said anything about what I heard during Mother's Day and I don't think I'm going to mention it since I feel really bad that it was meant to be a private conversation so I don't think anyone meant anything bad. During our conversation, Dave, let me know that maybe I'm just overthinking or overreacting and that I shouldn't make big decisions like moving out. He also talked about how because our son, is a pre-me he'd prefer if one of us was a stay-at-home parent until he turned two to three years old

so he could catch up with his peers and then once he started pre-k then we could go back to work again. But I feel like he's been trying to avoid me since the conversation, but I could also me overthinking like he said. But after reading someone comments, I do feel like I'm valid in the way I feel, but I am also not sure anymore. I want to do what's best for my son. I know people already think I'm so dumb and that I shouldn't have had him, but I am trying to be better for my son. I'm I feel like he's my only family left and I really want to try to do what's best for him. Next story, BFF tricked me into a blind date with a guy who's been obsessed with me for years after my husband passed away.

He said now that my husband's not a problem he could raise my baby. Hello everyone. I just really need some clarity on this situation. I 23F lost my husband 25M weeks ago to a car accident. He was the love of my life and I'm still. still not used to waking up without him every day. We have big plans for our future and it all came crashing down in a heartbeat. We met on his uncle's farm. He was a farm hand and it was love as first sight for me. I'm also four months pregnant but I haven't told anyone. I was planning on telling my

friend my friend Lee 24F has been my shoulder to cry on during this time. She helped me with his funeral and anything else I needed as I'm NC with my bio family story for another. time. She is currently dating Barry 24M. They usually hang out in a trio with Liam 24M. When I first met Liam, he hit on me hard tried everything as in would try and compare himself with my husband say weird things like our kids would be cuter than if you had kids with my husband. He's also made weird comments like I need a city boy and would motion himself. When I'm a country girl through and through, I typically would shut him down or ignore him, but I would always get dirty looks from Barry.

Skip to Sunday night, I got a message from Lee begging me to come to dinner with her because she wanted to treat me as I had been through a lot in the last couple of weeks. Feeling not so shit about myself I decided to go. When I arrived she wasn't there, so I texted her asking how long she would be and she told me five minutes she's just running late and is around the corner, so I just sat down and ordered a drink now five minutes comes and she's still not there so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and waited another five. When I'm about call her Liam comes rushing over and gives his apologies for being late, I asked him

what's he doing here because I'm waiting for Lee and it was a two-chair table. He smiles at me and grabs my hand. I ripped it off of him and he just says, oh, I asked Lee to set us up now that husband's name isn't a problem we can finally get to know each other. He looks so cringy and I'm telling you I was floored. I stood up and told him that I wasn't interested and I certainly don't give a flying fuck about getting to know him. And that I just lost my husband without a word of a lie this man stands up and said, I know you're being overly emotion right now, so we'll forgive you for that. Sit down with me. I'm not saying we have to have sex straight away or anything I was disgusted. I shoved past him and went home as fast as I could when I did get home. Lee messaged me Sue How. Was dinner with a smirk emoji I called her and when she answered I didn't let her get a word

and I yelled at her asked her how she has the audacity to do something like this week's after I just lost my husband when she's been the one to hold me together this whole time I asked her what fucking game was she playing and that the only reason I wanted. To meet tonight with her was to tell her I'm pregnant I just hung up on her and texted her I need time and don't want to be contacted by her for the time being last night Barry came to my house and asked to talk I said no and that if he didn't leave it call the police he told me that I broke Lay's heart and that I deeply hurt Liam when now isn't Even better time to get to know Liam because he could raise my child with me, I opened my door which Barry took as I wanted to talk. Instead, I hit him with my shoes and chased him to his car screaming I'm actually embarrassed. I did that all day to day I'm being flooded with messages from friends and the trio themselves shaming me for pushing the people who care about me the most away and that they don't even recognize the person I've become the only thing that hurts me

most is that my husband would know what to do he would tell me how to fix it and now I have no one who I can talk to. I'm just so numb inside. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow. but I'm thinking of calling my husband's mom. Even though we've barely spoken since the funeral any advice is appreciated, please exude any typos. I'm just so exhausted I have a small update on another post comments where op has replied comment or one very weird and inappropriate people

you have as so-called friends go and see with them just you call your mother-in-law she'll be thrilled about. The baby that's your support system and join a grief therapy group. If there is one local to you, it's okay to be numb, it's normal to be numb when life cracks you upside the head this hard-up thank you I just feel so wrecked at the minute. and I have joined a grief group in the city. I'm trying to grip enough courage to actually go up on the friends.

Thinking she needs to get over her husband's death, they think I should go out with Liam to get over my husband. I personally am in no way to be jumping into a relationship, let alone having a new family. Thank you for your advice comment or two. These three are absolute shit humans. Did they absolutely hate your late husband or something lose the? Three of them I can't even comprehend the audacity that would make them think any of their behaviors was appropriate up. Lee used to have a crush on my husband. She knew him because her brother used to play football with my husband other than that Barry and Liam hated him because they think people from the country are stuck up rednecks, thank you. For your comment, comment or three,

are you uber rich or very, very attractive because I can't understand why these people are pushing so hard to see you with a man again, Oop Lee is the kind of woman who can't be single I hope that explains her point of view update October 30th, 24, hello, all and thank you, I just wanted to start off with I called my. Mill Louise, after making the post, I thought that I needed to tell her about baby because just like some of you said she is overjoyed about the news she didn't answer my call, but instead drove straight over to my house. I honestly didn't know what to say to her, but we just hugged and cried all night. I didn't have the best delivery about how I am. Pregnant probably due to all the crying, but she just light up and was so happy it's the first time

I've seen her be this happy and all the time I've known her, so at least I have some support my Phil came over when he finished work after Mill told him he needed to come to my house and he was too overjoyed about becoming a pop Louise offered to have. The baby and I move in and I agreed she said that I can sleep in my husband's old room which was a little bittersweet when I told her what was going on with Lee Liam and Barry she was furious and told me not to worry about it because they Mill and Phil have my back after a lot of even more crying Phil told me that my husband would be so happy to. Have this baby grow up on a farm like my husband did over all our conversations last night was a something I needed now I'm just going to answer some comments one no this isn't fake and

if you choose top believe that then that's fine, but don't be dragging my husband when you don't even know him Liam didn't kill my husband. It was a car accident and my husband died on impact. Nothing crazy went on. It's just awful but as as simply as that too Lee was my friend for a long time. She was genuinely there for me when I went NC with my parents and I thought she was a decent friend now knowing the truth. There is many things I can think of that. She did that are red flags personally I think I ignored. Them because I have never been close to anyone like that other than my husband three Liam is a loser and from my chat with Barry I learned that he's always had feelings for me and he's never given up because apparently

he's my type he isn't and never will be four yes I ordered a drink I didn't think I needed to disclose that I ordered a lemonade. It was simply a soda nothing wild I know I'm pregnant and it never do anything silly five I'm not magically pregnant my husband and I both wanted children young and we're trying for about a year we just didn't disclose that we were trying because my husband and I think it's weird telling people though we're having sex an extra amount I don't know But my husband and I are very private people and kept a lot of it that way, and as for the trio I've blocked them, none of my family are reaching out because they simply don't know me anymore. The only friends who are reaching out are mutuals of either Lee Barry and one of Liam's other friends I was confused on if I want an asshole because I just. Left Liam standing there and yelled at Lee, I was so upset I was confused on the entire thing, but thank you all and I will update on what happens because I know Liam will not give up until he's in jail.

I seriously hope is doesn't come to that but the fact he drove past my house twice is uneasy, so I'm hopeful the move to husband's parents' farm will. Have my baby and myself on a better path. I hope you enjoy this story. Elders presented me with a journey to Paris, but my guardians compelled me to hand it over to my favorite sibling. She collided with her ride-hailing vehicle on the route to the terminal. So I stole the ticket back and went anyway.

Hey, so I, 18F. was recently given an international trip to Rome and a check to cover my expenses there by my paternal grandparents on my birthday as a gift. They handed me an envelope with the flight ticket contained within it and the very next day, my parents started manipulating me to give it up to my sister. My older sister, June 21F, is the golden child of the family, in case you guys haven't figured it out by now. My parents started telling me that June is an architecture major, so a trip to Rome could be just what she needed during her vacation to improve her understanding and get to see better architectural designs in person. I tried to argue with them, saying that I planned on majoring in literature, so the trip to Rome was pretty important for me as well.

June already had a chance on her 18th birthday, but she had rejected an international trip when my grandparents had offered it and said that she would rather just have the money that it would cost. So now, it was my turn and I was not giving it up for her. Besides, from what I know, the airline that I was flying doesn't even offer an option to transfer your flight tickets from one person to another unless in very dire circumstances. But they told me not to worry about that, they just needed the ticket and then they would figure out a way ahead on their own. This argument carried on for several days after my birthday and it's been two weeks since my birthday, so eventually I just gave in and told them that they were free to do whatever they wanted. It was not because I wanted to give up the international trip.

I was actually really looking forward to it, but it didn't seem worth it to keep fighting with them and I knew that they would not give up until I agreed to their terms. And they had pretty much started emotionally blackmailing me, bringing up everything that they had done for me and in return, they were only asking me for a little favor. I thought it was really unfair of them and initially, I argued with them, but a couple of days back, they made a remark out of frustration, saying that they did not want the trip to go to waste and I found that very hurtful. They tried to backpedal pretty quickly, but they had already said it. So apparently, they believed that if I went on the trip it would be wasted, but if June did, it would mean something. My parents tried to make it seem like they had only made this statement because June had already graduated and a trip to Rome would look good on her resume, I don't understand how,

and whereas I would always have a lot of time in the future to go on such trips unlike June, who would have to start working in a couple of months. So I decided to give up the ticket and let them have at it. I just didn't want the drama of dealing with the same arguments over and over again. At least I would still have the check. Besides, I was kind of used to this kind of treatment right from when I was a kid so I wasn't surprised. I also really did not think that the tickets were transferable, according to the airline guidelines that I had gone through, so I didn't think that they would be able to do much, but I guess they had figured out a way to bypass those rules and that's why. When I was supposed to leave for the airport yesterday, June ended up taking my boarding pass and was on her way to the airport when we received a phone call from the cops, saying that there had been an accident involving June, and they had to bail her out now.

Apparently, June had tried to take control of the steering wheel while the cab driver was driving to guide him because she didn't think he was taking the right route to the airport, and out of fear of getting delayed, she made that stupid little move. So, of course, they ended up losing control of the car and crashed into a tree. June was relatively unscathed apart from a few scratches here and there, but the cab driver was seriously hurt because it was his side of the car that had hit the tree and suffered the worst impact. So we might be looking at a broken arm at a really deep cut on the forehead, for which he had to get a lot of stitches. He has pressed charges against June for causing that accident, so now my parents have to dip into their life savings to bail her out if they want to come to a settlement with the cab driver and prevent this from going to trial. and when I heard about this, I couldn't control myself and the words just came out. I ended up saying that this was karma for my parents, forcing me to give up my ticket and trip to Rome.

This happened yesterday, they had just explained the entire situation to me and were leaving to go see June and as soon as I said those words. I regretted it instantly because they looked shocked and said that this was not something that I should be joking about. I tried to take it back, but they said that words had meaning and once I had said it, I couldn't just take it back. can expect things to be fine. Now, they knew that I was very selfish and that's why I'd said this about my sister getting into an accident. That pissed me off because I thought it was really hypocritical of them to say such things, especially when they themselves had said that they didn't want the trip to go to waste since that's what they believed would have happened if I went on it. I brought that up, but they told me that they were not even going to dignify that with a response after the remark that I

had made and then left to go see June at the hospital. At that point, I was really pissed off so as a spur of the moment decision, I decided to get a cab and head to June as well because it suddenly occurred to me that I was throwing away this trip for no reason because no matter what I did, my family would never value me or appreciate me. Might as well have them hate me and live my life the way I want. I quickly packed a small bag with my essentials and some clothes. Then I got my ride, followed them in the cab and once we were at the hospital, my parents, and I almost showed up within minutes of each other on the floor. where the cab driver was, and June was still talking to the cops and trying to explain how none of this was her fault, even though it totally was. But I was not there to talk to her. I went up to her and asked her if she still had the boarding

pass and she looked very confused and disoriented so I just grabbed her purse and started looking through it myself, and when I found the boarding pass, I just grabbed it and made a run for it back to the cab, leaving everybody confused. Then, I headed to the airport and thankfully, I was able to make it just in the nick of time. I boarded my flight and then, I was off to Rome. I didn't check my phone for any calls and messages until I landed here and only a couple of hours ago did I find out exactly how pissed my family is at me.

My parents, obviously, think that I had been extremely insensitive because June had just been in a terrible accident that she herself had caused but they seemed to gloss over that fact every time and all I cared about was my trip. And June is pissed because she thinks that I stole this opportunity from her, even though it was she who stole this from me in the first place. If anything, I'm just reclaiming what was mine and had been stupid enough to give it away. Anyway, the general consensus is that what I did was not the right thing to do so I need to

apologize to them, but I don't know if I really should. June also sent me a message saying that my parents were going to have to depend on their savings to come to a settlement with the driver and I knew that my family's financial condition was not that great. So instead of frolicing in Rome, I could have saved the money and handed my parents the check that was given to me on my birthday, but I was just being plain selfish. So Ida for taking off to Rome after my sister got into an accident? Edit, hi, so there are a lot of questions that people have and I'll answer them so it's easier for you guys to understand the situation. First and foremost, what was up with the boarding pass? Well, I really don't think that my parents or June

were able to figure out a way to bypass the rules about the transfer of tickets from one person to another. I think her plan was to just get to the airport and wing it or something because if they had managed to be able to do something about it, I wouldn't have been able to board with my passport since they would have required June. So, I think they didn't even have a plan in the first place, which turned out to be lucky for me. Now, why did I continue to live with my family if they have always treated me badly? Why didn't I just go and live with my grandparents or literally anybody else? Well, you need to understand that this is the kind of treatment that I have been used to ever since I was a child. I'm not saying that it makes it fine all of a sudden, but my parents' preference for my sister used to make me feel like I needed to do better to win them over, not that they should have treated me better in any case.

It was a strange and self-sacrificial way of thinking, I can't explain it, but that's just what I used to believe. So I spent the past 18 years of my life trying to be the best daughter to them so they would finally like me and it led to a lot of disappointment, heartbreak, and frustration for me, but I never wanted to give up. I was a fool to believe that they would eventually come around since they were still my parents, but that's just how a child's mind works. Also, my grandparents don't live here. They live way outside of the city, away from everything that I have ever known. I didn't want to change my lifestyle, it had occurred to me many times that I would be better off living with them. They also don't know how my parents treat me, I don't think anybody in my family does because we are pretty good at hiding

it when we are amongst people. Anyway, that's why I did not ever consider leaving my family behind. But, I think I will do that because I'm an adult now, I don't think that I need to please anybody anymore. Coming to my relationship with June. All I can say is we have never been particularly close. I don't hate her and neither does she have anything against me, we just don't get along and that's it. As for my family's financial condition, we are not really rich. In fact, I would say that we are at the lower end of the spectrum since my mom is a psalm and my dad is a high school football coach. They rely on my grandparents for money quite often. I don't know how they're going to tackle this situation though since if they want money from my grandparents, they are going

to have to fess up to what they did. So they're That's how it is with my family. And a lot of you guys were asking me why June was sitting in the passenger seat of the cab anyway, and I really don't have an answer for that. It's just out of habit, I guess. Because even when we, as a family, used to go on road trips and stuff, she would always sit in the passenger seat. That's her spot, I guess.

But yeah, she always sits in the passenger seat and I think it might be because she's a bit of a control freak. I mean, she literally grabbed the steering wheel of the car because she thought a cab driver wouldn't know the right way to the airport and would drive her right into traffic. She thought she knew better than him, which is what caused the accident. So you can imagine the degree to which she needs to be in control. She even left for the airport almost five hours before the flight was supposed to take off. Make of that what you will. Update one, hey, so I thought about it for a couple of days and I decided to just let loose and enjoy my trip because it's unlikely that I'll get an opportunity like this for the next couple of years after I start college. I don't need to worry about my parents or

back home. They're all adults and they can take care of this themselves. Besides, it's not my fault that they decided to stake a claim to what was not theirs originally and ended up getting hit back by karma in the process. You were right, it was foolish of me to expect them to be grateful for my sacrifice. They would still always hate me, and I don't need to give up on my fun for that. Anyway, I'm currently living it up in Rome and having the time of my life. I spoke to my grandparents this morning as well, and I explained the entire situation to them, which is the first time I have spoken to anybody about what I go through at home. Not even my friends knew about the mistreatment that I used to face my parents and how they were always partial to my sister and

talking about it felt really good. Most of you guys had this advice for you. from me, that I should speak up about this and let somebody know. So I decided to tell my grandparents and they were both shocked that this was going on for so long and I had never had a word about it. I explained to them I always thought that I kept my mouth shut and kept trying to be a good daughter to my parents. They would eventually be grateful for me and appreciate me, but it was more than clear to me now that this would never happen.

They told me that I had done the right thing and said that after I came back from my trip to Rome, I was supposed to go straight to them and nowhere else. They said that they were going to arrange for me to move out of my parents' house and start living with them instead and when I told them that I would have to move out for college in the fall. They told me that I wouldn't have to worry about it because the college that I had picked was out of state and they said that they were going to bear all the expenses for that. So I guess just one conversation with my grandparents was all that I needed to absolutely fix my life. Because now, I don't even have to worry about where I'm going to live once I finally get back since I pissed my parents off real bad and I think it's unlikely. that they will be welcoming me back with open arms. My parents had already made it clear to me in the beginning,

when I had started applying to colleges, that they would not be able to pay for my tuition, even though they had done it for June. They actually used that as an excuse, saying that they had already covered the expenses for one daughter to go to college, but I would have to take care of myself on my own. And now, I don't even have to worry about that.

So I'm pretty happy with how things have turned out, and within a week, I'll be back home, but now, I will definitely be living a better life as compared to earlier. Update 2, hi, so my trip came to an end a couple of days ago and now, I'm living with my grandparents. Just as they had instructed me too, I went over to their place as soon as I had landed here, and I was pretty surprised to see that they already had the guest room set up for me to stay, and all the things from my parents' house had been moved here. Once I came back and they welcomed me warmly, my grandparents told me that after my conversation with them,

where I had told them everything, they had gone to confront my parents. They were supposed to meet anyway, because my parents had called them up on the evening that the accident with June had taken place and they had called them over so they could discuss what to do and how to go ahead because my parents really did not want to dip into their savings for the money for the settlement. And they definitely did not want this to go to trial because then, June would be in real trouble because there was dash cam footage to prove that she had caused the accident. And an out-of-court settlement is the only way to go for them. But the cab driver was apparently demanding an incredibly high amount and they needed my grandparents to help them out here.

But when they met, my grandparents brought up the situation with me first and asked my parents if it was true that they had been treating me badly all my life and had even asked me to give up my trip so June could go, in my place. At first, they apparently tried to skirt around the question by saying that they were here to discuss the situation with June and how to get her out of trouble, and I was in Rome having the time of my life, so it seemed unnoticed. to talk about these things. But my grandparents insisted on talking about me because they wanted to get to the bottom of this and eventually, my parents just snapped and said that it was true, but I had proved that this was exactly the kind of treatment that I deserved by abandoning my family in their time of trouble. Apparently, my parents had said that I had only shown up at the hospital to grab my flight

tickets so I would be able to make it in time for my trip, without caring about what June or even what they were going through. They said that I had always been jealous of June because she said. had been better than me at every single thing and I couldn't stand it, so that was really not their fault. They claimed that they had never treated me unfairly, which was a huge lie. My parents said that I was just being entitled and spoiled, and they were no longer going to entertain it when I came back. That was all that my grandparents needed to hear to make up their minds about cutting off their only son. My grandparents and parents got into an argument over this and my parents ended up telling

them that they were free to leave and said that they didn't need their help anymore, since they were actually supporting my selfish behavior. They also said that they didn't want me back so if my grandparents wanted to take me with them, they were more than welcome to do that as well. So my grandparents eventually got people to pack all the things in my room and move my stuff to their house, so I could make myself comfortable. After my grandparents told me about whatever had happened with my parents, I ended up crying because it just hurt. I had always known that my parents couldn't care less about me, but they were all that I had known for the past 18 years and my heart was broken. I literally pray that nobody else has to go through crap like this, but anyway,

my grandparents were there for me all along and I'm really very grateful for that. Anyway, now I'm not confused, I'm going to be living with them and this is my home now. I'll definitely be going to college in a couple of months, but until then, my grandparents have promised to be there with me and even when I'm off to college, they have said that I have nothing to worry about since they're going to cover all my expenses. I have had no contact with my parents or June after I came back and I hadn't even checked the last couple of messages that they had sent me because I was trying to make the best of my trip.

So I finally checked them today, since I thought I was in a better place mentally and I'm so glad that I did not check these messages earlier because then, I definitely would have had another mental breakdown. June's messages were all along the same lines, I'm selfish and entitled, and I'm spoiled and she's glad that she won't have anything to with me at this point on earth because I don't deserve her company anyway. I think she got that a little bit twisted, I think she's the one who doesn't deserve my company, but whatever, it doesn't even matter to me. It's really my parents that hurt me more than anything else, but at this point, I don't

even feel surprised at the things they say to me. My parents sent me a couple of messages saying that what I had done was incredibly heartless and they should have stopped me the second that I showed up at the hospital, but it was their failure that they had not managed to raise me right and then. I slipped through their hands even at the hospital when I made a run for it so I could go on the trip. My family was such a difficult situation. I did not respond to that message. They sent been treated, even though my parents had always done everything in their power to make sure that I had a comfortable life. I guess my parents don't understand that having a comfortable life is very different from having a good childhood. They said that they sent me to school,

fed me, clothed me and I had a roof over my head at all times. There was really nothing more that I could have asked for but in spite of all of that, I was still cribbing about how I was treated by my parents. They said that just because I was jealous of June, I couldn't make them out to be the villains because that was simply unfair. And then, they said that they were right about calling me a waste because that's all I really was. I had wasted their time and energy for so many years and now, they were finally glad to be rid of me. That really got to me and I almost cried about it. But I had promised myself after speaking to my grandparents that I was not going to let their harsh words get to me anymore because it's just not worth it. So I didn't cry, but I did block

my parents so that they wouldn't be able to have any access to me anymore. Hopefully, I'm going to start my healing journey and get over this eventually because I really think after all the trauma that they have caused me, I seriously need to move on and erase every trace of them from my brain completely if I want to live my best life. I don't know if that's actually possible, but it's worth a try. Update 3, so the funniest and craziest thing happened today. It's been close to two weeks since I returned from my trip and so far, I have had absolutely no idea what's been going on with my parents in June. But I'm assuming that they are still struggling to come up with the money so they can have an out-of-court settlement with the cab driver because this afternoon,

my parents showed up at my grandparents' house and they were in a vengeful mood. Thankfully, they did not even acknowledge my existence when I opened the door and walked right past me to go to the living room and sit down with my grandparents. I had no idea what to do when I was lurking around the living room, but my grandparents told me to sit down with them. They knew that my parents would not be too happy about this decision of including me in the conversation, and I could see it on their faces. but if they were pissed about it, they did not say anything. Anyway, as soon as we were all seated, my grandparents asked them what they were there for.

Since the last time that they had spoken to each other, my parents had made it very clear that they wanted nothing to do with them because they had been supporting my decisions. My parents said that they were still going to stick to that, but before they cut each other off entirely, they had some scores to settle, and then. They brought out a document with a bunch of calculations on it and said that there was a huge amount money that they had spent on raising me and since my grandparents had so graciously taken over the duties of parents. They expected themselves to be absolved and said that they wanted all the money that they had spent on me so far to be paid to them by my grandparents now. They were the ones

who were responsible for me. I was shocked that they were here to make such a ridiculous demand and all I could do was just look at them because I had no words for how low this was. I could tell that this was just a way to make us all feel small because they were demanding almost $120,000 it was just crazy. But then, my grandparents said that they just needed a moment to themselves in private and left the room to discuss this between themselves. There was a very awkward silence because it was just me and my parents in the living room and they refused to acknowledge me in any way whatsoever. They didn't even look at me and I found it very awkward, but, thankfully, after a couple of minutes, my grandparents were back. They took their seats, my grandpa,

tried to be as calm and polite as possible and said that it was true that they were claiming responsibility and they would gladly repay the amount that my parents had spent on me so far. I was about to interrupt because I thought it was very unfair that they were even asking for this kind of money since it was not something that they had done as a favor to me. They were my parents and they were supposed to raise me. They had only done their duty and even then, they had done the bare minimum so they did not deserve even one dollar out of my grandparents. But my grandparents told me to interrupt, and then, they went on to say that they would repay this amount, but only on one condition, that my parents repay all the money that they had borrowed from my grandparents over the

years. And that had my parents absolutely stumped, I could see on their faces that they had been owned and I thought it was very funny because they looked like deer caught in headlights, so I had to leave the room because I wanted to laugh so bad at them. After that, I didn't come back down from my room until my parents had already left, and when I asked my grandparents what it happened after they left the room, they told me that my parents had tried to argue their way out of this, but there was no way that they could do anything. So eventually, they just ended up cursing out all of us and left in a huff. Which is just so typical of them, but anyway, I don't think they will be back anytime soon after this stunning humiliation. And even if they come back, I don't think

it'll be a problem for anyone since my grandparents have proven that they are more than capable of handling them on their own. The fact that my father is their only son is not. going to make them go soft on them, and I'm going to be off to college in a couple of months anyway. So I'm honestly just looking forward to that and yeah, going on the trip to Rome was probably the best decision that I could have made. I hope you enjoy this story. I follow a plant-based diet, but I mentioned to my partner that I could consume animal products while on my business trip to Japan. However, he became emotional and ended our relationship because I refused to eat meat. with him for years. I, 34F, have been vegetarian for about four years. My boyfriend, 34M, is a meat lover.

He is an excellent cook and he loves steak and other types of meat. He's never asked me to start eating meat. I have never asked him to stop eating meat. I don't care what he eats, it's 100% his, and everyone else's choice. I don't talk about being vegetarian, don't promote it, and I try to figure out my own food if I need to so I don't inconvenience others. Sometimes it's hard to find a restaurant with a vegetarian choice besides a side salad, so I'll do the legwork to find a restaurant everyone will like. My choice to be vegetarian hasn't seemed to be an issue or cause any big inconvenience. But maybe I'm wrong.

When I went on vacation with my boyfriend's family for a week, his mom revised her risotto recipe to use veggie broth instead of chicken broth so I could eat it. I didn't ask, I think my boyfriend suggested it to her. I was really appreciative. When my boyfriend and I went on vacation for a week, we both looked up restaurants that would have a veg option for me. We mostly ate at seafood places because of where we were vacationing, and I managed to find a veggie burger or something like that at most places.

My take, I have a work trip to Japan coming up soon. I told my boyfriend I was considering eating meat during that week so I can fully experience the culture and food. That means sushi, wagu, ramen, things like that. I'm not sure if I can actually get myself to eat meat during the trip because I think I'll feel guilty about it. My choice to be veg is because I feel bad for how animals are raised, treated, farmed, and the nature of how they're usually killed. I know I can get humanely raised meat but I choose to abstain altogether. I miss sushi and steak the most, but again, I abstain. My boyfriend's take. he is upset that I would consider breaking vegetarianism for this week-long trip,

but I wouldn't consider breaking vegetarianism to have a steak with him. It makes him feel like he's not worth it. It makes him feel like the trip and the co-workers I'm going on the trip with are more important than him. I know he bonds over sharing food with people. He likes to cook for other people, and he's never been able to cook a steak for me and we've never been able to share a steak dinner together. We've gone to steakhouses before, but I just eat whatever else they have. It's not the same as us both enjoying a steak.

He also said that all the effort to accommodate me being vegetarian seems like a waste now, his mom going out of her way to make the risotto without chicken broth, looking up restaurants where I can eat something besides a salad. Him cooking stir fry or other dishes and leaving the meat separate on the flat top grill until I serve myself the veggies and then after that he combines it all together with the meat, things like that, me not being able to enjoy the best shrimp he's ever had on our vacation together. He was to the point of tears over us not being able to eat a steak together. I understand it would make him feel bad that I'd consider eating meat on the trip,

but I haven't offered to eat a steak with him. I feel terrible for making him feel this way and making him feel less important or less worthy. I apologized for this and apologized for making him feel this way. I told him that's not it. It's not that he's not worthy, that this trip is probably once in a lifetime and I'm afraid that if I have a steak here at home with him I'm concerned it'll become a slippery slope. I told him I don't want to stop being vegetarian. How do I navigate this? Editing to add, when he told me how he felt about this I listened, apologized for making him feel so poorly, and validated him. I understand why he feels bad,

and I should have thought about how this might go before I said it, that I'm considering eating meat on the trip, out loud. During the conversation I thanked him for telling me how he was feeling and thanked him for telling me how important that would be to him. So I offered to have a steak with him, and I also let him know I don't want it to become a regular thing because I prefer to stay vegetarian, or mostly vegetarian, I guess, since having steak with him wouldn't be vegetarian. I know sharing meals together is important to him. It's also important to me. What I did not know, however, is that he was so badly wanting to have a steak together where I eat it too. When he cooks meat, I always comment on how good it looks and smells, and he has said

before, I wish you could taste this. In hindsight, that comment from him was probably hinting at him wishing I'd offered to eat a steak with him. He hasn't asked me, hey, can you please eat a steak with me tonight or would you ever consider eating meat with me or for me? If he asked me those questions and I said no, and then I said I'm considering eating meat in Japan, that would be a different conversation. I haven't rejected him that way, but I also haven't offered to eat steak with him either until this conversation came up. I didn't know this specific thing was something he wanted so badly. I thought because he eats meat as much as he wants and we eat many meals together that he was satisfied in this area. We've never been to a vegetarian restaurant together. I try to make my

vegetarianism as small as possible. I don't want it to be a thing. I bring food to his house. I get a side salad or kids grilled cheese at restaurants that don't have any other veg options. I don't make it a big deal, I completely understand why he feels bad. That's not what this post is about. I'm just wondering how to best move forward. I also just told him I was considering eating meat on that trip without thinking about it first. I didn't think about how he'd feel, he'd feel slighted, I didn't think about how I'd feel, I'd feel guilty and anxious about the thought of actually going through with eating meat, etc.

When we talked about it, I brought up that I'll have to slowly incorporate meat into my diet leading up to us having a steak together or to going to Japan if I choose to eat meat on that trip. I know that's a thing. Considering how anxious I feel about actually thinking more about going through with eating meat, I think it's best for me to just not eat meat on the trip. But now I still have to figure out how to address the topic with my boyfriend because now I know he wants me to eat stake with him, and I offered to do that for him. Thanks for all the feedback, everyone. Update, October 30th, 2024. Here's what happened. This is going to be really long.

During the two weeks leading up to me leaving for Japan, we got into a couple big arguments, and about five days before I left he told me he can't do it anymore. He can't take all the arguing, he's exhausted, I don't take responsibility for the things I'm doing wrong, and all I do is focus on what he's doing wrong. I don't talk enough about the things that I need to fix about myself, I don't talk about my insecurities enough, and I don't take enough responsibility for the ways I communicate poorly and how that makes us fight. A little more context about the arguments. Argument 1. We had a talk one Sunday about how I was feeling. He could tell I was down, and I told him I was feeling lonely. He asked how else I've been feeling lately and I shared that I've

also been conflicted about some work stuff and some family and friend stuff. We didn't talk about the loneliness, just about the other things. He went into solution mode and was emotionless about it. It wasn't what I needed, but I went through that process with him first since he seemed determined to get to the bottom of it. Throughout the discussion, a couple things rubbed me wrong way. First, he told me he doesn't think I actually feel that way. And second, there was no empathy. When he was done leading that discussion, he asked me how I feel. I told him poorly. The first thing I shared is that it's disheartening when he asks me how I feel, I tell him how I feel, and then he replies with, I don't think you feel that way.

This isn't the first time this happened. Other times when he's asked me how I feel or what I think about something, he's told me, I don't believe you. I don't think you feel that way. It doesn't make sense to feel that way. I think you feel like that because of XYZ, not because of the reason I gave him. The second thing I shared is that I would have liked him to not only focus on analyzing the situation and to say something empathetic like, ah, babe, that sucks you feel so lonely. I'm sorry to hear that.

What's going on? I told him I appreciated the solution mode discussion and that helped, and I also needed some empathy. He got quiet and his body language changed. I asked him if he's upset. He firmly replied, yeah, I'm upset. I asked why and he said because I'm only focusing on the things he did wrong. He tried so hard to handle the situation well and he did everything else right, but all I told him is what he did wrong. I reminded him he did other things right.

And I referenced back to other conversations where he has shared a grievance with me and I haven't given him what he wanted in the moment. He wanted more empathy or more softness, for example, and he's quick to point it out and tell me what I'm not. not doing right and what he needs from me. This conversation kind of ended after that. I brought it up again a week or so later and he said sorry for not handling it well. Argument two, he told me he was making plans to watch a horror movie with his friend, Aaron. They periodically watch movies together, just the two of them, and that's fine by me. However, this made me feel insecure this time because I don't feel like he gets excited to make

plans with me, really tries to make or initiate plans with me, besides just hanging out at home or something or saying we should go to the brunch place we like nearly every weekend. Anyway, I got really quiet and started tearing up in the moment, and I was trying to process how I felt and figure out if it's worth bringing up or if I just need to handle it on my own and not tell him how I was feeling, because I know it's an insecurity of mine. He asked me what's wrong and I decided this is benign enough to talk about. I told him this made me feel really insecure. He told me it doesn't make sense for me to feel that way, I shouldn't feel that way, and he's never done anything to make me feel that way. I explained myself and explained why.

He loves horror movies and I want him to want to share that with me and I feel insecure about it. If the rest of our relationship was healthy, this probably would not have made me feel poorly. But I had been feeling not really wanted for a while, so this kind of tipped the scale. He persisted that it doesn't make sense for me to feel this way and listed reasons why I shouldn't feel that way. Eventually he said okay and he understood what I was saying. He asked me if I felt heard and I said yeah I think so. Then he wanted a chance to say his perspective. He went right into how it doesn't make sense for me to feel that way, why I shouldn't feel that way,

and that he's never done anything to make me feel that way. I got so frustrated because that contradicted what I thought we just resolved. when he said he understood my feelings. He got upset because I was bothered about it again after I just told him I felt heard. He said he wanted softness from me and I wasn't receiving him well. We went back and forth after that,

me trying to explain why his responses to me were bothering me, and him insisting the same things again. It never got resolved. Argument three, I was leaving for Japan on a Friday night. My flight was at like 7 p.m. that same day he was going to drive about an hour away to spend the weekend with his best friend. We talked a few weeks prior and I said I wasn't going to work that day so I could prepare for the trip, and we agreed we'd hang out that day but never firmed up any plans or times. We went out to dinner and I asked him what time he was

planning to leave on Friday to drive to his friend's house. It was a genuine question with no feelings or anything attached. He replied between 3 and 5 p.m. I don't know what I was expecting him to say, but when he told me three to five, I realized I felt bad because I wanted him to want to spend that time with me leading up to my flight, and maybe take me to the airport or something. I never expressed this to him previously. We didn't talk about it yet. But in that moment, I told him I felt unconsidered and I wished he would have considered me. I screwed up because I should have told him I wanted to hang out leading up to my flight instead of saying I felt unconsidered. But at the same time I don't know if I would have felt comfortable telling him that

because it would interfere with his friend time and change his plans. I'm not sure how he would have received that. Maybe well, maybe not, he got really upset. I tried explaining why I felt unconsidered, and immediately his body language changed, he pushed himself back in his chair a little, made this smirk, scoffed, and started interrupting me. I got frustrated and heated and told him not to interrupt me when I was trying to explain my feelings, and I can see he's about to get defensive. I was definitely triggered by his change in demeanor and his attempt to interrupt me. I thought to myself, not again. Not this time. Stand up for yourself and make sure you get to share your feelings. He got even more upset that I assumed he was going to get defensive,

and he got upset I wouldn't let him interrupt me. He said he'd D-I-D. Consider me, his plan to leave between three and five wasn't firm, and if I just let him interrupt me, this big fight wouldn't have happened. He said my feelings weren't appropriate because they were based on an incorrect assumption I made. The assumption I made was that he didn't consider me, and that his plans to leave between three and five were firm. He told me he just pulled that time frame out of the air and it wasn't firm. He didn't have dinner plans with his friend yet, so it was all flexible. When he explained himself I thanked him for explaining it, I apologized for assuming he didn't consider me, and I told him I see his perspective. He was really upset with me, though. So he explained again

why what I did wasn't okay. It wasn't okay that, one, I assumed he didn't consider me, two, I said, I wish you would have considered me, three, I called out his body language, and four, I assumed he was going to get defensive. Side note, me saying I wish you would to him is a no-no because it makes him feel awful, so I have worked hard to not use that phrase with him. I failed this time. I explained that those were my feelings based on the information I had at the time, and even though they were based on wrong information, it's still okay for me to tell him how I feel first, and then he can set the record straight. Then he can say something like, oh, these plans aren't actually firm. Sorry you didn't feel considered. The plans are flexible. And I can say, okay,

sorry for assuming that. I'd like to hang out up until I go to the airport. That didn't work for him. He insisted that if I just let him interrupt me, none of this would have happened. I ended up reiterating his point and apologizing three times. Also, over the summer, something similar happened with the rolls reversed. He assumed something incorrect and he was upset about it, and I interrupted him to tell him what the correct information was, and he told me I need to hear him out first before I chime in with the correct information. Because his feelings are still his feelings and they should be heard. It's hard to do, but I agreed. So I brought up that conversation as justification for why I should be allowed to tell him how I feel before he interrupts me. He still wanted to interrupt me because my

assumption was wrong. Then he got upset that I changed my stance so quickly. When he told me the plans were flexible, I apologized for assuming he didn't consider me and I told him okay, I understand. That works for me. He said he feels crazy when this happens, when I feel bad about something, he explains his side. And then I say, okay, I understand and I let my original feelings go and I side with him. He said that I'm gaslighting him because it seems like a big deal to me. Then he gets worked up, and then I back down. I try to explain that it's normal and healthy for someone to be told new information

and then take that information into consideration and change their approach. It's healthy for me to hear him out and say, yeah, I made an assumption and I shouldn't feel bad about this anymore. Anyway, he was really upset with me all night. The whole fight was because of my poor communication. When we woke up the next morning, I thought he was going to apologize to me. Apparently, he thought I was going to apologize to him. That's when he told me it's over. Next story, husband asked for divorce on our 14th anniversary trip after I found him cheating.

So I met someone new and now we're engaged while my ex is begging for another chance. My 47F husband, 47M asked for a separation on our 14th anniversary. While we were away in a foreign country to celebrate, while we weren't as close as we used to be, we almost never fought and generally enjoyed each other's company and families. We do not have any children. The night before our anniversary, he brought up he wasn't very happy in the relationship. but didn't know why.

The next morning, I asked to see his phone and he said no. He said I would find flirty messages with one or more other women on it. He had made some female friends through school and work and he said felt like there might be someone out there who was a better fit for him. I said I did not want to do a trial separation, as I don't believe you can work on something if you aren't living together. If he wanted to separate it would be final. He understood, but said it was something he had to do.

After being away for only two days, we re-booked our flights home, flew home, and he packed some belongings and left. Seven days later he asked to come home and we started marriage counseling. He had a lot of trouble admitting he had at least one emotional affair. The counseling was not helpful, he was defensive and not open to it. I suspect something physical happened with the other woman but I do not have any proof. He had deleted all his flirty texts, Snapchat, etc., so I had. could not see them. After four weeks of living together again and attending counseling sessions, he decided he no longer wanted to try to save the marriage and he was leaving. He packed up

and left a few hours later. He stayed with a friend, found a new apartment and signed a one-year lease. I was devastated and even had to take time off work to process what had happened and attend individual counseling. After a four weeks, I started to feel a bit better. I went out for drinks with a group of four co-workers that live in my area and found I really enjoyed one of them, 42M, a lot. I had only met him over Zoom before this. We started seeing each other a couple times a week. Quite quickly it grew into a truly amazing, loving relationship. I've stayed in counseling throughout as it wasn't easy to process the sudden ending of my long-term marriage at the same time as beginning something new. It's been about seven months now. My ex-husband eventually

decided he wanted to try to save the marriage again, but I declined. He says I'm TA for starting a new relationship so quickly. Within six weeks of him leaving, our relationship was over as I can no longer trust him, and he has hurt me immensely. I do not want a relationship with someone I cannot trust. Am I TA for moving on? Comments where Op has replied, commenter one. NTA. He literally said he felt there'd be a better woman for him somewhere. He's cheated on you probably multiple times so he doesn't have the right to be mad at you for moving on when he couldn't even stay faithful to you.

He can't try to get rid of you and want you again. Comment her too. He was expecting Op to stay single, still want him and not move on. While he did whatever he wanted. Op, did you actually get a divorce? Oop, in our state couples must be separated a year before they can file for divorce. But yes, we will be filing when we can.

The weight sucks, though. Update, October 25th, 2024. I am not sure how to provide an update, so I hope this is right. The biggest update is that my ex-husband, 48M, and I, 47F, are finally officially divorced. We split everything equally, and I bought him out of the family home. Thankfully, the divorce process was quick and easy once we waited the mandatory separation period for our state. When signing the divorce papers, he asked if I was sure I wanted to proceed, notably, while he was seeing someone else. He wanted to try again if I was willing. I wasn't,

and thankfully he didn't fight it or make the divorce process more difficult in any way. My ex has been seeing this woman for quite a while now. I know he knew her before we split, but I do not know if he cheated with her or not. It doesn't matter to me. I wish them the best. My relationship with my new partner, 42M, has continued to be amazing. It's the best relationship I've ever been in and I can honestly say I've never been more happy. He is kind, loving, and a great communicator. We moved and together a while back, and a few months later we became engaged. We plan to elope sometime in the next year. While it may seem crazy, I am extremely grateful for my exes cheating and the following heartbreak.

Without it, I may not have found the happiness I have today. I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling recently turned down her partner's offer of marriage because he requested her to cease being my primary caregiver due to my disability. However, I pleaded with her to select him. I am a 21-year-old individual with disabilities. Year-old male. I live with my older sister who's 27.

I've been a paraplegic since I was a kid as a result of an accident. Our remaining parent, our dad, is pretty old and sick. He's in an old folks home. My sister takes me to see him occasionally. My sister is pretty much my full-time carer. She has her own job which she works to support both of us. And when she's not on her job, she's usually taking care of me. She's had a very serious boyfriend for nine years.

They've been in a relationship since she was 18. It's always been a very serious relationship as far as I can tell. He's a really good guy and he's always been nice to me. He also hasn't shied away from offering financial help once in a while. I know my sister has always dreamt of marriage. We talk about it so much, me and her, ever since we were kids. We do play weddings. She would always imagine the day she would get married, spend hours looking at

bridal dresses. Even as an adult, he would fantasize about getting married and spend a lot of the time looking at bridal dresses. Talking about her dream wedding, what kind of house she'd like to have. She had names picked out for the kids since she was a kid herself and she's always stuck with those names. So yeah, she's always dreamed of getting married and having a family for a long time. Her current boyfriend has been with her for so long and has been so good to her I figured he would always be the one to marry her. And I'd be happy for her. Finally, she'd have someone to take care of her instead of her having to take care of me all the time. Well, that all came crumbling down. She returned home one day, a complete mess, crying and pouring her eyes out all over the place.

She told me they'd broken up. It was over. She was so sad. Oh, so sad. It was heartbreaking to see. It was like a dagger in my heart to see her crying and upset like that. And I felt so useless because all I could offer were meaningless words. She wouldn't tell me why. I figured she just didn't want to talk about it. After a few days, she still didn't want to talk about. She was still incredibly upset, crying a lot. I told her I'm her brother.

I may be physically disabled, but my heart and mind still work perfectly. She can talk to me about anything very reluctantly and with pushing. She opened up about it. She told me her boyfriend had proposed to her. I told her that's excellent. Why did they break up? She had always wanted to get married and had been waiting years for this. She told me they had talked about it and her boyfriend wanted her to move in with him.

They would find a separate carer for me to look after. They would still see me occasionally, but I would not visit them and my sister would no longer be my carer at all. My sister told me she couldn't accept that. And that was the offer on the table as her boyfriend wanted it. She said she couldn't accept it. They couldn't reconcile their different wants and they broke up. I told her she's crazy. She should have chosen her boyfriend. I know she loved him so much and he was crazy about her. She should have gone and gotten married. She can stay tied to me forever. She should have She should live her own life and have her own family. She was still crying heavily and she told me

she realized that she would never be able to have that. All that stuff she wanted as a kid to be a bride, have a wedding, have a family. None of it would ever happen. She would be taking care of me forever. I insisted to her telling her she didn't need to take care of me forever. She should live her own life. She said no, that's what she wants. That's the way it has to be. She would have it no other way. When I kept insisting, she said no, that's it. She's in charge. She makes her own life decisions and I should stop telling her how to live her life.

She got angry at me and I quickly apologized. She said it's okay, but I could tell she was really upset and in a bad mood. Why is she doing this to herself? I don't understand. Doesn't she see that I don't want her to sacrifice herself like this? Why did she just give up her boyfriend of nine years like that? She loved him so much and he loved her. So why did she just push him away like that?

Why is she hurting herself like that? I don't want her to be hurting herself just for my sake. I never asked her to make this sacrifice of herself. I told her I wouldn't mind getting another carer for me. She said no, it's her. It has to be her. It's her job. It's her duty to me and to our family.

She has to take care of me always. She wouldn't have it any other way no matter how much I try to reason. I hate myself so much right now. I've never hated being disabled more than right now in my life. I feel like a baby or something, like a useless animal. I feel like a ball and chain, like a burden tying her down to the ground and preventing her from living her own life. All I want her to do is to be happy. and live her life and be happy and beautiful on her wedding day like she's always wanted,

not stuck forever taking care of her disabled brother. I wish I could just die to free her of her burden. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't seriously considered just killing myself so she could finally be free and pursue her own life. I'm not just saying that, I'm serious. I know she'd mourn me for a while, even a few years, but after that she'd move on and get married and live her life like she's always wanted. It might be the only way she ever knows true happiness. I tried to convince her, but she seems determined to bog herself down like this. I don't understand. She's not being reasonable. She's not looking out for what's best for herself. Why is she doing this? How can I get her to focus on herself and her own life? Please, guys, help me out. How can I talk some sense into her?

How can I convince her to put her needs ahead of my own and to go focus on her life mainly so she can live the life she's always wanted instead of being chained down to me? How can I convince her of this? Please help, I feel so desperate and sad for her. Comment where op has replied, We underscore got underscore caught. Can you contact a social worker to work as a mediator between the two of you? So that you can get the care you need but still maintain a relationship with her in which she is just your sister, not your care. career? Oop, absolutely, there are many options.

I discussed it with her and told her I could easily find programs that would provide a carer, albeit with added expenses, so my sister no longer has to be my carer and she can go and live her own life. She wasn't interested. She is absolutely stubborn and determined. She seems to have it stuck in her head that she has to be my carer permanently. I don't know why. Update, okay, so this is an update to the post.

I made two nights ago. I just want to first of all say thank you so much to all those of you who posted extremely kind and heartwarming comments. That was amazing of you. Thank you so much. I'm also feeling much better now. I understand things much clearer and talked it over with my sister. It seems I was confused and in the heat of the moment there was a lot of misunderstanding. I have talked it all over with my sister and we are both feeling much better and brighter now and we agree things may have turned out for the best. I now realize, after my sister explained it to me, that he was not right for her, even though they had been together so long. I guess the length of their relationship had left me with a false impression. Firstly, as my sister explained it,

it seems he didn't say I couldn't visit at all, as I had thought she meant, but that I just couldn't visit whenever I wanted to. They'd set times and schedules for when I could visit to ensure I wasn't over all the time interrupting and interfering with their lives. However, it seems my sister didn't like this at all. She said she realized her boyfriend had a problem with me and wanted to play some distance between her and me, and she wasn't okay with that at all. I told her I thought she loved him. She said she thought she did too, but she knows her priorities in life, and she is old enough and mature enough to be able to decide what she wants from life and what her priorities are. I told her I thought she'd always wanted to get married and have children and a

family ever since she was young. She explained to me, she still does to a certain extent, but only if the conditions are right. She said that she was a different person when she was younger. Now that she's older, her ideals and priorities had changed. She said that if she does get married, it's basically like what one commenter described as a package deal, I'd have to be included in the family too, and I'd have to live them and be part of their family full-time. She said if any potential husband couldn't accept that, then he could get stuffed and she didn't want him. That's basically what she thinks of her now ex-boyfriend, and she said she feels much more positive about her future now that he's gone. She said while she was with him, she was always feeling unsure about what the

future held in relation to her and me, but now that she's made her firm decision, she knows she'll never let go of me. I asked her, what if this means that she'll never get married? What if it means that she never ends up finding a guy who's okay with all this and is willing to settle down with her with me in the fray? She said if that's the case, then so be it. As she explained it, she basically said I'm her family now, I exist and I'm the most important thing to her. She won't sacrifice me for a hypothetical husband and hypothetical children who don't yet exist but may one day. She priority number one for her will always be me and taking care of me throughout my life and disability. She couldn't imagine living her life without it. I told her, but didn't she feel she was severely

limiting herself by chaining herself to me? Didn't she feel she was severely restricting her opportunities in life and what she could become? She explained that her years with me and taking care of me had helped form part of her identity. Taking care of me now is part of her identity and character, it's one of the things she lives for. I found that amazing, but she said she could have it no other way. I provide to her just as much as she provides to me, she said, and perhaps even more. I told her she was exaggerating, but she insisted it was absolutely true. She explained how the mere fact of her looking after me and her taking care of me day in day out brings so much joy and happiness to her life. She doesn't know how she could ever live without it. And to her,

It's so much more important than the possibility of having a husband or children. I found it difficult to wrap my head around that. I joke that I really can't imagine that it's always that fun, especially when she's, say, wiping shit from my ass or something. She just laughed and explained how sometimes something that can superficially seem gross, disgusting or painful can still be beautiful and cherished when you look at the love involved. She used the example of a mother giving birth. After nine months of sickness and swollen body, she has her body ripped open, there's blood everywhere, screaming and crying, and it's the most intense physical pain of her life.

But at the end of it all, it's still beautiful because it's an act of love and she endures all that pain to bring to life someone whom she will love forever. So, yes, even acts like wiping shit from my ass, as gross and disgusting as it may seem to some, is in of itself an act of love and an example of how much she, as a sister, cherishes me as her brother and the lengths she will go to as a result of that relationship. And that, I think, is beautiful and true love. So now I have a completely new outlook on her and our life. It's much more positive and I no longer see myself as a burden or a chain. She helped me realize my own self-worth and value. I'm not just some disabled guy in a wheelchair that needs help.

I'm a brother and I provide love, friendship and value to this amazing, beautiful, kind-hearted woman I am so proud to call my sister. I no longer have any thoughts about ending my life at all, because I realize how much I am worth to her and how much I mean to her, and how much it would hurt her if I do that. And I could never bear to do that. So I just thought I'd share that update with you all. After all those incredibly warm and supportive comments you gave me were so uplifting. I can honestly say, even though I may be physically disabled, I consider myself to have this amazing gift because I'm blessed with love, and this love is the most amazing thing in the world, I can't imagine living without it. Thank you all so very much. Next story, boyfriend's female

boss used to be his roommate and everyone said they hooked up. Now she's trying to transfer him across the country against his will. Hey everyone. My boyfriend, Lee, and I have been together for two years. We've been living together for one. Before we moved and together he was living with a friend from work, Kim. In the very beginning of our relationship, one to two months in, I was approached by a lot of his coworkers telling me that Lee and Kim used to hook up a lot. That, of course, made me feel uncomfortable. And instead of being an adult and talking about it with him, I got drunk one night and had a breakdown. Not my finest moment and I've apologized to both him and Kim about my behavior. Lee assured me nothing ever happened between them and that it was just workplace gossip.

I completely believe him and, even if he did sleep with her, it's in the past and he's completely committed to me. After we moved and together his contact with Kim dwindled to just the workplace and occasional get together with mutual friends. Unfortunately, Kim was not so forgiving about my little immature moment. I didn't have the breakdown in public or around Kim but Lee did tell her about it for some reason. I wasn't too happy about that, but I made it a point to try and take Kim out to lunch and drinks and apologize. I thought all was well, but apparently it's not. Over the last two years Kim has been nothing but awful to me. If we're all out to dinner she ignores me, rolls her eyes if I start speaking, will cut in front of me as I'm speaking to people like I'm

not even there. Whatever. I get it. I try to be nice, but I'm not her biggest fan either. What has really set me off is the fact that Kim is above Lee in management and is in charge of expansion. She has approached Lee multiple times about going to open a new branch of the company in a city that is a three-hour flight from where we live. Now, opening a new branch for this company requires the person to live in that new city for at least two years. And she has put Lee's name in the running even though he has told her straight up he does not want to go. I'm fucking livid and, surprisingly, he is, too. But he doesn't see it as a slight towards me, just that she'd like someone experienced to open the new branch. And he's the most experienced in the company to do it, so it could be that.

But, I don't know, I feel there's another motive as well. After all of this Lee still wants me to try and be friends with her. I have told him that a friendship between us just isn't in the mix. I've tried everything to get her to like me, thrown her surprise birthday parties, moved her into a new apartment while she went back to her home state. for an emergency. I even bought her a tour at her favorite distillery all to no avail. I'm done trying. I've told him that I, in no way, want him to stop his friendship with her, but I would rather he not talk about our relationship with her and that I'd rather not be in a room with her slash of dinner with her unless there isn't a sizable crowd where I can pretend she's not there.

I can deal with her at birthday slash holiday events, but besides that, I really don't want to be around her. He's obviously hurt that we can't seem to get along and he keeps trying to push me to be her friend. Apparently he still thinks that she needs more time to get to know me and see how sorry I was about a mistake I made two years ago that I've tried so hard to correct. So, my question is, how do I get Lee to understand that Kim and I will never be friends and that I really just don't want to be around her if I can manage it? Comment where op has replied, Scooter McGueter, how bad was the blowout? Were you yelling? Throwing things? Hitting? That may have a lot to do with why she is being so cold to you. Oop, not bad. I got mad and screamed at him, but she wasn't home. I didn't throw anything or hit anyone.

Just a lot of drunken crying and yelling. Update, so it wasn't really popular and I didn't really respond in the thread, but I did read all the responses. I appreciate the time people took to reply and give their advice, as well as the people who DM'd me and really helped me figure out the situation. So, to start off, I talked to Lee to really get down to whether or not he did sleep with Kim. He swore, again, that it never happened and he would have no reason to hide it if it did. I asked him if maybe Kim had a thing for him that he didn't know about and he thought about it and figured it could be true. I told him again why I didn't want to be her friend and how I didn't like the way she treated me. He wasn't aware of how bad it.

it was so I asked him to make a conscious effort to try and be more aware when we're hanging out together. He's very aloof about a lot of things, makes me glad I made the first move in the relationship. So a week goes by and a couple of his buddies from work want to go out to dinner. We agree and when we show up Kim is there. She hugs Lee but then ignores me. I thought Lee missed it until he looked at me and gave me a raised eyebrow. Dinner goes on and Kim is doing her usual thing of ignoring me, rolling her eyes when I talk or just rudely interrupting me. When she went to the bathroom, Lee turned to me and said, I definitely see it and I'm so sorry. So that was really nice to hear. As dinner was winding down one of Lee's coworkers gets up to make a toast. He goes on and on about

Lee being such a hard worker and how they're going to miss him when he moves to the new branch. I was shocked, so I just said what? Without realizing I said it aloud. Lee was just just as shocked and told them that he hadn't taken the job and he didn't want the job. That's when Kim said that he was one of the top three pick to go down. Lee was, pissed. He got up to go get another drink and I went with him. When he found out that Kim put his name in the running, he went to the higher-ups and told them it was a mistake and that he was not interested. Which means Kim must have found out and talked the bosses into putting his name back in the running.

We ended up leaving early and going home. I told him I'd support him if he wanted to go, but he is very much against going. He now sees why I didn't want to be friends with her and why my assumptions about her were completely true. He went back to work on Monday and asked to be moved to a new department that's not under Kim. He went to HR about Kim overstepping her boundaries and he's even thinking about finding a new job where he doesn't have to interact with her. I'm so glad he finally saw what I saw and he's completely done with Kim. I'm excited to see how losing her will help improve our relationship in the future and he promises to be more aware of how his friends treat me and to respect my wishes slash not force a friendship on me if I don't want it. Comments where OP has replied. Lost sad, confused 11. Now that your husband has taken back all control from her, you need to take steps and protect yourself in case she lashes out.

Make sure you lock down your social media and block her everywhere so she can't see what you're up to. Check locks on your doors and consider installing security cameras in case she goes full psycho since she knows where you live. If she is his manager, she has access to a lot of your husband's personal info, including DOB and possibly SSN. Keep tabs on all your accounts and make sure she doesn't misuse that info to put him at risk of identity theft. It's good that your husband talked to HR so hopefully she can't do much damage at work. He still needs to be vigilant though, and avoid being one-on-one one. with her in case she tries to accuse him of something. I know I sound paranoid, but with her level of crazy, it's better to be safe than sorry. Oh, O.P. definitely didn't think about any possibility

that she could go postal, but you're right, we should be aware and be ready for anything just in case. I might ask that we get security cameras that we can take with us because we plan on moving to a new place in a couple of months. I'll definitely let him know to keep an eye on his personal stuff and keep checking in with HR if he notices any difference in her behavior at work. Pan and Anna, wait, they're ex-roomates, and she's his boss? Were they roommates first, or co-workers first? O-op, they started at the company at the same time and became friends as co-workers. Then they moved and together and became roommates.

After a couple of months Kim went out for a promotion and got it. That's how she became his boss. Tilda KMAN underscore y'all. those hookup rumors. Did Kim start them? Oh, O-O-P, I'm assuming they did. Or other people. It's hard for some people to see too attractive, single people of opposite genders living together and not think they're hooking up. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse did not pardon me due to a misinterpretation and ended our marriage. Almost a decade later, he discovered the reality and arrived at my home. I, a 38-year-old woman.

became single. From my ex-husband Nick, 40M, almost nine years ago. We'd been married for three years and he'd been a good husband but due to a huge misunderstanding, he left me and then served me with divorce papers a few days later. He didn't even give me a chance to explain and so, he never found out the truth. I was so hurt by the fact that he decided that he wanted to leave so fast that I didn't contest the divorce either and let him go. I used to be a housewife then. One day, Nick came back home to find my ex-boyfriend Joe, 38M, in the house with me and he turned around and left without a word. The three of us knew each other from college and Joe and I had dated for just three months

before I realized I had feelings for Nick. Joe had been visiting to invite me and Nick to his wedding that was going to take place in a few months and that was it. Nothing weird or suspicious was going to happen. I'd never do that to someone else. But Nick just assumed the worst and left without a word. I tried to call after him and stop him, but he drove away as fast as he could and even blocked me everywhere, so I couldn't get to him and explain what was going on. I didn't even know where he was and spent the next two days sobbing and panicking.

Joe had also tried to get through to Nick to explain, but even he'd been blocked. I was devastated but believed that once his anger cooled off, Nick would come back and I'd explain everything to him so that we could resume our normal lives once more. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and a few days later, he filed for divorce. I was devastated by that and didn't know what to do. I just needed a chance to explain everything to him but he didn't think I was worthy of it and so, with a heavy heart, I decided not to fight for my marriage anymore and let him go. I didn't contest the divorce. Once the proceeding started, I packed my stuff up and moved in with a friend for a while

until I got a job and could afford a place of my own. It took a while, but I got my life back on track and didn't give myself any time to sit around and be depressed about what was happening. I was angry about Nick's behavior and will always be. I deserved a second chance or at least a chance to explain but even after so many years of being together, he didn't think I deserved it. I felt betrayed and hurt, but I knew I had to look out for myself now. So I got a job and eventually, moved into an apartment of my own as well. By then, my divorce had been finalized as well and even though I didn't get much out of it, I was content. I just wanted to move on with my life and that's what I was doing. I also attended Joe's wedding a month after my own divorce and had a blast reconnecting with my

old friends from college. Nick had skipped it, just as I'd expected and most people were shocked to learn that Nick and I had parted ways. All of them had expected us to stay together forever, as had I but life had other plans. Attending Joe's wedding turned out to be the best damn decision I'd ever made, though. Because there, I met Chris, 40M, the man I'm currently married to and even have a daughter with. We had a conversation at Joe's wedding and I did feel sparks instantly, but I held back since I'd just been through a divorce and wanted to work on myself before I rushed into anything else. I wanted a break from men so I exchanged numbers with him but didn't text for a while. A year later, I was finally in a better place mentally and felt ready to date.

As luck would have it, I ran into Chris yet again at a work event since we work in the same field and I finally agreed to go out on a date with him. Two years later, we were getting married, and another year in, we even had a daughter who's almost five years old now. A lot of time has passed since my divorce with Nick and I'm a brand new person now. So you can imagine my shock when after all this time, Nick shows up at my doorstep out of the blue. That happened a few days ago and I'm still reeling from the shock of it all. I don't know how he found me and neither did I bother to find out later on because I truly

couldn't care less. It was the weekend so my husband and I were both at home with our daughter when the bell rang. I was stunned when I saw Nick standing outside with a bouquet of roses and smiling as if nothing had happened. Before I could even process what was happening, he started talking and explained that a few weeks ago. He'd learned from a friend, that Joe was married to a different woman and not me and he'd finally realized that he'd overreacted back then. He said he wanted to give us a second chance and so, he was back here, asking for forgiveness for whatever he'd done. I had no idea what to say to him. I mean it was ridiculous enough that he divorced me over a misunderstanding all those years back without bothering to find out the truth.

But now he was back after nine whole years of no contact, believing that he could just talk his way back into my life and get a second chance just like that when he himself had denied me that very second chance. Fat chance of that happening. He kept talking while I silently stared at him, trying to think of what to do next. I so desperately wanted to shut the door on his face, but that just wouldn't be humiliating enough, so I decided to do something a lot more insulting. I told him to wait right there and went back to the living room where my husband and my daughter were sitting, waiting for me to come back. I didn't have time to explain, so I just lifted my daughter and my arms and told Chris to follow me to the front door. You can imagine what happened after that.

Nick was horrified when he saw me walk towards me with my daughter and my arms and my husband behind me. I smiled at him and told him that he was a tad bit too late to ask for a second chance now and asked him to get out. After a second of silence, he turned around, ran to his car without another word, and drove away. I was really pleased with myself and I finally felt like I got the closure I'd been looking for all those years ago. Once he was gone, I sat Chris down and when I told him that it was Nick and told him what he'd said to me, we ended up having a good laugh over it. He wasn't over his head if he had really believed that I was just going to take him back, no questions asked, after what he'd done to me nine years ago. I didn't even know why he'd thought it would be a good idea to just spring this surprise on me without doing his own research first. One look at any of my social media accounts would tell him that I was now married and even had a daughter,

but I guess he couldn't get through since I have private accounts everywhere. Even then, he could have asked our old friends and tried to find out what I was up to. Chris believes that he's so self-centered that he must have assumed that I would have waited around for him after he'd left, hoping that he'd come back someday it sounds like a pretty spot on assessment of his character even though Chris has never even had a conversation with Nick. It's been a few days since then and I'd thought that he'd leave me alone after what had happened but this morning, he sent me a message on Facebook from a new account and said that he was incredibly hurt by what I'd done. He genuinely wanted to apologize to me for what he'd done in the past but I'd made a mockery out of the whole thing. He still feels sorry for what he did,

but he also thinks that I owe him an apology as well for trying to humiliate him. Ida for what I did to Nick. Update one so, I decided not to reply to Nick's men. message. He really didn't deserve even an ounce of my sympathy or forgiveness, let alone an apology. My husband was right, he'd definitely just assumed that I'd still be waiting for him and would readily accept him once he was finally ready to come back. He'd always been a self-centered guy and, sadly, I'd overlooked all the red flags before I got married to him. They were always there, he didn't suddenly change overnight, but sadly I was too blinded by my love for him to see him for what he truly was. Once we got together, he'd always make it very awkward and uncomfortable for me

to be around any other guy even if we were just friends. He wouldn't say it straight to my face, but he'd taunt me about it later and make a huge deal out of it so I started avoiding my male friends altogether and would only speak to them in Nick's presence and never without them. He also told me to quit my job and be a housewife because his job required him to spend long hours at the office so he wanted our house to be for him when he came back and he said that he didn't trust anyone else to make sure of that other than me. I was honored back then, so I readily quit my well-paying job to be the perfect housewife for him. And despite all that I gave up for him, he didn't even give me a chance to explain my side. I'd always felt that Nick was especially

jealous of Joe, given the fact that he was my first boyfriend in college and I was with him before Nick so he'd be extra possessive of me when it came to Joe. He never had a reason to, though, since I was always loyal to him and would never even imagine cheating on anyone, but he clearly didn't think that highly of me. After our divorce, I was really torn up and it took me a long time to pull myself together and give love a second chance. A lot of you guys have been saying that I jumped from one relationship into another and maybe it's true, I don't know. I can't exactly deny it because getting into a relationship just a year after a divorce might be too quick for some people, but I'm glad that I did it. I took that leap of faith and that's why I have the best. I have the best

husband and a beautiful daughter today, so I'd say that I'm pretty content with how my life has turned out. I'm not going to apologize to Nick, but I guess I do owe him a thanks, at the very least since if he hadn't left me then I might still have been stuck in an unhappy marriage. Update 2 OK, so I found out a couple more things about Nick. Apparently, the reason he hadn't known anything about my life was because he deleted all his social media, and for the past few years, he'd been living in Seoul for work so he lost touch with his old friends from college as well. He'd moved back just a month ago and had got in touch with a friend of his who wasn't really

close with me so he didn't know about my marriage, but he did know about Joe's, which is all that he told Nick and that's how he landed up on my doorstep. It's still bizarre that he chose to approach me even after almost a decade of not being in touch, but whatever, I'm over it now. He hasn't texted me after I ignored his message and I don't think he will either. I also told Joe about what had happened and even he was shocked at the audacity that he had, showing up without any warning and expecting me to just take him back, and even demanding an apology from me because I decided to insult him the same way he'd insulted me. My daughter did

ask me who that man was, but I didn't tell her the truth because she doesn't need to know. I told her he just had the wrong address and that seemed to pacify her so she didn't ask about it further. I don't think I'm ever going to tell her unless she somehow finds out on her own, which feels really unlikely. Update 3, Nick texted me again. After almost a week of no contact. I guess I'd forgotten to block him which was kind of silly on my part but I'm really busy with work so I'm not beating myself up about it. Coming to the text, he said that he still has a lot of things that he wants to talk about and wants to meet me. He also said that he doesn't mind that I have a husband and a daughter and would still like

to give our relationship another shot because he knows that that's what I want as well, deep down. He's insinuating that I'd be down to cheat on my husband with him, basically. Which is just so ironic because isn't that exactly what he left me for nine years back? I was speechless when I saw that text because it was so disgusting. I couldn't believe that he even had the audacity to send that text to me and thought that I'd entertain it in any way. I warned him to leave me alone and then blocked his number because I sure as hell don't need this man back in my life. It's disgusting, the way he can't see behind him. himself. I don't understand why he still believes that I have any feelings for him at all,

apart from hatred, because I think I made it very clear when he came to visit me that I didn't care for him anymore and my family is all that matters to me now. He should have just taken the hint and left me alone instead of showing me how low he can go and what a creep he is. Uck, it's making me feel so icky to even speak about this. At least now he's blocked and whatever disgusting message he decides to send me next, I won't have to see it. I'm trying to erase the memory of the first one from my head as well, to be honest. It's just gross. Update 4, it's pretty ridiculous how some of you guys are accusing me of still being into Nick.

No, I'm not into him. But I do hate him which, I think, is pretty freaking natural since I was literally married to this guy before he abandoned me. And of course, I told Chris about that text. I'm not a cheater and never have been so I definitely would share something like that. with my husband. It goes without saying that I love him more than anything in the world and I wouldn't do any such thing that would put my marriage in danger. The only reason I'd even open the door to Nick in the first place is that I have a bad habit of not checking who's out there when especially my husband's home and I'm working on it. But that being said, I would never knowingly let Nick back

into my life. I don't want him back in my life either so it's sickening that people are accusing me of doing that. I hope this clears things up. Update 5. So Nick dropped by again and I didn't open the door this time without checking who it was first, luckily. My daughter was out with my husband to meet his parents and I was supposed to accompany them but I got caught up with work. When I realized it was Nick standing out there, I told him through the door that he needed to leave and that he wasn't welcome here anymore. I thought I'd made myself pretty clear when I said that and it meant that he was supposed to leave but he refused to listen. He told me that he was in town just for a couple more weeks and then he'd be in another country.

I was confused as to why he was telling me this since I didn't really care, but then he said that this would be convenient for us. He said that I didn't need to fight it anymore and that we could finally get together now. I couldn't believe that he was standing right outside my house and asking me to cheat on my husband. I was appalled and disgusted and immediately said that he had three seconds to leave or else I'd call the police. Once again, he didn't take it seriously and decided to stay so I ended up calling the police and they had to take him away. I'm glad my daughter wasn't there to witness it, but I did call my husband up immediately. Chris came back within half an hour and made sure I was all right. And I was okay, just a little shaken by what had happened.

I don't even know how he'd found out where I lived. The friend who told him about Joe being married to someone else wasn't even close enough to me to know that I was married, let alone know where I lived so it couldn't have been him. But now I'm feeling weird and uncomfortable in my own home and I hate it. I'm lucky that he's here only for a few more weeks and I'm counting on that to make him stay away. It isn't even myself that I'm worried about the most, it's my daughter. I'm not saying that he'd put us in danger, he doesn't seem psycho. Yet. But I surely wouldn't put it past him. Even today, while I was hiding out in the living room and waiting for the cops to arrive, he was begging me to give him one chance.

He thought I was bluffing about the phone call and didn't buy it even though he'd heard me reporting him on the call. I think that's just him being super delusional. Right now, my husband and I are considering amping up the security and we're going to speak to his uncle who works in the police and get his advice on what to do next because this just took a super weird and creepy turn. I don't want to stick around to find out what he does next. Update 6.

I think I found out how many. Nick traced me. I talked to a couple of my college friends and one of them happened to give out my address to Nick's old friend. She apologized to me several times when I told her what had happened and said that she'd forgotten to ask me first. I'm obviously still pissed about it because her forgetfulness has led to a crap load of problems for me now. I'm taking a breather from this woman now because what she'd done was immensely stupid. You don't just give out people's addresses without asking them first, I think even second graders would know something as basic as that. I haven't heard from Nick after he was escorted off our property by the police, but we're still

considering moving, just in case he was lying about being here for only a few more weeks. Chris and I don't want to risk anything, especially since our daughter goes to school nearby and I'm feeling incredibly paranoid and anxious about how this situation has turned out. So we're still considering a move and the only thing holding us back, ironically, is our daughter. She loves our home and has been very upset ever since she learned that we might have to leave. So any tips on how to deal with this are welcome. Until then, we're just trying to figure out a way to make this work for us right now without compromising on our safety. Update 7. Nick has moved to Canada and I've confirmed it with multiple people, so I know he's gone for sure.

He's back on social media again, so that's how they all know what he's up to. He had texted me once after I'd called the cops on him, only to tell me that he still believed something could have happened between us that day but I was just too scared to let myself do anything. He told me that he'd wait for the day I'd realize, just like he did, that I still loved him and that my husband was just an obstacle in our way and nothing more. He even said that he'd be willing to adopt my daughter to show how devoted he was to me and sent me his address in Canada so I could reach out to him whenever I felt I was ready. I couldn't believe that people could be this delusional, but at least he was gone.

He'd used a new number to text me, so I blocked that as well and that was it. I no longer have to deal with his bull crap or worry about him showing up at my house unannounced again. I'm mostly happy about the fact that we didn't have to move because my daughter is so happy that she gets to stay in the home that she loves. As long as she's happy and safe, I'm okay with everything. And now that I know we're not in any danger, I'm not that worried. either. We're still keeping the security measures we'd taken in place, though, just to be doubly sure. Chris and I also did read the last message that Nick had sent together. We were sitting on the

couch, drinking wine, and watching our daughter play and it honestly felt ridiculous that even after he'd seen my family, he still believed that I'd won him. I can't imagine how any human being can be so self-involved. I even sent Joe that text and he had the same reaction as us. I'm still speaking to my friend who gave him my address, though what she'd done was very irresponsible and as a mother herself, she should know better than that. Not only did she put me in a really tough spot, but also my family and that's something that I just cannot forgive her for. Anyway, my husband and I are planning a vacation to the beach, my daughter's favorite place, in a few weeks so that we can let some steam off, which is much needed since these past couple

of weeks were really very stressful for me and I feel like I've earned a break. I've been very busy with work, as has my husband and I'm sure this will do us a lot of good. Thank you guys for all the love and support that you guys have been sending us. Much love. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse developed feelings for a virtual gamer lady. I pardoned him once but now he is proposing for a non-exclusive relationship. Hello, I've been wedded to my partner for four years. Years and we've been together for 12 years. After a lot of financial struggle, we bought a house and we are now planning to get kids. Thing is a few months ago, my husband fell sick and had to stay home for a while.

He decided to pick up an online game and started having weekly sessions with a group of players. Among them is a girl, 30. I think, and long story short, he fell in love with her. He broke down crying a month ago and admitted it. He told me it built up so gradually he didn't understand how he felt until it was too late. They started texting privately after meeting and eventually had one-on-one calls together. Then at some point, he said, she told him she was in love with him and he realized it was mutual. He said he told her it was impossible but loved her too.

They tried to be just friends but they couldn't resist and continue to show affection for each other. He showed me the texts, but also venture into sexting. She asked if she could meet him face to face, but he refused. So he told me all of this. apologized over and over again and told me he couldn't control himself and while he loved us both, it was me he would choose no matter what. I was still very upset and slept at a friend's that night to gather my thoughts. I decided to forgive him because he clearly felt guilt and wanted to work it out. I told him that while I was deeply hurt, I still appreciated him coming forward

to me and being honest about what happened. We got into long conversations about how we were feeling in our relationship. I accepted he could love someone else but said I didn't like how he handled it. He agreed. And then yesterday he asked if I was comfortable opening up the marriage to Polly Amory. He said he still wanted to live with me and have kids but can't erase nor ignore the feelings he has for her. He says he wants to do it right and let us both see other people, with clear boundaries and communication and still be present for one another. I'm going to be honest, it made me very uncomfortable at first. We have several friends who are Polly, I know more or less how it works. But I never really thought about getting into it myself. I am not against, it just never crossed my

mind before. I am trying to think it through, but it's a lot to take in. Could you guys give me your opinions on this? Thanks a lot. Update 1. Hey guys. First off, sorry I didn't reply to all your comments. I am very thankful for them. They helped me realize hard, but fair, truths about the whole situation. I waited for a bit to think about it all and had multiple long discussions with my husband. I wanted to confront him before making a final decision. To answer some of your questions, the other girl wanted to meet him, but they never did. Partly because my husband refused, but honestly, mostly because she lives too far from here. I still got checked for STDs. though, and I'm clean, yay. As for our Polly Amory friends, they apparently were the ones who suggested

him to go down the Polly Amory Road. I stopped talking to them for now, I'll deal with the bigger problem first. I told him his actions hurt me deeply and that while I appreciated him admitting his affair, it was still infidelity. I told him what you guys said, that turning it into Polly Amory was merely greenlighting the affair after the fact. That Polly Amory should be built on mutual in communication, which he already broke. That I didn't feel respected. It destroyed him. He said he already knew, deep down, but didn't want to admit it, neither to me nor to himself.

We both screamed and cried a lot. He finally admitted he wanted to open the marriage for selfish reasons. He is very sorry. He cut off contact with the other girl, let me fully access his computer and phone, and now wants to go to counseling to repair our relationship and marriage. He is showing me a lot of affection and attention since then, although he admits himself at sometimes out of guilt and not just out of pure love. And now I want to make it work too, but am I?

Or is it some cost fallacy? I don't know. Our first session is in two months, the earliest we could get, and every day I change my mind. Literally yesterday I wanted to leave him, while today I think it's worth giving it a try. Because we've known each other for so long, we understand each other on a very deep level, share a lot of interests, and have already built so much together. He was there for me during hard parts of my life. He took responsibility for his

actions and is really trying. Plus, if I leave him, I'd have to start my life nearly from scratch, find a new place to live, go back into dating for the first time in 12 years. I don't want to lose everything. It sounds very hard and scary. Am I not too old for this? But at the same time, that's a form of denial, isn't it? It doesn't matter if those years were good, it's not going to be the same. Even if he gains my trust back, even if I forgive him, I'll never forget. I think he is genuinely remorseful, but isn't it too late for that? I am too empathetic. Him being present now doesn't erase what was done. Do I want to stay not because I still believe in this relationship, but because don't have the strength to ask for a divorce? Because it's the easy choice,

some kind of codependency. I have no idea. I can picture both paths clearly, and it's tearing me apart. I am lost, maybe even more than I was when I wrote my previous post. I've lost sleep and appetite, and I'm not sure I enjoy anything in my life anymore. I booked a appointment with a psychologist, for me alone, to help with this whole thing. I am sorry, at this point, I am rambling. I know I am the only one who can decide what's okay and comfortable for me or not. It's ultimately my choice and my choice only. The emotional hell I am going through just makes thinking about that choice very hard and paralyzing. I'll go to both therapies and try to see what to do from here. I'll try to update, but it's probably going to take a while. I am sorry.

sorry. I want to thank you again for your support, and I am sending you guys a lot of love. Edit, a couple of infos I should have mentioned but didn't because putting all of that into writing without omitting something is much harder than I thought. He cut off contact with her because once he told him he was married and wanted us both, she just ran away and broke up with him. There are times since then where my husband starts feeling sad or angry because of what's basically withdrawal. And for that he's smartly sensible enough not to blame me. What kind of marriage did we had before this crisis? It will sound so naive.

It's my first and only romantic relationship. We were very close and basically grew as adults together. We could talk about anything and understand each other. We shared the same values and interests. What changed, I think, is that we got into a routine and he got bored. During our argument he said he was addicted to the attention the girl was giving him and that he felt I didn't show him I was in love with him enough anymore. I told him that even if it was true, he should have told me instead of having an affair.

On one hand I have my faults too and I could accept this as one of them. On the other I was taking care of him in the house while he was sick. I don't think he believes it, I don't think he means it. But it makes me wonder whether I was actually a good wife for him. Even though I am not responsible for his actions. Thanks again for your support, y'all. It's a lot, a lot to process, but it helps me. So much.

Update 2. Hey, I hope you are doing well. A huge amount of things happened since then. I'll quickly summarize, feel free to check my profile if you want to know more. It was a very, very unpleasant ride. So, soon-to-be ex-husband had an emotional affair online and tried to make me greenlight it by asking for an open marriage, where we'd be allowed to have side adventures. I refused and his affair partner dumped him.

He begged me to try to reconcile with him, to which I agreed while I was actually trying to prepare my exit. We both went to individual therapy, still am. We separated temporarily three times, but every time I came back, it went terribly. He was desperate. He kept trying to cross my boundaries, love bombing me, playing the victim,

asking to touch me even though I established, I didn't want to, threatening to kill himself if we were to divorce. I could go on and on. This made me finally realize that I was in an abusive relationship, which is an important part, actually the most important part of this update. Please look up definitions and examples of abuse, because I had no idea that what my husband had been doing all these years, even before the affair, counted as such. In his case it was psychological abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, guilt tributting, guilt, blaming, blame shifting, emotional blackmail. Nothing aggressive or mean. Which turned me into a very

submissive partner over the years, always catering to his needs while erasing minds. I rationalized everything. It happened subtly and gradually and I was too naive to see it for what it was. His emotional affair and open marriage proposal were the natural continuity of that. Of course, the more I tried to get away from him, the more manipulative he got. Now that I was aware of it, I knew what he was doing, but fighting years of conditioning, even if you recognize it and succeed, is F. King exhausting and disarming. So, earlier today, I brought a friend home to assist me. We sat down, the three of us, and I told my husband we were over and I handed him the papers.

It might sound dumb, but it's genuinely one of the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I was terrified. Yet he agreed. He repeatedly asked me if I was sure. He reminded me of the family we were planning to have and of our best memories together. Was it all for nothing? Apparently, yes. He was heartbroken, clearly mad and frustrated. But still, he agreed. He signed them and went back to his parents for now. We still have to go through the whole procedure, separate our assets, what to do with the house and all. And he still wants us to go to marriage counseling. But right now, I feel free, for the first time in months.

The last hours have been a mix of tears, celebration and godly, restful sleep. And I have to thank you guys again, because my first post was the wake-up call I needed to eventually, finally, get here. Better late than never egg. Thank you so much. Lot of love to you all. Comments Fee, Onus 7305

He reminded me of the family we were planning to have and of our best memories together. Was it all for nothing? Apparently, yes. He was heartbroken. That's a special kind of asshole. Was it all for nothing? After cheating on his partner. He sounds like an insufferable dickhead honestly.

Congrats on your freedom. Oop, I know right? The hypocrisy The nerves of this man The worst part is that he appears very charming to everyone who knows him, myself included. How a lot of people from our circle, who are aware of what he did, still think he's a good person who just lost himself for a while. I guess it's hard to accept the ones we love can be terrible persons, too. Any decision 470 you have been through a long, hard journey, and it will take a while yet,

but you are investing in yourself and your health and happiness. Good for you. Continues self-care, and practice safety and security. Slow down and heal so that you will be strong and ready to seek and recognize true love. Wishing you a joyous future. You can do this. Oop, thank you. I'll do my best. I like to think the hardest part is behind me, but this story taught me to expect the worst. Whatever happens, though, from now on, it's me I deserve love and happiness and I'll fight for it. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Our BFFs told us their swingers during a drunken night.

I was uncomfortable, but my husband seemed interested. My husband thinks I was rude to his friends over the weekend, but I just felt I was being honest, and they were being inappropriate. My husband and I have been married for 13 years now. We are both in our early 40s and have two wonderful pre-teen kids. We were college sweethearts, and he is the only person I have been with. We have a lovely life. Last week, one of my husband's childhood friend John and his wife Leah visited us along with their kids.

I have known them for a long time, and they visit us every summer, and we take vacations together. Our kids are of same age and get along well. On Saturday night, after the kids went to bed, Leah and John suggested we go to our hot tub and get drunk. I only drink socially and I was just sipping some wine, while others were seriously getting wasted. Leah brought up the issue of sex and how they had slowed down a lot when the kids were young, and now again rediscovered their spark as the kids were getting older. John told us that they have also been experimenting with Swinger lifestyle and how amazing their experience has been. My husband was drunk and told them that we never lost the spark, and things have been great,

while I was just uncomfortably listening to them. Leah asked up if we have ever tried swinging or open relationship, since we both got into a relationship when we were young. My husband had girlfriends before we met me, but I have never been with another man. Leah asked me if I have ever wondered if I missed out on that phase. I told her that I did not since it was like winning a lottery with my husband and it would be foolish to regret not buying the wrong tickets. John asked my husband if he has ever thought about swinging or being with someone else. John was telling him about how the experience is amazing and just

add spice to a marriage. My husband was being polite and listening to it intently, and asking him questions about how they got into it, how they meet other couples, jealousy issues, etc. Leah finally asked me if I would consider something like swinging and it just made me very uncomfortable. I wanted to shut down the discussion and told her that I can never imagine another man touching me in that way, and probably would leave my husband if he ever thinks of doing the same. She asked why and I told her that another man touching me would feel like cheating to me even if my husband was okay with it, and his love is enough for me that I do not seek attention from other men. That shut Leah up and John changed the subject quickly and we carried on. We did not talk about this for the rest of the trip. After they left, my husband thought that I was being judgmental towards Leah and John about their lifestyle. He feels I should have been nicer to them, and not equated swinging to cheating or implied that

Leah was seeking attention from other men. I stood my ground and told him that I felt uncomfortable with them pushing their lifestyle onto us. Was I being rude to Leah regarding their swinger lifestyle? I feel everyone should mind their own damn business. But I was triggered by John essentially telling my husband to think about sleeping with other women, and Leah implying that I should somehow be less satisfied because I did not sleep around with a lot of guys. Moreover, I also felt my husband should have shut off the subject immediately instead of asking for more information and stories from John. Update, August 13, 2024. Thank you for all the replies. They really helped me gain a lot of different perspectives. I talked to my husband last night, and I cannot believe how much worse things have gotten.

I can't believe so many of you could see what I completely overlooked. After the kids went to sleep, I spoke with my husband, Mike. I told him that the situation from the weekend was still bothering me, and I wanted to discuss it. I asked him why he didn't feel angry at Leah for implying that I should feel bad for not sleeping with more men, and why that thought didn't repulse him. He responded that just because we don't agree with someone's lifestyle choices doesn't mean we should look down on their actions. He said that while I was right to shut her down, equating it to cheating or attention-seeking isn't fair to them. He added that I don't know the circumstances that led them to start swinging in the

first place, and we shouldn't judge them. I pushed further, and he told me that Leah and John weren't doing well last year, and that John felt Leah was distancing herself. Leah brought up the idea of an open relationship with which he initially disagreed with. However, they decided that splitting up wouldn't be good for them financially and would be worse for the kids. John then proposed the idea of swinging so they could go out together and avoid doing anything behind each other's backs. According to Mike, they both seemed to have reconnected since then, and John said Leah has been happier and more present in their relationship. Mike also mentioned that Leah was just curious about me because I've never even kissed another man. He admitted he was upset because I rudely

shut them down, and he feels John might be hurt because Mike believes John was forced into this lifestyle and because I equated Leah's suggestion to cheating. This got me thinking, so I asked Mike how he knew all of this. He told me that John had been confiding in him about it since last year, but he never told me because it was John and Leah's secret to share, and he didn't know if they were comfortable telling me. I started replaying the events of that night in my head. After the kids went to bed, John, Leah, and Mike were drinking. Mike was trying to get me to try his vodka drink, but I'm a lightweight, and I know my limits, so I stuck to sipping some wine. Leah decided the weather was great, and we all stepped outside onto the patio.

Mike started the hot tub, and Leah and John decided to get in, wearing only their underwear. Mike did the same. They all were asking me to do the same, but I kept my t-shirt on. I didn't think much of it since I've seen both of them in swimwear before. That's when they told me they were into swinging. John and Mike were discussing the benefits of swinging, and John was telling Mike how amazing it has been. Meanwhile, Leah was trying to convince me that I should be more curious about sleeping with other men. I think a lot of you were right. They might have been trying to recruit us. What makes it worse is that my husband knew about them and still tried to get me drunk and asked me to undress before getting into the tub. I asked him if he thought they were trying to get us to

swing with them. He smiled and said no, but I can easily tell when my husband isn't being truthful, so I kept digging. He then admitted that Leah had asked him about it when they were planning the trip, and he laughed it off because he thought it was a joke. At this point, I was beyond pissed. Leah openly asked my husband about sleeping with him, and he never told me about it. I was playing the perfect host all weekend to a woman who, I seriously doubt it was a joke, asked my husband if he wanted to sleep with her. I was so furious that I slept on the sofa. Mike kept apologizing, saying he didn't want to out Leah and John to me because he thought it was private. However, I genuinely feel Mike's actions were also inappropriate. He tried to get me undressed and drunk

in front of these people. I don't know what to do. I think it's safe to say that I'm never going to be around Leah and John again. However, I feel more hurt by Mike in his actions and am unsure of I'll do next. I hope you enjoy this story. Mill trapped me in a restroom while I was giving birth at her daughter's marriage ceremony because she didn't want me to attract attention. Several hours later, I regained consciousness. In the hospital. My husband Richard Rick, M30, and I, F-29, have been blessed with a daughter two weeks ago. This is our first child, and we are obviously very excited. Things have been very busy on our end. and we are just adjusting to being parents.

It's a hard shift for both of us, but we're trying our best. We don't really have much help because of what happened on the day May, our daughter, was born. It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, and I don't think I can ever forget it. Even the happiness of May's arrival is not enough to help me shake the paralyzing fear I felt that day. I think I would have died if not for my husband's timely help. But despite the horrible event, I still feel that since it involved family, we should be a little softer with them because May is the first child in the family. But I am unsure, and my judgment is clouded with all these hormones and baby duties, which is why I've come to Reddit for help.

This story might be long and has a lot of characters, so please bear with me. Rick has two sisters, Anna and Emma. Both of them are younger than him. Anna is 28, and Emma is 28. And Emma is 20. 24. I have a very good relationship with both of them, and I think there is no animosity between us. We aren't very close since all of us are busy in our careers and don't meet that often. Emma doesn't even live in the same city as us. But we try to catch up once in a while and stay connected via texts or calls. Another important person in Rick's family, and in this story, is my mother-in-law, F-53. While I am on very good terms with Anna and Emma, Rachel is a different story altogether. We don't exactly see eye to eye, and I honestly think she has a problem

with not just me but with everyone. She's the biggest control freak you could imagine, and she just doesn't stop. She wants everything to go according to her whims and fancies. Her kids, all three of them, respect her wishes for the most part because she was the one who raised them after their dad abandoned them. So they tried to make life easier for her and themselves. Moreover, if anyone, dares to want something other than what she wants, she reacts, and the reaction can range from disapproval and moping to a full-blown meltdown with tears and tantrums. It gets difficult to deal with her, so I try to stay away as much as possible. Rick understands this. He knows his mother is problematic, so he lets me keep my distance and deal with her as I see fit. On my end, I understand

how he feels about her, even despite her controlling nature, so I let it be. She doesn't like me much, so she doesn't meddle in my life, and that suits us all. However, things got out of control a few days ago, and it was all because of her. Now, I don't think anyone can ever forgive her. On the day May was born, Anna was getting married. It was a lovely ceremony, and her husband, Jonah, M-30, is actually Rick's friend. He proposed to her around a year ago, and Anna had asked me to be a bridesmaid, and I had accepted. However, when Rick and I found out I was pregnant, I had to request her to ask someone else because I knew I wouldn't be able to manage it. This was almost six months after the proposal, so only six months before the wedding, I was three months pregnant by then.

I had assumed I would get backlash from her for backing out halfway, but I knew I had to prioritize. I was extremely nervous and jittery before telling her. I feared our relationship would be strained forever, but to my relief and surprise, none of that happened. Anna was overjoyed when I told her. She actually forgot about her wedding for a while. When I told her I wouldn't be available for duties, her response was, taking care of you. She even considered shifting the wedding because she didn't want me to miss it, which I would have if May had been born then. That ultimately didn't happen for a lot of reasons, and honestly, she shouldn't have done it anyway. It was a close call in the end.

but she supported me throughout. Emma became the maid of honor, and I knew the two sisters were busy preparing for the wedding, so I didn't bother them much during the pregnancy, which was harrowing for me. Still, both stayed in touch as much as possible, came over and supported me a lot. I feel a little guilty for not supporting Anna

on the most important day of her life, yet she supported me the whole time. The only person who was a little pissy about the whole thing was my mother-in-law. I think she was annoyed I couldn't be the maid of honor anymore, which caused some disruption in the wedding preparations. That seemed like the only logical explanation, and I got where she was coming from. But the hostility, for lack of a better word, continued even after Anna was okay with the pregnancy

and my not being made of honor. The bride wasn't mad in the slightest, but Rachel somehow started antagonizing me from that point on. It was weird, but I thought maybe I was on edge because of the hormones, and she was on edge because of the wedding, and all this was just creating false narratives in my head. I ignored her as best as I could, and things were mostly fine. Things got out of control, literally and figuratively, during the wedding. It was two weeks ago, and I was pregnant out of my mind. My feet were swollen, my belly was huge, and I felt like I would pass out. But I still wanted to attend the wedding because Anna wanted me there. I had asked her beforehand and if she wanted me there because I wanted it to be her day.

I told her the presence of a heavily pregnant woman might take the attention away from her, and I didn't want that. Wedding days are for the bride and groom, and I would hate to be the one to take away from that. When I told Anna this, she was actually offended and hurt. She said she couldn't believe I'd fill my head with this useless crap and not attend her wedding.

She said she didn't care about attention or limelight. All she wanted was her family there to support her on her wedding. wedding day. She said I had to come and not worry about drama. I knew she meant it. She's not the type to mince words. If she hadn't wanted me there, she would have been upfront about it. But she did, and she said so emphatically, and I believed it was my duty to be there for her. So, even though I was physically uncomfortable, I knew I had to be there for her on her wedding day. I'm not going to lie there were a lot of people murmuring, but I did my best to ignore them because I knew Anna was happy I was there. That's all that mattered to me in that moment.

Rachel didn't interact with me much, and she glared at me the entire time, but I was too uncomfortable to notice. I didn't have the energy to deal with her or make sense of her passive aggressive behavior toward me, so I just let her be. She could glare all she wanted, I wasn't going to react to her. Then came the main incident that left not just me, but everyone around me, shocked and scarred to the core. I started feeling uneasy just before the ceremony was about to begin. I then, I had already met Anna. I got up and went upstairs, thinking it would help me feel better, and I'd return once I did.

Little did I notice that Rachel had followed me. I was feeling sweaty and weird, so I went to the bathroom, and suddenly, my water broke. It was a genuine flood, and I started panicking because, even though I love my daughter more, more than anyone, she had chosen the worst possible time to arrive. I couldn't think straight, and thankfully not, I saw my mill in front of me. By that point, I was crouching in pain. She rushed to me, and I told her to take my phone and call Rick immediately because we needed to get to the hospital. She helped me up and made me sit in the bathroom, and I gave her my phone. That's when she flipped. She said she'd make sure Rick came in an hour, once the ceremony was over,

because she didn't want me to steal Anna's spotlight. I asked her if she was crazy and said there was no way I could handle this for an hour. I tried snatching my phone from her, but she locked me inside and took my phone with her. So there I was, pregnant, with my child literally on the way, in a bathroom, sitting on a toilet, with no phone and no husband. I don't know how I didn't have a full-blown panic attack, and thank God I didn't because I don't know what would have happened otherwise. I got up and gradually made my way to the door and started banging on it. I screamed and screamed, but since the washrooms were on the first floor and everyone was seated for the wedding by then, no one heard me. I screamed until my voice was gone,

but no one came. That's when I genuinely felt I was going to die and take my baby with me. I was exhausted, drenched, sweating like a pig, and had no voice left. That's the last thing I remember. I don't know what happened after Elle had passed out from exhaustion. I don't even remember how I got to the hospital. I just know I did. I woke up a few hours later, and I was in the hospital with Rick by my side, sobbing. It took me a few moments to realize where I was and make sense of everything. When I saw Rick crying, I assumed the worst. Everything came flooding back mill locking me in the bathroom, my crying and I thought May didn't make it. When Rick saw I was awake, he heaved a sigh of relief and started crying in my arms.

I didn't know what to make of it and felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Then I saw the nurse come in with a baby girl, and I heaved a sigh of relief. I honestly wanted to slap Rick for messing with me like that, but he said he wasn't messing with me. He was just relieved I was okay because I was unconscious when he found me in the bathroom. I held my daughter for the first time, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget that feeling. or that any better emotion than that exists in life. I just don't think anything will ever top what I felt in those moments. Rick didn't give me any details at that point,

and I'm grateful for that because I didn't have the energy to deal with it. I could faintly hear some commotion outside, and I asked him what was up. He said Mill was outside and wanted to come in and see her granddaughter. I told him what had happened in detail. I told him what she had done, how she had endangered our daughter for no reason. I also told him there was no way I was allowing her near my daughter, ever. To me, she was dead. He said he knew everything. When he discovered me in that state, she broke down and told him everything.

I told him that just because she broke down doesn't mean I was going to forgive her. He laughed and said his mother was dead to him from this point on and that he was going to press charges for life endangerment. He said he would go the legal route and make sure she was punished for what she had done. When I heard him say that, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I know he loves his mother. All three of them do. But after the stunt she pulled, which could have cost me and my daughter our lives, I was in no mood to forgive her.

If Rick had chosen her over me, our marriage would have been over. There would be no coming back from that. Somewhere deep down, I anticipated that he might choose his mother because, despite everything, she had worked very hard to raise them. Maybe I wasn't expecting him to stand up for me the way he did, but I'm not complaining at all. If anything, it has made me love him more, if that's even possible. I asked him how the wedding went, and he said it went fine. Emma and Anna were waiting for him to call so they could visit us.

I asked if Anna was mad, and he laughed, saying I didn't have to worry about Anna at all. She's been beaming with pride and joy, claiming that her complete family was at the wedding, and that May's birth was the best gift she could have received. I had tears in my eyes when he told me that, and I told him to call them immediately. Within a few minutes, Anna, Emma, and Jonah were at the hospital with me. The best part? Anna and Jonah were still in their wedding clothes,

and Anna said there was no way she was going to pass up the chance to take a wedding picture with her niece. I started bawling, full on, and it was such a heartwarming moment. After the picture, I apologize to Anna for ruining her day. She hugged me and said I was looking at it all wrong I had made her day. I told her about Mills' behavior ever since we announced the pregnancy, and Anna said the only thing I did wrong was not telling them sooner. Maybe they could have put a stop to her drama.

I told her I didn't want to cause trouble, and Emma chimed in, saying any amount of trouble was fine as long as I was safe. I have tears in my eyes even typing this because they're not. that's when I knew they loved me like family. I wasn't just Rick's wife to them I was family. Anna is one of the best women I know. She's so secure, so happy, no wonder she is where she is today. I really don't know how Rachel is so different from her children. It's like they saw her and realize that's not what they wanted to become. It's weird, but I don't care. It was beautiful. Mill was still outside, apparently, and Anna had told her on her way and that she would make sure Rick and I pressed charges.

Mill wanted to come in and meet May, but I didn't want her anywhere near me. Anna said we needed to keep ourselves safe from her. Anna apologized to me, feeling she hadn't addressed her mother's over protective instincts or made it clear enough that she had no problem with my pregnancy. She said that if she had, maybe the incident could have been avoided. I told her she had made me feel safe and there was no way she was at fault. All the while, Rick was outside talking to Mill. When I was discharged and came home with May two or three days later, Rick told me what he and Mill had talked about. He said he had informed her he would be pressing charges and that

she could eat ST because nothing would change that. He also told her she was never allowed in May's life. She was not her grandmother in any capacity. She chose to put my life. She chose to put my life and my unborn child's life in danger over an assumed slight that didn't even concern her. He also said all the money he had been giving her, Mill was living off of Rick and Emma's money, would be substantially reduced. That's when she started crying, saying she had slaved away her whole life for the kids and didn't deserve this. Rick told her that while he knew and appreciated all she had done for them, that didn't mean she had control over their lives. He said she was in the and he had been ignoring or making excuses for everything she did for years, but not anymore.

When it came to May and me, she needed to know she had crossed a huge boundary and proven she was not safe to be around, especially since Anna never had a problem. Rachel said that as a mom, she understood that Anna hadn't wanted me there to steal the spotlight, but Anna overheard and tore into her. So, we are proceeding with the case, that's for sure. But Rick will handle it because I have a newborn to care for and can't be asked with this drama. Rick said he would handle it. None of the siblings are willing to talk to her anymore. Anna has completely cut her off, Emma only talks to her when necessary, and Rick and I are obviously no contact.

I don't think Mill anticipated this, and maybe she genuinely meant to protect Anna, however twisted it sounds. I'm not defending her, not in the least. but I still feel bad for her because it all backfired so horribly. Now a part of me wonders if they should talk it out with her because it feels wrong and bad to me. I don't know, maybe I'm not thinking straight. I know if I mention this to Rick, he'll fly off the handle. He's furious with her and can't even look at her right now. I hadn't anticipated this, but here we are.

Update 1, well, any reconciliation is off the table, forever. I know I haven't updated in a long time, but well, I'm a new mom, so between keeping myself and my kid alive, I've been busy. The good thing is that May turns eight weeks old in a couple of days, and we're all super excited. Anna and Jonah have been real sweethearts, helping Rick and me a lot. Emma had to go back to work but calls almost every day. May is literally the light of everyone's eyes. They doad on her, and the group chat is full of her pictures. There's been no contact with Mill.

I convinced Rick not to press charges because we have too much on our plate, and it wouldn't serve any purpose. Rick was reluctant, but he agreed because neither of us has the energy for anything else. When we told Mill last week, she appeared thankful. I say appeared because that woman is genuinely unhinged, and she showed everyone her true colors last week. Last week, Rick and I woke up at around 1 a.m. to loud banging on the door. I thought it was a robbery, and I ran and hid with May while Rick went to open the door. I could hear shouting, but I didn't dare come out because I didn't want May to wake up. It turns out it was Mill, and Rick said she was behaving like a crazy person.

She kept screaming that she wanted to see May and that we couldn't keep her away. Rick said he had to threaten her with the police before she backed off. She was trying to force her way in. We immediately alerted Anna and Emma because if something was wrong with her, with her, everyone needed to know. We were concerned, but honestly, it was for nothing. The next day, she sent us a disturbing text. She started off saying we were being nasty and horrid to her by not allowing her to see and we were punishing her because her only crime was being a mother. There was some more melodramatic nonsense in there. Gradually, her texts became more

unhinged. She said she had the burden of raising three kids and always had to juggle one kids' priorities over another, and that's what she felt she had to do on May's birthday. She didn't want May to take away from Anna's day. She conveniently forgot that May was literally a fetus, and Anna herself had said multiple times that she had no issue with the pregnancy and the wedding happening at the same time. I still understood this part. What rattled me was what she said next. She said she was worried that with May in our lives, she wouldn't be as important to her kids anymore. When I announced my pregnancy, she thought Anna would be mad, because that's what a normal

woman would feel. But when she saw we were all excited about both the pregnancy and the wedding, she didn't like it. Basically, she was saying she didn't like that we were all happy together, with each other, and for each other. She wanted us to be jealous and competitive. She said that when she realized the due date would be near the wedding, she hoped Anna would be mad at us. And maybe then May wouldn't take everyone's attention. But that didn't happen, and all everyone could talk about was May. She said she felt disrespected that a baby who wasn't even born had taken her place as the uniting factor for the siblings. She sent more things and was still typing when I asked Rick to block her. I told him she was deranged and unsafe for May and all of us. I've had a constant headaches in seeing

those messages. I can't believe a woman over 50 is in competition with a seven-week-old baby. It doesn't make sense to me. And it doesn't have to, because I'm done with her. I'm done making excuses for her behavior and trying to understand her motivations. She can go to hell for all I care. We forwarded the messages to Anna and Emma, and they are disturbed too. They think she might be having a manic episode, and Emma said she will fly down to get mill checked at a facility. I think it's a good idea, but I'm staying out of it.

This behavior is crazy, and I don't want anything to do with her anymore. Update 2, we have a restraining order against Mill. She didn't try anything again, but we're being cautious. Emma got her tests done and spoke to both a psychologist and psychiatrist. Everything is fine with Mill. She was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, but that was it. The doctor said there was no underlying medical reason for her behavior, and suggested did Emma take her to therapy?

Emma has since gone no contact. She said she was willing to help if something was wrong, but hatefulness is who Mill is, and she can't tolerate her anymore. I totally get that and share the view. She might have had my sympathy and support in a few months if she had a psychiatric issue, but now that's been ruled out, we know this is who she is. There's no reconciling with that. This is why we took a restraining order.

For Rick and me, May's safety is of utmost importance, and Mill has proven twice she's not safe. Moreover, she has ill-will toward May specifically, so we have to be even more careful they don't come into contact. I think this will be my last update, and I hope I never have anything more to share about this entire episode. This has been harrowing for the family, and I'm just grateful we are all safe.